The Story Matters
Calendar p.14 Bang Bang! Catch the new exhibition of renowned graffiti artist Typoe at the Spinello Gallery.
Vol. XXV No. 35
September 16, 2010
Visit us at sunpostweekly.com
SAVE THE GUSMAN Can Miami’s Original Flagship Theatre Stay Afloat? MAYHEM P.4
PROFILE P. 6
POLITICS P. 8
CALENDAR P.14
FILM P. 18
411 P.20
GO! P. 22
BOUND P. 23
SEE PAGE 10
FASHION P.23
SEX P. 26
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com SOCIETY EDITOR Jeannette Stark jeannette@sunpostweekly.com COPY EDITOR Mary Louise English
PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stuart Davidson stuart@sunpostweekly.com ACCOUNTING Sandie Friedman
CALENDAR EDITOR Jake Orsinni calendar@sunpostweekly.com
SALES DIRECTORS Jeannette Stark Manny Duran
ADAMS VETERINARY CLINIC Full Service Clinic: Surgery • Boarding • Medical • Dental X-rays • Ultrasound • Diagnostics Small Mammals, Dogs, Cats, & Exotics
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jeffrey Bradley Charles Branham-Bailey Stuart Davidson Marguerite Gil Jennifer Fragoso John Hood Dr. Sonjia Kenya Joshua Malina Ruben Rosario Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Michael Sasser Kim Steiner
Gustavo Abdelnour FOUNDER Jeannette Stark PUBLISHER EMERITUS Felix Stark (1929-1995) WEB SITE sunpostweekly.com PRODUCTION Blue Studio
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Stuart Davidson Jennifer Fragoso Marguerite Gil Ines Hegedus-Garcia Jipsy Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Mitchell Zachs
MAILING ADDRESS P.O. Box 191870 Miami Beach, FL 33119 MAIN LINE 305.538.9797 MAIN FAX 305.538.9774
FOR ADVERTISING & RATE INFO: Please call 305.482.1785 or email kim@sunpostweekly.com SUBSCRIPTIONS First class mailing subscriptions are available at $150 per year. Call 305.538.9797. Copyright: The entire contents of SunPost are copyright 2010 by SunPost Media Inc. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means including electronic media without the express written consent of the publisher.
ADAMS VETERINARY CLINIC: 672 NE 79 ST, MIAMI • 305.757.7309 Page 2 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Covering Miami Beach, North Bay Village, Surfside, Bay Harbor Islands, Bal Harbour, Sunny Isles Beach, North Miami, North Miami Beach and Aventura, Coconut Grove, Brickell Avenue, Downtown, Design District, Wynwood, Upper Eastside, and Miami Shores.
Pantoni Chair $265
KMP FURNITURE SHOWROOM: 6444 Biscayne Blvd., Miami • 305-438-1797 kmpfurniture.com
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 3
Tropical Mayhem BITS AND PIECES OF MIAMI LIFE
Miami through my iphone
Sexy Spikes New for Fall are these super sexy, platform ankle boots from the uber fabulous designer, Christian Louboutin. Adding just the right amount of drama to these black leather booties are the silver spikes that run the length of the rim. Called the Miss Fast 120 Ankle Boots, these would look stunning with the leather pleated mini that was shown on the runway for Fall by DKNY. The booties have a whopping 4.25” heel and are Italian made. Signature Louboutin red leather soles. $1,095.00. Exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue. Bal Harbour Shops or Saks.com.
VINTAGE TREASURES by Ines Hegedus-Garcia - miamism.com - ines@miamism.com I get to see the coolest stuff in some of our listings - funny to think that sometimes I like when other agents are late because it gives me an opportunity to interpret homes with a completely different light. This is an antique radio in a house on Alton Road in Miami Beach - it represents the perfect mix between modern comfort and vintage which is exactly what the house offers. Talk about a nice twist on real estate.
GREEN HAPPY HOUR WITH ECOMB Celebrate the last event of the summer with 305Green.com and ECOMB, the Environmental Coalition of Miami & the Beaches, when they join forces to throw Miami's first ever Green Happy Hour. The fun begins this Friday night, September 17 from 6 to 10pm. at the Area 31 Rooftop Restaurant in the Epic Hotel. The Epic is a green hotel. Head over to the Epic for your very own free organic cocktail and tons of fun. Valet will be offered at a reduced price with validation from the restaurant. For the event, the happy hour menu has been extended from 6pm to 10pm. 270 Biscayne Boulevard Way, Miami. For more info: 305Green.com or ecomb.org.
MIAMI, SPEAK YOUR MIND! We welcome submissions to Tropical Mayhem. To get your business or item considered for publication, email a hi-res photograph (300dpi) and a description to kim@miamisunpost.com. Page 4 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
TRUSTED
$3.00 OFF HAND CAR WASH Not combined with other offer
$15.00 OFF HAND CAR WAX Not combined with other offer
$15.00 OFF A FULL CAR WINDOW TINTING Not combined with other offer
$25.00 OFF FULL DETAIL Not combined with other offer
MVR #25108466
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 5
PHOTO: MAGICALPHOTOS.COM / MITCHELL ZACHS
PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY YOU SHOULD KNOW
Amanda Tae Dance Maven Compiled By Kim Steiner Who are you? My name is Amanda Tae and I’m the director of Focal Point Dance Studios and president of Tae Talent Agency. What do you do in real life? I run a dance studio and dance company, as well as actively teach and choreograph locally and nationally. In addition I work as a talent agent, filtering dancers, actors, and models into the local and national dance, movie, and music related industry. How long have you been in Miami? Pretty much my entire life. I was born in Fairfax, Virginia, but moved here with my family when I was 1. How long have you been dancing? Since I was three, so for twenty seven years. Yes... I am thirty years old! What dream have you had that you have accomplished? I honestly have lofty dreams, so I wouldn’t say I’ve accomplished them as of yet...but I’m on my way.
What do you like most about what you do? That it never gets old! There’s always something new to do or someone new to work with. I also love that because the dance world is so small, you end up running into people you worked with last month or 10 years ago. Also, it doesn’t feel like work (for the most part), so I’m making a living doing something I love. Not a bad deal. What do you do now, that you did not do 5 years ago? Own a dance studio and talent agency. 5 years ago I was on tour dancing with various artists and a couple years before that, I was on track to becoming an entertainment lawyer. Something new that you have just discovered about yourself? I have nothing deep to share, being that I’ve known who and how I am for a minute (a while). However, my tastebuds have developed a new liking to Tuna and Cod, which if you knew me last year, I would not touch fish - raw or cooked. Definitely not a good Asian lol!
Page 6 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
One luxury that you cannot live without? My crackberry! It’s glued to my hand at all times. I’ve lost my phone for a day and found myself typing on my ipod (it’s not touchscreen) to fill the void. Favorite Restaurant? I have no one favorite, but I love Prime 112, Akashi, and Green Street. You can never go wrong with Chilis or Cheesecake Factory though! Three Words to describe you? Driven, Inspired, and Nonstop. So what does the future hold for you? I would love to know, but if I have any say in it, I would love to make a difference in Miami’s dance and talent industry, if not the world’s!
EXPERT ALTERATIONS PARKING IN THE REAR
9835 NE 2nd Avenue, Miami Shores 305.757.8386 Mon-Fri: 8am - 6pm • Sat: 8am - 4pm
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 7
PICK UP YOUR COPY OF THE SUNPOST AT THESE LOCATIONS:
MIAMI BEACH Miami Beach City Hall Miss Yip Davids Cafe Books & Books Score Panfiore SB Finest Carwash Uncle Sam’s Music Manolo Normandy Gym Majestic Properties Georges Picnic Restaurant Magnum Lounge Adams Veterinary Clinic Bistro 555
MIAMI Andiamo Balans Magnum Bagels & Co Ascot Outoor Furniture A&A Village Treasures Mooies Ice Cream Parlor Design District Post Office Miami Shores Library Miami Shores City Hall North Miami Post Office Stembridge Furniture Majestic Properties Lorenzo’s Daily Creative Food Company IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CARRY THE SUNPOST IN YOUR BUSINESS PLEASE EMAIL kim@miamisunpost.com
Can He Say That? COLUMN
Glenn Beck, You Dreck By Charles Branham-Bailey From his vantage point high above one end of the National Mall, the Great Abe has a majestic view of some of our capital city’s most prestigious prime real estate. And, too, of some significant historic events. Here, 47 Augusts ago, he looked out over thousands gathered at his memorial’s steps to hear Martin Luther King, Jr., say, “I have a dream.” This August, a few weekends ago, our venerable 16th president sat through another gathering at his front porch, this one called forth by reich-wing broadcaster Glenn Beck to as much as tell ‘em, “I have a scheme.” More like a nightmare, to some. Abe was probably sitting there thinking, “I really wish I could get up and go take a powder,” but – damn marble! – he was glued to his seat. And so, had to endure all the hot air emanating from the hotheads on that hot, end-of-summer day. Poor Abe. Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally – “Beckapalooza” and “tent-less revival,” as it was variously labeled – had all the flavor and smell of a Billy Graham crusade intersecting with a political rally. “You’re going to see the spirit of God unleashed, unlike you have ever seen it before,” Saint Glenn the Grandiose predicted before the rally. “At least at a public function.” I wonder if God got the memo beforehand that he was to unleash his spirit at the great Beck confab. Perhaps God had decided in advance to take a vacation. Or the weekend off. Washington is pretty stuffy and muggy this time of year. Maybe God doesn’t like to be in D.C. in August. Perhaps he opted to hit the beach instead. Wrote CNN political analyst Roland Martin: “Now that we are a week removed from the march on Washington organized by the self-proclaimed rodeo clown, Glenn Beck, it’s clear that the event was nothing more than an exercise in ego worship.” Ohhh. So that’s who was really being worshipped. (“All hail the exalted messiah of our modern-day era, the self-anointed savior of the Republic, the Great Beck!) Martin added (the parenthetical inserts are his): “It’s still unclear if the event was about the troops, restoring the honor of America (whatever that is defined as), an effort to reclaim the civil rights movement (I’m still laughing at that one), or a tent revival intended to move Americans closer to God.” “Beck has built a movement framed by two ideas that are unassailable, God and country,” wrote syndi-
Page 8 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
cated columnist Kathleen Parker. “Throw in some Mom and apple pie, and you’ve got a picnic of patriotism and worship.” No thanks, I’ll take my apple pie with whipped cream, hold the holy sanctimony. Beck brashly proclaimed to his followers that Saturday like a Moses on a mount: “America today begins to turn back to God. For too long, this country has wandered in darkness.” Oh, really? In what clause of our Constitution does such a “nation of God” mission statement appear? And were it so, exactly whose God? Which denomination’s? Which sect’s? In a week following one grandstanding Florida pastor chomping at the bit to hold a nationally-televised bonfire (“Hold the marshmallows and weenies, we’re having a Koran roast!”), it’s time to take stock, folks, of all the hullabaloo that has been soaking up our airwaves and splattering across our online news sites and blogs of late: Intense emotions over a planned mosque at Ground Zero. Intense emotions over a planned Koran burning. Intense emotions at an outdoor rally in D.C. intended to return America to God. Lately, it’s been like a three-ring circus for the holy rollers. “Over here in this ring, we have the pyromaniacal wonder of Gainesville, who will burn this stack of Korans without missing a publicity shot or interview. Over here in this ring, we have a vociferous pack of Christians and Jews who will see how loud they can – if possible – shout down the construction of a Muslim mosque at Ground Zero. “And over here in the center ring, we have the Great Glennini, who will attempt to corral a nation of incorrigible heathens and deliver them obediently back into God’s cage.” On the matter involving that other hotly-debated sideshow, the proposed mosque at Ground Zero, I side with those against the mosque, but for an entirely different – and likely, unique – reason: I don’t want any religious-oriented edifice going up on the site. Whaddya thinka that? No mosque, no church, no synagogue, no temple, no shrine. Nothing religious-oriented. Isn’t it enough that one of the chief contributing cancers that spawned the idea, the conspiracy, the plot, the plan to blow up the Twin Towers and rain down so much hate and hostility upon an often-self-described Judea-Christian society which those Muslim terrorists perceived as an enemy – was religion? Or, more specifically, one group of people’s intolerance for another’s religion,
and vice versa? If you’re going to build anything there at all, let it be a school. Yes! A brilliant idea. A school. One for the young, to inculcate them to steer clear of the hotheaded, destructive intolerance of religion. Do we really need one more religious building anywhere, not just at Ground Zero? What we need are more schools, more institutes, more universities. More buildings dedicated to fostering understanding, respect, and mutual tolerance of people whose cultures differ from ours, and ours from theirs. How about that for a change? Less of what separates and divides us (religion) and more of what instills knowledge, sparks enlightenment, and promotes peace (education). The “our god is better than your god” and “our Bible is better than your Torah is better than your Koran is better than any holy book of yours” crowd has provided quite a bit of interesting diversions these last few dog days of summer. So now let’s hope the circus has left town for good. But does it really ever leave for good? Not on your life. Not as long as spotlight-hugging ringmasters like Glenn Beck are around and in our faces, sure to return to give us yet more horse-and-monkey shows to rival anything Barnum & Bailey’s got.
WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED (ALL EXCEPT CARLOS) Miami Herald. Aug. 22 issue. Page 2B. Upper right-hand corner. Examine the photo, shall we?, accompanying a story on the grand opening of MiamiDade Fire Rescue’s newest training center in Doral. In the photo, a flag-bearing honor guard faces an audience of dignitaries and the general public gathered for the ceremony. All are on their feet, singing the national anthem. There, in the front row are local officials, including a few county commissioners: Natacha Seijas, Pepe Diaz,... Why, there – in the middle of the front row – is County Mayor Carlos Alvarez. Look closely. Can you spot the incongruity? Everyone but hizzoner has his or her hand across their heart as they’re singing their loyalty to the flag, which, as every school boy and girl is taught, is the proper decorum for such an occasion. But Carlos the Arrogant (a police officer by training, and a former chief, so what’s his excuse?) just stands there, hands clasped together in front of him, the American flag not more than five feet directly before him. Hmmm. Intriguing. If that were Obama, the press would be all over him, Limbaugh, Beck & Co. would be decrying him as a godless commie, and the Tea Party crazies would be sniping, “WELL WHAT D’YA EXPECT OF SOMEONE WHO ISN’T A GEN-YOU-WINE AMERICAN-BORN CITIZEN, AND IS A PINKO-SOCIALIST AND CLOSET MUSLIM TO BOOT?!” What’s your excuse, Mayor?
COLUMN
parcel so preposterously. At least the City, usually the Biggest Loser in any kind of deal, ended up buying land, and not—like in the recent Scott Robbins Parking Garage fiasco—air. <Sigh> Things are seldom what they seem; skim milk masquerades as cream.
Bridge To Nowhere
PASS THE 72 VIRGINS PLEASE
Politics Krispy Korans, Too By Jeffrey Bradley
Where’s Sarah Palin when we need her? Perhaps she’s trying to figure out the City’s latest “transportation project” that makes about as much sense as the square root of zero + nil x nothing… the West Avenue/Collins Canal Bridge, we mean. Of all possible hare-brain “transportation” schemes by a city that considers taxis rapid transit, this one takes the cake. It does nothing to address the confusing welter of streets that converge on that humpy little bridge across Collins canal, but shoehorns another layer of mayhem roadway atop the extent mess, which will shave at most one or two seconds off the feverish rush to queue up in the worst intersection in all Miami Beach—the carchoked, nightmarish craziness of Dade and Alton, we mean (if you ever want to witness road rage in slow motion just stand on the little “safety” island there a while). Way to go, City Hall! Just what a pedestrian-oriented, beachside community needs—even more hurtling traffic. And who said you guys lacked vision? We estimate the cost at $10,000,000.00—with the City front-loading considerable debt as the PD&E has to be done before asking for Federal money— so, what’ll we get for our money? Only this: a new bridge over the Collins Canal (into whose murk we’ve stared at length but remain puzzled as to what’s in there) connecting the stumpy part of West Ave to Dade Boulevard via an Alton parallax service road. That’s right; the best the City could do with a piece of prime real estate just 3 blocks from Lincoln Road was design a bypass for cars to careen and career over where no traffic exists. Vroomvroom, baby. Build it and they will speed. Yet, the West Avenue/ Dade Boulevard/Purdy Avenue/Venetian Causeway/Bay Drive nexus is an easy fix. Shifting those pavement markers and a few well-placed medians would work wonders, Gertrude. And, according to our 17th Street Irregulars, whose job it is to ferret out and report this kind of stuff, there’s already a plan for this. But like a drowning man, who’ll clutch at any straw, the City also has a plan for the new Collins Canal bridge, and has since 2008 when the adjacent land was appraised at six million dollars. Now, here’s where things begin to get weird. The Housing Authority of the City of Miami Beach (HACMB), which owns the land, decided in 2009 to decline
the City’s offer of purchase and build affordable housing instead. By February 2010 things had inexplicably changed. HACMB decided that $1.6 million was after all a fine price for an easement over their land. As it would slice the parcel in half, HACMB also figured to still build 72 units of affordable housing for senior citizens. And so, the City readied its plans to build the bridge. Why? These projects attract money, true—the $7 million construction bill will be paid largely by the Feds—but they also cost more. Factor in the clauses of the Davis-Bacon wage act, the Buy American Steel provisos, equal-opportunity (whatever that means) hiring mandates, and the full-blown Environmental Impact study that must be commissioned before work even begins and prestochango!—you’re suddenly bound in red-tape and staggering under debt. And since when did the City of Miami Beach get into road and bridge construction? It’s all rank hypocrisy. When asked why City Hall doesn’t aggressively push rapid transit, one of the stock-in-trade answers is “That’s the County’s job.” So why then, Commissioner Wardheel, does the City suddenly feel the need to do FDOT’s? The City claims disengenuously that these “bridge and intersection improvements” are part of the 1999 Municipal Mobility Plan, which the commissioners infamously traduced when they voted to detach its upgrade of the Pine Tree/23rd Street Bridge—even after a study found that with the upgrade “this crossing would serve to relieve congestion at nearby intersections.” But—get this—when a similar traffic study specifically examined the effects of the new Collins Canal bridge, and extending West Avenue to Dade, and found this project wanting (it specifically “did NOT improve the performance of nearby intersections”), the City plowed on anyway. So, who’s behind this bridge to nowhere? The Planning Department isn’t; nor is Public Works—and both no doubt anxious to take credit if the idea was sound. Then who? Must be the Economic Development Office, which maintains that the Feds think we’re overdue for new road money, even if we don’t need it! As for the HACMB, beyond that $1.6 mil, it’s hard to discern any gain in gutting this
Of all the hopey-changey dopiness that’s come down the pike since the last election, the reasons against burning a Koran are among the dumbest. Don’t protest the Ground Zero mosque, they say, or burn a Koran because the Moslem “street“ will explode!. Pardon us if our slip is showing beneath our burkha, but when is the Moslem “street“ not ready to explode? And just why is it again that we should care about upsetting those who already hate us? Last we heard, these fanatics were not only guilty of murdering 3,000 compatriots but of rioting to the chant of “Death Death Death to America!” While generally down with Voltaire (“To burn is not to answer!”, he hurled at the French king who had his books torched for being seditious), we’ll risk provoking the Religion of Perpetual PissedOffedness by revealing the reason for burning: these people cannot be reasoned with; they loathe our existence and mean us harm. (If, by “these people” you do not know whom we mean, try strolling down a street in Karachi. You’ll find out soon enough.) There is nothing you can do with a really determined atavist—except believe them. So when Moslems say they’ll have sharia law—with its oppression, “honor” killings of women and children; death for any but fervid belief; institutionalized enmity towards “pigs and monkeys” of other religions; cliterectomies, stonings, beheadings and other cultural diversity pleasantries—as the law of the land, believe them. American apologists, ever the useful idiots, ignore the uncompromising zealotry of Mohammedanism, and the fact that sneakers, stuffed animals, comic books and frescos—even beauty queens!—have all been used by these “holy warriors” to grant themselves license to kill whomever “offends” the name of Allah (may peace be upon him). But that America must now face the moral dilemma of acknowledging equal rights for murderers—and that this is a clash of civilizations with only one outcome—we should be grateful.. We are now in the hands of a conflicted president who mulled the arrest of a preacher while siding with fundamentalists who view a Ground Zero mosque as the spoils of war—as befits any Kenyanborn Moslem that holds an anti-colonialist worldview. In reality, the flame of Moslem outrage was lit more than a thousand years ago when the first Crusaders successfully smote the Saracen foe.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 9
COVER STORY
SAVE THE
GUSMAN Can Miamiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Original Flagship Theatre Stay Afloat? Written by John Hood
Picture this: a scrawny high school kid, his too cute girlfriend, and her equally fetching best friend. The three are too young to really know anything, let alone admit it. But they do know enough to notice when something moves them, and to grab hold of that something with all of their open hearts. One night the trio finds themselves standing before a stage watching five chicks, not much older they are, roar at the world. The boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the middle, and from the first chord his girl grabs hold of his hand. Unbeknownst to her, her best friend does likewise, at the very same time.
