Well in almost nine years, for the first time, my stay with mum is way longer than it normally is. Mum, I must say has changed a lot after my father’s passing away three years ago and I don’t blame her for it after a 40 year marriage. I, on the other hand, with an impulsive nature, am a difficult person to live with. Initially it was like a fairy tale romance between us, where mum would make my favourite dishes and take care of everything. But this “Honeymoon Period” soon ended. While I grew accustomed to being pampered, my mom raged at me one day “This has to stop. High time you got off your ass and did some work around here” Feeling remorseful, I scampered about doing household chores. Following that incident, our little tiffs became more frequent. It was my younger sister who saved us. She was like a marriage counsellor, but usually taking my mother’s side.
For our audience, we had the maid who would look at us as if we were crazy. One Sunday she even said “you guys fight like an old couple tired of each other. Even I don’t fight that much with my husband.” This came as a shock but put me into action. Here I was, doing what I had been dreaming of for past nine years – living with mum, getting enough time to spend with her, creating memories to cherish. Instead of making the most of it, I was ruining it by constantly bickering. I was very ashamed of myself and promised to change from that very moment. But old habits die hard and I have thrown in the towel.
While I try to control my comments, I do try to score my own points too. The difference, I do it with a smile.
The two or more months that I stayed with mother were like a Grand Slam Tennis match between Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova, but a match of words instead of rackets, each trying to score a point.
SONAL BAWA-BAKSHI is a freelance writer that lives in Vancouver
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