Family Matters
It’s All
relative By Makala James
SIBLINGS HAVE THE LONGEST-LASTING RELATIONSHIP AMONG THE MANY THAT PEOPLE WILL DEVELOP IN THEIR LIFE. They are raised together, grow together, and experience life together. The sibling relationship is even longer lasting than that of a child, spouse, or parent. It’s no surprise, then, that according to a large study by Lynn K. White in the Oxford Journal, two-thirds of adults with siblings said that a brother or sister was their best friend. “Even though my brother Denny is eight years older than me, we have always been very close,” said Amy James, high school senior. “Even before I was born, he was so excited to have a little sister that he spent his own money to buy a dress for me. He always took time to play with me and let me boss him around.” As children, siblings are in direct contact with each other every day. It’s easy to maintain a friendship under those circumstances. When living apart, it takes more of an effort to maintain a close bond. “After Denny moved out of the house, we haven’t been able to talk as much as we used to,” said James. “Distance makes it more difficult to stay close, but I still go to him when I need honest advice. He will always be my big brother and one of my best friends.” Traditionally, a sibling is defined as two or more people that share at least one parent. That definition may also extend to include adopted and even foster siblings. No one knows this better than Mary Rudisaile-Coleman, a teacher at Lake Pointe Academy in Granbury. Mary grew up surrounded by eight siblings. Only two of those siblings were born from her same two parents. Even so, no difference was made between full, half, or adopted siblings. “The majority of us were all within five years of age, living under one roof,” said Rudisaile-Coleman. “It was like a dormitory. To us, we have never been anything but a family.”
Rudisaile-Coleman became close with her new sister, Lori. They understood the background behind their combined families and loved each other more dearly because of it. “Now Lori lives in New Mexico and I live in Texas, but it never seems like time has passed when we’re together,” said RudisaileColeman. “All of the siblings are spread out, but we keep in touch with a big group text. We always keep each other in our thoughts and prayers.” Of course, not all siblings get along. Fighting can take place at all ages. Fighting between two friends often leads to a disintegration in the relationship. In the book, Sibling Relationships Across the Lifespan, Victor G. Cicirelli, gives a little more hope to siblings. He writes that siblings are quicker to forgive because they are ascribed rather than earned. In other words, siblings are more likely to revitalize a strained relationship due to shared genetics. In my own sibling relationship, my younger sister, Kami, is the family storyteller. We often find ourselves laughing uncontrollably at long-forgotten childhood dramatics, and questioning the validity of unflattering epics that no one but Kami seems to remember. But Kami and I are very different people.Our many differences may seem drastic to a stranger, but a closer observation will show that, at the core, we share many similar beliefs. We understand, accept, and love each other for exactly who we are. As one of the longest-lasting family connections a person will experience, siblings should be treasured. Proverbs 17:17 said, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Despite differences and distances, it’s important to nurture the sibling relationship. It is a friendship unlike any other.
Makala James is a freelance writer and teaches music at Mountain Valley Studios.
14 | FLAME Winter 2016