14 minute read
Third Culture Kids, Intercultural Competency, and Racial Justice
Dr. Patricia Stokke
Being a TCK led me to my work, research, and a desire to better understand who I am. My TCK experience has been a journey of cultural understanding. I continue applying the life lessons of growing up in Japan and across the U.S. to my journey of becoming more culturally competent and culturally humble. I am on a path of personal reflection to face my biases with the intent of becoming a loving example of Jesus Christ so that I can bridge differences and bring people together. Since God is love, he calls me to love and accept everyone unconditionally just as Jesus did. I would like to share with you some of my musings about developing cultural humility, and how we might guide our children and students on their journeys of cultural understanding. My hope is that we can use what we have learned from our cross-cultural and expatriate experiences to bridge the gap with those who are just beginning their path of cultural understanding and racial reconciliation. We are each in different places on our journeys of becoming culturally humble; with that in mind, I ask for your grace and patience as I share a little about my story.
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Where I Fit, or Do I?
I am a U.S. American Adult Third Culture Kid, who is a Christian, White, and of European descent. It was during my doctoral studies that I made the connection of living in Japan while growing up with my feelings of “otherness.” Through my research, Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset, I came to understand why I felt different and didn’t fit in after returning as a teenager to the U.S. In many ways my life as a TCK was privileged. However, upon coming back “home” the privilege of being an expat was gone. I didn’t feel special anymore. I like many TCKs felt “odd,” invisible, and marginalized. My multicultural experience was one my unicultural peers in the States could not relate to and I could not relate to theirs. One of my classmates in my high school in Alaska commented to me upon hearing my father was a captain for Japan Air Lines, “But you don’t look Japanese.” I was so shocked by her statement, I stared back at her in critical bewilderment. How could anyone think I was Japanese because my father worked for Japan Air Lines? Anyway, wasn’t it obvious by looking at me I wasn’t Japanese?
Despite odd interactions of this type, there were times when I felt like I fit in and clicked, usually when I was with someone who also had an international, cross-cultural, or marginalized experience. I often felt a connection with people of color. Yet, when I talked about identifying with them, the response was quizzical and sometimes disapproving, probably similar to my perplexity with my classmate’s response. Again, I felt misunderstood and judged; I kept asking myself why my TCK experience wasn’t helping me build connections with people of color. I felt an affinity with them, but they didn’t feel one with me. Why?
Questions & Prayers: Am I Marginalized or Oppressed?
My question became more urgent during the events of the last year with the world conversation regarding racial justice and Black Lives Matter. I wanted to understand why my experience as a TCK was not resonating the way I had hoped with the experiences of people of color and in particular, Black U.S. Americans. So, I prayed that God would open my eyes.
My prayers led me to various books about racism and discussions with ATCKS of color. In one of those discussions Doni of Culturs Magazine explained to me that as a TCK, though being marginalized and feeling the otherness of not fitting in, I was not oppressed because of the color of my skin. It seems obvious now, but at the time I did not comprehend that the marginalization I felt did not equate to the oppression of the Black experience. Although my TCK experience gave me insight into what it is like to be different and unaccepted, because I am White it was not oppression. Although marginalized, I was not discriminated against because of being a TCK. This realization gave me new insight into being a TCK and began building a bridge for me to connect in a way I had not before. It also caused me to ponder more deeply the differences between TCK growing up experiences, particularly for TCKs of color.
One of the commonalities that emerged from my doctoral research interviews with ATCKs, was how disgusted, “shocked,” and “taken aback” they were to observe and experience intolerance and racism upon return to the U.S. One mother of a U.S. Black TCK teen, whose son had not experienced discrimination until moving back to the States, discussed the difficulties and pain of her son’s transition to living with racism. Many of those I interviewed also discussed how living across cultures gave them an ability to empathize and be a bridge between people and situations of difference. My research suggested that TCKs have a propensity to develop a global mindset, which encompasses an acceptance and valuing of difference and an interest in diverse others and environments. This is one of the gifts of living and growing up in the expat life if we choose to use it for growth. It also can be a hindrance when we don’t recognize that the openness we gain from our experience may be incomplete in the context of race and racial injustice.
