1
2
3
4
5
6
7
half & half
8
9
searching for a mestiza hero in Yay Panlilio's "The Crucible"
11
10
Because
of
medium
the
of
creative
nature
this
license
and
project, has
been
taken in the presentation of In
1969,
the
students
at
publication
intention
of
UCLA
Gidra
founded
with
spotlighting
the
the
Asian-
American (a bit of a radical term at the
time–”American”
Black was
or
white)
part
of
students
a
wave
for
departments13 , going
Duke). out
Many
commercial as
university
the
nation
ethic
studies
movement
that’s
(including
their
self-published,
zines.
Zines
role
at
information
papers–which
significant
This
of
today
got
through
know
a
on
meant
12 experience.
across
organizing
still
mostly
also
in
non-
we
now
played
a
Third-Wave
feminism, most famously through the “riot
14
grrrl”
movement.
Anzaldúa, writer
a
whose
bridged book
Mexican-American theory
consciousness"
Gloria
I
will
scholarship
of
"mestiza
draw and
Borderlands/La
on,
art
in
Frontera.
also her The
historical precedence of zines as a tool
for
political
community education,
expression
of
(particularly aspects)
organizing, and
one’s the
made
radical identity
marginalized
it
the
perfect
medium for this project, which itself bridges history own
themes and
search
of
Asian-American
feminism for
alongside
personal
my
identity
within the story of Colonel Yay.
several the
primary
cover
Colonel
is
Yay
sources a
photo
layered
(ex: of with
images of descriptions of her found in newspaper articles). However, this is still a work of historical
research
(I
promise!), so all sources are noted
and
proper
citations
can be found in the back of this zine.
The original pitch for this project was an examination of the origins and popularity of the skin-whitening industry 15
in Filipina/o culture, inspired by experiences within my own family. I am mestiza, which literally refers to being mixedrace, but is commonly used within Filipina/o culture to refer to any Filipina/o with a light skin tone, something that has historically been treated as aspirational within mainstream Filipina/o culture–and among my relatives. Elaine Laforteza argues that this racialization (and racialized
hierarchy)
is
enabled
by
a
Filipina/o
cultural 16
construct Unlike
that
the
she
refers
to
one-dimensional
westernized
places
like
as
“mestiza/o
“whiteness”
the
United
whiteness”.
we
think
States,
of
in
mestiza/o
17
whiteness is specifically mixed-race. Laforteza argues that the
position
of
mestiza/os
at
the
top
of
the
Filipina/o
racial hierarchy is a consequence of “colonial mentality”, a cultural
deference
to
‘western’
power
and
ways
of
existence due to long histories of Spanish colonial control of the Philippines and U.S. imperialism, which she states have
“reduced
dependency.”
the
Philippines
to
a
state
of
colonial
18
Skin-whitening
products
have
been
prevalent
in
Filipina/o culture for decades, promising Filipina/os (mostly Filipinas) heightened beauty and influence. These ads from 19
Filipina/o national publications, one from 1939
and one
from 2003,20 promise allure to consumers–the 2003 ad’s copy translates to “More white, more kissable!”.
The
prevalence
consistently
in
particularly
colonization.
products to
recent
scholarship
countries–the
article,
these
attributed
mentality”
21
of
“colonial scholarship,
from
sources In
a
2008
Filipina
is
western
of Marie
the Claire
actress-turned-
psychologist calls out this phenomenon, stating
“We
can’t
attribute
[skin
color
bias] solely to colonial mentality. Look at Japan–extremely
nationalistic.
They
like
their own. They’ve never been colonized. They have fair skin. And yet, they still use whitening products. So it’s hard to say it’s [due to] colonial mentality. It’s more deeply rooted, I believe.”
30
a n n o a d n a n M o d Ma 26
"The fierce dignity of Filipino women has been subordinated so successfully that one would have to delve five hundred years into the past to begin reclaiming it."
23
28
22
29
27
34
Whore
[I [I finally finally understand] understand] 32
31
33
40
24
41
George Paul Meiu refers to colonialism and sexuality as intricately intertwined processes, saying, “The expansion of Western European colonial powers throughout the nineteenth century offered scientists and moralists an important source of “knowledge,” with which to describe, classify, and eventually reform the various intimate practices and desires
40
of non-European populations...By 35
classifying the intimate desires and 36 Trying to form an identity outside of this dichotomy, though,
bodily pleasures of the colonized as
can present a catch-22.
