Volume 105, Issue 13

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The Spectator The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

Volume 105 No. 13

April 17, 2015

New York Times Columnist Addresses College Admissions Mania

Two groups of sophomores in the Urban Barcode Project, mentored by biology teachers Jessica Quenzer and Dr. Jeffrey Horenstein, have been accepted to enter their research concerning urban biodiversity into a competition at the American Museum of Natural History in June. The guidance staff hosted an all-day event on April 15 to help students organize their school materials, offering organization advice and free school supplies. The string orchestra, jazz band, and beginning, intermediate and advanced bands performed for parents and students in the Murray Kahn Theater on April 1. A guest speaker from Credit Suisse visited economics teacher Catherine McRoyMendell’s class to lend insight into different methods for savings, especially those relevant to students. The Stuyvesant chess team, led by junior Alex Spinnel, competed in the National High School Chess Championships, and placed ninth in the nation. Stuyvesant’s Junior Statesman of America (JSA) club hosted the JSA Spring One Day Convention at Stuyvesant High School. Two Stuyvesant students won Best Speaker awards. Senior Maisha Kamal won the Creative Communication Essay Contest. Her work will be published in the magazine National Anthology. In the most meta promposal ever, former editor in chief Lev Akabas asked his former co editor in chief Teresa Chen, in The Spectator: will you go to prom with me?

FEATURES Arts and Entertainment

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By Anne george and Blythe Zadrozny Frank Bruni, a columnist for The New York Times, visited Stuyvesant on Tuesday, March 3, from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Murray Khan Theater to speak about the growing belief that a student’s future starts and ends with an Ivy League education. The talk was organized by the Stuyvesant Parent’s Association and hosted by co-presidents David Venderbush and Lynn Chen During the lecture, Bruni used excerpts from his book “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be,” as well as anecdotes about successful men and women, to convey his belief that our society places too much emphasis on the college admissions process. Bruni, a graduate of both the University of North Carolina and Columbia University, has worked

in various positions for The New York Times and has written books about topics including cuisine and politics. “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be” was released on March 15, 2015, and currently resides on The New York Times Best Sellers list in Hardcover Non- Fiction. Bruni began his talk by reading an email he had received from a high school senior who was going through the college process at that time. The email showed an example of a student who felt a great amount of pressure about how the college she would attend would determine her life, introducing Bruni’s point that college is incorrectly perceived as a deciding factor in making or breaking someone’s entire career. Bruni went on to say that the “system is broken” and asked the audience whether the process is helping or harming to a child. “We

are sending an extremely dangerous message that once you get into a good college you’re home free,” Bruni said in the lecture. Bruni incorporated both statistics and stories about wellknown people such as author John Green and Chief Executive Officer of Starbucks Howard Schultz, who exemplify the concept that it is possible to reach high levels of success in ways other than attending Ivy League universities. One point mentioned was that a large number of people listed as MacArthur Genius Grant Award winners, a highly regarded competition for excellence in different academic backgrounds, attended colleges such as Louisiana State University and the University of Maryland, schools that are not as widely praised in the general media. These successful people were able to use their colleges to gain skills such as better communication and confidence that eventually led to more opportunities in their individual fields. These examples support Bruni’s assertion that the discourse surrounding college is incorrect. “We should not have conversations about how to get into college, but how to use college,” Bruni said. Many parents found the lecture to be a refreshing and eye-opening experience. “I think it’s a wonderful relief that the idea is being presented that we should go back to placing our kids in schools that are the right fit for them. He is debunking the false marketing of colleges, as elite schools are manufacturing these ratios of acceptance,”

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Stuyvesant parent Terry Rosen said. Others believe this lecture was only the beginning of a long battle against tradition. “I think this lecture will have a very small effect because we are up against a huge tradition of pressure to go to name brand schools and by having one talk on one evening with only 400 people in the audience will have a tiny effect. The pressure to go to the most exclusive schools you can go to which has been built up over 20 or 30 years is not going to change very much in one night, but it’s a start,” Venderbush said. After the lecture, a question and answer session took place between the audience and Bruni, questioning some of the ideas presented in Bruni’s argument. In one case, junior Roz Joyce asked Bruni whether there was a difference in the caliber of peers in elite and non-elite universities. Bruni responded by stating that in many cases less regarded colleges have a more diverse population, creating a better environment for a student. Bruni went on to say that because students at these elite universities have become so accustomed to receiving opportunities, the level of their interest and appreciation of certain academic benefits is not as prominent. Despite the controversy, Bruni stood by his point that although college is important, it is not a deciding factor in a person’s career. “We’re defining best in one way. Were completely equating exclusivity with quality. And that’s just nuts,” Bruni said.

Freshman Caucus Holds Alumnus Visits Stuyvesant for Chess Exhibition First Freshmen-Only Dance By Julia Ingram and Selina Zou Strings of lights, paper flowers, and pastel colors decorated the fifth floor cafeteria on Thursday, April 2 for the Spring Fling, the first ever Stuyvesant dance open exclusively to freshmen. Planned almost entirely by the Freshman Caucus, the dance brought over 200 freshmen together to bond and relax on the last day before spring break. “The Big Sib-Little Sib Dance as well as Soph-Frosh Semi-formal involve other grades, so we thought that it would be easier to bond as a grade with a freshmen-only dance,” Freshman Caucus Vice President Tahseen Chowdhury said, who immediately jumped on board with the dance when Freshman Caucus President Pallab Saha suggested it to him. “[Through the Spring Fling], we can form bonds that last until senior year,” Saha said. The Spring Fling is the first freshmen-only dance in Stuyvesant that has ever been carried out. Although the idea for a freshmenonly dance was suggested last year, the Student Union (SU) calendar wasn’t as open as this year. The cost of the dance, roughly $1000, was covered by ticket sales: each

ticket sold for $5, and profits were put into a fund for future dances. Saha and Chowdhury were able to bring the idea to life with the help of the Freshman Advisory Council. The Advisory Council, composed of a representative from each freshman homeroom, was broken up into committees that worked on specific aspects of the dance, including advertising, budgeting, decorating, and purchasing food. The committee also coordinated a performance by Stuy Flow and a photo booth. The Sophomore Caucus and SU Vice President Jonathan Aung also played important roles, working alongside the Freshman Caucus to provide administrative help The Freshman Caucus ran into an issue however, when they tried to obtain a permit from Battery Park City (which owned the Stuyvesant High School building) for the event. In order to obtain such a permit, they needed the assistance of a Coordinator of Student Affairs (COSA) Matthew Polazzo, who was not instated until shortly before the dance. The Freshman Caucus was able to obtain the permit a week before the dance took place.

Adder-all or Nothing An investigation into the way Adderall has shaped the lives of select Stuyvesant students.

continued on page 2

Courtesy of lubbockonline.com

Stuyvesant’s Muslim Student Association’s (MSA) team Noor Al-Stuy competed at the Muslim Interscholastic Tournament (MIST) from April 3 to April 5. The team received second place and many members qualified for the national tournament this summer.

Courtesy of Patheos.com

Newsbeat

WHAT’S INSIDE?

“The Pulse of the Student Body”

By Sharon Chao Alumnus Eigen Wang (‘11) visited Stuyvesant on March 30 to give a simultaneous exhibition in chess, an event where a high-ranking chess player competes against multiple people at the same time. Eighteen Stuyvesant students participated in the exhibition, with other students intermittently dropping by and walking around to watch the individual games. Economics teacher and faculty advisor of the chess team William Boericke arranged Wang’s visit back in January. “I normally invite a top [alumnus] from the chess team to come back once a year to hold a [simultaneous exhibition.] It’s fun

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and it stirs up interest,” Boericke said. “I just wanted to give students an opportunity to play against a top player and see what it’s like.” Wang started playing chess competitively when he was in eighth grade, and his U.S. Chess Federation rating improved to the point where it was over 2200, which qualified him to be a National Master in his junior year at Stuyvesant. Less than one percent of rated chess players in the country hold that title, which was part of the reason that Boericke asked Wang to host an exhibition. Wang was later captain of the Stuyvesant chess team his senior year.

continued on page 2

The World of Extreme Happiness Arts and Entertainment editor Danielle Eisenman follows the Asian-American Literature class on their expedition to see “The World of Extreme Happiness.”

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

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News Alumnus Visits Stuyvesant for Chess Exhibition

Worldbeat World News Crisis in Yemen continues as Saudi Arabia leads a military assault on the Houthi, a Shiite insurgent group that forced Yemeni President Abdu Rabbu Mansour Hadi into hiding in January and has taken control of large parts of the country and military. The conflict has caused the devastation of many cities like Aden; increased tension between Saudi Arabia and Iran, which supports the Houthi; and increased activity by branches of Al Qaeda in Yemen. After two years of negotiations, Iran, the United States, and five other countries have agreed on a framework for the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), a plan to restrict Iran’s nuclear program over the next fifteen years by conducting thorough inspections of nuclear activity and limiting the amount of enriched uranium, centrifuges, and weapon-grade plutonium it has stored. If Iran follows the plan, the United States will lift some of the sanctions currently imposed on it.

National News Despite defense that his actions were influenced by his older brother, a federal jury found Dzhokhar Tsarnaev guilty of all 30 charges for killing three people and injuring 264 others by detonating bombs at the 2013 Boston Marathon. The penalty phase of the trial, during which the same jury will decide if Tsarnaev should be executed or sentenced to life imprisonment, will begin on April 21, the two-year anniversary of the attack.

continued from page 1 Only seven of the 18 students who played with Wang were part of the chess team. “I wanted to play with Wang because even though I don’t play competitively, I’m an avid fan of chess. I thought it would just be a fun and good experience to play against a Master,” senior Oliver Zhang said. Although Wang has the “National Master” title, he lost one game to junior and president of the chess club John Chen. Chen, who is also on the chess team and has a rating of 2001, was asked by Boericke to play with Wang as a comparison between the old and current team. After winning, Wang said, “Even though [Wang] is a stronger player than I am on paper, this experience shows that I am capable of a lot more than what my rating says I can do.” To be fair, however, the match between Chen and Wang was not

under the normal conditions of a game. There was no chess clock and Wang’s attention was divided among 18 opponents. “I was disappointed in myself for not winning all my games, but I understood that giving a simultaneous exhibition [was] more difficult than playing only one game because I [couldn’t] put as much focus into one game and because I [needed] to move much faster to not to keep the other players waiting for too long,” Wang said. Not only did the participants of the simultaneous exhibition enjoy an exhilarating game, but several onlookers found the event interesting as well. Senior Jan Li walked around taking pictures and observing each game. “It’s fun to analyze the positions of each game, because it’s like watching a movie and seeing things slowly unravel,” Li said. Wang’s purpose for agreeing to hold a simultaneous exhibition was to further the interest of chess in Stuyvesant and to help current

Response to Pertussis: A Look into Emergency Medical Procedures

Michael Slager, a white police officer from North Charleston, South Carolina, has been charged with murder after firing eight times at the back of Walter Scott, an allegedly unarmed black man, after a scuffle over a traffic stop on April 3. The incident, caught on video by a bystander, has sparked further discussion of police systems and race relations in the United States.

Freshman Caucus Holds First Freshmen-Only Dance continued from page 1 Many students feel the dance was ultimately a success in bringing freshmen together better than previous dances had. “The dance was more intimate [than the Big Sib-Little Sib dance], as more freshmen came and hung out with their friends versus [with] big sibs who[m] they knew much less personally,” freshman Asim Kapparova said. While it is not guaranteed

there will be a Spring Fling next year, the Freshman Caucus hopes their efforts will set a precedent for future Freshman Caucuses. “Historically, the freshman caucus has always been seen as unable to do much in the school. By creating this first freshmen-only dance in all of Stuyvesant’s history, we hope to give our grade, as well as future freshmen, the confidence to change this,” Chowdhury said.

Zhixing Che / The Spectator

Local News After the explosion and fire that destroyed three buildings in the East Village, further inspection has revealed numerous violations regarding to gas lines, fire safety, and illegal constructions in neighboring buildings.

students gain some experience playing a more advanced player. He was reminded of himself and the accomplishments he made during his years at Stuyvesant during his visit. “Performing the simultaneous exhibition brought back great memories of my time at Stuyvesant, and I was happy to see so many enthusiastic players in my former high school,” Wang said. Boericke usually asks one alumnus to hold an exhibition each year, and Wang will most likely not be returning to Stuyvesant for another. However, he continues to play chess competitively and is currently treasurer of the chess club at Columbia University. “Stuyvesant is the place that nurtured my love for chess, and the lessons and experiences that I gained during high school followed me to Columbia and will continue to follow me in my chess career,” Wang said.

By Namra Zulfiqar and Giselle Garcia The New York City Department of Health (NYCDOH) reported a case of pertussis, commonly referred to as whooping cough, to school medical personnel on March 3, 2015. In response, the administration contacted parents on March 20 via email and telephone to alert them of their child’s possible exposure to pertussis two weeks before. Pertussis is a disease that is characterized by a severe cough that can last for up to several months. Though it poses a threat mainly to infants and the elderly and is easily treated by antibiotics, it is highly contagious. Therefore, the NYCDOH

ADVERTISEMENTS “Colette helped guide me through the admissions process while also advising me on what would help and hurt my chances. As a first-generation Asian-American I was at an extreme disadvantage during the college application process. Neither of my parents attended college so everything I learned came from school. In the end, her advice and aid helped me attain a full scholarship, something I wouldn’t have dreamed possible.”

Stanley Chen, Class of 2013

Colette Brown taught in the English Department of Stuyvesant High School for over a decade and in that time she advised thousands of her Stuyvesant students through the college admissions process. She recently left Stuyvesant to begin independently advising students full time. Call or email Colette Brown for an appointment to begin personalized individual college admissions advisement. Her strong belief is that it is not enough to get it into the right school, but also fit into the right school for you. 646 467-0265 thecollegeadmissionsmaven@gmail.com THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS MAVEN is on Facebook

requires students to be vaccinated against pertussis, as well as several other diseases, before the start of their freshman year. “We don’t let kids in the building who don’t have the complete series of vaccinations,” school nurse Danielle Karunadasa said. “So this [case of pertussis] is very unusual.” The infected student had previously been vaccinated for pertussis; this was the first case at Stuyvesant of a student contracting a disease that the school requires students to be vaccinated against. In response to the case of pertussis, the infected individual is excluded from school for five days at the start of their treatment, or for 21 days if not receiving treatment. This procedure extends to staff members

as well. According to Karunadasa, pertussis poses a greater threat to them than to students, as the effects of the childhood vaccination decrease over time. Alternatively, some staff members may never have had the vaccination during their childhood, and they are not required to receive the same vaccinations students are before entering the school However, one isolated case still carries great risk. If a student is diagnosed with a disease that they should have been vaccinated against, the student’s physician delivers this information to the Board of Immunization, who then contacts the NYCDOH. The NYCDOH then informs the school of the isolated case as a warning, allowing them to take action to prepare. Along with the e-mails and phone calls sent to parents, Karunadasa also discussed pertussis at the professional development meetings held on March 23 during second, fourth, and fifth period. More extreme actions are taken if several students are infected. If a cluster of ten or more reports is found, then the NYCDOH advises the school’s administration and medical staff for further action, such as temporarily closing the school for disinfection. Fortunately, only one case of pertussis has been reported at Stuyvesant thus far, eliminating the need for any extreme procedures. Since the initial report, the student has been cleared to return to school.

The Spectator â—? April 17, 2015

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The Spectator â—? April 17, 2015

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The Spectator â—? April 17, 2015

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Welcome to our new page, “VOICES.� We decided it would be refreshing to add some nonfiction storytelling to The Spectator, where students who aren’t (or are) on a department can submit their writing. VOICES will showcase student perspectives on issues that are relevant to The Stuyvesant community, and it will be open to a range of formats — the only requirements are that the piece be written in first person and that it is nonfiction. We hope you enjoy our new section, and if you are inspired, send your submissions to voices@stuyspec.com.

Snapshots from Daddy’s Little Girl By Hayoung Ahn Ever since I was a kid, I owned a purple scrapbook that I stored in the bottom shelf of my bookcase. I would always use it to store random trinkets and photographs that I had amassed over the years. When you open the floral cover, you’ll find postcards from Boston, a Polaroid of me and my best friend from third grade, disposable camera prints of my fifth grade violin concert, and a couple of snapshots from my trip to Disneyworld with my younger brother Sam. In that entire album, there is one photograph that holds the most significance to me: there I am, smiling at the camera with a missing front tooth. My hair is tied back in a messy braid, and I’m wearing a magenta velvet blouse. Sitting right next to me in the photo is an older man with round metallic frames, dressed in a brown-collared shirt. Together we are sitting at a table with a bouquet of flowers and plastic Styrofoam cups. The rest of the background is, for some reason, cut out, and in that captured moment, it’s just us two: me and my dad. In fact, it’s the only photo I have of my dad and me from those years. He has always been the one behind the camera while I posed and modeled for him, so it was rare to find a photo of both of us. My dad was a huge fan of photography, and he bought me my first digital camera when I was still in elementary school. It was a sleek, dusty pink, 14.1 megapixel Sony Cyber-Shot model that quickly became my most prized possession. I carried it with me on all our family road trips. I used it to make short films featuring my brothers. Naturally, as a six-year-old daughter, I thought it was only

right for me to favor my dad over my mom. After all, what was that saying that I had heard the other day—“daddy’s little girl?� My dad didn’t punish me for leaving crayons on the kitchen table or spilling my apple juice all over my shirt, like Mommy did. When I came home with red pen marks on my science test, he would understand and tell me to just try harder next time. But as I got older, I found myself being easily influenced by the things my mom said while my dad was at work. My mom somehow subconsciously trained my mind to become ashamed of my father. Throughout my childhood, I remember her constantly grumbling about how terrible it was that I had inherited all my negative genes from him. Whenever I got into an argument with her, she would blame my dad for my short temper, stubbornness, and spurts of anger. I also began to notice that my facial structure held a close resemblance to my father’s. At first, I wanted to do everything I could to defend him. I thought that her bitter insults and complaints were completely unfair, and I desperately wanted to block her voice out of my head. But eventually, there came a point when I started to believe those words myself. It all started going downhill when my dad stopped attending church on Sundays. We had been going to church together as a family ever since we moved to New York, and the disunity brought by his absence tore away the stability of those thirteen years, just like that. With my older brother moving out-of-state and my dad refusing to go with us, our five-person party quickly slimmed down into a car with only two children and a devastated mother. Nothing felt like it

was in place anymore. To make matters worse, life wasn’t so great at home either. I can’t help but look back on my middle school years without reliving the alienation that surrounded me at home. It’s impossible to ignore the constant, on-and-off fighting that tormented the household. It was like a continuous cycle of high peaks and stagnant lows. Summer vacation was always the worst period, because that was when the whole family was stuck together all day for two entire months—without school or work to keep us busy, my mom stressed about cooking meals and doing more household chores than usual. Tension and stress were easily built up, which raised the pressure to bicker about the most trivial things. When high school came around, things got better—and worse. Stuyvesant introduced me to so many new people, and it definitely helped me to refine my independence and keep my mind occupied with things other than my life at home. At that time, my dad was making a living through working at a test prep center. Naturally, at an age when I was discovering myself, I couldn’t help but compare my own parents to my friends’ parents. I constantly thought to myself, why couldn’t my dad have a real, respectable job? Other kids’ dads were bank employers, restaurant owners, real estate buyers, and store clergies. So why did my dad get stuck being a teacher? In Korean culture, showing respect to elders is a huge aspect of tradition that I openly rejected and failed to acknowledge. Although I was born in South Korea, I desperately wanted to assimilate into the American culture because it was the only one that seemed right to

