2010.08.26

Page 1

The Story Matters

Mayhem p.4 Bubble, Bubbles, and More Bubbles...Bubble Raft a New Group Show at the Dorsch Gallery in Wynwood Opens This Wednesday.

Vol. XXV No. 32

August 26, 2010

Visit us at sunpostweekly.com

PERSONAL PICASSO National Arts Program Encourages City Employees to Find Their Inner Artists MAYHEM P.4

POLITICS P. 6

CALENDAR P.14

FILM P. 18

BOUND P. 19

411 P.20

GO! P. 23

SEX P.24

SEE PAGE 10

FASHION P. 26

Letters

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com

Miami Beach High Football Team is Not Forgotten!

SOCIETY EDITOR Jeannette Stark jeannette@sunpostweekly.com

Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stuart Davidson stuart@sunpostweekly.com

COPY EDITOR Mary Louise English

To the Editor:

PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER

ACCOUNTING Sandie Friedman

For the past 75 years, Miami Beach High School football team plays all their games at the football stadium in Flamingo Park, Miami Beach. NOT Maurice Gibb Memorial Park. The football stadium has already been funded and a master plan approved to undergo a $1.2M renovation. This renovation includes an $800,000 artificial turf field. So where the hell do you get off saying the football team is "forgotten". Also the article leaves out an important fact, the cost of the high school renovation. I believe it is $80 million. I think instead you should have wrote about the absurdity of spending $80M. Also, I visited the high school today and there are no pot holes in the field in the back yard. Also the new $164k field will only be a practice field, no games will ever be played there.

Gayle Durham Miami Beach

CALENDAR EDITOR Jake Orsinni calendar@sunpostweekly.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jeffrey Bradley Charles Branham-Bailey Stuart Davidson Marguerite Gil Mary Louise English Jennifer Fragoso John Hood Dr. Sonjia Kenya Ruben Rosario Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Michael Sasser Kim Steiner

SALES DIRECTORS Jeannette Stark Manny Duran Gustavo Abdelnour PUBLISHER EMERITUS Felix Stark (1929-1995) WEB SITE sunpostweekly.com PRODUCTION Blue Studio MAILING ADDRESS

WE WELCOME LETTERS TO THE EDITOR FROM OUR READERS FOR PUBLICATION. IF YOUR LETTER IS PUBLISHED, PERSONAL INFORMATION IS FOR VERIFICATION PURPOSES ONLY. ONLY THE AUTHOR’S NAME AND HOMETOWN WILL BE PUBLISHED. PLEASE KEEP YOUR LETTER TO 300 WORDS OR LESS. EMAIL LETTERS TO: LETTERS@SUNPOSTWEEKLY.COM, GO ONLINE AT SUNPOSTWEEKLY.COM OR MAIL THEM TO P.O. BOX 191870, MIAMI BEACH, FL 33119

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Stuart Davidson Jennifer Fragoso Marguerite Gil Ines Hegedus-Garcia Jipsy Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Mitchell Zachs

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FOR ADVERTISING & RATE INFO: Please call 305.482.1785 or email kim@sunpostweekly.com SUBSCRIPTIONS First class mailing subscriptions are available at $150 per year. Call 305.538.9797. Copyright: The entire contents of SunPost are copyright 2010 by SunPost Media Inc. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means including electronic media without the express written consent of the publisher. Covering Miami Beach, North Bay Village, Surfside, Bay Harbor Islands, Bal Harbour, Sunny Isles Beach, North Miami, North Miami Beach and Aventura, Coconut Grove, Brickell Avenue, Downtown, Design District, Wynwood, Upper Eastside, and Miami Shores.

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Tropical Mayhem BITS AND PIECES OF MIAMI LIFE

Bewitching

Miami through my iphone

Blahnik Boots The boot of the season is the Kahika, lace-up, cutout, boot from the shoe guru himself, Manolo Blahnik. Fabulous black suede flowers cascade down your legs in an homage to the sixties, victoriana and a nod to the eighties. Smashing! These lust worthy boots lace up the front as they walk you to the center of attention. 4” heel. Made in Italy. $1,445.00. From Neiman Marcus, Bal Harbour Shops or neimanmarcus.com.

Bubbles, Bubbles, Everywhere! Head to the opening reception of Bubble Raft, a new group exhibit at the Dorsch Gallery focusing on the bubble in sculpture and paintings. Live music by Boise Bob and His Backyard Band, Dino Felipe, Pocket of Lollipops, Viking Funeral and Otto von Schirach. Featuring works by: Bhakti Baxter, Christopher Bradley, Bruce Conkle, Robin Griffiths, Richard Haden, Jay Hines, Brookhart Jonquil, Sinisa Kukec, Justin H. Long, David Marsh, Daniel Nevers, Daniel Newman, Matt Nichols, Brandon Opalka, Cheryl Pope, Ralph Provisero, Carlos Rigau, Audrey Hasen Russell, David Shaw, Shoplifter, Magnus Sigurdarson, sleeper, TooT and Kyle Trowbridge. Wednesday Sept. 1, 7-10pm. through Oct. 2nd. Dorsch Gallery, 151 NW 24 St. Miami.

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MIAMI ART by Ines Hegedus-Garcia - miamism.com - ines@miamism.com There IS Miami Art beyond Romero Britto, I promise! The Four Seasons Hotel on Brickell has two amazing and ginormous bronze sculptures by Colombian artist Fernando Botero. Of course these happen to be located "inside" the lobby which leaves a question about art in public places in Miami. Hmmm, could it be a vandalism issue?

MIAMI, SPEAK YOUR MIND! We welcome submissions to Tropical Mayhem. To get your business or item considered for publication, email a hi-res photograph (300dpi) and a description to kim@miamisunpost.com.

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PHOTO: MAGICAL PHOTOS/MITCHELL ZACKS

PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY YOU SHOULD KNOW

Jeffrey Landsman The Man Behind the Piano Bar Compiled By Kim Steiner

Who are you? I am the person who people think I am. A son – A Restaurant Owner What do you do in real life? I try to do good things. How long have you been in Miami? When I graduated from University of Maryland I moved down. What did you do before Magnum? Jeffrey’s Restaurant, owner. Festival Restaurant, waiter. Vinton’s, waiter.

What is the essence of Magnum? Upscale. No attitude. Piano bar/restaurant and lounge. What do you like most about what you do? I help people to have fun and be happy. What do you do when you are not working? When you own your own business, you are always working. Something new that you have just discovered about yourself? If you truly want to feel and look better, eat and drink less. Rest and go to the gym.

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One luxury that you cannot live without? Being close to the sea. Favorite Restaurant? Low-key local spots. Three Words to describe you? A great guy. So what’s next for you? The Magnum is constantly evolving and to be part of it is all that one needs. I feel that I have duplicated the true essence of a piano bar with a wonderful restaurant. It is a very delicate formula; I thank myself for understanding what is needed. But I thank my employees for truly making it all happen.

