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December 2018
Kislev-Tevet 5779
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Ocean County Stands with Pittsburgh "In the face of suffering one has no right to turn away, not to see. In the face of injustice, one may not look the other way. When someone suffers, and it is not you, he comes first.... To watch over a man who grieves is a more urgent duty than to think of God." Elie Wiesel
Standing with Pittsburgh - pages 2 - 3 and 6 - 9 What's Nu Community Calendar - page 21 PRSRT STD US POSTAGE PAID Phila PA PERMIT NO. 6438
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The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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We Stand with Pittsburgh… Reflections on Pittsburgh… This Time, I Won’t “Sha Still” Love Will Defeat Hate THIS TERRORIST ATTACK IS AN ATTACK ON ALL AMERICANS. • WE CANNOT LET HATE WIN. • WE CANNOT LET FEAR WIN. • WE CANNOT LET ANTI-SEMITISM WIN. By Drew Staffenberg Executive Director of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County
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urdered on Shabbat, simply for being Jews. I feel rage and anger. My heart is broken. Like most, I am sickened, angry and sad over the horrific killings at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. WHEN WILL THESE SENSELESS ACTS EVER END? There are no words to express our grief for the families and the Pittsburgh community. We are all mourning this unspeakable loss. We mourn the dead, pray for the recovery of the injured and offer our heartfelt condolences to the victims’ families, friends and the larger Pittsburgh Jewish community. Throughout my years, as a Federation/JCC CEO, other than military threats to Israel, what worried me most was the possibility of an attack such as in Pittsburgh. I have been to Squirrel Hill many times. I have friends who worked in the community and have family still living there. Ronnie and I almost moved to Pittsburgh about 14 years ago. While it is natural to view this atrocious act through a Jewish lens and note the alarming rise in anti-Semitic incidents in our country and around the world, we must also recognize that similar hate-inspired violence continues to threaten our children, black people, Muslims, immigrants, Christians, people who identify as LGBTQ and others who are perceived as somehow different or deviant.
Unfortunately, anti-Semitism and other forms of hate have and will always be part of our lives. What can each of us do to lower the temperature and have love and kindness defeat hate? We must all stand united against all forms of hatred, as we are strongest when we all stand together and say, love will defeat hate. It is very easy to politicize this ghastly event by pointing fingers and blaming others. I believe we each need to ask ourselves, what am I doing to make the world safer? Prayers don’t change things. Prayers change people. People change things.
That is why my heart aches and my body shivers in fear from the news of the massacre of Jews at prayer in Pittsburgh on Shabbat. This time, I won’t “sha still.”
By Shelly Newman, President Jewish Federation of Ocean County www.jewishoceancounty.org
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s far back as I can remember, my father, whose family fled the pogroms of Poland and the stoning on his way to school, loved this country, but warned me to never think it can’t happen here. During those years after the war, Jews were cautioned to “sha still” when the newspapers reported about anything to do with Jews, good or bad. When the Rosenberg’s were on trial and later sentenced to death, Jews shuddered in silence in fear of the anti-Semitic repercussions.
That is why I continue to be a member of a synagogue, act as the Religious School chair, serve on the Board, and it is why I agreed to become President of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County after years of volunteering on every committee. That is why I have advocated for the need for a strong Jewish community that must ensure that Judaism’s values continue. That is why building a strong Jewish community in Ocean County and elsewhere is vital to our future. You can do this by supporting our synagogues and our Federation. That is why we all need to heed my father’s words, and never forget that it can happen here and we must all continue with “tikkun olam” and heal the world by working together as a proud Jewish community.
Expressions of sympathy and caring are important, but not enough. We must actively work to change things. Now is the time to “walk the talk.” Let’s fill our houses of worship. Let us not hide. This is the time to come together and celebrate our right to pray, our right to live in freedom and without fear. This is the time when you see bigotry or hate, speak up, say something. Law enforcement wants to hear from us when we see hateful behavior. Anti-Semites can’t make us hide. Together, we must stand unafraid, in our places of worship and pray freely, with Pittsburgh and for Jewish people everywhere. When we stand with Pittsburgh…Love will defeat hate.
Jewish Federation of Ocean County, a non-profit corporation, publishes The Jewish Journal 12 times a year. Views expressed by columnists, in readers’ letters and in reprinted opinion pieces do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Journal, the Jewish Federation of Ocean County or any agency of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County. Submissions of copy and .jpeg photos may be sent to Editor (jfoceditor@ocjf.org) or mailed to the known office of publication. All copy or photos submitted to The Jewish Journal shall become the property of The Jewish Journal and the Jewish Federation of Ocean County. All submissions of text or photography may be changed and printed at the discretion of the editor without notice to the submitter. The Jewish Journal reserves full discretion to decide what will be published. No material will be accepted which is considered against the best interest of the Jewish community. Acceptance of advertising neither endorses advertisers nor guarantees kashrut.
Jewish Journal Editorial Committee of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County Anise Singer, Chairperson Paula Hait Beth Josephs
Shelly Newman Rabbi Robert Rubin Drew Staffenberg
Phone: 732-363-0530 Email: jfoceditor@ocjf.org
Would you like to join our committee? Contact us.
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Shabbat, October 27, 2018 – Shabbat, October 27, 1938 By Manny Lindenbaum
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he horrific shooting – Jews gunned down while praying in the synagogue – eleven dead – others wounded – murdered only because they were Jews. The killer screaming against HIAS - Jews helping refugees.
Cecil Rosenthal – David Rosenthal – Irving Younger – Melvin Wax – Rose Mallinger – Bernice and Sylvan Simon – Jerry Rabinowitz – Joyce Fienberg – Richard Gottfried – Daniel Stein Murdered by a hater of Jews and refugees because Jews and HIAS care about refugees. Exactly eighty years ago to the day, on Shabbat October 27, 1938, I was chased across the border from Germany into Poland together with my blind Zayda Tzvi, my mother Friedel, my father Otto, my brother Siegfried (9 years old) and my beloved sister Ruthchen (then 14) all murdered except my brother and I, barely 6 years old. My family was one of 17,000 Jews that were chased over the border with dogs and guns on that day. We were offered help by the Polish peasants with horses and carts, who took all the meager belongings we had, never to be seen again and spent the next year on the fifth floor of a deserted mill with 100 other families without water or any amenities. We were sleeping on the ground; many were sleeping in the stables. It was HIAS (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society) who came to our assistance within 24 hours, bringing help on all levels, bringing food and cotton sacks so we could put straw in them, so we wouldn't be sleeping on the ground. My brother and I ended up on the last boat of the Kindertransport, a Polish troopship, the Warshava, in "safety" to England in September 1939. My parents, Zayda and sister were all murdered. Eighty years later, again on Shabbat, to the day, a crazed hater of Jews gunned down people praying – determined to eliminate the "Jews,” the supporters of HIAS, who help refugees who have not received a welcome in this country.
Irving Younger ,69
Many of our grandparents in this country were helped by HIAS. Mark Hetfield, Executor Director of HIAS, and a good friend, says: “HIAS took care of refugees years ago because they were Jewish. Now we take care of refugees today because we are Jewish.” The horror of the shooting in Pittsburgh brought back dark memories and concern for the future. What has happened to my country? What has happened to welcoming the stranger in our midst? I am ashamed to say that we have lost the values that have made America the home of those merely seeking a better life for their children. The haters in our country and around the world have become more active and vocal. As we mourn and remember, we must continue to be vigil and active and fight against hatred on all levels. I am proud to support HIAS.
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The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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Ocean County Stands with Pittsburgh The photos on pages 7 - 9 are of the October 29 vigil.
