4
THE ANCHOR-Diocese of Fall River-Thurs Aug. 26, 1965
Pain of Separation
Suggests Prayer, Charity In Attitude Toward Son
Laments Disunity Among Christians
Following Interfaith Dialogue
By John J. Kane, Ph.D.
-We reared my 24-year-old son in a good Catholic home; he attended Catholic schools from .elementary to college. Now he has abandoned his faith, never goes to Mass, eats meat on Friday and tries to justify all of it. He says he doesn't believe, ridicules isfaction by calmly informing' Catholic teaching, and up- him that he must make his own sets his father, brothers and decisions. You have given him sisters as well' as myself. a good Catholic education and Should we as» him to leave the hom e ? " . First, faith is a gift. It is something to be cherished and to be developed. And yet there is probably no Catholic or persons of other reI i g ion s for that matter, who at sometime or other in their lives have not been plagued by doubts about their faith. Some of the greatest saints went thl"ough such periods. Now, I should ask you a question. How should a good Christian behave in such eircumstances? The answer, as you probably know, is with a heart filled with charity. Openly fighting with your son about his par-. ticular convictions will result in DO good. As a matter of fact, most of this may be an attention-getting device and he is not unusual in this type of behavior. Recently a number of letters and case histories have come to my attention in which the son or daughter of a good Catholic family l5eems to have abandoned the faith. On Immature Side In the process of growing up and trying to become independent of parents, some children find it necessary to reject them one way or another. While your son is 24 years of age and by this time should have passed the stage, I suspect he is a bit on the immature side. He is trying to assert his independence and this happens to be one of the methods he chose. But even though I urge you to bear this with charity, I likewise urge you to insist that be give up ridiculing the Catholic Church. He is old enough to form his own conscience, but he is also a member of the family and this may havo adverse effects on others who are constantly listening to his criticism of the Church. 1£ these are his convictions
reared him in a good Catholic home. This is the best that God can expect of you. Please do not be plagued by feelings of guilt, as you apparently are. Spurious Argument I also suspect that in view of his education, he is fairly artic ulate. For this reason he may constantly start spurious argu ments against the Church. Per haps there is no one within the home who has enough education to refute some of the things he may bring up. Furthermore, if there is to be any discussion of this matter, you will have to admit very freely that certain churchmen and laymen have committed evil. If among the 12 Apostles, there was one Judas, it is scarcely sur prising that out of millions of Catholics, clerical and lay, there should be some who have given bad example. If you are discuss ing such matters with him and trying to pretend that tbel"e never were any clerics or lay people wQo were Catholics and did things that were wrong, you are playing into his hands. He will simply delight in refuting your claims. So far as his eating meat on Friday is concerned, you cannot do anything about it. What you can do is to prepare non-meat meals on Friday for the family and in the event he insists upon meat, let him go to a restaurant and buy it. Leaving Home So far as leaving home is con cerned, he has already done so, at least in the psychological sense. 'He has left the Church which is a type of home, and he has left his own home psycho logically because of his strong opposition to Catholicism and the convictions of family members. I would not insist upon his leav ing home physically. Of course, you are heart broken over this situation and this is quite understandable. But you have a powerful weapon at your disposal and this is the weapon you must employ prayer. Perhaps it is a coincidence that your name is Monica, You recall the story of the life of St. Augustine whose mother, St. Monica, prayed for years that he would return to the Church. She should become both your patron and your example in these difficult and trying times. Active Participation
and he is sincere, and frankly I doubt both, at least let him keep his comments to himself. This, incidentally, is another indication of his immaturity, the necessity to criticize the Church. Seeming Rejection But it also indicates something else. It is a whistling in the dark to keep up his own courage. Daily he must reinforce his disbelief in the Catholic Church. If he were firmly convinced that the Church were not the true ehurch, why bother to discuss it at all? He could simply forget
tio~~e~~:e~~: ~~~~bi~gf:~lesi
it. Not infrequently at this period of life a seeming rejection of the Church is not that at all. It is un... willingness to cooperate with God's grace in living up to the commandments. So to soothe an aching conscience he rationalkes his behavior by claiming the Church, not he, is wrong. The extent to which you openh' express concern about his attitudes are a source of satisfaction "to him. Deny bim this Ilat-
?
ought to raise; Perhaps it does not apply to you, but it does ap ply to many Catholic parents. Too frequently they depend ex elusively upon the school, paro chial, high school or Catholic college, to see that their children receive a good education in Catholicism. But education is something broader than merely knowing what the Church teaches. It involves an active, devoot participation in Catholicism. Every Catholic home should have within it holy pictures, holy water font, Catholic literature, and hopefully family prayer. Grace before and after meals is frequently neglected. In other words, too often the very mini mum is practiced.
IN NEW POST: Sister Mary Peter (Traxler) S.S. N.D,. is the new director of the National Catholic Con ference on Interracial Jus tice, Chicago. NC Photo.
STEUBENVILLE (N C ) _ Father Robert H. Punke, who particpated in Catholic-Protes tant dialogue at Otterbein Col lege, Westerville, Ohio, said he "now has a keener sense of "pain of separation" and of Christian brotherhood. The liturgy professor at S1. John Vianney's Seminary in nearby .Blooniingdale, and char tel' member of the Ecumenical Institute of Steubenville, con ducted a class in CatholicProtestant dialogue and under-. standing for a week at the Disci pIes of Christ adult Summer conference at the college. It was the first time in Otterbein's llS-year history that a Catholic priest was a member of the faculty. Other members of the faculty
HAD
VOUR
VACATIOI\J VET?