me. I became so angry at the fact that my parents didn’t grow up in the United States, even though it was certainly not their fault. They didn’t go to college here or speak perfect English like other American parents did. I was so regretful towards something in the past that none of us were actually able to control, for reasons I could not quite grasp on my own. The way I saw my parents directly affected my paranoid consciousness of the way other people viewed me. Their inept English skills made me wish they would never open their mouths in public. I remember how my mom would make me proofread her emails and letters before sending them, though it usually resulted in me rewriting the entire message for her. Whenever my parents stood in line to pay for our groceries, I would wander off to another aisle, just to avoid being embarrassed by their broken English and miscommunication with the store employees. Instead of helping my parents, I continued to run away from my fears. Before I knew it, my relationship with my parents irrevocably crumbled into pieces. My dad and I stopped going to the park on Sunday afternoons to play baseball. I stopped greeting my dad when he came home from work, focusing instead on my laptop screen. I tossed aside the novels that he filled the bookshelves in my bedroom with. When he picked me up from the train station after school to drive me home, the car rides were awkward and dull. I had never heard silence quite that loud before. The summer before I entered high school, my dad gave me a brand new Canon DSLR as a graduation gift. I like to refer to that summer as the pivotal moment in

which my passion for photography began to develop. Although my relationship with my dad had never fully healed, we spent our days in ignorance, pretending as if everything was normal again. Meanwhile, I worked hard to produce photography projects and make a name for myself. Last spring, I was able to snatch up an opportunity to have my original work displayed at a photo exhibit hosted by NYU. I invited my parents to go see the photos that I wouldn’t have created without the help of my dad. Nothing had felt more heartwarming than watching my dad observe the photo I had taken of the old cut-out picture of my dad and me, sitting at that table with the flowers and Styrofoam cups. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to—the spirit in his eyes gave it away. In that moment, I knew that he felt proud of me. My story started with me, a child of immigrant parents who landed in a place where the odds were stacked against us, a place where language barriers and culture clashes made my ideas feel isolated and different from those of my parents. I wasn’t looking for the whole world to agree with everything I believed in. But it would have been nice if at least my parents and I could view the universe through the same lens. Maybe if I set aside the technicalities of whether they spoke in English or Korean, I would be able to understand them on a whole new level. Maybe that’s what family is about—looking past disagreements and finding solace in universal languages, like love and imagination, music and numbers, and maybe even art. And maybe, just maybe, photography seems to be a good place to start.

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The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

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Features Adder-All or Nothing By Elizabeth Lawrence and Andrea Ma Certain names in this article have been changed to preserve students’ anonymity. John, a male senior, was eating lunch with one of his friends. Both were bright-eyed, innocent freshmen at the time. John drank alcohol and smoked marijuana occasionally, but he had never tried any prescription drugs. His friend had recently gotten a prescription for Adderall, a psycho-stimulant drug used to treat narcolepsy, attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). John and his friend stressed over their grades together, a typical pastime of Stuyvesant students, and Adderall came into the conversation quite a few times. But John kept rejecting the idea every time his friend brought it up. But one day, the boys’ English teacher notified them of a test the next day with a large number of vocabulary words to memorize. The friend suggested that John try using Adderall yet again, and this time he relented. The friend gave him a pill and instructions, and after school John went home. He popped a pill with a Red Bull, and memorized around a hundred words and their definitions. John was hooked. The University of Michigan’s “Monitoring the Future” study found that the number of American high school seniors using Adderall for non-medical reasons has soared since 2009. In 2009, abuse rates were 5.4 percent. By 2012, they had increased by almost half, to 7.6 percent. The Drug Enforcement Administration lists Adderall as a “Schedule II” drug (on a scale of I to V, I being most dangerous), meaning that it has a “high potential for abuse [...] with use potentially leading to severe psychological or physical dependence.” Its status as a Schedule II drug also means that it carries high legal risks; giving Adderall to a friend can be prosecuted as a felony. If the Adderall given or sold has a monetary value below $1,000 it is punishable in NYC by up to a year in prison or a fine of up to $1,000.

“You’ll want to make hundreds of flashcards, retype a year’s worth of notes, consume knowledge on mass and just achieve things. It’s uncomfortable being unproductive.” —John, male senior

Even with these potential penalties, the drug is abused by students in order to increase focus and efficiency, and is often taken in preparation for high-pressure situations. Many semi-regular users take Adderall at a specific time every day— whether right before school, right after school, or early in the morning. There are various negative effects, including insomnia, lack of appetite, an increased heart rate, and anxiety. Long-term effects include memory loss, increased cardiovascular risk, depression, paranoia, and dependence. Students who have prescriptions for the drug sometimes become the dealers, and sell them to friends or acquaintances—at Stuyvesant, it is typically sold at two dollars for one milligram (most Adderall users begin with a five or ten milligram dosage, but it increases over time as they build up a tolerance). Many students began using the drug because of a recommendation by a friend. They had big tests coming up that they wanted to do well on, and their friends claimed that Adderall brought results. George, a male senior, started using Adderall in junior year in order to get a good test grade in his AP Calculus class. “I also used it for college apps [later], and I finished all of them in three days,” George recollected. However, for several students, taking Adderall does not provide an academic or physical advantage—it’s a drug they are required to take in order to function at the same level as others. Freshman Inrii Gonzalez, diagnosed with ADHD, has been taking Adderall since he was eight years old. “I get distracted in class, so it’s supposed to help me concentrate and help me in school, or basically, life,” he said. For Gonzalez, taking Adderall has been a regular practice for years. He takes the amount according to his prescription, but is free to ask for a higher dosage if he feels he needs it. It calms him down and makes it easier for him to socialize. “Without it,” he said, “I’m just all over the place getting in trouble.” Another student, a male sophomore, Gary, uses Adderall primarily because of his ADHD, but also to improve his academics. He finds it hard to focus on completing a single task at a time and prefers to multi-task with simpler activities. “Adderall helps me because when I take it I am able to pay attention more easily. I don’t lose interest in a subject and am more engaged in it,” he said. Adderall has made a significant impact on Gary’s life. He feels that he is more pleasant when he uses the drug, and tends to be less impulsive, thinking twice before he acts. Gary was first diagnosed with ADHD in seventh grade when his parents researched the symptoms and allowed him to be tested at a psychiatrist’s office. “I would have a lot of fights with my parents and the school report cards would always say that I had potential

but chose not to use it and slack off,” Gary recalled. Initially, he didn’t like the idea of taking Adderall because it made him feel abnormal, as if he needed the drug to retain his sanity. However, he soon became accustomed to the drug, and realized that it not only strengthened his relationships with teachers and parents, but also allowed him to improve academically. As the practice of taking Adderall became more familiar to him, Gary gradually became inclined to use it to study for important tests or complete projects, just like the Adderall users without medical conditions did. He still takes the drug on a regular basis, and he plans to continue this practice until he is no longer pressured by schoolwork. “Adderall has allowed me to pass tests with flying colors and get essays done within an

Vivian Ma / The Spectator

hour, whereas I would normally procrastinate and waste a lot of time,” Gary said. Students purchase the Adderall from other students who have prescriptions; Gary has sold it a few times. One could also indirectly sell it by buying from someone with a prescription and then selling it to someone else. John has done this once or twice, but is ultimately against it because he can only get a worthwhile profit if he rips people off. “Plus, you get the reputation of being an Adderall dealer and all of a sudden [many] kids you don’t know are ‘hitting you up,’” he explained. These dealers tend to “run dry” during times of need, such as finals week and AP week. In this case, students generally have two options. “You either don’t get it at all and don’t rely on it -[you] study yourself - or you get it really early,” Freddy, a male junior, said. Marianne, a female junior, uses a different tactic and points out that Bronx Science has a different finals week, so one can buy it from their dealers during Stuyvesant’s finals week. These students decided to use Adderall despite the rather unpleasant sensations it gener-

ates. For John, an avid Adderall user, the feelings have become muted. But when he started taking it, he experienced constant sweatiness, a rapid heartbeat, and loss of appetite. “Eating food is about as appealing as eating rocks,” John said. But the need to be productive was the dominant feeling for John. “You think every millisecond, ‘How could I be spending this time more productively?’ You frantically run around your room. There’s so many lists of things to do, lists on lists on lists. You’ll want to make hundreds of flashcards, retype a year’s worth of notes, consume knowledge en masse and just achieve things. It’s uncomfortable being unproductive,” John described. John has become significantly more neurotic while on Adderall as well. He confessed to spending fifteen minutes on a bunch of math problems, messing something up on one line at the end, and then throwing out the whole paper because it wasn’t perfect. Straight lines and perfect cubes are doodles not uncommonly found on his papers. Gonzalez described a feeling similar to John’s. “[The drug] puts your mind on overdrive to the point where you have to distract yourself with doing something efficient,” he explained. Freddy said that while on Adderall he feels “like a robot” and “emotionless.” Except when he comes down from the high; then, he feels depressed. Regina, a female junior, admitted to experiencing headaches the next day, and just feeling “completely and totally awful.” Marianne confirmed this feeling: she gets extremely “twitchy and wiggly” while using it. John uses Adderall regularly, which explains why the negative effects don’t freak him out as much. “I take it when I need to for school, or when I convince myself I need to for school and I have it or have access to it—which is essentially always,” he said. Other students take it much less frequently—or have stopped taking it altogether. George, Marianne, Regina, and Freddy only use it when they have an abnormal amount of work or studying to do. Freddy uses it sparingly because he found that he could become extremely reliant on it. Regina said she didn’t take it on a regular basis because “people that are addicted, you can see it on them and it’s scary.” Frank, a male junior, stopped using it completely. “Adderall use improved my grades, but it also influenced me into using other drugs such as weed. It was a low point when I was a druggie, so I would say it affected my life in a negative way,” he said. Correlation between Adderall and other drugs is in fact highly common—according to one study, 89.5 percent of Adderall abusers also reported binge drinking in the past month. Using Adderall for nonmedical reasons is not only considered taboo because of the dangerous side effects and

legal repercussions—there’s a moral aspect to it as well. Some people feel that students who use Adderall to enhance their academic performance have an unfair advantage. While Principal Jie Zhang

“I am okay with the fact that other people are using Adderall even without ADHD because I believe that ADHD doesn’t make you special and give you rights to unlock a drug which allows you to increase your potential.” —Gary, male sophomore

said that using Adderall for nonmedical purposes does not officially fall under the academic dishonesty category, guidance counselor Viven Ngai makes the point that “if athletes taking steroids would be considered worthy of disqualification, that might be a good way to start the conversation—because it’s not reflecting your true ability.” Ngai and Zhang are both very opposed to non-medical Adderall use. Ngai sees Adderall as a serious issue because, “we don’t know the consequences [of it], and we don’t know the effects.” She feels that openly discussing it is beneficial, as well as visiting the guidance counselor every once in a while. Students should “feel safe enough to come talk to us, and to know that [they’re] not being judged. [The guidance office] is a place to get help, resources, and support,” she said. Similarly, Zhang is strongly against its use. “I think you children should be very healthy— you should not need any help. I mean, I didn’t use it. My children didn’t, as far as I know. So I’m definitely against it,” she said. John feels that he couldn’t have accomplished all he has without the use of Adderall. He plans to use it even after high school ends, although he admits that he should stop or slow it down when he’s an adult. If he stops taking it, there are other drugs from which he might choose. “There are a bunch of legal drugs coming out that apparently have similar effects— I’ll look into those,” he said. One can only imagine what John’s life would be like today if he hadn’t decided to use Adderall to study for the long vocabulary test months back when he was a freshman.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 8

Features

Yujie Fu / The Spectator

Warning: Don’t Try These At Home

By Elizabeth Lawrence with additional reporting by Zora Arum Imagine a Stuyvesant where pranks are not only allowed, but encouraged. You walk in the door, and all of the faculty at the ID swipe-in have mustaches drawn onto their faces. Assistant Principal of Health, Physical Education, and Security Brian Moran waves at you while leading a school-wide conga line. Toilet paper is draped on the staircases, the escalators resemble water slides, and chickens wander aimlessly through the halls. This is not the Stuyvesant we know today, but over the years, a few pranksters have managed to pull some pranks to this effect, and with minimal consequences. These pranks range from scattering up ridiculous and fraudulent club posters around the school to building a brick wall in front of the vice principal’s office. Not everyone is a fan of pranks especially to those who play victim in the schemes (such as former principal Stanley Teitel), but it is fun to remember them. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Atrium? In 2002, Stuyvesant had a publication called “The Broken Escalator.” It was a fake version of The Spectator, and contained satirical articles; essentially, it was Stuyvesant’s version of The Onion. Nat Towsen (’03) was a writer for the publication, but most others on it were in the Class of 2002. Towsen and others on the paper got permission to stay in school one night to print out giant, ten-foot versions of a teacher

portrait in the dark room. They were allowed to stay as long as they printed all of the pictures they needed. Some of the seniors in the crew left and went to Chinatown, and around 10 p.m. at night, they arrived with a box of live chickens. The “cell phone era” began around 2002 and so, Towsen and his fellow conspirers were able to communicate with one another and coordinate an appropriate time for the chicken carriers to enter the building. Stuyvesant had just installed security cameras, and “had done it over a long weekend without telling anyone, which was kind of creepy,” Towsen said. But at that point, the student body was well-aware of the cameras and the “Broken Escalator” crew had to figure out a way to slip the chickens in unnoticed. Towsen chatted with the security guard while the chicken holders snuck in through the ground floor entrance. “I started talking to [the security guard] about the security cameras. And this sounds like a dumb idea now, because if I talked to him about the cameras, he’d be way more likely to look down at what was happening in the camera feed, but I decided to just try and maintain eye contact with him for as long as possible,” Towsen explained. While Towsen and the security guard continued their conversation, the students with the chickens shuffled into the door, and to their surprise, the chickens kept their mouths shut until they got them into the SU office. The kids then stuffed the chickens into a wooden cabinet in the Big Sib Office, where they stayed tucked away until the

next day, which was the second to last day of school. Around fourth or fifth period the next day, the kids took the box out of the Big Sib Office, opened it on the senior bar, and then ran away to avoid getting caught. As expected, the next half-hour was chaos. “It was just a crazy spectacle, and there were all these people crowding around and taking pictures with the chickens,” Towsen described. But then, (cue the ominous music) Teitel arrived, along with assistant principal Randi Damesek. They were not amused, and Teitel himself began grabbing chickens and stuffing them in trash cans. Even today, no one fully knows what fate awaited those chickens or where they ended up. Towsen believes that the administration had an idea of who pulled the prank, but they never pinned it on anyone. So, why did the chicken cross the atrium? To be a part of a high school prank.

The students with the chickens shuffled into the door, and to their surprise, the chickens kept their mouths shut until they got them into the SU office. Class of 2008 Shenanigans Stuyvesant’s students played numerous and varying pranks on June 13, 2008. Gabe Paley (’08) , witnessed and videotaped them all, and then posted them on Youtube. The first prank took place in the band room; the students ordered a pizza pie, even though eating is strictly prohibited there. This prank was the brainchild of Jonah Meyerson (’09). He wanted to pull it for years before it actually happened. At 9 a.m., Meyerson made a call to Portobello’s, a pizza place that has since moved. It took a lot of coordination to get Portobello’s to deliver it through the band room window: the pizza delivery man came to the lobby

first and so, Meyerson had to meet him and tell him to go outside and meet him at the correct window. Eventually, the delivery man came around and handed Meyerson the pizza, which conveniently managed to fit through the narrow window opening. Music teacher Dr. Gregor Winkel let the prank slide. Paley even recalls him having a slice. “I think he was like, ‘Hey, they worked hard this year, and they earned it.’ I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled that it ended up on Youtube, though,” Paley said. In the Youtube video, you can watch the whole prank unfold. In it, you see Meyerson declaring that “pizza never tasted better,” as he shovels a bite of cheesy victory into his mouth. On this day, the senior conga line tradition was created as well. This prank was masterminded by John Haberstroh (’08). Haberstroh brought in an oversized boombox, one seemingly taken straight from the 90s, and told seniors to meet at the senior bar sixth period so they could all tour the school. Haberstroh began conga music, and a throng of people joined as they headed into different classrooms. “Some teachers were cool with it, some were not. But nothing was gonna stop us. Basically, there were like one hundred kids on that line,” Paley explained. The kids boldly decided to enter the principal’s office. “They were a little nervous but also thought ‘this is kind of our last hurrah, so why not,’” Paley explained. Teitel was, unsurprisingly, very disgruntled. He came out and confiscated the boombox. But, in the end, the students did not suffer extreme consequences. And, one day in June, Paley’s friend Michael Blech (‘08) created around thirty signs for fake clubs instructing people to go to room 327 after tenth period. Some of the clubs he made up were the Parakeet Basketball Club, the Canadian Finance Club, the Domestic Porpoise Club, the Fruit Helmet-Making Club, and more. Twenty people purportedly showed up in room 327 that day. At the time, many of these antics were probably looked upon as fun, insignificant little stunts, but some, including the conga line and Assassin, have become Stuyvesant traditions that will be carried on for a long time—and the pizza in the band room is a tale still cherished by many band members.

The Wall A ragtag group of intelligent Stuyvesant hipster rebels snuck into the old building late one night in 1982. They were on a mission. A couple of members of the group had stayed in the building after school, hidden in the nurse’s office or gym, and waited to let the others in. Pink Floyd’s album, titled “The Wall” was popular at the time, so the group decided to build a wall in front of Vice Principal Murray Kahn’s office. They had brought bricks and mortar in days before to prepare, and had stored them in the theater area. When they got to the building, they began to lay the bricks and mortar down, right where the door would be to the vice principal’s office. They spray painted the words “The Wall” on it, and then hacked the school’s sound system to play songs from “The Wall” all day long. No one was caught, though Alain Kodsi (‘82), a member of the group, said, “In the middle of the night, one of the kid’s fathers showed up honking his horn and made his son leave, and that was very stressful for us.” The administration took the wall down shortly thereafter, but they thought, “It was a very cool thing. They sort of respected that it was done, and so there was really no fallout in any way, shape or form for what happened,” Kodsi said. The member noted that the current administration seems to be a lot more serious than the one that was in place in 1982. “I wonder how your principal would feel if she walked in and found a wall like that. I don’t know if the security system would allow it,” he mused. The prank was held in high regard, and at the class of ‘82’s graduation, the group unfolded a banner they had painted to resemble the infamous wall. Over the past few decades, countless pranks have been pulled at Stuyvesant, even though the atmosphere is not the one described at the beginning of the article — which is probably a good thing, because it would be very hard to walk up a water slide to get to class. Even if these pranks are disapproved of by teachers, they do succeed in getting laughs. And if they’re influential enough, they live on and become traditions. So when you Stuyvesant students are old, don’t shake your cane at good kids pulling a tasteful, eloquent prank. Applaud them.