Our Community Responds By Paula Hait, Member Jewish Journal Editorial Committee
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e are a community that shares an identity, yet we also celebrate our diversity. There is, in fact, great strength in both. So, when the news of eleven murdered congregants in a Pittsburgh synagogue arrived on Shabbat mor-
Monday morning at work, a coworker offered me her condolences for the slaughtering of eleven of my fellow Jews in Pittsburgh. “Did you know anyone?” she asked innocently, as if somehow all us Jews know each other. I paused and then chuckled at the wisdom of her question and said, “Yes, of course I did, I just never had the good fortune of meeting them.” We are all united as one People! Baruch dayan ha'emet! Craig Sherman Here in the United States, anti-Semitism raises its ugly head once more! Will it ever end? My heart goes out to those who lost love ones in Pittsburgh. My prayer is that people will one day realize that we are ALL very much the same. Just people ... no matter what their religious beliefs. Just people, doing the best we can. ruthieknits What has totally amazed me is the number of non-Jews I have heard from, extending their sympathies. ... We are ONE and must never forget that. I am a first-generation daughter of an immigrant from Russia who in 1930 was given a loan of $200.00 from HIAS to start a business during the Depression. I might add that he paid back that loan very quickly and was always proud of that. Annette Kaplan Under the colors of a beautiful Shabbat day, death entered your synagogue and cut down eleven branches from your Tree of Life. The sun, still shining warm, faded into cold reality. Once again, life has changed and will never be the same. I weep for those who died. I weep for their loved ones left behind, and ponder as to why this happened? How to heal? Our Jewish world has been challenged once again. Shalom Chaverim. Anise Singer The solemn and moving candle-light vigil in front of Congregation B'nai Israel was well attended and a meaningful experience for the Jewish, as well as non-Jewish, community of Toms River. As a Holocaust
ning, October 27, we did not ask ourselves whether these were Reform or Orthodox Jews; we did not question these Jews’ political alignments; we did not wonder if these Jews were supportive or critical of some of the policies of the State of Israel. Each and every one of us immediately began to grieve for OUR common loss – a loss caused by a blindly hateful gunman who did
not care about anything but that common identity.
survivor, it brings back painful memories to me, my wife and other survivors who were present. The acts of anti-Semitism by hate groups in our country demand that our leaders condemn and denounce these organizations in the strongest possible terms. If not now - when? May the memory of the slaughtered victims be a blessing to all. Ernest Mathias
and sisters. I can say this because so many have shown love to me. I think of my best friend Myra with whom I have shared my dreams, my challenges and she accepted me for who I was, listened and loved me. I think of Rabbis, my Orthodox brothers, and close Jewish friends who have loved me. If I imagine the face of Reisa, Manny, Debbie, Simcah, Chananya, Shabtai, or those beautiful kids getting hurt the tears flow from my eyes. This is why I love – because I have been shown love. G-d first loved me, and this is why I love that which G-d loves. I know G-d loves you, will comfort you, strengthen you, and may you be filled to know that so many are praying for you. May you continue to love, so that love may meet you on Earth as your loved ones bask in this love in Heaven! Colin Lewis
Toms River - United we stand, Hate has no home here. Love where you live. Love thy neighbor. Choose kind. Be the change you want to see in the world, NO HASH TAGS REQUIRED. Vicki Lynn Dougherty My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always. WE SHOULD NEVER KNOW OF SUCH SORROW AGAIN. Dorothy Solkowitz Our thoughts and prayers are with the community. This heinous crime has left us heartbroken and feeling so vulnerable. We worry for our children and the futures they face in this “new America.” ... We join together in sympathy with Jews around the world regardless of their affiliations. We are proud, we are strong, we must be united. Lynn Kaban I was present at Monday night’s rally, thought it was an evening worth being at. However,we all understand the dialogue: be kind to each other, respect each other, slow down the angry talk – all words. Then the Rabbis in Pittsburgh write the President: Do not come to our town – all in one breath. Is this not talking out of the two sides of your mouth at the same time. I am pleased that the Rabbi of the congregation was able to show respect and followed through with the dialogue everyone was saying and showed respect for the office of the President of our country now. Thank you, Rabbi Jeffrey Myers. You are a man of principle. Sonny Wallace I am a Black man and I am so sad to hear of your loss and have wept for you. I am a Black man who loves you. How can I say that? Because I love my Jewish brothers
Our community held a candlelight vigil at Congregation B’nai Israel in Toms River on Monday evening, October 29, attended by hundreds of Jews, Christians, Muslims, politicians, law enforcement personnel, and others. This was an immediate,
Our hearts go out to the families and friends of the men and women who were murdered in the synagogue in Pittsburgh. We stand together for love and against hate. Rhoda and Art Pedowitz We are shocked that such a hateful crime could take place in the friendly neighborhood where we grew up and in the Temple where we were married. We have the victims and survivors in our hearts, but very much hope that all around us will work towards an end to unprovoked and violent acts of hatred throughout this country. Marshall and Elene Kurtzman To our dear fellow Jews of Pittsburgh: We are heartbroken at the news of the loss of eleven beautiful Jewish souls from your community. They and you are our family and we mourn their loss as we would mourn members of our family. May you be comforted with sweet memories of these loved ones and know that we lock arms with you and feel your pain. May this unspeakable destruction of life serve to bring us together as never before and their legacy be one of love and unity for all Jews everywhere, wherever they may be. Larry and Karen Mandel
heartrending, and beautiful response to the tragedy in Pittsburgh, but it must be a beginning – a beginning of dialogue within the Jewish community and in the greater community and a beginning of a more civil interaction with each other, regardless of our personal political or religious beliefs. Am Yisrael Chai!
I joined Ocean County Americans united in grief who mourned the Jewish victims of Pittsburgh. Is it possible even in the USA to escape anti-Semitism? How do we teach our children, what are the right words? The answer is in the power of the Jewish people along with friends – supporting each other, contributing to the life of the Jewish community as each can. Hillel reminds us: “If I am not for myself who will be for me; if I am for myself alone, what am I? Ellyn Lyons My sincere and heartfelt sorrow to all the Jewish people who have once again gone through the unthinkable. I’m very sorry for what happened, and it is my great and most sincere hope that all people will see the value and wonder of all religious people. Your people have been persecuted enough. We as non-Jews are appalled and will pray for all of you. John Spoulos I believe fervently that good does NOT come from evil, but rather, we must respond to evil with good. I ask then that you either begin or continue doing anything positive in our community or beyond that increases understanding and combats xenophobia and serves others, and then pour even more of your heart and soul into it. Grief counselors and psychologists tell us and those grieving personal loss report that working on behalf of others brings real healing of one’s spirit and of the world. Rabbi Stephen Gold
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Ocean County Stands with Pittsburgh In Memory of the Victims Murdered in Pittsburgh on October 27 Community-wide Interfaith Vigil Held Two Days Later at Congregation B’nai Israel in Toms River By Rabbi William Gershon Congregation B'nai Israel, Toms River
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e cry out tonight in the words of the prophet Jeremiah, “Mavligiti ’alei yagon ’alai libi davai.. My grief is incurable, my heart is sick within me. The unspeakable has happened in our country – Jews murdered on Shabbat in shul, in the synagogue as they were praying. They have defiled the dwelling place of Your name (Psalm 74:7) We grieve for those who have been lost. We mourn with the families and friends of the victims. We mourn for our own children whose sense of invulnerability and innocence has been shattered. A shul, a sanctuary, is supposed to be a place of safety and comfort. And this past Shabbat in Pittsburgh, the sanctuary was turned into a blood bath of hate and destruction. The American Jewish community is the richest Jewish community that has ever existed outside the land of Israel in the entire, 4,000-year history of the Jewish People. Over the generations we have felt accepted in this country and we have felt safe. The words of George Washington to the Jews of Newport, Rhode Island on August 21, 1790 are worth hearing at this somber hour. President Washington wrote: “The citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy – a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship. It is now no more that toleration is spoken of as if it were the indulgence of one class of people that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights, for, happily, the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. May the children of the stock of Abraham who dwell in this land continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other inhabitants – while everyone shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree and there shall be none to make him afraid.”