Plan Demolition Of Pavilion NEW YORK (NC)-Just two m 0 nth s short of closing, Vatican Pavilion authorities at the New York World's Fair are making plans for disposition of their showplace. The major pavilion attraction, Michelangelo's Pieta, will go home to Rome on Nov. 2 aboard the Italian liner Cristoforo Co lombo. :Bids for some of the exhibit objects are being received £Fom a rabbi and a Presbyterian min ister, among others. The rabbi, building a syna gogue in Queens, New York City, wants to acquire three of the bas reliefs on the pavilion exte rior. The Presbyterian minister, in Maine, seeks to buy a display of the Beatitudes that forms the backdrop for quotations fram Pope John XXIII and President Kennedy. The $6,000,000 pavilion will be demolished. Certain art works, such as the liturgical banners, will be sold by bid.
Move Toward Laity Control of Schools VANCOUVER (NC) -Parish lay school boards have ,"oted to ask each Catholic wage-earner for $1 a month to finance trans fer of the administrative control of Catholic schools here in Brit ish Colombia from clergy to laity. In a meeting iii. Holy Name parish hall, school board repre sentatives from 55 parishes in this northwest Canada archdio cese voted 51 to 4 to make the levy. The boards hope to raise $25,000 to establish a diocesan school board and hire permanent staff, including a lay superin tendent o~ Catholic schools. .,
Publish Testament In Punjabi Verse LAHORE (NC) - The first first Catholic New Testament in Punjabi language verse has been published here, "in Pakistan in two stages. The tran"slator, Joshua Fazl ud-din, a lawyer, presented the first part of the work consisting of the Gospels and Acts to Pope Paul VI when he visited Bombay last year for the International Eucharistic Congress. He also sent a copy to President Moham med Ayub Khan of Pakiston. The newly published second part consists, of the Epistles and Apocalypse.
included the Rev. George Cren shaw, pastor of Steubenville's First Christian church and Rab bi Albert Goldman ~f CinciJr nati. "I could not help but be It& pressed by their spirit el Christian charity," said Father Punke. ''Further, I feel that a new dimension has been added to my understanding of ecumea ism. "Now that I have shared me. and discussions with them, I believe that I have come tit know them and their religious convictions much better. I see more deeply that they are as the Church teaches, our brethren ift Christ. And I sense more keenly the pain of separation and dis unity among Christians,- lie said.
THE HGLT 'AT"''''' M188. . . AID TO ftII! ORR,"'" CIIUIICN
THE
If )lOtI could IIOt afford • vacation this yea,. you -received the Holy Father's blessing. At Castel Gandolfo July 25 he said he wished "every man could enjoy a period of rest." To those whe can't enjoy it (at least 99% of the world's population) he gave his special bless· ing.••• Vacation or not, do we really count
HOLY our blessings? We have enough to eat, clothes FA.nf£R'S , to wear, a place to sleep. Three out of four BLESSING people in this world are hungry au the time•• ••• Do you wonder the Holy Father asks help for orphans. deformed infants, feeble old men and women. lepers, blind boys, refugees? You can feed two refugee families for a month for what the average family in this country spends each month for soft drinks ($20). For only $2 you can give a blanket to an abandoned infant. For $500 you can build a three·room house for a refugee family•••• If you enjoyed your vacation this year, or are enjoying it now, why not share your blessings? God rewards the person who thinks of others!
MASS IN
THE
HOLY LAND
AN ANSWER TO HUNGER
=
A missionary priest, Who depends on Mass offerings for his food and clothing, will offer promptly for your intentions the Masses you request. Simply write to us.
-
In Kerala State, south tnd"l8, Archbishop Mar
Gregorios wants to set up in every parish a
five-acre demonstration farm to show people
how to improve food production. Each farm
(backyard chicken coops incJuded) will cost
only $975. Like to give a farm, or part of it?
Youngsters in Kerala have only rice these days
for breakfast, lunch and supper!'The average
family's income is less than $1 a week. Help
us wipe out hunger! _
..
.
A Our legal title is CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WElFARE GOOD ASSOCIAnoN: WILL o $600 will train a native priest, $300 a na tive Sister, who will pray for you always. $10,000 will build a parish "plant" (church, school, I'iJctory, and convent) some where overseas.
o
Dear
IIOnsI8nor Ryan: Please return coupon with your offering
-----------------ENCLOSED ....EASE
FIND $
_
f'OR
_
NAME
_
STAE£T
_
CllY
COD£
t1TATE---.;Zt~
THE CIlTHDLlC .EAII EA.T WELFARE A•• GCIATIDM
NEAR EAST IVIISSIDNS
FRANCIS CARDINAL SPELLMAN, President MSGR. JOSEPH T. RYAN, National Secretary Write: CATHOLIC NEAR EAsT WELFARE Assoc. 330 Madison Avenue· New York, N.Y. 10017 Telephone: 212/YUkon 6-5840
,
.
~
...
,..
',. .:.