The Story Matters
Mayhem p.4 Delicious Diamonds! Jewelry Designer Tara Rose opens her new studio in Midtown Miami.
Vol. XXV No. 37
September 30, 2010
Visit us at sunpostweekly.com
NATIVE SON
Alex Daoud Isn’t Done Putting His Imprint on His Beloved Miami Beach
SEE PAGE 10 MAYHEM P.4
PROFILE P. 6
POLITICS P. 8
NEWS P. 8
CALENDAR P.14
FILM P. 18
ART P. 18
MUSIC P. 18
411 P.20
GO! P. 22
FASHION P.24
SEX P. 26
Letters
Stand Up to the Unions EXECUTIVE EDITOR Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com
To the Editor: Kudos to Miami Beach Commissioners Tobin, Weithorn and Wolfson for having the backbone to stand up and vote no on the obscene increase in property taxes passed by the other four commissioners. When will the City Commission, the City Administration and the people of this city wake up and come to grips with the strangle hold unions hold over Convention Center Drive? I never thought I would say this but the Miami Beach City Commission should follow the courage of the Miami City Commission when in standing its ground with unions. The Mayor of Miami said it best “we must all learn to live within our means” ; that goes for the overpaid workers here in Miami Beach. I value every bit what the police, firefighters and other city workers do each and every day; however the golden egg laying real estate goose has been long cooked and consumed and is gone. The new economics dictate that the city must learn to adjust, the bloated staffs of city hall must be cut, the expensive pension plans and medical insurance for life give aways must go; we the tax payers can ill afford higher property taxes for less services. I make significantly less today than I did 5 years ago; I like many people have not seen a pay raise in a long time; why do these union employees feel entitled to pay raises every year; the concept of I get raise every year is over in the private sector and should be over in Miami Beach. Cutting is never easy, making hard decisions to do more with less is what the private sector has been doing for some time since the economy when south; the City Commission needs to stand up to the unions; forget the campaign contributions they get from unions and do what is required to maintain the safety and security of the city and steward the city through these difficult times without raping the home owners. Frank Kruszewski Miami Beach
SOCIETY EDITOR Jeannette Stark jeannette@sunpostweekly.com COPY EDITOR Mary Louise English
PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stuart Davidson stuart@sunpostweekly.com ACCOUNTING Sandie Friedman
CALENDAR EDITOR Jake Orsinni calendar@sunpostweekly.com
SALES DIRECTORS Jeannette Stark Manny Duran
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jeffrey Bradley Charles Branham-Bailey Stuart Davidson Marguerite Gil Jennifer Fragoso John Hood Dr. Sonjia Kenya Joshua Malina Ruben Rosario Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Michael Sasser Kim Steiner
Gustavo Abdelnour FOUNDER Jeannette Stark PUBLISHER EMERITUS Felix Stark (1929-1995) WEB SITE sunpostweekly.com PRODUCTION Blue Studio
Kudos to the Miami Beach Commissioners To the Editor: How can we possibly pay more for property tax? I ask you, are we not paying enough? At some point, someone has to say “NO”. Thank God it finally happened. I applaud Tobin, Wolfson and Weithorn for finally speaking for the people of Mimi Beach and saying a resounding “NO” to raising taxes. Finally, you guys stood up for us homeowners when we needed you most. Bravo! Tim Yancy Miami Beach
WE WELCOME LETTERS TO THE EDITOR FROM OUR READERS FOR PUBLICATION. IF YOUR LETTER IS PUBONLY THE AUTHOR’S NAME AND HOMETOWN WILL BE PUBLISHED. PLEASE KEEP YOUR LETTER TO 300 WORDS OR LESS. LISHED, PERSONAL INFORMATION IS FOR VERIFICATION PURPOSES ONLY.
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CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Stuart Davidson Jennifer Fragoso Marguerite Gil Ines Hegedus-Garcia Jipsy Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Mitchell Zachs
MAILING ADDRESS P.O. Box 191870 Miami Beach, FL 33119 MAIN LINE 305.482.1785
FOR ADVERTISING & RATE INFO: Please call 305.482.1785 or email kim@sunpostweekly.com SUBSCRIPTIONS First class mailing subscriptions are available at $150 per year. Call 305.538.9797. Copyright: The entire contents of SunPost are copyright 2010 by SunPost Media Inc. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means including electronic media without the express written consent of the publisher. Covering Miami Beach, North Bay Village, Surfside, Bay Harbor Islands, Bal Harbour, Sunny Isles Beach, North Miami, North Miami Beach and Aventura, Coconut Grove, Brickell Avenue, Downtown, Design District, Wynwood, Upper Eastside, and Miami Shores.
ADAMS VETERINARY CLINIC Full Service Clinic: Surgery • Boarding • Medical • Dental X-rays • Ultrasound • Diagnostics Small Mammals, Dogs, Cats, & Exotics
ADAMS VETERINARY CLINIC: 672 NE 79 ST, MIAMI • 305.757.7309
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 3
Tropical Mayhem BITS AND PIECES OF MIAMI LIFE
Miami through my iphone
DELICIOUS DIAMONDS Okay girls, this one is for you. Head to Midtown and check out Ring Finger Studio, a new green luxury bridal jewelry boutique. The brainchild of jewelry designer Tara Rose, the studio is opening this month. So ladies drag your beau-to-be down to Ring Finger Studio and check out their delicious diamonds including the hot rock above. Want something original? Well Tara will design something just for you. Ring Finger Studio, 3250 NE 1st Ave; Third Floor, Miami. For info: ringfingerstudio.com.
MIAMI, SPEAK YOUR MIND! We welcome submissions to Tropical Mayhem. To get your business or item considered for publication, email a hi-res photograph (300dpi) and a description to kim@miamisunpost.com. Page 4 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
MIAMI BEACH POSH by Ines Hegedus-Garcia - miamism.com - ines@miamism.com The three Heat kings are shaking up our real estate with their mojo. But the news is not just about what they are buying, but what they are getting others to buy as well. Here’s one of their bay front pads just South of La Gorce Island - one thing is for sure: One of the 3 has great taste.....Miami Beach contemporary architecture at its best. Hot! Hot! Hot!
O CTOBER W INE M ONTH
AT THE
F ORGE
Something new and fun from the Forge is their October Wine Month, a celebration of dining that will pair a special prix-fixe dinner with special wine selections. Every Wednesday and Thursday in October, Forge Chef Dewey LoSasso will create a three-course dinner, each course to be paired with three-ounce wine samplings selected by Executive Sommelier Gino Santangelo for $55. “We like to keep The Forge experience fresh and exciting for our foodies and wine lovers,” said proprietor Shareef Malnik. “I see this as an opportunity for people, both novices and oenophiles, to experience an inspired pairing of food with wines carefully selected for our new, weekly menus.” The October Wine Month dinners will also host complimentary wine samplings to introduce new winemakers and varietals. The tastings will take place at The Forge Wine Bar which already offers an array of vintages via the 80-bottle Enomatic Wine System. The Forge Restaurant | Wine Bar is located at 432 41st Street, Miami Beach. For info: theforge.com
www.miamisunpost.com • The SunPost • September 30, 2010 • Page 5
PHOTO: MAGICALPHOTOS.COM / MITCHELL ZACHS
PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY YOU SHOULD KNOW
Silvia Karman Cubina Creative Curator Compiled By Kim Steiner WHO ARE YOU?
Executive Director and Chief Curator of the Bass Museum in Miami Beach
museum must develop it’s own, individual curatorial vision and each exhibition must add to this larger vision.
I am still working on it. WHAT DO YOU DO NOW, THAT YOU DID NOT DO 5 YEARS AGO?
WHO ARE YOUR ART ICONS?
I run a museum, and I text (thanks to my two teenaged boys)
This is a large question: Isaac Julien (who we are working with now), Cindy Sherman, John Cage, Andy Warhol, Yves Klein, Jenny Holzer, Barbara Kruger, Felix Gonzalez Torres, and the list goes on...
SOMETHING NEW, THAT YOU HAVE JUST DISCOVERED ABOUT YOURSELF? I really enjoy my Videosync hip hop class
Art, people, surprises, passion, ideas, attention to detail, craftmanship, original points of view, boldness, risk...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO SHAKE UP THE MIAMI ART SCENE?
WHAT ARE YOUR GUILTY PLEASURES?
Showing good art and getting people excited about it.
Eating mini cupcakes
WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT WHAT YOU DO?
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE?
ONE LUXURY THAT YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT?
Discovering how art can touch people
Classic with an occasional fun touch, here and there
My lavender scented Lampe Berger
HOW DO YOU CHOOSE THE EXHIBITIONS AT THE MUSEUM?
WHAT DREAM HAVE YOU HAD THAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED?
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOU?
WHAT DO YOU DO IN REAL LIFE?
I am a mom and a wife WHAT EXCITES YOU VISUALLY AND CREATIVELY?