“sex,” colonials could prove that these 37
deviated from bourgeois standards of
35
In a study of Filipina domestic
workers' experiences in Hong Kong, Nicole Constable lays 39
out this conflict: "In their attempts to dispel the widespread
morality and thus required their
notion
‘enlightened’ intervention and reform.”
workers
Prior to Spanish colonization,
of
Filipina
often
find
rampant
sexuality,
them-selves
Filipina
arguing
in
their employers impose on them."
39
equals–many were even spiritual or political leaders. It was Spanish
42
normalized female submission, which subsequently led to Spanish-blooded mestizas serving as a cultural symbol of “proper”, demure Filipina femininity. 37
More “foreign”–often meaning brown– 38
Filipinas, were hyper-sexualized, seen as “savage”, necessitating discipline from the “civilized” west. rule, a Madonna/whore
Under U.S. way of
thinking about Filipinas solidified. In many ways, western stereotypes continue to perpetuate this oppressive dichotomy. Even today, Filipina
Caught in this struggle, many modern Filipinas have forged resistance
women in westernized societies are
movements by
often thought of as either nurses or
acknowledging and
mail-order brides, leaving little room for complexity–or humanity.
favor
of,
or
unintentionally supporting, the forms of self-discipline that
36
Filipina/o society treated women as
ideologies that first introduced
domestic
celebrating complex forms of womxnhood and venerating Filipina heroes, especially those who resisted colonial rule.
what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat doesdoes it mean to beto mestiza? it mean be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? does it mean to be mestiza whatwhat does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiz what does it mean to be mesti what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be what does it mean to be mestiza?mestiz what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat does does it mean to beto mestiza? it mean be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to mestiza? be mesti what does it mean to be whatwhat does itdoes mean to beto mestiza? what does itit mean mean to bebe mestiza? mestiza? what does it mean mestiza? what does to it be mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza? whatdoes doesititmean meantotobebemestiza? mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? whatwhat does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza? what does it mean to be mestiza what does it mean to be mestiza?
María Clara +
the Filipina ideal 44
In 1887, Filipino nationalist José Rizal published seminal
what
would
novel,
Originally
Noli
written
become
Me
in
his
Tangere.
Spanish,
In his famous letter “To the Young Women of Malolos”, Rizal wrote his 48
support for a group of young women
the
pushing
for
access
to
higher
52
novel follows a young Filipino named
education, so many modern scholars
Juan Crisostomo Ibarra who returns
believe that he championed Filipina
to
resistance
the
Philippines,
after
years
and
that
he
never
studying in Europe, to find his father
intended for María Clara to become
has died in prison after being
the national ideal.
accused
of
Catholic
subversion
priest.
The
by
novel
a
was
"Even "Even
though though
María María
Clara Clara
written as a satirical account of
conceived conceived in in a a novel novel initially initially
Filipina/o
meant meant
to to
society society
and and
life
colonialism,
49
originally
under
so
its
seen
as
Spanish
content as
was
incendiary
and garnered Rizal the reputation of
a
radical
However, came
as
revolutionary.
Spanish
to
an
colonialism
end
and
the
critique critique
Regardless,
was was
feminist
María
colonial colonial
Filipino
for for
100
María María
Filipina Carmen
Nakpil
Clara
called
“the
greatest
misfortune that has befallen
oppression oppression in in order order to to advocate advocate independence, independence,
1956
writer
Guerrero
Philippine Philippine
Spanish Spanish
in
Clara Clara
women
years.”
Guerrero
and and thus thus Noli Noli Me Me Tangere Tangere cannot cannot
in
last
Ironically,
53
is
the
the
sister
of
Leon Maria Guerrero, Rizal's
serve serve as as tools tools of of
translator who, in writing the
Philippines found itself fighting for
criticism criticism for for the the Philippines Philippines during during
English version of the novel
sovereignty
and and after after the the 1960s 1960s because because the the
changed the word "mestiza"
Marcos Marcos government government
to
against
the
United
States, Rizal’s work began to be interpreted
as
“patriotism”,
height of Philippine citizenry.
the
the
embraced embraced her her image." image."
the
government “Rizal
Law”,
Filipina/o
passed which
implementation work
into
all
51
curriculums. Tangere
As
(and
Filibusterismo)
its
the daughter of a native Filipina and a Spanish
man.
