IF YOU
ask me...
WANT TO GET RID OF FRAUDULENT TELEPHONE SCAMMERS? IF YOU’RE A QUAINT, OLD-FASHIONED SOUL, JUST TELL ‘EM THE TRUTH, SAYS FLO WHITAKER
Unsolicited telephone calls are a two-fold nuisance. They’re often illegal and usually occur at highly inconvenient moments; when you’re painting a ceiling or dealing with something unpleasant the cat’s brought in. Some marketing calls are perfectly legitimate, so I try to be polite in my responses. Everyone’s got to make a living and charmless call centres are full of stressed-out individuals working on commission – what an awful job it must be. However, the other day I received a fraudulent call from a person so inept, it was irritating and laughable in equal measure. He had a long list of topics and was intent on finding the right line to hook me with. Sadly, for him, this old trout didn’t take the bait. His opening gambit was to inform me that my online bank account had been hacked. “I don’t do online banking,” was my honest reply, so he referred to my recent car accident. “I don’t drive and have never owned a car,” I replied – again in complete honesty, so he swiftly selected another topic, informing me there was a payment error regarding a booking with a well-known airline. “I haven’t flown for 30 years,” I truthfully said. Sensing defeat, he made a final cast of the net, telling me that my TV licence had expired. When I genuinely stated that I’ve never owned a telly, he decided he was either speaking to a lunatic or a time traveller from the 19th century, muttered an expletive, then hung up. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
A green alternative to a traditional cemetery Set in 15 acres of countryside you can be part of a new English wood that will be protected from development, within the South Downs National Park. Dedicated areas for natural burial and scattering are surrounded by native trees for future generations to visit, remember and enjoy.
Get in touch Brighton Road, Clayton ,West Sussex BN6 9PD 01273 843842
www.claytonwood.co.uk
LOCAL COMPANY ESTABLISHED OVER 30 YEARS
• Largest Mercedes fleet in Sussex • Quality vehicles at competitive prices • Comprehensive 25 item safety inspection carried out before each hire • 24 hour 365 day Mercedes breakdown cover
• No mileage charge • FREE evening collection (subject to availability) • Ample free parking
Also available are sack trolleys & ratchet straps for hire Newhouse Farm, Cuckfield Road, Hurstpierpoint, Sussex BN6 9LL
www.vht-rentals.co.uk 56 SUSSEX LIVING | April 2020
April 20 Adrian Warwick Active Retirement.indd 56
20/03/2020 13:04