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Politics COLUMN

How Do You Like Me Now? By Jeffrey Bradley

“Those are my principles and if you don’t like them—well, I have others.” —Groucho Marx magine our surprise when we found 41st Street all but deserted one recent mid-afternoon and could actually stroll across it absent the usual honking cacophony that’s so helpful in making us sprint (remember, the light changes about 7 seconds in, so step lively and don’t mind the snarls of the drivers as they rush past on their way to the next traffic light). Then we remembered <a smack of the palm to the forehead> the president was in town! Say, this was great… maybe if we asked him he’d deliver our part of the stimulus package and clear up the roads again! A man in a rush, this president visited us for all of three hours to pick up a $700,000 check for the Florida Democratic Party, and two corned-beef sandwiches from Jerry’s Famous Deli down on South Beach. Now, we’re not complaining that Jerry’s is expensive—he is Famous—but if the president ordered some biggie fries and supersized his cokes, we bet he barely escaped with change from that $700K. At least he got it to go. Taking a tip from the Seventeenth Street Irregulars (our spies, cohorts and contraband) we bypassed the Fontainebleau and headed straight to Jerry’s for a photo op. Good thing, too. We reckoned that getting near the anointed one would be dicey, but we had no idea. We couldn’t pretend we were slumming—our Izods were in the wash—and we didn’t have the requisite ten thousand bucks to get our pictures snapped with the prez, so we did the next best thing. We marshaled the Irregulars into a flying wedge, a modern-day Spartan 300 driving on the potentate Xerxes, seeking to gain by blitzkrieg that all-important picture. Riding high on the stoutest Irregular shoulders and brandishing our phone overhead, we moved into range… only to be brought up short by a news-hen, a bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, determinedly standing her ground and brandishing her microphone most menacingly. Backed by a hulking cameraman who seemed on the verge of flanking us, our suddenly wary troops deposited us gently onto the pavement. “Are you with his people?” she gushed, tilting her

I

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head Obama’s way. “Or are you…” her voice dropped as she near spat the word—“Republicans?” Good Ford! We held up both hands, as if to ward off evil. But our dithering was costing our 6second soundbite, so we stumblingly offered “Leonidas?”, then “The Immortals?” But when even “Thermopylae” itself elicited the same blank stare—and when we saw some TV-types revving the crowd up for some mindless emoting into the panning camera, we knew, for us, the game was up. But as she swung toward the agitated crowd (”Hey, we’re gonna be on TV, Snooky!”), we sprang forward. “Wha—?” She thought she’d already dismissed us. “We always wanted to do this,” we told her. And looking straight into the camera, we waved an arm while slowly mouthing the words HI MOM! Which was as close as we ever came to having our picture taken with the President of the United States. It wasn’t until much, much later that we realized the phone we’d been brandishing didn’t take pictures at all, but just went rinnnng, rinnnnnggg! Still, somebody was missing from the impromptu crowd: no less than the unfortunatelynamed Alex Sink, Democratic candidate for governor of Florida. Now, we don’t want to make the analogy that if you throw a birthday party in your house and your own mother doesn’t bother to show up then something’s seriously wrong, still, there it is. Apparently Ms Sink—as in sunk—had important business elsewhere, like locking up the elderly vote in the Home by the Sea in Hallandale; important business (“bidness”, as Mr Meek calls it) indeed, and an outstanding display of confidence in the president’s policies. In fact, by the time Obama cleared 41st Street, she had long-since left town. Still, he put his best foot forward: “Alex knows what it takes to change business in Tallahassee, and she’s not afraid to take on the status quo”—or run from it, apparently. She later did thank Obama—from afar—for coming to Florida and vacationing recently on the Gulf Coast. We believe she also alluded to his playing golf, which may or may not account for the president’s approval ratings sinking like a stone or the skepticism aimed at his economic recovery package. That oughtta earn her a Come Back Soon! acknowledgement card from the White House. Nevermind. There’s always Kendrick.

Obama praised candidate Kendrick Meek as “a champion of middle-class families and someone who is not afraid to stand up to special interests,” but if this seems faintly damning, well, Kendrick did endorse Hillary Clinton in 2008. Owch! Plus he’s been implicated in dealings with a Miami developer charged with massive fraud, his mother’s a lobbyist and one of his strongest supporters is disbarred judge Alcee Hastings who departed the bench in disgrace after embroilment in a bribery sting. No wonder Kendrick’s had trouble staying on message! The irony is, Obama’s support will probably tip the balance to Meek’s rival Jeff Greene—who’s roundly shunned by the Democratic establishment. As for the Republicans—why do they all seem to part their hair the same way and wear owlish glasses that make them look like a bunch of George Wills?— we never did trust people who pronounce ‘nuclear’ nuke-ler, or ‘America’ Amurica. Besides, some guy named Undecided seems poised to win in a runaway. Sink also took a step away from the Angry Left when she personally opposed the construction of the Ground Zero Mosque, in keeping with the mounting criticism that’s deservedly driving this execrable idea further from reality with every roll of the earth. (Sink moderating her image on this is about as an emphatic repudiation of your party’s policies as you can get without shouting it from the rafters.) That this mosque would be insensitive to the victims’ families pales before what’s truly at stake: whether to allow the raising of a fundamentalist monument to the mass murder of 3000 Americans! Which leads directly to the question if Obama is a Moslem. Actually, there is no question. He is. If your father was a Moslem, then you are. (Listen, we didn’t write the rules, Gertrude. If you don’t believe us, look it up.) Worse, to Moslems, is denying your faith, like Obama does. This makes him an apostate, far worse then being an adulterer… and unless you’ve been on Mars, you know how the Moslems punish that. But, so what? If the man claims to be Christian and practices Christianity then, for all intents and purposes, he is. (Which most decidedly does not mean that he’s not a Moslem.) What we decry is the rank ignorance of a society that makes a man feel that it’s better to deny than to accept. Yet, the fact the president does defend the religious rights of Moslems in building that mosque, along with other iffy actions, lends credence to the perception of his being a Manchurian Candidate. Which is helped not a whit by his rants. His telling the Fontainebleau crowd that “It took us close to a decade to dig ourselves into this hole; it’s going to take some time to dig ourselves out”, was a disgrace. Never once did Bush blame Clinton for rolling over when he could’ve taken Osama Bin Laden out. It’s always better to cowboy up than to weenie out.

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COVER STORY

ANAELY DELGADO, UNTITLED

PERSONAL

PICASSO National Arts Program Encourages City Employees to Find Their Inner Artists Written by Michael W. Sasser

table. “It seems to be that as a rule, public art is pretty lame,” said one frequent city hall guest who did not want to be identified. “It’s kind of like NEA grants. Public art is for art not good or interesting enough to real people to make it in the private sector. I think most people know that. They just wouldn’t say anything about it because it isn’t politically expedient.” But the current exhibition took even this jaded insider by surprise – in a good way. “Nice stuff, interesting,” he said. Jeanne Brower felt the same way when she had to drop off a letter at city hall for her employer this week. “I noticed one photograph that was really cool,

vides City employees and family members with a rare opportunity to exhibit their original works publicly and to compete for $2,400 cash prizes and five continuing art education scholarships. The exhibit is sponsored by the National Arts Program Foundation, with support and cooperation by the Miami Beach Cultural Arts Council and the City of Miami Beach. “I came across the program by chance about five years ago,” said Miami Beach Cultural Affairs Program Manager Gary Farmer. “They sponsor similar arts contests in the U.S. for municipalities and large non profit organizations. They’re really nice people.” This is the fifth year that the National Arts Program has sponsored the program for Miami Beach city employees. The Foundation provides virtually all materials and the structural framework for the program, Farmer said. Every year the city’s primary re-

