Wedding woes Several years ago we visited friends at their simple lake cabin and had a wonderful day with them. They live in a part of the country where the weather is pleasant only three months or so a year and it was obvious they loved escaping to their lake life for the weekend. "Do you come out here a lot in the summer?" I asked innocently and knew right away it was the . wrong questIOn. They stared at each other f Oli a full minute and then he said, "This . the f'Irst time .. IS thiS summer. Too damn many weddings." ' d' d She became d efenSlve an tne ' d I to so ften hiS wor s." t seems l'k I e · d' ' , k'd a II our fnen s an d re Iatlves I s are getting married and that's taken all our Saturdays. John doesn't think we have to go to all of them but I know they'd be hurt if we didn't." We were close enough friends to be able to talk about it freely. Obviously, it was a source of contention between them. He worked in a hot and dirty job all week and longed to get away to the lake on Saturday but they both came from large families and were of an age where the nieces and nephews had reached the marrying age. I understood both sides and was sorry for them. They had saved and worked hard for their lake getaway but they couldn't get away.
We got into a discussion on how command a performance is a wedding. We agreed that family wedding attendance is important but disagreed on weddings of friends' children. I even remarked that in this age of expense some friends may feel called upon to invite us but might be happy if we send . regrets. The other half of our friends' problem was that she enjoyed weddl'ngs but he dl'dn't _ a fal'rly common couple problem, I've noted. • If there aren't many close friends there or if the ones who are there . are fellow workers, it can be just another day for a lot of men. And we all deserve a day off at the end of the week. Living farfrom our relatives, we have the opposite problem. We miss the wedding fun, the reunions )Vith relatives, and the joy that family weddings bring. We get to a few, but not many. I don't believe that weddings are command performances, though, and that if they steal our summer relaxation from us, we need to send regrets now and then. Invitations shouldn't imply mandatory attendance. A Simple note to the effect that we have other plans should take care of hurting others' feelings, especially if they are real friends. Sometimes we're invited to wed-
THE ANCHOR - Diocese of Fall River - Fri., June 2, 1989;
By
Litu~gies
DOLORES CURRAN
dings offriends' children where we don't even know the bride and groom. Attendance at these isn't mandatory. M e Issue ore 'Important t han.th' of wedding etiquette, however, is the issue of leisure time. Whenever a social event prevents us from enjoying needed and longed-for . relaxation, we need to give ourselves permission to say no. . Stress I'S rampant I'n our culture and leisure time is our best antidote. When our priorities are right, we will take opportunities to play even if there's a workshop or wedding we could attend. Others might and will often try to make us feel guilty but, as Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You can't be made to feel guilty without your permission." When we hand our schedules over to others because of the guilt they instill in us, we are handing our lives over to them. I don't know how our friends resolved their problem but they still have their getaway. Ijust hope they are able to use it now and then.
without a priest
FATHER
JOHN DIETZEN
Q. My question concerns celebrating a Sunday liturgy without a priest. A friend of mine in Maine says it happens in their area, but I am confused. How are such services performed without a priest? Is a lay person allowed to read the Gospel, give a homily and follow the exact format as an ordained priest, excluding only the consecration? I am confused. (British Columbia)
A. Sunday liturgies without a priest are occurring in ,increasing numbers in many countries. This must baffle Catholics who quite rightly have always considered celebration of the Eucharist an integral part of the Sunday worhsip. As you know, the eucharistic liturgy has been essentialfor Christians from the beginning, We cannot even imagine the development of a custom which would contra.dict that tradition. Apparently, until the church discovers some way of dealing with
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.Ithedimin~h~gnumbcr~ck~y