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The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 10

Features

Kimberlyn Cho / The Spectator

Rodda John and the Search for the Anglo-Saxon Sword Pommel

By Danielle Eisenman The turn from Worth Street onto East Broadway is a difficult one to make, for cars and bicycles alike. There’s a wacky intersection there, with its characteristically disconcerting swirl of cars, honks, and gruff grumblings adorned with New York accents. And when I finally make it onto East Broadway, the large red “Dim Sum Go Go” sign always serves as a comforting confirmation that I have successfully maneuvered my bike onto the right avenue and have probably not been hit by a car. On a Sunday evening toward the end of March, as I made my way around Kimlau Square, I once again found solace in the scrutiny of a particular, faded strawberrycolored awning. The Helvetica lettering and the little wings squished onto the lowercase G’s in “Go Go” were as welcoming as they’d ever been, and I’d even ventured to look inside the huge window on the face of the restaurant. At a table of three or four, I spotted a man—or, no—a stretchedout boyish figure. He was wearing a full black suit with a white dress shirt and a darkish tie underneath. Atop his head sat a vaguely spherical mop of yellow hair. Two oversized, blocky rectangular glasses frames traced a pair of cornflowerblue eyes. By some wacky coincidence, I had caught a glimpse of sophomore Rodda John candidly enjoying a weekend meal. At Stuyvesant, it isn’t uncommon to see various members of the student body clad in suits at a given time—there is always some situation that requires us to look sharp, whether it be an orchestra concert or a simulation in history teacher David Hanna’s AP European History class. That being said, the most common event that calls for fancy dress is, without a doubt, Speech and Debate. So, I naturally made the assumption that John was just scoring some chow after

a debate round or two. My assumption, I believe, was valid enough—debate occupies a huge portion of John’s life. This year, he created the Parliamentary Debate (or, as he refers to it, “Parli”) sect of the Stuyvesant Speech and Debate team, with the help of English teacher Julie Sheinman. John is working with Executive Director of the New York City Urban Debate League Erik Fogel to start a high school Parliamentary Debate League, as well. He teaches debate at the Manhattan Country School on the Upper East Side on Tuesdays and Parliamentary Debate on Wednesdays; the weekends are for debate tournaments or middle school debate tutoring on the West Side. (And yet, he finds time to go to bed between 8:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. every night.) He’s even spending a portion of his summer at debate camp this year. John and I had scheduled to meet at the Metropolitan Museum of Art a couple of days into spring break. The general swiftness with which he moves and speaks has always given me the impression that he’s a punctual person—as he was on time for our previous interviews, he had made it to the museum at 10 o’clock on the dot, just as we had planned. My considerable lateness seemed to be at least somewhat vexing to him— Facebook Messenger notifications popped onto my phone screen every six minutes or so while he waited. “Where shall we rendezvous” “?” “I am currently in the lobby” And when I finally spotted him bent over his tablet—while maintaining a rigid posture, of course— and wearing a burgundy polo shirt and his usual pair of Max Fischeresque khakis, the first thing we discussed were his whereabouts on a certain Sunday evening. If you are so inclined to know—yes, he did dine at Dim Sum Go-Go, and no, he was not unwinding after a debate round, but instead, preparing to go to a jazz club. (Fun fact: John is a part of the Stuyvesant Jazz Band, where he leads the trombone section, has composed his own piece, titled “Rodda’s Christmas Medley,” and occasionally inquires about the musical significance of noodles.) Our first stop at the Met was the exhibition of European paintings. We zoomed up the stairs and down the halls to the galleries. The first river to cross was that of the early Italian paintings—mostly flat, authorless portrayals of Madonna and child. I’ve always been drawn in by the cobalt hues and golden cone-of-shame halos, but John feels differently. “Let’s try to get away from the religious art as

quickly as possible,” he said. “If I wanted to see this, I would have went to the Cloisters [a branch of the Met in Fort Tryon Park that specializes in Medieval art].” His zippy movements across the galleries made his roomy pants swish with every step, and his comically sharp turns made him practically impossible to keep up with. John snickered a little and told me, “You know, the first museum my father took me to in New York was the Cloisters. That was a mistake.” He later explained to me that his aversion toward religious art is rooted in his family’s Congregationalist tradition. This sect of Christianity favors austerity, and detests the kind of iconography that is so prevalent in the Met’s collection of early Italian art. Conversely, John was really into the British paintings, though he didn’t walk any slower as he approached them. With every work, he would sashay up to the description alongside the painting, hold a bent-over position for a good six seconds while he read the description, exhale an abrupt chuckle and mutter something to himself (usually along the lines of, “Ye British and ye horses,” or “Winslow Homer really liked his sailing boats”), look at the painting for three seconds, and then move on to the next painting. John is most fond of British paintings, as his family is from the United Kingdom, and he embraces his somewhat distant ancestry—his parents both grew up in the United States—with a particular zeal. First of all, he eats Cornish Pasties (pastries from Cornwall, where his family is from, that are usually filled with beef and potatoes) every single weekday for lunch. And, when I asked him what his greatest insecurity is, he said that he’s worried that, because he doesn’t want to seem haughty or pretentious, he “sound[s] like a Brit when he talk[s].” People have noted that John tends to adopt something resembling an accent when he’s advocating certain opinions that he feels particularly strongly about, though this isn’t something I’ve really picked up on. However, John is in touch with his European background. His encyclopedic knowledge of cathedrals around the continent serves as concrete evidence of this. At many of the paintings we looked at, he would often point and mutter, “Great cathedral.” When we got the Impressionist galleries, he gushed over Monet’s “truly beautiful” interpretation of the Rouen Cathedral, and identified the Salisbury Cathedral in another work. “It’s a 20-minute walk from Stonehenge,” he re-

marked. “Great cathedral.” Eventually, we got to the hall of Greek and Roman art, where I asked John to tell me more about Parliamentary Debate. Stuyvesant sends several teams of three members to each tournament (the tournaments are organized by John and Fogel themselves, and are often held in obscure locations— the biggest one they have had so far was at the Kirkland & Ellis Law Firm in Midtown), where each team debates three resolutions. One example is, “Should students going into STEM [Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics] fields be given more financial aid [than students pursuing the humanities]?” Two of the resolutions are prepared beforehand, although the preparation is minimal. The third resolution is revealed at the tournament, and the debaters have a couple minutes to prepare their arguments before presenting their positions in an impromptu fashion similar to the “Extemporaneous Speaking” category of Speech. Sophomore Lorenz Vargas, the team’s Interim Novice Director, explained that Parli is “less evidence-centric” than most debate categories, but instead “much more logic-focused.” For this reason, sophomore Shamaul Dilmohamed said that other debaters tend to see Parli as “the laughingstock of debate.” He claimed that the focus away from evidence leads people to view Parli as “not a real category.” Vargas explained that the tournaments tend to be very small in scale (and for this reason, a lot less competitive) compared to most mainstream events, because most schools don’t have many, if any, students participating in Parliamentary Debate, a relatively new and unheard of category in high school. Parliamentary Debate is the style of debate John participated in as a middle-schooler, and he wishes to flesh out attendance at his tournaments by inviting advanced debaters from middle school to participate in his high school parliamentary debate tournaments. It’s way too easy to see John as some sort of cartoon character. When we were strolling through the American Wing, he began to hum this rhythm to himself that he embraced so vigorously that he never seemed to miss an animated, meticulous beat. “I apologize for my humming,” he said. “It’s ‘Carmen,’ an opera by Bizet that I am performing at Carnegie Hall on May 17th with the InterSchool Orchestra.” When you Google John’s name, the first thing that comes up is a TEDx Talk from

2012, which shows a miniature John advocating for the integration of Computer Science into the curriculum of his middle school, the School at Columbia University, where his father is a historian. The next search result is John’s channel, which features tutorials for “Minecraft, Anno 1404: Dawn of Discovery,” and C++, the programming language. Each video begins with the same squeakyvoiced, stuffy-nosed introduction from a pre-pubescent John—“Hi! It’s R-John-nine-nine-nine-nine.” When I asked John his favorite movie, he replied, “I enjoy ‘Citizen Kane’—nothing modern, really.” Sometimes, I forget that he’s a human being, and not a just a caricature written by Wes Anderson. His tremendous enthusiasm toward debate, history, and computer science is so energetic that it makes the whole “Rodda John” character seem virtually unbelievable. But, after spending a considerable amount of time with him, I’ve come to realize that John is just as human as everybody else. When I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up, he gave me the bona fide answer that just about any teenager in the world would: “No idea.” I mean, the kid plays Wii Sports tennis with his 13-year-old sister. John’s vibrantly animated world view is not a product of a crew of comic artists, but a very real passion for all the things he holds dear. Both Vargas and Dilmohamed noted that John is extremely adept at leading the Parliamentary Debate team, and has a wicked affection toward the activity in and of itself. Perusing art museums, in the same way, is not just a glossy affectation for John, but something he is and always has been legitimately excited by. In our last 10 minutes at the museum, he began telling me about one of his fifth grade writing assignments that required him to find the Met’s Anglo-Saxon sword pommel, the only specimen of AngloSaxon art in the entire museum. He had asked 40 guards, but there was only one who knew where to find the Anglo-Saxon sword pommel, a counterweight used at the end of the sword to balance its weight. Seeing it for the first time was extraordinarily important to his fifth-grade self. When we approached the Anglo-Saxon sword pommel, I heard a tiny gasp from John, who was standing next to me and extending his arms as he exclaimed, “Wow! It’s the AngloSaxon sword pommel,” as if every cell in his entire body was bursting with completely unironic, sincerely gigantic love.

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The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 12

Editorials Staff Editorial

Classes with Class Stuyvesant students are blessed with a wide variety of courses — Advanced Placement and regular — to choose from every year. But even with this large selection, many students hunger for knowledge in fields that are rarely covered in core classes. To quell this drive to learn more on topics about which students are truly passionate, the Editorial Board chose seven topics that we feel would enhance Stuyvesant’s curriculum and that would have enough student support to validate their existence.

The Spectator The Stuyvesant High School Newspaper

“The Pulse of the Student Body” E D I TOR S

N ews

Advanced Placement Art History Many students walk into Art Appreciation knowing little to nothing about art, and leave with a basic yet somewhat incomplete understanding of the motives behind, and techniques associated with, European artwork. Many of these students leave Art Appreciation hungering for more knowledge about artwork, wanting to expand their horizons from Europe to encompass the works produced by African or Asian cultures. But Stuyvesant currently has no art history classes besides Art Appreciation. This situation could easily be fixed by the introduction of an AP Art History course, a class with a curriculum already designed by the college board. In addition to including art from non-European countries, the course can also focus on lesser known artists, and more time can be spent on artists that have only been touched upon. In addition, since there is already a burgeoning artistic culture in Stuyvesant, the class can allow more students to explore art in a classroom setting. The creation of more art history classes can also supplement a topic that is barely discussed in our history classes.

Philosophy: Metaphysics and Epistemology But… why? And there you have it: philosophy in a nutshell. From the ancient Greek for “love of wisdom,” philosophy is omnipresent in our lives: it deals with how we think, what we think, how things are and what we do. It deals with all the big issues, too: Does God exist? Do we have free will? What’s the purpose of life? What’s our purpose in life? Even, is this all a dream? Many of those questions are addressed in either the branch of epistemology, the theory of knowledge (how do we know the things that we know? and anyway, what do we now?), and that of metaphysics (what is the nature of reality? what’s even there, outside of my own mind… and can I even say that exists?). While Matthew Polazzo’s Western Political Thought class does a fair synopsis of political philosophy and Peter Brooks’s Human Reasoning touches on a wide variety of related issues, we have no class for students to attempt to dabble in philosophy of a more pure sort—especially unfortunate, given that there is little to no other exposure in our high school careers. From Aristotle and Plato to Kant and Hume to Nietzsche and Camus, there are thousands of years’ worth of thought to explore. Though finding a teacher might be of slight difficulty (JonAlf Dyrland-Weaver and Joseph Stern spring to mind as possibilities, having studied philosophy in university), the breadth and depth of a potential class has an irresistible allure.

Film History Stuyvesant offers over twenty-five English courses dedicated to the study of books, but none dedicated to the study of film — a medium which has had a profound impact on society in the past decade. As movies are becoming more relevant in today’s world of entertainment, it’s integral that a class be dedicated to the way film has evolved since its invention in the 1890s. A film history class would be a comprehensive history of movies, both high budget Hollywood films and independent films. The class would start in the early years of Hollywood in the beginning of the twentieth century and move all the way through the present. Because movies were not made to be watched over a span of four days in 30 minute intervals, class time would not be spent watching movies. The class homework would be watch a movie over a weekend, and the following week would be spent discussing the movie, the actors and actresses, the director, the style, the themes, and why it is important in the American movie canon—with such analysis in the end being presented as a paper on each film. This class is important because movies are as much a part of our culture as anything else. There are characters that epitomize eras and quotes that become part of everyday speech. Who hasn’t seen Gene Kelly spinning around a street light in the rain, or Indiana Jones running away from a boulder, or Matthew Broderick singing Twist and Shout? And if you haven’t then what better an opportunity to find out than a Film History class.

Military History “I really love all the questions, but we have to move on. You guys know I could talk about [insert famous war] for a whole semester, but we’re already behind.” How many dozens of times have we all heard this? It seems like every history teacher wishes he or she had more class time to dive into the intricacies of war: leadership, logistics, military doctrine, the home front, the causes and effects of warfare, as well as simply tactics and strategy. Yet there’s never enough time in a semester or year to cover such a broad topic. Warfare has thoroughly permeated modern and ancient history. It has raised nations out of the depths of economic depression and driven empires to their knees, and even a superficial understanding of history would be incomplete without an understanding of how the art of war has affected mankind. Even more importantly, there seems to be a desire for such a class amongst both the faculty and student body. History teachers David Hanna and Dr. Lisa Greenwald, for example, have shown much enthusiasm when teaching about war, and students would be thoroughly engaged in a class of this nature, if the plethora of questions that come up whenever battles are discussed in class is to be any indicator. We’ve already seen widespread success with Kerry Trainor’s elective on government intelligence; this seems sure to be the same.

The Rise and Fall of Empire “A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges,” Benjamin Franklin once said. And how dismal his witticism truly is: dismal, because it’s true. How fantastic it might have been had the Roman Empire continued on forever, centurions marching in rank through the highlands of modernday Tibet. There is always a fascination with the great empires: the Han, Charlemagne, the Ottomans, the Mongols. They bring to mind the majesty of history, of civilizations that once dominated the world. They’ve also spawned countless video games and simulations: from Sid Meyer’s Civilization series to TV show after TV show. It is this grandeur that attracts not just the thinking mind, but also the imagination. Certainly, a class on the subject would draw a wide audience. It could cover many civilizations—or just go in-depth on a few—and explore the sociological, political, economic and military factors behind their rises and declines. Trends could be analyzed through history, and similarities noted: for instance, between Rome then and America today. There is endless literature on the topic and any teacher (most members of the history department seem well-versed in empire, though again, David Hanna seems a strong candidate) could draw from that or his or her own vision. There is also room here for incorporation of other outlooks than pure Eurocentricism: empires in Asia and the Americas have dominated as well. If done right, this is a course that wouldn’t just be educational, but could easily be fascinating and engaging as well.

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African Culture

It’s easy to walk through three years of high school history classes at Stuyvesant without spending more than two weeks’ worth of class time on African history. The fact that the events occurring over a thousand years throughout the entire African continent are condensed into a mere six hours indicates that there is a large gap in students’ knowledge of world history. This is one of the major reasons why Stuyvesant needs to offer a course in African culture. High school is about learning who you are, about preparing you for your future, about learning how to do simple calculus, but, more than anything, it is about exposing you to things you’ve never experienced before so that you can be a more knowledgeable person. African culture is influential, important, and frequently neglected—as much as, if not more than, Jewish History or the specific structure of modern-day China. The course would cover the history and traditions that have shaped African culture, from the ancient world through the twentieth century. There would be special emphasis on African art, religion, and ritual, and how these influenced the world through trade and colonization. The class would be interesting and unconventional, as the lack of literacy in many parts of ancient Africa would force us to turn to more tangible artifacts. We have history classes about almost every continent––it’s time we explored that which has been ignored for centuries.

Medieval Literature & Fairy Tales

When Petrarch dubbed medieval times “The Dark Ages,” he was definitely making a mistake. The era—while, yes, a bit shabby when it comes to levels of literacy, and the general state of a person’s self worth, et cetera—was a beautiful time for stories. Folklore bursting with the mysticism that lurked in the emerald forests, and the steamy romances that bloomed between maidens and their beloved warrior knights, served a source of glittery escapism then, and are no less captivating in the modern age. An integral part of being a teenager is being fed up with the mundane world you live in—and being given a portal to transport yourself to a completely new and fantastical world is something that would be attractive to many members of the student body. A “Medieval Literature and Fairy Tales” class would explore the hilariously raunchy idiosyncratic gems dispersed throughout Chaucer’s “The Canterbury Tales,” Dante’s mystifying understanding of the world in “The Divine Comedy,” and countless other works that are each express the radically different, but undeniably enthralling attitude of the era. Examining the medieval attitudes on a more in-depth level would also add all sorts of color and dimension to our basic understanding of the medieval attitude, which we only scratched the surface of in our history classes.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 13

Opinions

Zhixing Che / The Spectator

Perception: A Barricade Towards Progress

By Nina Uzoigwe

In middle school, when doing research regarding preferred high schools, you probably watched out for big turn-offs. Surfing the Internet, you skimmed websites, reviews, and articles, briefly providing commentary on how people felt about each school. Whether it was through the curriculum or the environment, you wanted to ensure that your future high school was the one for you.

While I’m not satisfied with the demographics in each classroom, being the only black kid isn’t that bad.

But when I was reading articles on minorities’ experiences in prestigious schools, I realized that what’s generally expressed is that they feel unwelcome, alone, and different because of their skin color.Because of this, many get the impression that this is what it means to be black or Hispanic at Stuyvesant, although most online articles were published years ago. In a 2012 New York Times article, graduating senior Rudi-Ann Miller describes being black at Stuyvesant as standing out due to scarcity. Rudi even states that the Asians are “just everywhere,” mentions going hours without seeing another person of her race, and, because the school’s attendance has pictures, teachers quickly recognizing her due to the color of her skin. Another article responded to a racist video posted on YouTube in 2011. The article states that the video, featuring four white Stuyvesant students rapping freestyle, is filled with racially inflamed, hurtful comments. The article also references a mother who complained that her son, Michael Bucaoto, a bi-racial Stuyvesant alumnus, felt unwel-

come as a result of his race. These readily available articles are extremely discouraging for a child of colored heritage, as they prevent them from looking at the modern-day situation. Though very few black students are enrolled at Stuyvesant, and fewer enroll every year, I find the environment here to be very different from the one described in 2011 and 2012. As a freshman, I was worried about the stereotypical views I heard from my middle school teachers and classmates, as many of my friends said that I wouldn’t belong, simply because I’m black. But, over the course of the first week, I became oblivious to the color of my skin.