either of the kids are even aware of what they’re doing, the boy included, who, had he thought about it, would think he’d died and gone to guy heaven. They just know that, at that moment, they each need to hold on to someone else. What’s happening before them is so new, so powerful, so monumental, that it takes the touch of another to reassure them that they’re not alone at the immense wonder of it all. The band before them is called The Runaways. The stage in question is at Gusman Center. And that boy in the middle was me. Really. I wish I could say the me in that picture was the kinda self-possessed sort to whom two girls were always simultaneously attracted, but I can’t. Okay, so maybe later I’d have my day; then though, the fact of the matter had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the magic of the moment. This was The Runaways, baby, live, loud, and in the leather-clad flesh, and all any of us could do was hold on. No telling whether or not the girls in that story remember that night as vividly as I do, nor really if what I remember is all that accurate. But I can bet that there are legions of people out there who’ve got their own memories of that fabled place. And it’s a cinch that none of ‘em would be happy to see it go the way of the dodo. Thing is though, Miami’s first signature venue is experiencing some severe difficulties. And if something doesn’t happen soon, there
N
may be no Gusman Center at all. Born The Olympia way back in 1926 and now officially called the Olympia Theater at the Gusman Center for Performing Arts, the former silent movie palace means many things to Miamians, and all of them are special. My personal highlights happen to be The Runaways (and The Ramones), the restored Once Upon a Time in the West (nothing like a 20foot close-up of Charles Bronson’s face), and the Rhythm Foundation’s presentation of Youssou N’Dour. Yours may be something else. The point is, we all share this common bond, and it would be culturally criminal to have it broken. The question of course is money: Gusman needs it and the City of Miami doesn’t have it to give. According to Director Margaret Lake, their budget is $1.4 million, almost a third of which goes to utilities. According to the official number-crunchers, Miami no longer has it in the budget – or at least not as much of it. On Tuesday afternoon a cadre of Miamians who call themselves Friends of the Gusman descended upon City Hall to plead with the powers-that-be, and after some poignant remarks from the likes of Alva Moore Parks, Commissioner Marc Sarnoff inter-
Page 12 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
rupted the pleadings to reveal a fact that most folks didn’t know: there was a savior waiting in the wings to save our beloved landmark, and all that was left to do was to file the appropriate papers. Oddly, it’s the paperwork which seems to have gotten The Gusman in trouble to begin with. Both Alan Solis of Urban Icons and Laura Quinlan of The Rhythm Foundation went on record stating that the venue is prohibitive to outside productions in many ways, and one of those ways is the nearly insurmountable amount of paperwork each has to file before bringing in the kinda magical moments that make the Gusman such a special place. Furthermore, the costs are high, much higher than comparable venues, and there’s no opportunity of a co-production. The Rhythm Foundation, in particular, has a personal stake in the fate of the place. Chief Laura Quinlan was a Gusman usher as a kid, and RF’s first production took place on its fabled stage. But she and her colleagues haven’t even attempted to produce shows there in many a moon. “Though we would love to be an in-house presenter, “says Quinlan. “It’s just too hard to work
there. And we are all about having a great experience from beginning to end. You can’t have that when the Parking Authority, which runs the Gusman, is towing our production vehicles, and our guests are being locked out of garages where they’ve parked their cars.” Lake counters that with her meager budget they couldn’t co-produce anything, though she most certainly would like to do so one day. And, she hopes, the Knight Grant they’ve applied for will give the Gusman the opportunity to do just that. And yes, there is a reported savior waiting in the wings, but “until the contracts are signed and the money s in the bank” there’s still some uncertainty. What’s worse is this uncertainty is keeping even the flagship venue’s flagship events from committing, and that includes The Miami International Film Festival. “We have a 150 day hold,” Lake told SunPost Weekly. “After that who knows? And while I trust the Commissioner when he says there’s a plan to save the Gusman, a lot of people are waiting to see how things play out.” In two weeks the Miami City Commission meets to finalize the budget. Lake says she and The Friends
Hours: Sun to Thur: 7:00 am - 4pm Fri & Hol: 2 hrs before Sunset
KEMACH YOSHON PAS YISROEL FLOUR IS SIFTED KOSHER PARVE
TEL:
www. ganedenbakery.com
1018 NE N.M.B. Blvd, North Miami Beach
305.919.8444 FAX
305.919.8441
(NE 163 St. & 10 Ave)
PARKING IN THE BACK WHOLESALE • RETAIL • CATERING ALL HOMEMADE FRESH ON PREMISES
SPECIAL
Egg Challah
$
2.95
EACH
Challah Rolls
6 $3.00 FOR
Apple Strudel
$
5.99
Kokosh
$
2.99
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 13
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
MARC ANTHONY
Page 14 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
September 16
September 17
ART Bang Bang
THEATRE Pandemonium
The latest exhibition by Miami’s lauded graffiti artist Typoe opened last weekend to rave reviews. Bang Bang, features multimedia works on paper and sculpture. By nature a commenter, and a heckler, Typoe Illuminates parodies between gang relations and organized religion, corporations and the massacre of war. His mixed media creations range from luxury items and graphics to vandalized found objects that flaunt a punk-like disregard for beauty. Through October 8. Spinello Gallery, 155 NE 38th St., Miami. For info: spinellogallery.com
Do not miss this! Direct from sold-out performances in London, Sydney and Amsterdam, Pandemonium features a cast of 25 performers plus a 30member choir. Where Stomp creates rhythm with everyday objects, Pandemonium transforms everyday objects into a dazzling array of invented instruments. Performed by the Lost and Found Orchestra, Pandemonium creates a symphony, using musical saws, bottles, whirly toys and traffic cones. 7pm. $55 - $75. Ziff Ballet Opera House, 1300 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. For info: arshtcenter.org
September 16
September 18
CHARITY Key West Poker Run
ART Shinique Smith
Phil Peterson’s Key West Poker Run started 38 years ago with 46 riders. It has grown to be South Florida’s biggest biker party, attracting 10,000 participants from across the US. After taking the scenic trek from Miami to Key West, stopping along the way to draw what will hopefully be a winning poker hand, revelers will enjoy a fun-filled weekend in an eight-block area of Duval Street closed off for bikerstyle merrymaking, including food, drinks, a myriad of contests and the ever-popular custom bike show. In the past two decades alone, the Peterson family has raised $500k for the Diabetes Research Institute. $10 per poker hand. For info: PetersonsKeyWestPokerRun.com
The Museum of Contemporary Art will exhibit Shinique Smith’s first largescale U.S. museum exhibition. In this exhibition, Smith will use MOCA’s flexible gallery space to explore new ways of working and installing her work. Part of MOCA’s Knight Exhibition Series, Shinique Smith: Menagerie will include installations, works on paper, and video from 2002 to the present. Menagerie is an apt title for this assortment of paintings, drawings, videos, and three-dimensional work Smith has assembled to satisfy her own curiosity at this juncture of her career. Through November 19. $3-$5 The Museum of Contemporary Art, 770 NE 125th Street, North Miami. For info: mocanomi.org.
September 17
September 18
MUSIC Marc Anthony
MUSIC Cat Shell
Latin Crooner Marc Anthony will be in Miami this weekend to perform two nights of beautiful, sensual Latin sounds. If you care, watch for possible sightings of J-lo. Songs include those from his latest album, Iconos. 8pm. AAArena, 601 Biscayne Blvd Miami. For info: livenation.com
Catch the Jazzy pop sounds of local songstress, Cat Shell when she plays Titanic Restaurant and Brewery. This all American, blue-eyed blond has a unique acoustic sound that combines the sounds of the past with the present. 10pm. Titanic Restaurant and Brewery, 5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd; Coral Gables. For info: titanicbrewery.com
September 17
September 18
ART Speed Limits Speed Limits, a new exhibition currently on view at the Wolfsonian-FIU explores the role of speed in modern life and also celebrates the hundredth anniversary of Italian Futurism. Speed Limits presents more than 200 works from the collections of The Wolfsonian and the CCA and features a variety of media, including posters, books, drawings, clocks, paintings, and video installations. $7. The Wolfsonian, 1001 Washington Ave, Miami Beach. For info: wolfsonian.org
LECTURE Edible Landscapes David McLean, an authority on Florida’s native plants, will discuss edible landscapes, including herbs, heirloom plants and native species that greeted early settlers to the State of Florida. He combines historical perspective with botanical expertise and Florida folk-
SAVE THE DATE:
September 17
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2010
MUSIC Kings of Leon
CIRCO DE LOS HORRORES
Rockers, Kings of Leon will hit town to perform a one-night only show this weekend. The show predates the release of their highly anticipated fifth album, Come Around Sundown, on October 19. They will perform songs from the new album like Radioactive as well as all time favs like Crawl and Closer. Opening bands include The Black Keys, and The Whigs. $30.50-$50.50. 7:30pm. Cruzan Amphitheatre, 601-7 Sansbury’s Way; West Palm Beach. For info: livenation.com ABOVE: SHINIQUE SMITH, BALE VARIANT NUMBER 0012, 2005.