year through November 18 – and that the city’s leadership attended the awards program last week. Jackie Szafara, executive director of the National Arts Program Foundation, said that the entire concept stemmed from its two business associate founders, who wanted to help prompt people to explore their inner artists. Municipalities made logical partners since public employees generally have plenty of free time. The program has also targeted hospitals and airports. “It started in 1985 and we’ve been growing every year,” Szafara said. “We have 90 shows now in 45 states.” Through the program, Szafara said, employees learn about whole

then I looked around and there was a whole exhibit of interesting work,” Brower said. “It was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know how many talented artists were around here.” Brower wasn’t demeaning the work of the region’s serious or professional artists, or even taking an easy shot at art brands disguised as real artists but that are really just garish moneymaking machines. The “artists around here” to whom Brower referred are, instead, City of Miami Beach employees; and the current fourth floor exhibit a showing of artwork in different mediums from city workers in numerous departments. The occasion is the exhibition component of the National Arts Program. The annual program pro-

sponsibility is to help promote the program among its employees and to line up a jury of art professionals to grade each entry in the competition. Farmer then averages out the scores to determine winners in several categories and tiers of expertise (Amateur, Intermediate and Professional). The competition is open to city employees and their families, so there are both adult and youth categories. “We had submissions from 64 artists with about 110 total pieces of work,” Farmer said. “We have always gotten a very strong response from employees. The numbers vary a little from year to year. Last year we actually had 10-20 percent more participation. This time of year, a lot of people are on vacation.” Farmer said that participants are pleased that all of the works of art get displayed at city hall – this

ABOVE: BEST OF SHOW. ANAELY DELGADO, UNTITLED.

egular visitors to Miami Beach City Hall are accustomed to fourth floor art exhibits as standard practice – and as routinely forget-

R

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torial assistant, Bass Museum of Art; Jeremy Chestler, director, ArtCenter South Florida; Matthew Tumbleson, graphic designer, Brand Miami; Roman Fernandez, artistic director & president, Left Field. Hugely supportive of the program are ArtCenter and the Bass Museum of Art, providing scholarships to help budding artists explore their creative sides. Sharon Saballos, a 22-year veteran property and evidence technician for the Miami Beach Police Department is well acquainted with the program and its benefits. Her son won first place in the teen category the first time he entered three years ago. With gift certificated awarded through the competition,

“There is a lot of hidden talent amongst the Miami Beach family and this program is a wonderful opportunity for them to showcase their artistic talent in a publicexhibition” — Miami Beach Cultural Affairs Program Manager Gary Farmer

ARTIST ANAELY DELGADO.

new dimensions of the people with whom they work every day. “It’s important that these are not just art shows and competitions – all of the artwork has to be displayed in public for at least two weeks,” Szafara added. “In a lot of competitions, only the winning work is every exhibited.” “There is a lot of hidden talent amongst the Miami Beach family and this program is a wonderful opportunity for them to showcase their artistic talent in a public exhibition,” Farmer said. Judges this year included Dennis Tejedor, cura-

Sharon has learned how to use her digital camera with the same skill with which she used her 35 mm camera. She has also learned beadwork and now crafts bead jewelry that is in demand from friends and fellow employees. “Who knew?” Saballos said. “I just wear it and people end up asking me to make something for them.” The program has brought Saballos’s family together, she said. “My whole family loves photography, and it has been something that my son and I have done to-

gether,” Saballos said. That class in digital photography worked out well for Saballos. She took many images while on a vacation in Costa Rica. One of those images, “Tropical Rainforest” earned Sharon first place in the adult amateur category of this year’s competition. “It was great,” Saballos said. “Everyone was at the event and so many people came up to congratulate the winners. Everyone was very excited. It isn’t one of those things that make people jealous. People are so supportive and are so good natured about it.” Saballos said that her son, now 18, remains intrigued with photography and is already planning on next year’s program. “I recommend the program to other people,” Saballos said. “It opens things up for you – enables you to do what you want to do.” “Miami Beach is a great example of what our show is doing across the country,” Szafara said. “We hope in the future that the National Arts Program continues to thrive here.”

WINNERS, MIAMI BEACH NATIONAL ART PROGRAM 2010 BEST OF SHOW $300: ANAELY DELGADO “UNTITLED” (PHOTOGRAPHY) ADULT FIRST PLACE: $300 AMATEUR: SHARON SABALLOS “TROPICAL RAINFOREST” (PHOTOGRAPHY) INTERMEDIATE: KAREN CASTILBLANCO-ORSORNO “STAGES IN LIFE” (PHOTOGRAPHY) PROFESSIONAL: ROSIE BROWN “PARADISE FOUND”

ABOVE: DAVID GILLESPIE, SEVEN ROSES. LEFT: GRACE HOWARD DE CASTILLO, THE TOMATOE. BELOW LEFT: CLAUDIA NEWMAN, ON THE BEACH. BELOW RIGHT: LUCI MEYER, RAINBOW SNAIL.

SECOND PLACE: $200 AMATEUR: MICHELLE CULLEN “PAST AND PRESENT” (WORKS ON PAPER) INTERMEDIATE: YIRIS SMITH “BLIND DATE” (CRAFT) PROFESSIONAL: CLAUDIA NEWMAN “ON THE BEACH 2” (PAINTING) THIRD PLACE: $100 AMATEUR: MANNY MARQUEZ “TEN TIL TEN” (PHOTOGRAPHY) INTERMEDIATE: JESCELLE MAJOR “SHAKER REVISITED” (CRAFT) PROFESSIONAL: JED ROYER “SOONER OR LATER, YOUR LIFE ENDS UP HERE” (MIXED MEDIA) YOUTH/TEEN (YOUTH 12 & UNDER, TEEN 13-18) FIRST PLACE: $75 YOUTH: AARON ROSENFELD “ALONE” (WORKS ON PAPER) TEEN: SCOTT MCCONACHIE “CAT IN THE HAT” (WORKS ON PAPER) SECOND PLACE: $50 YOUTH: JACOB ROSENFELD “BRIGHT ABYSS” (WORKS ON PAPER) TEEN: ROBIN MCFARLANE “GIRL IN BLUE SHIRT” (WORKS ON PAPER) THIRD PLACE $25 YOUTH: JOSHUA GRACIE “SUNSET STROLL” (MIXED MEDIA) TEEN: CHRISTINA CANO “LENNON” (WORKS ON PAPER) SCHOLARSHIP WINNERS: MATTEO MLADENOVIC, MEGAN RODRIGUEZ, PATRICIA ARANA AND ROGER ALVAREZ

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Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK

IVETE SANGALO

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SAVE THE DATE:

August 27

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2010

COMEDY Mike Epps

RAIN - A TRIBUTE TO THE BEATLES

Hilarious funnyman, actor and rapper Mike Epps, best known for playing Day-Day in the films Next Friday and Friday After Next will be in town for a comedy run this weekend. 8:30pm. $30. Improv, 3390 Mary St Miami. For info: improv.com