I see lots and lots of art; I talk to lots and lots of people and I study. A
Page 6 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 7
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Can He Say That? COLUMN
County Hall Recommends Twinkies for Everyone! By Charles Branham-Bailey One day after the Great Recession of 2007-09 was declared dead-and-done by a national economic research bureau, the former city manager of Bell, California ($787,000 salary), his assistant ($376,000), plus the mayor and five part-time council members ($100,000 apiece) – all of whom, evidently, must have been oblivious to the existence of a recession, judging from the exorbitant salaries they paid themselves – were rounded up by police and marched off to trade pin stripes for jail stripes. The Los Angeles Times blew the lid off the pell-mell hell in Bell back in July. Two reporters got wind of the stench emanating from City Hall while investigating possible malfeasance in a neighboring town. Then the L.A. County district attorney capped it off last week by executing arrest warrants for one and all. “Corruption on steroids,” D.A. Steve Cooley called it. Bell (population 36,500) has nearly as many residents as Hallandale Beach, but crammed into about half the space. Council members in towns the size of Bell earn an average $4,800 a year, prosecutors noted. But these greedy goons had been sidling up to the public trough and ladling out for themselves astronomic compensation. Adding together his salary and benefits, the city manager alone drained a total of $1.5 million in his last year. The town’s main zip code is 90201. This merry band of pirates – whose crime, according to state law, was NOT overpaying themselves but, rather, lying about it – went about looting the city treasury, behaving as if they thought they were living in another, more posher and la-la part of L.A. County where those last two zip code numerals are reversed. In fact, Beverly Hills council members make just $9,400 annually. Its city manager, when compared to Bell’s former one, earns a paltry $275,000. The good citizens of Bell, of course, paid dearly for those out-of-this-world salaries: They got nailed with a .09% hike in their property taxes, beginning in 2007. Yup, that would be the same year the Great Recession began. A recession the town crooks either were blind to or just didn’t give a rat’s ass about (“Recession? What recession?”). What happened in Bell hasn’t happened here because our county commissioners ($6,000 salary, plus $55,000 in annual benefits, including car and expense allowances) have never been able to convince MiamiDade voters to approve pay raises in 11 attempts over half a century. We were going to be asked a twelfth time, with a ballot question in August’s primary, but commissioners chickened out last May and withdrew it. They must have sensed it would be a losing proposition. That, or maybe the realization dawned on them that it was an absofuckin-lutely stupid thing to have hat in hand, asking vot-
Page 8 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
ers for a pay raise, AMID A RECESSION. Which we now know was, by that time, technically over anyway. But they apparently didn’t think it beneath themselves to initially ask for a raise regardless (“Recession? What recession?”). Nor was it beneath them last week, while hammering out the county’s budget, to decide that what county taxpayers and homeowners need RIGHT NOW is more property taxes, and what county employees (all 28,000 of ‘em) need RIGHT NOW are more perks and more pay. The sheer arrogance! It takes a unique subset of political species to be so tone-deaf to believe that when times are hard and people are hurting, that’s the time to dip their ladles into the public till and spoon out pay raises for themselves and fellow government employees. Yet the County Commission okayed that budget last week. What a way to stick it to the peasants. Especially in a county suffering 12% unemployment. Where foreclosures are up. Where – despite official declarations that it’s over – the Great Recession doesn’t appear to have lifted. It’s as if the spirit of Marie Antoinette had crossed two centuries and was speaking through our commissioners last week, goading them to as much as say to us peasants: “LET THEM EAT FUNNEL CAKE!” See, our county leaders believe that if you’re a county employee, you shouldn’t have to suffer the effects of the Great Recession – or, apparently, any economic downturn – as the common folk must. Because you’re special. And what of us non-employee common folk who care to, dare to, complain? “LET THEM EAT TWINKIES!” Just because the rest of us suffer doesn’t mean that our county leaders are inclined to share our pain. Back in January, County Manager George Burgess expected that 2010 property values would fall and county revenue would drop as a result. Yet he, Mayor Alvarez, and commissioners agreed to rustle up pay raises and benefit hikes for county employees to the tune of $132 million (“Recession? What recession?”). Did you get a raise this year? Did you enjoy a spike in your benefits? I didn’t think so. Or did the economy downsize you out of a job? Did it strip you of what benefits you had remaining to your name? As a county employee, you can expect a safety net or golden parachute to catch you if you fall. If you’re just a commoner, well... good luck. Being a county employee also means never having to sacrifice perks. Commissioners last year may have slashed $400 million in spending, but that didn’t include cutbacks on perks like their taxpayer-subsidized luxury rides.
NORMAN BRAMAN
While the rest of us get by on whatever, we’ve furnished Burgess his 2010 Infiniti, Commissioners Joe Martinez his 2010 Lexus, Audrey Edmonson her 2010 Cadillac, Rebeca Sosa her 2009 Infiniti, and Carlos Gimenez his 2009 Mercedes. And regular readers of this column already are aware of what we’ve provided hizzoner, Carlos the Arrogant, for whom a trip to an ear doctor might now confirm his political tone deafness to be a full-blown, chronic, and irreversible disability. Burgess justified his fancy set of wheels because “I work very, very hard.” Of course you do, Little Georgie. Would you like a gold star? Their refusal to reduce or surrender their perks is, as the head of government watchdog group Florida TaxWatch told the Herald last spring, “bad in prosperous times, and incredibly inappropriate and unacceptable in these most severe economic times. “It says,” Dominic Calabro declared, “[that] public service is not about serving the public good, it is about self-aggrandizement and selfish interest.” You don’t say. Some get the message. Hialeah’s city council, for instance, made cuts to police overtime and holiday pay, and will make its officers contribute some of their base pay to their own health insurance costs. “This is not a reflection of their work or their professionalism or their service to the community,” Mayor Julio Robaina told the Herald in August. “This is just a reality of what our world is going through.” The sequel to Wall Street is out now in theaters. “Greed is good,” was the infamous mantra from the original. But greed got Gordon Gekko a prison sentence, and now, in the sequel, he has emerged from lockup a changed man, touting a book on the lecture circuit entitled, “Is Greed Good?” The idiots inside the Stephen Clark Building seem to think so. They’ve taken Gekko’s discarded mantra to heart. Will they ever change? Or will their Antoinettian rebuke to us be – “LET THEM EAT MOON PIES!” So now comes local auto magnate Norman Braman to – “How DARE the impertinence! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!” – threaten a recall campaign against the aristocracy at County Hall. A headline in last week’s Herald (“Recall threat stirs officials’ anger”) summed up a reaction echoed by Commissioner Barbara Jordan at last week’s commission meeting: “I resent any attempt at intimidation,” harrumphed her royal highness. Well, excuuuuse us. It only happens to be OUR county government, OUR tax dollars, and OUR prerogative whether to even retain you pompous ass-wipes in office or give you the booting-out that you so richly deserve. A recall election may be just the appetizing dessert we need to chase down this bad case of indigestion. Mr. Braman, bring it on! As for the pirates of Bell, let them all eat plenty of humble pie. I hear it’s on the prison menu.
Politics COLUMN
Darwin vs the Unions Engels, Where’s Marx?
News
Meow? Humans Observe Spay Day on Miami Beach By Joshua Malina
By Jeffrey Bradley An election year that promises not much in the way of political fireworks—there’s no expectation of any incumbent being seriously challenged—still is rife with backstories for anyone with a discerning eye. Take, for instance, the fact that, if you’re a sitting commissioner, life becomes a whole lot easier with no opponents to run against. It’s pretty much a tabula rasa when no one’s there to dog your steps or ask you pesky questions. Anyway, who needs that stuff when there’s business needs doing? It’s makes it so much easier when voting to raise taxes or negotiating with unions or dealing with the myriad things that make up a political life. After all, it’s alot easier to open up the throttle when you look down the tracks and see nothing but green signals ahead. And speaking of green, the last hold-out union finally signed their pact with the City. What a deal! While we don’t know exactly what are the details, we do know they’re asking a lot. And while it’s true there’s talk of freezes, deferred COLAs and “substantial savings” due to concessions, it remains a fact that these cats are livin’ large. Besides the rock-solid health plan (includes eye and dental coverage), there’s that guaranteed pension plan after 5 years of service that’s good for life. And if you’re a cop or a fireman, when you die, your spouse inherits that for-life pension. Nice gig, that! Still, with all the down-sizing, outsourcing and mid-leveling going on in the private sector, what kind of pension will you be getting? Whatever it is, if it is, we bet it isn’t for life. Then of course there’s that “holiday/overtime” pay, meaning that under certain auspices if you work 8 hours you’ll get paid for 28. And let’s not forget the demand of “no Layoffs through September 30, 2013” or that “No employee covered under the CWA Bargaining Unit will be separated (union-speak for fired) from their position with the City for reasons other than discipline or voluntary separation” (wouldn’t want ‘em to miss that 28 hours’ pay), or that the City agree to “Reinstate all employees who have been laid off.” <Whew!> Why not ask for a Christmas turkey, too? All we can say is, Unions, be prepared to explain yourselves. Very. Slowly. Which is kind of like asking John Kerry, “Why the long face?” Last we heard, you had to earn a raise, not be handed one just for showing up. We can attest to it; in the world of 1099s—there’s a good chance you’re one if you’re not in a union—you bring your A game everyday lest the person behind you overtakes you. We believe this is called merit or capitalism or even earning it. Like the man said, the only guarantees in life are death and taxes.
Contributing Writer
Why does the City put up with it? The main reason we think is (drumroll, please) …money! Take, for instance, Commissioner Jonah Wolfson who’s already larded his reelection war chest with funds from the unions. Not to slight the Commissioner, but we’re willing to bet the farm—including the chicken coop—that no sitting commissioner has or will turn down union money. He’s just the only one so far to publicly say so. And if you don’t think that affects how commissioners think—and vote—then you belong in that coop with the chickens. So, in a round-the-Mulberry-bush scenario, politicians turn to the unions because they need money (or think they do), and attempt to turn a sleazy practice—garnering union “endorsements”, which is politico-speak for “we own you”) into a virtue. But it doesn’t wash; you take Beelzebub’s largesse, my friends, and you’ve made a pact with the devil. Where’s Daniel Webster when we need him? While the City played, and shockingly, won this round of hardball, it could well be a Pyrrhic victory. By forcing the union’s hand—the City rattled the rank-and-file with dire predictions of impending layoffs—they got what they wanted in the way of short-term concessions… which does absolutely nothing by way of addressing the festering issue of pensions. Instead of tackling reform, the City deferred it; two years hence, it will be back to bite the City right on the backside. A lack of candor; a lack of vision; a lack of leadership. Indeed, much as it pains us to write the terms “common sense” and “unions” in the same sentence (we had to place our left hand upon our right and force the pen across the page), they have to be given their props. For they’re right on two counts: administrative bigwigs DO make far too much money—this is “public service”, and if lucre is your allure, then change thy name to Gordon Gecko and get thee away to Wall Street—and, apologies to the City Administrator, but that position simply is not worth rewarding a quarter-million dollar pension. City administrators and elected officials and unionistas: birds of a feather that eschew even the hint of financial Darwinism for the sake of guaranteed golden parachutes, perks set in stone, and give-me emollients. Both continue their pas-dedeux of money and influence (“it’s just politics”), while the electorate sits on the sidelines and glowers. And while the squeaky wheel may well get the oil, it’s equally true that the quacking duck gets shot.