MIAMI WILL BE INVADED BY MONSTERS, GHOULS AND GOBLINS, WHEN CIRCO DE LOS HORRORES DEBUTS FOR THE FIRST TIME TO AMERICAN AUDIENCES. GHOULISH ACTS RANGE FROM STUNNING AERIAL ACTS AND ELEVATED TIGHTROPE PERFORMANCES, TO BREATHTAKING ACROBATICS AND COMICAL AUDIENCE INTERACTIONS.CONTORTIONISTS, JUGGLERS, ACROBATS AND CLOWNS LURK THROUGH AN EERIE MIST RISING FROM BELOW. MANY WILL BE PASSED THROUGH GUILLOTINES AND OTHERS WILL HAVE KNIVES HURLED AT THEM. ALL THROUGHOUT EUROPE, CIRCO DE LOS HORRORES HAS BEEN CALLED A MIX OF CIRCUS AND THEATER. $20.00 - $80.00. 8PM. THROUGH OCTOBER 17. JAMES L. KNIGHT CENTER, 400 SE SECOND AVE. MIAMI. FOR INFO: JLKC.COM www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 15
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
lore. Native plants and trees for sale. 10am. Free. Miami Beach Botanical Garden, 2000 Convention Center Drive, Miami Beach. For info: mbgarden.org
event in honor of her debut novel, Stiltsville. Daniel’s story charts the course of Miami’s maturation, along with that of main characters Frances and Dennis and their marriage. There are the still waters of daily life and the ferocious winds of Hurricane Andrew. Stiltsville is full of small details that have huge impact. And along with a discussion with the author there will be giveaways and tasty treats from The Newsstand by Books & Books. 7:30pm. Books & Books, 9700 Collins Ave. Bal Harbour. For info: booksandbooks.com
September 18 SOCIAL Beer Snob Pub Crawl A new and fun way to party and exercise is the Beer Snob Bicycle Pub Crawl, which is celebrating Oktoberfest. The fun starts at Zeke’s Roadhouse for $4 beers. Then party moves on to The Abbey, The Filling Station, and ends at The DRB in Miami. 21 and over. Free except for what you drink. Zekes, 625 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach. For info: miamibikescene.blogspot.com
September 22 ART Something to Say
September 19 MUSIC New World Symphony New World Symphony kicks off its season with a free concert, Night Music conducted by Scott Yoo. Listen to Mozart: Serenade No. 6, Serenata Notturno; Schoenberg: Transfigured Night (1943 revision) and BARTÓK: Divertimento. Free. Tickets required. 2pm. Lincoln Theatre, 541 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach. For info: 305-673-3331 or nws.edu
September 20
TYPOE
Profane Expressions, a new exhibition with works by Sandra Ceballos, Hamlet Lavastida, Ernesto Leal, Yali Romagoza, and Ezequiel Suraez at the David Castillo Gallery. Each artist has used words as the medium for their pieces. Hamlet Lavastida has cut out a series of passages from a found speech. Ezequiel Suarez’s drawings reveal the artist’s interest in the aesthetics of Outsider Art and the visual language of advertising and political slogans. Applying fashion and performance as formal languages, Yali Romagoza will present a series of male and female garments that explore the way clothing is used to communicate varying ideas of gender, power and identity. Through October 2. David Castillo Gallery, 2234 NW 2nd Ave; Miami. For info: davidcastillogallery.com ABOVE: ARI MARCOPOULOS, NO CAUSE. MIDDLE: KEY WEST POKER RUN. BELOW: PROFANE EXPRESSIONS AT DAVID CASTILLO.
ART Ari Marcopoulos Dutch Photographer Ari Marcopoulos has cemented himself as one of the most influential cultural anthropologists of the last three decades. His work focused on marginal pockets of American life and chronicled the early roots of these subcultures like Andy Warhol and his factory or NYC Club Kids in full regalia. Marcopoulos produced some of the most arresting images of youth and defiance this generation ever witnessed. He will be showing new photographs in, No Cause, a series that captures the ’90s New York skate scene through intimate portraits caught on Polaroid, black and white photos, color snap shots, photocopies, and drawings. Through October 9. Oh Wow Gallery, 3100 NW 7th Ave; Miami. For info: oh-wow.com
September 20 BOOKS Stiltsville Miami native Susanna Daniel will host the Stiltsville Soiree – a Book Club Mini Mixer Page 16 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
FOR KIDS Friday, September 19 Milk A Moo Cow THIS IS A GREAT EVENT TO TAKE THE LITTLE ONES. MEET A REAL FARMER AND SEVERAL OF HIS MOOING HIS MILK COWS ON DAIRY DAY AT MIAMI CHILDREN’S MUSEUM. ENJOY AN AFTERNOON OF FUN AND CELEBRATION, FEATURING MILK SAMPLINGS, A MOOING CONTEST, DAIRY-RELATED GAMES, CRAFTS, AND GIVEAWAYS, AS WELL AS MERRY MOO, THE DAIRY FARMERS’ MASCOT. 3PM-9PM. FREE. MCM, 980 MACARTHUR CAUSEWAY, MIAMI. FOR INFO: MIAMICHILDRENSMUSEUM.ORG
Check Out Our New Website. What you love about our print edition is on our website, plus a whole lot more. Check it out right now.
sunpostweekly.com
Social
Cinema REVIEW
Truth Seekers By Ruben Rosario (ruben@sunpostweekly.com)
THE TILLMAN STORY
Joaquin. In the mid-eighties, he was Leaf Phoenix, and I have fond memories of his scene-stealing turn as the precocious pipsqueak in the family adventure SpaceCamp. To see him this way, as a monosyllabic train wreck in denial of how bad he is as a rapper, made me angry, not at the media figures who turned Phoenix into a laughingstock (this means you, David Letterman), but at Affleck, who stood by and merely observed his fall from grace. Maybe this was a time to put down the damn camera and get your brother-in-law into rehab! I also would have liked to see more of Phoenix’s creative process in coming up with his hip-hop routine; as it is, the rap numbers serve as little more than punchlines in between temper tantrums. Affleck nearly redeems himself with the ending, which shows Phoenix going to Panama to visit his dad. The extended closing shot, an homage to Gus Van Sant’s Gerry (which starred Affleck), follows Phoenix for what feels like an eternity as he wades waist-deep into a river. It’s a haunting image, but the sour aftertaste of what has preceded it still lingers. As a brutally honest portrait of a showbiz ego run amok, I’m Still Here is highly entertaining in its lurid voyeurism. I was riveted…and I was repelled. For a more compassionate outlook at good people doing some very bad things, look no further than the new film from Casey’s older brother. The Town is a satisfying potboiler that goes through its genre-derived paces with verve and tons of affection for Charlestown, the blue-collar Boston borough that, we’re informed at the beginning, has produced more bank and armored truck robbers than in any other neighborhood in the world. The plot, which unfolds with clockwork efficiency, kicks into gear with a tense holdup, which serves as a meet-cute device for kind-hearted crook Doug Macray (Ben Affleck, who also directed and cowrote the script) and bank manager Claire Keesey (Vicky Cristina Barcelona’s Rebecca Hall, on a roll after Please Give earlier this year). The unlikely courtship that ensues poses a risk to the anonymity of Macray’s band of thieves, which makes James, Macray’s trigger-happy associate and lifelong pal (The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner, channeling Joe Pesci in GoodFellas) even more paranoid over the FBI agent hot on their trail (Mad Men’s Jon Hamm, playing another attractive jerk). Doug and Claire’s
Page 18 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
I’M STILL HERE
tender romance also gives the Good Will Hunting star an excuse to take in the sights and sounds of Charlestown. As in his previous turn behind the camera, Gone Baby Gone, Affleck cast many locals in small roles, and the film’s authenticity goes a long way towards making the story’s overly familiar elements more palatable. He also pulls off an elaborate chase sequence that takes full advantage of the city’s narrow streets. Comparisons to The Departed, that other Beantown crime drama, will be rampant, but The Town, which was adapted from Chuck Hogan’s novel Prince of Thieves, reminded me more of the cops-and-robbers pictures Warner Brothers used to produce in the thirties and forties. The weapons may be more high-tech nowadays, but that could have easily been Jimmy Cagney fending off a police assault. It doesn’t quite match the rawness of his impressive debut feature, but the older Affleck sibling continues to prove he’s a natural born filmmaker. More, please. If you can only see one movie this week, though, make it The Tillman Story. This probing, deeply moving documentary from My Kid Could Paint That director Amir Bar-Lev could have easily settled for uncovering how the Bush administration shamelessly used the friendlyfire death of NFL star-turned-Army ranger Pat Tillman as a marketing tool for the Iraq War. But Bar-Lev goes further, giving us a full-bodied portrait of the man and his family. Mixing home-video footage with talking-head interviews with family, friends, Army colleagues and Tillman himself, the former Arizona Cardinal emerges as a fascinating individual, an athlete who had a 3.8 college GPA, an atheist who read the Qur’an, a risk-taker who married his high school sweetheart, and a devoted soldier who called the Iraq War “so f***ing illegal.” His parents are equally engaging; you can definitely tell where Pat got his stubborn sense of justice. The film ends with the April 2007 Congress hearing at which the Tillmans testified; by the time his brother Kevin, who enlisted with Pat, took the stand, I was a blubbering mess. “We shouldn’t have smokescreens thrown in our faces,” his mother declares. Now that’s patriotism I can get behind. I’m Still Here opens this weekend at Little Havana’s Tower Theater. The Tillman Story opens at Regal South Beach Cinemas. The Town opens in wide release. For more information go to fandango.com.