And yet, 228 years later, the Jews of this country have been made to feel afraid. What happened this past Shabbat was the realization of our worst fears. We have endured anti-Semitic vandalism and vitriolic rhetoric and, yes, acts of physical violence committed against Jews and even murder. But what happened on Shabbat in Pittsburgh was the worst attack on the American Jewish community in the history of the United States. How can it be in 2018 that America can harbor murdering Jew-haters? It’s hard to comprehend, but anti-Semitism is now a real and present danger in the U.S., inextricably woven into the fabric of the racialized hatred that is tearing our country apart. Now more than ever we must stand together. Over the door of the Bratslaver shul are the words, “Jews must never despair!” No matter how much evil there is in the world, we have never given up on redemption. We have never allowed fear and despair to consume us. Even in our darkest moments, our faith in the future sustained us. Rabbi Jeffrey Myers, the Rabbi of Tree of Life, who was interviewed on CNN remarked: “I will not let hate close down my building… (the synagogue’s name is Tree of Life). You can off some branches from a tree, but the Tree of Life Congregation has been around for 150 years and we are not going anywhere.” The Jewish presence in America has been around since 1654, when the first congregation was formed in (what is now) New York City. Tonight, we are here to declare the American Jewish community has been around in this country for over 364 years and we are not going anywhere! Tonight, we are here to proclaim that the Jewish People have been around for over 4,000 years. We have endured oppression and discrimination, pogroms, and the Holocaust, we have been subject to the world’s oldest and enduring hatred – the hatred of the Jew. We have a message tonight for the Jew haters and the Nazis and the bigots. We are not going anywhere. We will not crouch, we will not cower, we will not hide, we will not shrivel in face of the evil and the hatred that you espouse. In the words of the Mishnah: “Where there is destruction— build.” We will help the members of the Tree of Life in Pittsburgh rebuild so that they will heal and move forward and be even stronger
than before. The Jewish community of Pittsburgh, now shattered and crushed by loss, will rebuild. And the Jewish communities across this great land will overcome this dark and horrific stain on the glorious history of the Jewish community in these United States. We join with men and women of good will of all faiths and backgrounds, race and sexual orientation, with the native born and the immigrant, to fight for an America where hatred and prejudice and despicable evil acts of violence will never be tolerated or accepted. We are all brothers, we all sisters, we are all Americans. And for those of you who are not Jewish who are here tonight we thank you for your support, your condolences, your kindness and your sensitivity and your love. But above all we thank you for your courage to stand up to hatred and bigotry and injustice. An attack on one house of worship is an attack on all houses of worship. Together we must never let this happen again. What happened in Pittsburgh hits close to home. Rabbi Jeff Myers is an old friend of mine and I cannot fathom the great burden that has placed upon his shoulders to shepherd his congregation through the darkest days in its history. The Rabbi Emeritus, Rabbi Alvin Berkun, is a close friend and dear colleague. In his retirement, Rabbi Berkun sits in the back of the shul with his all of his buddies who come early to shul each Shabbos. When I heard the news, I called him. He told me that he stayed home this past Shabbat because his wife was ill. What he learned hours after the tragedy is that every single person who he sits with in synagogue is now dead. The victims were not nameless. They were bubbies and zaydies, nanas and poppas, grandmas and grandpas, and brothers, sisters and parents and children. The powerful words of the poet Zelda come to mind: L’khol Ish Yesh Shem (“Each Person Has a Name”) Each of us has a name, given to us by God and given to us by our father and mother. Each of us has a name, given to us by our stature and our way of smiling, and given to us by our clothes. Each of us has a name, given to us by the mountains, and given to us by the walls. Each of us has a name, given to us by the planets and given to us by our neighbors. Each of us has a name, given to us by our sins and given to us by our longing. Each of us has a name, given to
us by our enemies and given to us by our love. Each of us has a name, given to us by the sea and given to us by our death. Let us mourn the senseless deaths of the eleven who were brutally murdered because they were Jews. Let us never forget their names: Daniel Stein, 71 – Joyce Fienberg, 75 – Richard Gottfried, 65 – Rose Mallinger, 97 – Jerry Rabinowitz, 66 – Brothers Cecil Rosenthal, 59 and David Rosenthal, 54 – Husband and Wife, Bernice Simon, 84 and Sylvan Simon, 86 – Melvin Wax, 88 – Irving Younger, 69. May their memories, their beautiful names, be an everlasting blessing. May their deaths not be in vain. If you are Jewish, come to shul, attend synagogue. Show the haters that they will never win. If you are not Jewish, you are welcome to join us, but I urge you to attend your place of worship. But most of all, whether you are Jewish or not, our prayers must translate into action. As we go forward tonight, let us rededicate ourselves to the holy and sacred task of spreading tolerance and love where there is hatred and close mindedness. Goodness and kindness and compassion and justice must win out over bigotry, hatred and evil. Ose Shalom Bimromav Hu Ya’ase Shalom – May God, the maker of peace, grant peace to us, to the Jewish people and to all of His children. And let us say Amen.
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The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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Ocean County Stands with Pittsburgh
Help the Victims of Tragedy Tree of Life*Or L'Simcha, Dor Hadash and New Light Congregations We have been asked about how to directly assist the Pittsburgh Community. A special fund “Victims of Terror” has been established in Pittsburgh. Funds collected are earmarked for: Psychological services support for families General services Reconstruction Additional security throughout the community, Medical bills, as well as counseling and other services that may prove necessary for victims and first responders during their recovery. Additional resources for our religious and day schools to help our youth process this tragic episode
This fund will help both the Jewish community members and the first responders affected. Our hearts are broken. We join in mourning the victims of the tragedy in our community. We also pray for healing for those who were injured and for all those among us whose pain is beyond measure. We all face tough times in the days, weeks and months ahead, but know that Jewish Pittsburgh will come together to comfort people in need of healing and to stay strong. Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh – Fund for Victims of Terror to: Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh 234 McKee Place Pittsburgh, PA 15213 Thank you for support of the victims of terror.
Statement from the New Jersey Muslim Lawyers Association Released on Sunday, October 28, 2018
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he New Jersey Muslim Lawyers Association (NJMLA) extends our deepest condolences and heartfelt prayers for our Jewish brothers and sisters, along with the brave law enforcement, as the victims of the tragedy at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. This is clearly a hate crime and an act of domestic terrorism. We ask that the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Western District of Pennsylvania, the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Office and / or the Allegheny County District Attorney’s be given time to sort through this horrific crime scene and we urge hate crime charges with concurrent federal and state prosecutions. Ehsan F. Chowdhry, ESQ., President of the NJMLA, stated: “It shocks the conscience that in 2018, a place of worship, on the holiest day for Jewish people, was turned
into a massacre. As Muslims, we condemn this violence and extremism in the most unequivocal terms. People find solace in places of worship, not to be terrorized. Our kids find growth in these homes of reflection. This strikes a personal cord with me as I have relatives in and around Pittsburgh and have been to Allegheny County on multiple occasions. We hope and pray that any and all perpetrators are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and call on humanity to regain their sense of decency as we find ourselves in wayward times. Let us all move together as one.” In our holy book, the Quran (5:32), it is said in relevant part: “that if any one slew a person … it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.” Today we stand together with you!