On an otherwise sleepy Sunday morning on Miami Beach, sounds of fear and wisps of fur floated across Michigan Avenue. A chorus of cats meowed and pawed, claustrophobic in their metal cages in Flamingo Park. The event last Sunday morning was the kick-off of Cat 3000, a joint effort by two animal welfare groups to neuter a feral cat problem in the city. Named for the estimated feral cat population in Miami Beach, Cat 3000 is organized by locally based Cat Network and Ft. Lauderdale’s Clydey Foundation to reduce that number by sterilization in a multi-year project. The costs of such efforts, however, can be daunting. “It costs $35 to neuter a single cat,” said John Curbelo of the Cat Network, which has neutered some 51,000 cats since its inception in 1995, according to its website. With a cat problem in the thousands, that cost can be prohibitive. It also takes time and effort to bait and trap a cat, and to take it to a veterinarian for surgery. Sunday’s Spay Day was an attempt to make that effort a little easier, and was successful in trapping and neutering nearly 80 feral cats from around the city. Although that may seem like a small first effort, neutering even that many cats can prevent the births of thousands, given the frequency of when female cats going into “heat” and their sizable litters. “In order to really control the problem, you have to be aggressive, and aggressively fix the animals,” Curbelo said. He laments what he sees as a lackadaisical effort by city government — which has recently pledged an annual $5000 contribution — to take the problem seriously. “I’ve been ringing alarm bells for years,” he said. But with region-wide budget problems — the city of Miami Beach recently covered a $29 million budget gap with
an increased property tax — cat neutering efforts don’t always receive much public attention. That changed last month when the Miami Herald reported on a colony of street cats trapped inside a demolition site on Ocean Drive. “You could hear them meowing from inside,” Curbelo said. The cat problem in Miami Beach has a storied history that began in 1912 with the introduction of cats to solve a rat problem, according to the Herald. Today’s problem, however, is the cats themselves, which appear to be everywhere. “They’re in the alleys, in the parks, behind the restaurants, on the boardwalk — they are everywhere where there is somewhere to hide and something to eat,” Mayoral Chief of Staff Rebecca Wakefield said. Although a large population of cats doesn’t seem to represent any health risk, it can be a nuisance. “Residents are tired of finding dead kittens in their yards,” Wakefield said. They have also been known to meow during heat and spray urine to mark their territory, she said. The city responds to code enforcement violations — dog barking, dogs in places where they don’t belong — but neither the city nor Miami-Dade County have the resources to take in the staggering population of cats that call South Florida home. “Come to an alley around dinner-time, and you’ll see,” cat activist Curbelo said. “It’s depressing.”
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 9
ALEX DAOUD WORKING OUT AT THE SO FLA BOXING GYM ON WASHINGTON AVENUE
COVER STORY
nce upon a time the name
O
Alex Daoud was synonymous with political corrup-
tion, at least on Miami Beach. After all, the wildly popular mayor was eventually busted for the kind of paternalistic, ol’ boy corruption that, well, defines much of the history of a broader South Florida community built on land scams and get-rich-quick schemes. Despite his colorful history, though, Daoud’s popularity with
e v i t Na Son
e n o D t ’ n s I d u o a D x e l s i A H n o t n i r p m I s i H g n h Putti c a e B i m a i Beloved M er ichael W. SRass Written by M TE RI W CONTRIBUTING l Zachs com / Mitchel s. to o h lP a ic g by Ma Photography
longtime Beach residents has waned surprisingly little. Since his liberation from prison, he’s penned a tell-all book, is working on the movie version, and is enjoying life on Miami Beach as a kind-of elder statesman now removed from political circles. After all, in an era in which congressmen are openly bought off for their votes and in which corruption has become political infrastructure, the kind of shenanigans for which Daoud was busted seem charming. After all, anyone who has ever met Daoud can tell he has a real love and passion for the Beach.
aoud is nothing if not a ubiquitous Miami Beach character. The Beach native is an author and the former mayor of Miami Beach, Florida who served from 1985 to 1991. Daoud was elected to the Miami Beach City Commission in 1979. He was re-elected to a second term in 1981 and a third term in 1983. In 1985, he became the first Roman Catholic to be elected mayor of Miami Beach. In 1987, he won re-election by eightysix percent of the popular vote. In 1989, he was reelected to an unprecedented third term as mayor of Miami Beach. Daoud was a beloved mayor but lived a scandalous life while in office. In his book Sins of South Beach The True Story of Corruption, Violence, Murder, and the Making of Miami Beach, he describes how, as an idealistic young lawyer, he was seduced by money, power and sex. The former mayor was indicted for 41 counts of bribery, served eighteen months in a federal prison and retired from politics.
D
and insane asylums, terrorized the predominantly elderly Jewish population of Miami Beach. It’s the story of a city’s renaissance and the crime and corruption that fueled it. The book has received many excellent reviews and is to become a major motion picture. Cinepro Pictures/ Phillipe Martinez Productions has acquired the exclusive rights to produce the film. Martinez is the internationally renowned producer of over 30 films. The majority of the filming is expected to take place in Miami Beach. Just last week, a pre-production crew for the film version of Sins was in town, coincidentally at the same time that the Fifth Street Gym re-opening was being celebrated. Daoud, a boxing enthusiast, worked out at the famous Fifth Street Gym during its heyday. The former mayor trained under Angelo Dundee and did roadwork with the likes of Muhammad Ali and other world champion. Daoud was, of course, invited to the event as a special celebrity guest. SunPost decided the occasion called for a chat with Daoud on his thoughts on his colorful life, current projects and the
state of Miami Beach today – the good, the bad and the unchanged after these many years. MS: How was the event at the Fifth Street Gym last week, your old stomping grounds? Alex Daoud: You know, I ended up not going. I started to go, but I decided that I just didn’t want to see Ali in the condition he is in. I understand he has really deteriorated and I feel bad for him. What do you think about the re-opening of the Fifth Street Gym? Oh, the new gym is nothing like the old gym. The new gym is more like a museum. It doesn’t have the feel or the ambiance of the old Fifth Street Gym. The Fifth Street Gym was one of a kind. MS: I understand that the folks producing the movie from your book, Sins of South Beach, were in town at the same time last week? Where is the movie project at now? We’re in pre-production and they are in the process of getting a script together. I also understand that they are in the process of raising the budget for the movie. I think they are looking to get a higher budget than the initial $15 million, which was already a really big number. They are also apparently talking to some major stars about being in the movie. What is your involvement in the movie
A lot of people might have kept a very low profile or even left town after what you have been through. Instead, you’ve been very public and very frank about your experiences, good and bad. Why did you take this particular approach? Well, I think there are lessons to be learned from the mistakes I made with my life. It’s not how hard you get hit; it’s how hard you come back after you’ve been hit. A lot of people abandoned me. You know I went to trial and so many people like Abel Holtz just plead guilty. People have forgotten what other people did. The lesson is…that the public had the opportunity to learn how the process of politics works. It’s a dirty process. There is nothing friendly about it inside. It’s sad that so few people know how politics really works. I love Miami Beach and I felt like no one could run me out of it. People needed to know how things really worked in politics here. Now, I stay away from politics and I have a whole new area of life. I am able to meet people and be candid and honest with them. When you said you made mistakes – what do you see as the biggest mistake that you made? Avarice. Very much so. I got to the point where I had millionaires and billionaires asking me for favors and here I am making $10,000 a year. I figured,
“Many of the same people who were involved when I was mayor are still involved – the same bagmen.”
ABOVE: MAYOR ALEX DAOUD IN ACTION. TOP RIGHT: COVER OF THE BOOK SINS OF SOUTH BEACH. RIGHT: A YOUNG DAOUD WORKING OUT AT THE 5TH STREET GYM WITH MOHAMED ALI.
Daoud still is active in the community. In his book he recounts going on vigilante patrols with the Miami Beach Police Department while both city councilman and mayor routinely kidnapping and beating criminal suspects. Sins of South Beach, Daoud’s autobiographical expose, is a portrait of the city he led for three terms as mayor during the anything-goes ‘80s — when “cocaine cowboys” slaughtered each other in bloody drug wars and refugees from the Mariel Boatlift, many released by Fidel Castro from his worst jails Page 12 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
production? They have had me on as a consultant and I think it’s a great opportunity. Among other things, a lot of the movie will be shot here and I can help make sure that goes well and that the filming here ends up being financially good for the residents too. One of the things that has been interesting is how many people have come up to me and wanted parts in the movie. I told the producers that I would like to be responsible for casting the female extras. He told me he was afraid I would sell the parts. I told him, no, but that I would try them out first.
why should I make $10,000 a year when they couldn’t get elected mayor of Miami Beach. So, it was like, hey I can be your lawyer… Why is it so hard for politicians to ever admit they made a mistake? It’s about ego. You love the adulation of the public. Everyone likes feeling like a rock star. Hey I enjoyed it very much. I loved the interaction with the public. My phone number was always listed. My home number was on my business card. I even put my email address and phone number in the back of my book. Do you ever run into the people from the old political crowd? Well, I don’t hang out with lobbyists, but yeah, you run into people. It’s interesting that no one sued me from the book. No one even tried to kill me! I was told when the book came out that I would be sued because I named names of people doing illegal things. It never happened. Not once. That’s because everything in Sins of South Beach is true. Well, some women from the book said that I embellished the
GERALD SCHWARTZ ANNOUNCES DAOUD’S ELECTION VICTORY AT THE SHELBOURNE HOTEL ON THE BEACH.
