Half and Half

Page 1

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

half & half

8

9

searching for a mestiza hero in Yay Panlilio's "The Crucible"


11

10


Because

of

medium

the

of

creative

nature

this

license

and

project, has

been

taken in the presentation of In

1969,

the

students

at

publication

intention

of

UCLA

Gidra

founded

with

spotlighting

the

the

Asian-

American (a bit of a radical term at the

time–”American”

Black was

or

white)

part

of

students

a

wave

for

departments13 , going

Duke). out

Many

commercial as

university

the

nation

ethic

studies

movement

that’s

(including

their

self-published,

zines.

Zines

role

at

information

papers–which

significant

This

of

today

got

through

know

a

on

meant

12 experience.

across

organizing

still

mostly

also

in

non-

we

now

played

a

Third-Wave

feminism, most famously through the “riot

14

grrrl”

movement.

Anzaldúa, writer

a

whose

bridged book

Mexican-American theory

consciousness"

Gloria

I

will

scholarship

of

"mestiza

draw and

Borderlands/La

on,

art

in

Frontera.

also her The

historical precedence of zines as a tool

for

political

community education,

expression

of

(particularly aspects)

organizing, and

one’s the

made

radical identity

marginalized

it

the

perfect

medium for this project, which itself bridges history own

themes and

search

of

Asian-American

feminism for

alongside

personal

my

identity

within the story of Colonel Yay.

several the

primary

cover

Colonel

is

Yay

sources a

photo

layered

(ex: of with

images of descriptions of her found in newspaper articles). However, this is still a work of historical

research

(I

promise!), so all sources are noted

and

proper

citations

can be found in the back of this zine.


The original pitch for this project was an examination of the origins and popularity of the skin-whitening industry 15

in Filipina/o culture, inspired by experiences within my own family. I am mestiza, which literally refers to being mixedrace, but is commonly used within Filipina/o culture to refer to any Filipina/o with a light skin tone, something that has historically been treated as aspirational within mainstream Filipina/o culture–and among my relatives. Elaine Laforteza argues that this racialization (and racialized

hierarchy)

is

enabled

by

a

Filipina/o

cultural 16

construct Unlike

that

the

she

refers

to

one-dimensional

westernized

places

like

as

“mestiza/o

“whiteness”

the

United

whiteness”.

we

think

States,

of

in

mestiza/o

17

whiteness is specifically mixed-race. Laforteza argues that the

position

of

mestiza/os

at

the

top

of

the

Filipina/o

racial hierarchy is a consequence of “colonial mentality”, a cultural

deference

to

‘western’

power

and

ways

of

existence due to long histories of Spanish colonial control of the Philippines and U.S. imperialism, which she states have

“reduced

dependency.”

the

Philippines

to

a

state

of

colonial

18

Skin-whitening

products

have

been

prevalent

in

Filipina/o culture for decades, promising Filipina/os (mostly Filipinas) heightened beauty and influence. These ads from 19

Filipina/o national publications, one from 1939

and one

from 2003,20 promise allure to consumers–the 2003 ad’s copy translates to “More white, more kissable!”.

The

prevalence

consistently

in

particularly

colonization.

products to

recent

scholarship

countries–the

article,

these

attributed

mentality”

21

of

“colonial scholarship,

from

sources In

a

2008

Filipina

is

western

of Marie

the Claire

actress-turned-

psychologist calls out this phenomenon, stating

“We

can’t

attribute

[skin

color

bias] solely to colonial mentality. Look at Japan–extremely

nationalistic.

They

like

their own. They’ve never been colonized. They have fair skin. And yet, they still use whitening products. So it’s hard to say it’s [due to] colonial mentality. It’s more deeply rooted, I believe.”


30

a n n o a d n a n M o d Ma 26

"The fierce dignity of Filipino women has been subordinated so successfully that one would have to delve five hundred years into the past to begin reclaiming it."

23

28

22

29

27

34

Whore

[I [I finally finally understand] understand] 32

31

33

40

24


41

George Paul Meiu refers to colonialism and sexuality as intricately intertwined processes, saying, “The expansion of Western European colonial powers throughout the nineteenth century offered scientists and moralists an important source of “knowledge,” with which to describe, classify, and eventually reform the various intimate practices and desires

40

of non-European populations...By 35

classifying the intimate desires and 36 Trying to form an identity outside of this dichotomy, though,

bodily pleasures of the colonized as

can present a catch-22.

