coping strategies The Boys & Girls Clubs of America has incorporated programming from organizations like the Aspen Institute’s National Commission on Social, Emotional, & Academic Development and the Partnerships in Education and Resilience Institute, which is affiliated with Harvard Medical School, to understand children’s behaviors and emotions and the ways they affect the child, their families and wider communities. Here is a strategy parents can use to build essential problem-solving skills in their children:
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Say the problem. Get your child to articulate wate what the issue is. Together, in a safe and respectful way, think of possible solutions to the problem. Explore consequences. There needs to be structured consequences. “Sometimes kids offer stronger consequences than adults do,” says Kimberly Reaves, vice president of operations, Boys & Girls Clubs of the Chattahoochee Valley, Columbus, Ga. Pick the best solutions and make your plan.
Part of looking holistically at youth is meeting them where they are. “When young people arrive at the clubs, we don’t know about their ability to develop healthy relationships with themselves and with others and if they have the skills to regulate their emotions and make responsible decisions,” Brown says. Clubs consider each child’s needs as well as the culture of the community. The Boys & Girls Clubs of Portland (Ore.) Metropolitan Area, serving 4,500 children per year in its 10 clubs, works to build the scaffolding that will serve youth as they go through programming as children and into their teen years. These soft skills range from simple things like learning to take turns, being able to express their needs and interacting in positive ways to building friendships, resolving conflicts and developing appropriate relationships. Members are made to feel emotionally and physically safe at all times so they can “calm the stress part of their brain that keeps them in fight-or-flight mode,” says Beverly Ajie, senior director of youth services at the Portland club. Programming is predictable and stable, and the staff uses a “lens of equity” to understand that everyone comes from a different perspective and has individual life experiences. What does success look like for these club members? “We look to ensure that youth are empowered to have agency over their lives and their futures,” says Rachel Schutz, Portland’s vice president of club services and a trauma informed specialist.
“When we talk about these essential skills, the end game is being a well-adjusted, fully developed adult.” Matthew Heady, senior director of teen services at the Portland club, builds on the work done with younger children by Schutz and Ajie. He highlights TreNisha S., who grew up in the club, as a success story. “She took part in the fun stuff and then as a teen we were able to connect her with internships,” he says. She went through the club’s workforce development program, where she worked on communication and critical thinking skills. “We do a lot of work on self-advocacy and efficacy to recognize when you need to speak up in the world,” Heady adds. TreNisha was able to put her skills to use as a paid guest services intern at Providence Park, where the Portland Timbers professional soccer team plays. Like TreNisha, Nzingha has been implementing what she’s learned at the club during an internship at a local law firm. She says she learned to be organized, on time and accountable by participating in BGCA programs. “I got to the office every day at 8:58 to clock in at 9. I got there early in case I tripped or something,” she says with a laugh. Every child needs support, direction and the ability to attempt new things, Heady says. “We see our club as a safe place to fail. You can come here and try something new in a safe space and if you do well, we build on that. And if you struggle it’s all right, too. We think of ourselves as bumpers like you see in a bowling alley.” l
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’Lens of Equity’