love scenes. But, I said, hey, as you get older, that’s how you enjoy life. How has Sins of South Beach done? Well, particularly considering I self-published it and there was very little publicity. The Miami Herald never even wrote a word about the book. What a surprise that the Herald didn’t want to cover political corruption – ha! But the book also helped rehabilitate me. By getting the truth out, I got the venom out. I wanted to tell the truth and to tell it in an enjoyable fashion. It’s funny; people asked me who wrote the book – like, who was the ghostwriter. But, no, I wrote it myself. You mentioned you were working on a second book. What is it about? It’s a science fiction book about immortality really. My uncle was an M.D. and was in a MASH unit in WW II. After I got out of prison, I was going through stuff and found an old [family bible]. There was an old crumpled up piece of paper in it that fell out. It was a poem that my uncle wrote while going to my father’s funeral, for their mother. It was so beautiful. The story came out of that – it was just crystal clear. What do you think of the state of Miami Beach today? I think that there is good and bad. You used to have families on Miami Beach; a huge elderly population; and one of the largest populations of Holocaust survivors in the country. Unfortunately when Castro’s criminals came over here and Carter was duped, the place was horrible. We had two police officers killed and people didn’t remember that. We’ve lost something, but we have gained something
in return. Many families are gone and beautiful old synagogues are closing or have dwindled. We have changed from a family-oriented city to a party city. I also think a lot of politicians really haven’t cared very much. The current mayor is not as responsive as previous mayors. I was always available. Do you think politics is any different now, any less corrupt? No, I don’t think that’s changed at all. In many ways it’s gotten worse. When people spend half a million dollars to get a job that pays $10,000 a year, it’s just egregious. Besides many of the same people who were involved when I was mayor are still involved – the same bagmen. It isn’t just Miami Beach. Across the bay, the mayor gave his staff big bonuses while so many people are struggling…it’s absurd. Is the idea that you could get involved again in politics ever appealing to you? To tell the truth and to be able to name names is how I get involved. I don’t know of any other book that names names when it comes to committing crimes. What do you think is the largest contribution you made to the development of Miami Beach? Probably that we made the city safe at a time when it was totally unsafe. A lot of lived were lost. Everyone joined together to help make [Miami Beach] a better place. One of the things I love about Miami Beach is that people of all backgrounds have been able to work together and that everyone is treated like a human being. That really stands out. For information on Sins of South Beach, visit sinsofsouthbeach.com. www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 11
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
Page 14 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
SAVE THE DATE:
September 30 THEATER Young Frankenstein From the creative team of the The Producers, comes Young Frankenstein, starring Christopher Ryan and Preston Truman Boyd. Delivering all our favorite moments from the film, with a few new show-stopping numbers for the stage, including Transylvania Mania, He Vas My Boyfriend and Puttin’ on the Ritz. This wickedly inspired re-imagining of the Frankenstein legend follows bright young Dr. Frankenstein (that’s Fronkensteen) as he attempts to create a monster—but not without scary and hilarious complications. This show, which opened last night celebrates the 20th year of Broadway Across America in Ft Lauderdale. $25.00 to $69.00.Through October 17. Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 SW Fifth Ave; Fort Lauderdale. For info: broadwayacrossamerica.com
September 30 BOOKS Ricardo Pau-Llosa For over three and a half decades, Ricardo Pau-Llosa has been a prominent figure in the literary and visual arts of South Florida. An internationally recognized authority on Latin American Modernist art, Pau-Llosa has attained equal prominence as a poet and essayist. And he has also been collecting art. The University of Notre Dame’s Snite Museum of Art is featuring a major exhibition this fall – Parallel Currents: Highlights of the Ricardo Pau-Llosa Collection of Latin American Art (Aug. 29-Nov. 14). Pau-Llosa will be signing copies of the superbly designed and printed, full-color book accompanying the exhibition. Also being presented this evening is the just released book, The Miami of the Poet, with a selection of Pau-Llosa’s South Florida-inspired works alongside photographs by James Gersing. 8pm. Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave. Coral Gables. For info: booksandbooks.com
October 1 THEATER Madea’s Big Happy Family For the first time in 5 years, funny man Tyler Perry brings back the creative energy of his most famous character, Madea live on stage like never before. Madea’s Big Happy Family is the 12th stage play written by Tyler Perry. Her madcap exploits have been heralded throughout the U.S. She hits town this weekend for a two-night performance extravaganza. $64.30 to $74.55. 8pm. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd; Miami. For info: aaa.com
October 1 FILM Life During Wartime In 1998, indie Writer/Director Todd Solondz created his biting but hilarious social criticism of American mores and culture with Happiness. Ten years later, things in the United States have not changed much, and Solondz once again makes an updated point with his latest critically acclaimed film, Life During Wartime based on all of the characters in Happiness, but played by different actors. Alternately hilarious and tragic, outrageous and poignant, Life During Wartime is an audacious comedy with unexpected resonance. $10. 8pm. Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave; Miami Beach. For info: mbcinema.com
October 1 THEATER Miami Beach: The Musical
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2010
DIANA ROSS CATCH MUSIC LEGEND DIANA ROSS WHEN SHE PERFORMS LIVE AT THE HARD ROCK IN HOLLYWOOD. ROSS HELPED SHAPE THE MOTOWN SOUND AS LEAD SINGER OF THE SUPREMES UNTIL 1970, WHEN SHE LEFT THE GROUP FOR A SOLO CAREER. SHE HAS PERFORMED FOR PRESIDENTS, ROYALTY AND AT THE 2008 NOBEL PEACE PRIZE CONCERT IN OSLO. SHE HAS JUST WRAPPED HER LATEST SUMMER TOUR, MORE TODAY THAN YESTERDAY: THE GREATEST HITS WHICH FEATURED AN ALL-NEW SET LIST, STAGE DESIGN, AND COSTUMES GALORE, AND WAS DEDICATED TO MICHAEL JACKSON. $104 - $44. 7PM. HARD ROCK, 5747 SEMINOLE WAY, HOLLYWOOD. FOR INFO: HARDROCKLIVEHOLLYWOODFL.COM
October 2 DANCE Modern Dance Brilliant technique, visceral power, and intense emotions are hallmarks of Tania Pérez-Salas Compañía de Danza, one of Latin America’s most accomplished and honored contemporary dancers. The company comes to Miami direct from Washington DC’s Kennedy Center, as part of an international tour celebrating Mexico’s 200th anniversary of independence. 8pm. $25 to $90. Ziff Ballet Opera House, 1300 Biscayne Blvd; Miami. For info: arshtcenter.org
October 2 SPORT Dragon Boat Festival Head to Haulover this Saturday to watch the dragon boats compete for charity. This year it is for the American Cancer Society. Other fun activities include an Egg Roll Eating Contest, Martial Arts Performance, Kids’ Kite Contest, Lion & Dragon Dance, Authentic Asian Food, Face Painting, Bounce House, and lots more. 9am Free. Haulover Beach Park, 10800 Collins Ave; Sunny Isles Beach. For info: miamidragonboat.com
October 2 ART The Nudist Museum Artist Ellen Harvey’s new exhibition Nudist Museum, sounds very cool. She has recreated the existing Bass Museum’s collection in her own style. Some of the fifty-four paintings in the exhibit were cropped to accentuate the nudes. Harvey also chose to paint everything other than the human body in monochrome. Even the wallpaper behind the paintings has been touched, with small examples of nudity found in today’s mass media. Through November 7. $8. Bass Museum of Art, 2121 Park Ave; Miami Beach. For info: bassmuseum.org
October 2 DANCE Opening Season Arts Ballet Theatre of Florida, under the artistic direction of Vladimir Issaev, will launch their 2010-2011 season with a very unique repertoire of dance. The company will perform Issaev’s Four Seasons and Guest choreographer Yanis Pikieris’ new piece Danzon No. 2, followed by the production of Petrouchka. $25. 7pm. Aventura Arts & Cultural Center, 3385 NE 188th St; Aventura
What could be better than seeing the history of Miami Beach unfold before you in song? The folks at Arts at St Johns are putting on such a production which opens this weekend. Catch this cultural and historical play about the colorful history of Miami Beach for the past 100+ years. Song, dance, and original music featuring local performers, personalities and songwriters. Nothing could top this. $25. 8pm. Arts at St Johns, 4760 Pine Tree Dr; Miami Beach. For info: sjlfmc.brinkster.net
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 15
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
October 3 ART Florida Cattle Ranching Florida Cattle Ranching: Five Centuries of Tradition tells the story of one of Florida’s oldest and most important cultural activities. The exhibition traces cattle ranching from its early beginnings in Colonial Florida through present-day cattle ranching. Some of the topics included in the exhibit are Colonial Florida, Seminole cattle ranching, Cracker cowboys, cow dogs, auctions, oral traditions, rodeos, and material culture. The exhibit includes artifacts, archival photos, artwork by cowboy artists, cowboy poetry, audio and video components, and images by guest photographers Jon Kral, Bob Montanaro, Jimmy Peters, and Carlton Ward, Jr. Through January 23. $8. History Miami, 101 W Flagler St; Miami. For info hmsf.org
October 5 ART Why Were You Born? A group exhibition, Why Were You Born? featuring 27 multigenerational artists of widely divergent fame, notoriety, impropriety, and – not least – cunning is currently running at the Charest-Weinberg Gallery. Work by Barbeito, Baxter, Bureau, Dupont, Disney, Espinosa, Lam, Mapplethorpe, Newman, Picasso, Renoir, Spangler and Séguin to name a few. Through October 6. 11am to 6pm. Charest-Weinberg Gallery, 250 NW 23rd St; Miami. For info: charestweinberg.com
A FLORIDA COWBOY
$59.25. 8pm. Taft University Arena, 3301 College Ave; Hollywood. For info: nova.edu
October 6 BOOKS Mark Bittman New York Times bestselling author Mark Bittman will present a reading and book signing at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden this Wednesday. In The Food Matters Cookbook: 500 Revolutionary Recipes for Better Living, Bittman offers readers dishes that make conscious, sustainable eating a pleasure. Introduction by Michelle Bernstein. 6pm. $15. Tickets are required. A limited amount of tickets are free with pre-purchase of The Food Matters Cookbook at Books & Books Coral Gables prior to the event. Fairchild Tropical Botanical Garden, 10901 Old Cutler Rd; Coral Gables. For info: booksandbooks.com ABOVE: PAUL REUBENS IN LIFE DURING WARTIME. MIDDLE: BOB DYLAN. BELOW: AUTHOR MARK BITTMAN
