Pen Pal Blueprint Draft 5.14.20
Welcome to the intergenerational LGBTQ+ pen pal program reflective blueprint. Throughout my thesis research people expressed the desire for intergenerational queer connection; however, even within existing programs, there was very little available data that honestly communicated the complexities and intricacies in making connections between people of different ages. And there are so many complexities and intricacies‌.the politics and nuances of the queer community, ageism, access, and the basic human question of, what makes two people connect? As I was not going to find an answer to that question within two semesters, I focused on designing opportunities for intergenerational queer connections. Thus, the goal of the pen pal program was to provide both an opportunity for the connections themsevles, and also an avenue to explore and reveal the intricacies involved within the conections, in order to build a more intergenerational queer community. This is not a toolkit. My goal with this reflective blueprint is to share what was learned and to make my work openly accessible for the queer community. Any generalizations within the blueprint are in the context of the program and research, and I have called out subtleties as relevant. My hope is that the reflective nature and transparency of information will make this blueprint useful for a wide variety of intergenerational (queer) work, from an individual to organizational level.
Overview. My aim with a pen pal program was to allow for a multitude of experiences and interactions within one program. During my research on existing intergenerational queer programming it became apparent that most involved a level of planning and had an aspect that felt like, “networking,” in the sense that it was not an interaction that came about naturally in day to day life. Although the program was “formal” in that people had to actively sign up, I wanted to facilitate as “informal” of an interaction as possible within that boundary that allowed for a more natural and organic relationship to develop. The basic overview of the program involved outreach, ... The blueprint shows the trajectory of the program, including artifacts, participant actions, and my facilitation. The rest of the zine draws directly from participant quotes to highlight learnings and takeaways from the program. Outreach. I initially reached out to a limited group (10 people) of participants who had previously interacted with my research during a dinner workshop. I then expanded the sign up through my own networks and NYC specific Facebook groups. I recognized the difficulty in outreach to queer elders through these methods and attempted targeted outreach through organizations such as SAGE, as well as direct solicitation through personal connections. I was continuing to focus on outreach to elders when the COVID-19 pandemic reached NYC, and due to changing priorities outreach ended. The initial sign up outreach began at the end of February and ended in mid March.
Sign Up Participants signed up for the program through a Google Form. While the form was easily accessible by younger participants, the format likely served as a barrier for older participants unfamiliar with the technology. There were three types of questions on the sign up form: Basic Information (Name, Pronouns, Age, Identities (optional), Contact) Logistics Matching Information (Preferred Communication Method, Matching Preference (Older/Younger), Matching Motivation) Content Questions What would you ask someone who is a different age? What is unique about being the age you are right now? What are important moments in your week? Why are they important? Any other information (for me; for match) The questions were intended to be quick and easy to answer, while still providing valuable information that would both be informative in my matching process and give matches a good base to start communication.
The program had 81 people sign up with the oldest participant at 89 and the youngest at 19. Age breakdown of sign up: Age # of Participants <18 2 18-20 6 21-30
Matching I matched 24 people for 12 matches. The largest age gap was 52 years and the smallest 12. I made matches based on a variety of criteria with the intent to create a variety of types of matches. I tried to prioritize communication preference and any additional matching preferences if any were indicated. (For example, identity preference or personal interests.) When I was unsure of a match I emailed one or both sides, as appropriate, to confirm if the person was comfortable before continuing. For example, one person indicated the phone as their communication preference and I reached out to their match individually to confirm they would be okay communicating via phone. The matches were sent in a joint email to both people with an introduction created from their sign up form responses. I included program reminders and encouraged the participants to continue on their own from here, but to reach out if they had any problems or concerns. I did not receive any emails from participants with concerns during the program. The first round of matching emails went out on March 7th and the last match was made on March 22nd after additional sign ups. In addition to matching emails, I sent two program updates to everyone that signed up which included expectations updates and to check in as the COVID-19 pandemic developed.
Follow Up and Interviews. I reached out in mid-April to reconnect with participants and schedule follow up interviews. I had thirty minute to an hour interviews during the last two weeks of April through Zoom video or on the phone. My reflections on the program are based on follow up interviews with 14 people. Both pairs 4 matches One side of the pair 6 matches No response 2 matches
COVID-19 Impact. COVID-19 had a variety of impacts on the pen pal program and the connection between participants. For some, their pen palâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s correspondence ended up being a light during this otherwise dark time. For others, who were planning to meet in person or gained other responsibilities during the time, it became a barrier. I also saw similar programs emerge after states started issuing stay at home orders from organizations that work directly with seniors, including the SAGE Connect program. As Pride celebrations across the globe have begun to be cancelled or moved virtually, the pen pal model could serve as a unique way to make connections during Pride month (traditionally June). At the time of publication I am working with a local center for gay seniors to implement a second iteration of the program with their members.
Quotes, insights, and actionable takeaways, and individual journeys with illustrations to follow. Examples below.
“In the initial request, there was something about like how this contributes to building community and I definitely bought into that. That is totally a great intention. There isn’t, I mean there are ways you can interact with people across the country like over social media and stuff. But this is a much more intimate way. There’s no other way to randomly interact with someone unless they kind of buy into something from the beginning like this. I liked that.” “It is a way of reaching out without having to spend a lot of time. Its a way of connecting to another human being. Learning. Sharing ideas and experiences. Again a reminder that despite our differences we have more similarities.” “I believe the bulletin board is only for SAGE-approved events. Sorry, I know there are more hoops to jump through than ideal.”
“Excited that my match was trans. Don’t have a lot of people in my life that are trans, wanted to expand that worldly view, expand that part of my community.” “Typing, deleting, trying again. Don’t want to overwhelm them.” “Its good. Feels like, getting something different out of it than writing to a friend. I can tell this person, i have to inform this person about my life, and articulate where i’m at in a different way.”
“Element of “frustration” it would have been a lot easier if we had been sitting down together and had a few hours. Eventually kind of acknowledged we want to talk about these things and will get there.” “I don’t have to censor myself. There’s none of that, oh if I word it this way is it going to lead to questions. Like you just go and there’s none of that like tip toeing around and it’s been a very interesting sense of relief there…...largely our topics have focused on writing. We’re both writers. Techniques and stuff like that. The queer content just very naturally fits itself in, its a footnote, it’s something you would say in passing, in any normal conversation.”