THE MIAMI ART MUSEUM AT THE FESTIVAL
Fall For The Arts Festival By Marguerite Gil I fell for this Arts endeavor and I’m glad I did. Last Sunday the Adrienne Arsht Center threw a block party that was hot. It was really hot out there (about 110 degrees in the shade), but it was also a fun event that brought out thousands of people who enjoyed tons of free-bees, such as performances by local musicians, free magazines, discount tickets and giveaways. More importantly, it gave attendees, access to all of the arts organizers on a one-to-one basis. Fall For The Arts celebrated MiamiDade’s Cultural and Community service organizations and by the number of people who I saw there, it was a huge success. Over 150 organizations were shaking hands and smiling at passer-bys. Kids were getting their faces painted and drawing with chalks on the Arsht’s outdoor sidewalks. Many arts enthusiasts waited on lines for show tickets while others enjoyed a variety of food and beverages. If you missed it, you missed a terrific event that promotes the Arts in South Florida. But not to worry, there’s always next year. Hopefully by then the City will have planted some additional, much needed shade trees. ABOVE: BAHAMIAN BRASS STRIKES A CHORD AT THE FALL FOR THE ARTS FESTIVAL. LEFT: MIREYA POWER REPRESENTING THE PIAG MUSEUM. ARTIST NAOMI FISHER STRIKES A POSE
KIDS CHALKING IT UP AT THE ARSHT CENTER
photo credit: M. Gil
As a critic, one learns to combine how your brain reacts to a particular movie with what your gut tells you, and 99 times out of 100, both responses are in perfect harmony. A film like I’m Still Here appears to exist merely to upset this delicate balance. Casey Affleck’s feature debut, one of three new movies I’m reviewing this week, purports to be a nonfiction chronicle of the year that followed after Joaquin Phoenix, the director’s brother-in-law, announced to the world he would no longer be an actor. My cerebral cortex reveled in the young filmmaker’s schadenfreude as he documents Phoenix’s bumbling attempts to make a go of it as a hip-hop artist. “I was stuck in a self-imposed prison of characterization,” he laments of his career in front of the camera. (Think of a more self-indulgent Christopher Guest and then you’ll have an idea of what Affleck is going for here.) My gut instinct, though, was having none of it. In the course of the film, we witness the Gladiator star, sunglasses always in place and his hair a fauxdreadlocked mess, having a drug-fueled nervous breakdown in front of our eyes. Now, it’s clear to me that, Affleck’s claims to the contrary, a sizable portion of I’m Still Here has been staged, and that the film is, indeed, a hybrid of fact and fiction. For instance, upon hearing that year’s Oscar nominations and discovering he had not been nominated for Reservation Road, he goes into a pretty unconvincing tirade against Leonardo DiCaprio, whose film Revolutionary Road garnered a nod for actor Michael Shannon. I don’t see anything wrong with shaping real events to arrive at a deeper truth about the dog-eat-dog world of celebrity stardom. The problem is that there’s enough unaltered footage of Phoenix’s self-destructive behavior to question Affleck’s ethics. During a gig at a Miami nightclub, Phoenix lunges at a heckler in the crowd, and is then escorted to the bathroom, where he proceeds to vomit into a sink. It’s a painful sight, especially because I’d been following Phoenix before he changed his name to
Music COLUMN
Bassnectar: The United States of Bass! By John Hood Music to most people is a way of life, a system of introspection, a sacred sanctity of ones own thoughts and reflections that can be recalled with the fire of imagination to create a new world, a new life or a break from the current one. When these types of people hear music that they appreciate it hits them straight in their core, it acts as a mechanism for multi-faceted synapse release that can induce a trance like state in the listener. Of the multitude of “artists” out there in the world the void that once existed between them has been bridged by the internet, nowadays new artists pop up like pimple’s on a meth heads face, and like the irritation caused to the poor junkie’s skin, most new “artists” can cause the same irritation to the listener, as time after time, track after track, the search for new and interesting music becomes mundane, suffocated by the vast, ever increasing well of “copy-cat”, carbon copy artists. But then you stumble on to something different, in a way to almost part the red sea, the track fills up your immediate space, and you connect with it. Well for me, and many others like me, this happens with tracks from a man that they call Bassnectar! If you haven’t heard of him, you might have spent too much time living under that rock, but for the vast majority who have, he has created a cerebral awakening in the hearts and minds of music lovers from all over the globe. His music is unique, flowing, smooth and fresh. His sound is his own and his style has not just been to duplicate dance music, to keep the internet windmill turning, but each track that he offers expresses a feeling, a mood, a vibe. He does not work with the commercial crew, and despite his “fame”, he does not care to put a will-i-am on a track to sell records, but searches for the hidden talent, to siv the fresh from the rotten: He describes it himself as “omnitempo maximalism“, which means no rules, no limitations, and no hesitation in fusing the familiar with the strange or the classic with the cutting edge. What started back in the mid nineties as social action youth culture experiment has become a being that has ties all around the world, and loads of loyal fans spreading its wings. Bassnectar is awesome, a truely inspiration being that will give you his thanks and spends much time devoted to giving stuff back, whether its free tracks, merchandise or just a “thank you” response, this guy puts in the effort, which makes him seem normal in the world of the celebrity. Truely, one of my favorite artists, Dont Party was lucky enough to be given some super good head-space time with the man himself, and he was well keen the entire way through! Here is a bit of Bassnectar in a few questions or less… Recently you were in the running to be voted as America’s top DJ (by americasbestdj.net), seeing as your sound isn’t the stereotypical ‘commercial’, Black Eyed Peas blaring monotonously out of your speakers, did it surprise you to be in the running (and also do so well), or are you finding people are responding with much more enthusiasm to less corporately backed rubbish and want more from their music? I hadn’t actually heard about that ‘nomination’ but I think most of that stuff is insane anyways. In general, YES: people gravitate toward authentic, raw quality over well-marketed, high-polished, low-risk sound. Underground music will always have that advantage, as we strive to mutate farther beyond the status quo, and get more daring in our adventures; we increase our potential to develop undeniable dopeness! How would you describe the kind of music that you make/ play to the person who has been sheltered in the Antarctic for the last decade and hasn’t heard of you? Well, I don’t follow many rules, and I love to allow myself un-disturbed creative freedom, so the sounds and styles change a lot. Really, it’s anything that I enjoy, and at times, it plays the devil’s advocate, or creates almost a foil or darkness so that another part or song can shine in comparison. I don’t know, I would probably tell that person in the Antarctic to read “Jitterbug Perfume” and drink some hot tea. Do you think that in today’s digital age, it is important to be a producer as well as a DJ to ensure longevity in your career? I think it is pretty far past the point that an individual can simply DJ (the verb) and not participate deeper with their content (remixes, edits, or digital techniques) unless it is just a creative past time. In terms of professionally providing a state of the art experience for other people, the bar will always be raised, and it’s up to the individual if they care about where the bar is. For myself, I could not STOP myself from producing, creating, re-creating, remixing, or participating in the constant changes and mutations of music. It is automatic. When I hear one of your tracks, I immediately know it’s yours, the combination of your unique bass sound and those sick swung drums… something that you’re very well known for. Is this originality
something you’ve consciously worked towards, or has it just been a natural development? I’ve heard a pretty specific sound in my head for a LONG time… In 1995 when I started going out to ‘techno raves’ I was so new to it all that just loved everything I heard. Then as I got more specifically into psy trance I liked the heavier, more demonic shit, and I loved the really crazy percussive stuff. As I steered into experimental electronica I wished it had more bass and thickness, and I wished jungle was slower and heavier. At the turn of the century I was DJing with most of my records pitched down to 33, usually I would record it like that and add new percussion loops on top for brightness, I was doing extreme electronic edits to my material by 1998, so it has been a pretty mutant style ever since then. I guess I create sounds to compliment what’s already in existence, in that I am not as interested in producing sounds that are already well-developed and distributed. The heavy-swung 100 bpm bass-hop thing started in 1999 by accident with some beatbox loops I recorded, a JP-8000, and the discovery of the “shuffle” function in quantizing. Take us through a normal day in your life? HOME: wake up around 11, wrestle with email/phone correspondence until sundown, and then make music until about 3am. TOUR: wake up around 11, travel for 4-8 hours, sound check, execute the set, crash. You always seem to be touring, how do you find time to make tracks? That is extremely difficult. I have so much unfinished…I even have collaborations (including one of the sickest acapellas I’ve ever heard, from South African MC: SPOEK) and unfinished tracks as far back as ten years which are just collecting dust…nearly 1000 unfinished song ideas… it’s just how it goes I guess. Do you own any outboard gear? My chair. How do you feel about electronic music at the moment, is it progressing nicely, or do you feel like it’s in a weird kind of rut? It’s great. I am mostly attracted to either: extremely well-made high quality music with undeniable groove (that would be all the household names and such) *OR* totally freaked-out genius experimentation (Wormstorm is a great example of this, as is Die Antwoord, whom I recently discovered and have since become their number 1 fan). Bassnectar will play September 17 at 8pm at the Fillmore Miami Beach at The Jackie Gleason Theatre. www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 19
The 411
Bass Museum of Art Ariel Stein
COLUMN
Season’s Best 2010 - Part lll By Mary Jo Almeida-Shore maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
MICHAEL CAPPONI, NIGHTLIFE IMPRESARIO; OWNER, CAPPONI CONSTRUCTION; PHILANTHROPIST Nightclub/lounge/bar Casa Tua
“The sunset party on Sundays at Fontainebleau’s latest venue Arkadia, will be this season’s newest scene.”
Other
“Visiting the Bass Museum is great way to spend an afternoon. The Bass, which Capponi Construction is currently renovating, offers unique exhibitions and events.”
JILIAN LOURDES SANZ, NATIONAL FASHION DIRECTOR, HAUTE LIVING MAGAZINE
Hotel
“W South Beach brings the most eclectic group of who’s who to the beach. Locals get into whatever/whenever at WET and WALL on Thursdays.”
Nightclub/lounge/bar
“I adore spending time with my friends on the rooftop of the Webster. Top to bottom that place is a symbol or easy sophistication—it’s about a way of life.”
Expensive Restaurant
“So many great restaurants have opened on the beach, but Casa Tua remains my favorite. It offers a perfect balance of delicious food and enjoyable ambiance.” Moderate/inexpensive Restaurant
“By far, the best meals are served at my home, where my chef- girlfriend Taylor Erickson, who currently studies at Le Cordon Bleu, spoils me with a variety of cuisines.” Daytime Leisure Activity
“There’s nothing like taking a Sunday cruise on my boat to the Mondrian for brunch and cocktails poolside.” Jilian Sanz
Page 20 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Hotel
“It’s all about the W hotel. It’s posh, for sure, but at the same time it has a homey quality as I can’t step through the doors without seeing a slew of familiar faces.” Expensive Restaurant
“Casa Tua is consistently great. There’s always a fantastic atmosphere which is mainly fueled by the ultra-chic crowd.” Moderate/inexpensive Restaurant
“Sosta on Lincoln has, hands down, the best Pizza. Try “The Sosta;”
Michael Capponi
W Hotel South Beach
it’s topped with Burrata—enough said.”
Alexis Knapp
Daytime Leisure Activity
ARIEL RAPHAEL STEIN - REALITY TV PERSONALITY, DESIGNER AND ENTREPRENEUR
“A day at The Standard is like Miami’s equivalent to a little time spent in heaven. Also a sure spot to run into great friends!”
Nightclub
“Mynt is very intense. It’s still a wild mix of everything hot, you just lose yourself in the music, there are no rules and no one tells.”
BEAU BEASLEY- SOUTH BEACH SOCIALITE AND PARTY FIXTURE
Lounge
Nightclub/lounge/bar
“The NEW Mokai on Saturday nights provides rafter swinging at its finest!” Hotel
“For lounging and relaxing, it still has to be the Standard Hotel; for a social scene- definitely the Delano on Tuesday nights.” Expensive Restaurant
“You can never go wrong with Prime Italian. I always feel like I need to be rolled out of that place because the portions are sooo big and the food is so damn good!” Moderate/inexpensive Restaurant
“Coco De Ville- It’s just fun and no one judges anyone, you don’t need to be in designer clothing. Your attitude and good sense of style gets you through the door. Just respect the place and respect yourself and you’re more than welcome to have a drink. People don’t like people who act snobby there. It’s all level headed and a great vibe.”