October 5 BOOKS David Holmberg Local author David Holmberg will read from and sign his new book, The Hurricane Murders this Tuesday at Books & Books, Bal Harbour. A reporter in Florida, Jake Arnett, covers the baffling murder of a mother and daughter seeking a new life - a story that requires every ounce of investigative skill, commitment, and compassion he can muster. Arnett works against a backdrop of decline and despair in print journalism that jeopardizes the newspaper he works for, and the life and career of his closest friend. Free. 7:30pm. Books & Books, 9700 Collins Ave; Bal Harbour. For info: booksandbooks.com
October 6 MUSIC Bob Dylan Don’t miss legendary musician Bob Dylan when he comes to town to play the Arena at Taft University in Hollywood. Dylan is releasing two new albums October 19 and is on tour to promote them. The Bootleg Series Volume 9—The Witmark Demos and Dylan’s first eight long-playing albums in a box set titled Bob Dylan—The Original Mono Recordings. Should be an interesting show especially if you are a Dylan fan. Page 16 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
FOR KIDS Sunday, October 3 Pop Goes the Orchestra! A FABULOUS WAY TO INTRODUCE YOUR KIDS TO CLASSICAL MUSIC. THE NEW WORLD SYMPHONY IS HOLDING A SPECIAL CONCERT FOR KIDS. DISCOVER HOW POPULAR MUSIC INFLUENCED SOME OF CLASSICAL MUSIC’S GREATEST HITS, FEATURING ROSSINI’S WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE, COPLAND’S BILLY THE KID AND MUSIC BY HANDEL, BEETHOVEN AND MUCH MORE. ARRIVE EARLY AND MEET THE MUSICIANS AT THE NWS INSTRUMENT PETTING ZOO, WHERE CHILDREN CAN SEE AND PLAY THE INSTRUMENTS. TEDDY ABRAMS IS THE CONDUCTOR. TICKETS ARE $10. 11:30AM 2:30PM AT LINCOLN THEATRE, 541 LINCOLN RD; MIAMI BEACH. FOR INFO: NWS.EDU
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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 17
Art
Cinema REVIEW
Ivy League Blues By Ruben Rosario (ruben@sunpostweekly.com) Mark Zuckerberg is a jerk. Oh, but what a fascinating jerk he is. The creator of Facebook is the subject of David Fincher’s The Social Network, a tightly plotted chronicle of how the Harvard outsider stepped on quite a few toes during his meteoric rise to revolutionize the way we interact online. As with many such ventures, it all happened because of a girl. There’s the future billionaire (a stellar Jesse Eisenberg), making his girlfriend Erica feel like garbage at a local student hangout in the film’s first scene. Fincher stages the exchange between the characters with the fast cutting and rat-tat-tat dialogue of a classic screwball comedy. Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin, who brought The West Wing into our homes before being booted from the show, establishes in just a few minutes Harvard’s hermetic societal structure and Zuckerberg’s high-maintenance nature. The young woman in question, played with commanding aplomb by Rooney Mara, has finally had enough, and as she breaks up with our protagonist, her parting line carries an emasculating sting. Ensconced in his dorm room, Zuckerberg, beer bottle in hand, blogs about being dumped…and then comes up with the perfect retaliation. He hacks into the other dorms’ networks and comes up with Facemash, in which he posts pictures of female students next to each other asking which one is “hotter.” When the site goes viral, it crashes the entire Harvard system. The act is brash, immature…and places the antisocial overachiever on the radar of spoiled, deep-pocketed twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, Ivy League royalty right out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel (Armie Hammer in a seamless dual performance) who have been trying to get Harvard Connection, a social website, off the ground along with fellow classmate Divya Narendra (Art School Confidential’s Max Minghella). Zuckerberg agrees to take Harvard Connection on as a personal project, and then he asks roommate/homeboy Eduardo Saverin (future Spider-Man Andrew Garfield) to collaborate (i.e. put up the cash) on his own website. TheFacebook.com becomes a campus sensation, and triggers a legal maelstrom that involves two lawsuits, one filed by the Winklevoss twins and Narendra, who accused Zuckerberg of stealing their idea…and the other by Saverin. The Social
Network is at its most absorbing when depicting how the friendship between Zuckerberg and Saverin disintegrated. In its depiction of Harvard life, the film plays like The Rules of Attraction as adapted by Michael Clayton director Tony Gilroy. The film’s framing device, the depositions for each lawsuit, gives Sorkin a chance to show off his gift for making scenes of people in a room talking feel exciting. But despite the filmmakers’ economy of storytelling in depicting the cost of pursuing the American dream, we are always kept at arm’s length from the characters. The appearance at the halfway mark of Justin Timberlake, never better, as Napster creator Sean Parker injects some much needed sex appeal into the movie. Parker, who was instrumental is opening some doors for Zuckerberg, was also, Fincher and Sorkin imply, largely responsible for alienating him from Saverin. The staggering act of betrayal that follows leads to a sensational scene in which Saverin confronts his former friend; Eisenberg, Garfield and Timberlake knock it out of the park. For all the film’s virtues, though, The Social Network remains a cerebral, emotionally remote experience. Make no mistake, I think it’s an exceptional film. I just wish I felt more passionate about it. It would have been nice for Fincher to imbue The Social Network with a fraction of the heart that this week’s other release, the winning foodie comedy Soul Kitchen, has in spades. The German production is the latest film from Hamburg-based writer-director Fatih Akin (Head-On, The Edge of Heaven), and it’s a likably scrappy romp that takes a look at the lives of two brothers of Greek descent. Zinos Kazantzakis (Adam Bousdoukos, who also co-wrote the screenplay) runs a ramshackle eatery frequented by a fast food-oriented clientele. At a chic restaurant for a goodbye dinner to his girlfriend Nadine (Pheline Roggan), a tall drink of water who is leaving for Shanghai, he
Page 18 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
SOUL KITCHEN
meets Shayh Weiss (Head-On’s leading man Birol Ünel), a strong-willed chef who has just been fired for refusing to fulfill a customer’s request for hot gazpacho (the philistine!). Zinos wants a change from the same pizza, burger and fries menu, and he hires Shayh, a kindred spirit of the character Tony Shalhoub played in Big Night, to spice things up. Enter Illias, Zinos’s jailbird older brother (Run Lola Run’s Moritz Bleibtreu), who hits up baby bro for a job now that he’s made partial parole. Will Zinos and Shay be a match made in gastronomy heaven? Will Illias charm that stand-offish young waitress? Will Zinos stay on as the owner of Soul Kitchen, or will he join Nadine in China? Akin’s raucous miseen-scène juggles all these storylines, and then some, with rough-around-theedges panache. He goes a little overboard with the slapstick (a running gag involves Zinos’s problems with his lower back…okay, that bit never gets tired), but his generosity of spirit shines above all the pratfalls. He pulls out all the stops to deliver a good time, and by golly, he succeeds. Soul Kitchen screens this weekend only at the Bill Cosford Cinema. For more information go to cosfordcinema.com. The Social Network opens everywhere this weekend. Will it be the toast of Facebook? Let me look at my status updates.
THE SOCIAL NETWORK
A DESK WHERE A ROTATING UPPER SHELF ALLOWS WORKERS TO REMOVE NECESSARY PAPERS WITHOUT LEAVING THEIR SEATS.
Speed Limits at the Wolf By Marguerite Gil (famae.org)
This fascinating exhibition explores the role of speed in modern life. No, not as in race cars or driving on I-95, but in how efficiently we deal with speed on a daily level. “This exhibition reflects on the legacy of the Futurist movement’s celebration of speed, and moves beyond art and literature into the realms of material culture, the built environment, popular entertainment, and everyday life,” explains Marianne Lamonace, The Wolf’s associate director for curatorial affairs and education. “It also brings into focus some of the key issues that affect each of us on a daily basis. Such as the ubiquity of portable communications devices and the proliferation of nutritionally deficient A VIEW OF CARS SPEEDING ALONG A HIGHWAY. food.” Speed Limits presents more than 200 works which features a variety of media, including posters, books, drawings, clocks, paintings, and video installations. The show explores a single Futurist theme from the standpoint of its contemporary legacies and probes the powers and limits of the modern era’s cult of speed in five key domains: circulation and transit; construction and the built environment; efficiency; the measurement and representation of rapid motion; and the mind/body relationship. The exhibition will be on view through February 20, 2011. The Wolfsonian, 1001 Washington Ave. Miami Beach. For info: 305.531.1001 or wolfsonian.org
Music
ROBERT P
INTERVIEW
Yeasayer Takes on Music Critics and Blogs By James Timmins How do Chris Keating and company cope with being called ‘neo-hippies with a penchant for synthesizers and string vests? They say don’t read reviews and if Brooklyn’s Yeasayer had loaded up the cuttings that their second album, Odd Blood, received, the scales would have been creaking. The album is sitting pretty on review aggregator site Metacritic with 78/100, a few points below recent efforts from LCD Soundsystem. Combining 80s pop with ravey synths and falsetto ballads, Odd Blood is undoubtedly one of the records of the year. You’d like it. In the spirit of fairness, we decided to let the band have their say, and review the reviewers who put them in this enviable position. First things first, though: do they read their reviews? “You see the few bad ones, or the really nasty ones, or the really misguided ones and start to cry,” jokes Chris Keating, Yeasayer’s main singer, when I sit them down at London’s K West Hotel. “Music journalists forget that we’re people too,” adds Anand Wilder, former high-school cello geek turned freak-out guitarist and keyboard player. “And they’re mostly full of shit,” deadpans bassist Ira Wolf Tuton, who’s sporting a curly sponge of hair atop a shaved head, and a vest, shirt ‘n’ Doc Martens combo that makes him look, frankly, well hard. Chris and Anand have known each other since they were schoolkids in Baltimore, where they performed in bands and plays together (Hamlet, Little Shop Of Horrors, Chekhov, explains Wilder). Architecture grad Ira’s sister married Anand’s cousin, and the two became friends while studying at Penn together. Yeasayer were born as a trio at Ira’s birthday party in a now-defunct Brooklyn bar in 2005. Then those reviews started coming in.