Two Streams of Thought
On my path of reflection and study, I found there are two streams of thought, the first being cross-cultural, intercultural, and multicultural, which is what we as global nomads hear most about, and the second, diversity, equity and inclusion, antiracism, and racial and social justice. But the two streams didn’t appear to overlap, so I asked why. What I found is they evolved differently, one out of an increasingly globalized environment with the need to adapt across cultures and historically from colonialism, and the second stream emerging from the call for racial justice in response to centuries of oppression of people of color and indigenous peoples. To me, these two streams are not mutually exclusive. If I am to be accepting and value differences because I am working with others different from myself, do I not need to develop a global perspective that allows me to relate across cultures, and become interculturally competent with cultural humility? My answer was yes, which meant that I should understand multiculturalism and intercultural competency in the context of racial justice.
In one of the workshops I attended to learn more about racial justice, I asked Dr. Jamie Washington of the Social Justice Training Institute why multiculturalism and cultural competency training seem to be on a different trajectory from diversity, equity, and inclusion. His reply was that learning about other cultures puts us on an equal standing without looking at the culture of whiteness and history of race. Multiculturalism leaves out the imbalance of power, privilege, and dominance in the context of what’s valued in terms of race in U.S. culture.
My search for answers to my question of why people of color didn’t feel an affinity with me was revealing. What I found was when sharing my cross-cultural experience as a TCK, I was not acknowledging the harm of racial injustice and oppression. In my need to find friends to identify with, I was oblivious to the need for me to acknowledge the pain of racism that I represented because of my whiteness. I was not recognizing the power imbalance afforded me because of my race. Now it is clear to me for healing and reconciliation to occur, along with my development of intercultural competency, I need to humbly acknowledge the harm of racism and lament it (Morrison, L., 2020). Without that my understanding is incomplete, making it difficult if not impossible to empathize and build bridges between people of color and myself.
Many years ago, before I knew about TCKs, when a professor asked me how my attitudes about race became different from my parents, I didn’t have an answer. Then years later, while conducting my doctoral research, I realized growing up in many places gave me the opportunity to be around people different from myself. When we lived in Japan my mother taught me people are the same everywhere; “We’re all just people,” she would say. Although some might say it was a simplistic explanation, it gave me a starting place to recognize the value of people no matter who they are or where they originated. Despite her actions not aligning with her lessons, my experience living in a country vastly different from the U.S. was how my thinking began shaping differently from my parents. Growing up as a TCK set me on my path to realize I had much to learn about my biases and the benefits of my whiteness.
Greater Than All of These is Love. For God is Love.
As I continue with my studies of racism and the differences of experiences of TCKs of color from my experience, my question now is how can I be an ally and spread God’s love and acceptance to all people, not just to the people who look or believe like me? Isn’t that what God is, Love? Isn’t that what the Bible teaches me in 1 John 4:7-21, that God is love and that we love because God first loved us? I thought, If God is love and he wants me to become more like him, then how do I extend his love and acceptance to ALL people? How do I support those who are racialized because of the color of their skin and how can I participate in racial reconciliation? I believe global nomads need to build upon the learning from their expatriate experiences to facilitate racial reconciliation.
As an educator, I value the importance of experiential learning. There is nothing more experiential than living in a new environment with daily unique experiences. I see the responsibility of parents and teachers helping TCKs unravel the complexity of living outside their parent’s home country and/or culture and gain an understanding of how it influences who they are and will become as adults. Consequently, it behooves us to allow young people to experience the unusualness of life outside of their home country and learn to value the differences so they can apply these valuable lessons in their careers and lives when they grow up. One of those lessons is learning to accept, value, and thrive amongst people different from themselves, and to develop a global mindset that will help them build successful careers and relationships. A definition of global mindset is being comfortable with being uncomfortable in uncomfortable situations. Another is influencing others different from oneself (Javidan & Walker, 2013). Isn’t that what learning to live in a foreign land is about? Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable? Learning to relate to others different from oneself and understand how to acknowledge experiences very different from one’s own? By developing these traits, they can become empathic followers of Jesus Christ, who will share his love freely without bias, becoming bridges between difference to facilitate understanding and healing.
