Ed’s Letter

A Letter from the Editor September 2020 Ed’s Letter

Understanding Bullying

This month in Melbourne under lockdown, I’ve seen more cyberbullying going on than pretty much any other time in my life. The lockdown has been challenging for many and the News/Fake News has been so mashed together, that it’s hard to make head or tail of what is reported. One thing for sure is that it’s creating fear in the community. Fear is a big component of bullying.

Cyberbullying, just one form of bullying, is on the rise and I’m struggling to understand why people think it’s OK to post such hurtful comments, yet they are out there in spades and it’s adults that are doing it!

As a person that’s been on the receiving end of bullying from a kid through to adulthood, I am glad we didn’t have social media when I was young, especially after hearing some of the stories in this month’s issue. Too many young people have committed suicide because of physical and cyberbullying.

One of the kids, Amy (Dolly) Everett’s tragic passing, was in the headlines across

Anthony Kilner

Australia. It is still creating an uproar and has led to laws being implemented. Refer to Jason D Varga’s story on cyberbullying on PAGE 16.

A person experiencing the bullying can be impacted so severely that it affects family and friends equally. Many end up on drugs, both prescribed and illegal, causing a vicious circle of horrendous problems. The impact of bullying when a young person, or any person for

that matter, commits suicide it is also extremely harrowing.

There is also bullying in the workplace from both co-workers and bosses, which creates significant stress on people that then bleeds into the home front. Having worked under a couple of bosses that were control freaks and bullies. I fully understand the despair due to the financial burdens, especially when you have a family to support, that keep a person locked in a job. I have to say, the liberation I felt when leaving said positions was absolutely ecstatic. I thank them now for what I learnt back then.

We can add bullying to the public forum, by the government and local council. Even the media is equally guilty with the public left feeling abused and lost. It sounds depressing and, for many of us, it is.

We’ve tried to cover a range of different ages and scenarios in this issue regarding bullying and the messages are similar. The feelings of depression, anxiety, worthlessness and self-harm, all carefully coerced or bullied into a person’s psyche, can destroy their confidence and self-worth.

One tremendous positive, coming from my discussions and interviews with Hannah, Mikey, Russell and the columnists, is the acknowledgment of light at the end of the tunnel. In every case of bullying, we’ve chatted about coming out the other side with confidence and feelings of empowerment. This was true in each case.

My interest is in what makes a bully.

Based on my experience over the years I feel bullying starts, for many, in the womb. An aggressive father, or in some cases a mother, sets a tone that the child picks up on. Once a child is born, the impact the parents and people around them make, even the ads on TV or radio, teaches our kids to be bullies. This can create fear and confidence issues, which they overcome by being a bully, as they fight to survive their predicament. And that’s just to the so-called normal kids. Take a look at the bullying carried out because someone looks or sounds different to the social ‘NORM!’

Look at the games people play online or, that nearly every movie out that features kids, will always feature a bully. There’s no doubt that some kids see the power in being a bully and then there’s the gang angle, with the pressure on kids to bully others to fit in to the clique.

I don’t have all the answers, but our empowered survivors of bullying talk about coming out the other side, more aware and enlightened and, in all cases, a supportive family and friends were the key to surviving the situation. Maybe it’s just that simple – having the conversation, calling it out and being heard!

We have created a Mental Health Services Directory (PAGE 28) for anyone that needs to make that call – whether you are the person being bullied or a caring friend that needs advice on how to help.

Do you have a bullying story you’d like to share? I’d be interested in hearing it. Please email me at

editor@supernalmagazineaustralia.com.au

Anthony Kilner Have a bully-free Supernal month!

Supernal Magazine Giveaways

Don’t forget to check out the Facebook page for the giveaway post, follow some necessary prompts and get into the draw to win some fab prizes. There are still loads more prizes in the offing!