IS POP WHAT YOU WERE AIMING FOR? Chris: Pop was a word we were throwing around, like “What does it mean to make pop music?” And it [Odd Blood] was our version of that. There’s a difference between being a “pop star” and trying to make an album that has a dialogue with some of the music that pop stars make. I don’t think any of us are cute or clean shaven enough to be pop stars. Anand: Or willing to jump through the hoops. We’ve always struggled with trying to be contemporary and engaging in new technology. The people at the forefront of that a lot of the time are pop stars. Chris: Pop producers are people who are so far
left of centre and doing all this experimental weird noise sound shit, soundscapes and crazy things. We try to keep our ears open.
DID YOU LIKE THE DESCRIPTION OF YOU AS ‘NEO-HIPPIES WITH A PENCHANT FOR SYNTHESIZERS AND STRING VESTS’? Ira: I think that’s because we used to have long hair. Anand: NME was very obsessed with our image because it ran so counter to the kind of [English accent] “English pop 18-year-old Kasabian” thing. Chris: I don’t know what that line means. I have some things in common with hippy ideologies but many things I don’t.
LIKE WHAT? Chris: A distrust of authority and an interest in drug-taking and free love. Well, not fully indulging in those things … but certainly an interest. But I don’t really want to live on a commune. I don’t like astrology. I don’t want to be high all the time; there’s a time to be high. Anand: I like that they say Love You Girl is this “mentalistic microcosm”, cos we did pack so much shit into that one song. It’s a great review. [Reading aloud] “Around 17 songs crammed into one.” That’s great. I love that the review is about getting images into your head; it’s not about imagining a band looking cool, and that’s the idea with Yeasayer.
YOUR SONG, I REMEMBER, SEEMS PREDESTINED TO BE PLAYED AT A ZILLION HIGHSCHOOL SLOW DANCES Anand: Can you imagine writing a song that was going to be the slow dance for a zillion high schools? Chris: We’d be rich. So rich! Anand If we had written [sings loudly] “And I would do anything for love …” That was played at every single prom and bar mitzvah.
WHAT WERE YOUR SLOW DANCES? Ira: In middle school it was Stairway To Heaven. I’d be like, “Why are they playing this song?” Chris: I remember it coming on at a bar mitzvah. I had no idea what it was and Lauren Whaley, a hot older girl, was like, “Let’s all lie on the floor in a pentagram!” I was like, “That is the coolest shit, ever.” Ira: All slow dance songs are just the slow dance
songs from John Hughesmovies. Chris: They talk about it there [points to a line in the review which says “post-John Hughes Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark”]. I don’t think it would necessarily be post-John Hughes OMD. But if you put “post” on anything it makes it sound smarter.
HOW DID THE PENTAGRAM GO DOWN? Chris: It was awesome. And then me and Lauren Whaley were cool, but it turned out she thought I was gay. Which now seems awesome, even in high school that could’ve gotten you in. But in seventh grade I was like, “Nooooo ...” Ira: I got that too that until I started to have growth spurts. Girls going, “I think he’s gay.” I was just, “I haven’t been through puberty yet. And I’m really insecure that I have no pit hair!”
“NINE TRACKS OF NEAR PERFECTION’ BY THE PRETTYMUCHAMAZING MUSIC BLOG” IS IT FLATTERING TO BE PRAISED IN THAT WAY ON A NEW MUSIC BLOG? Chris: Not really. Who is that person? I don’t know. I want to ask, “What else do you like?” It would be one thing if Nick Cave wrote me a letter saying, [Aussie accent] “I really like your album.” Does that go for people who hated it, too? Chris: I’d care more if they hated it. If they do like it, I’m like, “Cool ... You probably like a lot of crap.” Anand: I don’t despise criticism in general. If I really hate a movie I’ll search for someone who agrees with me and put it in a really distinct turn of phrase.
ARE YOU A FAN OF MUSIC BLOGS? Chris: I think what’s going on is that you have these bloggers with no real experience. They’re just trying to get their opinions out, and as a result real journalists dumb down so they can be part of that world too. The integrity and the quality levels fall. Ira: Whole fact-checking departments at magazines are going. So more things fall through the cracks. Chris: That thing in Almost Famous where the factcheckers call the band and the band are like, “No, we didn’t say that,” and they can’t print the article. That would never happen now.
BUT HAVEN’T THE MUSIC BLOGS PLAYED AN IMPORTANT PART IN YOUR CAREER? Ira: It’s given us a career. We’re in that [blog rock] world, but it’s important to be critical of it. Chris: I think the nature of being creative in the public sphere means you need to have thick skin. At the end of the day, I don’t give a shit what people are going to say. I care what these guys [Anand and Ira] say, and that people are coming to see us play, and that we’re progressing. Beyond that, I don’t care. Yeasayer will be performing on Miami Beach this Tuesday, October 5. Tickets are $23. Show starts at 8:30pm. The Fillmore Miami Beach, 1700 Washington Ave; Miami Beach. For info: livenation.com
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 19
Seth Browarnik/WorldRedEye.com
The 411
Jonathan Cheban, Kim Kardashian and Simon Huck at the Dolphins opener
Enrique Eglesias
COLUMN
Home Season Opener By Mary Jo Almeida-Shore maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
LIV OPENS AT SUN LIFE STADIUM For those who love a little nightclub action with their football, or vice versa, we have great news! LIV (the mega-nightclub you’ve come to love/hate at the Fontainebleau), has set up shop at Sun Life Stadium and if Sunday’s Dolphins vs. Jets game is any indication, will offer up the same celeb-infused atmosphere you find regularly at the LIV on South Beach. The 10, 000 square foot space, which accommodates 800 people, was packed to the rafters with South Beach locals and a few New Yorkers, several of whom we suspect went straight from LIV’s Saturday night party to Sunday’s game. And yes, expect to see oodles of models, and scantily-clad girls dancing on the banquets at the mini-LIV, who along with the multiple bars, DJ booth, dance floors and bottle service are welcome distractions for those who aren’t such ardent football fans. Other highlights of the evening included a pre-game concert by, renowned Texas rocker, Alejandro Escovedo and his band, The Sensitive Boys; Fergie and Marc Anthony singing the National Anthem and the half-time show, during which Gloria Estefan introduced Enrique Iglesias, who performed amidst fireworks and cheerleaders. Inaugurating the Sun Life Stadium outpost were celebs: Jennifer Lopez, Tara Reid, Kim Kardashian, Jeffrey Donovan, Dylan McDermott, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James and Chris Bosh. Kardashian, McDermott and the Heat’s Three Kings made their way over to LIV at the Fontainebleau for post-game festivities.
BIRTHDAY BASHES FIRE AND ICE On Saturday night, Russian socialite, Malinka Max, hosted a Fire and Ice Birthday Gala for Michael Valdes, Senior Vice President of ONE Sotheby’s International Realty, at Villa Nirvana, the gorgeous home of Todd Brown and Rob Davis, of Brown Davis, on Biscayne Bay. Villa Nirvana, which was basked in red light, provided the perfect setting for the festivities, which spanned three levels, and included acrobatic performances from the third floor outdoor landing. The A-list crowd was dressed to the nines- in red and white ensembles for the occasion, which in our opinion was much more fire than ice. Valdes shared the following about the celebration, “I loved having so many of my dear friends together to help me celebrate my birthday. From the generosity of Rob Brown for lending his gorgeous home and resources to create such a magnificent canvas for the evening, to Malinka Max co-hosting and creating such a
Page 20 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
The glorious Fergie
Emelio and Gloria Estefan
wonderful “Fire & Ice” themed event that everyone enjoyed. All the guests brought the fire with designer red and white outfits as far as they eye could see and I think the ice came from Sarah Arison’s engagement ring designed by Prince Dimitri. It was truly a fun evening!” Friends who gathered to sing “Happy Birthday” to Valdes, and enjoy five different red and white birthday cakes, included: Andrew Steinberg, Dan Davidson, David Bernard, Eric Masella and Sarah Arison, Dr. Julio Gallo, Dr. Julio Hernandez, Dan and Merle Weiss, Commissioner Michael Gongora, Tony Japour, Alvaro Cuadrado and Iran Issa Khan. Welcome to the Hotel Lancaster A couple of weeks ago, Score nightclub on Lincoln Road was transformed into the Hotel Lancaster, in honor of Elaine Lancaster’s birthday. Alongside singing and instrumental performances and acrobatic stunts (seems to be a running theme these days) Commissioner Michael Gongora presented Lancaster with a Key to the City and Proclamation from Mayor Matti Herrera Bower, declaring August 27, Elaine Lancaster Day. Lancaster muses, “Keys to the City are easy and rarely open anything but an official PROCLAMATION stating the recipient having their very own day is NOT easy to obtain. The office of the Mayor has a special formula which is used to see if the person in question is entitled to have the City Proclaim an Official Day in their honor. Well Elaine Lancaster not only met, she exceeded these requirements.” Too bad she’s so modest, eh? For the party, Aaron Powell transformed the entire club into an Art Deco Seaside Hotel, Ho’tel Lancaster to be exact, with musical styling by Bill Hallquist. The second floor stage located over the main dance floor was outfitted as hotel suite, complete with a king size bed, reading table with a table lamp and bottle of Chambord Vodka- Lancaster’s favorite. There were over 2,000 roses arranged into over 25 individual hotel-worthy arrangements created by Diva Rose (DivaRose.com). Well-wishers came from as Rome, Italy. Lancaster has raised over 20 million dollars for various charities since 1997 and is the face for White Party Week. White Party is gearing up for year 26, the final year at Villa Vizcaya.