“sex,” colonials could prove that these 37

deviated from bourgeois standards of

35

In a study of Filipina domestic

workers' experiences in Hong Kong, Nicole Constable lays 39

out this conflict: "In their attempts to dispel the widespread

morality and thus required their

notion

‘enlightened’ intervention and reform.”

workers

Prior to Spanish colonization,

of

Filipina

often

find

rampant

sexuality,

them-selves

Filipina

arguing

in

their employers impose on them."

39

equals–many were even spiritual or political leaders. It was Spanish

42

normalized female submission, which subsequently led to Spanish-blooded mestizas serving as a cultural symbol of “proper”, demure Filipina femininity. 37

More “foreign”–often meaning brown– 38

Filipinas, were hyper-sexualized, seen as “savage”, necessitating discipline from the “civilized” west. rule, a Madonna/whore

Under U.S. way of

thinking about Filipinas solidified. In many ways, western stereotypes continue to perpetuate this oppressive dichotomy. Even today, Filipina

Caught in this struggle, many modern Filipinas have forged resistance

women in westernized societies are

movements by

often thought of as either nurses or

acknowledging and

mail-order brides, leaving little room for complexity–or humanity.

favor

of,

or

unintentionally supporting, the forms of self-discipline that

36

Filipina/o society treated women as

ideologies that first introduced

domestic

celebrating complex forms of womxnhood and venerating Filipina heroes, especially those who resisted colonial rule.


what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat doesdoes it mean to beto mestiza? it mean be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? does it mean to be mestiza whatwhat does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiz what does it mean to be mesti what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be what does it mean to be mestiza?mestiz what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat does does it mean to beto mestiza? it mean be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to mestiza? be mesti what does it mean to be whatwhat does itdoes mean to beto mestiza? what does itit mean mean to bebe mestiza? mestiza? what does it mean mestiza? what does to it be mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza? whatdoes doesititmean meantotobebemestiza? mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza?


María Clara +


the Filipina ideal 44

In 1887, Filipino nationalist José Rizal published seminal

what

would

novel,

Originally

Noli

written

become

Me

in

his

Tangere.

Spanish,

In his famous letter “To the Young Women of Malolos”, Rizal wrote his 48

support for a group of young women

the

pushing

for

access

to

higher

52

novel follows a young Filipino named

education, so many modern scholars

Juan Crisostomo Ibarra who returns

believe that he championed Filipina

to

resistance

the

Philippines,

after

years

and

that

he

never

studying in Europe, to find his father

intended for María Clara to become

has died in prison after being

the national ideal.

accused

of

Catholic

subversion

priest.

The

by

novel

a

was

"Even "Even

though though

María María

Clara Clara

written as a satirical account of

conceived conceived in in a a novel novel initially initially

Filipina/o

meant meant

to to

society society

and and

life

colonialism,

49

originally

under

so

its

seen

as

Spanish

content as

was

incendiary

and garnered Rizal the reputation of

a

radical

However, came

as

revolutionary.

Spanish

to

an

colonialism

end

and

the

critique critique

Regardless,

was was

feminist

María

colonial colonial

Filipino

for for

100

María María

Filipina Carmen

Nakpil

Clara

called

“the

greatest

misfortune that has befallen

oppression oppression in in order order to to advocate advocate independence, independence,

1956

writer

Guerrero

Philippine Philippine

Spanish Spanish

in

Clara Clara

women

years.”

Guerrero

and and thus thus Noli Noli Me Me Tangere Tangere cannot cannot

in

last

Ironically,

53

is

the

the

sister

of

Leon Maria Guerrero, Rizal's

serve serve as as tools tools of of

translator who, in writing the

Philippines found itself fighting for

criticism criticism for for the the Philippines Philippines during during

English version of the novel

sovereignty

and and after after the the 1960s 1960s because because the the

changed the word "mestiza"

Marcos Marcos government government

to

against

the

United

States, Rizal’s work began to be interpreted

as

“patriotism”,

height of Philippine citizenry.

the

the

embraced embraced her her image." image."

the

government “Rizal

Law”,

Filipina/o

passed which

implementation work

into

all

51

curriculums. Tangere

As

(and

Filibusterismo)

its

the daughter of a native Filipina and a Spanish

man.