Daytime Leisure Activity
“Biltmore’s Sunday champagne brunch is one of my all-time favorites when I can make it. It’s like stepping into a time machine. The hotel’s energy just pulls you in and you get lost in this glamorous, historical, mysterious, evil-but- beautiful hidden world. You feel like a mobster.” “The pool party at the Standard Hotel on Sundays is always a creative, cool and eclectic group of people that are great to be around and are very welcoming. The music is not crazy annoying. It’s a laid back trendy mix of people hanging pool side. You can end the night with Bingo in the hotel Lobby and it’s a Bingo you don’t want to miss.” “Shopping at Bal Harbour Shops is just a classic good time for window shopping, seeing the latest fashions and there are great sales. You can get your hair done, have coffee, get social. It’s like a cruise ship, you can spend all day there and time flies by.”
Bar
“The Bar at the Setai Hotel- You just feel chic there, it’s elegant and expensive.” Hotel
“The Raleigh-there’s just something so ‘Old Hollywood’ about this place. It’s incredibly sexy and quiet. Best pool bar by far and when you ask for service you don’t wait very long.”
“I love, love, love the NEW Alta Mare on Lincoln Road- super fab ambiance and the service is amazing.”
Expensive Restaurant
“The Forge- most fabulous face-lift of the century and I love the new dishes. You feel a royal vibe and the staff embraces everyone as a guest in the house.”
Daytime Leisure Activity
“Bal Harbour Shops is always going to take the winning stamp. Carpaccio is legendary.....the shopping is superb and the beautiful eye candy calls for an extra dentist visit. It’s where the beautiful people go to shop, dine and be seen.” Other
“When you want to cheat on your trainer....Shake Shack on Lenox and Lincoln Road is the place to eat! The best hot-dogs on the planet! “ Beau Beasley
ALEXIS KNAPP, PRINCIPAL, TRESKOI PR “What an exciting time to live in Miami; as we watch our backyard become a culinary playground. Oldies but goodies remain like SUSHISAMBAdromo on Lincoln Road, but for those looking for something new and different, Timon Balloo offers playful takes on tapas at his Midtown hotspot Sugarcane raw bar grill while Danny Devito South Beach has received a culinary facelift with a new menu and aspen sensation, Dena Marino, now helming the kitchen.” Nightclub/lounge/bar
Hotel W South Beach
Moderate/inexpensive Restaurant
Expensive Restaurant
“Zodiac -on the 3rd floor of Neiman Marcus in Bal Harbour. It smells like NEW. It’s menu is simple but I love their style of serving everyone consume-chicken broth which is pointless but elegant and this addictive strawberry butter with warm baked bread and most of their diners resemble Joan Collins and Joan Rivers. You just feel like old money and smart.”
DeVito South Beach Moderate/inexpensive Restaurant
Sugarcane raw bar and grill Daytime Leisure Activity
Polo
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 21
GO! UPCOMING SOCIAL EVENTS
End of Summer Fun By Mary jo Almeida-Shore maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
VAN DER BAUWEDE GENĂ&#x2C6;VE
the Susan G. Komen For The Cure Foundation of Miami/Ft. Lauderdale. Expect a flashback to the 90s including stylinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; looks worn by the staff and fun dĂŠcor to boot. In addition, be sure to participate in the lookalike contest for a chance to win a $100 RA Sushi gift certificate by dressing up as your favorite 90s actor, pop star, politician or TV personality. There will also be a Macarena Dance-Off in which the winner takes home a $50 gift certificate. The party takes place from 7 p.m. until closing and will feature DJ Rico on the 1s and 2s and local celebrity drag queen Daisy Deadpetals (Too Wong Foo or The Birdcage anyone?) who will put on a show and perform a fun rendition of Britney Spearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baby One More Time.â&#x20AC;? In honor of the event, Head Sushi Chef, Elijah Wiener, and RA mixologists worked together to create a sampling of specialty rolls and cocktails for the celebration. The themed food menu will consist of $9-$10 Japanese delights and $5 drink specials all night. In the spirit of giving, $2 from the purchase of each item from the themed sushi menu will be donated to the Susan G. Komen For The Cure Miami/Ft. Lauderdale. For more information, contact: (305) 341-0092 or visit rasushi.com.
Swiss born luxury watch and jewelry brand Van Der Bauwede Genève (say that ten times fast) will unveil its first U.S. flagship boutique at the Village of Merrick Park (370 San Lorenzo Avenue, 2nd floor) on Thursday, September 16, bringing its stunning assortment of signature watch, jewelry and diamond collections stateside for the first time. David Rolland U.S. President and CEO of Van Der Bauwede Genève will host the evening alongside of four Miami socialites â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Maria Beguiristain, Christina Buppert, Jennifer Cervera and Alexia Echevarria. The event will take place on Thursday, September 16 from 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:00 p.m. A percentage of the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proceeds will be donated to the Voices Against Brain Cancer Foundation. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on this magical evening of fashion, shopping, and elegance.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RA! On Thursday, Sept. 16, RA Sushi in South Miami (5829 Southwest 73rd Street) invites fans to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fall into the 90s at RAâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a 90s themed party celebrating the restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second anniversary and benefitting
& #'()*+&,
Bacardi Executives Juan Rovira, John Esposito, Julious Grant and Michelle Beauchamp with GREY GOOSE Entertainment Rising Icon Laura Izibor (center) who performed at a private gathering at the Bacardi headquarters in Coral Gables last Thursday, August 26th to celebrate the second season of the highly acclaimed BET GREY GOOSE Rising Icons series.
! !
"
#
$ % %
!" # $ %&'('%)( * *
Page 22 â&#x20AC;˘ Thursday, September 16, 2010 â&#x20AC;˘ SunPost Weekly â&#x20AC;˘ www.sunpostweekly.com
Entertainment Rising Icon Laura Izibor at the Bacardi GREY GOOSE Entertainment Rising Icon Melanie Fiona at Headquarters in Coral Gables LIV on Sunday, August 29th where she gave a breathtaking performance. Other noteworthy guests included DJ Irie, Mike Epps and Louis Oliver
Food
Bound
REVIEW
COLUMN
Asi’s Grill and Sushi Bar
City of Swing
By David Finn
Getting with the Book behind Boardwalk Empire
Miami is a restaurant city. Every corner overflows with a space that serves up tantalizing treats to tempt and entice you. Chefs from every corner of the globe are cooking up the unusual to the mundane. Be it Italian, French, Cuban, Columbian, Chinese, Japanese…I could go on, but you get the point. We even have some eclectic pairings like a Chinese Jewish Deli that serves Mushu alongside a bagel, lox and shmear. Thai with Japanese is an all time Miami favorite. We love that, diversity in dining. It’s what makes Miami, Miami. Keeping with this diversity, a new place opened on Miami Beach recently that has a full Mediterranean menu and a sushi bar. To top it all off, it’s kosher. Surprisingly, this unusual and interesting combo works. Asi’s Grill & Sushi Bar will definitely surprise your taste buds. The restaurant isn’t about ambiance and fancy fussy décor; it is all about the food. It is family friendly and on any given night the place is jammed with families. A mix of Orthodox Jews, Israeli’s, SoBe fashionistas and tourists. There are flat screens for those who want to watch the game and the place is friendly, relaxed and unpretentious. The minute we sat down, before even our drink order was taken, a huge platter of Mediterranean appetizers was put before us. This is standard practice at Asi’s. As long as you order one main dish, you get this mouthwatering (and it was mouthwatering), assortment of ten mini appetizers. Hummus, baked eggplant, tabouli, shredded beets, sliced carrots, Moroccan cigars, chickpeas, angel hair pasta in sauce, falafel and babaganush. The standout appetizer was the Babaganush. Slightly sweet, creamy, garlicky and light. We all agreed it was the best Babaganush we have ever had, bar none. There were five people in our party, so for the main course we decided to sample a variety of dishes family style. Plentiful is what comes to mind. The table was groaning under the selection that the chef and owner Asi David suggested we sample. Plate after plate was brought out – crispy fried chicken on a bed of lettuce, kabobs, Shakshuka, Jerusalem Mix, grilled chicken salad, a Volcano roll, a Japanese Bagel roll and a spicy, crunchy tuna salmon roll. Hands down my favorite was the fried chicken. It was served over a bed of mixed greens, unusual but delicious. The chicken was tender, juicy and most importantly not greasy. The coating was light and crispy. It was definitely a table favorite because within 3 minutes it was gone. The kabobs were lamb, beef and chicken sprinkled with a mild Mediterranean spice. They were fresh and juicy. The grilled chicken salad was also superb, tender chicken breast sliced over fresh mixed greens. The shak-
shuka, a dish of Libyan origin that consists of eggs cracked into a spicy stew of tomatoes, onions, and chilies was pretty fabulous. Spicy and quirky it made me feel like I was sitting in a Jerusalem shuk (market). The table favorite was the Jerusalem mix, a popular Israeli dish made of an eclectic assortment of fried meats. Asi’s version is all chicken though. We could smell it cooking, a heady aroma of curry and garlic wafted by our table. It tasted as good as it smelled. A little like a Jamaican chicken curry, but spiced with fresh turmeric, garlic, onion and cumin. Now, I did mention that Asi’s was a kosher restaurant. That works for the Mediterranean side of the menu, but what about the sushi? How was I going to order my all time favorite Shrimp Tempura Roll? Owner, Asi, who prepares most of the dishes himself, assured me I would be impressed by his rolls. They use kosher white fish as a substitute for the shrimp & crab. We had a California roll, a Volcano roll, a shrimp tempura roll and a crunchy tuna salmon roll. The volcano roll was outstanding. Mounds of spicy topping over very fresh sushi…more than delish. For dessert we were served homemade moist marble chocolate cake, yum! And a simple, traditional Middle Eastern Baklava made with layered phyllo dough and chopped pistachio nuts. It was sweet, crisp and flaky and totally mouthwatering. I would say it is some of the best Baklava I have had in Miami. Along with the treats, we were served a heady Turkish coffee that assailed all your senses, as a good coffee should. Hot, thick, dark and rich, it looked so strong that I was expecting a bitter espresso blast. But when you take a sip, the sweetness melts on your tongue warming your mouth as it slides down your throat. There is no cream or milk added just the heavy aroma of java and sweetness. This delight would no doubt be a best seller at Starbucks. It comes from a remote village in Israel, which is also the hometown of Asi. I would definitely go to Asi’s for their Babaganuch, the meat dishes, and that Turkish coffee. My advice? If you choose to dine family style as we did, make sure to ask for a new plate when you move from appetizers to main courses to dessert. The staff is very friendly, the service quick and excellent. It is a dream come true for the hard working Asi, who left Israel for America to build a better life for himself and his family. His dedication and tradition shows in the diversity of the family recipes he has chosen to add to the menu, the caring personal way each dish is prepared and the comfortable, homey charm of his restaurant. Asi’s Grill and Sushi Bar is located at 4020 Royal Palm, Miami Beach. For info and delivery: 305.604.0555 or asisgrill.com