Rizal's
heroine
in
school
Spanish colonialism is not lost, as Leila
Noli
Me
sequel,
El
oppressive
love
interest
Clara, in
the
“proper”
novel
Pandy
of
a
about
points
project
embodied
to
nature
colonialism, 45
mestiza resisting
out:
“Even
of
ideal by
a
critique
the
Spanish
femininity
woman
who
is is
of
55
novel, became the definition of
irony
though the novel was conceived as a
definition of “proper” Filipino María
The
a
C.
nationalist
Ibarra’s
became
Grace
the
nationalism,
of
María Clara is depicted as a mestiza,
the
required
of
conflation
54
45
1956,
a
"Filipina",
the two.
50
In
word
solidifying
46
European 47
Filipino
womanhood.
María
ancestry.”
Clara
is
docile,
In
personality,
loving,
almost
saint-like. When Filipina women began to be compared to this impossible standard (in the 1930s, politicians invoked Maria Clara’s docility as a reason that Filipinas should not be allowed 56
to vote
), they began to feel hostility towards the character and all she represented.
can mestiza mean strong?
58
57
Before she was a guerrilla hero, Colonel Yay was Valeria Corpus of Auburn, California. Shortly after graduating from high school, she married a mining engineer from the Philippines and obtained a 59
passport to accompany him.
In the Philippines, Yay became a staff reporter for the Philippine Herald. She garnered a reputation as a fearless, relentless journalist - in a 1993 speech, Philippines president Fidel V. Ramos claimed that Yay would "climb the windows outside 60
Malacañang...to get scoops."
When the
Japanese occupied Manila in the early 1940s, Yay shifted her journalism chops to radio, becoming a commentator for the Japanese (only to give covert information to the Filipino military, which eventually 61
When The Crucible was first published
landed her in a Japanese prison camp). After escaping from the prison camp, Yay joined
in 1950, in included a foreward from
a group of guerrillas led by Marcos V. Agustin,
American journalist Kate Holliday.
better known as Colonel Marking. Her 1950
63
Targeting the book at American
autobiography, The Crucible, is an account of her
audiences, Holliday lauds Yay's mixed-
time with the guerrillas, detailing their conflicts
race/mestiza heritage-she's foreign
with the Japanese as well as her own internal
enough for her story to be intriguing,
conflicts and developments, including the
but familiar enough to be palatable.
blossom of her relationship with Marking (whom
She celebrates Yay's background,
she later married). By all (pro-American)
emphasizing how much of an asset
accounts, Yay was heroic. As one reviewer writes
her "blended" background was. This
in a contemporary review of The Crucible:
intro was the first thing I read about
"Through three years of hide-and-seek
this book, so I went in expecting-and
fighting, Col. Yay did the job of a strong and
very much hoping for an outright "Filipina empowerment" narrative.
brave man-all the while living a woman's existence-in love with her commanding 62
officer, whose wife she became." Personality-wise, Yay seemed to be the opposite of the María Clara mestiza-she had a complicated relationship with motherhood and domesticity, she was confrontational and saw value in conflict rather than docility, she was more focused on her career and duty than love, and she often talked back to the man who would become her husband. After learning the extent of the damage the María Clara stereotype had done to Filipina women, this warrior seemed to be exactly the mestiza hero I was hoping to find.
64
In her burgeoning relationship with Marking,
“Filipinos
die
saying
as
was
not
for
love”
is
“Americans
as
true
are
a
Yay struggles to comprehend the depth of Marking's
free.”
feelings
for
her.
On
multiple
Add a subheading
occasions, Yay seems confused or apathetic
It
his It
love
was
they
mine"
doubted.
when
Marking
conflates
their
personal
65
relationship
and
the
matters
of
the
organization (of which they were essentially co-leaders after Marking gave her the rank of "Colonel"). Prior to the start of the book,
"I
was
shot
surprised,
me,
but
not
because do
with
because love
he
had
had
not
nothing
66
she had "long separated"
to
67
from her first
husband, Eduardo Panlilio. It is clear that her personal dreams, values, and missions take
justice."
precedence
over
those
of
her
romantic
partners, a deviation from the "traditional", subservient wife.
Yay
seems
relationship
to
have
with
a
the
complicated concept
of
motherhood. By the start of the book, Yay has three young children that she leaves with friends
when
she
goes
to
war.