FROM ED SULLIVAN TO ABBEY ROAD! - THEY LOOK LIKE THEM AND THEY SOUND JUST LIKE THEM. ALL THE MUSIC AND VOCALS ARE PERFORMED TOTALLY LIVE. RAIN COVERS THE FAB FOUR FROM THE EARLIEST BEGINNINGS THROUGH THE PSYCHEDELIC LATE 60S AND THEIR LONG-HAIRED HIPPIE, HARD-ROCKING ROOFTOP DAYS. RAIN IS A MULTI-MEDIA, MULTI- DIMENSIONAL EXPERIENCE...A FUSION OF HISTORICAL FOOTAGE AND HILARIOUS TV COMMERCIALS FROM THE ‘60’S LIGHT UP LARGE VIDEO SCREENS. 8PM. $25. - $69. ZIFF BALLET OPERA HOUSE, 1300 BISCAYNE BLVD, MIAMI. FOR INFO: ARSHTCENTER.ORG

August 27 MUSIC Travie McCoy 944 Nightlife issue release party at LIV will feature the fun and funky sounds of Travie McCoy and Graham Funke. DJ will be the ever popular Pea, Will.I.AM. Sounds like a rocking evening. 10pm. LIV Nightclub, 4441 Collins Ave; Miami Beach. For info: livnightclub.com

August 27 FILM Wild Grass At age 87, Alain Resnais creates a playful and often infuriating comedy in Wild Grass, a movie about the impulsive things people do in reaction to something unexpected. Wild Grass will be playing at the Raleigh Hotel ballroom as part of the Miami Beach Cinematheque’s ongoing series. 8pm. $10. Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave; Miami Beach. For info: mbcinema.com

August 28

August 28 DANCE Eras Del Tango Traditional tango merges with modern dance in Eras del Tango. The show features three professional tango couples, each with their individual style, full of seduction and romance, performing group numbers that explode with versatility. The dancers include Jeremias Massera and Mariela Barufaldi, Diego Blanco and Ana Padron and Jerry and Christine Perez. Classic tango songs filled with passion and nostalgia by vocalist Cristina Longo. 5-piece orchestra. 5:30pm. $36-$48. Colony Theatre, 1040 Lincoln Rd; Miami Beach. For info: TangoAxis.com.

August 28 MUSIC Ivete Sangalo

ART Natures Mortes A nature inspired photographic group retropsective is currently on show at Abba Fine Art. Artists exhibiting include Debra Holt, Hugo Lopez, Ricardo Davilla, Aldo Chaparro, Mathais Kessler and Julie Pike. Free. Through September 31. Abba Fine Art, 233 NW 36th St; Miami. For info: abbafineart.com.

August 28 FILM Scene of the Crime HistoryMiami Museum resident historian Dr. Paul George, Rene Ramos and Barron Sherer of the Lynn and Louis Wolfson II Florida Moving Image Archives will screen and discuss television news coverage of crime in Miami. Film clips include footage from the Archives’ local television news collections not seen for decades. 2pm. Free. HistoryMiami, 101 West Flagler Street, Miami. For info: 305-375-1492.

LEFT: COMEDIAN MIKE EPPS. ABOVE: TRAVIE MCCOY AT LIV.

Brought to Miami by the Rhythm Foundation, Brazilian songstress Ivete Sangalo performs live for a one-night only show this Saturday. $45 - $90. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd, Miami. rhythmfoundation.com

August 28 MUSIC ‘80’s Flashback Rock some 80's threads and a mullet at the Tobacco Road 80’s Flashback costume party this Saturday night. There's still time to get a costume. 15 bands on 3 stages play their favorite 80's songs as well as originals and a Michael Jackson birthday tribute at midnight. Glitter those gloves, dance to a mash-up of his best hits and let his incredible music live on. 8pm Tobacco Road, 626 South Miami Ave, Miami. For info: 305.374.1198 or tobaccoroad.com.

August 29 MUSIC Hippiefest It’s far out fun for all ages as Hippiefest rocks the Broward Center with an all-star line-up of iconic rockers including Jack Bruce of Cream, WAR, Rare Earth, Mitch Ryder, and Badfinger featuring Joey Molland. The country’s favorite traveling nostalgia festival lets you come be a hippie for a night as you enjoy the peace, love and music that changed a generation. 7pm. $52.75-83-75. Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 SW 5th Ave; Fort Lauderdale. For info: livenation.com

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Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK

August 29 ART Artistes en Herbes

MEATLOAF

bands in 1980’s Rock. Tears For Fears. Tears for Fears will be performing a dazzling mix of old and new material fitting the band’s brilliant blend of melodic pop and Beatles-tinged psychedelia. $42. - $83.75. 8pm. Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 SW 5th Ave; Fort Lauderdale. For info: www.browardcenter.org

August 31

Artistes en Herbes art exhibit showcases the work and training in visual arts of young artists ages 5 to 11 in the S.L.S. Art Academy. There are lectures, workshops and an accompanying exhibit of oil paintings by Esther P. Zibell, an internationally renowned artists showing in Florida for the first time. Meet the artists at a reception Sunday, Aug 29 from 4:30 to 6:30pm. Free. Miami Beach Botanical Garden, 2000 Convention Center Drive, Miami Beach. For info: 786301-8276 or mbgarden.org

ART Mike Tesch Last few days to see the illustrative painter Mike Tesch Ponderings exhibit. The 71-year-old advertising genius paints single framed comic illustrations with humorous sayings. Through September 7. Kelley Roy Gallery, 50 NE 29 St; Miami. For info: www.kelleyroygallery.com.

August 29 FILM Redwoods Catch a showing of Redwoods at the Wolfsonian this Sunday Afternoon. Set amid the splendor of Northern California’s Russian River, Redwoods tells the story of an unshakeable love and the difficult choices it can force one to make. Everett and Miles have a comfortable relationship. They are raising their learning-challenged son Billy, who absorbs much of their attention. When Miles and Billy go off to visit family, Everett plans to enjoy his time alone; that is, until he meets a lost writer. Co-presented with the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. $10 all others. 4pm. For info: 305.535.2644 or www. wolfsonian.org

September 1 MUSIC Meat Loaf ABOVE: JEREMIAS MASSERA AND MARIELA BARUFALDI OF ERAS DE TANGO. LEFT: TEARS FOR FEARS. BELOW LEFT: ARTWORK BY MIKE TESCH.

We all have fond memories of sitting in a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Show listening to Meatloaf singing his lungs out. Time to relive those memories when the large one himself hits the Hard Rock for a one night show. Opening is Pearl. $54.50 - $77.50. 8pm. Hard Rock, 5747 Seminole Way, Hollywood. For info: livenation.com

August 30 BOOKS Carl Hiaasen Hang with Miami Author, Carl Hiaasen when he does an author reading and book signing at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden. Star Island, Hiaasen’s latest thriller, is a satire on celebrity culture. An actress secretly stands in for a derailed pop star and finds herself stalked on South Beach by a crazed paparazzo – and befriended by an unhinged hermit who was once the governor of Florida. Wine and cheese 7pm. Reading at 8pm. Tickets are required for this event. $15. or tickets are free with purchase of Star Island at Books & Books prior to the event. Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden, 10901 Old Cutler Rd., Coral Gables. For info: booksandbooks.com

August 31 MUSIC Tears for Fears AEG Live and the Broward Center present one of the most successful Page 16 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

