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My apologies
In a recent Parade maga zine article, comedian Eddie Murphy apologized to homo sexuals, Lucille Ball, Red Skel ton, Jackie Gleason, and 'anyone else offended by his humor, par ticularly his use of earthy language. His open apology is worth con sidering for all' of us. I suspect we all offend others,' intentionally or otherwise, and wish we could apol ogize, but many of these people have passed out of our lives. Oth ers are strangers we may not even know we offended. And then there are those awful incidents of memory that still bring a flush to our faces years later because of an offensive act or statement of ours that embarrassed or hurt someone in our midst. Recalling them is a bit of purgatory. Apology is an act of reconcilia tion, which is a fundamental ele ment of our faith. If each of us were given a public opportunity to apologize, what would we list? I invite readers to reflect on their list. Here is mine. I would like to apologize to those parents of high schoolers I taught 20 years ago when I caused anguish and tension for them and their child by making a big deal out of a misbehavior which I've come to recognize as normal or insignificant. Having teens of my own, I realize that adult over reaction to a missing assignment or a silly behavior can increase family stress and unnecessarily
worry parents that their child is headed for the penitentiary. I am sorry for adding to this worry. I would like to apologize to my eldest child for putting so much pressure on the first-born - to crawl, to walk, to potty-train, to talk, and to behave like an adult at age two. By the time h~r brothe~ came along, I was more relaxed and when he didn't walk until 17 months, I was happy. Ijust dusted him off when I walked by. I'm sorry, Teresa, for some ridiculous expectations. I would like to apologize to all those unknown drivers that I've angered by switching lanes, dream ing through green arrows, and other inconsiderations. I wish we had a hand signal for "I'm sorry," but until we do, I don't dare risk offering my own for fear of its being interpreted as the wrong kind of finger signal. I am not that kind of person. I would apologize for asking a woman when her baby was due when she wasn't pregnant. I wish I could erase that ear-burniqg inci": dent from my memory forever. And to the woman who recently told me she was getting her degree at a college Ijust finished castigat ing for its low standards. I would like to apologize to all those people I meet who hug me and ask about my children by name while I can't remember theirs or, indeed, place them at all. I've
New ministries
Sometimes I hear the com plaint that there are too many new ministries in the church. Let's take just one area of ministry, religious education, as an example. It includes adult edu cation, youth ministry, sacramen tal preparation, ministry to the elderly .and the sick, bilingual and bicultural ministry, education for social justice, and much more. I have spoken with pastors who are overwhelmed by the number of meetings' required' to plan and execute the'tasks of each church ministry, as well as by the cost of supporting so many ministries. You can see why there is concern even fear - over the proliferation of ministries. But although pastors are over worked and budgets often overex tended by the increase in church ministries, a look at what is hap pening in other institutions seems to indicate that the multiplicity of ministries is a sign of the times. Take alcoholism for an exam ple. It is easy to understand that the needs of alcoholics must be served. But today there is a new focus on the children of alcoholics. ' This reflects a deeper sensitivity of the effects of alcoholism. A recent Washington Post arti cle titled "Focus: The Children of Alcoholics," observed that there are 28 million Americans who have at least one alcoholic parent. The article pointed out how the child ren of alcoholics are at higher risk of developing alcoholism them selves. They also may be more prone than others to learning dis abilities, suicide and attempted sui cide, eating disorders and unhealthy overachievement.
When the children of alcoholics grow up, the article continued, they often tend to display several undesirable characteristics: the need to control everything and everyone; lack of self-trust and trust in others. Often they avoid intimacy !lnd spontaneity. The children of alcoholics can develop problems which stem from living with an alcoholic. Instead of seeing their home environment as the cause of the problem, they may blame themselves. Thus we see how research has led to the realization that the children of alcoholics have special . needs. As a result, some new cen t~rs and ministri~s are being estab lished to work with the adult children of alcholics. Alcoholism is a disease with ten tacles that reach out into every facet of life. Wives, husbands childre.n and their physical health: educatIon and psychological bal ance are all involved. . . Today we must reach out to all the victims. There is an ever-greater sensitivity to the large extent of the damage done by alcoholism and the need to repair it. I have gone into detail about the' adult children of alcoholics to indi cate that the church is not the only institution which is finding new needs that require attention. When the church creates new ministries, therefore, it is displaying sensitiv ity to the scope of people's needs. The newly established post of youth minister is another example of a development that has broad ened ministries. In the past, the church ministered to youth through C.Y.O., Boy and Girl Scouts, teen clubs and religious classes. But today's youth ministers have lent
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THE ANCHOR-Diocese of Fall Riv~:r-Fri., May 31, 1985 By
DOLORES CURRAN \
To. serve ornot to serve?
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By
FATHER JOHN DIETZEN
given up pretending and now say "I'm sorry but I just can't come up with your name." For those who are hurt by this, I apologize. It is not as much an indication of your worth as of my overloaded and fading memory. Finally, I apologize for inter rupting, for unintentionally step ping in front of others, for judging situations before I know the full facts, for blaming others for my own bad mood, for intruding when I shouldn't, for being unrespon sive wh~n somebody needs to talk, for telling others how they' think and feel, and for not wanting to prolong a phone conversation.
