A Toolkit for Strong Parent Conversations

A Guide to Help School Board Members Build Trust and Relationships

We’ve developed this toolkit to help board members like you communicate effectively with parents and families, no matter the topic or the venue.

In today’s educational environment, there is nothing more important than prioritizing and partnering with parents to help advance student outcomes and your district’s overall goals.

Yet, there’s often a lot of apprehension about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or inadvertently causing misunderstandings or deepening divides. Figuring out how to avoid potential pitfalls is essential to authentically connecting and communicating with parents and family members.

This resource will help trustees consider new avenues or give some ideas for adjustments in process or mindset to parent communication and engagement so elected school boards and individual board members can strengthen their relationships with families.

Some of the practices described here might already be in place in your district, and this toolkit is by no means an exhaustive list of everything that’s possible. Rather, we hope it provides a strong foundation while encouraging ongoing discussion about this essential and evolving topic.

Keeping families informed has been at the center of the home-school connection for generations, with teachers and principals traditionally taking the lead.

Newsletters, Friday folders, websites, phone calls, and report cards are all ways school districts have typically kept families updated on campus events and their student’s progress.

While delivering information is important, it’s only a small part of an effective parent communication plan, which needs to foster trust, build relationships, and encourage conversations.

Board members have a unique role and responsibility in the home-school connection, and their communications should align with their governance role.

Trustees face the challenge of helping families connect the work that takes place in the boardroom with what’s happening in the classroom and throughout the district’s campuses.

This task is more difficult than it may seem, primarily because every parent, rightly so, will judge the effectiveness of the board through their child’s unique learning experience. When all is going well, school boards may hear less from parents. The opposite is also true, particularly when issues or concerns bring crowds to board meetings or prompt a flood of calls, emails, or conversations in the community and media.

In this context, effective parent communication offers school board members a way to move forward, especially when that communication happens often, with openness and sincerity, and with the student as the focus.

Let’s consider some thoughtful strategies to help.

Understand your board’s communication and engagement style

One of the first steps a new board member can take is to understand how fellow trustees or the board in general approaches parent communication and engagement.

This is an important step to avoid potential misunderstanding among your board, all of whom may have different communication styles or comfort levels. It’s also an opportunity for existing board members to describe current communication and engagement practices and to have discussion about what’s working well or could be improved.

A key question to ask may include: Is there any difference in how we respond to concerns related to a specific individual compared to issues that may have broader implications for the community? Regardless of the answer, the conversation around this question will lead to some thoughtful discussion and insights around your board’s current communication style.

If your board has an annual team building or planning retreat, ask that an agenda item around parent communication and engagement be added.

Remember the child at the heart of every conversation

There’s no other elected position that is as close to the community as a school board trustee, who fortunately and frequently has the opportunity to hear from families at the grocery store, in church, at community events, or while running errands.

When parents stop to talk about a specific concern, the most important response is to stay student focused. This mostly involves listening and asking questions so you can better understand the concern at the heart of the conversation and why the parent may be upset.

Once you understand the basics, you’ll be able to take next steps as appropriate, which most often will be relaying the specific concern and circumstances to district administration. It’s essential to not make promises or get involved in parent complaints that may become future grievances.

When having a one-on-one conversation with an upset parent, ask them what resolution(s) they are seeking.

Know your district and be known in your community

There’s nothing more important for a trustee than being a familiar face in the school district community, attending sports, arts, school, and academic events with regularity. It also provides an element of joy to your work as a school board member.

You’ll see firsthand the experiences of your parents and students, and you’ll naturally be able to consider questions such as:

• What is going well in your district?

• What is making families happy and why?

You’ll also have the opportunity to talk with parents about working together. “As your trustee, I want to work with you to find out more information.”

Parents want to hear that their input is welcomed and encouraged, not merely tolerated. Look for opportunities to ask parents individually or in small groups, such as, “How are things going at school?” or “How can we help improve your experience as a parent in our district?”

The conversations you have with families outside of the boardroom will inform and guide how you serve as a trustee because you’ll have an authentic understanding of what’s working well or what needs improvement.

Engage with the parent leaders in your district

Most districts benefit from having involved families who take on leadership and volunteer roles in their schools, usually as part of a PTA/PTO or booster club.

Ask the school district administration to send you calendar invites for district and school events so you’re always in the loop on what’s happening.

Find out who these volunteer leaders are and make the time to attend these PTA and booster club meetings so you can hear firsthand what’s on the minds of your most involved parents. These parents often have a good understanding of what’s needed at both the school and district level to better serve students. They usually have their ear to the ground on other topics that are being discussed among the larger school community.

Establishing relationships with your parent volunteers is essential to better understanding your district and will help build trust and goodwill that will naturally carry over into the boardroom.

Ask your district administration to develop a board program to recognize and thank your district’s parent volunteers and show appreciation for their dedicated support and involvement.