Rizal's

heroine

in

school

Spanish colonialism is not lost, as Leila

Noli

Me

sequel,

El

oppressive

love

interest

Clara, in

the

“proper”

novel

Pandy

of

a

about

points

project

embodied

to

nature

colonialism, 45

mestiza resisting

out:

“Even

of

ideal by

a

critique

the

Spanish

femininity

woman

who

is is

of

55

novel, became the definition of

irony

though the novel was conceived as a

definition of “proper” Filipino María

The

a

C.

nationalist

Ibarra’s

became

Grace

the

nationalism,

of

María Clara is depicted as a mestiza,

the

required

of

conflation

54

45

1956,

a

"Filipina",

the two.

50

In

word

solidifying

46

European 47

Filipino

womanhood.

María

ancestry.”

Clara

is

docile,

In

personality,

loving,

almost

saint-like. When Filipina women began to be compared to this impossible standard (in the 1930s, politicians invoked Maria Clara’s docility as a reason that Filipinas should not be allowed 56

to vote

), they began to feel hostility towards the character and all she represented.


can mestiza mean strong?

58

57


Before she was a guerrilla hero, Colonel Yay was Valeria Corpus of Auburn, California. Shortly after graduating from high school, she married a mining engineer from the Philippines and obtained a 59

passport to accompany him.

In the Philippines, Yay became a staff reporter for the Philippine Herald. She garnered a reputation as a fearless, relentless journalist - in a 1993 speech, Philippines president Fidel V. Ramos claimed that Yay would "climb the windows outside 60

Malacañang...to get scoops."

When the

Japanese occupied Manila in the early 1940s, Yay shifted her journalism chops to radio, becoming a commentator for the Japanese (only to give covert information to the Filipino military, which eventually 61

When The Crucible was first published

landed her in a Japanese prison camp). After escaping from the prison camp, Yay joined

in 1950, in included a foreward from

a group of guerrillas led by Marcos V. Agustin,

American journalist Kate Holliday.

better known as Colonel Marking. Her 1950

63

Targeting the book at American

autobiography, The Crucible, is an account of her

audiences, Holliday lauds Yay's mixed-

time with the guerrillas, detailing their conflicts

race/mestiza heritage-she's foreign

with the Japanese as well as her own internal

enough for her story to be intriguing,

conflicts and developments, including the

but familiar enough to be palatable.

blossom of her relationship with Marking (whom

She celebrates Yay's background,

she later married). By all (pro-American)

emphasizing how much of an asset

accounts, Yay was heroic. As one reviewer writes

her "blended" background was. This

in a contemporary review of The Crucible:

intro was the first thing I read about

"Through three years of hide-and-seek

this book, so I went in expecting-and

fighting, Col. Yay did the job of a strong and

very much hoping for an outright "Filipina empowerment" narrative.

brave man-all the while living a woman's existence-in love with her commanding 62

officer, whose wife she became." Personality-wise, Yay seemed to be the opposite of the María Clara mestiza-she had a complicated relationship with motherhood and domesticity, she was confrontational and saw value in conflict rather than docility, she was more focused on her career and duty than love, and she often talked back to the man who would become her husband. After learning the extent of the damage the María Clara stereotype had done to Filipina women, this warrior seemed to be exactly the mestiza hero I was hoping to find.

64


In her burgeoning relationship with Marking,

“Filipinos

die

saying

as

was

not

for

love”

is

“Americans

as

true

are

a

Yay struggles to comprehend the depth of Marking's

free.”

feelings

for

her.

On

multiple

Add a subheading

occasions, Yay seems confused or apathetic

It

his It

love

was

they

mine"

doubted.

when

Marking

conflates

their

personal

65

relationship

and

the

matters

of

the

organization (of which they were essentially co-leaders after Marking gave her the rank of "Colonel"). Prior to the start of the book,

"I

was

shot

surprised,

me,

but

not

because do

with

because love

he

had

had

not

nothing

66

she had "long separated"

to

67

from her first

husband, Eduardo Panlilio. It is clear that her personal dreams, values, and missions take

justice."

precedence

over

those

of

her

romantic

partners, a deviation from the "traditional", subservient wife.

Yay

seems

relationship

to

have

with

a

the

complicated concept

of

motherhood. By the start of the book, Yay has three young children that she leaves with friends

when

she

goes

to

war.

