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THE ANCHOR-Diocese of Fatl River-Thur. Mar. 19, 1981
Why don't they write? By Dr. James and Mary Kenny
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er children. We share experiences of mutual interest and our adult feelings and reactions to those experiences. We recommend u favorite science-fiction novel to one son. With another we describe the pleasure we felt jogging on a country road. We shaI'e our feelings abdut a movie we saw, our fright over a near accident. Although our children do not often respond, we find that our letters keep up ties. When the children come home, they are familiar with all that has happened in the family and they eagerly share their feelings and experiences. Writing letters is a way to counteract the mobility of our American lifestyle. As our children grow up, they leave. Most of our adult relationship with our children must be developed through letters or phone calls. Unless we work to develop adult ties with our children, such ties might never occur. When we do make the E!ffort, we find that our friendship with them continues to grow. Questions on family UviDg and child are Invited. Address to the Kennys c/o The Anchor, P.O. Box 7, Fall River, ,Mass. 02722•
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He's in charge· of temple upl(.eep
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Q. Our oldest child started coOege this year. I know young people rarely Write, but the lack of communicatioD really hotben me. He has written one letter In the past six months. He eaIIs occasionally; whenever we call, he seems to be out, he Is a good boy and has caused us almost no trouble. He says I should quit worrying. Is college the end of family des? (New Jersey) A. As parents of five students in three widely separated cities, we are most sympathetic to the question you raise. Here are some conclusions we have reached after six years of WJ,iting to college kids. 1. Whether you write or call, do it regularly. We prefer letters to calls. Letters permit the sender and the receiver to enjoy the message at a convenient time. Our children tend to call at mealtime and, much as I love to hear about my son's new semester schedule, it is difficult to concentrate on the details when a pot on my stove is about to boil over. Letter writing does require discipline. We set aside a certain time each week when we write a letter to each child. The weekly letter gives us a few moments to think of each child. While we
do .not use duplicate letters, I certainly think a duplicated letter is preferable to no letter at all. Naturally we do not receive replies to all these letters. One son, the holder of the non-communication record,. has written three letters in three years. Another son, master of the short Qote, writes us oftener than we write him. Since we, like you, want to keep alive the ties with our older children, w~ avoid demands, subtle or otl1erwise, for replies to our letters, implying that they "owe" us letters is apt to arouse guilt. Guilt might lead to an occasional letter, but it certainly Will not build ties. 2. We have learned over the years that when kids have a problem, they will get in touch with us promptly. Therefore, in our letters we assume everything is going well for them. 3. What do we write about? Few weeks bring any worldshaking events. Mainly we write about family happenings. Even if you are not a natural-born storyteller, you can describe an experience effectively by reporting it as accurately and in as much detail as possible. In our letters we also enjoy a pleasure unavailable with young-
MILWAUKEE (NC) - Franciscan ,Brother Ron Pickarski, who won a bronze medal at the Culinary Olympics for his display of vegetarian food, says that developing proper eating habits will not happen overnight. "You have to develop a taste for naturalfoods," said the brother, who won the medal at Frankfurt, West Germany. "And the foods must be presented in an eye-appealing and tasty way." Brother Pickarski's prize-winning meal was based on the theme of the Holy Family: Joseph represented the entree, the heart of the meal. Mary symbolied the appealing appetizer, while Jesus was represented in the dessert, sweetness and fulfillmen~. according to Brother Pickarsk\. . .. "My apoStolate is to the poor and to those mlsl~d by the big business of the> food industry," he said. Citing SL ,Paul's description of the body as a temple of the spirit, he said ,that he sees himself as being in charge of temple upkeep. "The priority is the spirit, but we can't negate nature," he said. He is opening a restaurant and health food store in Milwaukee and is working on a book on cui1nary arts. He said he doesn't try to convert people to a vegetarian diet but he speaks about health foods
Works Two Ways
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"I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him." - Abraham Lincoln
with the enthusiasm of an evangelist. 'When I entered the seminary I was 50 or 60 pounds overweight. I decided to lose weight and become more conscious of what I was eating," said !Brother
Pickarski. He thinks the worst type of food is white sugar. "A vegetarian diet is a poor man's diet," he said. He hopes to help people by showing them how they can spend less on food yet have better nutrition.
Fiscal conservatism can extend to wardrobe too By MarUyn Roderick
Not a day goes by during which we are not faced with the inflationary cost of just everyday living. In today's paper, $277 is given as the smallest amount a family of four needs for weekly expenses. This figure certainly differs from the one listed for 1971 of $127 or 1959 when the figure was an unbelievable $79 for the same goods and services. What all this has done to clothing budgets is of course noteworthy because the inflationary spiral has completely changed the shopping habits and the wardrobe philosophy even of women in the middle to upperincome brackets. One of my friends, as interested in clothes as I, says that she now goes through the better stores simply to look. After getting some idea as to what's "in" for the season, she translates it into an outfit to create in her sewing class or to search for in an area fashion outlet. This same fashionable woman says that her purchases nowadays often amount to investments, such as a pair of $100
boots she bought recently that she expects to wear for at least 10 years. The savvy shopper of today never buys on impulse (who can afford it?). Instead, she buys items that mix and match with what she already has at home. With just a hint of spring in the air, now is the perfect time to go closet cleaning and see what you have on hand for spring and summer. Jot down the items you really need to round it out and spend that little extra time in the search for them.' Remember, if you build each season's wardrobe around one or two basic colors accessories can be kept to a minimum and each piece you buy will coordinate with many others. Take the time, too, to try some new combinations of outfits you already have. You may be surprised to find that a dress you thought could only be worn one way takes on an entirely different feeling when paired with a different jacket. Take an evening at home to expreiment - it can be fun as well as helping you to become a fiscal conservative (and isn't that the way to go today?).
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