headmaster’s column
The transition from adolescence to adulthood—from Suffield to college—is most apparent in the words of two alums. This first excerpt comes from a letter I received from a 2004 graduate, one who theoretically exited adolescence about six years ago: Throughout my four years at Suffield I made many valuable friendships with faculty members both in and out of the classroom. This does not occur in many public schools, and I am sure it isn’t that common at private boarding schools either. Suffield is a truly unique place to grow and learn. The sense of community there is one of a kind, and I really benefitted from it. There were times when students were not too fond of the rules we had to follow. The dress code seemed restrictive, and even at the age of 18 we had to be in our rooms with the lights out by 11 o’clock. Yet as I look back on my years at Suffield I would not trade them for anything. As I talk with my friends from Suffield we all feel the same way. The school prepared us well for college and beyond. We are proud to be alums of such a special place. And here’s one for the parents I met with that speaks to how I would answer their questions about the expression of gratitude: My reason for writing to you involved my desire to reconnect. Life often leads us down unexpected paths, paths we follow no matter how confusing or clear they may seem, paths which sometimes lead us far from home. But all of us come home at certain points; all of us feel the need to regain the balance and comfort which home affords us. So I guess this is my long-winded way of saying I miss Suffield. I miss Suffield for a plentitude of reasons… but mostly because Suffield is a place where I derived a sense of self, and a sense of purpose. Suffield helped me realize my individuality, my own voice. I was never as good to Suffield as Suffield was to me, but now, in retrospect, I realize why. I wasn’t ready to be the person I wanted to become and it has taken some time, years really, to get there. So what is my response to the parents and grandparents? First, they are right that we should try getting our students to express more gratitude, even as we know it is more likely to come in later years. Second, it is wise to offer structure, encouragement, and high expectations but also to acknowledge that adolescence is a unique and challenging period. The body and mind are growing and changing. If parents can find good partners like Suffield, they should grab them and hold on tight. And finally, I think we will add another non-negotiable for students at Suffield—expecting them to thank their families on a regular basis for the opportunities they have at our great school.
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“I miss Suffield for a plentitude of reasons… but mostly because Suffield is a place where I derived a sense of self, and a sense of purpose.”
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