HORRORscope

HORROR SCOPE

Capricorn

It’s not necessary to doubt the past, Capricorn. It’s important to focus on the present. A good trait from Capricorn is that he’s always busy. But he should restrain himself, because before he knows it, he walks past his own shoes and forgets to dress up in the morning. What would people in the grocery store think of him? He should watch out and avoid the man with the uniform and equipment, because before he knows it, he will get cuffed for walking around naked. There goes another €380...

Pisces Pisces are very artistic. They enjoy music, visual media and spiritual themes. They are very open-minded, show lots of empathy, and often have the desire to escape reality. But right now, it is very important to stay focused. Big changes are coming for you, and it is important to stay on top of everything that’s happening. If you keep on daydreaming, the past will come back to haunt you...

Taurus The Taurus does not want to feel compelled to anything and so when it is told to eat their plate, the Taurus does not cooperate. Unfortunately for the Taurus, spiders in your sleep will bother you if you don’t eat your plate. And even though you are a Taurus, no one can withstand a spider invasion.

Aquarius

The Aquarius is known for her caring character and her independent personality. She loves helping others and she is a good listener. She will always be there for others, but does not easily accept help: she wants to be independent and authentic. But watch out now: big things are ahead for you, and you will need the help of others more than ever. Don’t ignore their reaching hands. Try to accept help and use it smartly, because you will not make

your dreams come true all by yourself...

Aries

Aries has a spontaneous character and therefore he likes to party. At a party he drinks a lot and always has a hangover the next day. Unfortunately for the Aries, two years of his life will go away when he has a hangover. Oops, that will get difficult with such a spontaneous character...

Gemini Gemini are versatile, but does also mean that a Gemini could have multiple faces, literal and figural. With multiple faces, you could talk even more, couldn’t you, chatterbox? Will you keep up every story you tells others? Before the Gemini knows it, his mind is filled with all the stories, so much that his skull can’t hold it anymore. Time will tell before his head explodes... A benefit from this is that the Gemini won’t have multiple faces anymore, because he won’t even have one. 3

Cancer Leo

The Cancer sign has impeccable emotional depth and is loyal. They better keep up that loyalty, or everything they put in their pockets will somehow be rocks when they pull it out again. Betrayed a friend’s trust? Sorry, your phone is rocks now.

Virgo

A good trait from Virgo is that he is a real family person. But what if he is too critical and perfectionistic, which are negative traits of Virgo? What if this causes him to not find his perfect match? Not to critical, Virgo, because if you won’t start your own family within three years, someone will start it for you. Only, the Virgo won’t be very happy with this new family, because the demons he gets as family, are not so loyal and family orientated as the Virgo himself.

Scorpio Scorpios are emotional and intense. They’re like the big bad elder sister of the water signs. At least, that’s what Cosmopolitan says. It’s very appropriate though. From now on, you might want to watch out around frogs. Because if a frog so much as touches you, you might find yourself with one sibling more than before you left home. And you’ll be the only one knowing they were not always there. Or were they? Leo is a Fiery Sign, a sign of Hercules and the Lion. You have a positive connection with the sun and therefore this month is your time to shine. Because of your sunny nature, you tend to overdo the sun. Too bad for you, you’ll change from leo into scorpio. A red layer will spread across your skin because you were too greedy with the sun. So be careful Simba!

Libra

The Libra loves to gossip and gamble. But not too much gossip Libra, because chickens come home to roost... You may have such a friendly personality, but gossip is a no go. If you gossip a lot, I would be careful because everyone will stare at you for a long time when you walk by. That will be

awkward!

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Sagittarius

Saggitariusses (saggitari? saggitariussi?) are courageous and optimistic. Are you into music too, perhaps? Otherwise, I can recommend starting now. Just start up slow, with say, a song a day. Oh, not to forget: if you don’t listen to that song a day you might find yourself with one toe less. And that’s for every skipped day. The stars will be watching, so no cheatsies!