There’s nothing to do other than continue pushing toward the greater good, despite the current ignorance.

Since many people say that Asians are naturally gifted when it comes to learning, I was shocked to learn that intelligence isn’t about being naturally gifted, but a question of how hard you work. At Stuyvesant, everyone has to try hard in order to be ahead, and that opportunity is given to all students—in-

cluding those of black and Hispanic heritage—through tools like free tutoring programs after school. I also began to realize that the people here are just like me. We all go through the same struggles while studying, the same drama. Despite the intense competition, people are willing to help out, explaining problems and catching you up if you’re absent. While I’m not satisfied with the demographics in each classroom, being the only black kid isn’t that bad. You’re not excluded from any activities, and making close friends depends not on the color of your skin, but on your personality. In order to alter the demographics, however, we shouldn’t advocate for changing the Specialized High School Admissions Test (SHSAT) so that more blacks and Hispanics will be accepted. Altering the exam to fit lower educational standards in order to increase diversity is racist in itself. The only way to increase the number of black kids in a school like Stuyvesant is to implement programs helping low-income students strive for higher scores on the SHSAT. This is encouraged through Stuyvesant’s adolescent community program, SPARK, coordinated by Angel Colon. Colon, who has made remarkable changes at Stuyvesant in the past decade, plans to reach out to students who fit this profile, establishing a tutoring system, led by Stuyvesant students, to prepare them for the admissions test. Unfortunately, very few people outside Stuyvesant recognize this positive shift, being blinded by stories from previous years. People are quick to note the bad, but refuse to acknowledge the beneficial efforts of students

and staff members working to make Stuyvesant a more accepting place. Because such a small number of black students are admitted into Stuyvesant, it’s important that they don’t drop the offer because they’re afraid that the articles they read are accurate. This is more important than it may seem—if fewer black and Hispanic minorities are afraid of being alone, they could encourage the arrival of many others.

Altering the SHSAT to fit lower educational standards in order to increase diversity is racist in itself.

If we wish to address these problems, we must continue working for the greater good, despite current ignorance. In order to do this, clubs within SPARK and organizations and schools outside of Stuyvesant, should recruit more members and enact Colon’s proposition, which is working to establish a greater presence within and outside of Stuyvesant. In time, these efforts will increase the number of blacks and Hispanics within Stuy’s walls.

Fifty Shades of Catastrophe Throughout our lives we have heard many conflicting views about sex from our parents and our teachers. Some advocate for abstinence, while others advocate for safe sex. But what is hardly ever brought up is consensual sex. When health teachers discuss what healthy sex looks like, various types of protection

We’ll press the fast-forward button in real life, skipping over asking for consent altogether because it isn’t a part of the sex scenes we see on the screen.

are discussed in great detail, but consent never works its way into the conversation. Since our parents and teachers aren’t talking to us about consent, we get the in-

formation from another source: the media. And the kind of sex glorified by the media tends, more often than not, to be nonconsensual. In the new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the protagonist, Anna, is presented with a contract that binds her to agreeing to any sexual act her partner Christian Grey wishes to engage in. In an attempt to satisfy him, Anna signs the contract. That sounds like consent, right? Not so fast. A contract may seem like the most concrete version of consent, but in reality it prevents true consent rather than securing it. True consent means making sure that your partner is comfortable with what’s going on, giving him or her a chance to say that he or she is uncomfortable, and showing him or her that you care about how he or she feels in a moment of intimacy. That doesn’t necessarily mean blatantly asking if he or she is okay with every single move you make; consent just asks that you give him or her the opportunity to say no—either verbally or with body language— and to respect him or her if they do. Anna could not have known when she signed the contract how she would feel as she was having sex with Christian in the future, and when Christian pressured her into signing the contract, he closed off her option to withdraw consent. Contrary to what “Fifty Shades” seems to teach us, true consent comes with the understanding that it can be withdrawn at any point. It’s really difficult to pull away and say that you are not okay with what is happening,

especially when your partner isn’t giving you the opportunity to do so. In most movies and TV shows, on the rare occasion that withdrawing consent is portrayed, it

True consent means making sure that your partner is comfortable with what’s going on, giving him or her a chance to say that he or she is uncomfortable, and showing him or her that you care about how he or she feels in a moment of intimacy. “ruins the moment.” An episode of the popular show “Gossip Girl” features an almost-sex scene between characters Jenny Humphrey and Damian Dalgaard.

When Jenny decides that she isn’t ready to lose her virginity to Damian, he calls her a child and walks out. This mindset is part of why so many victims of rape end up feeling like it’s their fault for not being cooperative or romantic enough. In reality, the moment was ruined as soon as personal boundaries were overstepped. It’s also important to remember that consent needs to be given in every situation, regardless of intimacy. Making sure someone is okay with kissing is just as important as making sure they are okay with sex. An unwanted sexual encounter doesn’t have to be considered “rape” for it to have serious emotional repercussions, so it’s important to prevent them as much as possible by normalizing consent as a part of intimacy. We’re all getting our cues from what we read and watch, and if movies like “Fifty Shades” present this skewed v i sion o f sex, then we’ll act on it. We’ll press t h e fast-forward button in real life, skipping over asking for consent altogether because it isn’t a part of the sex scenes we see on the screen. The solution to this problem is simple: main-

stream media need to portray consent as a necessary part of sex. It’s time for the media to change how we talk about sex so that there are no more gray areas.

Miranda Luong / The Spectator

By Inbar Pe’er and Mika Simoncelli

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 14

Opinions What Having an Eating Disorder Taught Me If there’s anything I love more than writing and boys, it’s food. Chipotle is like my second home, and if I had the means and money I would buy everything at my local Trader Joe’s. When I received a thousand dollars in birthday money two years ago, I blew it in three months on quesadillas at Ferry’s. You see, good food is a luxury, and I was one to frequently indulge. Maybe that explains why I was overweight for most of my life. Every time I went to the doctor, awaiting the number on the scale was a painful few minutes. Predicting the outcome was easy; each visit I was a few pounds heavier and my physician would lecture me about healthy eating and the importance of exercise. The advice went in one ear and out the other, but I would be sure to nod every once in a while to give off the impression that I was taking her words into consideration. Then I would go home and do absolutely nothing. For sixteen years, that was my pattern. It was a dangerous one, but whenever I’d try to change my diet I would cave and mess up horribly. I also had so many other internal problems to deal with that how I looked didn’t take priority. Unfortunately in my junior year, all these obstacles be-

gan to accumulate and my stress level was at its highest; right when I came to the realization that college was around the corner and I had been doing nothing but failing miserably, I began to observe the people around me, noticing their successes and smarts and social standings. For some stupid, unexplainable reason, I got the idea that it was a consequence of being skinny. It was a dumb comparison. It was irrational and ridiculous and made the least bit of sense, but being a naïve teenager often does that to you—you believe what you think you have to believe to achieve what you think you have to achieve. And at that moment, I’d found my detrimental catalyst, a faux realization of sorts that propelled me into what is commonly dubbed a “downward spiral.” The spiral lasted seven months. In those 200 days I ate the bare minimum. I obsessively tracked my calories and refused to eat anything remotely greasy. I cut my portions in half and tried to drink more coffee to suppress my hunger. I didn’t exercise because I couldn’t balance it with homework and testing. I lost thirty-six pounds. By September, however, I was terrified of eating. Terrified in that way that shakes you and makes you so insanely worried

about gaining all the weight back that you keep a little black notebook in your backpack to write down everything you’ve eaten in a day. Terrified in a way that makes you Google the fat content of every single thing you put in your mouth, even if it’s a pretzel from a Chex Mix bag left on the table. Terrified in a way that makes you want to cry if you’re forced to eat a plate of rice for dinner because it’s loaded with carbohydrates. Terrified because yes, maybe you know you have some kind of problem, but you don’t know who to tell or, more importantly, what to say. So I didn’t say anything. I never felt inclined to—or comfortable to, for that matter. I never felt like whatever was going on was something discussable or even appropriate. I was worried about being judged or mocked or ridiculed. And just the fact that I felt that way highlights a destructive circumstance for the teenage population: it’s the idea that talking about your emotional problems is blasphemous—that you can’t discuss what you’ve gone through without looking like you want attention. That your issues will just be minimized if someone pretends that he or she cares anyway, or worse, that they won’t be taken seriously. To put it simply, the conversation never starts be-

Zovinar Khrimian / The Spectator

“Fencing In” the Next Generation

By Raniyan Zaman

From having our phones confiscated to being unable to apply to a program we’re interested in, at some point, every adolescent has felt restricted by overprotective parents. Parents who have too heavy an influence in decisions their children should be making and who micromanage every part of their child’s life— from social circles to leisure activities—are preventing their children from exploring their own identities, which can be very harmful as they grow up. The parent-child dynamic has been discussed extensively over the past few decades, with both child and parent lamenting over each other’s lack of cooperation. Most parents believe they “know what’s best” for their children. Although it comes from good intentions—and is probably mostly true—this mentality can stifle a child’s decision-making abilities. At a school like Stuyvesant, that might mean restricting a child’s academic freedom by picking which electives and AP classes they take, or even planning out a career path for them. Parents have aspirations for their children, but these often don’t align with their children’s dreams. And children, who want to make their parents proud, may watch their

own dreams fall as they struggle to meet their parents’ unfair expectations. Restricting a child’s freedom can have devastating repercussions on his or her development, from emotional setbacks to lack of physical fitness. According to a 2013 study conducted by the Journal of Child and Family Studies, excessive parental involvement in a child’s life did more harm than good, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety, and incompetence. For example, overprotective parenting might manifest itself through not letting a child go outside on his or her own (out of fear for the child’s safety). These children must resort to activities confined to the indoors, such as playing video games. Their lifestyles may lack exercise and an appropriate diet—problems which directly contribute to obesity. This is borne out in the data. For instance, the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children in 2014 concluded that sheltered children had a 13 percent higher risk of obesity than children whose parents weren’t overprotective. Parents also have the opportunity to teach their children responsibility, and to instill discipline at a young age. For example, parents might try to kick their kids out of the “nest” a little

sooner by allowing them to travel alone and develop familiarity with their environment. Learning how to ride the subway alone in a big city like New York is essential to becoming more street-smart. But children who have been relatively sheltered until they leave for college will be thoroughly unprepared to deal with the real world. Similarly, dominating a child’s academic choices inhibits their intellectual growth and curiosity. Everyone deserves the opportunity to pursue their passion, but with a parent dictating one’s interests, a child is confined to an unproductive future that benefits no one. The ideal solution would be for parents to let kids explore their physical and academic environments. There are boundaries that shouldn’t be tested when exploring physical surroundings. As for the academic realm, the best a parent can do is understand the variety of dreams people strive for and accept them all, rather than pressuring their children to follow one specific route. Helping a child cultivate their interests will ensure that they use their unique talents to make an impact. However, this isn’t to say that parents should give free rein to their children and allow them to govern their own lives completely. This is tantamount to child neglect; adolescents might succumb to peer pressure and get into dangerous situations. Thus, what a parent really needs to do is to exercise discipline in moderation. A parent isn’t there to dictate a child’s life, but rather to offer guidance, encouragement, and support; to watch from the backseat instead of taking the wheel. There will always be a risk, but stepping out into the world is the best preparation a child can receive for obstacles they will inevitably encounter. Parents need to let go of their child’s hand, step back, and watch them cross the street, or their child may never learn to look both ways.

cause we fear its outcome. But that should never be the case. In our high school years, we are at our most vulnerable— rapidly growing and learning and discovering new things. Call it cheesy or cliché, but high school experiences shape a person more than any others. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day in freshman year when a fellow classmate and his sophomore friends poked fun at my size. I still have the messages saved: “Hey the jumping in the elevator is that what brought it down I know you yourself make up 4/5 of the capacity of the elevator i bet if you were skinny, you’d only be an a cup.” Why did I never tell anyone? Even now, I wonder if there was any way things could’ve turned out differently—if I had spotted my own warning signs before the situation went out of my control. If I had confided in someone, both three years ago and last. If I could’ve found help at Stuyvesant or somewhere else. If I could’ve prevented it entirely. I’ve come to the conclusion that there wasn’t. There is only so much a person can blame on their surroundings; I can say a hundred times that it was because of Stuyvesant’s atmo-

sphere or its people that I began to loathe myself, but self-delusion was just as much of a factor. As was what contemporary media and society projects as the perfect body or the perfect person. In the 50s it was curves like those of Marilyn Monroe. Today, it’s thigh gaps and flat stomachs. I spent hours flipping through magazines and watching television that called the skinniest women the most beautiful. Now I’ve learned to disagree. In all honesty, things have yet to get 100 percent better. I still carry that book around with me—old habits die hard. And I still want to lose weight, but healthily through exercise and portion control. At the same time, I want to be able to go to Gee Whiz with my friends and devour all the cheese fries in the world. Months after I came to terms with my eating disorder, I found out that I had peers who had once dealt with the same thing. They too never told anyone, suffering on their own. They shouldn’t have. They should’ve felt safe in telling other people. They should’ve been able to ask for help. But for that to ever happen, help has to be offered. The stigma has to be killed. We hold true that change starts with a single step. We need to take that step.

Paying the Price Melanie Chow / The Spectator

By Maisha Kamal

By Justin Kong SING!, the largest student-run production at Stuyvesant High School, has been an annual tradition for years. The excitement of a “battle of the grades” attracts hundreds of students, encouraging the sharing of talent through dance, song, and theater. Due to this large fanbase, tickets have to be sold at fairly high prices so that the number of people in the theater can be limited and controlled. Priced at either $15 or $25, tickets are sold to pay for production expenses and future SING! funding. However, since cast and crew receive priority, tickets for the more popular Friday and Saturday shows sell out very quickly. Since these sales end so rapidly, online ticket sales are frequently the only option for non-participating students who would like to see the performance. Resellers exploit the high demand for tickets by jacking up their prices to ridiculous amounts. During SING! week, some tickets were resold, or ‘scalped’ for almost $80. This abuse ruins the spirit and meaning behind SING!—students working together to make a production for their friends and family to enjoy. Regardless of social circles, SING! is able to incorporate all of our various talents. The effort and love every student puts into SING! should not be taken advantage of in order to make a profit. Never is there more camaraderie at Stuy than during SING! season. To work towards fixing this problem, the administration must

alter its methods for selling SING! tickets. For example, setting up a link on Student Tools where students can buy SING! tickets would be fairer than the current system. Students and parents would be able to have the same opportunity to purchase tickets and it would be much easier to do so. Cast and crew members would still be able to receive priority purchasing, as the administration could make the link available to them before sales became public. The students’ family members deserve the chance to see them show off their hard work. This, however, does not prevent popular SING! performance days from selling out to family members. Instead, the administration should set a limit amount of tickets that can be sold to the cast and crew for popular performance times. In addition, the school should promise to buy back tickets that are not being used, so they can be resold to students who really want to watch the show. SING! tickets have proven to be a major hassle for parents and students every year. This is why our SING! policy must be reformed. Stuyvesant students are not blood-related, but, as a community, we are a family. Through the school year, we see each other at our worst and best moments, and SING! should be no exception. SING! is not just a competition. It is a time when Stuyvesant school spirit truly shines and everyone can come together to forget about the stress of school. All students should be given an equal chance to see this spectacle.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 15

Opinions

Luna Oiwa / The Spectator

Don’t Hold Your Breath

By Dong Shin Every year, we hear about how climate changes and greenhouse gases will ruin the world. And as we finally move past a long, cold winter, we approach a summer that will probably seem hotter than any before it. Interestingly, however, last year things were a bit different. In 2014, for the first time ever, global carbon emission rates did not increase. In fact, according to the International Energy Agency, in 2014, emission rates were equal to those of the previous year. This may seem like positive news, as these rates have been increasing for decades. However, the trend

is only temporary, and, unless many countries reform emissions policies, climate change will continue to exacerbate. Before now, the only years with lower emission rates were 1992 and 2009—both preceded by global economic troub l e s — n a m e l y, the collapse of Soviet Union and the 2008 financial crisis. However, in 2014 the world economy suffered no major collapse. In fact, it grew by three percent, showing that it is possible for the economy to continue growing without harming the environment any further. This concept has been demonstrated by many developed countries over the past decade, including the US, where, since 2007, emission rates have been decreasing by more than 8 percent. Also, total carbon emission from many EU countries has been decreasing since 2006, while economic growth averaged at 0.8 percent. Though most developed countries are lowering their emission rates, developing countries’ rates are, for the most part, still rapidly rising—except, perhaps, China’s.

While China’s emissions in 2014 decreased by one percent, it is very unlikely that this trend will continue. There was a 2.5 percent dip in China’s coal use which is temporary, as it was driven by record low growth in carbon-intensive electricity, steel, and cement production. Those industries need to be in a constant slump for the low growth to continue. For a country that still shows one of the highest economic growth rates, such an expectation is unreasonable. In addition, there was an usually high output of hydroelectricity. Hydroelectricity is limited by usable water reservoirs, which fluctuate from year to year, so it is fairly unpredictable. In other words, the statistics from 2014 are not necessarily indicative of a larger trend. Of course, the world is not just twiddling its thumbs as the Earth gets closer and closer to destruction. International treaties, such as the Kyoto Protocol, have set a target for emission decrease, as well as a temperature rise threshold for Earth. Though most countries agree to a common temperature rise threshold, it is very likely that the global temperature will rise past their target. This is primarily a result of developed countries’ inaction. One of the ways to see how carbon emissions will affect global temperature is by measuring global carbon intensity. Research firm PricewaterhouseCooper (PwC) recently published a report on carbon intensity, the amount of carbon emitted per dollar of GDP, stating that from 2000 to 2013, the global carbon

intensity declined by 0.9 percent. However, PwC projects that the global carbon intensity needs to decrease by 6.2 percent every year until 2100 to stay under the threshold. The report also predicts that the global temperature could rise to twice the threshold temperature if the current trend continues. The world is not taking sufficient actions; in most countries, decreases are far too low— at most, three percent—and, in some countries, like the US, intensity is still steadily increasing.

This is in no way close to the 6.2 percent target decrease required to meet the globally established temperature threshold.

Of course, this is not to say that the world is completely

hopeless. The 2014 emission flatline is an improvement from previous years. There is still time for countries to work together to turn this plateau into a significant decrease, through reforms like switching to low carbon sources, such as nuclear power and renewables, as primary sources of energy. One major source of carbon emission is transportation. In order to limit exhaust, the government should invest in electric vehicle research and provide more significant funding for public transportation in the US. World leaders should also enact policies that will help reduce carbon emissions, including the implementation of a carbon tax. Such a tax was already established in British Columbia, causing per capita fuel consumption to decrease by 17 percent. Carbon tax levied on other countries would drastically reduce global carbon emission. In addition, developed countries should provide economic aid through technology transfer. Developing countries frequently rely on carbon-intensive electricity and industries, but acquiring newer, low-carbon technologies from advanced countries could increase economic growth without contributing significantly to global carbon emissions. These reforms will only become a reality through increased international cooperation. However, this is a long-term change that will not occur in the next couple of decades. At the moment, the most important thing is that we don’t delude ourselves into thinking that our work is done.