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The World Stands with Pittsburgh
Dedicated to the baby who was to be named at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, PA on Shabbat morning, October 27, 2018 Zev Steinberg, the author of this poem, felt the need to write it after learning of the tragedy in Pittsburgh. For Zev, he thought immediately of the little boy whose bris it was that Shabbat morning and wrote this in his honor. Little boy, what’s your name – do you have one? Sweet baby, just eight days, what should we call you? I have heard the sacred circumcision postponed for jaundiced yellow, but never before for bloodshed red. Is your name Shalom? We long for peace in this troubled world. I hope you are Shalom. Is your name Nachum? Oh, how we need to be comforted in our grief. I hope you are Nachum. Is your name Raphael? Our broken hearts and bleeding souls need healing. I hope you are Raphael. You should have been carried high into the congregation on Shabbat morning – past from loving hands to loving hands – on a cushioned pillow to receive your Jewish name. Instead your elders fell and were carried out on stretchers in plastic bags. Their names on tags. Is your name Moshe? Our unbearable anguish and rage demands justice. I hope you are Moshe. Is your name Ariel? We need the ferocious strength of lions to protect our people. I hope you are Ariel. Is your name Barak? We need courageous warriors to vanquish our enemies. I hope you are Barak. The blood on Shabbat morning was supposed to be covenantal not sacrilegious, sacramental not sacrificial, sacred not unholy. The tears were supposed to be of boundless joy not bottomless sorrow. The cries were supposed to be “mazel tov” not the mourner’s kaddish. Is your name Simcha? We need an end to sadness by bringing joy into our world. I hope you are Simcha. Is your name Yaron? We need an end to mourning by bringing song into our lives. I hope you are Yaron. Is your name Matan? We need the gift of children who will bring a better tomorrow. I hope you are Matan. So little boy, what’s your name? Take them all if you will. Take a thousand names. Be peace and Comfort and Healing. Be Justice and Strength and Courage. Be Joy and Song and a Gift to the world. Be every good name and every good thing. And, Sweet baby, take one more name if you will – because I hope you will be blessed with a long, blissful, beautiful and meaningful life… I hope you are Chaim.
#WeAreAllJews: The Jewish Media Stand with Pittsburgh (JTA) — Earlier this year, our colleagues at the three leading Jewish newspapers in the United Kingdom published the same front-page headline and joint editorial voicing concern over rising anti-Semitism in Britain’s Labour Party. Today we have found a mournful occasion to follow in their footsteps. For many Jews, the United States has long held a unique role in our collective imagination. It has been an unprecedented land of promise, of refuge, of freedom, of opportunity and of safety. But after the horrific attack last Shabbat at the Tree of Life Congregation in Pittsburgh, in which eleven of our brothers and sisters were brutally murdered, we can’t help but be shaken and concerned for the America we have come to know and love. We therefore join together to unequivocally condemn this brutal act of anti-Semitism and all deadly acts of hate. We also condemn the climate of hate that has been building for some time now, especially on college campuses and on social media, where the veneer of anonymity has allowed anti-Semitic cesspools to flourish, and from irresponsible political leaders who engage in hateful speech and are abetted by the silence of others. As journalists, we hold a variety of opinions about politics in this country and in Israel. The American Jewish community is diverse, and those differences are reflected on the pages of its media. In coming together now, we are not erasing those differences, but rising above them to issue a call for solidarity and respect, and asking our political and communal leaders to do the same. The gunman who invaded a sanctuary on Shabbat did not distinguish among his victims. To him, they were all Jews. We are all Jews. Let this horrific massacre be a moment of redemption as well as grieving. Let us argue with each other as Hillel argued with Shammai – with civility. Let us acknowledge our common humanity with other Americans who have been subject to unconscionable violence, too. Jewish media has a long and proud history in America, and we pledge to continue our mission to inform, reflect and bind our communities – even more necessary in this painful time. Ami Eden, CEO and Executive Editor, 70 Faces Media Dovid Efune, Editor-in-Chief and CEO, The Algemeiner Jane Eisner, Editor-in-Chief, The Forward Nadine Epstein, Editor-in-Chief and CEO, Moment Magazine Sue Fishkoff, Editor, J. The Jewish News of Northern California Jerry Greenwald, Managing Editor, The Jewish Press Lisa Hostein, Executive Editor, Hadassah Magazine Gabe Kahn, Editor, New Jersey Jewish News Janet Perez, Managing Editor, Jewish News of Greater Phoenix Brett R. Rhyne, Editor, The Jewish Advocate, Boston Gary Rosenblatt, Editor and Publisher, Jewish Week of New York Joshua Runyan, Senior Editorial Director, Washington Jewish Week Liz Spikol, Editorial Director, Baltimore Jewish Times David Suissa, President, Tribe Media/Jewish Journal Jonathan S. Tobin, Editor-in-Chief, Jewish News Syndicate
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Federation Honors Outstanding Volunteers at Annual Meeting President’s Award – Larry Mandel
Federation Lifetime Achievement Award – Anise Singer
Larry, this award is long overdue, and we are happy to present it to you. Larry is the kind of person who works hard and quietly. He has headed the Jewish Community Relations Committee almost single-handedly for many, many years. It is time to recognize him for this and to rejoice that the committee will be expanded this year. Larry was at our first Jewish Heritage Day at Blue Claws Stadium. He was standing by himself quietly among all the noise and excitement, offering information about the war and genocide in Darfur, which began in 2003. Since then, Larry has worked on various other initiatives of the JCRC, including meeting with representatives from the ultra-Orthodox community and striving for understanding through The Schmooze, an innovative program Larry developed, and a video presentation about Israel, which hopefully will be shown to members of all communities. In addition to working for harmony among the Jews and non-Jews in Ocean County, Larry is committed to supporting Israel and ensuring that the generations to come will visit, understand, and ensure its success in the future.
Anise has been involved with Federation for many years. She served as Chair of Omnibus for four years, Women’s Division Campaign Chair 1990-1991, and President of the Women’s Division in 1992-94. She cares deeply for Federation’s mission of serving those in need and is very involved with Holocaust survivors. Most recently, she has taken on the important work of Chairperson of the Editorial Committee of the Jewish Journal. You have seen the difference in the paper every month. Her innovations have made the Jewish Journal relevant, interesting, and eye-catching. She is fervent in her quest towards excellence. We are so happy that Anise continues to share her many talents with Federation.
Federation Volunteer of the Year – Fran Gimpel
Jewish Family and Children’s Service Volunteer of the Year – Henry Shery Since the spring of 2015, Henry Shery has played an active role on the JFCS Committee. His questions, guidance and thoughtfulness ensure that JFCS meets the fiscal requirements of the grant from the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany, while guaranteeing the needs of the Holocaust Survivors in our community are met.
This award should be called the Heneni award, because whenever Federation has asked for her help, Fran Gimpel is there. As chair of last year’s The Place to Be, her proactive and organizational skills ensured the evening would be a great success, and she has agreed to do it again this year. Among the many things we learned from Fran is to stay calm and carry on. She surmounts all challenges with a smile. Have you ever seen anything but a smile on her face? Thank you, Fran, for being a great volunteer and our friend. You certainly deserve to be recognized as Volunteer of the Year.