She

"Henceforth the

“YAY

this

will

REGIMENT”

guerrilla

is

regiment

mother...who

in

be

known

honor

nursed

us,

of

and

our

called

beloved

comforted

us, 68

bawled

separated from them for years, and when she

writes

of

them,

it

is

brief

and

us

out,

and

loved

us

all

those

years."

usually

pertains to what they're doing in relation to the

guerrilla

efforts

(especially

Rae,

her

oldest). But among the guerrillas, she seems to

cautiously

take

on

a

maternal

role,

especially as her relationship with Marking deepens.

When

Yay

and

Marking

first

acknowledge their romantic connection, Yay says, "War was our marriage, the guerrillas our sons."

"I

was

times But

as

a

woman-not

when I

any

looked

old at

a

juicy

horse the

morsel,

looks

gaunt

but

like

faces

there

fresh in

the

are

meat. firelight 69

the

maternal

instinct

in

me

was

awakened."


Though she doesn't explicitly name it, Yay recounts multiple instances of physical and emotional abuse from Marking. While his “Marking, “Nothing.” knew pin

He

then

me

meant

that

there,

on

and

what

he

would

impulse

have

if

me

he

I

promotion of Yay to Colonel is often heralded

don’t?”

make might

baptized

no

issue

of

it,

me

on

the

flop

by

force.

The

yet

as a giant leap for feminism, it is clear that he

I

needs to have the ultimate authority in both

floor,

indignity

love and war. His violent outbursts increase as

I

70

pictured

angered

the pair's relationship deepens, and what's

me."

worse is that Yay, shrewd and self-aware as she is, is fully aware of what he might do to her, and actively fears it. She knows that her

Marking told

gritted

his

himself,

teeth.

“I

will

“When

I

am

command!

in

When

command,” there

is

resistance is a double-edged sword for

he

Marking-he loves her fighting spirit, but not

a

when it threatens his authority. As Filipina

71

command

to

be

given,

I

will

give

it!”

scholar Denise Cruz says, "Her accounts.. are difficult to reconcile with a book that wants to be read as a liberating story of a woman’s independence."

In

the

introduction

to

a

Crucible

published

in

examines

aspects

the

of

version

2010,

of

Denise

book

that

72

The Cruz

might

be

points of tension for the audience that weren't as controversial

at

the

time

of

publication-

particularly the narrative's racist rhetoric against

"When

Indigenous Filipina/os (the Dumagats) and the

tales,

Japanese, the target of the guerrilla's warfare.

bad

the I

Dumagats

shivered

enough

a

told

little.

resisting

the

us

some

Spooks. Japs

of

their

strange

Dear

God,

it

without

having

was the

73

Cruz suggests that Yay employs this vilification to

Dark

Ages

creep

up

and

jump

us."

appeal to an American audience, but also offers it as a reason The Crucible was out of print for nearly 50 years. At this point in the United States, there was little concept of an "Asian-American" identity

and

nationally

interracial

legalized

for

marriage another

wouldn't 17

be

years.

An

Asian perspective, even a pro-American one, fell short

to

were

dominating

place

the

in

myriad

the

white

culture.

war It

narratives

also

Asian-American

that

garnered

literary

no

canon

eventually rose because the canon was centered on

anti-American/more

narratives.

75

politically-resistant

"{Marking}fixed the

Jap,

even

it. if

Now he

he

was

would a

use

civilian

the

who

had 74

many

years

in

the

Philippines.

pliers

on

lived


what's the difference between "mixed" and "half-and-half"?

In my quest to find a mestiza role model, I found myself subjugating Yay to a hero/villain dichotomy. I had so badly wanted her to be this venerable resistance fighter, as the newspaper titles had framed her. I wanted her to be exclusively on the right side of history, someone to prove that the existence of the mestiza could be something good (rather than merely a perpetuating effect of colonial rule), and to me, I guess that meant being a perfect warrior, which was ultimately just the second side of the MarĂ­a Clara coin.

While war was "the crucible" for Yay, she herself became "the crucible" for me. Yay was a highly-intelligent, scrupulous journalistshe knew the implications of her words. In her choice to show herself as both a stubborn adversary and an abused subordinate to Marking, she captures the complex experience of so many women who loved and were devoted to their partners but recognized the bad in them, too, forging a kind of sisterly bond with women in her audience. She does this too in her descriptions of her relationship with motherhood-she is not always the "perfect" doting maternal figure to the guerrillas or her biological children that women, especially in this era, were often expected to be. This internal conflict is something many women struggle with to this day, but seeing openly published by a woman in the 1950s is something extraordinary. Yay presents her own "half-and-half" identity as an asset, as she believes it gives her a nuanced code of ethics that combines the best of the Philippines and the best of America. Her pride in her mixed76

race heritage is especially compelling for her time.