She
"Henceforth the
“YAY
this
will
REGIMENT”
guerrilla
is
regiment
mother...who
in
be
known
honor
nursed
us,
of
and
our
called
beloved
comforted
us, 68
bawled
separated from them for years, and when she
writes
of
them,
it
is
brief
and
us
out,
and
loved
us
all
those
years."
usually
pertains to what they're doing in relation to the
guerrilla
efforts
(especially
Rae,
her
oldest). But among the guerrillas, she seems to
cautiously
take
on
a
maternal
role,
especially as her relationship with Marking deepens.
When
Yay
and
Marking
first
acknowledge their romantic connection, Yay says, "War was our marriage, the guerrillas our sons."
"I
was
times But
as
a
woman-not
when I
any
looked
old at
a
juicy
horse the
morsel,
looks
gaunt
but
like
faces
there
fresh in
the
are
meat. firelight 69
the
maternal
instinct
in
me
was
awakened."
Though she doesn't explicitly name it, Yay recounts multiple instances of physical and emotional abuse from Marking. While his “Marking, “Nothing.” knew pin
He
then
me
meant
that
there,
on
and
what
he
would
impulse
have
if
me
he
I
promotion of Yay to Colonel is often heralded
don’t?”
make might
baptized
no
issue
of
it,
me
on
the
flop
by
force.
The
yet
as a giant leap for feminism, it is clear that he
I
needs to have the ultimate authority in both
floor,
indignity
love and war. His violent outbursts increase as
I
70
pictured
angered
the pair's relationship deepens, and what's
me."
worse is that Yay, shrewd and self-aware as she is, is fully aware of what he might do to her, and actively fears it. She knows that her
Marking told
gritted
his
himself,
teeth.
“I
will
“When
I
am
command!
in
When
command,” there
is
resistance is a double-edged sword for
he
Marking-he loves her fighting spirit, but not
a
when it threatens his authority. As Filipina
71
command
to
be
given,
I
will
give
it!”
scholar Denise Cruz says, "Her accounts.. are difficult to reconcile with a book that wants to be read as a liberating story of a woman’s independence."
In
the
introduction
to
a
Crucible
published
in
examines
aspects
the
of
version
2010,
of
Denise
book
that
72
The Cruz
might
be
points of tension for the audience that weren't as controversial
at
the
time
of
publication-
particularly the narrative's racist rhetoric against
"When
Indigenous Filipina/os (the Dumagats) and the
tales,
Japanese, the target of the guerrilla's warfare.
bad
the I
Dumagats
shivered
enough
a
told
little.
resisting
the
us
some
Spooks. Japs
of
their
strange
Dear
God,
it
without
having
was the
73
Cruz suggests that Yay employs this vilification to
Dark
Ages
creep
up
and
jump
us."
appeal to an American audience, but also offers it as a reason The Crucible was out of print for nearly 50 years. At this point in the United States, there was little concept of an "Asian-American" identity
and
nationally
interracial
legalized
for
marriage another
wouldn't 17
be
years.
An
Asian perspective, even a pro-American one, fell short
to
were
dominating
place
the
in
myriad
the
white
culture.
war It
narratives
also
Asian-American
that
garnered
literary
no
canon
eventually rose because the canon was centered on
anti-American/more
narratives.
75
politically-resistant
"{Marking}fixed the
Jap,
even
it. if
Now he
he
was
would a
use
civilian
the
who
had 74
many
years
in
the
Philippines.
pliers
on
lived
what's the difference between "mixed" and "half-and-half"?
In my quest to find a mestiza role model, I found myself subjugating Yay to a hero/villain dichotomy. I had so badly wanted her to be this venerable resistance fighter, as the newspaper titles had framed her. I wanted her to be exclusively on the right side of history, someone to prove that the existence of the mestiza could be something good (rather than merely a perpetuating effect of colonial rule), and to me, I guess that meant being a perfect warrior, which was ultimately just the second side of the MarĂa Clara coin.
While war was "the crucible" for Yay, she herself became "the crucible" for me. Yay was a highly-intelligent, scrupulous journalistshe knew the implications of her words. In her choice to show herself as both a stubborn adversary and an abused subordinate to Marking, she captures the complex experience of so many women who loved and were devoted to their partners but recognized the bad in them, too, forging a kind of sisterly bond with women in her audience. She does this too in her descriptions of her relationship with motherhood-she is not always the "perfect" doting maternal figure to the guerrillas or her biological children that women, especially in this era, were often expected to be. This internal conflict is something many women struggle with to this day, but seeing openly published by a woman in the 1950s is something extraordinary. Yay presents her own "half-and-half" identity as an asset, as she believes it gives her a nuanced code of ethics that combines the best of the Philippines and the best of America. Her pride in her mixed76
race heritage is especially compelling for her time.
