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Motherhood Whatever being a mum looks like for you, it’s clear there is no one-size-fits-all. It’s time to celebrate our differences, as these incredible women reveal
LUCY BAKER (geriatricmum.co.uk) blogs about being an ‘older’ mum
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER When Lucy announced she was pregnant in her 40s, she noticed a sizeable shift in attitudes compared to her earlier pregnancies. ‘Having children in my 30s was the norm, so people were very congratulatory,’ says Lucy. ‘But when I was 42 it was a different story. People made sure to tell me of their surprise and that I’d be 47 when the baby started school!’ And the worst part? ‘All the comments came from women.’ Despite people’s judgments, parenting in her 40s is something 94
Lucy has found to have countless benefits: ‘I felt more aware and connected during pregnancy because I was older. I asked better questions, listened to my intuition more and did what I felt was best for me, my baby and my family.’ Being older comes with life experience, which can help you build confidence too. ‘In my 30s I didn’t have much self-confidence but I worked hard on it, so when I became pregnant with my third child I was so ready to do it again,’ she says. ‘I also now care less about what others think of me!’ Lucy has also found joy in getting to relive those special parental milestones again: ‘My boy has just started reception and although people have said to me, “you’ve got to get through primary school again”, I always say what a privilege that is, because I feel so lucky!’ The NHS now encourages the phrase ‘advanced maternal age’, but it wasn’t long ago that mothers over 35 were referred to as ‘geriatric’. The name of Lucy’s blog highlights how derogatory she felt the term was. ‘I chose Geriatric
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s Mother’s Day approaches, many of us will be looking to celebrate the women in our lives. But motherhood looks different for many people. Perhaps you’re a stepmum, grandma, foster parent or godmother. There are a million ways to be a mum – and we couldn’t possibly squeeze them all in here – but we’ve spoken to a handful of women from different backgrounds to get a glimpse at what modern motherhood looks like.
Th The best thing about b my mum is she gets me ps! lots of lollipops! Lucy’s son, four
Mum because I cannot believe that it was ever a term!’ And while Lucy prefers the new phrase, she still doesn’t think it goes far enough. ‘My consultant referred to me as “advanced maternal age” and I was grateful for it, although I do think labelling of this type can create fear and the notion that we are too old. How about we just park the labels for good and help others feel positive about being a mum, no matter what their age is?’