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Nine-Foot Menorah to Bring Warmth to the Needy
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habad of Jackson will ignite a public nine-foot Hanukkah menorah erected at The White Butterfly, 200 N. County Line Road in Jackson, followed by a community-wide celebration on Sunday, December 2, at 4:30 PM for the first night of the eight-day holiday. The ceremony, organized by Chabad of Jackson in partnership with The White Butterfly, will feature a menorah covered with scarves, mittens and socks. Following the menorah lighting ceremony, the winter gear will be donated to the needy. The event will include an entertaining fire show, arts and crafts for children and jelly doughnuts. Admission is free. Bring additional winter gear items to be donated. “The menorah serves as a symbol of Jackson's dedication to preserve and encourage the right and liberty of all its citizens to worship Gd freely, openly, and with pride. It also serves to benefit the needy in our own community,” said Rabbi Shmuel Naparstek. "This Menorah brings a message of light and unity in a divided world,” said Michelle Katz of The White Butterfly who is co-hosting the event. “Chabad’s Hanukkah
In honor of Chanukah and to Say No to Hate
Light One Candle
menorahs are arguably one of the most important events of the year to unite different parts of our community. It is our honor and privilege to be a part of it.” “The message of Hanukkah is the message of light,” added Rabbi Naparstek. “The nature of light is that it is always victorious over darkness. A small amount of light dispels a lot of darkness. Another act of goodness and kindness, another act of light, can make all the difference.” Today, the unprecedented public display of Hanukkah has become a staple of Jewish cultural and religious life, forever altering the American practice and awareness of the festival. Jackson's menorah is one of more than 15,000 large public menorahs sponsored by Chabad in more than 100 countries around the world, including in front of landmarks such as the White House, the Eiffel Tower, and the Kremlin helping children and adults of all walks of life discover and enjoy the holiday message and symbolize a universal message of religious freedom. For information on this event, call 732-668-7702. Chabad of Jackson offers Jewish education, outreach and social service programming for families and individuals of all ages, backgrounds and affiliations. For more information, contact Rabbi Shmuel Naparstek, Chabad of Jackson, at 732-523-5112 or rabbi@chabadofjackson.com or visit www.chabadofjackson.com.
TEMPLE BETH OR Our house is open every Shabbat and during the week. Friday night services at 7:15 PM followed by an Oneg Shabbat Shabbat morning services start at 9:15 AM followed by a Kiddush Weekday Minyan, Monday-Thursday - call for times
Chambers Bridge Road; followed by a Chanukah Party at 5:00 PM at Temple Beth Or
A Whirlwind Tour of Emerging Jewish Communities Around the Globe with Rabbi Jerry and Bonita Nathan Sussman from Kulanu; 7:30 PM; with dessert reception; no charge; RSVP required by December 10
2019 Entertainment Books for sale from the Men’s Club; $30 which includes an app which makes the discounts usable all over the United States
Everyone is Welcome
Our Synagogue is a welcoming egalitarian and LGBTQ House of Worship affiliated with the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism. 200 Van Zile Road Brick, New Jersey 08724 732-458-4700
* Room Rentals Available *Tuition-free Religious School
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templebethorbrick@gmail.com www.templebethorbrick.org
Light one candle for the Maccabee children With thanks that their light didn't die Light one candle for the pain they endured When their right to exist was denied Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice Justice and freedom demand But light one candle for the wisdom to know When the peacemaker's time is at hand Don't let the light go out! It's lasted for so many years! Don't let the light go out! Let it shine through our hope and our tears. (2) Light one candle for the strength that we need To never become our own foe And light one candle for those who are suffering Pain we learned so long ago Light one candle for all we believe in That anger not tear us apart And light one candle to find us together With peace as the song in our hearts Don't let the light go out! It's lasted for so many years! Don't let the light go out! Let it shine through our hope and our tears. (2) What is the memory that's valued so highly That we keep it alive in that flame? What's the commitment to those who have died That we cry out they've not died in vain? We have come this far always believing That justice would somehow prevail This is the burden, this is the promise This is why we will not fail! Don't let the light go out! Don't let the light go out! Don't let the light go out!
Chanukah Candle Lighting; 4:00 PM at Brick Township Municipal Building, 401
Temple Beth Or
Lyrics by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary
12 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
Support Our Ocean County Holocaust Survivors and Seniors Please consider contributing to:
It is easy to donate a little each month, to make a big impact! • Go online to www. jewishoceancounty.org.
• Friends of JFCS • The Holocaust Survivors’ Special Fund matched with $33 for every $1 donated! • The Seniors Lunch Program Special Fund
• Send a check, use your credit card, transfer stock. • Call the office and talk with our staff. • Bring in your Tzedakah box. We will count it for you. • Consider making a monthly gift to support these important programs.
Jewish Federation of Ocean County 1235A Route 70, Lakewood, NJ 08701 732-363-0530
Come to a Hanukkah Lighting Party on Night Two, rd Monday, Dec 3Rd Crestwood Village 6 Clubhouse At 6:00 pm Optional, please bring a snack for 6 others
Info: michael @ 732-580-1039 Please tell all your Hanukkah Celebrating friends to come, bring a friend, make a friend Coffee & snacks served Bring your Menorah, we have candles. Bring the grandkids
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13th Annual Jackson Township Chanukah Menorah Lighting Wednesday, December 5th, 2018 4:30-6:00 P.M., at Jackson Town Hall 95 West Veterans Highway You are cordially invited by the members of Bat Shalom Hadassah, to join the community of Jackson, in celebrating the 13th annual lighting of the Official Jackson Township Chanukah Menorah, on Wednesday, December 5, 2018 from 4:30-6:00 PM. The holiday season in our township is one of joyful anticipation, made possible by the dedication of our Mayor and his administration, the directors and staffs of the Departments of Recreation and Senior Services, Public Works, and the councilmen and women of Jackson Township. 4:30 – 5:00 p.m.: Join us in the lobby of town hall and enjoy our delicious kosher holiday refreshments. 4:30 – 5:00 p.m.: Join us in the main meeting room, where welcoming greetings and inspiring presentations in the cause of freedom in our beloved country, will be offered by our Mayor, township, county, and state representatives, followed by the joyful singing of Chanukah songs, for all generations. At 5:00 p.m.: Join us in the Menorah Lighting ceremony: The community will assemble on the lawn in front of the small museum building. Rabbi Carlebach, of the Chabad of Central and South New Jersey, founder of the official lighting, will convey the message of Chanukah, and lead the lighting, with sponsoring Bat Shalom Hadassah, Yiddish Heritage Clubs, and community representatives lighting the successive flames of freedom. Kindly call Linda Selznick, co-Chairman, at 732-833-0799, for further information.
HAPPY CHANUKAH! from the Board of Trustees, the Volunteers and the Staff of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County and its Jewish Family and Children's Service
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TURN THE PAGE Âť
Our most sincere gratitude to our loyal moviegoers, generous sponsors, dedicated committee and Federation staff Drew Staffenberg, Executive Director and Beth Josephs, Resource Development Coordinator. You all helped to ensure this wonderful community cultural event was our best ever! With much appreciation,
Lauren Gordon and Lauren Rosen Co-Chairs
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Jewish Federation of Ocean County
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Fifth Annual Jewish Film Festival
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Turkey’s Pheasant Roots
Congress Establishes Thanksgiving
By Sarah Rochel Hewitt, Jewish Treats by NJOP
National Archives – The Center for Legislative Archives – www.archives.gov
O
f all the foods that could have become the feature food of America’s Thanksgiving feast, it seems almost poetic that it would be the turkey. When one researches this most American of birds (indigenous to North America), one finds that the turkey is from the Phasianidae family, of the genus meleagris.
“And there went forth a wind from the Lord, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp...And the people stood up all that day, and all that night, and all the next day, and they gathered the quails... And while the flesh was yet between their teeth...the Lord smote the people with a very great plague” (11:3133).
The Torah, Numbers 11, mentions this family of birds in relation to an important Not only did the Israelites lack gratitude lesson on being grateful. for the manna that God was already providing, but one might infer, from the text It is well-known that the Israelites in the (they “stood all that day, and night and the wilderness were fed manna, a special hea- next day”) that they did not even thank venly food. What is less commonly known God for the quail. It was this blatant deis that at one point the Israelites felt that monstration of their lack of gratitude for they were entitled to complain. which they were punished by God. “Who shall give us flesh to eat? We remember the fish, which we ate in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic: But now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes” (11:4-6). When Moses asks God what he should do, God, greatly angered, assures Moses that he will take care of the matter.
From this narrative in Numbers 11, one should learn the important lesson of being thankful for everything that one receives. (For other “Jewish Treats: Juicy Bits of Judaism, Daily” and many other Jewish resources visit www.jewishtreats.org and www.njop.org.)