By John Hood The 500 Club, Paradise Café, Club Harlem, Little Belmont, The Bath and Turf Club, the Cliquot Club… just saying names of these fabled swing spots evokes an era of high vice and low blows. These were gambling dens, before the era of casinos, yet run wide open. Why? Because in Prohibition era Atlantic City, what was once vice was now habit and it wouldn’t be broken for anything, let alone a little inconvenience like law. As you’ve undoubtedly heard by now that wild time in the ol’ beachfront town is about to be brought back to life by HBO in the series Boardwalk Empire. Executive produced by Martin Scorcese (who directed the first episode) and overseen by EmmyAward-winning writer Terence Winter (of The Sopranos), Boardwalk Empire promises to be the It series of the season. And there’s not a TV viewer in all the land who isn’t duly thrilled by the prospect. But like many a cool concept to make its way to screens big and small, Boardwalk Empire springs from somewhere else. In this case it’s Nelson Johnson’s same named book, which rings with the subtitle The Birth, High Times and Corruption of Atlantic City. Unlike the series, Johnson’s book runs the gamut of Atlantic City’s riveting history, from the time the sandbar was nothing more than a gleam in a man named Jonathan Pitney’s riled eye, to the time when the bottom basically fell outta the sky, and hard times had once again descended upon the descendants of the “Pineys” who first made this inhospitable place home. But the highlight of the book – and the subject of the series – is the stretch that spanned from Prohibition to The Great Depression, when everything went, and it all went under the watchful eye of one Enoch “Nucky” Johnson. Renamed Thompson for the series (and played by great Steve Buscemi), Nucky Johnson was the kinda boss of which legends are made. A pal to both President Harding (he delivered the New Jersey delegation at the Republican Convention) and Al Capone (he arranged a mob conference in May of 1929), Nucky was known as a man who could get things done, and make everyone a lotta loot while doing so. Ever with a dame on his arm and a thug by his side, Nucky ruled with a combination of charm and hubris that over-shown and out-shadowed even The Commodore who’d bequeathed him his spot. No one stood between Nucky and his objectives, because Nucky’s objectives benefitted everyone. And virtually everyone made out like proverbial bandits. Everyone but a certain William Randolph Hearst, that is. The story is that Nucky had hit on a chick at the Silver Slipper Saloon, a chick that just so happened to be a favorite of Hearst’s. When the womanizing newspaper magnate found out about it, he used his broadsheets to run a series of exposes detailing the crime and corruption under Nucky’s reign. Nucky countered by banning all of Hearst’s newspapers. Then Willy Boy really got mad, and he enlisted J. Edgar Hoover and his G men in a quest to get even. It took some time (five years or so), and it took some finagling (like I said, no one wanted to speak out against their benefactor), but the Feds did finally make their case, and Nucky went down for tax evasion. It’s a dynamite tale, about as tall as they get, and one that has no shortage of drama. Why else would Scorcese et al get involved? More though, it’s the kinda story that reveals more about ourselves and our origins than many a mere history ever could, no matter how factually written. Medford Press originally published Boardwalk Empire back in 2002, and parent company Plexus has just dropped a TV tie-in that includes a Terence Winter forward, a new afterword by the author, and a slew of color photos that’ll put you right back into the time. While you’re though you’d be wise to get your mitts on J. Louis Yamplowsky’s A Boardwalk Story, a novel set in the waning days of The Great Depression. Unlike Empire, this Story is centered around “a reclusive mystic, and a charismatic pitchman and mathematical savant,” rather than the gangsters and machine bosses that concern HBO. Taken in tandem however, they represent a once-upon-a-time that was, simply, unlike any other ever. See you on the Boardwalk, baby!
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 23
Style
TIBI
FASHION
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2011 Killer Ready-To-Wear Collections By Jennifer Fragoso (jennifer@sunpostweekly.com) Ready-To-Wear is alive and well under the tents at Lincoln Center. Every show emits a different vibe but the overall theme is easy, breezy with pops of color. Oceanic blue hues are a big trend and lightweight leathers and leather trim abound. Here are some of the collections that stood out. Rebecca Taylor gave us soft, flattering looks on a scalloped runway painted a high gloss ballet pink. Think soft, flirty pieces, cool prints with just a hint of 70’s “flare” going on in pants and denim. From mirror silk t-shirts and tops to pin-dot chiffon and python printed canvas this collection was a lot of fun to watch. Here are three prominent pieces from the collection. A deceptively sweet looking cherry pindot silk micro pleat midi dress called the Anais, a cool looking cadmium orange canvas trench with python trim called the Nicole and the alternative to the typical LBD the slate grey Renee mirrored cross back ankle-length dress. Rebecca Minkoff pays tribute to feminine wanderlust by creating a collection for the rocker in all of us. Her S/S 2011 collection of ready-to-wear, handbags and shoes is an eclectic combination of textures. From pearlized leather (yum), to silk and linen to another favorite, metal chain detailing, this collection is balanced and totally wearable. Relaxed trousers and shorts combined with subtly tailored jackets and edgy accessories make these looks seem effortlessly chic. Imagine missing your “wake up” call and having to dart off to the airport in a huff having Kate Moss’s closet at your disposal. Your predicament certainly seems less perilous now doesn’t it! Rebecca Minkoff’s S/S 2011 has elements everyone should bring incorporate into their repertoire. The collection seemed to be carried in by the tide at the Tracy Reese S/S 2011 show. Think The Birth of Venus by Botticelli and you are almost there. From the Emilia, an alabaster back out dress, at the top of the show to the Lily, an army blue floral embellished slip, the show was a delightful celebration of the female form with surprising textures, treatments and embellishments. The Lindsey H. was another standout look. A bright navy pea coat made of raffia paired with a black pom pom beaded shell and rose carthane flares came off both poised and polished as did the entire collection. The view from the front row at Tibi was delicious. Every detail shone through. From cut to construction this collection was a cohesive mix of separates and lovely little dresses. The structured sleeve details, laser cut fabric, crochet, leather and suede bring a tactile element to this classic collection making it both fresh and modern.
TRACY REESE
REBECCA TAYLOR REBECCA TAYLOR
TIBI REBECCA MINKOFF
Page 24 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
TRACY REESE
FASHION
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2011 Custo Barcelona Lights Up Lincoln Center By Jennifer Fragoso (jennifer@sunpostweekly.com) Miamians never shy away from color and neither does Custo Barcelona. Known for printed t-shirts and tops the line has evolved from its inception into a full collection or rather a way of life. The Custo Barcelona client revels in mixing bold graphic prints to create a balanced look. That’s right –balanced. There is an art to pattern mixing and Custo Barcelona perfects the art with its use of color, texture and print while allowing the client to have fun and take a risk without sacrificing form or function. The Spring Summer 2011 Collection entitled Fiction and Reality evokes the same spirit, veering towards a cacophonous result yet achieving a symphonic conclusion. The collection, “proposes the fusion of a dichotomy: ornamentation versus functionality.” Two terms that so rarely go together in fashion seem to melt into one another as the models took to the catwalk this past Sunday. One model after another wearing the most glorious jackets, dresses and car coats adorned with feathers, luminous embroidery and hints of neon to spice up the overall nude, honey, turquoise and aquamarine palette paired with the most perfectly tailored flair leg pants you’ve seen since the 70’s. The program states, “The collection is an ode to geometry, where the pieces are created by the surprising mix among forms, empty space and color,” going on to call the collection “quintessential Custo.” However this spectator would venture to take that statement one step further and call the collection essential Custo. Designer Custo Dalmau nailed it. From concept to execution this carefully thought out women’s and men’s collection had you at hello. Starting the show with a club mix of a Paul Young’s classic, “Come Back and Stay” to the kaleidoscope like finale filled with the multitude of hues and embellishments that make this collection a true standout. Custo Barcelona is available in the Bal Harbour Shops, 9700 Collins Ave # 226 Bal Harbour, FL 331542217 - (305) 864-0426 Call the store S/S 2011 delivery dates.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 25
Sex COLUMN
Erogenous Entertainment By Dr. Sonjia Kenya
Sonjia@drsonjia.com
HOW DO YOU SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE? Anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship knows the bedroom gets boring. Some ladies linger in lingerie to seduce their special someone. Many men lure their lady by committing cash towards a great gift or romantic restaurant. X-rated movies have become an increasingly popular way to instigate intimate action. Others relish in role-playing while some couples swing into a saucier sex scene by including others in their intercourse. Mundane monogamy means a messy mishap, like infidelity, is likely to occur. Although exciting intimacy is advertised everywhere, some of you are blushing because your bedroom tactics are basically blah. I found most Miamians don’t even feel comfortable talking about tricks to turn on their lover. Either Miami is full of dull duds who make no effort to motivate their mate or those I interviewed were too stigmatized by their partner’s presence to say their sex life was less than spectacular. At Mercadito’s in midtown, I asked an unmarried couple whether they did anything special to keep sex satisfying. Speechless, she seemed scared and stared at me in silence. He, on the other hand, expressed interest and looked at me with a curious glint that kept the conversation going. After promising his woman I wouldn’t bite, I asked, “Do you ever dress up for each other, explore explicit films, give nude massages?” She looked a little listless and told me they’d been together longer than three years yet only dressed in costumes for their annual Halloween party. This year they would be Frankenstein and his bride. Now that’s sexy, right? Most Miamians I approached were couples which apparently injured their ability to annunciate anything about intercourse. With their partner present, none did more than mumble meaninglessly and each abstained from admitting anything that might indicate unsatisfied erotic urges existed. Understanding the awkward dynamic of dishing details about the deed to a stranger, I decided to call a few of my faraway friends for feedback. Luckily my crew craves climaxes and considers stimulating sex