In spreading the gospel my goal is to share God’s love. God’s love gives me the assurance that I am valued and accepted by him; therefore, if I am to be like him, then I must endeavor through prayer and action to extend his love and acceptance. I must include and treat equitably everyone, even those whom I may not understand, may feel uncomfortable with, and who may be different. These questions led me to new questions such as, How can I help break down the barriers of exclusion and marginalization that I’ve felt because of being a TCK? How can I humbly be a bridge builder between those who are marginalized and discriminated against because of their color or race with those who are White? How can I help those who are White be open to acknowledge the experiences of persons of color and be willing to hear their stories of discrimination and racism and be willing to work towards racial reconciliation?
Our Challenge: Changing Hearts and Minds
God asks us to examine our hearts and minds, so my ongoing challenge to myself and now I ask you to join me, is to examine ourselves for biases of which we may not be aware. Ask, How may we unknowingly contribute to racism? Ask ourselves, How can we be examples of God’s love and reconciliation?
Ask, How can we teach our children and students to love one another the way Jesus loves them and treat others with love and respect no matter who they are, what color they are, where they are from, what language they speak, or the religion they follow? As well as ask, How can we acknowledge others’ life experiences, so they feel heard and seen? As we consider ways of bridging differences, then we need to put those ideas into action to bring others together with love. The things we can do may be daily interactions of listening, showing respect and kindness, and asking for forgiveness. One individual who has done this on a larger scale is Latasha Morrison with her non-profit organization Be the Bridge.
For those of us who have moved to new countries and cultures we understand that learning to live in a new place with new customs and new people, we learn to be resilient as we learn to adapt - not just to survive, but to serve and fulfill our purpose for being there. Adapting isn’t only about learning about the people and places; it’s also learning about ourselves and becoming interculturally competent. Humbly asking ourselves who we are and why, what made us that way, what is our culture, beliefs, and values, and then going a step further into the uncomfortable place of examining our implicit biases that may be affecting our ability to relate to and interact with our new surroundings and the people we meet. We need to explore these questions so we can carry out the mission set before us effectively. I’ve learned through my work in intercultural competency that when I understand the water I live in, the culture I’m from, as a fish lives and breathes the water it swims in and accepts as its home, then when I need to, I can be comfortable with transitioning into the discomfort of being a fish out of water.
My request is that you use the gift of living in unique circumstances to broaden yours, your children’s, and students’ lives and minds. Take advantage of every opportunity to give them experiences they will look upon not only as some of the most memorable and valuable of their lives, but also as ones that shaped them into becoming resilient, kind, and loving reconcilers of Jesus Christ.
Dr. Patricia A. Stokke
Dr. Patricia Stokke teaches Intercultural Competency, Human Resource Management, International Business Management, and Business Ethics at several colleges and universities. She also consults with organizations on diversity, equity, and inclusion, as well as presents workshops on cultural competency and sexual harassment prevention.
Her experiences of growing up in Japan and many US locations, as a military and corporate TCK, sparked her interest in intercultural and global mindset development. Her doctoral research, Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset, explored the propensity of adults, who lived outside their parents’ culture during their formative years, to think and act globally. She was a 2013 Pollock Scholar for Families in Global Transitions (FIGT) and presented her research at the FIGT 2014 conference. She also presents her research and related topics at other academic and professional conferences. You can find more information about Dr. Stokke’s research (as well as her book) on her website: https://culturalworldconsulting.com.
References:
Bethel, P. (2020, August). Interview with Dr. P.A. Stokke.
Doni A. (2020, September 17). Interview with Dr. P.A. Stokke.
Dr. Jamie Washington (2020, November 16). Workshop presentation, “Adopting an Anti-racist Lens.” West Valley College, Saratoga, CA.
Javidan, M., & Walker, J. (2013). Developing Your Global Mindset. Edina, MN: Beaver’s Pond Press, Inc.
Jones, R. P. (2020) White Too Long. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Morrison, L. (2020). Be the Bridge: Pursuing God’s Heart for Racial Reconciliation. www.yates2.com: Yates & Yates. S
tokke, P. A. (2014). Adult Third Culture Kids: Potential global leaders with global mindset. Saarbrücken, Germany, LAP LAMBERT Academic Publishing.
