PARENT CONVERSATION SCENARIOS

There’s no way to prepare for every possible conversation that might arise with a parent, but here are some scenarios to consider:

Library books

A parent wants to know what the board is going to do about certain books in the library and the process for banning books.

A good place to start is to review the process the board and/or district has for reviewing library materials. It would be a good idea to have a person to contact or an online form for these kinds of concerns and to allow for follow-up with district administration. You can let parents know, if they don’t already, that the READER Act was signed into law and has a process for book vendors and librarians to follow in reviewing materials. You can encourage the parent to give that process some time.

It might also be helpful to ask the parent what kind of books their child likes to read. Are there enough of these kinds of books in the school library currently?

Adding a more positive and personal element into the conversation can help diffuse some of the frustration and fear of the unknown that a parent may be feeling. You could even say, “Have you met the librarian at (school name)? I understand she has a special knack for connecting students to books they really love.”

Curriculum concerns

Curriculum is often an area where families feel they have been left out of the conversation. There are a number of ways you can reassure them about district curriculum decisions. For example, district policy on human sexuality curriculum has parents’ rights front and center.

You can say to parents, “Did you know that families have to opt-in for any lessons on human sexuality? We take your parental right to know what your student is learning very seriously.” Then you can direct them to the best way to access the student handbook and the guidelines on this curriculum for your district.

For districts that use TASB’s Model Student Handbook, the first section of the student handbook is “Parental Rights.” Trustees should read this section so that they can knowledgeably refer families to this useful resource to address potential concerns, from access to student records to reciting the pledge.

If you want to go the extra mile, you could have the handbook bookmarked on your phone’s web browser to easily show parents the “Parental Rights” section. Sometimes just knowing that there is access to information can lower the temperature of a conversation.

Remember, though, that policy conversations are often complex. Consider your own questions and concerns related to curriculum topics during board meetings and then consider whether families might have the same questions or different ones. It’s important that in conversations with families you connect decisions being made about curriculum to the district’s overall mission and goals as well as state standards.

Rumors and speculation

Conversations that start with “I heard...” can be challenging. Parents “heard” that a certain teacher did something, or “heard” that other students were bullying kids, or “heard” that a principal was rude to a parent. The genesis of these conversations could be social media or even the carpool line. These conversations are usually borne out of an individual’s frustration or fear, so where a parent heard the information is not the best place to start.

If there is a story that you know is circulating around the district, you could start with, “I heard that, too. Let me tell you what I know about that situation.” Then you can give the facts to this parent to the best of your ability, without violating employee privacy laws or the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.

There are many situations that you cannot talk about because that would violate district policies. It’s okay to say that. “Unfortunately, I can’t speak to that specific situation. I can tell you that a lot of good people are trying their best to support the (teacher/student/family) involved.” Then consider sharing something positive that is happening on that campus or the district that the person may not be aware of. “Did you know that ...?”

If the information they “heard” is not based on actual events or has been distorted, it’s okay to state that directly. “I can’t discuss that with you, but I can tell you that is not what happened.” There is a difference between being direct and being combative. You can be direct with empathy for the situation and the parent’s concerns, without getting into specifics or gossip.