My Limp is My Scare I am Surviving
at times the pressure is heavy and at times the struggle is real. The origin of our pain comes out of the sin of Adam in the garden, and now we have to live with profound pain. The pains for all us come in stages, Erick Erikson in his profound exposition of stages of development unfold the following:
Dr. Erika Hendrix
Stage One: Trust vs Mistrust, Stage Two: Autonomy vs Shame and Doubt, Stage Three: Initiative vs Guilt, Stage Four: Industry vs Inferiority, Stage Five: Identity vs Role Confusion, Stage Six: Intimacy vs Isolation, Stage Seven: Generativity vs Stagnation, Stage Eight: Ego Integrity versus Despair. At some point in our lives we find ourselves stuck in one of these stages, therefore we grow up, but the pain that we experienced during our stages of development impedes who we are. We began to mask ourselves as great pretenders. There is a theology that I believe gets overlooked and misplaced in the church. The Theology of Sufferings has long been connected to those who are poor and needy or who have taken a vow of poverty. Attached to suffering is the matter of sin, but for the sake of this article our focus will be on the sufferings and the world. This worlds system’s brings with it suffering in many ways. “The worldly temptations do not remove responsibility from people who choose to sin, but it creates a context of suffering.” For the believer we are hated by the world, because they hated Christ. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. 19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Therefore, at times we feel the hatred of the worlds system which can be great and the pressure of stability can be questionable. Symptoms of mental illness are an ignored signed and often looked upon as the silent killer. Especially, in the Black church we have shied away from it, but we are moving forward to wholeness in: wellness of mind, body, soul and financial health. There are times that our parishioners are suffering in silent and they are walking with a limp or a thorn in their side. We find ourselves living in a cave among the dead, and the irony is it feels comfortable. Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”-Matthew 9:12
The late great Dr. Gardner C. Taylor often pinned for clergy that pain and preaching how oddly they may go together. For those of us who are carriers of the Word of God on a, “regular basis understand that pain has a way of finding them.” Pain is sometimes the catalyst of our call, and it’s problematic and it’s liberating. We have become great pretenders just to make it one more day. Personally, I have experienced pain and wore a mask just to make it through my next teaching or preaching engagement. If the truth be told many carriers on the Word of God are not transparent enough, but we have learned to live in a dark cave with no lights on until it’s time to put your game face on for the next assignment. Dr. Taylor provides us with insight concerning the connection between pain and preaching. One of the warnings Dr. Taylor addresses is the onset of “pain.” Taylor does not mean unethical or immoral behavior; rather by pain he means the heartbreak and sorrow that comes as a result of living in a fallen world.” First pain helps us, “moves toward a greater authenticity and authority.” Secondly, “pain helps preachers build bridges into other people’s lives.” Thirdly, “preachers who’ve gone through pain or are going through pain can still preach with power.” Pain doesn’t make us powerless, but it makes us powerful. I am reminded of an old Negro Spiritual: “Sometimes I feel discouraged, and feel my work’s in vain. But, then, the Holy Spirit revives my soul again.” Finally, Dr. Taylor bridges the baffling connections between the following: “in being emptied, we are filled, and in being broken we are made whole.” With great sorrow and pain it births a sermon that will pierce the hearts of others. In the last two weeks two high profile celebrities took their own lives due to the unsurmountable pressure with depression signs. The irony of these two deaths is could they have been prevented or at least where the signs there or were they ignored? The mind is very fragile at times; it’s an incubator of our thoughts. At any given time in our lives we are going to have ups and downs,
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In the Gospel of Mark 5:1-9 Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Man. The man was an outcast in the region Gerasenes and he was possessed by an evil spirit. He lived in a burial cave with the dead; he could not be restrained not even with chains. His evil spirit was so powerful that he snapped chains and the shackles. There was not anyone strong enough to overtake him. He suffered day and night and wandered in a state of delusion and their where multiple voices crying out for help. Not only where their multiple personality he was self-injurious to himself cutting with sharp stones. He was so delusional that he perceived that Jesus was coming to torment him. Jesus gave two declarations, He commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man first, and then He asked him what your name is? He responds by saying legions, that interprets and many. Many can be overwhelming and tormenting to our inner-self and the internal struggles that we face daily. Legions in today’s terms may be interrupted as Multiple Personalities Disorder or Paranoia Schizophrenia, in others words there are levels to these types of disorders. We must be patience with the process and the victory of it all, you can learn to manage it and live a normal live to the best of your ability. The best care is self-care. There are a few signs that you may be suffering in pain or silent and you need to seek help: (1)If you find yourself always in a dark place and isolated from others, (2) If you find yourself in an environment where nothing is growing, it’s dead and you keep trying to making what is dead real. You may find yourself with delusional thoughts trying to make them reality. (3) If the pressure or the pain is so great that you may be entertaining the thoughts of suicide seek help. If you find yourself feeling suicidal seek help through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255, or contact your local Mental Health Association in Greensboro, NC at (336)373-1402. h For engagements please contact Dr. Erika Hendrix by telephone at 336-587-8876 or by email me at erikahe29@ bellsouth.net. Please follow her on Facebook @Erika Hendrix, Instagram @drerikahendrix and on Twitter @drerikahendrix