O
n September 28, 1789, just before leaving for recess, the first Federal Congress passed a resolution asking that the President of the United States recommend to the nation a day of thanksgiving. A few days later, President George Washington issued a proclamation naming Thursday, November 26, 1789 as a "Day of Publick Thanksgivin" - the first time Thanksgiving was celebrated under the new Constitution. Subsequent presidents issued Thanksgiving Proclamations, but the dates and even months of the celebrations varied. It wasn't until President Abraham Lincoln's 1863 Proclamation that Thanksgiving was regularly commemorated each year on the last Thursday of November. In 1939, however, the last Thursday in November fell on the last day of the month. Concerned that the shortened Christmas shopping season might dampen the economic recovery, President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a Presidential Proclamation moving Thanksgiving to the second to last Thursday of November. As a result of the proclamation, 32 states issued similar proclamations while 16 states refused to ac-
cept the change and proclaimed Thanksgiving to be the last Thursday in November. For two years two days were celebrated as Thanksgiving – the President and part of the nation celebrated it on the second to last Thursday in November, while the rest of the country celebrated it the following week. To end the confusion, Congress decided to set a fixed-date for the holiday. On October 6, 1941, the House passed a joint resolution declaring the last Thursday in November to be the legal Thanksgiving Day. The Senate, however, amended the resolution establishing the holiday as the fourth Thursday, which would take into account those years when November has five Thursdays. The House agreed to the amendment, and President Roosevelt signed the resolution on December 26, 1941, thus establishing the fourth Thursday in November as the Federal Thanksgiving Day holiday.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
18 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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Special Art Exhibit at Congregation Presentation on New Ahavat Olam in Howell Emerging Jewish Communities avid Labkovski (1906-1991) documented major historical upheavals through art in order to bear witness to the remarkable events of his lifetime.
D
work; he wanted it to be used in its entirety to bear witness to that history. Late in life, through his work, he found some peace and a renewed sense of hope.
Labkovski spent his childhood in Vilna (current day Vilnius, Lithuania) and was nurtured by a thriving Jewish community at a time of cultural and artistic vibrancy. He worked at the Moscow State Yiddish Theater and studied at the Academy of Art in Leningrad.
The David Labkovski Project presents the collection in a manner that allows that history to unfold. The exhibit takes the viewer on a journey that both touches on emotions and provides an accessible understanding of the historical context reflected within his art.
In 1940, Labkovski was conscripted into the Red Army. Shortly after, his hometown of Vilna was occupied by the Nazis from June 1941 until July 1944. Physically devastated by the war, the city itself became a subject in Labkovski’s work. However, even more than the desolation and destruction seen in streets of the city, Labkovski’s work depicts the testimony of survivors of the Nazi occupation.
From Saturday, December 8 through Thursday, December 13, the art work of David Labkovski will be on display at Congregation Ahavat Olam, 106 Windeler Road, Howell. This exhibit has traveled worldwide to present Mr. Labkovski’s representation of the Holocaust.
After the war, Labkovski remained behind the “Iron Curtain” for over a decade. During that time, he was arrested for anti-Soviet behavior and sentenced to three years of hard labor in the Gulag in Siberia. Upon his release in 1946, he returned to his childhood home. In 1958, he was finally given permission to emigrate to Israel. He lived as a free man for the first time since his childhood. Labkovski’s work reveals his release of suppressed emotion and documentation of the devastating history he lived through. He chose not to sell much of his
Opening night, on December 8, will include a cocktail party, lecture, and viewing of the exhibit. On Sunday, December 9, visitors will partake in reviewing the writings of Shalom Aleichem as it compares to David Labkovski’s art as well as have the opportunity to paint in the Labkovski style. Throughout the following week, students, individuals and groups will be able to come and enjoy the exhibit. For times and pricing please call (732) 3331299 or email artexhibit@cao-nj.org.
have experienced some kind of disconnection from global Jewry.
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emple Beth Or in Brick is hosting an adult education program with Rabbi Jerry and Bonita Nathan Sussman from Kulanu on “A Whirlwind Tour of Emerging Jewish Communities Around the Globe” on Saturday, December 15 at 7:30 PM with a dessert reception following the presentation.
“Kulanu” means “all of us” in Hebrew. Kulanu is a non-profit organization that seeks to create an inclusive Jewish world. Founded in 1994, it supports isolated, emerging, and returning Jewish communities around the world. Some are discovering Judaism for the first time, others reinvigorating a forgotten practice, but all
Kulanu raises awareness and support to assist these groups with their desire to learn more about Judaism and connect with Jews beyond their community. The connections that are forged – through education, research, networking, fundraising, sustainable development, and publications – help “all of us” to enrich our Jewish lives. Bonita Nathan Sussman is the Vice-President of Kulanu and Rabbi Jerry Sussman serves as a rabbinic advisor. They have travelled extensively to many different parts of the world to work with various emerging Jewish communities Temple Beth Or is located at 200 Van Zile Road (corner of Route 70) in Brick. There is no charge, however reservations are required by December 10. Contacts Naomi Monter, Adult Education Chairperson, at 732-279-0099 or the Temple at 732-4584700 or by email to templebethorbrick@ gmail.com.
Synagogue Happenings - Temple Beth Or, Brick
For more information about this exhibit, visit http://www.davidlabkovskiproject.org.
Synagogue Happenings - JCC of LBI
Fifteen members of the Jewish Community Center of Long Beach Island traveled to Israel on a twelve-day tour of the Holy Land led by Rabbi Michael S. Jay, spiritual leader of the congregation. Pictured here is the group in Jerusalem with their guide, David Eisenstadt.
Alexis, a student at Temple Beth Or in Brick, for her Bat Mitzvah Project, collected dog-related items to benefit New Life for Paws which is a non-profit organization whose mission is to rescue as many stray, neglected and abandoned dogs as possible, while spaying and neutering them to reduce the over-population of street dogs in Aruba. Shelter, food and veterinary care is provided for each of the rescue dogs that are saved. Another group, Aruba Flight Volunteers, transports these rescued puppies and dogs to the United States where they are adopted and find their “Fur-ever” home. Alexis’ family was given the opportunity to transport two puppies back to the U.S. last year.
Students in the Religious School of Temple Beth Or in Brick helped hand over the food collected around the time of the High Holidays at TBO to representatives of the Food Pantry of St. Thomas Lutheran Church in Brick.
