sally-p8-p17.pdf
29/6/09
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Carers often feel isolated from their friends and family. They are constantly on call.
Friday 21 Dece mber I always knew that people with dementia lose their memories. But there’s so much more to it than that. Jim doesn’t just forget ‘things’, he forgets their entire context. It makes him so unpredictable.
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If he leaves the house alone, he often loses his way home. I do my best to stop him going out without me, but it’s so difficult. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head! Sometimes it’s like looking after an overgrown toddler. He makes me so angry, and then that makes me feel guilty. It’s a vicious circle. On top of this, Jim is becoming so unreasonable. He forbids me to speak about his illness to anybody - even the children! Says he doesn’t want people feeling sorry for him, or thinking that he’s ‘mentally unwell’. I can understand it on one level - Jim has always been a proud man. But from what I’ve learned we can only expect things to get slowly worse. How on earth can we expect people not to notice ?
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163,000 new cases of dementia occur in England and Wales each year - one every 3.2 minutes. ds
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0845 450 d s.o rg.u k a Monday 31 Ma rch www.cro ss ro e is ea s D s ' r al ei me The social services have put us in touch with Al z h nt e rn at ion 880 I 7981 0 Crossroads, a charitable organisation which 020 . a l z. co. u k provides support for carers. We now have a www trained support worker who takes over for one day a week. It’s been a real lifeline. Crossroads are so flexible and have done all they can to fit in around my schedules.
For the first time in many months I’ve found some time to be ‘myself’. Occasionally I’ ll see friends, read or catch up on correspondence – very often I’ ll just sleep! Bliss! Crossroads also run clubs, which enable Jim to pursue other interests and gives me some time off. The groups have enabled me to learn from others in the sa me situation. It’s a place where people can speak honestly about their feelings without being ed is judged. ‘ W hat you de sperat ely ne
a bit of ti m e to yourse lf… ise People are so open about sharing I do n’t thin k pe op le real it ca n be… their knowledge and experience. ho w wea rin g rd an d it really is ve ry ha It really is such a boost. I kn ew th at ti m e wa s No longer feel so alone. what I actu ally ne ed ed.’
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