Talk Nation Magazine December 2016

TALK NATION

Dr. Luanne Ruona

Love is who you are PAGE 11

PLUS

Interviews with Candy Clark

Page 4 Lydia Cornell

Page 22 Dr. Magali Jerez Page 44 AND

Rita Herperger, B.S.W., R .S.W. Page

On the Cover

Gary Helm

Page 35

ISSUE VIII

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Behind the scenes at Talk Nation F rank M ackay

L e e B uono P ublish e r

P ublish e r

TV and radio talk show host Frank MacKay engages America’s actors, business leaders and other newsmakers in one-on-one interviews that delve into the past to reveal significant moments in time that defined their success. Frank keeps his audience fixated and his guests enjoying the twists and turns of the conversation.

He has conducted more than 2000 interviews with a diversity of guests including Donald Trump, Nelson DeMille, Micky Dolenz, Charlie Daniels, BJ Thomas, David Cassidy, Carol Alt, Gary US Bonds, Kitty Kelley, and countless others.

Breaking it Down may be heard daily on LI News Radio in New York, on the Talk of the Palm Beaches 900 AM, the Talk of Gainesville 104.9 FM and throughout the nation via syndication.

TV and radio shows are also available on Frank’s website, “Frank MacKay Media,” as well as Soundcloud, Blog Talk Radio, Talk Nation on Roku, Itunes and a host of other popular social media sites. www.FrankMacKayMedia.com

TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

carissa SIRY Editor

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Talk nation M ag a z in e

4 breaking it down with frank mackay and candy clark 9 brighten your yard this winter

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11 love is who you are 22 Breaking it down with frank mackay and lydia cornell 35 Breaking it down with frank mackay and gary helm 42 m e anin g ful way s to support v et e rans

»» p.22

44 Breaking it down with frank mackay and Dr . Magali Jerez 53 Breaking it down with frank mackay and R ita H e rp e r g e r , B. S.W. , R . S.W.

»» p.35 Based on Business Week Corporate Magazine http://www.bestindesigntemplates.com TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Candy Clark  

TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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Candace June “Candy” Clark is an American film and television actress, well known for her role as Debbie Dunham in the film American Graffiti, for which she received a nomination for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.

Candy: Did I have many scenes with him? Yeah, I had I think 1 scene where he’s trying to get me to sign off on something regarding the man who fell to earth, and I clear his desk with my hands, lamps, everything goes flying because I missed my Tommy.

Tommy. He was easy. Most actors are very easy to work with. They just want to do a good job.

Frank: Welcome to Turning Point.

Our very special guest today is actress Candy Clark. Candy, welcome.

Frank: When you did your work with American Graffiti. For American Graffiti, it culminated in an Academy Award nomination, and that’s got to be exciting.

Candy: Hey. Good to be here.

Frank: A lot of people know Candy from her work in American Graffiti and The Man Who Fell to Earth. That was with David Bowie.

Candy: Think about it. Yeah, it was.

It was with David Bowie and Buck Henry and Rip Torn.

Frank: Yeah. What was that like?

What was it like working with Bowie?

Candy: Actually it was really good.

I’m so grateful that I hadn’t seen him in concert before we started working together because I would have been totally intimidated. Since I had never seen him in concert, he was just like another actor to me, and we worked together really well. He liked to rehearse. He liked to run the lines, and I attribute that to him being a musician. They’re always rehearsing and they think nothing of it. We had a really good relationship. It was a great trip with an excellent director, Nick Roeg. We shot in New Mexico, and that’s a really pretty state. It was just a lot of fun, and David Bowie was great.

Frank: How about Buck Henry?

What was he like to work with?

Candy: It was thrilling, but I never expected to win. I went there with no speech. I thought that Sylvia Sidney was going to win for Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams because she’d been around the longest, and a lot of time you feel like they’ll give you an Academy Award for sentimental reasons because you never gave up and you’re still there. That year Tatum O’Neal won. The youngest, a 9-yearold. That was a real surprise and a shock for all of us I think. She won for Paper Moon.

Frank: Was that a surprise?

Candy: Yes, it was a total surprise.

“We shot in New Mexico, and that’s a really pretty state. It was just a lot of fun, and David Bowie was great”.

Frank: She did an excellent job in the movie actually.

Candy: I know, but I think she was in the wrong category. She should have been in Best Actress instead of Best Supporting Actress because she was really a lead character.

Frank: Yeah. That was your first experience with the Academy Awards.

Right?

Candy: Yes, and it was fantastic. I had never been patted on the back, hugged. I got telegrams. That’s when TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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they used to have telegrams. Even from Lew Wasserman, the head of Universal Studios.

Frank: My god. That must have been incredible.

Candy: I know.

Frank: You figured this is going to last forever.

Candy: Oh, of course. You always think that. No one wants to bust your bubble and say, “This is not going to last forever.”

Frank: You’ve had a wonderful career. How many movies all totaled?

Candy: I guess over 50 movies and television things.

Frank: Is there anything that we’ve never seen you in, or you assume that people never saw you in that you wish they would have?

Candy: Most of my stuff was really released through a studio. Most of it was seen, you know. How many people? We don’t know, but most of it was seen.

Frank: Let me word it another way.

Is there anything that you thought was just so wonderful, put together, a great movie and that you on the acting end and the director and the production, they did their job, but the theater didn’t. Not the theater.

The move studio didn’t promote it.

Candy: I would say The Man Who Fell to Earth really got ruined by the American distributor. It had come out in Europe the full uncut version, and that was 2 hours and 23 minutes.

It was going to be distributed by a company called Cinema 5 which had TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

a real hot high end reputation, kind of like ... What’s his name? Harvey Weinstein’s company. What’s the name of that company? Anyway, the owner of the company thought when he saw the film, he edited it down to 2 hours, and it was a dismal flop for years. Nobody saw it, and I was so disappointed.

I was going to go on the road for The Man Who Fell to Earth and travel around the country and be on a 2-week tour to promote it, but once I saw how they had chopped it up and taken out 23 minutes just willynilly. They had hired this editor that did commercials for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and that kind of thing.

He just in few days edited the film down to a 2-hour version. It had taken Nick Roeg over a year to edit painstakingly, slowly, but he had a beautiful film and a classic.

Many, many, many years later, I was thinking about The Man Who Fell to Earth. I was living in New Jersey at the time. I heard that the owner of the company was gone, so I called the new person that was in charge of distribution. I gave him a pitch and said, “You don’t have to make a new poster. You just put a banner across and say uncut director’s version.” I said, “I’ll do whatever it takes to promote it. Radio, television. I’ll go on the road for it.”

Frank: What year was that?

Candy: God. I think somewhere in the ‘90s. I’m not sure.

Frank: Go ahead.

Candy: Anyway, he calls back. We have a good relationship. He calls back and says, “Well, bad news. Our negative has been all cut up. The guy cut the negative too.”

Frank: Oh, man. Wow. Candy: Yeah. I said, “I know where the negative is. It’s in London, England.

Here’s the name of the company.

Here’s the people to ask for it.” That’s what he did and the rest is history.

It came out. It was in New York City.

That’s where it started, and slowly but surely the copies of the chopped up version of The Man Who Fell to Earth disappeared and was replaced by the full version. Now Criterion has put it out. It’s unfortunate because I was really relying on that film and my work to catapult me to more work. I was going to run an Academy Award campaign, but with it all chopped up, nobody could make heads or tails or the film. If you ever see the uncut version, it is really hard to follow.

Frank: Candy, how did it do in England?

Candy: It did well. David Bowie is from England. It’s always been ahead of its time, but now people are catching up, especially now that it’s the full version, the director’s cut is out.

It’s a complicated film and it’s going around in time. The actors age, the man who fell to earth doesn’t age.

You really have to pay attention. It’s beautifully shot by Tony Richmond.

There’s a lot of gorgeous frames in that film. I thought David Bowie was just at the height of his beauty and his handsomeness. Also, he was perfect as the man from another planet. He looked like he was from another planet with the right hair and the blond streak.

Frank: Some people would say he was perfectly cast for that.

Candy: He was perfectly cast for that.

Perfectly cast. You couldn’t ask for a more perfect actor, and I thought he did a fantastic job. There was a lot of

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work. We had to wear a lot of appliances and age and all that stuff you get stuck on your face. That rubber stuff that’s supposed to age you and make you look old. That takes hours to put on.

Frank: You have a cult following for The Man Who Fell to Earth and American Grafitti.

Candy: Yes, they do.

Frank: American Graffiti, I mean completely, but certainly more mainstream. Those 2 movies came around a time ... Again, I’m 45 now.

When cable television came out, there wasn’t such a glut of movies that ... For example, HBO I think was the 1 channel, the 1 station, and they were just playing those movies over and over and over again. American Graffiti more than anything. It was on constantly. I mean, constantly.

Candy: It still is.

Frank: Yeah. No doubt about it.

Candy: The thing lives on television.

It really does.

Frank: Yeah. It stands up. It’s good.

Candy: It does. It stands up. I’ve met people that have seen it thousands of times. Jeff Beck, you know the guitarist. 3,000 times he told me.

Frank: That’s amazing.

Candy: Because he wanted to replicate the car, plus he’s graffiti mad.

He built a car exactly like the yellow 5-window coupe.

Frank: Who else has walked up to you about that movie? Let’s talk specifically about American Graffiti. Who has walked up to you that threw you

for a loop and said, “I love your work in there. I love that movie.” You mentioned Jeff Back. Who else stands out?

Candy: Millions of people. I’ve done a lot of hot rod shows. I’ve traveled to Sweden twice. I’ve gone to Japan. I’ve gone across the U.S. I’ve been doing hot rod shows since 1999. Just millions of people. They’ll get teary eyed about it, talking about how they took their wife who was the girlfriend at the time to the movie, and now they’ve been married for 40 years.

They’ve built their car. They got into the pin striping business because of American Graffiti. They started collecting hot rods and collector cars because of them. They got their shop, their custom shop because of American Graffiti.

All of those oldies, you know the music. George Lucas got all of those songs, 41 songs, for $40,000.

It’s like $1,000 apiece. At that time, those artists, those musicians were, their careers were pretty well over with. They listen to the Beatles. It was disco. Oldies was passé, but it really worked in the film and it revived so many of those musicians careers and their groups got back together, and they started doing shows at fairgrounds. It just rebuilt their whole careers. I and a lot of people owe their livelihoods to American Graffiti.

Frank: You just mentioned George Lucas.

Candy: I did.

Frank: What was he like at that point? George Lucas. What was your impression of him?

Candy: He’s very, very, very quiet, introverted. I think he never really enjoyed directing, and that’s why he

went more into other people directing his stuff. He just edits. That’s what he likes to do. I never thought he’d be a billionaire if that’s what you wanted to know. He’s the one that got the idea to make the toys for Star Wars. To this day ... I was over at Target buying cat food a week or 2 ago. There’s a whole aisle to this day devoted to Star Wars toys.

Frank: It’s amazing.

Candy: To this day.

Frank: It’s amazing. Just absolutely amazing.

Candy: It is amazing.

Frank: Do you remember any of the direction he gave you?

Candy: He hired people that he thought could do the job. We would rehearse the scene. It was a low-budget film. I think all total the cost including the music was $850,000. That includes editing, music, hiring the actors, location. We shot in Petaluma, California. We didn’t have much in the way of equipment or dressing rooms.

We had no chairs. If you wanted to sit down, you had to sit on the curb or sit in one of the cars. It was very basic. We shot at night. We shot in Petaluma, California. That summer, it was so foggy and so cold. It was about 50 degrees at night, maybe less. We were supposed to be acting like it’s a hot summer evening.

It all took place in 1 night.

The whole idea was very unique.

With the interaction of the multitude of stories, plus the music interweaving, building the stories and adding to the scenes. George was quiet. He didn’t say much, but he mostly talked to his cinematographer. As the movie went on, he got thinner and thinner TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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and quieter and quieter because in the day he was editing and at night he was shooting. He was working non-stop day and night. He was very pleasant to be with. He wasn’t yelling at anyone. He was there but not there.

Candy: Because I didn’t like the script.

Frank: You mentioned George Lucas being a billionaire. If Ron Howard is not a billionaire, he’s certainly on his way to being a billionaire.

Frank: Right. Of course.

Candy: Oh, definitely.

Frank: What was your impression of him?

Candy: He was one of our true teenagers at the time. The rest of us were older. He had a little film that he had shot with his brother as the main actor. He had entered a Kodak film contest for student filmmakers, and he had won second prize. He told me about it, and he had a little viewer thing where you put your eyes up and then you hand crank it. I watched the film and it was really good. I said, “Ronny, you’re going to be a really big director one day.” He wanted me to be in this film called Eat My Dust.

Frank: Is that Roger Corman?

Candy: Yes. He directed that. I was supposed to be his romantic interest and I turned him down. He never asked me to do another thing again, so I guess he’s miffed about that.

Frank: Why did you turn him down?

TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

Frank: In retrospect, you would have done it like the script or not.

Candy: Who has 20/20 hindsight?

Candy: There’s a lot of things that I would have done that I didn’t, like buy gold when it was $45 an ounce.

It’s easy to look back on stuff. I would have done it different, but who knew at the time?

Frank: Let’s talk about your career prior to American Graffiti. How much work did you do prior?

Candy: Well, I had been in 1 film called Fat City directed by John Huston.

Frank: Wow. Candy: Yeah. I started at the top.

Frank: You’re not kidding.

Candy: That was great. That was with Jeff Bridges and Stacy Keach, Susan Tyrrell and John Huston directing, Ray Stark producing. It was just fantastic. We shot it up in Stockton, California. 2 months on Stockton. We stayed at the Holiday Inn which was next door to the civic center. The civic center offered boxing, roller derby, and salsa dancing, and it was a lot of fun.

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Brighten your yard this winter with the help of wild birds (BPT) - Bright colors aren’t often associated with winter - but they can be.

In fact, a backyard full of beautiful colors and cheerful chirps may be just a few feedings away.

If you’ve never fed wild birds before, winter is the perfect time to get started. Opening up your backyard to birds during the coldest months of the year means you are helping sustain them during a time when food and water are scarce.

“The winter months are especially tough on birds,” says Seth Estep, vice president and divisional merchandise manager at Tractor Supply Company. “By providing them with a clean water source and food to eat, you’ll not only enjoy seeing far more of them in your garden, but you’ll also be helping them survive and thrive at a time when their natural resources are being threatened.”

If you’re interested in turning your backyard into a hotspot for birds this winter, consider these tips from the experts at Tractor Supply Co.:

The basics Just like any other living creature, the survival of birds depends on their ability to find food, water and shelter.

But as temperatures drop and winter months approach, the availability of these resources dwindles.

That’s where you come in.

Attracting wild birds to your backyard is as simple as creating a space that includes these three essential elements. But remember, birds are quick learners and it won’t take long for them to grow accustomed to your generosity. In other words, if you’re going to open up your backyard to birds, it’s important to continue providing them with food and water throughout the season.

Feeding No two birds sing the same song; different types of wild birds prefer different things. Everything from the food you serve to the feeders you serve it in will vary depending on the species of bird you’re dealing with. If you’re not sure what types of wild birds are native to your area, visit the National Audubon Society’s website to find out. Once you familiarize yourself with the specific types of birds that reside in your neighborhood, you can tailor your menu to serve their favorites.