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CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL INVITES YOU TO:
Chanukah Fair, Celebration & Candle Lighting SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9TH 4:30PM - 6:30 PM Bring & Light Your Own Hanukkiot
Make Your Own Ugly Chanukah Sweater
Games, Music, Latkes & Jelly Doughnuts
Congregation B'nai Israel
Open to the Community Free of Charge
1488 Old Freehold Rd, Toms River, NJ 08753 732-349-1244 · www.cbitr.org info@cbitr.org
SOMETHING FOR
EVERYONE EAT
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PLAY
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20 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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TRIBUTES (October 12 – November 8)
In Honor of: Fran Gimpel – Mazal Tov on your richly deserved award and thank you for all you do and for who you are! Jennifer Josephs’ new position by: Shelly and Dennis Newman Shelly Newman – Beginning your second term as President of JFOC and your years of service to Beth Am Shalom Anise Singer receiving the “Lifetime Achievement Award” by: Donald and Judith Love
What’s Nu? Community Calendar These events are open to all, but it is a good idea to RSVP. Some may require reservations. For additional synagogue contact information, see page 24. Chanukah is Sunday night, December 2 through Monday, December 10. Saturday, November 17 • Dinner Dance; 6:30 PM; Chinese buffet; entertainment by Rich Kaufman Productions; BYOB; babysitting available; sponsored by the Men’s Club; Beth Am Shalom, 1235 State Highway 70, Lakewood; $20; 732-363-2800 Sunday, November 18 • Interfaith Thanksgiving Service; 4:00 PM; bring non-perishable food items for donation to a local food pantry; organized by the Brick Clergy Association including Temple Beth Or of Brick; being held at Visitation Roman Catholic Church, 730 Lynnwood Avenue, Brick; for information call TBO at 732-458-4700
Saturday-Thursday, December 8-20 • Documenting History Through Art with David Labkovski; Saturday, 7:00 PM – Gallery Opening and Cocktail Reception, $75; Sunday, 11:00 AM - Sholem Aleichem & His Characters Through Labkovski's Illustrations; Sunday, 1:00 PM – Paint Workshop entitled Hear About Labkovski's Life and Work Paint in His Style; pass for Sunday workshops for $40; weekend pass for all three events for $100; exhibit open Monday-Thursday, December 10-13 and Sunday-Thursday, December 16-20, 11:00 AM – 5:00 PM, $15, students with ID free; Congregation Ahavat Olam, 106 Windeler Road, Howell; 732-333-1299 or email artexhibit@cao-nj.org; see page 18 for more information
Friday, November 30 • New Member Shabbat – for new and prospective members; 8:00 PM; Congregation Ahavat Olam, 106 Windeler Road, Howell; 732-719-3500
Sunday, December 9 • Pancake Breakfast; 10:00 AM; sponsored by the Men’s Club; RSVP by December 6; Temple Beth Or, 200 Van Zile Road, Brick; 732-458-4700
Sunday, December 2 • Chanukah Candle Lighting for the First Night; 4:30 PM at The White Butterfly, 200 N. County Line Road, Jackson with Chabad of Jackson; bring winter gear items to be donated; 732-668-7702; see page 11 for details
Saturday, December 15 • A Whirlwind Tour of Emerging Jewish Communities Around the Globe with Rabbi Jerry and Bonita Nathan Sussman from Kulanu; 7:30 PM; dessert reception following; no charge; RSVP required by December 10; Temple Beth Or, 200 Van Zile Road, Brick; 732-458-4700; see page 18 for more information
Monday, December 3 • Chanukah Candle Lighting for the Second Night; 4:00 PM at Brick Township Municipal Building, 401 Chambers Bridge Road, Brick with Temple Beth Or; followed by a Chanukah Party at 5:00 PM at Temple Beth Or, 200 Van Zile Road, Brick; 732458-4700 • Chanukah Candle Lighting for the Second Night; 6:00 PM; Crestwood Village 6 Clubhouse, Whiting; bring a menorah, candles provided; coffee and snacks served; call Michael at 732-580-1039 Wednesday, December 5 • Chanukah Candle Lighting for the Fourth Night; 6:00 PM; Congregation B’nai Israel, 1488 Old Freehold Road, Toms River; 732-349-1244 Thursday, December 6 • Women’s Rosh Chodesh Program with Cantor Ruth Katz Green; 12:00 Noon; light lunch served; Congregation B’nai Israel, 1488 Old Freehold Road, Toms River; no charge; RSVP required; 732-349-1244
Monday, December 24 • Movie Night and Chinese Dinner; 5:00 PM; sponsored by the Men’s Club; kosher Chinese dinner and showing of the movie “The Traitor”; $18; RSVP required; Congregation B’nai Israel, 1488 Old Freehold Road, Toms River; no charge; RSVP required; 732-349-1244 For inclusion in this Jewish Journal Community Calendar and in the What’s Nu? eNewsletter, email the basic information to both the Jewish Federation Editorial Committee at jfoceditor@ocjf. org and to Beth Josephs at beth@ocjf.org. To receive the bi-weekly What’s Nu? eNewsletter as an email, send your request with your email address to Beth Josephs at beth@ocjf.org.
22 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
JEWISH FAMILY AND
&
changing lives...
Invites you to join us to
Laugh & Learn You'll be so glad you did! Wednesdays 1:00-2:30pm
www.ocjj.net
Thursdays 10:00-11:30am
Transportation is Available. Call 732-363-8010 to learn more.
&
Speakers Bureau Jewish Grandparenting Long Distance Grandparenting Two Faiths/One Family The Changing Face of the Jewish Family Marriage after Retirement “Love Conquers All” and Other Myths about Marriage Arguing and Making Up Domestic Violence/Emotional Abuse Stress and the Caregiver Are the Golden Years Golden? When Adult Children Return Your Special Needs Child Second Time Around Being Jewish in a Non-Jewish World What’s the Matter with Kids Today Handling Bias, Past and Present The Bills of Rights-Alive and Well The Jewish Family & Children’s Service speakers include: clinical social workers, retired educators, attorneys and business advisors. Speakers are available to come to your meeting. For more information contact Rita at 732-363-8010 or jfcs@ocjf.org
Redefining Happiness By Rosie Ehrenfeld, MSW Intern Jewish Family & Children’s Service
we cannot pinpoint a crucial component of who we are as individuals.
he pursuit of happiness follows us everywhere. There are happiness apps, happiness movements (i.e. positive psychology), and of course the media, which portrays it as the end all be all. Movies, songs, and books make us want to find happiness – or tell us we should want to find happiness – and implants this strong belief that we deserve to be happy.
So, what is true happiness and how can we attain it? An article I read in Psychology Today, called “The Pursuit of Happiness,” seems to be pretty spot on: “Neuroscientists, psychiatrists, behavioral economists, positive psychologists, and Buddhist monks all agree that it [happiness] is more like satisfied or content than "happy" in its strict bursting-with-glee sense. It has depth and deliberation to it. It encompasses living a meaningful life, utilizing your gifts and your time, living with thought and purpose. It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in. It's not joy, a temporary exhilaration, or even pleasure, that sensual rush – though a steady supply of those feelings course through those who seize each day.” (Flora, 2009)
T
Happiness is so embedded in the fabric of our society. Take all the fairytales we know, for example (at least the Disney versions, anyway). Each of them has a happy ending in which all of the loose ends are tied up and the characters, essentially, ride off into the sunset. And although as adults we might laugh at the facetiousness of it all, if we take a moment to search ourselves we might find that our very own beliefs about what constitutes happiness and our expectation of it strongly resembles these so-called childish notions, namely because they are so ingrained in our societal beliefs from the get-go. Do we not believe that money would solve all of our problems? The famous words in Pirkei Avot, “eizehu ashir hasamei’ach b’chelko – Who is wealthy? He who is happy with his share” seems to translate for some of us to mean “Who is happy? He who is wealthy…” And is it not the case that some of us believe we would be happy if only we found love – because of course, marriage fixes all of our problems? So much of the time we tell ourselves, “If only I had [fill in the blank] I would be happy.” Research has shown, however, that with the exception of loss, we tend to bounce back to our baseline level of happiness, whatever happens to us – good or bad. As a result of being bombarded from every corner, we are so fixated on happiness – we are obsessed with the idea of being happy. Everything screams: This is what happiness looks like and here is how you get it. We develop rigid, fixed ideas about happiness and perfection and base it off of what we have been taught, so that the line between what we think happiness is and what genuinely creates happiness for us, as individuals, starts to blur. This further complicates our journey in finding happiness and meaning and we may find ourselves more unhappy than ever, especially since
And of course, the ways in which we experience all that the author describes is subjective, as it should be. This Thanksgiving Day, as we stop and think about what we’re grateful for, let it clue us in to what makes us genuinely happy as individuals. It behooves us to think about our own, subjective definition of happiness and ponder the ways we can practically attain it. Perhaps, in doing so, we might even discover the ways in which we have already attained much of it.