A FUNKSHION PREVIEW Miami definitely had a presence during NYC fashion week this season. South Beach-based fashion show producers and owners of Funkshion: Fashion Week Miami,(which is scheduled for the week of October 20) Sale Stojanovic and Matt Heien, collaborated to produce and publicize over 13 runway shows in the Big Apple. From PetitePARADE, the first ever Kids Fashion Week in the USA (kidsfashionweek.com), to Style 360 and the Elle magazine show, to Rajvi Mohan, one of the few men’s shows this season. The New Delhi designer made quite the splash with her new Men’s Spring Summer 2011 collection presented by New Era. As you may have guessed, (and can see in the photos) it was hard to concentrate on the show or clothes, with all of the gorgeous male models on the runway. Prior to the New York Fashion Week fun, during Fashion’s Night Out, De Beers at Bal Harbour Shops hosted an event with philanthropists, Jill Viner and Allison Weiss Brady to benefit Gene Spotlight, which provides medical research grants for rare genetic disorders for. Guests included Jill’s husband Cliff Viner, who is owner of the NHL Florida Panthers, Sarah Arison, George A. Weiss, Chip Brady of LSN Partners, D. Ashlee Harrison, Aaron Glickman, Tiffany Zientz Heckler, Iran Issa-Khan and Josh Fein to name a few. De Beers store director Eric Villafane treated guests to an exclusive preview of the De Beers Talisman Collection. At the FNO
Eric Masella, Sarah Arison and Michael Valdes party at Casa Nirvana
Merle Weiss and Cubby at Elaine Lancaster's birthday party
Michael Valdes and Commissioner Michael Gongora at Casa Nirvana
Barbara and Michael Stahl with birthday diva Elaine Lancaster
Michael Valdes and Malinka Max at Casa Nirvana
event, De Beers auctioned off a Sun Medal Pendant from the Talisman collection valued at $7,450. Over $13,500 was raised at the event for Gene Spotlight, whose charity “Celebrity Ambassadors” include 1996 Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Kerri Strug, NBA star Etan Thomas, and MLB star Mark DeRosa of the SF Giants.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: On Friday, LeBron James casually dined with a group of eight friends and family at STK Miami Beach. Over at The Forge Restaurant | Wine Bar award-winning Latin artist Luis Miguel enjoyed a friend’s birthday dinner in the newly decorated private Wine Cellar. The party of six complimented Shareef Malnik on the renovations and wished him a successful upcoming season in Miami Beach. Miguel was also overheard speaking about his upcoming tour and latest album release. Luis Miguel was also spotted over the weekend leaving Prime 112 with former girlfriend Daisy Fuentes. On Saturday, Tara Reid was seen at the Rooftop at Gansevoort Miami Beach. According to our source, the subdued starlet kept to herself amongst the chaos of the VIP area. Ruff Ryder’s first lady and musical icon, Eve, performed live at Cameo that same evening. The crowd toasted the performer as she sang her hits Tambourine, Who’s That Girl, and Let Me Blow Your Mind. Local VIPS such as Chris Jones and Opium Group’s Roman Jones were amongst the crowd enjoying the live concert . Multiple bottles of Veuve Cliquot were sent out to the crowd in her honor. Eve then headed over to the Ice Palace where Hennessy Artistry 2010 hosted a concert with co-curators The Roots and Q-Tip lining up a series of acts. Special guests Daniel Merriweather, Kat DeLuna, DJ Irie and DJ D-Nice joined The Roots and Q-Tip onstage for a blend of eclectic, unforgettable musical performances. And just when attendees thought the night was winding down, Eve took the stage along with Bobby Brown as part of this elite five-city hip-hop history tour. Other sightings around town: Dolphins football great, Dan Marino dined with friends at Stephen Starr’s STEAK 954 at W Fort Lauderdale. Orlando Magic basketball player JJ Redick enjoyed a relaxing afternoon at Rocco’s Tacos & Tequila Bar in West Palm Beach.
Kat Deluna & 1- Tip at the Hennessy Artistry event
Eve performing at the at the Hennessy Artistry event
Cliff and Jill Viner- store director Eric Villafane and Allison Brady at the Gene Spotlight fundraiser at De Beers for FNO
Inca Clothing at Kids Fashion Week
Chip and Allison Brady at the Gene Spotlight fundraiser at De Beers for FNO
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 21
GO! UPCOMING SOCIAL EVENTS
Indulge Yourself By Mary jo Almeida-Shore and Maryanne Salvat maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
CREATIVE CHILDREN THERAPY CIFO AND DAVID “LEBO” LEBATARD On Thursday, September 30th from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m., CCT will host their 4th annual exhibition “Inspired by the Beat” at the Cisneros Fontanals Art Foundation (CIFO) in Miami. All event proceeds will go to funding the organization’s art programs, which focus on helping children with special needs in the Miami community. This year’s event will feature local artist David ‘LEBO’ Le Batard alongside 23 artists from CCT’s Artistic Realization Technologies program. Four collaborative works between the Artists of CCT and LEBO will be auctioned off at the event, which will also feature the debut of “LEBO Live” - A multimedia experience including: live painting, video mixing, and music. LEBO’s new coffee table book, Inspired by the Beat will be available for viewing and purchase at the event. CCT is dedicated to improving the quality of life of children with special needs through “superior therapeutic intervention.” In addition to providing medical services, the main goal is to provide creative programs that help these kids develop socially and artistically. For more information and to purchase tickets go to cct-art.eventbrite.com.
COREY MICHAELS PREMIERES HIS “ROCKSTAR” VIDEO Miami-based recording artist Corey Michaels will premiere the music video for his infectious first single “Rockstar” from his debut album, Who Killed the King?, with an exclusive performance at TWIST on Friday, October 1st at 11 p.m. The music video will premiere in the Frolic Video Lounge at 1:00 a.m., followed by a performance by Michaels. After the performance, Michaels will be gifting t-shirts and copies of his album to his fans during a meet and greet/signing period. Who Killed the King? is available now at the iTunes Store (tinyurl.com/CoreyMichaels).
HOLLYWOOD ACROSS AMERICA Professionals behind artists such as Miley Cyrus, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning and hit movies like Harry Potter, Transformers, The Da Vinci Code and High School Musical are looking for their next star. Hollywood Across America, a hands-on workshop and showcase led by entertainment industry veterans, is coming to South Florida on Saturday, October 2nd and Sunday October 3rd . Local actors, models and other aspiring talent interested in learning from some of Hollywood’s top industry professionals will enjoy a weekend full of seminars, coaching and performances at Miami Beach’s Sea View Hotel. The two day event will be held at the Sea View Hotel, 9909 Collins Avenue, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day. Tickets cost $445 (payment plans are available). Talent ages: 6 and up. For more information go to www.hollywoodacrossamerica.com or call producer Sherry Faith at 305-899-2288 and/or 561-239-5445.
SHOE SHOPPING AT DULCE On Thursday, October 7, from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m., reality show vixen Evelyn Lozada will host a private cocktail celebrating friend and renowned Italian shoe designer Francesco Sacco. Held at Lozada’s trendy shoe boutique Dulce, located on Miracle Mile, the intimate event will offer an exclusive preview of the designer’s new collection. Esteemed guests, including guest of honor Francesco Sacco, will enjoy complimentary champagne and cupcakes provided by Stella’s Sweet Shoppe. Shoppers will also have the opportunity to have their new Francesco Sacco stems signed by the designer, for a truly enviable pair of soles. For more information call 305-864-3434 extension 122.
SIP AND SPA AT THE PALMS HOTEL Sip & Spa at The Palms Hotel is back! The popular weekly happy hour at Essensia Lounge returns on Thursday Oct. 7th with great drink and food specials which include half-off all appetizers and cocktails from 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. plus complimentary Chandon Rose Brut between 6:00 and 7:00 p.m. In addition, The Palms AVEDA Spa is offering half-off all spa services from 4:00 to 9:00 p.m. Throughout the month of October, The Palms Spa joins AVEDA’s efforts in raising funds for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to funding clinical and genetic research on breast cancer at medical institutions across the globe. The Aveda Pink Ribbon Hand Relief™ will be available for purchase with a portion of the proceeds benefiting the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. The Palms Spa is also donating 10% of their pink nail polish sales to BCRF. Sip & Spa takes place every Thursday night from 6:00 to10:00 p.m. at Essensia Lounge and from 4:00 to 9:00 p.m. at The Palms Spa. Valet parking costs $9 for Sip & Spa guests and is complimentary if combined with dinner at Essensia Restaurant. For more information visit thepalmshotel.com or call 305.908.5458. The Palms Hotel & Spa is located on 3025 Collins Avenue.
Page 22 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 23
Style FASHION
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week: Beyond the Tents Nolcha Fashion Week By Jennifer Fragoso (jennifer@sunpostweekly.com)
L
incoln Center was the focal point of fashion in the United States from September 9-16. Set up with all of the comforts of home if home was in fact heaven. There were Starbucks Frappuccinos for drinking, Pop Chips for snacking, and an AOL Media Lounge complete with Internet access and a video booth for people to document their experiences under the tents. With all the aforementioned trappings it is hard to imagine anyone being lured off campus to see other shows and yet there were two such events that flummoxed the almost gravitational pull of Lincoln Center during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. Nolcha Fashion Week and Rolando Santana got this girl hailing cabs and hitting the city streets to find new fashion beats.
