Why celibacy isn’t extraordinary
Dani Treweek
S
o, here’s the thing. Single Christian, your
celibacy is totally ordinary. Yep. You heard me. We are utterly unexceptional. Unremarkable even. Of course, our celibacy is also uniquely meaningful. But that’s another discussion. For the moment let’s just focus on how very, very not extraordinary you (and I) are.
WHEN CELIBACY BECAME COOL Not so long ago, the word “celibacy” predominantly conjured up dark hallways winding through shadowy monasteries in remote places. It spoke of dark-robed priests and grey-garbed nuns whose enigmatic alienness was simultaneously alluring and yet a little disconcerting. It brought to mind either a starkly ascetic and commendably humble existence, or alternatively (and horrifically) a façade used to cover up some of the worst evil imaginable. Whatever it was, celibacy was most definitely not cool. Until, suddenly, it was. Today, celibacy increasingly conjures up images of soy lattes and farm-to-table cafés. It speaks readily of energetic millennials in skinny jeans (or have they been replaced by high-waisted jeans now??), whose enigmatic Twitter profiles are simultaneously perplexing – especially to those of us of an, ahem, older generation – and yet somehow compelling. It brings to mind a wonderful appreciation for aesthetics, an enviable aptitude for social media, and an effervescent youthfulness. Whatever it is, celibacy is most definitely now cool. Or at least it’s cooler than it was. And this coolness is not necessarily a bad thing (and yes, I’m aware that in using 20
the term “cool” to describe what is cool I am only revealing how anachronistically “uncool” I truly am). Indeed, even those outside the Christian community are slowly beginning to develop a renewed appreciation for the celibate life (especially as it is increasingly differentiated from the horrific, appalling and abusive “celibacy” of those who used it to mask great evil). Many a secular person is now able to look upon a Christian friend who has declared themselves to be celibate and think: “If that’s your chosen identity, then good for you. Sure, I don’t get it. But that’s not the point. You do you”. HOW CELIBACY BECAME EXCEPTIONAL Of course, as any good marketer will tell you, when you’re in the middle of a rebrand you want to simultaneously embrace the new, while giving a nod to the old. Some level of continuity is vital. When it comes to contemporary celibacy’s image overhaul, that continuity has been located in its “vocational” character. The Catholic priest makes a lifelong vow of celibacy. The contemporary evangelical Christian usually speaks of their celibacy as being a life “call”. Just as in the past, celibacy is not a passing phase or a temporary endeavour. Such is thought to belong to celibacy’s cousin, abstinence. Rather, it tends to be something you have embraced as a personal vocation. Celibacy, we are told, is for those who have, for any number of reasons, discerned it as a specific, individual and personal call. Just as an aside: when it comes to the way we SouthernCross
April 2021