First, focus on the feeder; Tractor Supply carries a number of different style bird feeders, but before making your selection, consider where your feeder will be located. For instance, feeders should be positioned approximately 8-10 feet away from shrubbery where predators may hide. They should also be placed in a sheltered area that’s less exposed to harsh weather and strong winds.

Inclement weather and pesky predators aren’t the only harrowing threat to birds. A dirty feeder can harbor many deadly illnesses, so you’ll want to get in the habit of regularly scraping off bird droppings and disinfecting the feeding area. Make a quick and easy at-home solution by using one part vinegar and 20 parts water - just remember to wait until the feeder is completely dry before refilling.

Types of food When it comes to wild birds, there are many varieties of feed to choose from. To attract a wide array of birds, consider black oil sunflower seed.

You can also mix things up by using multiple feeders to serve different types of mixtures and blends.

A great option to consider is Royal Wing TotalCare, which is available in four blends and specifically formulated to attract all types of species, including Woodpeckers, Nuthatches and Chickadees.

Royal Wing TotalCare also makes great products containing suet. Feed containing suet acts as a substitute for natural fat, which is not only difficult to find during colder months but, upon consumption, provides birds with the calories and energy they need to endure the harsh winter elements.

The importance of water TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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Finding fresh, unfrozen water can be even more difficult for birds than finding food during winter. One or two bird baths arranged around your yard can help ensure birds have an ample source of water for drinking and bathing - which is essential to help them keep their feathers clean for flying.

When temperatures fall below freezing, a birdbath with a built-in heating element can help ensure birds are able to find the water they need.

If you already have a birdbath but it doesn’t have a heater, consider buying a drop-in heating element that sits in the bottom of the basin.

Another option suggested by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology is to place an incandescent light bulb inside a flowerpot and sit the basin on top of the pot. The heat from the bulb will help keep the water in liquid form.

Tractor Supply Company carries all the supplies a family needs to attract wild birds to their backyard, and during the month of October, the rural lifestyle store will be hosting Flocktoberfest where customers will receive great deals on products related to wild birds and poultry.

To find a local store near you, visit TractorSupply.com.

For more ideas and tips on how to attract wild birds to your backyard, visit Tractor Supply’s Know How Central.

TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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Dr. Luanne Ruona is the author of the new book

Love Is Who You Are “The book will teach you how to get back home again...to return to your source. It will show you how we got off track and why so many of the mindgenerated solutions just don’t work. It is intended to be a simple guide to help you, one you can keep with you and turn to whenever you need it.

If you are already on your path to love and inner peace, then it will help you continue to grow and stay in the love that you are.

You don’t even have to believe in the concept of love as the source of who you are to begin to use these principles for becoming healthier and happier.

Among the things that you will learn:

 Learn how your brain works and how to better use it.  Understand the mind better and its great abilities —

and its problems as well.  Use your brain and mind more effectively.  Ego-how to effectively tame and understand it.  Cognitive therapy.  Power of thought and how to harness it, as well as how your

thoughts affect your life and health.  The importance of living in the solution rather than in the

problem and how to do that.  And many simple and easy tools for reducing stress and finding the happiness and health that you deserve.

The principles in this book are simple. You’ll discover the exercises and the application of these dynamics get even easier as you use them, especially because what you are becoming is your natural state as the Love That You Are, for this is exactly what you are and were always intended to be.” – Excerpt from Love Is Who You Are by Dr. Luanne Ruona TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Dr. Luanne Ruona Frank MacKay: I’d like to welcome everyone to the Dr. Luanne Ruona Show. Frank MacKay here, but much more importantly we’re talking about the mind and we’re talking about the heart. We’re going to do that each and every week with our wonderful host, Dr. Luanne Ruona.

She is a psychiatrist by trade. She’s an author of two wonderful books and so many other articles and so forth.

Doctor, how are you?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I’m fine. It’s good to hear your voice.

Frank MacKay: Same here. I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up all the crazy stuff going on in the world. I hate to start out on a negative note. You have people that are getting into terrorism and killing people with their cars, blowing themselves up. Is this a new phenomenon? When you first started practicing, was this anything that people were concerned about or is this something new in the world?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I think it’s probably been around at real low levels.

Growing up, I didn’t see things like this, even when I was in med school, TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

which was years ago. I think people showed a lot more respect for each other.

Frank MacKay: Yeah I would hope so with how it’s going now. I think a new phenomenon is people’s

reaction to the news. But generally speaking, it could be very depressing. I’m not crazy about watching the news, because you see nothing but negativity.

Dr. Luanne Ruona: No that’s very true

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and it’s almost best to pray and send out love. It’s always good to send out.

I was reading an article that I had done with Dr. McKenzie. It’s better to send out love and that kind of energy from the inside of you. You

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I think you’re right.

The tremendous news that goes on connecting people through all these new modern things we have, people get caught up in that and they get caught up in making stories. It’s the

me be with love and let me send out love, let my heart send out love to everyone. It calms me down myself, because it will keep me from getting caught up in all these trends that are going on and all these words that all

“Our heart does not have to be broken. Our heart is a higher intelligence and if we ask our heart to be with us then the heart will be with us and it will send out positive messages to other people”. will always feel better. Don’t get caught and hooked in to the negativity that’s being splattered across the news.

Twitter and these things, while it’s good to communicate, this type of communication has become too much.

I think you are correct that the media is making too much of the negative part and we’ve got to start to talk about the hearts and the ways out of this and the ways that we can be. We can feel good within ourselves if we live from our spiritual heart. We’re all connected, all of us.

Frank MacKay: Let me remind folks that may just be tuning in or just turning on their radios, that this is Frank MacKay, but much more importantly, Dr. Luanne Ruona is our host each and every week and we encourage everyone to binge listen.

You don’t have to listen to them all in order but we encourage you to listen to everything we do. You can find us in so many different spots.

Frank MacKay: I t ’s a wo n d e r ful thought and I’m with you one hundred percent. It’s something you talk about in your book, which I am a huge fan of, “Love is Who You Are.”

Let’s keep in mind, while we’re on the subject, that this isn’t the only time of strife in the country.

We’ve had a lot of it. The depression and the war that basically ended the depression, World War II. The sixties were a time of turmoil also. It’s not like we haven’t seen this as a society, but now with the 24-hour news cycle and with the internet and with blogging and social media, it’s so much more in our face. I have to believe there would be a lot of depression around the sixties when everyone was getting assassinated.

Dr. Ruona, what do you do as far as shielding yourself? You always seem very positive and you’re this eternal optimist. What do you do as far as shielding yourself from the outside influences such as the news and everything going on out there, whether it’s turmoil or dirty politics or ineptitude in government. What do you do to shield yourself, you personally, from that?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I personally shield myself by trying to stay within my heart. I do some of those tapping exercises on myself on the acupuncture points and I do the brain balancing and I say let me be with love, let

these politicians have been saying. It breaks their heart to see this.

Our heart does not have to be broken. Our heart is a higher intelligence and if we ask our heart to be with us then the heart will be with us and it will send out positive messages to other people. Like, I think about you and Lee and I say I’m sending them love. God is sending them love.

By God, I mean whatever word that we want give to the higher being of the universe, not any one religion. It’s universal love that’s around us all. I say let me be with love.

Frank MacKay: You mentioned “tapping” earlier. I certainly appreciate that and I love that about you.

You mentioned tapping and for folks who don’t know what that is, there’s a tapping method.

Can you explain, in short, to us what the tapping method is?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: It was written originally by Roger Callahan, called “The Five Minutes Phobia Treatment.” You think about this problem, or you put your arm out and think about it and your arm will go weak when someone presses on it. Then you say I want to let go of this and your arm should TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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stay strong. If it doesn’t, you rub your chest and you say, I deeply and profoundly appreciate myself and others even though I have this problem.

Then you’ll reverse that negativity that’s going on inside you. Then you go and you tap, you tap once above the eyes, the eyebrows. Then around to the side of the eye, under the nose, the chin, under the arm and around the collar bone. Those two collar bone spots on the side of the collar bone are very energy sensitive.

If you do that three times, the phobia, the problem starts to go away and melt. There are directions in the book exactly how to do that.

Frank MacKay: It’s fascinating.

Dr. Luanne Ruona: It’s very helpful.

You can have someone you know do it to you, but you can do it to yourself.

Frank MacKay: You’ve done this with me and I was just amazed. You’re a small lady and I weigh two-hundred pounds and you showed me a situation where you said, say something that you believe and I held up my arms. You said, tell me a lie. I said something that was very weak and I had no conviction of and you were able, just with your arms, to quickly pull my arm down, even with me attempting to hold my arm back.

Then you said say something that you believe in strongly that’s empowering. I did and you tried to do the same thing. I had no idea what you were doing so it wasn’t like I was helping you along. It’s really an amazing...

Dr. Luanne Ruona: Your arm stayed strong. You were removing your love energy through your whole body and it shows you the tremendous power TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

sometimes enhances a problem and makes it worse. You’re focusing on it too much. When you find yourself focusing on a negative, say “let me be back with the positive.” This is a method to change negative selfthought and convert that negativity into positive self-thought.

“I think there’s a lot more people going to yoga, doing Pilates, eastern models of exercise and connecting. The average person is more sophisticated with what’s available”. that your thoughts…your thoughts were coming from your heart and from your energy systems. That positive thought was connecting to the words you were saying and your body stayed strong.

Frank MacKay: Is this anything close to the power of suggestion?

What they used to know as that and sometimes people talk about that in hypnosis. Is this anything related to that?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: It’s easier and it’s simpler. Just talking about a problem

I had a client who was going to get out. When he got out of jail he was going to get this person who snitched on him. I did the treatment on him and he saw that all it was doing was hurting him. When he said, “I’m going to forgive him,” his arm stayed strong and he stayed more at peace.

It’s so important that we keep our thoughts in the positive. It’s not the situation that gets us. Like the person who’s driving funny in front of you. It’s the meaning we give to it and what we tell ourselves about it.

That’s what upsets us.

Frank MacKay: If you’re just joining us, once again, Dr. Luanne Ruona is here on the Dr. Luanne Ruona show.

Frank MacKay here, co-piloting. I’m very proud and honored to do that.

You’ve got so much knowledge, not just from reading, not just from studying but from interacting with clients over the years and patients.

What do you call them?

Clients or patients?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I prefer to call them clients. Patients have a more sickly or negative feeling to it. They’re clients and they want to get better.

They go to therapy to learn that. The big thing is in therapy, especially in the kinds of therapy now that are coming out, you learn these things and you learn how to think healthier. You learn the ABCs of healthy

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thinking.

I can give rather than hanging on to this anger. The more I hang on to that, the worse it gets. Let it go. Let me come from my heart and let me be with love.

Frank MacKay: Do you notice any difference between clients today, 2016, in this era, and when you first started out? Have people changed, are they the same, are there major differences, minor differences? What can you do as far as a comparison?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: The approach of psychiatry has changed. The old method was sit and talk and that was about it. Now, the psychiatrist primarily gives some meds and sends the patients to a social worker.

The patients, the problems with self-esteem and all that are still the same, but we need to be getting these positive messages out. The positive messages are what we tell ourselves, how we think. The simple things that are in the book. If everyone could learn to do those and will do them, imagine if everyone sent out love all the time. We’ll be done with this horror going on in the world.

Frank MacKay: Let’s get back to tapping for a moment. I find it so interesting and you explain it so simple.

When would you suggest to tap? For example, if I have a bad habit of thinking negatively about something, if a negative thought comes into my mind, is that when I should tap?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: That will be good.

You can tap. Do the thing where you rub the spot on your chest and you say I deeply and profoundly accept

and appreciate love and forgive, honor and respect myself and others, even though I am having these negative thoughts.

That helps reverse the energy that’s negative and bring it to healthy. Then the body, when you tap on the spots, the energy flows better. If you want your body to be in a spot where it’s open to receive that love, to let the love energy flow through it. Any time you’re feeling that way, do that…I deeply accept myself.

The other one is to do the brain balancing, where you put your arms out, extend them and ply the fingers together and bring it up to your heart. Say, I’m breathing in what I need and I’m letting go of what I don’t need. Very simple statements.

Frank MacKay: There’s a tendency for me to believe that people nowadays are more sophisticated. They have access to more things.

Is that a valid thought? Is it something that you agree with?

People today are more sophisticated than when you first started?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: I think there’s a lot more people going to yoga, doing Pilates, eastern models of exercise and connecting. The average person is more sophisticated with what’s available.

Frank MacKay: I would think so because so much more information…it’s easier to get information out there. Do you think if you had to do it all over starting now, if you were a young medical student now, what do you think the biggest change is, in how you would use technology or additional information? What do you think would make the biggest impact on you?

Dr. Luanne Ruona: As I said, right now the medical training is very much drugs. It’s what doctors do. They see the patient for fifteen minutes and often give them some medication and then send them to someone else for treatment.

What I would do is…I was different when I started out too. I worked with self-esteem with my clients. I was to record them, and they could take the recording home and listen to it. I would bring the recording to my supervisor and they were just entranced that I dared do that. I didn’t try to cover up a mistake I may have made in the therapy or whatever. It depends on the individual approach and the individual belief.

Frank MacKay: It shows tremendous confidence if somebody is willing to bring their work completely recorded.

There’s no hiding from anything that you would say.

Dr. Luanne Ruona: Right, there’s no hiding and the client gets to hear themselves and what they’re saying and what I’ve said. When the supervisor goes along with this and says I wouldn’t have done that, but you got further than I ever would gotten with what I would have done.

That helped build my own sense of self-esteem. That’s what I was going to work with my clients and I primarily worked back in the seventies on self-esteem. Beginning with the first step, self-awareness. It’s to be aware of the problem. The big thing people have a problem with is acceptance. Acceptance of their part in the problem.

Once you get through acceptance, you take responsibility for it.

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responsibility for someone else, all you’re doing is adding to that. You take responsibility for yourself and pray about your part of it, ask for sympathy, ask to let go, ask for forgiveness. Stay with those kinds of thoughts.

Finally search yourself. You learn to search yourself for what’s important to you.

Frank MacKay: If you’re just tuning in, once again, or if you’re just turning on your radio, Frank MacKay here on the Dr. Luanne Ruona Show, with our host Dr. Luanne Ruona. She is the author of two wonderful books and so much more. The name of the book is “Love Is Who You Are,” which says a lot.

“Total Glow” is her book from the seventies that made such an incredible impact. When you look back on it now, you realize how cutting edge it was and how it was before its time.

I say the same thing with your new book. It’s just wonderful.

“Love Is Who You Are.”

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If you could address that. We have about two minutes left with Dr. Luanne Ruona on the Dr. Luanne Ruona Show.

Frank MacKay: That’s absolutely beautiful. It says a lot. “Love Is Who You Are” is a great book and it’s a great statement.

“Love Is Who You Are.” Give us a little bit of an explanation on that.

The statement.

Dr. Luanne Ruona, I want to thank you once again for your wisdom here. We look forward to hearing more.

Dr. Luanne Ruona: Most people through their lifetime have wondered, who am I? Where did I come from? How did I get here? The eternal question has plagued mankind forever. Am I just a child of these people or that race or this nation or this color? How long have I been here? Am I just a group of particles floating around like the geneticists would say?