The War that Never Ends

Justin Chan / The Spectator

ships and submarines, 110 aircrafts, 3,000 vehicles, and 45,000 soldiers. The most notable part of this exercise was the deployment of Tu-22M3 long-range strategic bombers to Crimea, which openly invoked the threat of nuclear war. NATO responded to these exercises with an ex-

By Scott Fairbanks On November 7, 1983, the United States was on the verge of full-scale nuclear war with the Soviet Union. The Kremlin had interpreted the advancing NATO military exercise Able Archer 83, which involved the all-encompassing simulation of a nuclear attack on Russia, as a preemptive nuclear strike in disguise. It responded by loading a dozen aircrafts in East Germany and Poland with nuclear missiles, and placing ballistic nuclear missiles in several submarines under the Arctic, all of which were placed on high alert until November 11 when the drill ended. This almost cataclysmic encounter was not merely a miscommunication of intent, but the result of a cycle of conflict and military chauvinism. These tensions accompanied by dangerous shows of force serve to characterize the period of fear and tension now cemented in history books as the Cold War. The Cold War, however, is

far from over. Instead, NATO and Russia continue engaging in military exercises that are often wrongly dismissed as vestiges of a long past age when nationalism was at its height and presidents had their fingers on red buttons. Rather, these contemporary military exercises follow the same pattern that they did before the collapse of the Soviet Union: points of geopolitical contention followed by displays of military power. The most prominent example of this is in Ukraine. Ever since Russia annexed the Crimean Peninsula on March 19, 2014, the West has been imposing harsh sanctions on Russia targeted at its largest banks and its oil exploration and drilling projects. A year later, Russian discontent had grown rapidly as punitive sanctions mount and the Russian economy worsened. On March 16, 2015, Russia launched a military exercise commensurate with its dissatisfaction with further sanctions: the Kremlin deployed 50 surface

Although many believe that global politics has advanced beyond the nationalistic militarism of the late 20th century, to some extent Russia and the West have been locked in the same perpetual and irreconcilable standoff since the end of World War II.

ercise of its own, deploying the Standing NATO Maritime Group Two, a collection of warships, into the Black Sea. Both exercises send the same message: Russia and NATO are prepared for war. Significantly, Russia and the United States have retained sizable armed forces, which further illustrate not only their willingness, but also their ability to fight. Although Russia does not rival the US economically, its armed forces are twice as big as those of the US, reaching almost two million active and reserve personnel. Meanwhile, the United States, despite numerous defense cuts, still spends more than 600 billion dollars on defense. In addition, the United States and Russia have a combined 15,000 nuclear warheads, which makes up more than 90 percent of the world’s nuclear weapons. And although President Obama hopes to eventually establish a world free of nuclear weapons, the United States continues to use its nuclear deterrent as a central aspect of its foreign policy. The widespread fear and anticipation associated with the Cold War Era may have mostly dissipated, but the geopolitical tensions remain. Both Russia and NATO continue to use demonstrations of force as an instrument of international policy. Although many believe that global politics has advanced beyond the nationalistic militarism of the late 20th century, to some extent Russia and the West have been locked in the same perpetual and irreconcilable standoff since the end of World War II. Both have demonstrated that they have capabilities to go to

war, especially to protect their interests. Whether they will actually go these lengths is the great and enduring question of the Cold War.

The military exercises that are going on now follow the same pattern that they did before the collapse of the Soviet Union. Points of geopolitical contention are followed by displays of military power.

Although the threat of mutual annihilation is very formidable, a nuclear war is not outside the realm of possibilities. We must not ignore the enduring fault lines between the Western powers and Russia, nor underestimate the destructive nature of man.

Page 16

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

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The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 17

Arts and Entertainment Books

An Ode to the Odious Kurt Vonnegut Kurt Vonnegut passed away on April 11, 2007 at the ripe old age of 84. In order to commemorate his deathiversary—or, rather, to celebrate his life—we have put together a spread to honor him, and, of course, defame him. So it goes.

An Excerpt From The Portable Vonnegut By Danielle Eisenman FROM The Literary Science: Kurt Aphorisms for the Common Man [84] Dreaming about avocados. The indulgence in the novels of Vonnegut, like any nature’s butter-based fantasy, never ceases to be a colorfully ambrosial delight.

The Pilgrimage By Jenny Jiang Alicia Kwok / The Spectator

Tweet @RealBillyPilgrim “Returned to Tralfamadore today! Learned something new. War, death, and other sometimes bad things aren’t a big deal. #EverythingIsEternal. Moments all exist together!!!”

From the Man Himself: Five Life Lessons from Kurt Vonnegut

From the Man Himself: A Rearranged Epitaph

Haiku for Billy

Compiled by ARIELLA KAHAN 1. I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different. 2. Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.” 3. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. 4. Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely noth ing. 5. I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

Two Poems Compiled by Alicia Kwok

By Jenny Jiang

THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC.

Natural state of… peculiarity? Coping with PTSD?

By Alicia Kwok De mortuis ni nisi bonum. Oh, my friend, had you loved and won. Hello, babies! God bless you, Mister Rosewater. I laughed the first time.

And Then You Feel the Beet By ALICIA KWOK Kurt Vonnegut wrote a terrible number of things, and the ones I’ve sampled thus far are truly, ravishingly terrible as advertised. Once, he said we were dancing animals. Another time, he said that peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God, which sounds good to me.

Alicia Kwok / The Spectator

The fact that this sounds really very good to me has a lot to do with the reason I highly recommend the practice of impromptu interpretive dance. A quick tutorial: 1. Decide that right now would be a great time for some impromptu interpretive dance. Examples of where you may be right now include visiting elderly relatives, scav enging for breakfast with the roaming riffraff of the early morning, haggling with teachers over trivialities, and hiding from the monster in your closet. 2. Wiggle any number of limbs and appendages experimentally. 3. Feel the beet. It will have leafy bits coming out the top, and will mostly feel like something that is round and purple. The bottom is pointy, which means it will also serve as an excellent weapon with which to confront eldritch monsters. 4. Go full wiggle. The more you flop limply, the less energy you’ll have to worry about yourself looking foolish. 5. Enjoy yourself. The more you enjoy yourself, the less foolish you feel. 6. The less foolish you feel, the less foolish you look. Another thing, because Vonnegut wanted it written down, and it can’t hurt to write it down again: History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. Actually, just go and read yourself some Kurt Vonnegut. For the record, reading any thing is more fun when you perform the text to yourself. This includes study guides, recipes, and those little signs they stick under the paintings in museums. Combine that with some impromptu interpretive dance in Copenhagen, and you’re going to make one spectacular dancing animal.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 18

Arts and Entertainment Movie

Our Own Cinderella By Sunjay Lee Cinderella is undoubtedly one of the more popular Disney princesses of all time. The announcement of a 2015 remake of the animation along with its star-studded cast featuring Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, and Derek Jacobi meant that the original animation film was being brought to real life as a modern take on the classic. All eyes were on Cinderella, the now human version of the perfect, kind princess. The movie was stunning and offered modern humor that was seamlessly blended with the lasting themes of courage, kindness, and magic. “Cinderella” gained anticipation as a remake, but also gained criticism before its premiere because of Cinderella (Lily James)’s seemingly unrealistic waist; critics argued that it promoted an unhealthy body image. James replied by pointing out, “Why on earth are we focusing on something so irrelevant?” And after watching the movie, I must say I agree. The audience, especially during Cinderella’s entrance with her beautiful ocean-blue gown, was not focused on her corset-tied clinched waist, they were concentrated on the magical tension and connection between Cinderella and the Prince. The movie did not impose a harmful body image—it merely em-

phasized Cinderella’s moment of spotlight, away from her terrible stepmother and sisters. Lily James’ performance as Cinderella was not impeccable, but definitely praiseworthy. She portrayed Cinderella without any awkward or hesitant actions and fully embraced the role. There were moments, however, when her actions seemed too dramatic. During the scene when her stepmother rips her gown to prevent her from attending the ball, James drops down to her knees and starts sobbing. Although the action seemed a bit more appropriate for a musical, her distress was conveyed well to the audience. The stepsisters, Anastasia (Holliday Grainger) and Drizella (Sophie McShera), with their histrionic actions and over-thetop costumes underscored the importance of inner beauty as a reflection of outer beauty. Grainger and McShera’s performance as the silly and ignorant stepsisters brought comic relief to the audience with their matching gowns and scratching high-pitched voices in contrast to the purely evil stepmother, played by Blanchett. Blanchett’s cutting death stares and red lips emphasized her malicious motives. Another highlight from the actors was Helena Bonham Carter, who played the role of the fairy godmother. Her dra-

matic and sarcastic comments made her the perfect 21st century fairy godmother—if she had not been magical, she could have been the “cool aunt.” Ella’s entire transformation, overseen and hilariously put together by Carter’s acting, amassed to be an emotional scene for the audience. From the pumpkin carriage to the goose driver, the special effects added the final touch to make the magic seem real. The costumes were a significant part of the movie—there was a wide variety ranging from traditional English stockings for the men to tight corsets for the women. The prince (Richard Madden) and his officers wore incredibly tight pants throughout the entire movie, and their royal designs upon their jackets gave off regal and sometimes haughty vibes, especially well portrayed by the Grand Duke (Stellan Skarsgard). The costumes mostly were made of royal blue and gold colors, complemented by white. The stepsisters’ dresses were hilarious and quite tacky, but intentionally so. Their matching polka dot dresses to the ball was especially tasteless. On the other hand, the amazingly crafted blue dress for Ella was exactly like one out of every little girl’s dream; the

sparkles in her hair and décolleté perfectly matched her shimmering and luxuriously fanned out dress. The costumes designer, Sandy Powell, is known for her amazing works in other films, such as “The Departed” and “The Wolf of Wall Street.” The remake placed a greater emphasis on morals and how kindness leads to happy endings, such as Ella’s marriage with the Prince. This 2015 remake combined the fairytale magic with the realistic depictions of Cinderella under the dictatorship of her stepmother. The emphasis is especially inspiring in carrying positive

messages to young children given the recent history of bullying in schools and society. The liveaction film evocates a sense of nostalgia among the seniors in the theater, and a wave of fascination for the young children who now remember Cinderella as the beautiful common girl who became the queen with her courage and kindness.

Zovinar Khrimian / The Spectator

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Page 19

Arts and Entertainment Theater

A Boy Is a Child; A Girl Is a Thing By Danielle Eisenman “You guys are all really wonderful!” English teacher Sophie Oberfield’s gentle voice couldn’t help but be buried under the millingaround-noises that filled Stuyvesant’s marble lobby on Wednesday, March 18. “And…” she paused to wait for the sound to die down, but began speaking as soon as she had acknowledged the historically inevitable ruckus that results from field trip-induced excitement. “And, I’m so excited to be experiencing this with you!” With that, Oberfield’s Asian American Literature class set off to the Manhattan Theatre Club for a student matinee showing of Frances Ya-Chu Cowhig’s new play, “The World of Extreme Happiness.” The play follows Sunny (Jennifer Lim), the show’s mousy but strong protagonist, as she embarks on a journey through modern China to prove her self worth, even though all odds are against her. As we made the trek down Chambers Street toward the subway station in the semi-chilly March weather, I settled into a comfy spot right behind two of the chaperones, Theater teacher Julie Sheinman and Principal Jie Zhang. The pair could have easily been mistaken for students, and, when I approached, they were engaged in some sort of adorable dialogue that involved Sheinman grumbling, “Ugh! My hair just has a mind of its own.” This adorableness continued to manifest itself when I inquired about the reasons behind this outing and Sheinman quickly replied, “Well, you know, Ms. Zhang just really wants to cut school.” But, in all seriousness, the motives behind seeing the show were mainly to expose Stuyvesant students to theater and to give them an opportunity to see actors that actually look like them, for once—the all-Asian cast is a lot more representative of Stuyvesant’s demographics than the usual all-white casts in offBroadway shows. Eventually, we all piled onto the R train, where I seized the opportunity to question various students about their expectations for the play. Junior Aritri Dutta told me about how the class had gone quite in-depth about the turmoil in China—from the Tiananmen Square massacre to the One Child Policy to the abortion of female children— as a context for the events in “The World of Extreme Happiness.” “We’re reading about all of this stuff in class,” explained junior Sorato Doken. “So it’s going to be really

cool to see it actually played out.” When we arrived at the Manhattan Theatre Club, we were greeted by the Director of Education David Shookhoff. Shookhoff, an elderly man in a slightly oversized tweed jacket, introduced the show with a few words that could only be geared toward our generation. “This is not television,” he said, with the kind of heartwarming condescension that your grandpa might employ when he sees your elbows on the Passover table. “This is not the Internet. This is a live event, and you will need to keep the chit-chat to a minimum, even at the moments where will want to giggle with the person next to you. Anyway, without further ado, I now present to you, ‘The World of Extreme Happiness.’”

as they all had hoped for months. Before tossing the baby (portrayed by a plastic doll wrapped in a Chinese newspaper) into a battered, rust-covered trash can, Sunny’s father (James Saito) declares, “A boy is a child; a girl is a thing.” Sunny’s mother mourns the loss of the beautiful boy that had occupied a huge space in her heart for the nine months while Sunny had occupied an equally large space in her belly, and the audience is left to ponder the Schrödinger’s Cat situation with the baby in the waste bin. Quite a bit of time passes, and, sure enough, there are still baby gurgling noises coming from the can. Sunny’s father grabs the baby in his hands with awesome disbelief and grants her the permission to live, mystified by her persistence.

Shookhoff’s words about giggling ring true from the very start of the play, which opens with a raunchy conversation between two men from a rural Chinese village. To give you a sense of the nature of this little chat, I’ll share with you the line that sparked the most covert snickering—“She laid a turd on my face, and it was salty and sweet—just like fermented tofu.” This exchange, like many others throughout the play, has a certain shocking vulgarity to it— you could even call it gratuitous. And you wouldn’t be alone in your opinion, either. Several schools had read the show’s script, and decided it was too much for their students to handle. Even Oberfield was reluctant to bring her class to see the play after seeing it the first time. However, it was her mother, who, after seeing the play with her daughter, convinced Oberfield that the show’s vulgarity was entirely sincere and well-placed. To not give the students the opportunity to see the show would be to deny them exposure to the reality of a situation that is both very real and very important. “The World of Extreme Happiness” is gritty, not only with respect to its dealings with consumption of fecal matter, but also discrimination based on gender, factory working conditions, and the Chinese government’s harrowing tactics for crushing the seeds of anything resembling a people’s uprising. The show begins in rural China with the birth of the main character, Sunny. Much to her family’s dismay, Sunny is female and not male,

Luna Oiwa / The Spectator

After the birth scene, we are transported to 2013, and we see Sunny in ill-fitting greenish garb (like scrubs, but for factory workers) as she mops a corner of the floor. She does this with the quiet humility of the obedient worker she is, in order to pay for her brother, Pete (Telly Leung), to go to school. Sunny’s quest to become someone, however, is catalyzed by her friendship with Ming-Ming (Jo Mei), a character as alarmingly effervescent as a can of grape soda that has been vigorously shaken for over an hour. Ming-Ming drags Sunny into her world of “personal power positions” and night school (which is designed to resemble some sort of cheaply ostentatious self-help teleseminar). An ivory-suit-clad Mr. Destiny (Francis Jue), whose artificially radiant smile and bald head make him seem like a skinny Mr. Clean, espouses echoey “Carpe

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Diem” mantras that lead Sunny to escape to the city, become the spokeswoman for her company (and, eventually, a protest), and end up beaten practically to death in a Chinese prison. This sequence of events is illustrated in a way that feels understated, and the brief, explosive moments of glittery atrocity seem like natural consequences of a situation that is, in many ways, atrocious. The set’s simplicity and charm complement the story perfectly. There is a scene that shows Sunny and Pete playing a video game, and the only decoration is a series of lights with primary colored-hues, whose flickering opaqueness illuminates the siblings as Pete explains the alienation he felt riding the bus to the city as a peasant surrounded by city kids. As Pete finishes relating to Sunny how the city kids treated him, he says, “They ate our brains,” with the same solemnity he used to tell his sister about the harrowing abuse he had faced on the bus. A confused Sunny inquires, “What?” Pete, however, is actually referring to the video game: “See, look! Game over. They ate our brains.” But, when I hear the way Leung says, “They ate our brains,” I can’t help but think about how the play ends. Sunny is in her prison cell, but she’s not really there—anything close to a sense of spirit has been vanquished. She has been so horribly injured, that it’s doubtful whether or not her brain still functions. The invisible force that is the eerily villainous Chinese government (an undeniable “they”) has eaten Sunny’s brain. The amount of heavy subject matter we were exposed to in “The World of Extreme Happiness” was extremely difficult to stomach. And so, we used the next day in class as a “Digestion Period” so students could make sense of what they had seen in the context of their own lives. Oberfield continually urged her students, “Don’t say what you think I want to hear. Say what you actually think.” And, unsurprisingly, most of the class’s disillusionment had to do with the last scene with Sunny in prison. Junior Pablo Blanco interpreted the ending to be a dream sequence, detached from reality. He talked about the presence of what appeared to be natural light that streamed through

the prison window and illuminated Sunny’s (virtually) dead body. Blanco also discussed the fact that Pete, who had taken a job as a janitor in the prison so he could be close to his sister, strangled his sister to death, and cited this as an unrealistically anticlimactic end to a play that is almost purely momentum, otherwise. In contrast, junior Tanjeel Murad thought the strangulation was inevitable. “He just killed her to spare her from the pain she was bound to face,” he explained. So they could have another outlet to express what they had seen, the students were asked to write three hundred-word monologues, each from the perspective of a relative from outside the United States, explaining their situation, in order to compare this to the lives of Stuyvesant students living in New York City. The next day in class, a few were performed by Moses Villarama, a Philippine actor from the Mah-Yi theater company. The subjects of these monologues were each unique interpretations of the prompt—one student wrote from the perspective of a teenage girl who had to protect her sister from their abusive father, while another voiced the jealousy of a village boy in Bangladesh who wanted nothing more than to have the opportunity to attend college in the United States. The students’ opportunity to explore their feelings about the play by crafting narratives—as I found out from a post-show, backstage chat—resonates with the way Leung navigates his own life. Leung, who graduated from Stuyvesant in 1998, explained that, in his time at the school, he noticed that all of his friends saw the world through physics and math. To them, everything had a numerical value—from the acceleration due to gravity to their own self worth. Leung, however, was different. He explained to me that he had never bought the idea that numerical values (i.e. grades) could be applied to the complexities of life because he had always seen the world through stories, which is why he decided to become an actor. After Stuyvesant, Leung went on to study drama at Carnegie Mellon University and pursue an acting career whose biggest hits include “Rent” on Broadway and several appearances on “Glee.” Although, that’s not to say that Leung had anything close to an aversion to his studies at Stuyvesant. In fact, the knowledge he gained from all his classes led to a heartier worldview that has enriched his ability to understand the roles he is given. “Smart actors,” he told me, “are good actors.”