a real important requirement for romantic relationships. A pretty paralegal in San Francisco seemed unfazed as she expressed ideas about enhancing the excitement of intercourse. “My fiancé and I go to Club Kiss. It’s kind of a swingers club but it’s female-centric and he likes to watch me with other women.” Do either of you get jealous? “No. But we have an agreement. Neither of us can have sex with someone else. He would die if another penis came anywhere near me, so that never happens. He wants to have a threesome with another woman and I told him that would be fine as long as we can have a threesome with another man. He’s pretty paranoid about another penis coming close to him so we haven’t done either. But going to the club does motivate magnificent magic between us.” She’s not the only one getting freaky in the club. My blonde girlfriend with a big smile and bootylicious behind told me she gets bold in the club. An advocate for adventure, she described taking her man to the club to energize their erogenous urges. Once they’re excited, she leads him outside to an alley, or anywhere away from the crowd, and initiates some passionate action. Then she strolls over to the sex store with him and selects a traveling toy. On the ride home, she straddles the toy and starts instigating the next session. By the time home is in sight, they’re usually too excited to enter before he enters her. She said, “All my ex-boyfriends still call me for sex. Most are married but begging me to get busy with them again. I wish I could tell their wives to get wise and invest some effort into helping them rise.” O.K. I admit it. She wasn’t quite that poetic so I re-phrased her words to get the point across. Actually, she was raunchy and rude, which appears to be exactly what her ex-lovers are asking for. My gay best friend also indicated this was the way to go, especially when in a relationship. After telling me he and his man celebrated their anniversary by swinging with another couple, he showed off his new bedroom swing. The leather seat was strong enough for two, hung from four different
Page 26 • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
poles, and could be easily arranged in an array of adventurous angles. Why did he buy it? “I got it to practice playing in new positions. One should invest in their sex life. It’s either interesting or it’s over. Why do you think divorce rates are so high?” Now reader, rarely do I discuss details of my personal life with you. But I think we’ve developed a deep bond and am making an exception in this article. (Note to all my colleagues at the University: NOW is a good time to STOP reading.) After my parents got divorced, Dad’s behavior motivated Mom to begin a business called Divorce with Dignity. Being raised in the business, I learned that dissatisfaction with doing the deed often leads to a depressing divorce. Lots of couples call it quits because they’re not attracted to their spouse anymore and want to bang someone new. Observing this as an adolescent encouraged my interest in intimacy and sex. I wasn’t even approaching the legal age for marriage, but already determined to avoid divorce. As a girl with no experience in intercourse, I started studying strategies to sustain sensual satisfaction. I learned, and eventually accepted, that everyone imagines experiencing someone else other than their mate. So how lucky is my man? Well, in the last three weeks, I’ve arranged for him to have sex with Betty, Starra, and a hippie-chick named Karma. I also took him to a burlesque club, purchased pole-dancing lessons and invested in plenty of tantalizing toys. Before your mouth drops any wider, let me explain how the events transpired. First, a bunch of wigs arrived at my apartment. Next, I spent the evening trying on my new looks, naming my characters, and creating costumes. Betty was the first-born. Something like a 1950’s pin-up girl with hair styled into a short, black bob. Making her initial appearance on a Saturday afternoon, Lawman almost lost it before he even touched her. He took pictures with his Iphone and Betty feigned amazement at the advanced technology. Bright red lips and ruffles ripped through Lawman’s ability to abstain and he was having an affair with Betty before I could butt in. While we were in Jamaica, Lawman met Starra. She had a big brown afro and wore a knit bikini embellished with the Jamaican flag. Starra was a dance hall girl whom he encountered at the jerk chicken stand. She wooed him by waving her hips and he immediately attempted to pleasure her so he could get inside before I came back. Lawman was introduced to Karma last Sunday. With curly red hair that dangled to her waist, she showed up nude as her lavish curls swung slightly against her breasts. A holistic healer, Karma insisted on balancing his chakras with a special love potion and then massaged each of Lawman’s limbs while lying against his groin. He got so carried away, he asked Karma to make an appointment with his fi-
710 Liq
Beer, Win ancé, Sonjia. We looked at each other, laughed at the irony, and finally Karma said yes. The night before, we went to Miami’s newest burlesque club, La Fee Verte in Normandy Isle. Sipping absinthe, we understood why Van Gogh cut his ear off while drinking this over-proof, mind-dazzling liquor. The ladies were talented and entertained us with acrobatic, erotic dances designed to entice. It was more intimate than a strip club and more seductive than any stripper. I was almost inspired to pull myself up a pole, but remembered that required underwear which was conveniently absent from my outfit. With heads overblown from absinthe, our sexual appetite was exhausted when we arrived home. But Karma was born the following day and inspired to apply quite a few lessons learned at La Fete Verte. Like most ladies, I don’t always feel sexy or want to have sex. But when I get into character, I lose myself and start to feel like a sultry seductress. This is good because seducing my man is exactly what I’m trying to do. And if you’ll indulge my bragging, I’d like to boast that my private performances have earned critical acclaim. The rewards have been awesome and allowed more time to execute my erotic image. Dishes magically make it to the dishwasher, windows I can’t reach are cleaned without asking, and full-body massages from my man are now an everyday indulgence. I tell you, these prizes turn me on and inspire more ideas to tempt my man. Great sex is all about feeling free to let go and linger in the moment. When I’m obsessed with all I have to do, I am less likely to explore entertaining ways to excite him. But when Lawman shows appreciation by decreasing my to-do list, his world gets wet with his wildest fantasies. What’s the best part? When I asked Lawman who he likes best between Betty, Starra, and Karma. He looked at me with loving eyes, and said,” I prefer Sonjia.”
W
P R I VAT E
summer Tutoring
in uors SPANISH
Babies to Teens
LOCK & KEY CO., INC. www.yorklock.com LR0031
ne, Spirits
WE DELIVER Daily + Weekends
In Your Home
786.768.3125 PAULA QUINCENO REFERENCES AVAILABLE privatespanishlessonforkids@hotmail.com
Your Electronic Bridge to Physical Security • Expert Locksmith Service • Electronic Access Control • Intercom • Telephone Entry • CCTV • Safes • High Security Locks
1554 Alton Road - Miami Beach Fon: (305) 672-5622 Fax: (305) 672-0301
Classifieds HELP WANTED VACANCIES A Leading Company in the manufacturing of arts & galleries components requires suitably qualified candidates GENERAL REQUIREMENTS: Computer Proficiency in relevant software AGE: 18 years and above EXPERIENCE: Not less than a year in a similar position EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION: Some Colledge / BSC in a related discipline Marketing Manager: In addition to general requirements, candidates must be a holder of an MBA. Have ability to work on a spread sheets Production & Operations Manager: In addition to general requirements, minimum of 2 years experience in an art and galleries firm Admin / Account officer: See general requirement Marketing Executive: See general requirement Stores Officer: See general requirement Secretary/Personal Assistant to CEO: See general requirement. Some accounting and admin background with ability to create spread sheet is a requirement Applicant should within 2 weeks of this publication, forward application letters and resume indicating post applied for to : shauncarter16@rocketmail.com
FOR SALE ADVERTISE IN THE CLASSIFIED SECTION CALL: 305.482.1785 GREAT SUMMER RATES!
FOR SALE Bellini Nursery Set Annie Crib, Jessica 3 - draw Dresser Dutalier Rocking Chair Natural finish. Great condition. $600 obo Call 786-955-8074
HELP WANTED Seeking individuals to work as Secretary/Bookkeeping/Accounts/Mail dispatcher/PayRoll Specialist Clerk,Typist and sale rep. qualification,verbal/written comm skills, extremely organized.Interested candidate should contact wardroman@hotmail.com
HELP WANTED ADVERTISE IN THE CLASSIFIED SECTION CALL: 305.482.1785 GREAT SUMMER RATES!
HELP WANTED WE ARE SEEKING PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS TO SHOP AND GET PAID.
You will be paid for what you love doing at [should be during] your leisure hours. MYSTERY SHOPPING is a well established industry used by thousands of top retail and food service companies. Virtually every top retailer in the nation uses shoppers like YOU to help them test out. Interested applicant should contact the hiring manager via email: jmarketshopper@aol.com
FOR HIRE PRIVATE SUMMER TUTORING in Spanish Language Babies to Teens Daily + Weekends in Your Home
786-768-3125 PAULA QUINCENO REFERENCES AVAILABLE privatespanishlessonforkids@ hotmail.com
FOR HIRE EXPERIENCED NURSES AID ASSISTANT NEEDS POSITION TO CARE FOR (ONE OR ANY) ELDERLY
CALL 786-318-7749 (DAY ONLY LIVE-OUT)
HELP WANTED PT/FT CASHIERS & RECEIPT CLERK NEEDED we are seeking for a sales receipt, account rep as to work as our cashier's representative on parttime/full time job basis, the job is suitable for a trustworthy and very humble applicant and must be over 20 yrs of age. If you are interested and need more information. send resume to petersmth112@gmail.com
OPEN FOR BIDS THE HAPPY KIDS CHILDCARE, INC. INVITES FOOD SERVICE VENDORS TO SUBMIT SEALED BIDS FOR PROVIDING FOOD SERVICE FOR ITS TWO DAY CARE CENTERS. SPECIFICATIONS AND PROPOSALS MAY BE OBTAINED AT THE ADDRESS BELOW ON SEPTEMBER 9TH, 2010 FROM 8.00 AM UNTIL 4.00 PM. SEALED BIDS WILL BE RECEIVED BY HAPPY KIDS CHILDCARE, INC. LOCATED AT 7118 BYRON AVENUE MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA 33141 UNTIL TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 28TH, 2010 AT 10.30 AM. BIDS WILL BE OPENED ON SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2010 AT 10.00 AM WITH AWARD TO BE MADE ON OR ABOUT SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2010 AT 1.30 PM. THE AWARD IS MADE PENDING APPROVAL BY THE FLORIDA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, BUREAU OF CHILD NUTRITION PROGRAMS.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, September 16, 2010 • Page 27
Sick of the Gym? Get a refreshing workout in the water with the gear the navy seals use*
THE EVOLUTION OF FITNESS
RESISTANCE, STRETCHING CARDIO AND PYLOMETRICS WATER PILATES, BOXING, YOGA, MARTIAL ARTS AND CROSS TRAINING
786.220.1799 www.aquafitmiami.com
PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINING IN YOUR POOL * We do not use any foam buoyancy equipment