I say it’s none of those. It’s that we’re created with love. Love is the beautiful answer. Love is everywhere and love is who we are. The soul that rises with us, our life’s star, hath had elsewhere its setting. And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, and not in utter nakedness, but trailing clouds of glory do we come From God, who is our home.

We’re on the Dr. Luanne Ruona Show each and every week.

We encourage people to binge listen to us.

Dr. Luanne Ruona, thank you very much for the information.

Dr. Luanne Ruona: Thank you. I enjoy being with your audience and with you very much. The more we can spread the word of love and the heart, the better off the world will be.

(BPT) - Take a look at your family. How many changes have crept in since last year? And one year from now, when it’s time to send out holiday cards again, think about how much more they will have changed.

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4 ways to make your family’s holiday portraits shine

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Sending a family photograph

What better way to call back to the family roots that tie your loved ones together?

as your holiday card is one way to share with your friends and loved ones the joy and pride your family makes you feel. But more importantly, as the years pass, the holiday memories within these pictures will become more and

You can express this by pulling from your family heritage

more precious.

It certainly is easy enough to have a friend snap some pictures on a smartphone and print off a stack of copies with a pre-designed template. But if you take the idea a couple of steps further, booking a session with a professional photographer will result in stunning cards that people will love to display and keep. In addition to that, you’ll have framed gifts to wrap up for your loved ones.

alter the finished product. To prepare for this, choose a color and style that is clean, uniform and classic - something that would be set off by a holiday-themed border when you’re designing your card layout. In the end, the goal is to draw the eye to the face, which is what the classic style emphasizes more than anything.

The advantage to using a professional photographer is that they have the skills and artistic ability to make beautiful images that you will cherish forever. In addition to that, they can partner with you to create a style and effect that matches your family’s unique personality. To get you started, here are four different styles that just might capture your family’s personality and the magic of the holiday spirit.

This style ditches the formal posing and creates a relaxed, candid feel.

You come as you are, perhaps using a setting that is familiar and comfortable to your family, such as building a snowman in your backyard or taking a hike through the winter woods.

Whatever you bring to the shoot, the idea is to showcase your family relaxed and happy together.

Classic

This style takes the modern approach to a highly specialized, highly individualized level and uses special effects and editing to convey humor or a sense of drama. For example, perhaps your holiday portrait could

Simple yet timeless, this background is often neutral with the family sitting in formal poses. The photographer is less likely to use editing effects to TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

Modern

Eclectic

feature your family members forming a human ladder to place a star on the top of the tree. Look for a photographer with the savvy and technique to pull off these specific effects and dramatic images.

What’s old is once again new. What better way to call back to the family roots that tie your loved ones together? You can express this by pulling from your family heritage.

For example, you could dress your daughter in your childhood velvet dress. Or include your grandfather’s vintage toy train set as a prop. Some photographers specialize in black and white photography, as well as sepia effects. Of course, if you really want to try an authentic and timeless look, some photographers are experimenting with glass plate photography.

Which style of photography is right for you and your family? Take a “Family Photography Style quiz” and, once you’re ready for your new photo session, check out findaphotographer.com to find the right photographer for you and in your city.

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Tree trimming 101: Dazzling decorating easy as 1-2-3 (BPT) - Shiny silver and gold, the warm glow of lights, dazzling bursts of color - O Christmas tree, your magic helps fill our homes with laughter and love during this merriest of seasons. And while gathering together to trim the tree is a beloved family tradition for many of us, let’s be honest; for others, it’s an intimidating decorating nightmare. But don’t be overwhelmed, it’s easy to go from dazed to dazzling with a few insider tips.

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Step one: Find the tree that fits your lifestyle.

Designer John Griffith decorates dozens of trees and leads holiday design seminars for dinnerware giant, Replacements, Ltd. Griffith recognizes since we all live in different spaces, the picture perfect 7-foot tree won’t work for everyone.

“People like myself who live in apartments, condos or smaller living areas often feel stuck having to get a tiny tree because of limited space, when there are so many more options,”

“Blown glass ornaments have really kept their popularity,” Griffith says. “Flat trees, which are very low profile and sit close to the wall, are perfect for tight spaces. Half round trees are another great option because they’re basically half a tree, while corner trees reflect their name because they’re shaped to fit into corners. These types of artificial trees create the impact of having a larger tree that in reality doesn’t take up all that much room.”

Annual holiday collectible ornaments are sentimental decorating favorites

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Step two: Light it up.

Once you find the perfect tree, figure out how many lights you really need.

Griffith suggests using at least 150 lights per foot of tree to decorate just the tips. For more depth, use at least 250 lights per foot.

And consider LED lights. Griffith notes that while upgrading to LEDs may be expensive initially, they’re a

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good investment in that these lights burn much cooler, last longer and are more energy efficient.

Step three: Think in thirds.

One of Griffith’s best practices: decorate in thirds.

“This is one of the easiest ways to make sure your tree is balanced from a decorating standpoint,” says Griffith. “Start by looking at your tree as what it is, a huge cone, then section it off in thirds around the tree.

For example, if you have 1,500 lights, use 500 for one section, 500 for the middle and 500 for the last section.

Do the same thing with your ornaments by dividing them into three groups before you start arranging those on the tree.”

Stylize with ornaments.

While lights create seasonal glow, ornaments dazzle and delight, bringing out the child in all of us. Our choice of ornaments reflect more than individual style and taste - they’re distinctively sentimental.

“Annual ornaments are always popular from a nostalgic standpoint because of the special memories connected to each one,” says collectibles specialist Kristen Pulley.

“For instance, those made by Lenox China are very dear to me because of my two daughters. I started a collection for each of them when they were born - I began the teddy bear series for one and the gingerbread man for the other. As they got older and started decorating the tree, they liked them so much that now I have to get two of each series every year. It’s become part of our family tradition.”

Among Replacements’ most sought after holiday annuals, the Wallace Sleigh Bell and Gorham Snowflake collections remain family favorites, having been in production going on 50 years.

“Blown glass ornaments have really kept their popularity,” adds Pulley.

“Production costs have gotten less expensive without compromising the quality making these more affordable to collect. For instance, Merck Family’s Old World Christmas ornaments are huge sellers, because you can find everything from traditional ornaments to fun, off the wall ones such as a piece of sushi or even Chinese takeout boxes.”

What’s hot for 2016?

Griffith says one of this year’s big decorating trends centers on monochromatic, such as using the same color lights (regardless of the hue) with ornaments in either all silver or all gold, but not both.

“One of my favorite techniques is adding bullion to a tree,” Griffith says.

“Bullion is a very thin wire you add on the outside tips in geometric shapes that gives the tree a different kind of texture, movement and depth. It really adds richness to the tree, and the way the light reflects off this wire looks very luxe.”

Finally, Griffith notes no tree is complete without an over-the-top tree topper. Really nice bows made from high quality ribbon look lovely, while he favors using feathers, branches, floral stems and other natural elements to put an exclamation point on the top of the tree. With these great tips, it should be easy to find your own flair to kick-off what’s sure to be a memorable holiday entertaining season.

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Lydia Cornell Lydia Cornell is an awardwinning comedienne, writer and actress. Lydia starred as “Sara” — Ted Knight’s daughter and Audrey Meadows’ granddaughter — in Too Close For Comfort — a top rated ABC series that has been in worldwide syndication for years.

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Frank: Lydia Cornell is my very special guest. Thrilled and honored to have you, Lydia. How are you?

Lydia: I’m thrilled to talk to you finally, Frank. I hear wonderful things about you. You have a great show, and I’m so excited to be in New York City right now. I love New York. New York.

Frank: New York.

Lydia: I love the way you said honored. Honored.

Frank: So many people point out my accent. I’ve always been under the impression that I have no accent.

Lydia: I’m from El Paso, Texas, originally, so we speak wide and broad because the states are wider. I already figured out it’s more vertical out here.

Everything’s squished together so you talk narrower, narrow.

Frank: That was my first question.

I was going to ask you a little bit of your biography and a little bit of your history. Texas, we know. Where were you born and where were you raised?

Lydia: I was born in El Paso, Texas, right on the border of Ciudad, Mexico, and the most important thing I learned was to speak Spanish fluently from kindergarten all the way to 11 years old.

Frank: Whoa. Very good.

Lydia: That’s the one thing I’m grateful for because El Paso’s pretty dry and desert. Then we moved to Scarsdale, New York, when I was 11.

Frank: Wow. Lydia: It was a culture shock. I

learned to say pants and pocketbook. El Paso was slacks and purse.

It was just so hard. It’s a totally different language out here in New York.

Frank: Let me ask you about that.

Who was it for you? Who was your hero? Was it Chris Everett? Who did you like as a tennis player?

Frank: I imagine there’s a bigger culture shock than that. Is El Paso, and pardon my ignorance on this, is it a direct border town? Is it like, you’re there, and then there’s Mexico?

Lydia: Yes, Chris Everett. Chris Everett. I loved her, and Bjorn Borg.

Lydia: Yeah. In fact, the Rio Grande river, and it’s beautiful mountains.

There’s the Thunderbird Mountains and the Purple Hills. There’s a lot of cactus, hardly any trees. I would horseback ride a lot. It’s the Wild West, it’s out in Cowboy Country. We always went to Santa Fe or Ruidoso, New Mexico or Cloudcroft, different mountain ridges for vacations. We’d go camping up in the mountains, but El Paso’s pretty dry and not a lot of culture there. I don’t want to insult El Paso. I like it. I love it. I grew up there.

Frank: I get it.

Lydia: I played in the junior tennis circuit. It’s all I knew until I moved to New York and then I had never seen trees like that in Westchester County.

Big trees everywhere.

Frank: Scarsdale is a beautiful area.

You touched on the tennis circuit.

Were you thinking in your mind professional tennis? Was that somewhere you wanted to go?

Lydia: As a little girl, I was. They kept trying to put me into the Junior Olympics. I was a member of the El Paso Tennis Club. It’s a club you go to.

You swim and you play tennis all day long. Wonderful. I was pretty good.

Then we moved away, and I never really played again, so I play for fun when I play.

Frank: Those guys made it all of a sudden sexy, and I don’t mean it in that way.

Lydia: I know.

Frank: You went from Rod Laver and the early, real conservative looking folks to the guys with the long hair, and Chris Everett. She looked like a model or something playing tennis.

Lydia: Yeah, she was cute. There was something sexy about it, yeah.

Frank: Yeah.

Lydia: When you say sexy, I know what you mean like headline grabbing!

Frank: All of a sudden --interesting, tennis is something that could fall between the cracks and not be too interesting. When you got to Scarsdale, what happened? I know there’s culture shock, how much is there?

Lydia: I said, “Yes ma’am” and “Yes sir,” I curtsied to people, they thought I was a real odd. Hysterical.

Frank: Do you have brothers and sisters?

Lydia: Yes, I have a brother Paul and a sister Kathy and my mom and dad. We moved, it was a culture shock. My dad was born in Russia and grew up in Shanghai playing violin.

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would say to me, “You are related to General Kornilov, his statues are all over Russia.” I never knew that until I started researching him.

Frank: No kidding, wow, that’s interesting. Go ahead.

Lydia: My dad, he wore a cowboy hat and he tried to be a roofer, he owned a roofing and building company in Texas, but it didn’t suit him at all. He couldn’t even speak English very well. Russian cowboy.

Frank: What did he do up here?

Lydia: He loved Rawhide by the way. He met a childhood friend and brought us to New York and started working in a shipping and container company called Inter-pool, and somebody saw it thought he was working for Interpol, so they kept confusing the two. He wasn’t with the international police, but Inter-pool. Then we went to Holland.

Frank: Yeah, you moved to Holland or you visited to Holland?

Lydia: They moved to Holland and I went to college in Boulder, Colorado.

I went to the University in Colorado and my family moved to The Hague.

Dad was working in Rotterdam, he had an office in Rotterdam because he spoke Russian, Chinese, a little French he was kind of an international person. It was fun going to visit them in Holland at Christmas.

Frank: Let me remind some folks if you’re just tuning in or if you’re just turning on your radio, this is Frank Mackay, but much more importantly is a wonderful actress, writer, artist, mother and so many other things. I see inventor too, Lydia Cornell our very special guest and she does so many things so well. I love you on all TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

your work, Curb Your Enthusiasm, I saw you on that, on Too Close For Comfort, everyone remembers you as Ted Knights daughter.

Lydia: Sara Rush.

Frank: Yeah, right.

What an interesting career. I see pictures of you and you look like a kid, I don’t know if you’ve found the fountain of youth or what, but you look like a kid.

Lydia: Thank you.

Oh, you’re so sweet.

I’m always going to be a kid, I’m very immature, and really been that way there’s no turning back now.

I think it’s actually the childlike spirit in all of us that keeps us young and I don’t really think about age. I really believe in creating one’s reality, the more you focus on the good in life, the more that good comes your way.

It is a view finder, it’s in your picture. You can’t really ... If you’re thinking good thoughts all day long you can’t really stumble upon disease and misfortune as easily. The trauma and the tragedy in life, every tragedy I always somehow turn into comedy.

I don’t know how it’s working? There were some very dark years, you know, there are dark years in everyone’s life, and I’ve had a lot of tragedy, but I happen to be an optimist, you know.

“I really believe in creating one’s reality, the more you focus on the good in life, the more that good comes your way.”

It helps.

Frank: Yeah, I’m an optimist. Are you an optimist by nature or did you train yourself to be an optimist?

Lydia: To be honest I had a very critical mother, I love her dearly, thank God she’s still here with us.

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A very critical parent makes a child want to escape, and no one comes to Hollywood unless they’re a little bit broken. I was seeking love from strangers, seeking adoration from strangers. When you come to LA to become famous, it’s a really hollow dream, so I don’t personally advise anyone to come to Hollywood unless they’re really whole inside, because they’re going to be rejected constantly. Constant rejection. I got really lucky right away. I had to learn ... on the other end of that. I had a crash and burn, and a spiritual awakening, and I really believe that you have to go through some fire in life to strengthen yourself and find courage.

I don’t know ….as a child I was really creative and imaginative and happy, and everything was magical to me. I lived in a universe of creating my own, I had a secret village and pretend friends. I was the only friend in the plays I was doing, theater productions.

Frank: That’s very creative. I have 4 kids and whenever they were creating something, creating a world and imaginary friends, I always encouraged that I tried not to embarrass them because I didn’t want them to stop doing it. I wanted them to continue doing it. My wife and I take a different approach. If they take out the garbage we’re like, “Wow, that was great how you just did that on your own!” We’re maybe a little too much the other way.

Lydia: Wow, I wish I had you as parents.

Frank: Let me ask you, how would it have been different if ... And again, my parents weren’t like that, I had a great mom and I loved her dearly, she passed away, but there was a lot of

negativity growing up ...

Lydia: God bless you.

Frank: How would things have been different, do you think, if you didn’t have the constant criticism from your mother? You think you would have emerged differently, you’ve had a pretty successful life.

Lydia: Thank you, I would have been a lot quicker to get my real work out to the world which is the writing. I’m trying to launch the volcano of art that is inside. Everyone has something inside them that they really want to do and it wasn’t exactly playing dumb blondes on TV, although that was a really wonderful, incredible experience. My mother was also extremely worried about how I looked all the time. She had to have everything in place. I had to have my hair in braids. I looked like Cloris Leachman in Young Frankenstein! She braided and put a sausage maker bun on the top of my head!