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 20

Arts and Entertainment Music By Justin Pacquing “Eat Pray Thug” is an album of contradictions and the artist behind it, Stuyvesant Alumnus Himanshu Suri (‘03)—also known as Heems—is certainly no stranger to them. With former group Das Racist, Heems was at the forefront of ironic rap, or “Hipster Hop,” producing classics such as “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.” While the album’s title shows Heems has not lost his comedic touch, the debut solo-album now seeks to present the rapper as a more multidimensional artist. While one song may divulge his views on Islamophobia in a post-9/11 world, its successor may zoom into his personal life though a crumbling relationship. It’s difficult to attach a singular label on the album and on Heems himself, and that seems to be the essential point. The album is Heems’s open reconciliation of his identity, and especially, as he mentions in an interview with website The Verge, the “hyphenated-identity.” This identity is usually the dual expression of a person’s heritage and nationality—e.g Asian-American—that often blurs the ways we identify our backgrounds and ourselves. However, Heems uses the album to explore the dichotomies of his whole personal identity, not just racial aspect, in attempt to create a honest portrait of himself. Heems was born in Flushing, Queens and was raised by parents who were Punjabi-Indian immigrants. In the album, he verbalizes his relatable experience as a second-generation immigrant: the child of foreignmigrants facing the effects of being raised by both a domestic and an external culture. Consequently, Heems crafted the album both in Brooklyn and Bombay, the latter location as part of a significant trip

to Asia. He revealed in an interview with The New York Times that the title of the album refers to the “identity confusion” he confronted in the wake of experiencing his heritage during his “spiritual tourism” of Asia. Heems even said in the interview, “I would be reading about Mughal history while listening to Ravi Shankar with incense lit in my room. And I would be like, ‘I’m Indian — I don’t need to be doing all this!’ But I’m not Indian— I’m American.” The first track, “Sometimes,” is a perfect introduction to the idea of dualities in identity. Right away, listeners can hear samples of Indian music clash and then assimilate with more familiar bouncy Hiphop beats. Listeners then start to hear Heems’s dynamic cadence, sharp wordplay, and oddly-satisfying rhyming that pervade throughout the album. His low, husky voice is not overpowering and lends itself to a sort of authentic, conversationalist tone. Heems acquaints listeners with the seemingly contradictory aspects of his personality, correspondingly adjusting the energy of his delivery ranging from aggressive hype to somberness. He drives home his point by saying “How to live life when my life all dualities / This is how I live it man, this is my reality / Always confused, I could use more clarity.” Heems’s openness makes the listener feel more like they are part of a one-way conversation than that they are just being rapped at. If “Sometimes” is Heems hitting us up at a party, songs like “Home” and “Pop Song (Games)” are the first dates when we get to know him intimately. In “Pop Song,” among funky keyboard riffs and frenetic bongo drums, Heems soothingly sings half-whimsically, half selfdeprecatingly about his trouble with relationships, encapsulated

by the lines “We got all this stress / Girl, I’m such a mess / That’s a pretty dress / Will you get me this? / Is this a test? / Cause I’m not in school.” Heems slows it down in “Home” with down-tempo tribal drums and sporadic bursts of electric guitar and opens up about being a depression-sufferer and heroin-addict, saying: “And company loves misery...I’m addicted to the H, man.” Among his other identities, Heems is especially outspoken about his identity as a New Yorker. As a listener would expect from a track called “So NY,” he playfully rattles off his experiences of being raised in Flushing, Queens. Heems makes classic New York, Hip Hop references like “still not bump[ing] Tupac” and being the “Hindu Spike Lee.” In the same song, however, he foreshadow the issue of being a South Asian-American in New York, the epicenter of 9/11, saying: “Had to leave my home, they kept me Osama.” As the album progresses, the hyphenated-identity comes into play more and more, with Heems starting to question how far to draw the line between one’s ethnicity and nationality. In “Flag Shopping,” Heems puts into perspective the continuing issue of the blurring between Patriotism and Islamophobia. He recounts anecdotes of being forced to buy American flags in an attempt to say “I’m just like you,” yet being harassed anyway. Simultaneously, an eerie piano riff that gives off a sense of paranoia and forced tranquility is juxtaposed with a deafeningly menace bass line giving off a sense of immense fear. Heems reminds us of the discrimination that is ongoing, and calls into question what it means to be an American minority, especially in being considered “fundamentally different” despite

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“Eat Pray Thug” Covers the Essentials

assimilation or even being born in the country. The most profound song comes in the chillingly titled “Patriot Act,” which delves into the immediate impact of the 9/11 attacks on his life. Heems was Vice-President of the Student Union during the tragedy and describes in his perspective: “Then the towers fell in front of my eyes/ And I remember the principal said they wouldn’t / And for a month they used my high school as a triage / And so we went to school in Brooklyn / And the city’s board of Ed hired shrinks for the students / And maybe I should have seen one.” The unnerving spoken-word monologue is given over a simple beat and repeating sample of woodwinds, and further anecdotes of harassment are told with a palpable sorrow of not only loss, but being falsely blamed for

loss. In “Eat Pray Thug”, Heems provides a model for not only artistic but also personal exploration. While cohesive and never steering far from its message, the album is vibrant, diverse, and deserves greater than any single label for it. The goosebumps one gets while listening to “Patriot Act” remain well after the song ends, and in that sense is the perfect ending to the album. The album’s not only about the unresolved nature of systematic discrimination or the unwillingness of much of mainstream music to even hint at current issues, its about the uncertain nature of one’s identity. The album makes you think how much longer we can linger on our past relationships, our current anxiety, or the hope that the cries of “I’m just like you” will be believed?

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 21

Arts and Entertainment Playlist

Journey Through the Sands of Time Icarus Bastille Greek Mythology Rock Achilles Last Stand Led Zeppelin Trojan War Rock

Cynthia Sze / The Spectator

Rome Phoenix Ancient Rome Indie Rock/Synthpop

If you are reading this now, you most likely are enrolled at an educational institution—for instance, a little place that goes by the name of Stuyvesant High School—or you have been at some point. And, due to the pedagogical techniques utilized by this nation’s ostentatiously oppressive learning establishments, we are under the (indubitably correct) impression that you have (oh-sowrongly) been led to believe that the realm of history does not exist outside of textbooks, and, depending on the teachers you’ve had, fuzzy television documentaries. Well, (in an ideal world) you learn something new every day. In fact, these bellicose battles and ruthless leaders and awesome moustaches exist outside of John Merriman’s little (well, probably fairly sizeable) brain. Oh, yes! For a considerably long period of time—maybe even historically long—musicians have been alluding to not-so-current events in their work! If you are scrunching up your nose in utter disbelief—that’s the facial expression most people make when they’re confused, of course—we would like to convince you that, yes, these songs do exist. We’ve got a list, in chronological order, of them for you to play right here!

Henry Hudson Indie Rock Killer Queen Queen Marie Antoinette Rock C’est La Mort Stereo Total French Revolution, 1789 Electropop

Country Rasputin Boney M. Imperial Russia Disco Sympathy for the Devil The Rolling Stones Russian Revolution Rock Revol Manic Street Preachers Communism Rock

Pompeii Bastille Ancient Rome Rock

Do You Hear the People Sing Les Miserables Cast June Rebellion, 1832 Soundtrack

Abraham’s Daughter Arcade Fire Biblical Rock

Victoria The Kinks Victorian Era Classic Rock

Butcher’s Tale (Western Front 1914) The Zombies World War I Classic Rock

Jerusalem Dan Bern Biblical Indie Rock

James. K. Polk They Might Be Giants President Polk Alternative Rock

We’d Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover Annie: Cast Great Depression Broadway

King Kunta Kendrick Lamar Slavery Hip-hop

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) The Four Lads Renaming of Constantinople Swing

Wine Red The Hush Sound Biblical Indie Pop Judas Lady Gaga Biblical Pop Man Come into Egypt Peter, Paul, and Mary Biblical Classic Rock John Barleycorn Traffic Anglo-Saxon Britain Rock Hudson Vampire Weekend

Buffalo Soldier Bob Marley African-American Soldiers in the Spanish-American War Reggae Strange Fruit Billie Holliday Lynchings Jazz Sixteen Tons Tennessee Ernie Ford Coal Mining in the early 20th Century

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What the Water Gave Me Florence + the Machine The Suicide of Virginia Woolf Pop Rock 1940 The Submarines London Blitz Indie Rock Submarines The Lumineers

World War II Folk Rock We Didn’t Start the Fire Billy Joel Second Half of the 20th Century Rock

Pet Shop Boys Profumo Affair Pop Rock Sunday Bloody Sunday U2 Bloody Sunday Alternative Rock

Hurricane Bob Dylan Trial and Conviction of Rubin Carter Rock

Roulette Bruce Springsteen Three Mile Island Plant Rock

Fight the Power Public Enemy Civil Rights Movement Hip-hop

Beds Are Burning Midnight Oil Aboriginal Rights in Australia Rock

Pride in the Name of Love U2 Martin Luther King Rock

The Gunner’s Dream Pink Floyd IRA Bombings Rock

Fortunate Son Creedence Clearwater Revival Vietnam War Classic Rock Orange Crush REM Vietnam War Alternative Rock Charlie Boy The Lumineers Vietnam War Folk Rock Taro Alt-J 20th Century War Photographers’ Deaths Indie rock Nothing Has Been Proved Dusty Springfield &

Zombie The Cranberries IRA Bombings Rock Heartbeat The Fray Rwandan Genocide Pop Rock Naxalite Asian Dub Foundation Naxalite Groups in India Electronica Hip-hop I Was Here Beyonce 9/11 R&B Him Lily Allen 9/11 Pop

Page 22

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Arts and Entertainment

Melanie Chow / The Spectator

Broadway Honeymoon On Broadway

By Samantha Han “I love Betsy,” Jack Singer belts out. “And she loves me!” These lyrics from the opening number of “Honeymoon in Vegas” exquisitely sum up the show. Behind all the flying Elvises, flashy showgirls and tap dancing lies an ordinary love story. “Honeymoon in Vegas,” based on Andrew Bergman’s book and the 1992 film adaptation of the same name, opened on Broadway on January 15, 2015. The plot is quirky yet simple. A man, Jack, reluctantly vows to his dying mother that he will never get married. Ten years later, still haunted by his mother’s last wish, Jack finally proposes to his girlfriend of five years, Betsy, and the two head off to Las Vegas for their honeymoon. At Vegas, through a rigged poker game and a fiancée trade-off, the story unravels into a whimsical extravaganza. The musical stars are Tony Danza, Rob McClure, and Brynn O’Malley. Danza, portraying a gambler who beats Jack in poker and gets to spend the weekend with Betsy, is notably different from his other cast members in that he is not usually seen on the Broadway stage. Instead, he is better known for his appearances in television shows such as “Taxi” and “Who’s The Boss?” His mellow voice is noticeably weaker than the robust, dynamic voices of his peers. However, he makes up for this shortcoming with his acting. Danza is able to transform his character, Tommy, from a sleazy personality on paper into someone much more august.

Nevertheless, the production is entertaining with its dynamic cast delivering catchy tunes against a vibrant stage, treating the audience to a brief honeymoon-like experience. In a similar fashion, O’Malley portrays the story’s objectified ditz, Betsy, with unexpected grit.

McClure, as Jack, plays the role of skittish momma’s boy well. Whenever Jack’s mother is on stage, McClure is cautious because he does not want to do anything that will upset her. Much of McClure’s commendable performance can be attributed to Nancy Opel’s convincing portrayal of his scary (and hilarious) mother. While singing “Never Get Married,” she begins to lie down, and her words trail off. She then abruptly stops singing and presumably dies, leaving Jack distraught. After a few moments, she pops back up and loudly proclaims “never get married!”, effectively scaring Jack and eliciting much laughter from the audience. The score is composed of primarily of fast-paced songs, very different from Brown’s slower scores such as the ones from “Parade.” One noteworthy number is “I Love Betsy,” which is as much a love song from Jack to Betsy as it is from Jack to New York. Against a background of twirling New Yorkers, the plot is quickly established as Jack sings “just like Jay-Z and Beyoncé/I will make her my fiancée” whilst doing the “Single Ladies” dance. Danza’s solo, “Out of the Sun,” is especially comical as it might be the only show tune ever to be about skin cancer. He laments his dead wife in this ballad, crooning “she was beautiful beyond compare/roasting like a chicken in her chair.” The plot can be quite outdated and sexist at times, but that’s the byproduct of adapting a something from the 90s. After all, the plot centers around a man borrowing another man’s fiancée for a weekend as payment for debt. Although this storyline sounds absolutely appalling, it is barely salvaged by having Betsy ultimately agreeing to the deal on the premise that there would be no sex involved. Another fault is that out of all three main characters, Betsy is by far the least developed. Jack wants to get over his crippling fear of his mother. Tommy wants someone to replace his late wife. But all Betsy wants is to get married. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, but the plot would have been better had she been allowed to wish for something more than a woman’s cliché. The musical “Honeymoon in Vegas” is an attempt at reinventing its passé self, but no aspect of it is particularly new or innovative. Nevertheless, the production is entertaining with its dynamic cast delivering catchy tunes against a vibrant stage, treating the audience to a brief honeymoon-like experience.

Book We Thank You of the Inconvenients By Alicia Kwok

Neil Gaiman’s latest collection of short stories, “Trigger Warning: Short Fictions and Disturbances,” opens with a petting zoo of introductions, one of which declares that a short story collection “should be the same sort of thing all the way through,” and then proceeds to apologize profusely for the following collection’s complete and utter disregard of this assertion. It reminds me of one of the collection’s more lighthearted pieces, “May Tale,” and a note that shows up unannounced on the narrator’s bedside table. “WE APOLOGIZE OF THE INCONVENIENTS,” concludes the tale’s penultimate paragraph, and I’m struck with a particular urge to clasp this allegedly lifeless stack of tree pulp to my chest. To hell with your rules, I say. Gaiman, consistent in theme or not, is a joy to read and delicious as ever. It’s one thing to breed an engaging, dynamic anthology from the combined works of a battalion of different authors with a battalion of different styles and quirks. It’s another thing entirely to achieve the same refreshing, pointedly non-repetitious texture on your own, and “Trigger Warning” manages just that, as sophisticated as it is enjoyable. Gaiman, as I should hope you know, is no newcomer to the mainstream literary scene. The English author is far from it, having tried his vastly creative and slightly terrifying hand at everything from short fiction to children’s fiction to journalism to graphic novels to screenwriting. With his children’s novel, “The Graveyard Book,” Gaiman became the first author to win both the Newbery and Carnegie medals for the same work. His other children’s book, “Coraline,” I might add, had me nervously avoiding my own bookshelf and peering self-consciously through adder stones years ago. And even now, I shamelessly coddle the copies of “Good Omens”— Gaiman’s brilliant and hilarious collaboration with the late Terry Pratchett—and “Anansi Boys” that I may or may not have stolen from my seventh grade classroom. Gaiman’s writing is like the strangest kind of comfort food; his stories, more often than not, are fantastical, horrific, and darkly weird. I’m always impressed by his ability to spin the otherworldly and unnatural into something that feels tangible and warm. No matter how many legs he gives himself, he always keeps one foot solidly in the here and now. There’s no pretense of being whisked away into distant dreams, not for me, and I appreciate that. There’s no magic in his craft, no stories by wand-waving. Gaiman is shameless about the care and time woven into all fiction, both his own and the narratives he loves to allude to and remind his readers of. Some stories drag you in and leave you wandering somewhere in the inky pages of your own head. “Trigger Warning” yanks me out of myself to stare down at a girl with a book, to smile down at something so very commonplace, to stomp around and cut my own messy worlds out of paper and pixels. “Trigger Warning” is Gaiman in all of his mythological, maggoty glory, sprawled out over 25 stories and poems and what-have-yous. My personal favorite from this collection is the multime-

dia “A Calendar of Tales.” It was originally published, as Gaiman describes in the introduction, on the Web, as a series of 12 tales inspired by 12 questions and answers on Twitter, with a unique burst of color for each month. Artists were then welcomed to paint, photograph, and draw from each of the stories. Short films were made, ranging from an animated adaptation of “January Tale” to a quirky, somehow Wes Anderson-esque interpretation of “May Tale.” Best of all, the entire project was originally published online; the website is gorgeous, framed by trees and flashes of animation. Shooting stars dart under a full moon in January, birds overhead in February, and lightning in March, because pirate lass Anne Bonny—having kicked veritable arse way back in the golden days of shameless lootin’ on the high seas—deserves nothing less than a generous helping of rolling thunder. Scrolling through, the months pass like hours of the day, darkest in the winter and brightest in the summer. The trees bloom and wither ever-so-subtly. Visually, it’s already a more-than-swoonworthy experience.

Gaiman does a darned good job. He’s entertaining and thoughtprovoking and unflinching and fun and so much more, and that’s better than enough for me. The monthly tales themselves change in temperature and tone. January is cold and tentacled and tired. March is nostalgic. May is whimsical. June is ridiculous and ridiculously sweet. September is eerie and nervous, and November is a spark in the wind. Yet every month is imbued with the same hopefulness, looking forward to the next month or day or year with quiet optimism. Other notable stories include “The Thing About Cassandra,” which, with its oddball reimagining of the made-up girlfriend, both charmed my pants off and demanded that I read it again. Another is “In ‘Relig Odhráin,’” which is certifiably as creepy as it is poetic as it is nostalgic in its lyrical retelling of immurement (otherwise known as the age-old tradition of stuffing stillbreathing bodies into walls for insurance purposes). Go figure. And then there’s “The Man Who Forgot Ray Bradbury,” which deserves all the bittersweet smiles I have to give. It’s both a celebration of a man and an ode to the importance of storytelling, as befits a story about the author of “Fahrenheit 451.” Now, of course, nothing is perfect. No one is perfect, Gaiman included. Certainly, I’d mourn the loss of certain poems and fictions in the collection more than others. Clusters of words get lost in the glow of brighter constellations. But Gaiman does a darned good job. He’s entertaining and thought-provoking and unflinch-

ing and fun and so much more, and that’s better than enough for me. “Trigger Warning” is a dangerous title. It takes a certain amount of guts and/or pure naiveté to pull something like that. The phrase “trigger warning” itself is a maze of landmines. The concept of the trauma trigger refers to posttraumatic stress disorder; it’s a viable concern, unlike the internet-spawned protestations that currently nest anywhere and everywhere. And it’s these complaints and policies that Gaiman addresses both in his introduction and, to a lesser extent, in the stories that parade behind. The thing is, no matter how lovely it is to fabricate safe spaces, no matter how positively great it feels to avoid the things that scare and disturb you, real life is not, and more than likely will never be, a safe space. Rather, life, as Gaiman describes it, is “huge and complicated and will not warn you before it hurts you.” The trouble with trigger warnings is that they encourage and enable avoidance, which is generally accepted as a psychologically unhealthy behavior. Self-immurement, you might call it. Gaiman chooses to warn the reader, but personally, I think there’s only one warning label necessary. It goes something as follows: Welcome to life. Enjoy your stay. Just so you know, you will definitely, absolutely encounter upsetting things both real and fictional over the course of your existence, and there is no way at all to prevent this from happening. Do not be scared. You’ll do fine. And don’t you ever complain that nobody warned you. It’s intrinsic in the metaphorical agreement of life. You are alive, and therefore things will happen. And you will continue to live. So don’t worry. You’ve made it this far, haven’t you? There’s a hint of something similar in the finishing flourish of “Trigger Warning,” “Black Dog,” which places the protagonist, Shadow—you might recognize him from Gaiman’s award-winning novel, “American Gods,” or perhaps, Gaiman’s previous collection of short fiction, “Fragile Things”—scared and immobilized and alone. It’s an idiosyncratically weird scenario that starts with a small town pub and a nice old couple, and ends with a secret as disturbing as all hell. There are ghosts and mummified cats and there is plenty of immurement involved. And a nice old man has taken it upon himself to make sure that a certain someone keeps his mouth shut— by murdering an unfortunate acquaintance in cold blood. But here’s the thing about Baldur Moon—better known as Shadow—and me and you: We’re not alone. Granted, you and I don’t have ghosts and goddesses to whisper encouragements in our ears, reminding us that “[we] have died and [we] have returned,” and that we matter. But we matter all the same, and there are people waiting for us, whether we realize it or not. So it’s not quite peculiarly familiar when a voice in the wall asks a fictional man with a funny name if he’s truly scared of his father’s dog, and he knows the answer is yes. He knows that his arm is crushed and hurting from the bite of a black dog, and he knows that he’s bleeding red on the rocks. But he’s still alive and so are you, and that alone can make all the difference you need.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 23

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Humor These articles are works of fiction. All quotes are libel and slander.

