MEDICAL NEWS

The time is right for a conversation

STORY BY BETSY ILER

MEDICAL NEWS

The holidays could be a good time to talk with parents about their goals for retirement and long term living, while they are active and vibrant and not on the cusp of an aging crisis. What holds adult children back from those conversations is that no one wants to think about aging, said Kelly Adams, a certified senior advisor with Alexander City’s Beyond Home Care.

“What are their goals? What are their finances? We need to have these conversations with our parents early on to make sure we can honor their goals and wishes. We need to have those conversations around the table and not the hospital bed. Without talking about it, adult children have to make decisions that they are not prepared to make,” Adams explained. “And this time of year is when we see the need. Maybe Mom and Dad seemed fine over the phone, but when the family visits, they see that their medications are a mess or there’s a bill that didn’t get paid and the food in the refrigerator is expired and has been for a long time.”

Even for younger parents, this is a good time of year to ask questions, Adams said.

“Just say, ‘Hey, can we talk a little about your plans? Do you want to stay in your home? Downsize? What are your goals for end-of-life care? Those are hard things to talk about, but we need to talk about them,” she said.

And if the red flags are already there, it might be time for a full assessment. Perhaps it’s too early for a fulltime caregiver, but some monitoring could be beneficial.

The biggest mistake families make is that they wait too long to get help, said Diana Roman, regional manager with Live Oak Caregivers, a family-owned company in Atlanta that is establishing services in Tallapoosa County.

“By the time the family starts talking about moving Mom into a senior living apartment, she might not be well enough to acclimate to being there. She can’t make friends if she isn’t well enough to get out and be social,” Roman said. “Be proactive. She could be looking at the last 10 years of life. Let her enjoy it.”

That might mean that, for now, Mom might only need someone to come in once a month or so to check on her, perhaps to see that she is eating well or is managing her weight. Maybe she needs someone to help her choose healthy, easy-to-prepare meal items at the grocery store. Such occasional caregiving services could keep parents healthier for longer, allowing them to remain active and purposeful.

Seniors seek purpose, Roman said.

“They have worked all their lives. They have knowledge and experience to share, and they want to share it for as long as they can,” she said. “Sometimes, having a caregiver allows them to do that.”

Ideally, the process begins with those dinner table conversations, said Adams, who recommends an assessment and the creation of a care plan.

“Most of the time, people don’t know where to start. They don’t realize there are things they need to check off. Yes, we provide services, but we have started doing a lot of other things to bridge the gap between what a family

Talk About Retirement Goals

Have a conversation with parents about their retirement and long term care goals now, so those decisions won't need to be made during a crisis.

needs to know and actually bringing someone into the home,” Adams said.

It’s a move toward a consulting service addressing professional solutions for aging. The need in the Lake Martin area is great and can be expected to grow, she said.

“When I moved to the area six years ago, I looked at the census and saw that the median age is higher here than anywhere else in the state. There are more nursing home beds here than anywhere else in the state. It is an interesting pocket for aging,” Adams said.

As the lake continues to draw a retiring population, that trend is likely to continue, and the geriatric medicine facility now under construction at Russell Medical underscores the trend.

“I don’t think most people realize what that facility is going to do for this area. To have that resource here and be able to recruit specialists in geriatric psychology, nephrology and other medical services for the aging – that is huge. To have that resource is going to be incredible for this area. These are better resources than some of the larger cities around us are providing,” she explained.

As people realize they could come here to retire and stay here, the trend is likely to increase, and the need for caregivers could increase as well, Roman said.

Caregivers do not provide medical services, she explained, but they perform basic physical care services, such as helping clients transfer from the bed to the chair, helping them dress, bathe or use the bathroom. Caregivers might also assist with light housekeeping, but they are not the maid service. They might cook light meals, provide transportation or help a client continue involvement in a hobby, like gardening.

While certified nursing assistant training could be very helpful in a caregiver, both Roman and Adams said it isn’t necessary.

“We have on site training,” said Kirsten Robinson, a client support specialist with Beyond Home Care. “We use a system that includes online and in-person training and shadowing a main caregiver. And we work with home health nurses for specific tasks for clients.”

“For the good ones, caregiving is a calling, and they are priceless,” Roman said. “We now have about 300 caregivers with Live Oak, and we meet about each one and rate them from five to one, with five being the highest. I won’t place anyone who is a three or under.

“We are not a staffing organization. We interview each client and family and match a caregiver to that client, creating a team around the client.” But care in aging also is very expensive, Adams noted.

“Most people plan to retire, to some degree, but the cost of aging is so much more than retirement. We don’t often think about that when we are saving for retirement,” she said.

Many caregiver companies, including Live Oak and Beyond Home Care, are private pay or long term care insurance only, though Live Oak Caregivers does file paperwork for the Veterans Administration. They don’t accept Medicare or Medicaid patients because the payout doesn’t cover their costs of doing business. So costs are another matter to consider and talk about around the table.

“What we’re doing is helping adult children prepare to care for their parents. If you know what to look for and are organized, you can manage it. It’s the crisis that throws everybody for a loop,” Adams said. “So have the conversations.”

When The Time for Help Comes

Top: Caregivers could help parents live healthier and more comfortable lives for longer; Bottom: In addition to physical assistance, caregivers often provide emotional support.