She had me with these big braids across the top of my head.

I was a goody-goody two shoes, I had to have every hair in place, little white gloves, curtsy and bowing to adults, never speak unless spoken to.

Little girls were supposed to be quiet and be beautiful, and she taught me that beauty was all that mattered.

God bless her, she was born in Texas and that’s how they are. I really want young women to feel that they are just as equal to men, in at least as far as creativity and imagination and being able to succeed in life. You have 4 kids. I envy you. I wish I had more kids. I love kids. My favorite job I’ve ever had in life is being a mom, it’s the best thing.

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me like that, and I laugh-- I laugh it off. There’s a strange double edged sword there. I don’t want to be ball buster and hurt their feelings, but they look at me like a sex object or as a bombshell from TV, and they go, “Wow, you didn’t age at all, you look good.” It’s okay, I’m flattered. At the same time, I’m never allowed to go out of the house looking really bad, or I feel it’s a bad day. I need to try it, no makeup and no cleavage. I think it’s an awesome cleavage actually. I mean it’s an awesome cleavage because all humans need Prada and Victoria Secret.

equal. We have 3 boys and then our baby, she’s now 13, she’s no longer a baby, she’s our first girl. I remember that when we first found out that she was going to be a girl, we went and we got lobsters, we went right after the sonogram, we sat there and we talked about it and we realized at that moment ... My wife, a very independent woman, I’d be thrilled if my daughter grows up to be my wife. We talked about what a different world it is for women than it is for men. It really is an easier world for men. I hate to say it, I hate to justify it, but it’s a man’s world, it still is. It’s horrible, but it is.

Lydia: I can’t believe it, I toured the country with Tom Hanks in the 80’s on ABC and they sent us around the nation on that beautiful first class plane tour. We visited all the affiliated networks. He was with Bosom TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

buddies, that was a hit ABC show as was A Little Close For Comfort. We had a blast doing this, but I thought this is easy that women are more in demand than men. I figured that my movie career would take off. His just took off like lightning, and it was interesting because I forgot about how hard it is for women to transition from TV to film. Back then it was almost impossible. Until Friends came on the air, it was really hard for any actor to go from TV to film.

Tom Hanks did it of course and he was really unique and a wonderful talent. It’s interesting how men objectify women, they look at you like an object. I have that even today, they look at me and they go, “Hey you’re looking good bombshell,” and they go, “Turn around let me look at you.” I have men in my life that are good friends that treat

Frank: Let me ask you, is it getting better? Worse? Or is it staying the same, I imagine that ... And because of political correctness, which by the way I know a lot of our listeners are cringing when I say ... But political correctness has been helpful. My kids are growing up in a better world than I did, there’s no doubt. My sons, and we’re very, very careful about how we interacted together. If we had a disagreement we’d talk about it privately, we’d never yell at each other, we’d never curse at each other. I figured that these three guys one day will have, I assume traditional, that they’re going to have wives one day.

We want them to be good parents.

We want them to be good husbands.

How are they going to learn that if I’m saying something stupid or I’m being belittling or something along those lines.

Lydia: Exactly.

Frank: With my daughter, it’s even more important that I never say anything to my wife, not that I would privately, but it’s very careful, we are very careful not to ...

Lydia: You sound wonderfully evolved, you’re so evolved, you

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really sound like a great father and husband.

Frank: We try, I guess we’ll see how we did as parents when we see how well as we do as parents. Let me get back to the question. It’s getting better, we both agree it’s getting better. What needs to happen for it to get much better for women?

Lydia: First of all I think the internet has made it worse because of ... I hate to say that name, the Kardashians, or the crazy shock jock mentality of the internet. It’s like when it bleeds it leads, or if there’s boobs that leads to weird pornographic material, I cannot stand the internet at times.

It’s shaming everyone - shaming people for being honest, then we’re shaming them for being ugly, fat or even sexy. We’re objectifying everybody, I don’t really know. I think it starts with parents and then starts with mentors at school, and actually getting our heads out of the cellphone. I don’t want to be complaining. I want to find solutions, the positive in life, there’s a lot of positive going on too though. A lot of people are finding their tribe online, you’re finding groups of people that believe they have similar values, which is good. There is more spirituality or love and moral behavior actually.

We are kind of becoming a mob mentality where we’re hanging people for saying one bad word, it’s

very strange. I’m trying to figure out what the balance would be. What do you think?

Frank: I agree with you about objectifying women, at the same time I don’t blame women that are trying to get work, if they have a beautiful body or a beautiful face to utilize it.

Lydia: Right.

Frank: You’re a beautiful women you needed to take sexy pictures and it was helpful to your career, so I don’t blame them. As far as the internet goes, that’s just going to come with the territory, people are going to do that. You bring up the Kardashians, we don’t want to sit here and slam Kardashians. I always call it the “Snookification” of America. You know when Snookie and women like that came. You know I’ve had them on the show or on different shows, things like that. They’re not trying to write and they’re not trying to get their feelings out, women like that ...

I hate to say women like that because its generalizing, what you’re doing and what so many other beautiful women that made in part because of their looks, you’ve developed and you’ve evolved and you’ve got all these different talents and these skills that you want to do. I applaud that but I don’t think you’re going to see it out of Jersey Shore.

Lydia: Maybe later, maybe when

they’re no longer in the limelight, that’s when you have to find your soul in a pornographic world. The thing in my book is finding your soul in a pornographic world. I’m writing a book called, “Hiding my brain in my bra.” A top secret title right now, but you know I’m saying it out loud, but it’s about raising aliens, living with a Neanderthal, they’re getting divorced and finding the good in every bad thing that happen to you.

Also the dumbest things that I ever did.

Frank: They’ve got to buy the book to say that. Or are you going to tell us the dumbest thing you ever did?

Lydia: Well first of all, there are so many that I can’t pick one right now but I’ll come back on your show and tell you closer to the time.

ABC was the one that put me in the bikini posters, I didn’t choose that at all. In fact I wore a virginal white dress for the audition and it was all comedy. Then they decided to put me in a bikini and Ted Knight got mad that I was on the cover of magazines and he wasn’t. He didn’t look good in a bikini, that’s all.

Frank: Give us a website before we go to break. Give us a website or a social media site where people can follow your career.

Lydia: You can find everything

“I cannot stand the internet at times. It’s shaming everyone - shaming people for being honest, then we’re shaming them for being ugly, fat or even sexy.”

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on lydiacornell.com. There’s my Facebook, my Twitter, my Instagram and all the current things going on.

Frank: You’ve got everything there, and you’ve got so many followers and so many fans and they get it.

Lydia: Aw, and I love them.

You didn’t say this but you were the breakthrough star there and the men loved you and the people loved your character.

Lydia: Thank you.

Frank: The other thing is, ABC knows how to sell a show, and that was after

Frank: Was there anybody that you were looking at, I hate to say mentor, because it sounds so trite.

Were there women at the time that you were looking towards as role models that broke out of that mold themselves?

Lydia: The biggest role model I had

“You have to see the good, in every relationship there is something valuable there, and you have to forgive and move forward and not hang onto resentment”.

Frank: I’m sure many of them are men, drooling men but I think there’s more than that on there. I follow you on Facebook and we have Twitter in common. I think people read what you are involved with. I think they have a tremendous amount of respect for you. Let me just let everyone know that we’re coming to a quick break, Lydia Cornell, actress, Lydia Cornell is our very special guest, Frank Mackay here will be back right after this break.

Lydia: Thank you Frank, what a sweet introduction, you have the best heart I can tell you are a really kind and wonderful person. I love the way you interview.

Frank: I love following your posts, and again people see a very lovely lady, a very beautiful lady and you said “Bombshell” and people see you like that, but when you start reading about all the things that you’re interested in, you certainly went on to do great things. You mentioned that Ted Knight got mad that you were on the magazine covers, even though he was the star of the show.

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Charlie’s Angels, that was way after that, but Charlie’s Angels, Jacqueline Smith, I always saw Jacqueline Smith as a very classy looking lady and a very classy lady, and she’s done a lot like you have. She was in bikinis and she was in hot pants but I guess ABC knows how to use the assets of their stars and it’s hard to complain when it works.

Lydia: I know, he actually got mad at me for eating starch. They caught me with a bag of M&M’s, a burrito and a hamburger, and they yelled, “Don’t you know you’re a sex symbol, don’t you know you can’t eat starch.”

I dropped all my food and went running to my dressing room. I had to stay super beautiful all the time.

That’s a curse. It’s hard to be looked at for how beautiful you are. The category I was in, men didn’t really want to hear what you have to say.

You have to kind of dumb yourself down, and in Hollywood, women do have to speak a little slower, they have to speak a little more sexy, and they have to use their voice. You kind of have to be quiet to get attention, it’s really strange.

of all time was Audrey Hepburn. She was poised and beautiful, remember Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

Frank: Yep. Lydia: She had humor and delightful humor and she was humble. She did a lot of humanitarian work which I do as well. By the way I’m mentoring teen girls, trying to keep their clothes back on, I don’t like this over sexualization of young people. I think we’ve got to stop it. The ads for young girls wearing sexy short shorts, I mean I had a young 12 year old girl come ... My son had a classmate and she was 12. She was 6 foot 1, wore volley ball shorts, she looked like a Victoria Secret model. I’m like, “Jack stop staring.” My son was 13 and he bought a book called, “How to pick up girls by being funny.” He learned all these tricks! I had to spy on him on the internet one day. He’s a pretty good kid.

Frank: How old is he?

Lydia: He’s 22.

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Frank: How did he do with the girls?

Did the books work? How to pick up girls and being funny…

Lydia: Yes, it worked. Oh my gosh, if he ever hears this show he’ll kill me, but you know how it is. Teenagers are not nice people. He doesn’t like stand-up comedy. I have 3 boys and 2 dogs-- including my husband --and they all went through puberty at the same time. I was trying to become more shallow! I actually had a really amazing story about marriage and divorce and how you can find the love and the good, even in a divorce.

You have to see the good, in every relationship there is something valuable there, and you have to forgive and move forward and not hang onto resentment. My son turned out pretty good and I have a stepson as well and he’s 20. I’m really grateful we married.

Frank: Are you the type that doesn’t like to be single, or is uncomfortable being single?

Lydia: Yeah, I don’t like being single, I’ve been single this long. I’m debating whether I should start with dating sites, but I have a couple of guys I’m sort of seeing. Dipping my toe in the water a little.

Frank: You’ve got to be kidding me. If you went on dating sites that’s crazy, you’re kidding!

Lydia: I don’t know.

Lydia: That is true, yes and there are several options and they probably need ... am I dating anyone at the moment? No, I’m just beginning to date a couple of people and just see if I like them and not go too fast.

You know, I used to fall in love really quick, and then you discover who they really are! It never works out well that way.

Frank: Are you getting better at picking mates for yourself, or picking significant others for yourself? Do you think you’re getting better?

Lydia: I don’t know, I hope so, yeah.

I love a certain type. I like big noses, I like the New Yorker type, it’s really interesting. I don’t want to get in trouble for saying any of this stuff anyway. It’s the inner quality, a man who is really confident and puts his arm around you and is sort of the boss. I do like a man who is a manly man. I don’t want someone who you have to coax to ask you on a date, which is “What are you doing this weekend?” Women hate that when a guy says, “What are you doing this weekend?” Just come out and ask me out already, be firm and make

book to literary agents and publishers and I’m pitching a TV show for networks right now based on aliens and all these funny stories. I feel that the art, often when I get distracted by a relationship I don’t finish what I’m really wanting to do. I want to be more sensitive in life right now.

I think I will meet my soulmate on the other end of this or during this process. That’s my goal is to meet somebody and fall in love and stay married forever from this point on.

I’m getting close, I’m getting close to now accepting that this is the time. The past couple of years I’ve been moving my parents out of their home, taking care of them as they go in and out of hospitals and it’s that thing where we’re taking care of our parents now. I had to put a lot of things on hold and do that. My son just graduated college, he was nearby, thank God.

I’m ready, I’m getting ready I can feel it.

Frank: Let me remind people once again that Lydia Cornell is the voice you’re hearing, Frank Mackay here

“That’s my goal is to meet somebody and fall in love and stay married forever from this point on”.

Frank: I can imagine anyone that has seen you that you’re constantly being asked out, different people are trying to set you up.

the plans.

Frank: Do you seriously have a hard time finding the right guy?

with Lydia and you’re being very generous with your time. Are you in New York on business, pleasure or something in between?

Lydia: They are.

Lydia: I’m a little picky right now, tell you the truth. Right now, I’m in the launch phase of my art coming out in the world. I’m submitting my

Lydia: I came here for my high school reunion which I won’t mention the year because I don’t believe in talking about age.

Frank: That’s not happening?

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“We’re booked actually for 14 episode, like a Curb Your Enthusiasm or Louie CK kind of series”.

Frank: It would be easy enough to find out how old you are, and you look 30. It doesn’t matter how old you are. How was the reunion?

Lydia: It was this whole weekend and it was fantastic, oh my gosh. I never knew I liked these people so much as I like them now. In high school, I was a nerd and a drama geek and I didn’t look up. I was like a zombie. I was so shy. Being transferred from El Paso Texas, I didn’t fit in at all. I wanted to be Jewish in the worst way. I wanted to be a Jewish male comic and parents won’t support it. I didn’t fit in at all.

Frank: What happened at the reunion?

Lydia: It was fun. We all gathered and got know each other for two days and I am just recovering from that right now. I’m going to stay in New York for a few more days and explore the city and I have lots of friends here. I want to catch up with people, and do some rewrites. It’s very inspirational to be in New York again, I love this city. I haven’t been here since before 9/11.

Frank: Wow, oh wow, that’s a long time ago.

Lydia: My kids were little.

Frank: I know. It’s crazy, that’s a long time.

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Lydia: My kids were little tiny kids when 9/11 happened. When they were, 3 or 4.

Frank: You mentioned pitching a show, when you say you’re pitching a show is it you and your manager, you and your agent, you and other people, you and a partner?

Lydia: I have a partner. I have a female writing partner who is brilliant. She writes FBI dramas, she never did comedy before but she fell madly in love with the stories in my book which are really all true stories. So, we’re on this cool track right now and we’re getting ready to go back out there, reconnect when we go back to LA. Networks are taking pictures, broadcast cast networks are ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox. The cable networks are all the others. FX, Showtime, HBO they go on all year, you can pitch all year to those.

Frank: There’s so much more than that, now that you have Netflix, obviously they’re doing their thing and there are all types of Over The Top outlets that are doing it. Again, you were a star on a show in Prime Time, and I don’t know that Prime time even exists anymore. If it still does, I don’t know how long it’s going to last. Maybe everyone that’s out there pitching probably has to keep that in mind. What’s the name of the show?

Lydia: Well actually we have really good things happening with the

show already. We’re booked actually for 14 episode, like a Curb Your Enthusiasm or Louie CK kind of series.

The book itself, and then inside the book are two other series. I can’t say the title yet, so I’m going to hold off on that until I come back the next time. It’s exciting and fun to push something forward that you believe in, that came naturally, the comedy just comes naturally. I don’t care about staring in it, which is the best thing. I’d like to be the executive producer and then do a Larry David -eventually be able to act in my own work.

