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The Magic o f O n l i n e O r d e r i n g by: anonymous
YES, THIS SCHOOL is officially $70,000. And yes, for half of the campus, a por tion of that is
for those precious meal swipes.
How our parents managed to sur vive in the dark days when telephone ordering was their only option escapes us all. Apparently, if they wanted a pizza, they had to DIAL NUMBERS on the telephone. Then they had to use their HUMAN voice to complete the order. And then pay...with cash...in person. God, the horror. But through the magic that is the Internet, the joys of receiving food have become so simple. Vir tually, ever y restaurant throws themself on Grubhub, not to mention Good Uncle and just plain ol’ regular deliver y. All you have to do is sign on, put in your credit card information, pay exorbitant amounts of deliver y and processing fees all while your parents shell out hundreds of dollars wor th of meal swipes, and you’re done! Easy as pie. No one gets hur t. ( Well, except your parents’ savings. But, eh! They ’re not here, right?) Not to mention the wonder that is Starbucks mobile ordering. Want to avoid the lines of gabbing sorority sisters in order to grab your caramel macchiato on your way to your English class? No worries! Starbucks has you covered. Slowly kill the spirit of a minimum wage employee while draining your bank account $10 at a time. You won’t regret that during the summer when you have little to no money to buy alcohol and a caffeine addiction. So happy spending, Student Voice readers! Remember, the Internet is your friend in terms of convenience. ...and less your friend in ever ything else.
STUDENT VOICE
LIFE HACK
Ah, meal swipes. What could be better than a system in which you leave your daily meals up to the fate of chance? What could be better than a system in which you don’t know if you’ll leave mildly satisfied or completely satisfied? What could be better than looking at the possible options, sighing, and taking only a heaping plate of french fries (provided it ’s not chicken tender day)? Well, of course there’s a better option...online ordering!