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CULTURE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9, 2014 www.ufvcascade.ca
What is normal?
A journey through mental health and self discovery
For the past six months, Gabriella, a mented her counselling journey on
By Katherine Gibson Gabriella’s experience When Gabriella walked into The Cascade’s office in early October 2013 to discuss her mental health journey with a journalist, she didn’t know what to expect. Feeling apprehensive but excited, Gabriella came into the experience with an open mind and the desire to share her story with others. Willing to talk about her life and struggle with anxiety, Gabriella hoped her UFV counselling experience would not only bring insight, but also help other struggling students find the courage to come forward and seek help. The Canadian Mental Health Association reports that a staggering 49 per cent of those who suffer from anxiety have never gone to see a doctor, a fact that is caused largely by the stigma that is associated with mental health. Although there have been recent campaigns to lessen this negative perception — there are organizations like To Write Love on Her Arms vocally advocating for mental health awareness — this stigma still remains. Gabriella is no stranger to these stigmas. In her experience it is the pressure to appear “normal” that pushes people to keep their anxiety hidden behind closed doors. “Everybody wants to be normal — what is normal? I think we believe really successful people must have their heads on straight, but it’s just what they show to [the world],” Gabriella says. “There’s a whole different presence that you put on when you come out in public — everything you’re feeling is very much hidden behind [closed] doors. “Selfies, for instance: how many times do you take a billion selfies and then post the good one — the one that makes you look less like you? There’s a huge filtering in how we present ourselves ... being unstable or revealing that you have unstable thoughts, it takes away from that façade of being perfect.” For Gabriella, meeting with UFV’s counsellors broke down some of these barriers. In fact, Gabriella realized very early on that her counselling sessions were not going to be anything like the stuffy therapy sessions depicted in the movies. Ga-
briella was never once was asked to lie on a leather couch and bare her soul while a counsellor held a clipboard, noting her deepest darkest fears. No, Gabriella came to learn that counselling is a “conversation,” a dialogue between two equal individuals. “[The counsellor] takes notes … but the clipboard isn’t something that’s scary,” she says. “They weren’t hiding their notes from me. You’re not sitting there wondering, ‘what are [they] writing about me?’ It’s all very open. “And it’s not like we’re Facebook friends or anything like that, but when I’m in there, [the counsellor ’s] present with me. We laugh and she does some of the same [exercises] with me as well — like the breathing. [They] do feel like a counsellor because [they] know more than you, in terms of knowledge and experience — but you just feel like they’re a cool teacher.” Maintaining an open dialogue, each session progressively focused more of Gabriella’s own commitment to self-discovery. Asked to do everything from breathing exercises to visualizing a painful childhood memory, Gabriella reflects that the process was sometimes frustrating. She had initially expected the counselling staff to simply tell her what was “wrong with her,” but Gabriella now recognizes the importance and power of having been guided to pursue insight somewhat on her own. “It was a surprise and it was almost frustrating at times: I wanted to say, ‘just tell me what’s wrong with me and what I need to do.’ But when someone tells you something, they might not be able to tell you the same way you would tell yourself,” she says. “The self-discovery [approach] is nice because you feel more accomplished as well — you yourself are discovering things, rather than someone just saying, ‘This is what’s wrong with you.’” For Gabriella these last six months have been about more than just facing her anxiety — they have been about gaining perspective and finding courage in knowing that her story has the potential to positively impact other students struggling with similar issues.
through a series of weekly blogs. As th “When I go through the blogs from the very beginning and read through them, it’s really interesting. For myself, it’s helping me understand things seeing my journey as a whole. “It’s like studying. I study better when I try to explain things to people, and so I feel like I’ve learned so much more just by trying to explain and decipher my [anxiety]. It’s kind of like [these interviews] have helped me study my brain. Although opting not to take summer courses, Gabriella will be back and UFV in the fall, eager and ready to not only continue her education, but also go back to her counselling sessions. As Gabriella notes, these sessions have given her the tools to face the situations that cause her to feel anxious — an enhanced selfawareness she believes will continue to help her cope with the stresses of university life. And while this process has brought with it a change in her perspective, Gabriella still maintains that dealing with her anxiety will be a process she will face for her entire life. “Just being able to just let things ‘be,’ I think is the main thing, being able to let things take their own course. And that goes back to everything (what grades I get or if something terrible happens to me) — I’ll be able to learn how to move through that,” Gabriella says. “Obviously I still struggle with it, it’s not going to disappear — but I’m much better with that. For now, the blogs and counselling sessions will stop as Gabriella takes time to refresh and get ready for the fall semester. However, the process of not only going to UFV’s counsellors, but also sharing her experience with the entire student population is one she will not soon forget. “You interviewed me, but that was my choice,” Gabriella concludes. “For other people, they can choose not to share; you can choose to do with the process what you want. [For me] it’s been nice just to have someone to listen to me … It’s been cool to talk and have someone care enough to write my thoughts down.”
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end, she looks back on the
“Everybody wants to be normal — what is normal? I think we believe really successful people must have their heads on straight, but it’s just what they show to [the world]”