"You’re half angel and half devil, Marking. I love you for the good there is in you." 77
In her ability to bridge both sides of her heritage, she can dream of democracy and independence for both the Philippines and the United States, her dedication to the war efforts doubly ardent in that she has a deeply-rooted, personal belief that both countries are worth fighting for. In her embrace of her mixed heritage and her complicated self, Yay may not have fit the "hero" role I'd tried to cast her in, but she was a clearer reflection of myself than any other historical figure
I argue that Yay's representation of herself in The Crucible reflects what Gloria Anzaldúa calls "mestiza consciousness"-a revolutionary mentality in which we break down dichotomies and start allowing for multifaceted thinking, instead of two sides standing in opposition to one another. Mestizas, Anzaldúa posits, are especially primed for this, our existences being an inherent straddling of borders, of living in not one side nor the other, but in-between. This, according to Anzaldúa, is what is necessary to imagine a better world.
The work of mestiza consciousness is to break down the subject/object duality that keeps her prisoner and to show in the flesh and through the images in her work how duality is transcended. The answer to the problem between the white race and the colored, between males and females, lies in healing the split that originates in the very foundation of our lives, our culture, our languages, our thoughts. A massive uprooting of dualistic thinking in the individual and collective consciousness is the beginning of a long struggle, but one that could, in our best hopes, bring us to the end of rape, of violence, of war.” -Gloria Anzaldúa 78
Sylvanna Falcon expands on Anzaldúa's work, as well as that of W.E.B Du Bois in his theory of "double consciousness" in her notion of a "mestiza double consciousness." 79 She argues that double consciousness, the notion that Black Americans live in "twoness"-having to look at oneself through their own eyes as well as 80
through the eyes of others -must be looked at through a gendered lens to fully analyze racism. She also argues that mestiza consciousness must be applied beyond the U.S.-Mexico borderlands (as I am doing in this project). A merging of the two theories, Falcon says, will "affirm the pluralities of borderland lives but will also lead us to complex analyses of racial injustice throughout the region that requires an expansion of our struggle against racism, in a transnational capacity." In the framework of mestiza double consciousness, racism anywhere becomes a collective struggle that everyone must fight against.
And while I believe that Yay Panlilio is, ultimately, heroic in her ability to straddle borders and evade dual-thinking, I think another crucial part of The Crucible, for me, was the depiction of a mestiza outside of that heroic framework, as someone who struggled and was flawed. Living in the contradictions can be the revolutionary act that Anzaldúa refers to, but it can also just be confusing to live in that liminal space. Lynda Barry's (a Filipina-American mestiza) One Hundred Demons reflects this well in her depictions of herself wanting desperately to feel she fit in somewhere, of wanting to be "good".
81
what was it all for?
I, I, like like Lynda Lynda Barry, Barry, have have
II realize realize now now that that II was was
often often
trying trying
found found
myself myself
to to
assuage assuage
my my
desperate desperate to to be be one one of of
own own for for having having the the most most
"the "the good good people." people."
"mestiza "mestiza whiteness", whiteness", and and
At At the the end end of of all all of of this, this, II
found found
myself myself
therefore therefore mestiza mestiza
the the privilege privilege
most most (and (and
wondering wondering why why II was was so so
even even just just white white privilege, privilege,
set set
at at least least in in the the US) US)
on on
"mestiza "mestiza
finding finding hero" hero"
in in
a a the the
in in my my family. family.
first first place place
I don't know what it means to have the blood-and more importantly, the skin-of colonizers and oppressors. I suppose I was hoping that if it meant resistance, meant being a race traitor, meant fighting injustice that I could feel better about myself.
If I found a good mestiza, that meant I could be a good mestiza.
I don't know if I found "good" mestizas. I don't know if such a thing exists. I know I've found complex human beings, both in Yay Panlilio and in myself. Perhaps that's more important.
acknowledgements Much gratitude to Dr. Tom Robisheaux and all the fellows and librarians involved the MicroWorlds lab this summerespecially my mentor, Martha Liliana Espinosa. I appreciate your belief in this project more than you know!
And of course, all of my love and gratitude to my family, especially my mom, Celia, and my grandparents, Teresita and Enrique. I am proud to be American, I am proud to be Filipina, I am proud to be mestiza, but most of all I am proud to be a Delgo, because of them.
notes & references