STAGE FRIGHT Sarah Goodes CO-RESIDENT DIRECTOR, SYDNEY THEATRE COMPANY
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heatre director Sarah Goodes sees balance as a positive thing. For her, a balanced life means one that is varied and diverse, rather than one characterised by the kind of one-eyed focus that has swallowed some of her fellow directors. “I remember being at the Victorian College of the Arts doing the directing course. Halfway through it, I cornered Richard, who ran the course, and said ‘I can’t do this, I think I’m going to pull out’. When he asked why, I said that it was because of some of the people I saw around me. To them theatre was everything and I didn’t want it ever to be everything to me. He pointed out that those people just didn’t have anything else in their life and that was why theatre was everything to them. I remember thinking I don’t ever want it to be the only thing in my life.” Sarah’s notion of balance is no static vision of perfection; rather it’s an ongoing process of attempting to meet the demands of a busy life and incorporate into it everything she wants to achieve. “In terms of motherhood, or in my relationship, or my work, balance is everything. I don’t always have it in balance – they’re two very different things. The swinging of balance is what you constantly have to have in motion.” An important part of that involves cutting yourself some slack. “The major thing to do as a mother is to keep lowering the bench. You can be your own worst enemy. You keep setting the benchmark up here and then falling short – just bring it down. It’s shocking with work and motherhood. Are they alive? Are they healthy? Are you all present and accounted for? I don’t know who we’re trying to impress.” The idea that these things are constantly in motion is key for Sarah. Rather than establishing a fixed set of priorities, she keeps things fluid enough to respond to the changing needs of her work and family. “You’ve got to prioritise your family sometimes, and other times you’ve got to prioritise your work. You’ve got to keep it moving. I don’t think prioritising one over the other all the time is the right thing for me. Your family are always more important. That’s a given. If something happened, of course they would take priority. But your work is really important in terms of thinking about other things, and having a life of the mind. If you’re lucky enough to enjoy your work, it’s a good lesson for your kids to see you be fed by it, and exhilarated by
it. It’s one of the main things I say to my kids. It’s not about education. If you can find work that you love, then it will never feel like work and your life will be fulfilling and enjoyable.” For Sarah, happiness is an important measure of balance – as is your health. “If you’re too stressed and it’s making you sick, then it’s not right. I think we tend to try and keep ourselves busy as a way of distracting ourselves from the big things. Having the courage to just be still, and be in the moment is an all-important part of balance. If you’re never able to be in the moment, then you’re probably chasing your tail a bit.” That’s where having a life that includes a family and children can put you at a distinct advantage. “Kids are good at making you be in the moment. I make sure I put my phone away and sit down and go, right, I’m just going to be with them and focus on them and what they want to do and how they’re going to do it.” Not that she’s immune to the chaos that inevitably accompanies a young family, but Sarah’s way of responding combines a sense of gratitude for everything that she has with the discipline necessary to fully appreciate it. “It’s a pretty manic stage in terms of washing and cooking and cleaning and coming home, and picking them up, and all that kind of stuff. I try every day to appreciate what I have. That we’re healthy and we’re happy and we live somewhere really lovely. I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t acknowledge that to myself. I try to turn the phones off and leave them alone. I think they’re really dangerous.” Of course, phones are not just a danger for the adults in the house. Every parent knows the perils of the iPad, but Sarah is pretty disciplined about restricting her children’s access to it and any other potential distractions. “They like to watch the Pink Panther on You Tube, a lot. Otherwise we don’t spend a lot of time on the computer, and we don’t have television during the week. They watch it on the weekends. It’s just addictive. [My husband] David got an iPad from work. We couldn’t find the kids one day, and they were in the corner of the cupboard in the darkness like two little junkies. We sent it back.” A lot of the inspiration for Sarah’s career came from her mother, although not directly. Rather than showing her the glittering potential of combining a career and family,