Frank: He’s amazing.

Lydia: It’s nice to work for yourself.

Isn’t Larry David funny?

Frank: Yeah, oh he’s amazing talent.

Did you know him before you did Curb’ or did you meet him through that?

Lydia: No, my ex-boyfriend was Robert B. Weide and he directed and exec produced a lot of the curbs and he said, “Come on in, read with Larry.”

I said, “Oh, I’m scared, what do you mean I’ve got to read with him?” He said, “No, improv.” You have to make up your own lines completely, there’s no script whatsoever. He gives you a tiny tid-bit of information and you have to develop a whole thing. I did it, it was so much fun and Larry hired me right on the spot. Then I got the part.

Frank: Wow, was he improv-ing with you or was he watching you with a casting eye?

Lydia: No, he improved with me.

He was just filming it in his room and stood there. He walked in and he asked the question and I talked back. “I want to buy a bra,” and I said,

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“Oh, for your wife?” He says, “No for my maid.” Then I said, “Oh, a French maid’s outfit?” And he goes, “No, no, no not one of those.” Then I go, “Well do you know her size? Is she half a handful or a handful?” I said “A watermelon or a cantaloupe?” He loved it and roared with laughter and then I got the part. In the actual filming it was totally different. He did something else. He touched the fabric and he rubbed it on his face and he said, “Why don’t they make these for men, bras for me?” I said, “Feel free to go try it on,” He loved that I made fun of him like that. It was fun to work with him. We just clicked together. It was really neat.

Frank: Listen go back to your first stage performance that you can remember, either on stage in high school, you said you were a drama geek. That to me says you were involved with the drama club, you went to all the plays. What was the first time you were actually on stage?

She’d lay down and look at you with head ... She was the most incredible dog. She would look worried for you all the time, she was so thoughtful I never met a dog like that before.

She was just like a German Shepherd face, and a little Chihuahua body.

Lydia: It was in ... There’s a dog barking in the back, that’s my sweet little dog.

Frank: Back to stage. What was your first performance on stage? You’re at high school, junior high school?

Where was it?

Frank: That’s your dog? What kind of dog is it?

Lydia: Well, there’s three dogs here visiting. I’m visiting a friend in this beautiful, gorgeous, stunning place.

Frank: I’ve got dogs.

Lydia: I love dogs, oh my gosh, we had a German Shepherd Chihuahua mix.

Frank: That’s a scary thought. Was it big or little?

Lydia: It was little but a great dog.

Frank: Wow, that’s nice, that’s a nice combo.

Lydia: We did the DNA and came out German Shepherd Chihuahua, can you believe that? Which was the father and the mother.

Frank: It’s kind of like a weird gene splice almost, something you’d make in a laboratory, not in real life.

Incredible, go back to it.

Lydia: Okay, sorry.

Frank: That’s okay, I have a Puggle, and now we have a Shih Tzu puppy.

Lydia: My favorite.

Lydia: Okay I started my own theater company. When I was a little girl I had an actual theater and a stage and a play and curtains in the back yard in a sand box. I did plays every week, and I’d play the boy, nobody in the neighborhood played a boy, so I had to be the prince. Later in life at the Y, I did acting classes and in Junior high I did an improve sketch comedy, thing and I got into the drama club in high school, took acting classes and I did ... What’s the famous?

Frank: A play?

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drama class. The main play on stage at Scarsdale High was called Enemy of the People, by Ibsen, I played Petra.

My best friend was a gay boy in High school, Monroe and ...

Frank: Really you said Monroe?

Lydia: Monroe.

Frank: Is that where ... Oh my God, that’s where Jim Jay Bullocks charter came from?

Lydia: You won’t believe the story.

In high school I had only one real good friend. I was such a shy nerd. I met this gay guy, this wonderful gay friend, and we went to New York City to the theater and pretended to be Russian. We were using fake accents everywhere. We were always play acting, we got in trouble because this Russian lady said, “Are you speaking Russian?” We even went to the prom together because my parents wouldn’t let me date! Then when I went to Hollywood the producers took me to lunch after I got the part in Too Close For Comfort, and they said, “Do you have any crazy friends?”

I said, “Well, Monroe.” They had the nerve to name Jim Monroe. I never got to speak to my friend again. I found that he died 10 years ago. I couldn’t find my Monroe for years, I tried it was interesting, I didn’t know what happened to him all these years.

Frank: Wow, that’s something, I

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would think that ... Because Monroe was a lovable character, Jim Jay Bullock was a lovable character, on the show. You don’t think he liked that? You don’t think he liked being immortalized on film, on small screen?

Lydia: I don’t know. It’s strange I kept calling his parents to find out where he was and never got further.

I couldn’t find him. I was also caught up in being celebrity. I was always out in the public having a life back then. When I did finally try and find him seriously he’d already died. It was really sad.

Frank: E v e r y o n e s h o u l d g o LydiaCornell.com and see what’s going on and await news on some exciting things happening. The show and books, hopefully a string of books.

Lydia: Books coming out, stand-up comedy I’m doing at the Warehouse, I have a charity comedy, I’m also on the board of advisors for State Horizons, to help young women get engineering in standard education, the Gloria Steinem Foundation. I’m also doing charitable work for muscular dystrophy.

Frank: We could do a whole show on that, and we should. Lydia Cornell, thank you very, very much for being here.

Lydia: Thank you, Frank.

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10 time-

saving tips for the holidays

1. Host a decorating party:

3. Take shortcuts:

Decorating can be extremely timeconsuming, but not as much when you have help. Invite friends and family over, turn on some festive tunes and deck the house to the nines. Everyone will be in a festive mood and you’ll save numerous hours you’d otherwise spend decorating.

There’s no harm in taking shortcuts when necessary. Need holiday cookies for your next book club meeting? Swing by the bakery instead of making them yourself.

Stick to your priorities and consider convenient shortcuts for the rest.

2. Don’t cook:

4. Plan backwards:

When you want a warm, comforting meal but don’t have the time or energy to cook, reach for a Marie Callender’s(R) dinner, like rich and creamy Fettuccini with Chicken & Broccoli. Made with real cream, crisp broccoli and white-meat chicken, it tastes just like homemade without all the fuss.

Set “due dates” for yourself and plan backwards to ensure you get all steps completed on time. For example, if you want your holiday cards to arrive

by Dec. 22, also mark dates for ordering cards, writing the insert and addressing envelopes to ensure you stay on track.

(BPT) - The holidays are magical, but all that fun and festiveness can eat up a lot of your time. Don’t let the joy of the season be overshadowed by a hectic schedule and too many to-do’s. These 10 simple tips and tricks will help you save time so you can focus on what really matters.

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Marie Callender’s dinners are available at local and national retailers nationwide, which make it easy to enjoy a savory and comforting dinner at any time.

5. Limit lists:

7. Get it delivered:

9. Pack light:

Kids make the holidays magical, but sometimes their gift lists can get out of control. This year, have kids focus on three main things: one item they want, one item they need, and one gift for the entire family. You’ll save time knowing what they truly want and kids will learn to prioritize their desires.

So many companies offer delivery, it’s much easier to shop for holiday items from the comfort of your own home and get them delivered than battle the crowded malls. What’s more, look for free shipping promotions that retailers often offer during the holiday season.

Heading out of town to celebrate this year? Opt for gift cards in order to streamline your shopping and lessen your load. If you must bring wrapped gifts, try shipping them to the destination ahead of time.

6. Shop early:

8. Wrap as you go:

Whether you need gifts for all your loved ones or you’re stocking up on dinners from Marie Callender’s for the next couple weeks, shop ahead of time to reduce stress. Marie Callender’s dinners are available at local and national retailers nationwide, which make it easy to enjoy a savory and comforting dinner at any time. Shopping ahead means you won’t get stuck in long, last-minute lines and instead can go home to relax and enjoy some classic comfort food with family.

Whether you love or loathe wrapping gifts, if you do it all at once, you’ll be up half the night. Instead, if you wrap gifts as you buy them, you spread out the work, plus you get to display those gifts to keep loved ones guessing as to what awaits them in the future.

Instead of shopping for every family member or coworker, propose drawing names and conducting a Secret Santa exchange. That means you buy and receive one gift and don’t know who it’s from until the day it’s unwrapped. Bonus: You save money.

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10. Secret Santa:

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Gary Helm  Gary Helm is a prolific author of six books: Counting Serpents and Doves, Other Doors, World Without End, Train Wheels, Flying Saucers, and the Ghost of Tiburcio Vasquez.

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Frank: I’d like to welcome everyone to Breaking It Down. Frank MacKay here, but more importantly, is one of my favorite guests. He is the author of six books, and he’s got a screenplay, and he’s got all kinds of things in the pipeline, Mr. Gary Helm. Gary, how are you?

Gary: I’m hanging right in there.

Frank: How important is it to have product that people can read 100 years from now, 200 years from now?

As the years tick on, and you know, it’s not a rhetorical question. How do you feel about that?

Gary: Yeah, personally I think yeah, you need to have as much out there as you can. There is a certain kind of immortality involved in this area.

Whether you believe there’s an afterlife or not, you want to leave something behind for people coming after you. The only way to do that, for me at least, is to write it down.

Frank: Yeah ... Well, it’s true. If you want to live forever, write something that’ll live forever.

Gary: That’s it, yeah.

Frank: If you want to live forever, make music that’ll live forever, invent something that’ll live forever.

Gary: Right.

Frank: Do you have children?

Gary: Yes, two, but they’re not children anymore. They’re both grown.

Frank: Do they have children?

Gary: One of them does, yes.

Frank: People tell me all the time when you have that grandchild, that first grandchild, they say oh man, it is TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

an experience.

Gary: Yes. Frank: Do you agree with that?

Gary: Yes, I very much agree with that, and especially now, my grandson is 13. He is really beginning to be a young man now. I don’t envy him where he’s gonna have to go in order to stay alive. I’m not looking forward to that in such to the way the world is lagging at the moment ... But I am just remarkably proud of him because he digs in and learns in spite of everything. Yeah, when you have grandchildren, you really feel the weight of the world, and the pride of it, too.

Frank: The world is remarkably different for kids growing up today.

Social media and the way people get information has changed dramatically since we were young. Give me your thoughts on that.

Gary: Well, when you talk about social media, and stuff like that, I’m not so sure that it’s going to help much because the people who own social media ... I mean, there are like six or eight corporations who own all of television, radio, newspapers. They control the information that comes out. Any time you’ve got the control of the information, you’ve got control of the whole world.

As for checks and balances, I’m not sure there is going to be any at the moment. We may be ... I said several times in the past that politically, we are in the same position that the Romans were in at the end of the Peloponnesian War. We are at the place where we are not really a democracy anymore. We’ve tipped over into an empire. That’s politically.

Business wise, we are at the edge of the place, just like the end of the French Revolution. There are a few people that control the whole world.

There are people starving because of it. Pretty soon, those people are liable to rise up against this. Not that it will necessarily do much good. Like the French Revolution wound up not really gaining much. It was just a time of bloody uprising. You come to the place where it’s like a riot. Why do you have a riot? You’re so angry and there is nothing else you can do, so you throw a riot and have basically a temper tantrum because there’s nothing else you can do.

I’m afraid that at least the way it’s going right now, that we’re going to wind up doing that. Which I’m not looking forward to. I probably won’t live to see it, but I hate thinking of my grandchildren having to be involved in that kind of scrap.

Frank: I mean, you actually see the world, or at least the country, going towards revolution?

Gary: Yeah, I really do. Unless something changes drastically, I really do. I mean, talking about social media. On Facebook, there are more and more and more memes about the way the average guy is being treated. About the way the economics of the time are affecting people. Again, they may wind up doing themselves more harm than good because they’re expressing these views on a medium that is owned by a huge corporation. Huge corporations bite. I mean, they’ve got teeth, and they have been known to use them.

Frank: Well, there’s no doubt about that. I’m not what you would call a conspiracy theorist, per se. You know, if something is not right, you know

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it. And it’s ridiculous not to think that there are not conspiracies out there.

Gary: Yeah.

Frank: You know, I knew some folks that were talking about inventors ...

Gary: Yeah.

Frank: ... That had these amazing cars that were running on all types of alternative fuels. They were so high on them. There’s a group of them. Again, I don’t want to sound like this conspiracy theorist, or whatever. There’s a group of them that he spoke about, and they all died in strange ways.

Gary: Yes, they all managed to disappear before anything much really happened.

Frank: Go ahead.

Gary: I mean, the old joke is you’re not really paranoid if there really is somebody out to get you.

Frank: Right.

Gary: You know?

Frank: Right.

Gary: It’s that, the world is generally that way. The only way people like Tesla, the guy who’s building the Tesla, Elon Musk.

Frank: Yes, amazing guy.

Gary: The only reason I think that they have managed to get as far as they have gotten is because they are rich enough to protect themselves. I mean, I’m with you, I’m not necessarily a conspiracy guy ... But there are a few places where there is an awful

lot of conspiracy looking things.

Frank: You know, you bring up an interesting guy in Musk. I wonder how long a guy like that lasts. I mean, if he really pushes the envelope, and he seems to be pushing the envelope, what do they do to him. I mean, what can you do to a man with that much money? Again, I hope not, and I don’t want to be like giving anybody any ideas. I’m sure I don’t have to.

Gary: Right.

Frank: Do the oil companies, do they actually get together and say we got to do something with this guy. We got to get rid of this guy.

Gary: They don’t have to have a big corporate meeting. They have this idea which spreads, and individuals do it. Individuals just set out, and they wind up accomplishing what ISIS wants to do. ISIS doesn’t have to say hey, go do this. I think it’s pretty much that way with corporate America.

There are ideas out there, which we don’t really have control over much.

They are our basic ideas, and we will continue to use them, and they will

continue to grow. I mean, they had that problem between Standard Oil and Carnegie.

They had an ongoing battle a couple of times. Yet, they both wound up with their point of view pushed forward, and they did very well even though they were battling each other, you know.

Frank: Sometimes I wonder about these battles --whether they’re put on for the public’s sake.

They all pretend to hate each other. I’m involved with the Independence Party. You know, the major parties don’t necessarily love us. The establishment doesn’t necessarily love us. I’ve gotten friendly with people on both sides of the aisle. I remember way back, two well know, very well known, one Republican, one Democrat, they were fighting. I mean, just tooth and nail, you know, all over CNN. At the time, it was all CNN. Gary: Yeah.

Frank: They were just fighting, and

“They don’t have to have a big corporate meeting.

They have this idea which spreads, and individuals do it.

Individuals just set out, and they wind up accomplishing what ISIS wants to do”.

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it was getting nasty. Their supporters were fighting over ... And I’ll be careful not to give the specific issue, because then it kind of tells who the guys are ... And they were fighting.

They were battling, and it was really, their followers were at each other’s throat.

Gary: Yes.

Gary: Well, yeah, it is anyway.

Politics has been a game for ever. I think that was more true 20 years ago than it is now. I mean, the whole thing about Tip O’Neill and Ronald Regan going out and having a beer together, even though they were diametrically opposed. Okay, I don’t think that happens as much now.

There are some very, very bitter problems between the Republicans and the Democrats. Yeah, because politics is such a game, I can see this guy hates this guys, and this guy hates this guy ... And yet they go out and have a party together.