Nolcha Fashion Week fuses runway shows, accessory exhibitions with ethical fashion previews for an independent fashion fete that shouldn’t be missed. The SunPost was given the opportunity to talk to Nolcha CEO Kerry Bannigan about their spin on Fashion Week. The SunPost: Where did the idea of Nolcha come from? Kerry Bannigan: My business partner, Arthur Mandel, and I realized that there was a need by independent fashion designers for business support. After many networking events and meetings we created Nolcha to be the go to resource for emerging fashion brands. How long did it take to before Nolcha was up and running? We spent about one year doing research, networking and aligning ourselves with relevant partners and organizations. What is the driving force of Nolcha’s Fasion Week? Once Nolcha launched the first phase of the company, which was an online network, we sent surveys and questionnaires to our industry members. The research showed that independent fashion designers needed a cost effective reputable platform to showcase their collection to media, stylist and retailers. Most importantly designers needed a place that allowed them to do what they do best, which is being designers and developing collections, without having to plan the event, worry about the guest list and ensure industry attendance. What is the ultimate goal of Nolcha Fashion Week? Nolcha Fashion Week, New York and London, aims to continually provide a leading resource for retailers, stylists, media and industry influencers to connect with independent fashion brands. We unveil highly talented emerging fashion brands, scouted between each season from around the globe, and offer the opportunity for fashion businesses to meet this talent. How does Nolcha Fashion Week quantify success? We are now in our ninth season and with each season we see growth. And it is this growth that allows us to provide extended success to our clients both designers and sponsors. We have several points to manage our success from how the industry receives the design talent to the industry figures that attend and the press that cover the event. We have achieved great success for our clients including sales into desired retailers, connection to investors for retail space as well as press coverage in Lucky Magazine, Forbes, Smart Money TV, Wall Street Journal and more. Where do you see Nolcha in five years? Nolcha will continue to grow to become the leading resource for the independent fashion industry. Specifically growing our programs for designers and retailers. We will expand our events globally and have an interest in the European market. As well as online services, which is an important focus with the ever-changing needs of the industry. Log on to nolcha.com to find out more about the company and their services. Or to nolchafashionweek.com to see what went on in the Financial District during Nolcha’s Fashion Week. - Photography: Hanan Exposures.
Page 24 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
R
olando Santana released a statement to the press on August 9, 2010 that he would be launching his Spring 2011 women’s collection on September 16, 2010 at Griffin in the Meat Packing District. Having received an invitation, a seat assignment and brimming with curiosity off I went to the cobblestone streets of the Meat Packing in five-inch double platform Casadei Mary Jane’s. With a thunderstorm immanent the flock was escorted to their seats and in no time the show began. The Rolando Santana Spring
2011 collection was a tribute to texture. Utilizing silks, jacquards and cotton in a soothing neutral palette the collection was filled with versatile dresses and separates. The piece de la resistance of the show was the finale dress, a white mini, which encapsulated the collection with its textural detailing and ethereal simplicity. Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week was so much fun all there is left to say is February here I come.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • Page 25
Sex COLUMN
Coital Conversation By Dr. Sonjia Kenya
Sonjia@drsonjia.com
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT’S SAFE TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE? Not just in terms of physical safety, because with sex, emotions are also involved, albeit unconsciously in many. So let’s assume you’ve met someone you like and are pretty sure they’re not going to rape, rob, or poison you. We all know it’s rare to meet someone so qualified, so let’s also assume you’re immediately enamored with a crazy crush, and plotting out possibilities in your head because it’s too early to speak such dreams out loud. Before you dive in deep, how do you figure out whether this person is emotionally and physically in sync with what you’re looking for? One of my girlfriends recently found out on a first date. She asked about his relationship history and he said, “I probably would’ve worked on my relationships more if I didn’t live in Miami. With so many beautiful women here, so it’s easier to move on quickly instead of working things out. If I lived somewhere else, I think my relationships would’ve have lasted longer. “ This level of honesty is unusual, but extremely valuable, in determining whether to woo this man into a relationship. Will he be there when the going gets tough? Don’t hold your breath. All is fair in love and war, but every victim of a broken heart knows a crime of passion feels like an actual crime has been committed. No one enjoys being on the receiving end of either, and it would be worthwhile to know the chances of survival ahead of time. Predicting the future of relationships is impossible (as evidenced by your past love affairs), but the same tactics used to investigate crimes are also pretty effective for investigating others who have caught your attention. Ignorance is supposedly bliss, but investigating options before intercourse increases opportunities for lasting love. You’ve got to wade through the weeds to focus on the flourishing flowers and need a quick way to get the gardening done. The drill is simple and you already know it: Who, What, When, Where, Why, and most importantly, How? If your lust has any chance of growing into love, the first thing you must remember is not to act like a detective when asking the object of your affection for this information. The second thing to remember is to ask the series of questions twice, once for physical health and once for emotional insight. I think it’s best to start the inquiry
as soon as you realize someone is kind of cute and may want to do them in the near or distant future. Life is short. Why waste time getting to know someone who you eventually find out is completely the opposite of what you really want? I’ve been kind of aloof about how to go about the actual interview, so allow me to provide some specific examples to clarify my strategy. The first set of questions revolves around recent medical history. Q: Who’s your doctor? A: Dr. Rockball Q: What did he say last during your last visit? A: My recovery is going fine and I look good as new. Q: When did you go? A: About a year ago. Q: Where does he practice? A: Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. That’s where all the experts are. Q: Why did you go? A: Vaginal Rejuvenation. Q: How did you feel after? A: I felt great, like a virgin, as if I didn’t give birth to any of my kids. Within minutes, you know that this person is a mother who will go to another country to have cosmetic surgery conducted on her crotch. She did not discuss seeing any local doctors within the last year which tells you she may not visit an obgyn or primary care provider regularly and therefore is not being screened for STDs or other common health issues. If one’s mind were impure, they might also interpret her responses to indicate expectations for erogenous action and just a weebit of vaginal vanity. Next case scenario: Q: Who’s your doctor? A: Umm, I forget his name. Q: What did he say last during your last visit? A: My cholesterol is high, I need to exercise, slow down on the drinking, and always use condoms. Q: When did you go? A: About 3 years ago. Q: Where does he practice? A: Somewhere in South Miami Q: Why did you go? A: I had a bumpy rash in my groin area that
Page 26 • Thursday, September 30, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
itched like crazy. Q: How did you feel after? A: I was still in a bit of pain because he had to sort of freeze and burn the rash off but it did go away and didn’t even leave scars. It hasn’t come back yet either. TMI. Very quickly, you’ve figured out this person doesn’t lead an active lifestyle, likes to party, and may have extensive experience in unprotected intercourse and unedited dialogue. No one wants a liar, so let’s be grateful he’s honest, but if he had a problem a few years ago that might come back, shouldn’t he also have a regular physician? One in six American adults between 14 and 49 years old has herpes and regular visits to a health provider can minimize outbreaks and risk of spreading the disease to others. Before even dating this guy, you know he probably had a bout of genital warts or herpes and doesn’t see an MD regularly which means he isn’t on medication, and isn’t being screened for other STDs or anything else. He’s just another healthy dude at the bar and a couple of minutes allowed you to get important information to help decide whether or not to accept the drink he will offer to buy. Now let’s replace “doctor” with “sex” to assess a person’s emotional availability. Q: Who’s the last person you had sex with? A: Umm, I forget his name. I think it was Michael. Q: What did it feel like? A: It was OK. It was kind of awkward and he was pretty quick about it. Q: When did it happen? A: About 3 weeks ago. Q: Where did it happen? A: In the backseat of his car. Q: Why did you do it? A: Because I was feeling lonely. My boyfriend was breaking up with me and I wanted to make him jealous. This guy paid attention when I was drowning my sorrows at a bar. He was really nice before we got drunk. Q: How did you feel after? A: I felt like it wasn’t worth it. After it was over, I started to get out of the car and he didn’t try to stop me. He didn’t even offer to give me a ride home. We didn’t exchange numbers. My ex was gone when I got home. What can I say about this person’s emotional state that isn’t obvious by her answers? Let’s get to our last scenario: Q: Who’s the last person you had sex with? A: My ex-wife Q: What did it feel like? A: It was awesome. We always had great sex. It was the best thing about our relationship. Q: When did it happen? A: Almost a year ago. Q: Where did it happen? A: In our house. I mean it’s my house now but
710 Liq
Beer, Win we bought it together and she shared it with me for so many years. Q: Why did you do it? A: Because I thought it would save our relationship. It’s not just that, I loved her and always wanted to have sex with her. But we weren’t getting along and I knew she was close to leaving. I made love to her to try to connect with her on a level we couldn’t achieve outside the bedroom. Q: How did you feel after? A: I felt like heaven. I thought she was going to stay. She’s left before but come back. I really felt connected to her and thought we would work it out. But she left a few days later. She hasn’t come back yet. Five minutes after meeting him, you know this man is still in love with his ex-wife. He hasn’t let her go yet and no one is going to measure up to the woman who already has his heart. Maybe in a few months he’ll be ready to move on, maybe never. Asking these questions will not tell you everything, as time spent together is the ultimate informant. Finances, hygiene, personality, and a host of other issues influence compatibility. If things work out, you will eventually know all of this information and some of what you learn may cause things to fall apart. This quick and easy exercise will give you important information early in the game to help determine whether you want to get to know a person on a more intimate level. A simple system to identify energy aligned with your expectations as well as highlight red flags before sharing your body or investing your heart. Some say, “getting to know someone is the fun part.” Part of me agrees but I also think everyone needs a baseline to begin with and it’s insane not to learn from past mistakes. Insanity involves doing something over and over again while expecting different results. Remember when your last relationship got so bad, you screamed, “I wish I never met you!” Stop the insanity. Investigate before you mate.
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