Keeping the Promise
Are you caring for an older adult? Learn to manage the stress
Get practical information. Find new community resources. Call Jewish Family & Children’s Service 732.363.8010 for additional information Rita Sason, LCSW
The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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CHILDREN'S SERVICE
...making a difference
&
The two Senior Discussion Groups of the Jewish Family and Children’s Service of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County recently had special presentations on October 24 and October 25. Tthe topic was “A Body in Motion Stays in Motion: The Importance of Exercise and Recreation.” The groups did an activity called “Exercise Bingo” where the group works together to win a Bingo on a large Bingo board. The presentation was led by Kaitlin Feola from HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital of Toms River.
with Congregation B'nai Israel
Grief After Loss You Don't Have to Face it Alone Mondays 1:00-2:30pm Congregation B'nai Israel 1488 Old Freehold Road Toms River, NJ 08753 For more information, or to register, contact: JFCS 732-363-8010
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Seniors on the Move We have a new mini bus! To place a display ad, contact the Jewish Journal at 732-534-5959 or email lunj@optonline.net for rates, sizes and placement.
Teddy Abramson recently celebrated his birthday with the Thursday Senior Group of the Jewish Family and Children’s Service of the Jewish Federation of Ocean County.
Jewish Federation of Ocean County is now on Facebook Like us at: www.facebook.com/jewishocean
You can still help Jewish Family & Children's Service to move not just people but the hearts of our Seniors. Donate today to keep the wheels turning. www.jewishoceancounty.org 732-363-8010
24 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
SYNAGOGUES
CHABAD
ORTHODOX
CHABAD JEWISH CENTER OF JACKSON 645 Cross Street Lakewood, NJ 08701 Rabbi Shmuel Naparstek 732-523-5112 Email: info@chabadofjackson.com www.ChabadofJackson.com
CONGREGATION SONS OF ISRAEL 590 Madison Avenue Lakewood, NJ 08701 Rabbi Shmuel Tendler 732-364-2230 Chazan Zelig Freilich
CHABAD JEWISH CENTER OF TOMS RIVER 2001 Church Road Toms River, NJ 08753 Rabbi Moshe Gourarie 732-349-4199 Email: rabbi@chabadtomsriver.com www.chabadtomsriver.com
CONSERVATIVE CONGREGATION AHAVAT OLAM 106 Windeler Road Howell, NJ 07731 Rabbi Cantor David Amar Rabbi Emeritus Michael Klein 732-719-3500 email: office@cao-nj.org www.cao-nj.org CONGREGATION B'NAI ISRAEL 1488 Old Freehold Road Toms River, NJ 08753 Rabbi William Gershon Hazzan Steven Walvick 732-349-1244 Email: info@cbitr.org www.cbitr.org TEMPLE BETH OR 200 Van Zile Road Brick, NJ 08724 Rabbi Robert B. Rubin Rabbi Emeritus Dr. Robert E. Fierstien 732-458-4700 Email: templebethorbrick@gmail.com www.templebethorbrick.org
CONGREGATION SONS OF ISRAEL 401 Park Ave. Lakewood, NJ 08701 Rabbi Baruch Ber Yoffe 732-367-3116
REFORM
www.ocjj.net
SHABBAT AND HOLIDAY CANDLE LIGHTING IN LAKEWOOD Friday, November 16 Friday, November 23 Friday, November 30 Friday, December 7 Friday, December 14 Friday, December 21
4:21 PM 4:17 PM 4:14 PM 4:13 PM 4:14 PM 4:17 PM
Friday, December 28
4:21 PM
UNAFFILIATED JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER OF LBI 2411 Long Beach Blvd. Spray Beach, NJ 08008 Rabbi Michael Jay 609-492-4090 Email: jccoflbi@gmail.com www.jccoflbi.org
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who hallows us with mitzvot, commanding us to kindle the light of Shabbat.
CHANUKAH CANDLE LIGHTING NIGHTS OF DECEMBER 2 - 9 Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who hallows us with mitzvot, commanding us to kindle the light of Chanukah. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has done miracles for our ancestors in those days in this season. (On first night) Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who has kept us alive and sustained us and enabled us to reach this moment in time.
CONGREGATION DOV “V” SCHMUEL 1143 West County Road Lakewood, NJ 08701 732-367-1999
Please consider contributing to: • Friends of JFCS • The Holocaust Survivors’ Special Fund matched with $33 for every $1 donated!
BETH AM SHALOM 1235 State Highway 70 Lakewood, NJ 08701 Rabbi Stephen D. Gold Cantor Arlyne Unger 732-363-2800 Email: office@bethamshalom.org www.bethamshalom.org CONGREGATION SHA'AREY HA-YAM 333 N. Main Street (Route 9) Manahawkin, NJ 08050 Rabbi Joshua Goldstein Helen Cocuzza, President 609-978-8653 Email: rabjogo@aol.com www.reformjewishcommunity.org
Support Our Ocean County Holocaust Survivors and Seniors
• The Seniors Lunch Program Special Fund It is easy to donate a little each month, to make a big impact! • Go online to www. jewishoceancounty.org. • Send a check, use your credit card, transfer stock. • Call the office and talk with our staff. • Bring in your Tzedakah box. We will count it for you. • Consider making a monthly gift to support these important programs. Jewish Federation of Ocean County 1235A Route 70, Lakewood, NJ 08701 732-363-0530
W W W. B E L KO F F G O L D S T E I N F U N E R A L C H A P E L . C O M
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Consultation & estimates without obligation Funded pre-planned funerals with guaranteed pricing Residential visits available Martin Goldstein
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World Wide Arrangements and Shipping 1218
The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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26 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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ROSALIE'S REEL REVIEW
Aida’s Secrets
2017 (Germany, Israel, Canada, with subtitles) Available: Amazon, Netflix, Ocean County Library
A
fter the Holocaust, a great scattering of displaced people followed the war years: parents lost track of children; wives lost track of husbands; siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents were missing. Too often survivors were bonded to nothing and related to no one. Directed by Israeli brothers Alon and Shaul Schwarz, this movie presents a small tale about some very ordinary people. There is Izak Szewelewicz, a 68-year-old gardener, now living in Israel; his brother Shep, 67, who was visually impaired from birth and blind most of his life (nearly all of which he has lived in Winnipeg, Canada); their mother Aida, 90, who lives in a Quebec nursing home; and their father, Grisza, who died in 2008. The father was Jewish; the mother was not, both were born in Poland and both found themselves in the Bergen-Belsen displaced persons camp after the war, where Izak and Shep were born. Aida gave the boys up when they were still babies.
By Rosalie Donadio (Congregation Sha’arey Ha-Yam)
Izak’s adoptive parents encouraged him to reach out to her, and they did form a bond, but she refused to talk about his father. With the aid of a genealogical researcher, Alon and Shaul lead Izak to answers which would also lead them to Shep, the Winnipeg based brother whose existence comes as a welcome surprise. Once reunited, Izak and Shep find that the truth of their parentage is more complicated. As Izak and Shepsel try to assemble their family history, questions abound. Friends of Aida recount bits of background she had shared but Aida, at 89, remains evasive: She doesn’t recall that man with her and the boys in that Bergen-Belsen photo; she’s uncertain as to why she moved to Canada without Shepsel and his father. The film is called “Aida’s Secrets” for good reason: Shep and Izak may only be half-brothers; Aida and Grisza might never have been married; Grisza, we learn, was something of a scoundrel, a serial woma-
nizer who fattened his purse in the black market that took hold in the displacement camp. And Aida, who never fully explains why she surrendered her two sons, may have had a third one. Aida’s Secrets ends gratifyingly enough: Shep and Izak appear to have bonded as brothers. The paper trail does locate a third brother, living in Canada. But it’s a big country and 36 million people call it home and just which of them traces his line to a small woman with a complicated past is not clear. And Aida remains an enigma. The Holocaust, 70 years gone, is still an unhealed wound and that may change as the last of the survivors die, even if the remaining tapestries of families’ histories can never be rewoven. But our species has not remotely lost the capacity to commit that kind of atrocity again as attested to the events of Saturday October 27, 2018 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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28 The Jewish Journal - December 2018 / Kislev-Tevet 5779
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