FOR KIDS Friday, September 3 Fabulous First Friday FABULOUS FIRST FRIDAY AT THE MIAMI MUSEUM OF SCIENCE IS AN EVENING OF LASER LIGHTS AND STARS. FREE PLANETARIUM STAR SHOW AT 7:30PM AND ROOFTOP OBSERVATORY VIEWING 8:30PM - 10PM. CHECK OUT MIAMI SCIENCE MUSEUM'S FAMOUS LASER SHOWS IN THE PLANETARIUM. LISTEN TO THE BEST OF THE BEATLES, LED ZEPPELIN, BOB MARLEY AND PINK FLOYD: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON WHILE WATCHING AN AWESOME LASER SHOW. $4. MIAMI MUSEUM OF SCIENCE, 3280 S. MIAMI AVE. MIAMI. FOR INFO: MIASCI.COM

www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 17

Cinema REVIEW

Stallone vs. Resnais By Ruben Rosario (ruben@sunpostweekly.com) Ladies aaaaand gentlemen! Welcome to our endof-summer smackdown, where highbrow and lowbrow duke it out for your movie dollar. In the red state corner, coming in at $65.4 million and counting, are the testosterone-fueled escapades of the Botox Patrol, those monosyllabic freedom fighters, give it up for Sylvester Stallone and The ExPEEEENNdables! And in the arthouse corner, rounding out at $340,000 in its domestic take, are the loopy misadventures of some golden-age lovebirds, the nutty antidote to France’s cinema of quality, let’s hear it for Alain Resnais and Wiiiild Grass! All right, gentlemen, I want a clean fight. JeanClaude Van Damme turned down your script, Sly, so there should be no francophone conflict of interest. Monsieur Resnais, you may have helped kickstart the French New Wave with Hiroshima Mon Amour back in 1959, but your fifty-year career means nothing here. What’s that? Sony neglected to screen Wild Grass for

THE EXPENDABLES

the South Florida press and yanked it out of the South Beach Regal Cinemas after just one week? Tough luck; you’re getting a second chance this weekend, so get ready. And…DING DING DING! At the beginning of his disposable piece of eighties nostalgia, Sly and his posse, playing mercenaries Uncle Sam calls in to do the government’s dirty work, descend on a Somalian pirate ship to rescue US hostages. The baddies don’t stand a chance in this sequence, which looks as if Top Gun cinematographer Jeffrey Kimball lit it with fluorescent lamps. So far, Stallone is priming viewers to feel all misty-eyed for the

good old days of Golan-Globus Productions, the production company behind many of those modestly budgeted releases, usually set in Third World countries, that made up in skillful stuntwork and badass attitude what they lacked in polish. (The Delta Force, anyone?) Wait a minute, is that Dolph Lundgren as the loose cannon who refuses to behave like a team player? Merciful heavens, cover up that face, Drago. It hurts to look at you. But I digress. Resnais begins Wild Grass with shots of the titular leaves sprouting through cracks in a concrete sidewalk, but he doesn’t linger on the symbolism for long. Brilliantly using voiceover narration to get into his characters’ innermost thoughts, he initially focuses his attention on flame-haired dentist Marguerite Muir (Sabine Azéma, the director’s wife and longtime muse), whose purse is snatched at a shopping center after she purchases some high heels. Throughout the film, the director keeps coming back to a slow-motion close-up of Marguerite’s bag as the faceless snatcher runs away. We’re in the hands, it soon becomes apparent, of a master storyteller firing on all cylinders. Stallone’s directing style? The word that kept coming to my mind as The Expendables unfolded was lazy. Following a brief glimpse into some of the characters’ lives in between missions, Stallone’s character gets called in by his CIA contact (Bruce Willis), who proposes a hefty payday for flying to a South American island to take out its dictator (Dexter’s David Zayas, displaying all the nuance of a telenovela villain; boy is he bad in this). This scene serves as a mini Planet Hollywood reunion: Arnold Schwarzenegger appears briefly as a competing contractor. Unsure of whether or not to accept what turn out to be One Last Job, he seeks solace from his former colleague (Mickey Rourke), now a New Orleans tattoo artist. Remember what I said about Dolph Lundgren? That goes double for Rourke, who looks even

Page 18 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

WILD GRASS

worse here than he did in The Wrestler! Back to Wild Grass. Marguerite’s purse is found in a parking garage by Georges Palet (André Dussolier, the narrator in Amélie), who opens up her wallet and finds the woman’s aviator license. This strikes a chord with Georges, who, the movie suggests, probably did time behind bars for a violent crime. He then begins to obsess over Marguerite, even after he’s shockingly rude to her on the phone when she calls to thank him for being a Good Samaritan…and even though he appears to be happily married to a woman who’s very understanding. What follows is the most unorthodox stalker tale I have ever seen, Mulholland Drive reimagined as a screwball comedy. You think you know where it’s headed, and then you can almost hear Resnais giggling behind the camera as he takes you in one unexpected direction after another. He directs with a vitality and playful insouciance of a filmmaker half his age. This tale of amour fou of a certain age goes off the rails at the very end, but even if that last scene is a head-scratcher, it’s in keeping with its cheerfully daffy vibe. This is a film to cherish; don’t even think about waiting for the DVD. As for The Expendables, for all its intentions to relive the glory days of Cobra, Invasion U.S.A. and the original Rambo trilogy (you mean Rhinestone doesn’t count?), it feels a lot more like a new-millennium

shoot ‘em up, The A-Team with bigger explosions and a higher body count. When the bad guys get shot, digital blood spurts out of their bodies. The hand-to-hand combat scenes are shot with a minimum of long shots and snipped away into incomprehensibility, so the viewer is often disoriented as to who’s hitting who. Is there anything redeemable in this two-hour pissing contest? Jason Statham has his moments, but then again, it helps that he’s less of an eyesore than his costars. There’s also a well-staged chase sequence at the halfway mark that nevertheless suffers from Jason Bourne envy. And Eric Roberts does some nice scenery-chewing as the drug kingpin pulling the dictator’s strings. I take issue with the film’s defenders, who insist the film delivers the goods. So does a root canal. You might be king of the box office two weeks running, Sly, but in this match you have been knocked out by an 88-year-old at the top of his craft. Back to the retirement home with you; it’s time for your hormones. Wild Grass screens this weekend at the Raleigh Hotel as part of Miami Beach Cinematheque’s “Alain Resnais: Then and Now” series. The Expendables is currently clogging up multiplexes nationwide. This soon shall pass.

WILD GRASS

Art COLUMN

Miquel Paredes does Wynwood By Marguerite Gil

An Opening Night Reception that wowed me and as you know by now…I’m not easily wowed anymore. Paredes Fine Arts Studio invited Miami’s ART VIP’s to attend several openings in Wynwood recently and the hype wasn’t a PR scheme to lure innocent art lovers to yet another boring art show. It was the real thing. Velvet rope, Guest list, DJ, Open Bar and Hot Art.