An Honest Rejection Letter From Big Sibs Adam Wickham / The Spectator

By Daniel Goynatsky

Best TV of the Decade so Far By Shane Lorenzen Everywhere you look, the internet and print media are flooded with think pieces asking, “Is ‘The Sopranos a Don Quixote’ for the Twitter Generation,” “Who needs the Catholic Church when we have the ‘Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien,’” and “Why does everyone pretend they think ‘Twin Peaks’ is good?” Yes, we are living in the Golden Age of Television, and with so many stellar options it can be overwhelming deciding what to watch. So here I’ve compiled a list of the best shows and episodes of those shows that have aired on TV in this decade. Happy watching! “Breaking Bad”—You knew it would be on this list! That’s because Vince Gilligan’s gritty crime drama about a high school chemistry teacher turned crystal meth maker, Walter White, is already well on its way to becoming the defining show of this decade. A critical darling for all five seasons, there’s no doubt that while Water White was building his meth empire one dead drug kingpin at a time, he also laid siege to America’s heart! “Walt’s Hunch” (aired: August 11, 2012)—Much to Jesse and Skylar’s irritation, Walter refuses to use the bathroom for two weeks because he’s convinced the government is trying to clone him. Bryan Cranston picked up his fourth Emmy nomination after this episode because of his touching and deeply human portrayal of a man who has not peed for 336 hours. “Between Hank and a Hard

Place” (aired September 4, 2011)— Through a series of wacky mix-ups, Hank unknowingly brings Walt’s stash of Blue Sky Meth to the annual Albuquerque Mineral Collectors Convention (MinCon) while Walter is stuck trying to sell Hank’s rare mineral collection on the streets, leading up to a tragic finale wherein Badger’s eyeballs explode from snorting too much sedimentary coal. “Modern Family”—Yes, we hear you saying, “A corporate primetime family sitcom on a list of the best TV of the decade? That’s dubious and I want the 15 seconds I spent skimming this article’s headings back!” But hang in there, when you look past the surface, ABC’s “Modern Family” is a veritable cornucopia of quality and social progress! The show, revolving around the trials and tribulations of the Delgado-Pritchett and Dunphy families, features a gay couple that argues about real issues, like which one of them is the “mom” to their adopted child, and one of the primary characters is a domineering Hispanic woman who isn’t a good driver! How forward thinking! “A Manny Only a Mother Could Love” (aired October 13, 2013)— During dinner, Manny Delgado makes a rude remark about his mother’s skills as a chef just as she’s about to reveal to the family the grim results of her most recent mammogram. “Three Strikes and Luke’s Out!” (aired September 24, 2012)—Luke Dunphy makes his father Phil cry during a family barbecue after he

can’t name a single player from the 2002 World Series Anaheim Angel’s lineup. “Dunphy Discrimination” (aired November 8, 2014)—Haley Dunphy is expelled from college after calling her schools International Cuisine Day “Scumtoberfest” in the campus newspaper. “Mad Men”—No list would be complete without AMC’s mediumchanging classic. A period piece about the 1960s advertising industry, “Mad Men” was a revolution for television and while it has consistently had low ratings, critics and savvy viewers across the country have fallen in love with its complicated and compelling protagonist, Don Draper. “Draped in Controversy” (aired August 27, 2010)—After his order is mixed up at the deli during lunch, an irate Don yells racial slurs and drops the sandwich on the ground instead of in a wastebasket but it’s ok because it’s 1963. “Sleepin’ Round Town” (aired September 9, 2013)—Don has a long day at the advertising firm so he decides to blow off steam by cheating on his wife with his secretary Allison whom he keeps accidentally calling Angela. Afterwards, he calls his wife on the phone to tell her that he is “complicated.” “Don’s Going Through a Phase” (aired August 14, 2011)—Don comes to work with his fingernails painted black and says he only wants to make ad campaigns for “misunderstood” products that his “dad would never buy” now.

New Senior English Class: Just-OK Books Starting in the fall, a new Advanced Placement (AP) English class will be offered to seniors. The class, AP Just-OK Books, will be taught by Physical Education (PE) teacher Christopher Galano, and will analyze books that didn’t make the AP Great Books reading list, but have words in them. The students accepted for this new class, which requires a minimum English average of 75 and a PE average of 95, will not be required, expected, nor encouraged to take the AP English Literature exam in May. “This is going to be a course that focuses on books that are relevant to popular culture today. Works like the Twilight series and ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ have been very influential to students of this generation. We’ll find out why a lot of these books have been so popular,” said Galano, admitting to not having read almost any of the books on the class’s reading list. Galano, who began his position as Athletic Director of the Physical Education department last fall, has already taught a wide variety of

PE courses including weight training and regular cycle PE. However, he has not yet taught an English course, let alone an AP course. Galano says he came up with the idea for the course when it came to him in a dream. “Well actually, my first idea was to make weight training an AP course,” Galano said, “but Ms. Zhang didn’t think giving kids three hours of squats a night for an already physically exhausting class was reasonable. So I slept on it, and the next day I thought, ‘If I can’t stretch their hamstrings, I’ll stretch their minds!’” Students are already showing their excitement for this new course. “I’ve never really enjoyed

English class and I wasn’t excited about taking it again next year,” said junior Fidel Briones. “But then I saw that this class is going to read Sophie Kinsella’s ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ and now I have to be part of it!” The Assistant Principal of English, Eric Grossman is also excited for the newest addition to his department’s courses. “I think that it’s a great way for students who have never really liked to read, or are still learning to read, to get involved in an English class,” Grossman said. “The new class is going to be a little less advanced than a freshman composition class, but I think that is what’s going to make students comfortable enough with their illiteracy to participate.” Chiara Baker / The Spectator

By David Rosen

sion-making process, we place everyone’s pictures in front of us and rank individuals based on atDear Prospective Big Sib, tractiveness, wit, approachability, We regretfully inform you that kindness, and attractiveness. To be we did not accept you into the Big honest, we imagined you at the Big Sib Mentoring Program. After a Sib Little Sib dance, and we didn’t rigorous assessment of every indi- like how touchy you were getting. You might be mad at us for not vidual that applied, we came to the conclusion that you simply weren’t accepting you but accepting your friendly enough to be accepted. friend who smokes every Friday, Please don’t be discouraged from has a lower average than you, cuts applying to a myriad of other, less Mr. Griffin’s drafting class, and has definitely gotten into fights impressive, organizations before. But please rewithin Stuyvesant, bemember that we cause we know that don’t care about you are an extraorany of that— dinarily strong it’s all about candidate, just the impresnot strong sion you enough. made durYes, you ing your might’ve interview poured your and how heart into close of the written a friend application, you are to but that part the Big Sib doesn’t matChairs. ter at all (did We are exyou really think tremely sorry for we cared about not accepting you your most embarin favor of 130 better rassing moment?). The interview is where it all Melanie Chow / The Spectator people. Please consider applying next started to go downhill for you. We understand that we year after hopefully puberty affects said it would be an “informal, laid you in a positive way (seriously, a back interview,” but that is no ex- Big Sib that’s shorter than his little cuse to arrive two minutes late for sibs?). We hope that you continue your 6:39 PM appointment that we your path of academic excellence, civic engagement, and community e-mailed you about an hour ago. We get it. You looked up to your service in a club that matters a lot Big Sibs and you want to do the less, like the Environmental Club same for others. But you can’t help or ARISTA. And remember, feel anyone if you can’t explain what free to approach us during parties, you would do if one of your little because the more we like you, the sibs approached you about their more likely we are to accept you! friend smelling weird. Sincerely, Please understand that we reThe Big Sib Chairs ceive over 400 applicants every single year and we can only take a third of that. During the deci-

Mistaking Students’ Cultural Identities By Fish Milnikiewicz In a school that is over 9,000 percent Asian, it’s not difficult to get a little mixed up. Every day, the cultural backgrounds of more than a few students are mistaken. Here, The Spectator has assembled two exemplary personal stories regarding this topic. In a nighttime sky of exceptional students, senior Brian Heo is perhaps the brightest star. (It should be noted, though, that most of those stars are either Asian or Caucasian, with less than five percent being Hispanic, African American, or Native American/Pacific Islander/Alaska Native.) In addition to playing in the school band, he has taken a vast array of challenging courses, such as physical education and lunch. The problem is that even though Heo is Korean, he is constantly mistaken for being some other kind of Asian. Whenever Heo is in the Senior Atrium, people start talking to him in Chinese and ask him to do math homework for them. Heo usually just eats the homework instead and mumbles complaints to himself. “This math homework lacks flavor—it needs more inverse cosecant squared. Also, where’s the pi?” Heo frequently complains.

Heo’s best friend, senior Max Choo, explains: “It feels like every day, before band class, people mistake Brian for being Chinese, but he’s Korean. His real name is Won Geun, for crying out loud! People need to stop being so racist—it’s really mean!” However, Heo explains how he never lashes out at people who mistake his cultural background. Instead, he finds a quiet spot to sit down and eat his Korean barbecue alone. Senior Pranab Islam, known commonly by his peers as “that brown guy who tries too hard to be ghetto,” faces a similar dilemma. Islam is Bengali, yet day after day he is mistaken for being Indian. Islam explains: “Yo this is OD. Just because I’m brown doesn’t mean I’m from India. I’m Bengali! Now, do you want me to rip some bars?” The Spectator investigated Islam’s claims, sending computer science teacher Topher Brown-Mykolyk and several “brown” students to Bangladesh to find Islam’s original birth records. On the last day of their journey, they uncovered a treasure chest in Islam’s relatives’ village, but, upon opening it, only found Rafiqi’s. Whether or not Islam is Bengali or even brown at all is still under investigation.

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

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Humor Princeton Rejected by Hlebowicz Every year, thousands of colleges across the country apply for acceptance by highly selective students. In late March and early April, once the process of admitting students is completed, so begins the difficult experience of being rejected by these students as they choose which school to attend. This year, several highly regarded universities, such as Harvard and Princeton, all admitted senior Thomas Hlebowicz. Hlebowicz ultimately chose to attend Harvard next year, leaving schools like Princeton University completely distraught. “Hlebowicz was our dream student,” a visibly depressed Princeton President Christopher L. Eisgruber said. “He had a 98.2 GPA, 2380 on the SAT, and $1,200,000 that his family was willing to give us. Everyone tells us to be happy having Owen Smith, or any number of other students, but no one’s the same as Hlebowicz.” Eisgruber went on to explain the measures Princeton took in order to impress Hlebowicz, including being ranked first in US News and World Report, growing ivy on their walls, and constantly repeating the phrase “one of the most prestigious universities in the world.” “Over the past 260 years, we’ve done everything we could to make ourselves the strongest school possible,” he said. “To see all of our hard work rejected by this kid simply clicking a few but-

tons is just crushing. Now that Hlebowicz has rejected us, what’s the purpose of everything Princeton has done since 1746? I feel like it’s all been a waste.” The admissions staff also expressed lament over the loss. “We tried so hard to show Thomas that we truly are the

Melanie Chow / The Spectator

best school in America. We even reached out personally to him by repeatedly sending emails offering the free guide ‘5 Ways to Choose the College That’s Right For You.’ What more do students look for?” Director of Admission Logan Powell said. Hlebowicz is one of the most selective students in the country, although his 8 percent acceptance rate may be bloated by the fact that he intentionally applied to many “safety” schools that he knew he wouldn’t go to. On April 1, the day

after being accepted into Princeton, Hlebowicz sent the following letter to the Princeton Admissions Staff: “Dear Mr. Logan, Thank you for accepting me into Princeton. After a careful review of your school’s credentials, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to attend Princeton next fall. The quality of this year’s pool of colleges that accepted me was exceptional, and this decision is not a dismissal of Princeton’s many achievements, but rather a reflection of the strength of these schools. You should know that I use a fair and holistic process in evaluating schools, and so every aspect of Princeton was carefully considered in making this decision. I received acceptances from a record 12 schools, and unfortunately I can only attend one of them. I am sorry that this decision could not be different. I deeply appreciate your interest in me, and I wish Princeton success in all its future endeavors. Sincerely, Thomas Hlebowicz.” “All I want is to have this wonderful student attend Princeton. What makes Harvard better than us?” said Eisgruber, dejectedly burying his head in his hands. “It’s just not fair.” Harvard declined to speak directly to the press on the issue, instead releasing an official statement reading “THOMAS HLEBOWICZ CLASS OF 2019!!!!!!!!!!” which, as of April 6, had received over 600 likes on Facebook.

Mr. Lack Leaves Stuyvesant to Replace Zayn Malik in One Direction By Alec Dai and Rozi Xu The worlds of teenage girls everywhere were shattered on March 25 when Zayn Malik announced that he was leaving One Direction. Directioners all over were heartbroken by the loss of one-fifth of their favorite boy band. “I cried from my forehead five liters of tears,” sobbed Assistant Principal of Various Things Brian Moran, a fellow Directioner. Coincidentally, on the same day, Stuyvesant’s very own substitute teacher, librarian, and part-time head-banging rockstar Asher Lack left Stuyvesant. He posted on Facebook that he needed “to do music,” foreshadowing a glamorous future. And then, just earlier today, Stuyvesant students were hit with some odd, baffling news when Harry

Styles tweeted, “We have found the perfect heart-throbber replacement 4 Zayn. Plz welcome Asher Lack! Welcome to the band bro. xoxo.” #AsherNoLongerLacking is trending on Twitter. Tweets from fans range from “this is inZayn. asher lack is a #fraud. can the u.s. just take him back? [poop emoji]” to “this is 1Derful, i can’t even tell the difference between asher and zayn!!!!1!” and “OMG OMG OMG THE HAIR. HE HAS THE HAIR!!!!” Wattpad and Tumblr are loading up with Asher Lack fanfictions right this moment. Fanfictions like “Asher and his Nice Hot Books” and “The Love Story between Two Boys Named Asher and Harry” are already trending with over five million reads each. We reached out to Lack, and he told us, “What they wanted was

someone who could handle crazy fans and hate. I’m the perfect musician for the job! I spent six years in a hellhole with thirsty freshmen bagging, I mean begging, me to let them in the library.” Lack also believes he can handle this “crazy cutting thing” going on. “Cutting is not a good thing. I mean, why would you ever cut for someone? Look, I spent six years telling kids that they cannot cut for library staff. If it’s not on your program card, you cannot go to the library! End of story, I don’t care if you have a science free.” So, from Stuyvesant High School, we wish Mr. Lack a future full of death threats, marriage proposals, girls, man buns, uptown funks, and fish ‘n’ chips!

People with Under 90 Average Have to Drink at a Different Water Fountain By Shaina Peters and Henry Walker

The Student Union mandated that students with an average below 90 use separate water fountains on March 30, 2015. The SU made this decision after facing pressure from many students, who claimed that students with averages under 90 “grossed them out.” Despite criticism from both groups, the SU has fully backed up its policy. The new system involves a complex, high-tech identification system in which the student swipes their ID card at the water fountain before the water is dispensed. If the student’s average is too low for the water fountain, it will not operate, instead playing a personalized insult to the intelligence of the student who tried to use it. The water fountain will then summon the Assistant Principal of Security,

Head of Hydration Technology, and Water Bender Brian Moran, to further publicly shame the person and confiscate his or her cell phone. Though many students, most of whom have averages below 90, are complaining, the SU claims that the water fountains, though separate, are still equal. Additionally, new water fountains have been put in place to make sure lower scoring students don’t get in the way of students who may need the fountains to refresh themselves after a long day of being smart. “Too many times, good students have come to water fountains only to find them clogged up by the hordes of mediocre or subpar students,” Junior Caucus President Krzysztof Hochlewicz said. “We just want to make sure certain naturally superior people who need water get water.” However, some students have

noticed differences between the fountains, despite the SU denying everything. Rumors have been circulating that the water for the sub-90 average fountains has been sourced from the Hudson River. Freshman Sammie Paul shared her experiences: “The last time I used the water fountain, a live fish came out. And the time before that, there was a used condom and then a baby alligator. I feel like this isn’t healthy. The water quality needs to be at least two times better than this.” Due to the success of the separate water fountains, and the SU’s lack of ideas, the SU hopes to continue in the direction they’re currently going in, and is now making plans for other new changes, including a deal with Ferry’s to give the students with low averages the bad popcorn chicken.