Q. I am a jury trial judge and must dedde which prospective individual is guilty before the law jurors may be excused from serv Ing. Among the frequent excuses Is of the crime of which he or she is the dalm that Jesus said, "Judge accused. Those are two very distinct kinds nobody and you wlII not bejudged." Often It is asserted by Jehovah ofjudgments which not only jurors Witnesses, but sometimes also by but the rest of us need to keep Protestant ministers. Recently, to clearly in mind, Q. My question is very urgent my surprise, a Cathoilc woman told me the same thing. This lady for our family. Our daughter had was unique, since many Catholic an abortion without my prior know priests and nun~ have served as ledge. She was raised a Catholic and now wants to be married in jurors cheerfully and with dedica the church. Is this possible or Is she tion. (In our state no one is auto excommunicated? (Delaware) matically exempted from jury ser A. Under certain conditions your vice. Even former Governor Brown daughter could have been excom served on a criminal jury two years municated for procuring the abor ago.) Also, for insisting others read Could you explain just what tion, if she knew that an excom and enjoy an article or book I love, Jesus meant by this teaching and munication was attached to that for yawning when I shouldn't, for give me some Insight as to what I sinful act. It's unnecessary to explain de holding up lines while I stir up my might reply to people who Invoke tails, however, because whether purse to find a credit card, for this passage? (California) she was or not, when she was sorry expecting others to keep my car A. The passages to which you for what she did wrong and received gassed because I can't remember refer (mainly Matthew 7: 1 and the sacrament of penance, she can which side the tank is on or how to Luke 6:37) are always interpreted assume that the priest dealt with operate the pumps, and for being as warnings against harsh and self any canonical problems at that just generally imperfect. righteous criticism of others, not time. I'm trying to better but, mean against a clear and open stand on Once this happens she is a full while, I'm sorry. moral issues that affect society. fledged member of the church and Jesus himself teaches this atti as free and capable of marrying in tude, and in this he is in harmony the church as any other Catholic. with the whole of Old and New Questions for Father Dietzen to Testament tradition. From the an answer in this column should be cient prophets (one might particu addressed to him in care of Holy By larly cite Amos, Isaiah and Jere Trinity Parish, 704 N. Main St., miah) to the Gospels, God's people .Bloomington, III. 61701. FATHER have been told they must eradicate the injustices i,:, society that cause EUGENE injury, injustice and even death to the poor, the helpless and other innocent people. HEMRICK They must not, in other words, be neutral about what is happen VATICAN CITY (NC) - Pope ing. They are commanded, not John Paul II declared Franciscan ~heir e~ergies to developing and only to condemn evil done to oth Improvmg the retreat movement ers but to do everything possible to Father Junipero Serra venerable among teens. And these ministers eliminate that evil from human May 9, moving the 18th-century. founder of 21 California missions not only minister to youth; they society. closer to beatification. work to encourage youth to minis Jesus stood clearly in the 'spirit "Venerable'" is the title allowed ter to each other through peer min istry. This is an area where needs of that tradition. The Sermon on . one whose cause for beatification once ,overlooked, or difficult to the Mount, the criterion for the has been accepted by the Congre meet 'are being addressed. The final judgment given. in Matthew gation for Saints. Beatification, hope behind new ministries is that 25, and numerous other occasions when a person is declared "blessed," we are growing in our ability to on which the Lord spoke of the is one of the final steps before responsibility to see that justice is being d~ciared a saint. respond tp others in a more pro Father Serra led a life "of heroic found and encompassing manner. guaranteed for a brother who is suffering unjustly, all indicate that virtue," the pope said, announcing he was not neutral to all this. Nor the advancement of Father Serra did he expect his followers to and five others toward sainthood Last year, Vatican officials had remain simply weeping bystanders. Obviously, therefore, Jesus did said Father Serra could be declared June 4 venerable by August 1985, the end not discourage every kind ofjudg Rev. Joseph P. d'Amaral, Pas tor, 1949, Santo Christo, Fall River ing in the passages your potential of the bicentennial year marking Rev. Louis J. Terrien, O.P., jurors invoke. The context shows his death in 1784. 1920, Dominican Priory, Fall River that while we must not be vindic Father Serra, born in 1713, was Rev. George Daigle, Pastor, tive and cruel, we must recognize a missionary to American Indians and help society recognize and put in the Spanish colonies. Hefounded 1979, Sacred Heart, North Attle an end to social injustices that the first Catholic mission in Cali boro seriously disrupt our human life fornia in 1769 at San Diego. In his June 5 Very Rev. Thomas J. McLean, together. 35 years of missionary 'work, he Pastor, 1954, St. Francis Xavier, It may help your jurors also to established 20 more missions and Hyannis recognize that in making legaljudg brought more than 5,000 people Rev. Msgr. Louis Prevost, Pas ments we in no way pretend to into the Cathoilic Church. tor Emeritus, 1970, St. Joseph, determine how that person stands personally with God. We have no New Bedford Infallible ~~- ...- - - - - - - - -..I way of knowing a person's deepest "Joy is the most infallible sign of THE ANCHOR (USPS·545-020). Second 1 Class Postage Paid at Fall River. Mass, Pub- sou and thus no way of knowing the presence of God." - Leon lished weekly except rhe week of July 4 and whether or how much that person Bloy the week after Christl:nas at 410 Highland is subjectively guilty of sin before Avenue, Fall River, Mass. 02720 by the God. That surely is not ours to ; Catholic Press of the Di,",cese of Fall River judge. Subscription price by mail. postpaid $8.00 per The purpose of the court is only GOD'S ANCHOR HOLDS year. Postmasters send address changes to d . The Anchor, P.O. Box 7, Fall River, MA to etermme, under proper instruc 02722. tion from the judge, whether the
Father Serra now venerable
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