Frank: Later that night, I met one of the guys, and they were out with their girlfriends. They were both recently divorced, and they were out with their girlfriends together. They were just drinking and partying. You know, I don’t want to say they were laugh- Frank: Yeah. ing about it, but I mean, the public could have perceived it as that. It was Gary: On television right now, a game. there’s this show called Brain Dead.

It is making fun of the craziness Gary: Yeah. of politics. It is doing a wonderful job, because they’re all brain dead.

Frank: It was just a game, they’re best They’re fighting over the most foolish friends. They’re still best friends. things that you could believe.

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Frank: Is it a reality show, Brain Dead?

Gary: No ... No, it strikes me as a reality show, but it’s not, no. It’s scripted. I mean, there’s bugs crawling in people’s ears and stuff.

Frank: Gary Helm is the author of six wonderful books, and new screenplay. He’s got thoughts on a lot of things, and I’m always interested in hearing those thoughts. You know, you talk about something like Brain Dead. You know, you’re not gonna find too much ... And again, I’m involved in politics. I can’t defend politics. You can’t defend politicians.

The truth of the matter is it’s one of those professions that is like a lifelong career. It’s generations and generations of people.

Gary: Yes, it has turned into it, for sure.

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Frank: People have complained is achieved by the governing parties, about that there’s generations on whoever they are, suddenly discoverwelfare. ing the fact that hey, if I just let these people go, let them yak, let them cry, Gary: Right. let them talk, doesn’t matter. I have the reigns, and so long as I don’t Frank: Well, there’s generations of panic, I’m going to keep the reigns. politicians, too.

Yeah, we’ve got a democracy.

Gary: Yeah, political welfare.

Frank: The name of your latest book, give us the name of your latest book as we fade out here, and come back in a little bit.

Gary: It is called “Serpents and Doves”. It is all about the mid-’60s.

The civil rights movement, as well as the inner church movement.

Frank: You are not someone who is afraid to share his opinions.

At the same time, I got a feeling we’re also kind of on the edge of the democracy, real democracy disappearing. Because of career politicians. I was just reading, what yesterday I guess, about what happened to the guys who signed the Declaration of Independence. None of these guys made any money, any riches off of this. They put their names on this knowing that they were going into serious danger, and they did it anyway.

Now, I cannot see people like Gary: Yes, I’ve always been very Ryan putting his name on something opinionated. that is going to cause him grief.

Frank: Look, I know we’re biased, but it is the greatest country to me in the history of the universe. You could not have conversations like this, you could not speak about your government, you couldn’t make fun of your government, you couldn’t criticize your government in much of the other world. Most of the other world, I should say. Even when people talk about quasi-democracy, we still are ahead of the curve. Not perfect by any means. There’s corporate greed, there’s inequality, there’s all types of things that we need to improve upon. Do you agree that we have this democracy thing down better than most others who call themselves democracies?

Frank: You’re talking about Paul Ryan?

Gary: Yeah.

Frank: The Speaker.

Gary: Yeah, or from the other side of the aisle either. I cannot see these guys putting their names on a document that they know very well is going to wind up causing a war.

That war is going to cost them personally. They are in politics as, oh the same way as a carpenter is a carpenter. They do it because that’s the way they make money. That bothers me. My personal opinion is that the people who are in Congress should not be able to stay more than two Gary: Well, yes and no. I am some- or three terms, at the max, and that what more cynical than that. It is my they should be given minimum considered opinion that democracy wage. They shouldn’t get rich. Harry

Truman said the only way to get rich in politics is to be a criminal. I don’t think he was wrong in that, because there are people who well, yeah, I make $35,000 a year as a congressman. Well, I also make a million and half dollars a year because I am connected with the chemical industry, or the aerospace industry, or something like that. That’s wrong.

Frank: Yes and I’m wondering about Truman. Again, I don’t know the inside baseball of what was going on then, but I have to imagine that the corporations, that the business folks out there almost knew immediately that they could make money on the peripheral of politics. I’m not questioning Harry Truman, or his sincerity on that. You know, I’m not sure we’re defining politics all the same way.

Yet, you bring up a good point. They’re not getting paid that much. The issue that people will have, if you make a minimum wage, you’ll get nobody running for office, right.

Or you’ll get just a free-for-all. Some would argue maybe we’d better off.

Let it be a free-for-all, and people would pay attention. I can’t imagine that there would be too many people out there that are going to give up corporate jobs, and big money jobs to do something because of the good of the country. You just don’t see it.

Gary: Well that’s what I was talking about with the signers of the Declaration of Independence.

Frank: Yeah.

Gary: None of these guys were poor average working guys. They were all landed gentlemen, lawyers.

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and their sacred honors knowing full Frank: You know, in some ways, well that they might lose lives, for- much, much more. People are putting tunes, and sacred honors. their lives, and their family’s lives on hold to defend the country. Certainly, Frank: Yeah. you know that first hand with your family.

Gary: Which that’s got to be, must be a part of American politics. It’s Gary: Yeah. got to be. We have kind of lost that.

Which that bothers me a lot.

Frank: That’s what came to mind.

As I was saying it, I was like where Frank: Well, you’re right on. There’s are you going to get people signing no doubt that you’re right on. As I was up for a job that could ... Oh, wait, saying that, like who would sing up they do it all the time. The do it in the to do that. Obviously, the rich aren’t Army. going to sign up to do it. It made me think about the military. You come Gary: Well, at one point, I would from a military family. agree with you. At the point now, I think it’s generally true that a lot Gary: Right. of these people who sign up don’t know what they’re signing up for. We Frank: Of people sacrificing. That’s use to joke, my wife and I, we used to where you see that kind of commit- joke okay, now we come to the time ment, and that kind of sacrifice. when we start actually earning our money. We are not just doing the 9 Gary: Right. to 5 now. Now, all the sudden there’s somebody shooting. Now, it’s time to

earn our money, but there’s a lot, a lot of people who don’t think about that when they put their name on the dotted line. All they see is basically corporate advancement. That shouldn’t be that way.

Frank: No doubt. I mean, Amen. If I was a religious guy, I’d say Amen to that. Truer words have never been spoken. Gary Helm, we’ve got a couple moments left with Gary Helm.

Author of six wonderful books, and more on the way. Do you have a set of goals in mind? I know you’re not particularly a bucket list type guy, per se. Do you have, you know before it’s all over, you’d like 20 books out, or 30 books out, or 15 books. Or is it not quantified like that?

Gary: They’re not really quantified like that. The truth of the matter is when I pray, I pray please, God, let me have a book that everybody reads.

Frank: Right.

Gary: You know, I mean, I wish I was rich so that I could just hand out the books ...

My goal in life is to put out books that somebody will read. I have always said I want to write a book that somebody would be willing to steal. When I go to book sales, and things like that, if I have to walk away from the table, I tell the people around me look, if you see somebody trying to steal a book, encourage them.

Frank: That’s terrific. You know, I’ve said to a lot of authors, they say oh, I hope nobody steals this. Or I hope nobody re-writes my book. I said you know, you should be so lucky, in a way.

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Gary: I am trying diligently to make sure I work every day. I sometimes have difficulty doing that. I try to make sure that I sit down, and crank out at least 1,000 words every day. At that, if it’s lousy, I can always throw it away. Right now, the accomplishment of getting the words actually on the page is what I’m after at this point. You establish a habit. The habit is good. I sometimes have difficulty with the habit. Especially when the weather is like it is now, when you can be outside and be going. I can get away from that very easily.

Frank: Is it 1,000 words on anything?

Or is it 1,000 specifically for your next project?

works, works. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you sit there and look at the blank screen, and what am I doing here? Just wind up throwing up your hands, and going that’s it, I’m out. I’m going for a walk, or whatever.

Frank: Well, listen, it’s working. Six wonderful books and a screen play, and much more to come. Gary L. Helm, thank you very, very much for being here.

Gary: Thank you for having me, Frank. I really enjoyed this.

Gary: Well, because I have several projects actually running at once, it’s just about anything. When I’m coming toward the end of, like the end of a book, or whatever, then I tend to work more specifically on just that. Other things sort of languish. As you pointed out, I’ve got a couple of screenplays going. I’ve actually got about four books in various stages of completion at this point. I keep busy. That’s so I can keep myself from getting bored. Or if I get stuck in some place. You know, oh my God, my hero’s in a corner and I can’t get him out. Okay, I’ll go over here and write on this other one for a while, while he thinks about how to get out of this mess.

Frank: Yeah.

Gary: That’s kind of the way my life runs.

Frank: Listen, that’s a great way to do it, no question. Whatever works, works.

Gary: That’s the thing. Whatever

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Meaningful, doable ways to support veterans, members of the military and their families (BPT) - At the airport, you take a moment to thank a solider in uniform who is returning home. On Veterans Day, you hold up a sign at your town’s parade to let those who have served know how much you care. Throughout the year, whenever you encounter veterans or someone currently serving in the armed forces, you show your appreciation for their service.

Most Americans truly feel grateful to U.S. service personnel and take steps to express that gratitude. But what do you do for the families of veterans and active-duty, guard and reserve personnel? In many ways, these families sacrifice as much as their loved ones in service to the country.

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It’s just as important to support military and veteran families; they are the reason their loved ones fight and their inspiration for returning home safely.

Many military families cope with the emotional and physical injuries their loved ones in the service come home with. A stable, loving family can help a veteran make the difficult transition from active duty to civilian life, or help an active-duty person return home after deployment.

These families face significant hardships in support of their loved ones in military service. Forty-three percent of military families have moved three or more times in the past 10 years, according to a survey of military families, conducted by Vet Tix. These frequent moves cause difficulties for children adjusting to new schools, spouses finding jobs, and making new friends.

Everyone can make a difference for veterans, members of the military and their families. Here are ideas for meaningful ways to show your support:

Help them make memories Veterans’ and military families often face financial challenges that can make it difficult to afford simple luxuries other Americans take for granted, such as attending a concert, show or sporting event. The ticket price for a game can easily exceed $200 for a family of four. In fact, the Vet Tix survey found cost was the main reason military and veteran families were unable to participate in entertainment opportunities.

dreams by donating tickets or funds to Vet Tix. The organization provides tickets for sporting events, concerts, performing arts and family activities to verified members of all branches of currently serving military and veterans. The impact of the donation often goes far beyond a single day of fun.

For example, a Vietnam veteran living in Florida used tickets from Vet Tix to help rebuild ties with his wife and children. After he successfully reconnected with his family and community, the man’s doctor wrote a letter to the organization thanking them for helping lower the veteran’s PTSDrelated anxiety.

“Many veterans face financial challenges while making the transition from military to civilian life,” says Joel DeLand, a U.S. Army veteran from Chicago. “Long-lasting psychological effects from military service can cause veterans to isolate themselves from others when they return home.

I’ve personally used Vet-Tix-provided tickets to reconnect with friends by attending local events together.”

Visit www.vettix.org to learn more and to make a donation.

Help care for their best friends When military service people deploy overseas, some will have to leave behind a beloved pet. Not everyone will have a family member or friend who is able and willing to take in the service person’s pet for an extended period of time.

duty military, such as Dogs on Deployment or Guardian Angels for Soldier’s Pet. You can also volunteer to foster a pet. These national organizations work to match members of the military who need foster care for their pets with families around the country willing to care for them. If you live near a military base, you can also contact the base’s command to see if they have a local program in place.

Help care for the whole family Every member of a military or veteran family can benefit from support.

You can help discharged veterans and military spouses by volunteering to be a career mentor. Contact the Armed Services YMCA to see if you can volunteer as a teacher’s aide for preschools and after-school programs that serve military families in your area.

Reach out to your local veterans or military support organizations and ask about adopting a military family. “Adoption” can be as simple as writing personal emails or letters of support, or offering financial help for specific needs, such as buying school clothes and supplies for children, or gifts during the holidays.

For a super-easy way to help, simply log on to Operation Homefront’s Amazon page where you can purchase and donate a backpack for a child in a military family.

You can help a military or veteran family make special memories and You can help by donating to an orgaattend the show or event of their nization that fosters pets for active-

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Dr. Magali Jerez Dr. Magali Jerez shares her story as a fourteen year old girl, as part of Operation Pedro Pan; she was sent to the United States from Cuba where she was born and raised to the age of fourteen. Her parents put her on a plane with a group of frightened children to escape Communism.

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Frank MacKay: I’d like to welcome everyone to Breaking it Down. Frank MacKay here, but much more importantly, Dr. Magali Jerez is our very special guest. As a fourteen year old girl, as part of Operation Pedro Pan; she was sent to the United States from Cuba where she was born and raised to the age of fourteen. Her parents put her on a plane with a group of frightened children to escape Communism. The plane landed in Miami. Welcome Dr. Jerez.

Dr. Jerez:

Thank you.

Frank MacKay: So from Miami you flew to O’Hare Airport in Chicago; is that correct?

Dr. Jerez:

That’s correct.

Frank MacKay: What happened there? Who are you met by at O’Hare?

Dr. Jerez: I was met at O’Hare by two Monsignors. They waited for us, there was a group of maybe about nine girls like me. They picked us up at the airport, and drove us to the school. I was very happy, because I got to go to the school where my friends were, at least that. We went there, and the school’s name was Holy Family Academy in a very, very small town called Beaverville, Illinois; it’s in the southern part of the state.

We were received there by the sisters, and I still keep in touch with two of them.

Frank MacKay: Wow. That’s a long term relationship, and what a special bond.

Dr. Jerez: It is, it is really a very special bond. In fact, one of them was like my surrogate mother when I was in the school. She took care of

me when I got sick, and so on and so forth.

Frank MacKay: Let me ask for clarification on something; the nine girls that you attended school with, these were girls that you knew from Miami?

Did you know them before Miami, in Cuba?

Dr. Jerez:

No, nobody.

Frank MacKay: You knew them in Miami?

Dr. Jerez: I met them when we took the airplane.

Frank MacKay: Wow. Dr. Jerez:

Yeah.

Frank MacKay: Oh my gosh. What about those nine girls? Do you still have relationships with any of them?

Dr. Jerez: Unfortunately, no.

Most of them, I believe, they have stayed in Illinois. No, not with the girls, just with two of the sisters.

Frank MacKay: You’re in the southern part of the state, and you’re attending Holy Family Academy.

How did you enjoy the Academy?

Back in the sixties, Catholic School was very strict. Were the sisters more sympathetic because of your circumstance? That you girls had to leave your home in Cuba, and it was a frightening experience; were they aware of that?

Dr. Jerez:

Yes, they were.

Frank MacKay: Maybe a better way to ask it is, obviously they’re aware of it, were they compassionate about your circumstance?

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Dr. Jerez: Some of them were, yes. Some of them, yes, very much so.

Once we got there, we were not the only ones, because like I said, there were some girls already there who had flown from Miami just like we did. What happened at the school was that, it was bittersweet. It was bittersweet, because we knew that we no longer faced the threat of

or were you right on par?

Dr. Jerez: Again, those of us who had been in the same school, I think we had a little bit of heads up, because we knew the language.

Frank MacKay: Right, that’s a big thing.

“My favorite part was that I felt happy at the school. I felt safe at the school”. being flown to Moscow, okay? It was bittersweet because, again, we were without our parents in there.

I believe I said to you before, that I was very lucky, because having attended an American school in Cuba, I knew enough English to get by. There were some girls in that school that couldn’t speak a word of English; they had no clue what was going on.