According to Gino Campodonico who contributes to JUXTAPOZ and Tara Ink: “This New York native (Miguel Paredes) has the energy of the City running through his veins...captures the New York urban landscaped of his youth and …he’s also a master at blending various media and styles. His use of rich graphics, Japanese anime, pop elements, digital art, graffiti and realism combine to form personal narratives that are hip and absorbing.” I have to concur. The description is solid. Wynwood opening nights are packed with an interesting array of artsy community spectators, people who like to check out the galleries on 2nd Saturdays Art Walks rather than sit in front of the ‘boob tube’ or the ‘boob-berry’ and of late, the youthful ones who want to drink for free and

meet other young ones who want to…drink for free. Makes for a formidable mix of Miami culture. After checking out Parades’ works, I was really wowed. His ‘paintings are simultaneously high tech and nostalgic. He takes everyday happenings in his NY area barrios and interweaves his visions with 21st century artistic know-how. That means, copies, stencils, photo reproductions, cartoon cells, classic images AND painting with an old fashion brush and palette. He throws them all into an imaginary food mixer, pours out the results and rearranges everything in order to create ultra fine, fun art, sealed forever with scientific finishes. His colors are intense, his thoughts seem to collide with Internet findings as well as scrape book vintage photos to produce innovative, next wave, bullet-proof (perfect for Miami), art that you’ll want to purchase and hang in your living room. I’m WOWED! Paredes Fine Arts Studio: 2399 NW 2nd Ave. Miami. miguelparedes.com

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ADAMS VETERINARY CLINIC: 672 NE 79 ST, MIAMI • 305.757.7309 www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 19

The 411

John Easterling and Olivia Newton-John

Jeffrey Donovon and Jean-Christophe Babin at the Tag Heuer party at the Temple House

COLUMN

TAG! You’re IT! By Mary Jo Almeida-Shore maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com

Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovon arriving in the Tag Heuer Tessla Roadster to the Tag Huer festivities at the Temple House on South Beach.

Delicious treats were served all night long.

It’s not every day we get to party in a former orthodox synagogue, much less rub elbows with celebs, ogle luxury watches, enjoy premium cocktails and fabulous hors d ’oeuvres, erstwhile entertainers on stilts vie for our attention in said temple. A little on the “unorthodox” side, you might say. Add to that, the fact that we were almost run over by a sports car, being driven by the hunky Burn Notice star, Jeffrey Donovan INSIDE the former temple!!! Well such was the case last Thursday, as TAG Heuer, the stylish Swiss watch brand celebrated its 150th anniversary and paid tribute to its pioneering spirit at an exclusive “Odyssey of Pioneers” private cocktail party and timepiece exhibition at the Temple House on Miami Beach (formerly the 1000 member Kneseth Israel Congregation). Two hundred of Miami’s crème de la crème received the VIP treatment, as they were greeted at the valet stop a few blocks from the Temple House and transported via luxury limo bus to the party. Once inside, the energy inside the room, emanating from the stellar crowd was almost intoxicating (or maybe it was the booze). But one thing’s for sure, the event organizers, The Patton Group and the Vibe Agency, left no stone unturned to ensure the perfect atmosphere for this celebration. Celebs and VIPs being “TAGGED” for our photo gallery, having the “time of their lives” (silly puns intended) included: Jean-Christophe Babin; president and CEO of TAG Heuer; Philippe Alluard, president of LVMH Watch & Jewelry Division, Latin America and the Caribbean; Matt Passmore, Carlos Gomez, Michelle Hurd, stars of The Glades;

Page 20 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

and much to our delight, Olivia Newton John and Jon Secada, who performed earlier this year at the Pink and Blue for Two gala at the Raleigh. (watch the video: miamisocialholic.com) In recognition of TAG Heuer’s 150th anniversary, the brand joined forces with electric sports car company, Tesla Motors Inc., to create the one-of-a-kind TAG Heuer Tesla Roadster. This fully electric, emissions-free car is “outfitted with a Heuer limited-edition one-fifth second stopwatch and a TAG Heuer Meridiist communications device. Additionally, a special console houses the ground-breaking TAG Heuer Pendulum Concept, a timepiece operated by the world’s first magnetic oscillator without a hairspring.” We’re not exactly sure what that means, but we know we love this car, which goes from 0-60 in 3 seconds without emitting a single fume- mean and green. All that, for $100, 000 bucks- we’ll take two! Jeffrey Donovan debuted Roadster at the celebration by driving it across the venue where he was greeted by Jean-Christophe Babin, and Philippe Alluard. Talk about a grand entrance. The TAG Heuer Tesla Roadster has made 12 major stops worldwide, including the Miami stop. In March 2010, TAG Heuer brand ambassador and Academy Award-nominated actor Leonardo DiCaprio kicked off the car’s round-the-world, six-month “Odyssey” in Basel, Switzerland. Since then, the TAG Heuer Tesla Roadster has zipped through Monaco, Milan, Budapest, Warsaw, Moscow, Delhi, Beijing, Shanghai, Tokyo and Los Angeles. Notable drivers of this dream car include: Prince

Shareef Malnik and Michael Gongora Ocean Drive Event at The Forge

Albert, actor Chen Dao Ming, the Maharaja of Jaipur and Maria Sharapova. Following Miami, the TAG Heuer Tesla Roadster will stop in New York, London and end in Paris. At the Odyssey’s completion, the car will have crossed three continents. For more information, visit: odyssey.tagheuer.com.

OCEAN DRIVE MAGAZINE WELCOMES CHRIS BOSH Just before the TAG Heuer event on Thursday night, Ocean Drive Magazine hosted a “Welcome to Miami” reception for Miami Heat power forward Chris Bosh at The Forge Restaurant | Wine Bar. Bosh along with girlfriend Adrienne Williams enjoyed the event requesting Chef Dewey LoSasso’s signature peanut butter and jelly lobster sandwich. The crowd included celebs Jeffrey Donovan and Gabrielle Anwar, Niche Media publisher, Jason Binn, and Forge owner, Shareef Malnik, along with a host of local socialites. For those wondering how this fabulous party came about, a few weekends ago, Bosh and Williams stayed with Alan Lieberman, owner of South Beach Group Hotels, and his wife, Diane at the Liebermans’ summer home in The Hamptons. While in The Hamptons, Bosh was introduced to Jason Binn, who happens to be the Liebermans’ son in-law. Bosh hosted the opening of Bridgehampton Polo match and attended Russell Simmons’ Art for Life East Hampton charity event alongside Binn. A few weeks later we have an Ocean Drive reception welcoming Bosh to Miami, and yada, yada, yada, next thing you know, Bosh is writing a column for the magazine... coincidence? You decide.

Shareef Malnik, Chris Bosh and Jason Binn

Chris Bosh and Adrienne Williams

Ville to unwind for the evening and stayed until the morning hours enjoying the lounge. Ugly Betty’s America Ferrera and That ‘70s Show Wilmer Valderrama were in town this weekend to promote their new movie, The Dry Land. Valderrama, a Miami native, was excited to be in the Magic City, despite Saturday’s rainy weather. Both actors appeared at the screening at the Colony theater and at the after party at LIV. On Monday night, Kendra Wilkinson had dinner at STK (where she drank fenom and noshed on one of her faves, Lil Big Macs) and then partied at Mokai with Kevin Federline and Scott Storch. It appears that Wilkinson’s husband, football player Hank Baskett, sent Wilkinson and a few of her friends to Miami to unwind before they started shooting the next season of E!’s Girls Next Door.

CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Rapper T.I. was also spotted at The Forge with family and friends. The group of 16 commented on the beautiful renovations as they dined in the exclusive “Board Room”. STK Miami hosted the Brazilian Film Festival after party where Jose Wiler, Camila Morgado, Gloria Pires, Natalia Lage, Fernando Costa, and Maria Gadu, among other attendees, celebrated the close of a great festival honoring Brazilian films. After their concert at the Filmore, Interpol headed to Coco de

Gloria Estefan, her husband Emilio and their 15-year-old daughter Emily pose with Donna Summer before the diva hit the stage at Hard Rock Live. (Photo: Seminole Hard Rock/Tom Craig)

The Estefan’s enjoyed a night out at Seminole Paradise at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. (Photo: Ralph Notaro)

www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 21

411

More Tag Huer Tag Heuer Robert Van Winkle a.k.a. Vanilla Ice

Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovon arriving in the Tag Heuer Tessla Roadster

Michael Gongora, John Easterling, Olivia Newton-John and Michael Valdes

The Glade stars; Matt Passmore, Carlos Gomez and Michelle Hurd.

TAG Heuer Odyssey of Pioneers Event

Marysol Patton, Iran Issa Kahn and Gingi Beltran

Page 22 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

Malinka Max and friends

Jeffrey Donovon and Jean-Christophe Babin at the Tag Heuer Party

GO! UPCOMING SOCIAL EVENTS

It’s All About Giving By Mary Jo Almeida Shore and Maryanne Salvat maryannsalvat@aol.com

SMALL MIRACLES IN MIAMI Join the Easter Seals of South Florida for a free luncheon and fundraiser on August 26, at the Bank United Center at the University of Miami. The event starts promptly at 11:30 a.m. in the Hurricane 100 room and ends at 12:30 p.m. One of the main objectives is to inform and educate guests on all of the “miracles� the Easter Seals South Florida provides for the children and adults in the surrounding communities. For more information, call: Paula Mejia 305.547.4713 or Marilyn March 305.547.4758.

EQ SESSIONS During the month of August, Equinox Fitness Clubs is offering their downloadable celebrity playlists on EQ Sessions, an eclectic mix of tunes that will undeniably maintain your momentum during workouts! If you want to know what Katy, a.k.a. the California Gurl, listens to while working out or gallivanting around Los Angeles, guests can download a heart-pumping playlist handpicked and sequenced by Katy Perry via iTunes or Equinox.com at the cost of $11.70 for the entire mix, or songs can be purchased separately. A portion of each download will benefit Equinox’s Cycle for Survival, an indoor cycling event that raises money for research of rare cancers at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. For more information, go to: equinox.com/Life/Music

SPAZIO NERO RE-OPENS Spazio Nero, one of Brickell’s most popular nightclubs will re-open this weekend after undergoing extensive renovations and upgrades to accommodate its continuous and growing popularity. Expect to see 3,000 square feet of ad-

ditional space making Spazio Nero, the on-premise nightclub at Segafredo Brickell a total of 5,000 square feet. From the state-of-the art sound and light systems to the comfortable and relaxed yet chic design, Brickell residents no longer need to go to South Beach for a night out with friends. Spazio Nero is located at 1421 S. Miami Avenue.

GREY GOOSE RISING ICONS, LAURA IZIBOR AND MELANIE FIONA PERFORM THIS WEEK Irish R&B singer, songwriter and producer, Laura Izibor, will perform at MIA Lounge this Thursday, August 26. Izibor’s sound is a combination of classic R&B and modern sensibility. Affectionately known as “The Soul of Ireland,� she has opened for acts such as James Brown, The Roots, Angie Stone and John Legend. In 2007, she released “Live from Crawdaddy EP,� and her single “Shine� was used on the soundtrack for The Nanny Diaries. In 2009, she released her solo debut LP “Let the Truth Be Told� with her smash hit single “From My Heart to Yours.� The Atlantic Records recording artist was nominated for a MOBO for Best UK Newcomer and a Soul Train Music Award for Soul Approved/Underground Artist. Izibor will perform at midnight. Doors open at 9 p.m. Visit miabiscayne.com for more information and to add your name to the guest list. Melanie Fiona, takes over at LIV on Sunday, August 29. Melanie is a Canadian singer/songwriter whose music is a melodic fusion of pop and neo-soul. The Grammy Award nominee is returning to the RISING ICONS line-up after the success of her debut album “The Bridge,� featuring her breakout singles “Give it to Me Right� and “It Kills Me,� peaked at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 R&B Charts. She has had two successful tours opening for Kanye West’s European leg in 2009 and Alicia Key’s “The Freedom Tour� in 2010. She is nominated for four 2010 B.E.T. Awards including Best Female R&B Artist, Best New Artist, B.E.T Centric Award and Video of the Year. Fiona will perform at 1 a.m. Doors open at 11 p.m. Go to livnightclub.com for more details.

GET READY, GET SET, AND GIVE SET joins the race to help children with special needs by hosting the 7th Annual Porsche Boxster S Giveaway on Saturday, August 28. A donation of a $100 entitles enters you into a raffle to win a Porsche Boxster S (maximum 1,000 sold), open vodka bar from 11p.m. to 12a.m. and complimentary admission until 12:30 am; a $25 donation gets you free vodka from 11 p.m. to 12 a.m. and complimentary admission. All proceeds benefit the Danielle Demarzo Foundation. Doors open at 11 p.m. but registration begins at 10:30 p.m. For more information, visit setmiami.com.

PITCHING FOR CHARITY Want to strike out like P.Diddy, Chris Bosh or Burn Notice’s Jeffrey Donovan? Then here is your chance to throw out the Ceremonial First Pitch at a Marlins home game! Go to CharityBuzz.com from September 13th through September 30to bid on this chance of a lifetime! All proceeds from the auction benefit Gene Spotlight, which provides medical research grants for genetic disorders. Bidding ends soon!

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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 23

Sex COLUMN

Banking Bedroom Bliss By Dr. Sonjia Kenya

Sonjia@drsonjia.com What makes you happier: sex or money? Of course we all want both, but which is more influential to long-term happiness: luscious lovemaking or copious cash? Since the lobster roll at Smith and Wollensky’s is pretty important to my happiness, that’s where I began studying the issue last Friday. I arrived just as the sunset cast a fiery rainbow over Miami’s bold, beautiful, and economically liberated set. The ocean danced gently, glistening from the surrendering sun and before I could make an ice cube clink, Redhot, my raven-haired girlfriend and also my neighbor, waved us over. It was her mother’s birthday; a stunning retiree exuding elegance and bright energy who didn’t blink twice as the conversation swerved to sex, money, and happiness. Eager to advise us amateurs, she bestowed her wisdom: “Money. Absolutely. If you have money, you can have good sex. If you don’t have money, the sex won’t be good, even if it starts out that way. Without money, it won’t last.” Redhot’s Mom sizzled with satisfaction and happiness; exactly the type of person whose advice you aim to absorb. Happily married, in love with her family, and as indicated by her sparkling ears, wrists, and fingers, not failing financially. And she was simply gorgeous. Glowing with that rare beauty age does not diminish and men do not ignore. Drawn to our conversation (or Redhot’s mom), a well-dressed boy (never know if they’re men) who looked about forty injected himself into the debate. “The beautiful lady is right. The easy answer is sex but the real answer is money. Good sex may get you together, but it can’t keep you together. When your money is right, everything else can fall into place.” He then vanished into the crowd and resurfaced moments later, winning me over with a glass of wine and gleaming smile. How did he know what I wanted to drink? Intrigued, I asked if he was happy. “Life is so beautiful. I am such a fortunate man. I have a great career, a healthy family, and will soon be married to the most amazing woman in the world. And tonight, it looks like I have great conversation too.” What is going on here? It appears this guy is so deliriously happy that he finds pleasure buy-