"You’re half angel and half devil, Marking. I love you for the good there is in you." 77

In her ability to bridge both sides of her heritage, she can dream of democracy and independence for both the Philippines and the United States, her dedication to the war efforts doubly ardent in that she has a deeply-rooted, personal belief that both countries are worth fighting for. In her embrace of her mixed heritage and her complicated self, Yay may not have fit the "hero" role I'd tried to cast her in, but she was a clearer reflection of myself than any other historical figure


I argue that Yay's representation of herself in The Crucible reflects what Gloria Anzaldúa calls "mestiza consciousness"-a revolutionary mentality in which we break down dichotomies and start allowing for multifaceted thinking, instead of two sides standing in opposition to one another. Mestizas, Anzaldúa posits, are especially primed for this, our existences being an inherent straddling of borders, of living in not one side nor the other, but in-between. This, according to Anzaldúa, is what is necessary to imagine a better world.

The work of mestiza consciousness is to break down the subject/object duality that keeps her prisoner and to show in the flesh and through the images in her work how duality is transcended. The answer to the problem between the white race and the colored, between males and females, lies in healing the split that originates in the very foundation of our lives, our culture, our languages, our thoughts. A massive uprooting of dualistic thinking in the individual and collective consciousness is the beginning of a long struggle, but one that could, in our best hopes, bring us to the end of rape, of violence, of war.” -Gloria Anzaldúa 78

Sylvanna Falcon expands on Anzaldúa's work, as well as that of W.E.B Du Bois in his theory of "double consciousness" in her notion of a "mestiza double consciousness." 79 She argues that double consciousness, the notion that Black Americans live in "twoness"-having to look at oneself through their own eyes as well as 80

through the eyes of others -must be looked at through a gendered lens to fully analyze racism. She also argues that mestiza consciousness must be applied beyond the U.S.-Mexico borderlands (as I am doing in this project). A merging of the two theories, Falcon says, will "affirm the pluralities of borderland lives but will also lead us to complex analyses of racial injustice throughout the region that requires an expansion of our struggle against racism, in a transnational capacity." In the framework of mestiza double consciousness, racism anywhere becomes a collective struggle that everyone must fight against.

And while I believe that Yay Panlilio is, ultimately, heroic in her ability to straddle borders and evade dual-thinking, I think another crucial part of The Crucible, for me, was the depiction of a mestiza outside of that heroic framework, as someone who struggled and was flawed. Living in the contradictions can be the revolutionary act that Anzaldúa refers to, but it can also just be confusing to live in that liminal space. Lynda Barry's (a Filipina-American mestiza) One Hundred Demons reflects this well in her depictions of herself wanting desperately to feel she fit in somewhere, of wanting to be "good".

81


what was it all for?

I, I, like like Lynda Lynda Barry, Barry, have have

II realize realize now now that that II was was

often often

trying trying

found found

myself myself

to to

assuage assuage

my my

desperate desperate to to be be one one of of

own own for for having having the the most most

"the "the good good people." people."

"mestiza "mestiza whiteness", whiteness", and and

At At the the end end of of all all of of this, this, II

found found

myself myself

therefore therefore mestiza mestiza

the the privilege privilege

most most (and (and

wondering wondering why why II was was so so

even even just just white white privilege, privilege,

set set

at at least least in in the the US) US)

on on

"mestiza "mestiza

finding finding hero" hero"

in in

a a the the

in in my my family. family.

first first place place

I don't know what it means to have the blood-and more importantly, the skin-of colonizers and oppressors. I suppose I was hoping that if it meant resistance, meant being a race traitor, meant fighting injustice that I could feel better about myself.

If I found a good mestiza, that meant I could be a good mestiza.

I don't know if I found "good" mestizas. I don't know if such a thing exists. I know I've found complex human beings, both in Yay Panlilio and in myself. Perhaps that's more important.


acknowledgements Much gratitude to Dr. Tom Robisheaux and all the fellows and librarians involved the MicroWorlds lab this summerespecially my mentor, Martha Liliana Espinosa. I appreciate your belief in this project more than you know!

And of course, all of my love and gratitude to my family, especially my mom, Celia, and my grandparents, Teresita and Enrique. I am proud to be American, I am proud to be Filipina, I am proud to be mestiza, but most of all I am proud to be a Delgo, because of them.


notes & references







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