Frank MacKay: Yeah. That’s even more difficult than your situation.

Dr. Jerez: Oh yes. I was also very lucky in the sense that, the school I attended in Cuba, our high school, was governed by the same standards as the high school of the Catholic University in Washington DC. We used to see books, we got the tests from them, and what have you. When I was in Cuba, I finished my first year of high school like here, if I had been in the states. When I got to Illinois, it was very similar. I was just put in September, in the sophomore class, and that was it.

Frank MacKay: Were you ahead of the class? Were you behind the class, TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

Dr. Jerez: Yes. Imagine being put in a classroom, where you’re learning geometry, and you’re learning this, and you’re learning the other thing, and you don’t understand a word of what was going on.

Actually, one of the girls that, I believe she came in on the same plane as I did, we caught her one night at the fire escape; she was ready to throw herself down.

Frank MacKay: Oh my gosh.

Dr. Jerez: Yes. She was so absolutely frustrated. She was one of those who did not speak a word of English.

Frank MacKay: Did she survive?

Dr. Jerez: Yes, of course. We caught her in time. We were going to say, “Are you nuts? Why are you doing this?” She kept going on, and on, and on. Somehow we convinced her to get out of there, and we took her down.

Frank MacKay: I knew that she didn’t do it, she didn’t commit suicide; but did you follow her enough in life to know if she made out okay in high

school? Did she graduate, did she go on?

Dr. Jerez: Yes she did, and she is fine. I believe that she is in Miami, and she continued with her life.

Most of the children who came via the Pedro Pan Operation have done quite okay here. We have a couple of Pulitzer Prize winners.

Frank MacKay: Were the nuns fluent in Spanish?

Dr. Jerez: They only spoke English. The only sister who spoke Spanish was the librarian. She was Mexican, but she was the only one.

I don’t think she taught anything, I don’t remember if she did. She probably did, but I don’t remember. She was the only one.

Frank MacKay: Yeah. That’s just amazing. I have four children, and I’m urging them as much as possible, my wife is urging them as well, to learn Spanish, because there’s such an influx of Hispanic folks and Spanish speaking folks. You have such a big population of people who are only speaking Spanish, and not to be able to communicate with them is a mistake. In school, I’m hoping my children become fluent in Spanish, but we’re living in a different time.

In 1960 and 1961, there were not as many Spanish speaking people, especially in that part of Illinois, I would assume. Am I correct?

Dr. Jerez: Correct. I never met anybody there who spoke Spanish.

Never.

Frank MacKay: What was your interest in school? Obviously, it was a scary time, a transitional period.

You’re talking about a young woman, or a girl turning into a young woman; which is frightening all its own. Now

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you’re doing it in another culture, you’re doing it away from your home and your family, you’re doing it basically with strangers, and you’re going through this. What was your favorite part of your life at that point?

Dr. Jerez: My favorite part was that I felt happy at the school. I felt safe at the school. Two things happened with the group. Some people realized that for our parents, they made quite a sacrifice to say the least to put us on a plane. Really, they didn’t know where we were going to end up.

Others were very bitter that they ended up where they ended up.

Although, I have to say some of the people that were in Miami, ended up in real ugly circumstances such as orphanages, and bad foster homes, and what have you. I felt very happy that I was where I was, and was able to continue my studies without interruption, again, because there was no language barrier.

Frank MacKay: Very interesting, the whole situation is fascinating. You referenced before that you were confident that you wouldn’t be sent to Russia. What manifested to allow you to feel the safety, that you wouldn’t be shipped off of American soil, and sent to a real foreign land?

Dr. Jerez: I was in the US. I got into the US, and I was with the sisters.

Of course, ever since I was five or six, I had been at a Catholic School, and this was also a Catholic School. It was like a continuation, except without my parents and my family. At that time, there were no cell phones, but our parents would call. What happened was that the parents of the group that was in there, they all got to be friends. One set of parents would call one week, another set of parents would call another week, and that way everybody had news about us in Cuba.

Frank MacKay: What was your favorite subject in school?

Dr. Jerez: I never liked science, so everything that was art, literature.

Again, I just went straight from, in Cuba being a freshman to a sophomore in Illinois. We studied the Bible.

My favorite subject is language arts, always.

Frank MacKay: The fact that you took a liking to language arts, it says a lot about you. It’s also very important, I guess, and I’m not a psychiatrist, I don’t want to pretend to be one; you’re witnessing a young woman thinking about contemplating suicide, and one of the reasons is because she didn’t understand the language. I wonder if psychologically, subconsciously, you were attracted to language arts, because you knew that this was something that gave you an advantage.

Dr. Jerez: I knew definitely that it gave me an advantage, definitely.

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“No, I didn’t consider myself a workaholic. I became a workaholic later in life, but not at that point”.

I began studying French at Holy Family Academy, because I figure at that point, I’m going to learn as many languages as I can. That’s how we humans communicate, right?

Frank MacKay: Sure.

Dr. Jerez: I wanted to continue on to college; which at that point, who knew? We were sponsored by Catholic Charities. I knew that I did want to go to college. I knew that I wanted to get all the way to my PhD at some point, and I knew that I wanted to study languages. I began studying French at Holy Family, I also studied Latin there, and some Greek.

Frank: You did very well there, you got three quick promotions on a meteoric rise. Your dad unfortunately had a stroke and your folks did not speak the language, and when I say the language, they did not speak English. Back in the day it was very, very difficult to find a good segment of the community that spoke Spanish or understood Spanish. You ended up flying to Puerto Rico with your family and you gave up a very promising career in a wonderful company that’s still a giant at this point, it’s merged with Time Warner of course.

Dr. Jerez:

Time Life, yes.

Frank MacKay: You’re being taught this in high school, which is exceptional. This is a very good education you’re getting.

Frank: Again, that’s a tremendous company. It’s not like you connected with a fly by night company, you connected with a conglomerate, a huge, tremendous international company, and you were on the rise there. You ended up going to Puerto Rico and you went to the University of Puerto Rico, UPR. Your family was much happier there, it reminded you a little of Cuba, right? It was an island, right, much like Cuba was, and the temperature was similar and of course people were speaking Spanish, and you just were an excellent student.

Dr. Jerez:

Dr. Jerez:

Frank MacKay: Wow. These are lost arts, many of these, Latin for sure, and Greek. Greek is still being spoken, but at one time scholars, that’s what they learned; they learned Latin, French and Greek.

Dr. Jerez: Correct.

Oh yes, yes it was.

Frank: From there you went to, and you’ll refresh my memory if I’m wrong, you ended up in Chicago and you worked for Time Incorporated, Time International.

Dr. Jerez:

Yes.

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Yes.

Frank: Were you working at all at that point or were you just concentrating on your schooling?

Dr. Jerez: I was working on Saturdays. On the phone, I used to sell magazines, and call people and see if they wanted to subscribe to

magazines, and I also worked for the science library of the University.

Frank: Was that something you chose to do it, or was that just available?

Dr. Jerez: No, I chose to do that, but I wanted to be a little financially independent at least. I did that because of that reason.

Frank: That’s a nice part-time job for a young student. Did you get to do much reading there, and in your reading, did it branch you off into other subjects? You’re around science constantly there and you’re a little bit away from the language department.

Did it broaden your horizons?

Dr. Jerez: Well yes, because I am an avid reader. I read a lot, and so whenever I would come across something that would be of interest to me I would read it even though it was science and it was not my forte, however I would read it, yes.

Frank: Not to be too nosy, but are you enjoying a social life at that point?

Dr. Jerez:

Oh, yes.

Frank: Are you spending time with friends and dating and things that college kids like to do?

Dr. Jerez: Oh yes, oh yes, in fact there was a sizable group of Cuban students at the University of Puerto Rico at that time. We all finally got to meet each other and we used to go out on weekends especially. We used

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to go out to nightclubs and dancing and to dinners together, and yes, yes.

Parties, we used to have parties at students’ houses. So yes, there was social life as well.

Frank: I’m a workaholic but I spend time with the family as much as I can, and more than most people get the opportunity to. You seem like a workaholic yourself. Did you consider yourself a workaholic or did you have a pretty good balance?

Dr. Jerez: No, I didn’t consider myself a workaholic. I became a workaholic later in life, but not at that point.

Frank: What makes one, and just to switch gears here for a second, but what decisions in your life or what circumstances in your life would turn you into a workaholic when you weren’t naturally prone to that. You were always a hard worker, but what turned you into a workaholic later in life?

Dr. Jerez: I tell you, when I became Chair of the World Languages Department at the Bergen County Community College, where I spent 25 years as a college professor, I loved it. I didn’t mind, but I was a workaholic. I used to spend days and sometimes I would leave at 9:00 and 10:00 at night. I never minded it because it was so creative, it gave me the opportunity to do a lot with the department. When I started as Chair of that department we were doing about only four languages, your basic languages were being taught at the college. French, Spanish, Italian, and when I got the job I said, “My God, the world is changing very fast, so we need to keep up with the changes happening in the world. Our students need to have other choices of languages, because other languages TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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are becoming very important.”

I brought that program from four languages that were being taught to 12 world languages, and it was the only community college, I believe in the entire nation which had a language program with 12 languages being taught. When I did that, we expanded tremendously, we picked up Hebrew, Arabic, we picked up a very important language I believe, American sign language.

Frank: Oh wow, yes, very nice.

Dr. Jerez: Oh yes, yes, very, very nice because it was so needed, so needed. Actually, many students who sometimes would get frustrated with the language they had picked, they would come to my office and I would recommend or suggest to them, “Well why don’t you try American sign language,” especially students who were going into careers such as social work, the medical professions.

They would end up using American sign language very much so, very much so, and they liked it.

Frank: It’s fascinating, and when you said we added a very important language, it didn’t even come to my mind that that is a language.

It’s a language, sign language is ... I mean, define language. Language is a means of communicating, it’s not just verbal but written or I guess signing. Give us a basic definition of what language is.

Dr. Jerez: Well, okay. Language you see is a conglomerate of words, spoken, written, and in the case of American sign language, signing.

It still works, but done with signs instead of the written word. The way you would get an original word would be through signs, which I think it’s fascinating.

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Frank: I do too, no question about it. What other type of students, other than let’s say the students that were just trying to expand their horizons, but what about psychology students? Would you see them learning sign language, is there any benefit there and if not there, where else other than social work did you see people finding the benefit in sign language?

Dr. Jerez: All of the medical professions and criminal justice.

Frank: I was going to say police work for sure.

Dr. Jerez: Teachers, people who were going into teaching also, very much so, very much so. All the languages, but actually American Sign Language very promptly became one of our first languages. In fact, the biggest program in the department, of course, for languages was Spanish, and then it became Spanish and American sign language.

Frank: Did your students know by reputation what your history was, or did you need to tell them?

Dr. Jerez: No, they didn’t. What they may have known is that I had come from Cuba, obviously they would be interested because as I was teaching Spanish. Other than that, no. My story they did not know, no.

Frank: I wonder, and again, I have mixed feelings on this. I wonder if they had known that, would it be intimidating to either learn from you, figuring, “Well look, this woman’s been through so much and she succeeded.” Would it be intimidating to them, or at the same time would it be inspiring to them? My first initial reaction is that it would depend on the student, and what’s your thought

on that?

Dr. Jerez: Yes, well yes, it would have been inspirational, yes. I remember because none of the rural students, every group of students that I got in each class, it was a different dynamic of course, and different characteristics and mindset for that particular group. You have to explain some cultural things at least, and we did take a lot of time speaking about the Hispanic culture in and of itself, so some of them when we get into the cultural part of the language and to some of the groups, again, I did speak, but very little, very little. My aim was, they were there because they were studying a language that they deemed that it was going to be helpful to them in the future, and that’s what I was doing for them.

Frank: Did you feel any prejudice, whether it was in southern Illinois, in Chicago later, in New York when you spent time in New York? Did you feel any prejudicial bias against you because of being from Cuba?

Dr. Jerez: No, but what I did find was, this was an eye opener for me, that people did not know that much about Cuba or the Hispanic culture as a whole. I found that out, especially when I went to the school in Illinois. I would get asked questions that, again, it was an eyeopener because I didn’t know that people did not know a lot about part of the Americas, because the Spanish speaking world in the Americas is very big, as you know.

Frank: Of course.

Dr. Jerez: It was a shame that people did not know more of other cultures.

Frank: I say the same thing to my children, I have four children, and I

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always explain to them that America is not just North America. America actually is a much bigger-

lady, and you graduated there. At what point did you go to get your doctorate?

Dr. Jerez: Continent.

Dr. Jerez: Well, when I finished there I wanted to continue for a Master’s degree in languages, and unfortunately at that point at the University of Puerto Rico in the other languages, there was only a Master’s degree possible in Spanish.

I wanted to do more languages, so I decided to move back to the mainland. I did that by myself, not with my parents. That’s when I moved to New Jersey, and that’s where I have been since I came. That was back in 1969, I believe, yes, because I graduated from the University of Puerto

Frank: Yes, it’s a continent, but it is also the islands that are a part of that continent. It’s America, it’s Canada and Mexico and Central America. If you want to go even further than that, South America. It’s the Western Hemisphere. This is how you should look at it.

Dr. Jerez: It’s called communication. Anything that is going to enhance your communication with other human beings, that’s, for me,

“Any language, it’s not just the language, but everything that comes with language”. the name of the game. The more that you can communicate the better off that you’re going to be because it’s not the same thing when you speak to someone in their own language, all right? The way that you are accepted also, it’s different, it’s different. Any language, it’s not just the language, but everything that comes with language. A lot of places in the world speak French as well as their first language, but the culture and of course also enlarges your horizons. There is also literature that comes with the study of the language.

The literature of the different countries, and the different cultures is very, very important. It expands your horizons tremendously.

Frank: We left at a pretty big gap in your life story. We went from the University of Puerto Rico as a young

Rico in 1968, so I came to New Jersey in 1969, and decided I was going to pursue my education here in New Jersey. What is really interesting, I think, is that my focus changed somewhat. What I mean by that is I thought I may want to take a Master’s degree in counseling and guidance.

It was wonderful, it was wonderful. I liked it very much. Of course, my languages were very good for this because it gave me the opportunity to work with people that spoke different languages, and of course I was very, very good for the career that I chose through my Master’s degree.

Frank: Fascinating. At what point do you start teaching? Do you teach before you’re completed with your Masters, or are you a full-time student?

Dr. Jerez: Well yes, as I was pulling myself through school for my Master’s degree, I suddenly had a fulltime job and two part-time jobs, okay, so that I could put myself through graduate work. I worked as a secretary for a company in Hackensack, New Jersey, where I was a really good fit because it was a company that made cargo trains. Their base, their headquarters was actually in Belgium, so they needed somebody who spoke French. Their office, their main office was in Hackensack in the USA, in New Jersey, and they needed somebody who knew English very well, but the customers, their main customers for these cargo trains were in the Dominican Republic, and some of the Spanish-speaking countries in South America. Now they needed somebody who could speak or communicate in these three languages, Spanish, French and English. I became a good fit for them.

I worked there full-time and I taught English as a second language at a community program, of Arabs in Bergen County. I gave private English lessons as well to some students, privately.

Frank: That’s interesting.