Rachel Zhang / The Spectator

By Jacob Faber-Rico

Comic

Sub-2000 SAT Score Indicates Meth Addiction By Randy Higgins STUYVESANT HIGH SCHOOL – A new study released today by Stuyvesant High School in collaboration with College Board reveals that anyone who gets below a 2000 on their Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) is probably addicted to methamphetamine. A College Board spokesman confirmed the findings Friday, saying simply, “Although this correlation is not certain, anyone who thought ‘ridiculous’ was a better synonym for ‘harebrained’ than ‘quixotic’ was probably using psychoactive stimulants while taking the test”. He also added that anyone who got under a 10 on their essay had probably spent the 25 minutes allocated drawing loops of various sizes on the paper while nervously checking the room for hidden cameras. Methamphetamine, commonly known as crystal meth, is a potent hallucinogen and stimulant. Often made with cheap industrial chemicals, it is frequently associated with

the American South and Midwest, as well as students who couldn’t solve a polynomial for x, or find the proper adjective describing Dorothea Lange. It’s long term effects include irregular heartbeat, “meth mouth,” paranoia, excessive self-confidence and an inability to score

among the top 10% of high school students. For much of the faculty, this announcement has come as a serious surprise. Rafael Colon, who teaches computer technology to Juniors and Seniors, expressed his shock to The Spectator: , “It makes sense to me now. I mean, short of being high out of your mind trying to burn imaginary spiders out of your skin, there’s very little reason to miss my class”. Other teachers declined to comment, although an anonymous chemistry teacher confirmed, “This is why we’re so anal about returning lab materials”. Among the student population, however, reactions have been mixed. For many, this confirmed what they already knew. Junior Daniel Kodsi said, “It shouldn’t surprise anyone. Let’s face it: if you can’t scrape a 2100 without any practice, then you might as well develop a crippling addiction, because you’re basically going nowhere anyway.” Others, however, believe that this study is harmful to those who do not test well. Senior Andreas Wang, a vocal critic of the study, told reporters, “There are a number of reasons beyond meth addiction for sub-2000 SAT scores. The student could be stoned, or just knee-walking drunk, or the student behind them could be forcing them to test badly at gunpoint.” Despite varying opinions on the study’s validity, though, students throughout Stuyvesant seem to agree that studying for SATs is only slightly less dehumanizing than hitting up truckers for biker crank. Emily Wu / The Spectator

The Spectator ● April 17, 2015

Page 27

Sports NBA: Race For the MVP The race for the NBA’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) award is as closely contested as it has been in years. Three up-and-comers are all having seasons that would usually win the award, hands down. There’s never been anyone quite like Stephen Curry, James Harden, or Russell Westbrook in the history of the NBA, and they are all MVP candidates for very different reasons. Unfortunately, voting for MVP isn’t like buying ice cream at the supermarket—you can’t just grab neapolitan off the shelf and get the three best flavors. However, strangely enough, just like neapolitan doesn’t even include the best flavor (mint chocolate chip), the 2015 MVP race doesn’t even include the best player in the league (LeBron James). There are simply too many other terrific choices.

James Harden By Lev Akabas

For a casual viewer, it’s easy to automatically equate beautiful basketball with effective basketball. James Harden will never match the grace of Stephen Curry’s smooth ball-handling or pure shooting. He’ll never match Russell Westbrook’s jaw-dropping athleticism as he flies to the rim. When Harden dribbles between his legs ten times in a row to lull a defender to sleep, it’s boring, and when he barrels towards the basket with no intention of shooting and somehow draws a defensive foul, it’s frustrating, but his unique style of play is undeniably effective. Many analysts argue that Westbrook’s eye-popping statistics prove his MVP candidacy, but Harden’s numbers are just as outstanding. He’s decimals shy of leading the league in scoring with 27.5 points per game, averages 6.9 assists and 5.6 rebounds (less than two behind Westbrook in both categories), and shoots much better percentages (44 percent from the field, 38 percent on threepointers, and a whopping 87 percent on free-throws). Yes, Westbrook notched 11 triple-doubles, but Harden recorded ten 40-point games.

When it comes to individual statistical accomplishments between these two, you’re splitting (facial) hairs, and that’s before taking into account that Westbrook’s Oklahoma City Thunder are close to missing the playoffs. Conversely, Harden’s Houston Rockets competed for a second seed in the loaded Western Conference despite a plethora of injuries and mediocre talent to begin with. Both Dwight Howard and Terrence Jones have missed the majority of the season, and the team has used 25 different starting lineups with the availability of their roster in constant flux. The Rockets’ best healthy player other than Harden is a deteriorating Trevor Ariza, who is shooting just 40 percent from the field. On the other hand, Curry has the luxury of playing alongside fellow All-Star Klay Thompson and a strong Defensive Player of the Year candidate Draymond Green. Though Curry’s MVP case is admittedly bolstered tremendously by the Golden State Warriors cruising to the best record in the NBA, Harden dragging a hobbled Rockets squad to the third best record in the league is arguably more impressive. Harden also leads the league in minutes, whereas the Warriors’ strong second unit has allowed Curry to take plenty of breathers (often in the fourth quarters of blowouts). The Rockets rely heavily on Harden in the fourth quarter, and their 18-7 record in games decided by five points or fewer shows that Harden has come through for them when they’ve needed him most. When the Rockets faced the Thunder on Sunday, April 5, the game was tied with three minutes remaining. Harden personally outscored Oklahoma City 8-1 over the next 90 seconds, including two plays during which he controlled the ball for the entire shot clock before draining a three. This game was emblematic of an entire season of Harden carrying Houston. He attempts 44 percent of his shots with fewer than ten seconds left on the shot clock; when the of-

fense breaks down and someone needs to make something happen, Harden is the guy you want with the ball. Harden has made more free throws than anyone else in the NBA has even attempted, meaning that he puts teams in foul trouble by attacking the basket. And despite being a prolific scorer, he dribbles the ball up the court as much as most point guards and assists on more of his teammates’ three-pointers than anyone in the league. Take James Harden off the Rockets, and there’s no difference between the quality of their roster and that of the laughably incompetent Sacramento Kings, who can’t even muster 30 wins. But the Rockets do have Harden, who has single-handedly carried them to the third best record in the NBA. He simply does more for his team than any other player, and, not to mention, he sports a fantastic beard. Stephen Curry By Jeffrey Su Arguably the most exciting player in the NBA, Stephen Curry’s ankle-breaking moves and pull up threes have spread through Vine and Facebook like wildfire. The 27-year-old point guard has led his team to a 66-15 record, which is good for top twenty in NBA history (mind you, fourteen of the top twenty NBA teams went on to win the NBA title that season). Curry’s charismatic court demeanor has made him a fan favorite among all NBA fans, and has even inspired rapper Drake to include him in his song entitled “0 to 100/The Catch Up.” Curry has blazed through the ranks in the NBA, and is now a toprung leader in the MVP ladder. The “Baby-Faced Assassin” as Curry is called, is averaging 23.9 points per game, 7.7 assists per game, 4.3 rebounds per game, and 2.0 steals per game for the Golden State Warriors. Although Curry’s main competition for MVP, James Harden, averages more points

and rebounds (27.5 PPG and 5.6 RPG), one must take into consideration team standings, player usage, and play style when comparing statistics. Curry has played 400 less minutes than Harden, yet has only made seven fewer field goal attempts. Curry has also made the most threes in the NBA (268) while shooting the fourth best percentage (43.8 percent). James Harden is known for getting to the free throw line more than anybody in the NBA. In fact, Harden has shot 459 more free throws than Curry (who is the league leader in free throw percentage at 91.4 percent). If you take away both players’ made free throws, James Harden would have 1,446 points and Stephen Curry would be in the lead with 1,498 points scored. Curry also leads Harden in total steals, field goal percentage, player efficiency rating, true shooting percentage, effective field goal percentage, and defensive win shares. Stephen Curry’s productive play comes almost at a detriment to his own statistics, as he and the rest of the Warriors starters usually sit out most of the fourth quarters due to large leads. The Warriors have the largest average margin of victory at 10.2 points (the second largest average margin of victory is owned by the Clippers at 6.5 points). Curry is the consummate floor general, never seeming to be in a hurry. He shows both poise and pizzaz on the court, knocking down clutch shots while also making no-look between the legs passes. He is the leader of the best team in the NBA, and should win MVP. Russell Westbrook By Jeffrey Zheng Crazy, beast-like, and unbelievable are only a few of the words that can describe the season Russell Westbrook has been having. The electrifying 26-year-old point guard, known for his athleticism and energy, has shown game after game why he deserves this year’s MVP award. He is currently the league-leader in points per game with 28.0, fourth in assists per game with 8.6, first among all point guards in rebounding with 7.3 per game, and second in steals per

game with 2.1. Westbrook has been mentioned among all-time greats Magic Johnson, Oscar Robertson, and Michael Jordan this season. During a 10-game stretch in the month of March, Westbrook averaged over 33 points, 10 rebounds, and 10 assists per game. The only other player to do so in the past 50 years was Jordan in the 1989 season. With numbers so godlike, how can Westbrook not be considered the clear-cut MVP? For starters, Westbrook has missed 15 games this year, which, historically, is rare for an MVP winner. Secondly, despite his amazing performances, the Thunders are currently a measly 44-37 and barely clinging on to the eighth seed in the west. Traditionally, the MVP award is given to a player whose team is among one of the top teams in the league. In fact, since the 1982-83 season, every MVP winner’s team had over 50 wins in the regular season. However, the Thunders are 37-26 when Westbrook plays, despite injuries to key players such as starting small forward and last year’s MVP, Kevin Durant, who has only played in 27 games this season, starting power forward Serge Ibaka, and big man Steven Adams. Westbrook has done everything he can for the Thunder. He has posted 11 triple doubles (four players are second with three each), including a 49-point, 16-rebound, and 10-assist performance directly after returning from a serious facial injury. He has nine 40-point games and has shown that he is developing into a true point guard by posting an assist percentage of 47.3 which is tied for first with Los Angeles Clippers’ point guard Chris Paul. In addition, Westbrook has shown immense leadership qualities and a defensive prowess that is characteristic of MVP winners. Russell Westbrook’s absolutely ridiculous numbers and ability to keep the Thunder in the competitive Western Conference playoff race despite nagging injuries, make him a strong case for MVP this year. *All statistics are accurate as of April 14, 2015

Sunny Chen / The Spectator

By Lev Akabas, Jeffrey Su, and Jeffrey Zheng

Girls’ Fencing

The Vipers Move Forward By Tousif Hossain and Susan Wu Last year, the girls’ fencing team, the Vipers, started off strong and won their first few games easily. But when their epée captain got injured in a car accident, the team was expected to show some negative aftereffects. On the contrary, they were able to pull together and end with a 11-0 season run. Going through the regular season undefeated, the Vipers continued to dominate throughout the playoffs and entered the City Championships at the peak of their abilities. Eventually, the Vipers lost to Tottenville in the City Championships and placed second. However, their silver was a vast improvement from just two years prior. The Vipers pulled off a stellar season. Following last year’s success, the Vipers are eager to continue their legacy and improve at City Championships. Since this year’s

season started in March, earlier than in previous years, the Vipers faced some unprecedented problems. For one, Stuyvesant SING! rehearsals cut into practice time. This year, the rigorous tryout process system conducted for potential team recruits followed by intense training and teaching basic fencing techniques to recruits, was conducted in the same manner it always has. Tryouts occurred over a series of days with cutoffs after each session and involved scaling stairs, squats, push-ups, and elementary footwork, among other physical exercises. Although extremely important later down the road, in the short-term run, these procedures hindered the team from jumping onto their feet as they had to wait for the tryouts to finish before practicing as a team. Another scheduling inconvenience for the Vipers is that their playoff schedule intersects with

that of AP exams. “May is a huge, busy, busy month for me because our playoffs are scheduled near the end of May and I also have my four AP exams to study for,” junior Hayoung Ahn said. Despite these difficulties, the Vipers are optimistic about the upcoming season because they have still retained 15 of the 18 members from last year’s roster. “Last year we only had three seniors though so the entire weight of the team wasn’t just on them. There are so many talented sophomores, juniors and seniors currently on the team now, and I think we still have the potential to do just as well as last year,” Ahn said. “Julia [Mendelsohn (’14)] was our best fencer, and also incredibly aggressive. [Coach] Winston thinks that this year’s epée team lacks that aggressiveness, so he always tells us to ‘channel Julia,’” senior and co-captain Tiffany Chan said.

“There are so many talented sophomores, juniors and seniors currently on the team now, and I think we still have the potential to do just as well as last year.” —Hayoung Ahn, junior

The Vipers are shaping up to showcase one of their most prominent lineups as of late. With formidable starters Alice Oh, Julia Dokko, and Aparna Nair-Kanneganti in epée and Serena Chan, Hannah Contreras, Sara Yoon, and Stephanie Yoon in foil, the Vipers are sure to pose a threat in their division. Although they lost three seniors from their lineup, they were able to make up for that by finding new talent. Junior Aparna Nair-Kanneganti, who was an incoming sophomore last year, has shown a lot of promise. “We found a wonderful newbie, Aparna Nair-Kanneganti, who was a sophomore [last year], to replace her as a starter. She improved so fast that she finished the season undefeated.” senior and co-captain Sara Chung said. With this new addition, the Vipers are hoping to pave their way towards the City Championships and contend for gold.

April 17, 2015

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Tanumaya Bhowmik / The Spectator

The Spectator SpoRts

NYC Mayor’s Cup Stuyvesant’s girls’ and boys’ track and field teams competed in the NYC Mayor’s Cup on April 11 and 12. Pictured above (from left to right) are Tis Zhi Lin passing off to Constantine Athanitis in the sophomore 4x100 relay, the girls’ freshman 4x400 relay team which placed second, and the boys’ sophomore 4x800 relay team which also came in second. Other highlights from the meet include junior Jacob Hoffman’s fourth place finish in the boys’ 400 meter hurdles race and sophomore Zovinar Khrimian’s fifth place finish in the girls’ 1500 meter race.

Boys’ Lacrosse

Peglegs Crush Tuitt Hunter

12

Stuyvesant

02

Stuyvesant

10

Tuitt

02

By Xuanjia Fan After an embarrassing 2-12 defeat by Hunter College High School on Wednesday, March 25, the Stuyvesant boys’ varsity lacrosse team, the Peglegs, redeemed themselves with a spectacular victory over Albert Tuitt Educational Campus on Monday, March 29. The victory came swiftly and Tuitt was pounded over and over with goal after goal. There is no question that the Peglegs were well prepared for the match up and executed their strategy with a remarkable result, ending the game with a score of 10-2. Throughout the first half, the Peglegs maintained a very aggressive offense and scored seven goals while Tuitt struggled to keep the ball near the Peglegs’ goal and failed to score. Juniors Andrew Kratsios and Dante Del Priore performed incredibly on the attack, scoring most of the goals during the game. Kratsios would finish with four total points with Del Priore right behind with three points. Senior Jimmy Yan also amazed the team by scoring his first goal of the season and winning a faceoff, which drew cheers from the Stuyvesant sidelines. Further, the Peglegs held an impressive defense with senior Su Rho Yoo using his body effectively to keep Tuitt away from the goal. Tuitt, on the other hand, was disorganized on their defense as well as their offence. They could not maintain possession of the ball for very long and often dropped the ball or made long passes that were easily intercepted. Most of the attempts Tuitt made were wild shots that

went over the goal. Throughout the first half, Peglegs outshined Tuitt on both sides of the field and managed to give themselves a significant lead of 7-0 into the second half. In stark contrast to the first half, the second half got off to a slow start. Coach Anthony Bascone benched most of the starters and played his bench, many of whom got their first playing time this season. The second half was characterized by the Peglegs staying in possession of the ball for long periods of time but making few shots—the offense was essentially using the time to practice passing. It was like watching monkey in the middle, as various Tuitt players would watch as the ball soared over their heads. For much of the third quarter, Tuitt refused to fight for the ball which cost them precious time to attempt to score. However, the fourth quarter was full of contact as both teams started to fight for possession. There were times when the Peglegs would drop the ball and a swarm of players would crowd around it and fight for control. The game got very intense and climaxed when Yoo knocked down a Tuitt player and received a three minute penalty. Following the penalty, Tuitt regained their strength and capitalized on the opportunity to score two points by getting past the frantic Peglegs defense. However, it was too late as Tuitt was not able to get another chance after the second goal. The game ended as the Peglegs celebrated their victory in the sidelines. The game was also a great opportunity to many new play-

ers who never got playing time. “For us rookies, this was a great learning experience because the other team wasn’t as intimidating,” junior Mahbubar Moon said. Coach Bascone hopes to use more games against inexperienced teams as practice sessions for the non-starters. He hopes that such games will provide the opportunity for new players to try out the skills they have acquired against a real opponent. Without this opportunity, players such as Yan would have never got the chance to show off and would have stayed on the bench the entire season. However, the victory is not something spectacular as Tuitt is a relatively weak team compared to the Peglegs. “[Tuitt] is a developmental team,” junior Spencer Eo said. “Lacrosse is a new sport in the city and we are planting seeds for future players in the sport.” Tuitt, along with other teams that have recently started a lacrosse program are still getting accustomed to the sport. The school team has been on a losing streak since the season started with a 0-5 record. The Peglegs, however, did not perform perfectly. The team still needs to work on fighting over the ball and having more confidence on the offense. “[You guys] have to get on the guy and be more aggressive,” Bascone told the team. “Take some more shots.” The Peglegs also have to improve their offense and not be overly dependent on Del Priore and Kratsios to deliver—the duo scored a combined seven points out of the total ten, and without Kratsios and Del Priore during the second half, the team would have scored only three points. The offense refused to attempt any shots because everyone was too nervous. The team must lose this mentality and shoot more often, even if it is a miss. If the team does not fix this inequality, future games against more advanced teams will pose problems for the Peglegs.

Sports Wrapup Stuyvesant’s cricket team, the Tigers, began their season on Wednesday, April 8, with a loss to Dewitt Clinton 109-68. The Eagles, Stuyvesant’s golf team, beat Eleanor Roosevelt High School 5-0 on Tuesday, March 31. They are currently 2-0 and are placed first in the Manhattan division. Stuyvesant’s girls’ fencing team, the Vipers, began their season on Tuesday, April 14, with a victory over NEST+M. The boys’ baseball team, the Hitmen, won their first game of the season on Thursday, April 2, with a blowout victory over Aviation Career & Technical Education High School 17-5. The girls’ badminton team has performed well recently, winning three of their last four games, with victories over Marta Valley High School, Tottenville, and John Dewey High School. The boys’ handball team has had an excellent start to the season, with wins over Chelsea Career and Technical Education, High School of Environmental Studies, and High School of Economics and Finance. They are currently 3-0 and are placed first in the Bronx/Manhattan division. The boys’ lacrosse team, the Peglegs, split two games recently. On Tuesday, March 31, they beat Maspeth High School 14-3. Two weeks later, on Monday, April 13, they lost against Port Richmond 6-3. The girls’ lacrosse team, the Huskies, lost two games recently against Forest Hills and New Dorp 11-9 and 9-3, respectively. The Huskies are 2-6 on the season. The girls’ softball team, the Renegades, won twice within the past week, beating Fiorello H. LaGuardia 15-8 and Lab Museum United 9-8. They are currently on a four-game winning streak. The Beasts, the boys’ volleyball team, recently defeated West 50th Street Campus 2-0. They are currently 3-1 and are placed second in the Manhattan A West Division.

SPORTS CALENDAR Wednesday 4/22

Monday 4/27

Girls’ Badminton vs. Marta Valle

Boys’ Volleyball vs. Fiorello H. LaGuardia

@ Stuyvesant High School Gym

@ Stuyvesant High School Gym

Thursday 4/23

Tuesday 4/28

Boys’ Baseball vs. Norman Thomas

Girls’ Fencing vs. NEST + M

@ Pier 40

@ Stuyvesant High School Gym

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