ing drinks for strangers, engaging in random conversations, and charming the pants off everyone in the room as he explains his unavailability. Whether it was wine or reality, it didn’t take long to conclude that this man was either very happy or a very wanted by American authorities. Refusing to be rude without evidence, I forced myself into accepting the endless drinks he’d arranged and made a mental note to start recording America’s Most Wanted. The next day involved fulfilling food cravings forced by Mother Nature’s recurring gift to females under fifty. As I lounged at the beach in my backyard, hot wings, mozzarella sticks, and a turkey pastrami sub were delivered to my lawn chair. I do love living in Miami Beach! As I built up to a respectable bloat, one of my neighbors, a beam of brightness who litigates a couple of days per week and travels to exotic vacations every other week, eased over to my excessively-proportioned picnic. In need of insight from someone who is definitely happy AND seriously single, I asked Traveling Esquire whether sex or money was more important to his happiness. “I used to think money didnít matter but it does,” he said. “I realized it while dating a really nice but really poor guy last summer. He worked several menial jobs and had a beat up car with doors that didn’t work. He was so impressed with my life and all I had. I became uncomfortable with the inequity and couldn’t see him anymore. I felt like such a snob, but it was the first time I realized that money is really important.” This was the third happy person who indicated money was more important and I was beginning to recognize a pattern. Redhot’s mom, Traveling Esquire, and the booze buying, almost married man each appeared to be content sexually, yet believed money was more influential to their happiness. All these giddy, happy people were secure with their scrilla and spitting the same syrup! To learn about the other side, I needed to find some contentment-challenged friends to see how sex vs. money stacked up in their world. Right on cue, my colleague who works three jobs and hates her ex-husband entered my line of vi-

Page 24 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

sion. “Sex is more important!” she said and continued with a giggle, “Can’t you tell I’m single?” Before she could rush off to her next gig, I asked if she was happy. “I’m working on it. I’ll be happier once my finances are intact, which, hopefully,” she said with a smile, “will leave more time for sex.” Later that night, I met another pal at Prima Pasta who was concerned with increasing the quantity and quality of coitus with his wife. As I enjoyed an awesome meal at my favorite place to plump up while my unfertilized eggs exited; he told me sex was more way, way, way more important than money. My new friend worked double, if not triple the hours of most and admitted he used to be too tired to tango after dark. He’s now well-adjusted to the additional labor yet his domestic situation is still suboptimal. Hmmm...another pattern was emerging. Among my ridiculously small study population, money was important to folks that didn’t work excessive hours to get it and sex was more important to those who worked extra hours to bank extra benjamins. It turns out those hardworking souls seeking supplemental sex may be onto something. Research shows that sex is better for your happiness than money. Dartmouth College economist, David Blachflower, estimates that increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week generates an improvement in happiness that’s equivalent to earning an additional $50,000 annually. But don’t get confused. In their recently published study “Money, Sex, and Happiness,”Blachflower’s team also found that being poor while having sex does not create contentment. Although they found more money doesn’t get you more sex, they also found the most educated (and presumably the wealthiest) people derived more happiness from sex compared to their less educated peers. This lines up with the findings of Grove and Prince, who studied habits of the rich and famous in 2007. According to their research, the richer you are, the better your sex. During a study of more than 600 people, 84% of rich women and 63% of rich men said having money means having better sex. Almost all (93%) of the women cited higher-quality sex as the biggest benefit of being rich. The researchers concluded, “The majority of men and women credit their private wealth with achieving a better sex life. A larger percentage of women agree with the statement, perhaps indicating that females derive a greater degree of empowerment from their financial independence than their male counterparts.” To demonstrate their point, they offered this fun fact: 72% of

wealthy women have joined the “mile-high club” compared to just 33% of the wealthy men. You go girl! Keep on flying! Here’s another surprise. Marriage fosters the happiest people of all and partially because they’re the ones having the most sex and making the most dough. Those that tie the knot report 30% more sex than single people and most married couples are considerably wealthier than their unattached friends. Blachflower’s team of economists calculated that a lasting marriage equates to the same level of happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year. In contrast, divorce translates to a happiness depletion of about $66,000 annually. Ouch! Who feels like having sex when you just lost your loot? Sex increases happiness and happy people have better sex. Financial problems create unhappiness and forces folks to work excessively, leaving little time for sex. Since no one really wants to have sex with an unhappy tired person, it time to reconsider your priorities if you’re not getting enough nooky! You can try to make a million dollars working a zillion hours per week but you may end up single and we already know how that’s going to affect your finances and happiness. To get more sex and more happiness, figure out how much money you need and a way to get it that won’t kill yourself or your relationship. You don’t need money to be happy but you do need satisfying sex. And awesome sex is easier to achieve when you’re not worried about how you’re going to pay the bills. Like everything else involving orgasms, the relationship between sex, money and happiness is complicated but does make sense in an old-fashioned sort of way. After all, the oldest profession in the world involves providing great sex for money. Much has changed since that career path was paved, but I hear rich men are still the most common customers. Makes you wonder if they’re also happily married.

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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 25

Style SHOP

Fashion’s Night Out: A Great Reason to Shop Till You Drop By Jennifer Fragoso (jennifer@sunpostweekly.com)

September 10, 2010 marks Fashion’s Night Out. The after hours shopping event organized in 2009 by American Vogue, the Council of Fashion Designers of America, NYC & Company, and the City of New York to boost sales of full priced merchandise along with customer confidence while ultimately celebrating the art of fashion is back. Or what this writer likes to call a guilt free excuse to shop. Helping the economy by purchasing from the racks of Saks is a tough job but someone’s got to do it. FNO will be held Friday, September 11 from 6:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. The event is open to the public and will be hosted by a myriad of local retailers such as BCBG Lincoln Road, Anthropologie in the Village of Merrick Park, Saks Fifth Avenue in Bal Harbour and Nordstrom in the Aventura Mall. Each merchant will be celebrating in their own way so it would behoove you to ask your favorite shop what they’ve got going on this year. Saks in Bal Harbour has partnered with Grey Goose and Chef Michelle Bernstein to tantalize customers with a bit of C & C (cocktails and cooking) during their shopping experience. Where will you be shopping? Log on to fashionsnightout.com to iron out an itinerary or to get a list of retailers near you that are participating in this fashion friendly event. Happy shopping! Want to watch the frenzy unfold? Tune in to CBS on Tuesday, September 14, at 10 p.m. EST to watch behind the scenes footage of preparations made by designers, editors and retailers for this event. Happy shopping and long live fashion! ABOVE: CHEF MICHELLE BERNSTEIN LEFT: KATE SPADE RING AT SAKS.

LEFT: TORY BURCH AT SAKS RIGHT: ZANOTTI BOOTS & GUCCI BAG AT NORDSTROM

Page 26 • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com

ABOVE: ANTHROPOLOGIE SHOES. LEFT AND BELOW: ALEXANDER MCQUEEN AT SAKS FIFTH AVENUE.

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www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, August 26, 2010 • Page 27

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