Dr. Jerez: Well, what was good about it was that of course, we’re talking some years ago in the 1970s, it was not very easy to find somebody who had my background as they needed it for the three languages. The pay was really good, it was a good job. It was, I don’t know if somebody who was listening remembers that at that time there were no cell phones, there was nothing like ...

There were no computers. They had a machine which was called a Telex Machine, and that’s how we would communicate with the headquarters in Belgium. The Telex had to be done, TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

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it had a keyboard, and it had to be done in French. That’s where I guess I came in very handy for this particular company. That’s what I did, that was my full-time job. Again, I taught English as second language at a community program in Bergen County, New Jersey, and I gave private lessons in English as well.

Frank: It’s fascinating, for someone like myself who doesn’t speak the second language, I look at someone like you and other folks that work, let’s say, for the UN, for the United Nations who know six languages or seven languages, and there are just amazing and accomplished people.

What other types of jobs are out there for a multi-linguist?

Dr. Jerez: For a multi-linguist, you mentioned a very prime source, which is the UN, but now times have changed. Because we’re going so global, so many, many places now are looking for multi-linguals, which can help because of the internet, the global ideas that we have currently.

People are needing multi-linguals who can help them out, and from all walks of life, really. All walks of life, medical professions, judicial professions very much so. In journalism, oh my goodness, in journalism, in teaching itself.

Frank: Just about everywhere now, because we’re so global. You’re right, I mean, it’s different than it was then.

Now you could sit at your computer and work, so you could be in an office and you could be communicating in Arabic or you could be communicating in French, you don’t necessarily have to be around the other folks that you’re communicating with, you could be anywhere.

Dr. Jerez:

Exactly.

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Frank: Looking back on that moment as this young girl on that plane with other young men and women, or girls and boys, can you look back and say, “Wow, this is where it all ended up.” Would you ever imagined, on that plane, that this is where you would end up?

Dr. Jerez: Frank: I come from a family with a lot of education, educational background, we had doctors and lawyers, and professors in my family on both sides, my mother’s side and my father’s side. I was always taught and I always heard you need to get a good education, and I saw my aunts and uncles and my cousins become doctors and lawyers, and people in journalism, but always educated people, educated people.

Education was something that was probably instilled in me very early in my childhood.

Education has a tremendous impact in our lives and you are certainly a shining example of success. Thank you Dr. Jerez.

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B r e akin g it down with frank mackay and

Rita Herperger, B.S.W., R.S.W

Rita Herperger, B.S.W., R.S.W. is the owner of Therapist of Orenda Healing Professional Counseling & Consulting. If you are interested in learning more about her visit www.orendahealing.net or contact her at orenda.healing@gmail.com

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“I choose to believe, and I believe with all my heart, that there is so much more good happening out there but that our society has become very violence focused, very desensitized”.

Frank: I’d like to welcome everyone to Breaking It Down. Frank McKay here.

I don’t know if things are different in Canada but how do we deal with that as parents?

More importantly, our very special guest is the chief therapist and the founder of Orenda Healing, Rita Herperger.

Rita: Yeah, that’s a tough one because it is absolutely everywhere with internet now, even though we might try and keep our kids away from it, they can still access it on their own or with their friends, so it’s very, very difficult.

Hey Rita, how are you?

Rita: I’m doing well Frank, thank you. And you?

Frank: I’m doing great.

Rita:

Good.

Frank: I have been working on keeping the kids positive in what can be a very negative world at times. I figured who is better to ask than Rita Herperger about how to accomplish that.

Here in America you have nothing but negativity and you have nothing but frightening news items.

I guess these are the happenings out there and this is what gets ratings. If it bleeds it leads they say.

That’s an old expression in the news.

If it bleeds it leads so they’re showing you death and they are showing you violence.

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We still have the same stuff going on up here in Canada.

That being said, we can look for that kind of stuff absolutely anywhere. I think it’s what people choose to focus on.

I, myself, made a decision and this was a huge part of my own healing and my own transformation that brought me to Orenda Healing.

A big part of that was not getting wrapped up in all the negative stuff that is going on in the world. That’s not to say I’m not aware of it. Yes, I know it’s happening but I am not going to use my energies and spend all my time focused on that and start planning my funeral.

Instead I have chosen to pull away from that. Okay, it’s happening.

A lot of people feel defenseless. Well one of the ways that I have chosen to take ... I guess pick up arms, you could say, to defend myself and my family, is to start looking at what’s going on that’s really great in our world.

I choose to believe, and I believe with all my heart, that there is so much more good happening out there but that our society has become very violence focused, very desensitized. There’s just this need for greater violence in order for us to be affected.

There’s so much unhappiness in the world and you know what? I chose to start looking for the things that are going really well in the world. There are women making great strides all across our world for women’s rights. There are people building homes for other people. There are ... There’s just so much good happening but we don’t hear about it. I am not being naïve about the violence in the news, but those people are not going to take a moment of my time and my day because they have taken enough from enough people in our world.

Frank: Wow. That’s terrific and I’ve never heard it said as well as that.

You touched on so much there about what we could choose to block out or what we could choose to focus on. Unfortunately, in the news, a man loving his wife or a woman loving her children is not news. It’s only when they beat each other or they kill each other that suddenly it becomes news. It’s so unfortunate.

But you’re right. I mean, we could flip a switch and decide to focus on that or focus on these positive things.

Rita: Right.

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Frank: How hard is it to re-adjust once we are programmed a certain way?

Rita: One of the things I believe is that our media is set up to sensationalize and to entertain with that type of media, with the negative type of media, so that’s what people are looking for in entertainment.

I choose to focus on something else because I don’t want to go to bed afraid. I don’t want to incite hate. You know what I mean? The way I want to live my life is what I fill myself with.

When I was working in a school, we received training from Kevin Cameron. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Kevin; he trained us in violent threat risk assessment in the schools. That was in response to the Columbine and Tabor shootings.

One of the aspects of that training was when we consider our children and if we want to protect them and we want to guide them, do we have to sit back and okay what are they filling themselves with?

If we as parents are not giving our children those positive things to fill themselves, you know, family, trips if you can afford them, you know, whatever. Right? Positive entertainment, family nights, all that type of thing; they are going to find something else to fill themselves with and that’s usually something that comes from them feeling like they are in need. If they are in need, they are going to find somebody to help them. Well, like minds will find like minds. Unhappiness finds unhappiness and that is where our children start filling themselves with the violent games, with the violence on TV, with the misogynism, all that

“Positive entertainment, family nights, all that type of thing; they are going to find something else to fill themselves with and that’s usually something that comes from them feeling like they are in need”. different type of stuff, right?

I really believe that if we are going to make any kind of break in this or any kind of break in the violent cycle we need to start with our children. We need to start asking ourselves what are they filling themselves with?

Frank: The same goes for the games that they play with, you know the ...

Rita: Absolutely.

Frank: The video games ...

Rita: What I am saying though is that we need to consider that a healthy child or a healthy teenager will be able to handle that game “as a game” rather than filling themselves with the ideologies that are being given in there.

Frank: This isn’t reality. They should be able to discern fiction from reality.

Rita: Exactly. Exactly. That goes to what I used to tell my children when they were growing up as well.

We’d be watching movies and really sitting down. If there was something that bothered them ... You and I had talked about this one other time … when they find something distressing online, sit down and talk to them about it.

Frank: Yeah Rita: Help them find something positive in what have been looking at or what they’ve been hearing because even in the bad moments in our lives there is something good that comes out of it. There’s always something good. It really is not that hard to find.

Frank: Yeah, well, listen, I love it. I love the viewpoint, I love the wisdom here.

These are complicated things and I guess people like to say, whatever generation you’re in, you like to say well the last generation didn’t have to deal with this and the last generation didn’t have to deal with that. It’s not true. I mean, each generation has its own crosses to bear so to speak.

Rita: Absolutely.

Frank: The Great Depression, Nazism and the Holocaust for examples -everything that came along with the forties was horrendous. The turn of the century or before the American Civil War, you know.

Rita:

You don’t have to go even

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that big. Look into the fact that domestic violence ... I know here in Saskatchewan wasn’t against the law until 1984. You know up until that point it was okay for a man to beat his wife. Like oh my god, right?

Frank: Right.

Rita: And children were possessions. They weren’t blessings and gifts. They were possessions and they could be used and sold and beaten.

I like to think that yeah, maybe in those days we didn’t have the video games but like you said there were other crosses to bear and you really didn’t have to go that far to find them.

So much has changed I think.

Being aware of all that is how I stay positive Frank.

Frank: Just think about that. Then there’s other items in the past. There’s games and there’s songs. I mean, Ring Around the Rosie. Ring around the Rosie, they all fall down, I mean this is a reference to the black plague.

Rita: Exactly. Exactly. There’s so much.

Frank: Everywhere you look in history you’re going to find dark moments. I would have to believe there were positive times, I mean we wouldn’t have survived as a species.

Rita: Taking control of what you are going to fill yourself with, taking control when your children are young and saying this is what I am going to help my child fill himself with is huge.

It’s huge.

Frank: Do you have a favorite selfhelp author? You’re such a positive person you sound like you’ve read quite a bit of self-help. I have and I go through periods of time when I TA L K N AT I O N | I S S U E V I I I

read nothing or listen to nothing but self-help. Do you have a favorite author?

Rita: Right. Dr. Wayne Dyer Frank: Yeah, he’s wonderful.

recognizing that even when we’re judging people we decide whether or not we’re going to judge people, we decide whether or not we’re going to let others judge us.

His way of looking at things really, really opened my eyes. He was huge for me.

Frank: See I’m not sure you can judge a book by its title but a lot could be said for the title of Dyer’s first book “Your Erroneous Zones.” Your erroneous zones are like places that you’re looking at that you’re wrong. That you’ve looked at in a wrong way. Is that accurate?

Rita:

Rita: That wasn’t even hard. I love, you know ... I have heard people say, you know, he was idealistic and different things like that but you know when I look at what he wrote, he lived what he wrote.

I had opportunity to see him in Toronto a few years ago at an I Can Do It conference. He was a primary speaker and spoke for three hours.

This man was amazing and you could see the happiness in him. You could see that he lived what he preached.

He lived what he wrote.

I emulate them. How can you not? It really is being at peace with yourself, finding your spirituality, which I really believe is huge regardless of what that looks like for yourself. Whether you find it in religion or you find it in nature, within the universe, whatever that is, and really building on that and trusting and living life on your terms with the intention that no one is hurt.

He was amazing and

I would think so.

Frank: I mean, in so many ways ... I’ve had this conversation with a couple of friends … you can just imagine that everything we learned growing up was wrong: The way we were supposed to treat people, the way we were supposed to handle our bodies, the way we were supposed to do this or handle that or deal with this person. Imagine what we learned growing up was all, if not wrong, at least short-sighted.

We have to learn.

Rita: I think wrong or right, I think you know it all served a purpose in its time. I think that’s where we do come out ahead of our animal friends is that we have free will. We can choose whether or not that’s the way we want to be. I think that’s what develops character.

Frank: I lost both my parents and I have great love for them. I was very close to them and my mother, at least, was a wonderful, wonderful mother. My father was absent but

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my mother was wonderful. I recognize what she tried to teach me. She tried to teach me what she knew at that time would be best.

Rita: Yes. That goes back to – and this is even what I choose with my clients -- it’s to really encourage them that whatever ... It all goes back to intent.

What is the intent behind what you are giving? If it is as true as you believe it to be, and as good as you believe it to be, and you really don’t mean any harm regardless of the outcome, I think then you are living in your purpose.

If your intent is malicious then I think we need to sit back and go, okay, what is it we are really trying to gain here?

Frank: Yeah.

Rita: What are you looking for?

Frank: Yeah. That’s excellent. Very easy to handle for me and I imagine our listeners.

So many people will look at their upbringing and use that same type of mentality that I just referred to and they’ll say everything. My parents ruined me, my parents hurt me, my parents ... I don’t think so.

Rita: Right. You know what, if that’s what they say, okay. That’s their belief. That’s where I come from, you believe that. If that’s what you believe what are you going to do about it?

Frank: Right.

Rita: Are you going to sit there and complain about your parents and continue to remain victimized in what you believe was to be a horrible upbringing or are you going to

stand up and say, “you know what, I’m done with this. I need to make some change here.”

Frank: Yeah. So much could be said about what you just pointed out as far as intent goes.

Intent. Intent is a major thing.

If your parents left you, and they had no interest in you, their intent was to take care of themselves I imagine.

You could sit there and say “poor me and look what happened to me” and not do anything. Once you get to the

You can also take those negative experiences and you can turn it around and you could say, “you know what mom and dad, thank you for doing that because you showed me the type of parent I don’t want to be.”

That’s not thanking them in a negative, vindictive kind of way. That is lovingly saying thank you, you showed me the type of person I want to be.

Frank: Yeah, that’s so important.

That’s so Wayne Dyer-like. Anything that you’re handed, you could look at it both ways.

“I can sit here and complain or I could wallow in self-pity or I could turn around and say well all right. I’m going to take care of myself”.

age of reason, you could say to yourself, “look, I got a raw deal. Both of my parents were drug addicts or alcoholics. That’s the hand I was dealt. I can sit here and complain or I could wallow in self-pity or I could turn around and say well all right. I’m going to take care of myself. I’m going to use what they gave me.” That’s self-strength and independence -- and you can turn it all around.

I think there’s a line from Shakespeare that goes, “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Rita: that.

Isn’t that right. Yes, I love

Frank: Yeah. So much ... I love your attitude towards this.

Rita: That’s right and as you’re turning it around, and this is where I grew up in a home where there was alcoholism, there was child abuse, there was domestic violence. I grew up that way. I also, when I went to school I was a target. I was bullied endlessly. Thoughts of suicide weren’t far from my head.

Can you give us a website or a social media site where people can follow what you’re doing?

I know of what I seek. I believe in authenticity.

What does the rest of your year look like?

Rita:

Sure. It’s orendahealing.net

Frank: Orenda Healing is offering so much for the community. I guess every day is a new adventure.

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Rita: The rest of the year we’ve got some ... As you know Orenda Healing is very new for me. I just kind of up and quit my job but that’s okay. I’m going to do something for myself.

children that will help parents. I’m looking into getting involved with my local Social Work Association here and doing some workshops on the code of ethics within social work.

Frank: Congratulations.

There are lots of things just starting and happening and I’ve got all these great ideas. I’ve got people around me that are reigning me in and going, “Rita wait up! Slow down a bit.”

Rita:

Took a big, big leap.

Frank: Nice.

Rita: It’s a wellness center.

Its Orenda Healing Professional Counseling and Wellness. As you know, I do professional counseling but I’m strongly focused into the wellness part of it so we have got children’s yoga courses coming up.

We do support groups, like grief support, cancer support.

We’re also looking at other support groups.

I’m going to be doing some workshops on anxiety and worry in

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We’ve got meditation groups starting, so I’m really trying to pull in aspects of everything in helping people to take control of their own lives and find their happy.

Frank: Well, listen it’s so nice to talk to someone who does what they do very well and I can see why you do it very well because you love to do it and I thank you once again for being here and for all the wisdom.

Rita: Well thank you so much. I enjoyed our conversation today.

As I said, for me, it was a huge change in recognizing that I can choose to be happy. We hear it all the time but I’m living it. It is very, very true.

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