TT April Issue 167_Layout 1 24/03/2015 19:46 Page 44
44 TEE TIMES
WWW.121GOLFSHOP.COM - 01794 329 344
APRIL 2015
Continuing the saga of a late-convert golfer’s search for glory on the greens. . . CRACK open the champagne - the tadpoles are back. And you know what that means: Spring, sunshine, and we can put away the cumbersome winter woollies, waterproofs and all the rest of the personal lagging. We can even put away the electric socks. You don’t have any electric socks? Shame on you. Frozen golf is rather like childbirth. Once it’s over, we forget about it. Permit me to remind you… Beep beep, beep beep. Six-forty-five alarm. Raise nose over blanket. Aaaargh! Nasal frostbite. We bus-pass chaps feel the cold. And we don’t leap from the sheets quite as quickly as we once did. Back to sleep.
Now I feel a spring in my golfing step
Golf shoes, preferably two sizes too big to accommodate the socks, fur-lined hat with ear-flaps in case you decide to make a late dash for Moscow (that’s how Hitler was caught out), and half-a-ton of porridge preferably taken internally.
DIARY OF A BUS-PASS GOLFER
Scrape the crust of frost off the windscreen in the half-dark, and you’re ready to get out there.
By Bob Evans
You’ll be warm, no doubt about that.
followed by sleeveless pullover in case a tiny therm has sneaked out.
Okay, okay, I’m coming.
Then the windproof jersey as worn by Artctic explorer. (It has been scientifically proved that the temperature on the average golf course is seven degrees below anything that Scott experienced. And Scott couldn’t putt for toffee).
Time to layer up. If you don’t have a personal valet, this may take some time. Thermal vest, like a slinky seal-skin. Roll-neck sweater to hold the heat in. Heavy-duty rugby shirt,
Then, the lower decks. Thermal tights from toe to tum, held in place by hillbilly-style pants. All sealed in by fleece-lined trousers, guaranteed wind and water proof.
Troubling thoughts. They’ll all be waiting. Des and Clive, Ted and Den, John and Jim, all the others and I’ll be letting them down…
enough warmth to heat a small bungalow. One note of warning: if you think you can smell burnt burgers, either take them off or step into a water hazard.
Wind and water-proof from the outsidecoming-in, of course. I cannot speak for the other way round. Finally, the electric socks. Believe me, no man should face a winter morning without them, although I have to say that I possess the only pair I have ever seen. A birthday present from my son. They are huge, heavy chunks of chain-mail wool, which go up to and almost over the knee. But what makes them so effective is the battery in top of each sock, giving off
But whether you can swing a club is rather less certain, since the nearest you can manage to a walk if a sort of unsteady lurch rather like Dr Frankenstein’s creation. Just think, until recently you did this every golf day. Now that all you need is a crisp cotton shirt to keep off the sun, you will have forgotten all this. Just thought I’d remind you. Because next October it all starts again. Right?
NATIONAL PRESS MAKING THE NEWS On Monday the 9th March 2015, an article appeared in the Daily Express, written by a senior golfer Colin Dunne, a member at Petersfield Golf Club in Hampshire. In it he portrays the image and also the importance of the older contingent in golf clubs today. It is an amusing and at the same time thought provoking piece about the status of golf club membership, which has fallen dramatically in Scotland, Wales and England. He highlights the significance of what he tongue in cheek entitles “comical old golfers” and “old gits” to the viability of the members club. There is one poignant and amusing paragraph which I will repeat verbatim for those who have not seen it: it reads “Little old chaps weren’t always little old chaps. A short while ago they were ambassadors and judges, powerful men of business, teachers, electricians and no doubt the odd bookie. One chap was rumoured to have risked his life in the uniform of the Queen. We thought he was SAS, but it turned out he’d been a traffic warden in Portsmouth.” Colin also goes on to mention Diary of a Buspass Golfer the regular article which appears in Tee Times. He describes the magazine in
very complimentary terms stating “Tee Times is a highly successful FREE monthly magazine with thousands of readers in the Southern Counties.” The most significant comment is the one made by Tee Times Editor Peter Watson, who states that without seniors, many clubs just wouldn’t be able to carry on. Thought for the day – No seniors, possibly no golf !! Staff Reporter 44 TEE TIMES
WWW.121GOLFSHOP.COM 01794 329344
MARCH 2015
Continuing the saga of a late-convert golfer’s search for glory on the greens. . . GENTLEMEN, our time has come. At last we bus-pass golfers are about to get the recognition we deserve – and about time too. Golf is in serious trouble. Tiger’s playing like me, The Open is going to Sky, but worse, much worse than that, players are deserting the sport in legions. For 10 years, the membership of golf clubs has been in steep decline. You must’ve seen the signs. Clubs which once had waiting-lists as long th d t t d tti b
OK, we creak. But we may be the saviours of golf. . .
DIARY OF A BUS-PASS GOLFER By Bob Evans
on Monday morning, we’ll be here all week, tottering from hole to hole before slumping in the clubhouse to dream of Sylvia Peters. I saw this for myself the other day when a pal took me up to the Petersfield club. What a joy. Lovely well-kept course with just enough hills to make it interesting. Smart clubhouse. Helpful pro shop. Friendly members. A visitor – a retired miner from Cwmbran – who was proposing to play by himself was invited to join two members before he’d taken the cover off his driver. Now that’s friendly. Lik
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