Using symbols Lately I have been hearing parochial school system symbolministers of mainline denom- ized the strength of Catholicism in America. inations express great concern Today the use of many such about their congregations. The symbols has diminished or disapnumber of churchgoers is decreas- peared altogether, while we have ing; they feel they are not reaching people who relate to a symbolic youth; and there is confusion over world much different from that of how to bring renewal to congrega- their grandparents. tions. For example, there has been a Many Catholic pastors can echo dramatic increase in working wothese sentiments, leading me to men familiar with the images and wonder how to foster renewal in symbolic language of the business Catholic parishes. world. If I turn my attention at this Youths wearing headsets listen point to symbolism, it might seem to music filled with symbolism a curious turn of direction. But that would have mystified youths anthropologists, sociologists and 50 years ago. theologians alike stress a link beI also think in this context of the tween the understanding of sym- new wave of immigrants in the bols and the renewal of com- United States. Often the symbolism munities. to which they relate is foreign to Wolfhart Pannenberg, a German those they sit next to in church on and a Protestant professor of the weekend, yet all are part of the theology, writes that only through U.S. church. Their worlds of symsymbols and symbolic language bolism must be understood and can the larger community to which addressed. we belong be made present in our If tipping one's hat and meatless experiences and activities. Fridays are gone, what syr.nbois If symbols are not understood are replacing them? If parishes or if people cannot relate to each have Hispanic, black, Asian and other through a common symbolic Middle Eastern members, what language, the life of a community efforts are they making to underwill suffer. stand the symbolism that is theirs? An action can be symbolic, as And how much effort is made to can a picture or image. Remember explain the rich symbolism of the old adages, "Actions speak louder than words" and "One picture is worth a thousand words." OUR LADY'S When we examine symbols that ' Catholics used to use, we realize RELIGIOUS STORE how much they taught about faith. Mon. - Sat. 10:00 - 5:30 P.M. For example, men used to tip their hat as they passed a church, GIFTS as a sign of respect for the Blessed CARDS Sacrament. Meatless Fridays symbolized observance of the day BOOKS Christ died. Nuns wore habits to show their dedication to a world 673-4262 beyond this one. Catholic churches were distinguished by the crosses 936 So. Main St.. Fall River on their steeples. In a sense, the
5
By
FATHER EUGENE HEMRICK
liturgy and liturgical music to our young people? Usually when a parish thinks of renewal it thinks in terms of new programs. Perhaps, then, parishes might consider a program on "Revisiting Symbolism in Our Lives." If some symbols have been lost, surely others are taking their place. What are they? To explore Christian symbolism is to explore ties that bind. A living community is one with a shared language of symbols.
ordained to preside at the Eucharist, the phenomenon you ask about will continue to grow. The bishops of your' country (Canada) established a ceremony and policy for Sunday liturgies conducted by lay people or others who are not priests as long ago as 1981. The Vatican Congregation for Divine Worship issued a "Directory for Sunday Celebrations in the Absence of a Priest" in June 1988. The U.S. bishops' Committee on the Liturgy now is preparing such a ritual for our countr'y, based on that Vatican Directory. Generally these rituals call for a Liturgy of the Word similar to the one at Sunday Mass, with some form ofthanksgiving prayer (which, as you indicate, is not to be in the form of the eucharistic prayers of our present missal), a communion rite and concluding prayers. According to a survey sponsored
PLUMBING/HEATING
by our bishops last year, 70 dioceses in the United States have parishes or missions under the administration of a deacon, lay person or a religious sister or brother. Thirty-one ofthese dioceses had Sunday worship without a priest during 1987, Leaders of Sunday prayer in. almost all of these dioceses have been authorized to preach as well as read the Gospel and other Scriptures. Statistics are yet higher in a number of other countries in Europe and Africa. More detailed information for Canada, including instructions and complete rituals, is available from the Canadian Catholic Conference (90 Parent Avenue, Ontario KIN7NBl). As I indicated, similar documents for the United States are not yet available.
SHAWOMET GARDENS 102 Shawomet Avenue Somerset, Mass.
Tel. 674-4881 3V2 room Apartment 4Vz room Apartment Includes heat, hot water, stove reo frillrator and maintenance service.
ATTENTION-HIRING! Government jobs - your area. Many immediate openings without . waiting list or test
$17,840 - $69,485 Call
1·602·838·8885 Ext. R 7636
AIR CONDITIONING
Working with Architects, Plant Engineers, and Contractors to provide: Prqcess piping, Steam - Hot. Water, HVAC Systems, Heating facilities, Plumbing, Refrigeration, Labor services FIRE PROTECTION
P
PIPING SYSTEMS, INC.
P.O. BOX 409 32 MILL STREET (ROUTE 79) ASSONET, MA 02702 TEL. (508) 644-2221
BOILERS