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WHAT TO CONSIDER “Parents should look for signs of responsibility when their children are with them before leaving them home alone. Are they able to follow directions without being told repeatedly? Do they only follow directions if you are there watching? If they only follow the rules when you’re watching, it’s unlikely that they will follow them when they are home alone,” Mitchell says. “School behavior can also be a good indicator because school is where children spend the most of their time without their parents watching. If they’re misbehaving or violating rules, they may do the same when they’re home alone.” Amy Jackson allowed her 16-yearold daughter to start staying alone in their Kingwood, Texas, home at age 11 because she felt her daughter was mature enough. “We started out with small increments. I would go to the store and leave her at home watching a movie because I knew I could trust her. I believe the key is really knowing your children, because not all 11- or
12-year-olds think and behave the same.” SET GROUND RULES Talk with your children to find out how they feel about shouldering the responsibility of staying home alone. Some children may be ready for it, while others may hesitate or be afraid. Parents should let their children know what’s expected of them, including setting a consequence and reward system. “The child should know what will happen if they don’t follow the rules. Additional television or computer time, or even getting to choose what’s for dinner can give them some incentive to do the right thing,” says Mitchell. SAFETY FIRST Safety is another major concern for parents. In case of an emergency, children need to know what to do and whom to contact. This information should be written in a way the child can understand and posted in a place they can readily see. Parents should also make sure their child has access to a phone. Creating a check-in
system will put both the parent’s and child’s minds at ease about this new adventure. Jackson says she role-played with her daughter to make sure she was prepared in case of an emergency. “We went over what to do if someone knocks on the door or if she smelled smoke. We even practiced calling 911 and what to say in certain situations.” KEEP YOUR CHILD OCCUPIED Tasks or completing educational activities are great ways to keep your child busy. “Give them chores to do that you have seen them complete successfully,” says Mitchell. “Start with giving them things assigned by the school such as homework, worksheets or assigned reading. It’s important to not only assign tasks, but to follow up to make sure it’s completed by asking to see it or asking for details about what they read.” If you decide to let your child stay at home alone, there are benefits, explains Mitchell. “It demonstrates a great deal of trust between a parent and child and can strengthen the relationship.”
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