Journey to Nicaragua - A young girls's dream shattered and found

Words and Pics by Natasha Lazdins

Once upon a time I was a little girl with Big Dreams. I promised myself I’d make my dreams a reality one day - I imagined travelling to the places the educational system never taught; the experience of self, through worlds unseen by the eyes and languages unspoken. No fixed compass, no one direction, never complete, yet whole. I wanted to feel free in the exploration of falling in love with everything and everyone.

I believed the nature of life should be valued immensely, exploring all depths and dimensions; never changing the framework of my reality, but coming into realisation of experiencing myself as an individual.

I could feel an internal riptide pulling my spirit towards where the jungle edge meets the blue sea. But can anyone just pack up and move their entire life across the other side of the world like that? It takes something different, a certain type of strength, and surrender. It seemed crazy yet inspiring. I worked a seemingly ‘successful’ job, but believed maybe I could find someplace where money didn’t matter, where the jungle was life, living simply on fundamentals and depth of the natural surroundings.

In April 2007, I packed my bags and quit my job. I had to be my own best friend and support my decision. I had to choose to trust in myself, rather than listen to society’s impressions. Knowing whatever I chose to do, I would share my greatness in all the places that I would go. The world was mine to wander and I knew that, as long as I was living my truth, with ‘what felt right’ in my heart, everything would always work out for the better; and I would discover all that unknown beauty along the way. Yet, it has not been an easy road.

I had been travelling through Europe for three months with three attempts to get into Croatia but never getting there. The morning of my planned flight, I misplaced my passport, missed my flight and almost missed my island hopping adventure. I did not realise at the time that the universe was trying to intervene – trying to stop me! Rather than listen, I pushed through the stoppages to ensure I landed where ‘I wanted to be’ so I could continue my adventures in Croatia.

Dubrovnik is a city in southern Croatia fronting the Adriatic Sea. It’s known for its distinctive Old Town and its cliffs are perfect for cliff diving. The cliff jump was approximately 16 metres and the feeling of exhilaration as I jumped was wonderful. This feeling quickly turned to one of horror as my body slammed into what felt like a slab of concrete. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t feel my body. Floating with death as if life wasn’t simply enough, I asked, “What the f@#k have I done to myself?”

It was July 16th, 2007 and it was only 24 hours after landing in Croatia. Basic intelligence is knowing that suffering can be a consequence of ignorance. If only I’d listened to my gut feeling and the universe.

Within 24 hours, I went from wild and free to being tied to a plank of wood for a 12-hour boat ride, semiconscious, in excruciating pain and was eventually hospitalised. I had snapped my spine. I could feel the crunch in my smashed vertebrae, nothing was aligned. Or was it?

Destiny had her way and I was a playing it out. A heartbeat away from death, morphine shots, fits and screams of agonising pain in a third world hospital. I was whipped from bed to bed, no English speakers anywhere, 90 degree heat, and in one filthy stench of a medical facility. I was paralysed from the waist down, so senseless.

I was hospitalized for three weeks and sent away with two surgical plates and eight screws dangerously placed just 2mm from my heart artery. My L1 and L2 vertebrae were crushed apart, which inflicted serious nerve damage from the waist down and from that moment on, my body was in serious trouble and I felt lost.

One month later, after a coordinated first-class flight sorted by my insurance company, I arrived home in Australia. The next year followed further facilitations and due to my paralysis, I was wheelchair bound for 10 months, and braced from my underarm to hip.

Friends and family were my caretakers, my second set of legs, from any movement, to intense physio and all the daily bathroom and normal living routines. Whilst I honoured and appreciated them for doing this for me, my patience was wearing thin and I put an intense focus on healing.

I practiced meditation and was connected with many healers to guide my process. I was still travelling, just differently to how I had planned. The meditations took me to far out places and showed me ‘the way’ beyond the 3D illusion. The natural state of being, with limitless potential in universal consciousness redirecting me into the truth of my existence and soul purpose, my heart, my spirit and human format.

Feeling that my energy was becoming balanced, I had accepted my experience for what it was, my heart and my head were no longer in conflict because I believed I could realign.

After five months, an Australian neurosurgeon operated again, removed all the metal implements. I was under strict instruction of care and continued to wear the brace to prevent movement. After 13 months I was stable enough to continue my travels, with routine physiotherapy and yoga I strengthened and managed my body.

Although I was told I was unbelievably ‘lucky’ to walk, the doctors told me my usual active lifestyle of sports and running would be no more. I smiled sweetly, and have undoubtedly self-healed and proved them wrong.

Over the next seven years I travelled through 42 countries, each a unique experience, living mostly in the moment through sunshine, surf and snow. My many choices in my career path were led by the things I enjoy, yoga, health and natural healing modalities.

In essence I am paid with various currencies, exchange in trade, and I am inspired by many as I discover more of this world. All the while continuously unlocking my sensors in universal consciousness and co-creation, and believe in my ability to heal. Matters of heart formed the basis for connections to grow.

In 2012, I made the choice. Nicaragua. It seemed to be an island of calm in an otherwise turbulent corner of the world. The country is one

of the poorest in the northern hemisphere. My introduction was an indiscreet invitation to surf waves of frequency, along the jungle lined seaside coast of Central America. Porque? Porque

All I can say is that it felt good. I didn’t need to know why. The more I discovered, the more I could see my dreams and visions true. I am living half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, surfing and telling tales of the mountains we climb. With a tribe of horses and the dogs and cats that adopted me, I connected with the quantum bio dynamic of animal communication and healing.

The foundational structure of my living here, a highlight of my belonging, became an entanglement of threads that created colour, style and texture with a man named Justin Bobby Brescia. There was a demand for decent hairdressers, so using simplicity in heart-mind, we created a magical little hair boutique by the sea. Brush Your Hair.

Every girl’s dream, and nearly a reality TV show, we became the dual masters of hair in San Juan del Sur, a charming little town, with brightly coloured wooden houses lining the streets of a close knit community.

I’m an unusual girl; I live in an unusual way. I take myself on spontaneous adventures to learn about this beautiful country I call home. My house is on a mountain top in the jungle just off the dusty road less travelled.

The waves and beaches are to die for - thriving adventure, colourful sundrenched colonial cities and an island which is home to not one, but two volcanoes. It’s cheap and ‘off-thebeaten track’ but aside from great waves, yoga and a budget friendly lifestyle, there lies within it extreme contrasts particularly that of rich and poor. I learned that living in a foreign country certainly is not designed to make you feel comfortable.

The families that reside in my neighbourhood live off the garbage dump and scavenge the surrounding area for survival, with limited access to water supply, food and electricity.

Witnessing their way of life helped me recognise that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much of a difference we can make in the lives of others. Between yoga studios, animal healing integration and surfing, I spend my time volunteering amongst the local community barrios, helping the families residing by the garbage dumps, assisting non-profit organizations and sharing my heart with the local underprivileged children and animals.

With worldwide awareness fundraising, over the years, I have fed hundreds of starving families in San Juan del Sur and fostered and rehomed many animals. My most recent campaign was for the work/slave horses of Nicaragua which suffer the most under their working conditions –‘Immediate

Care and Fundraising for Nicaraguan Horses in need’ raised $1,047 and has paid for veterinary bills and rehoming some of these horses. I am deeply grateful for all of the contributions made and will continue to fundraise for as many causes as I can.

If you feel drawn to connect with me you can do so via my website

www.natashaazdins.com