Honoring a golf legend at VC
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Some classic scares at OC
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A primer on the Nov. 2 election
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How to prepare for flu season Michael Lemerand
Photo by Chad Jones
Rock-it man–Lead singer Marcus Urango from the band Elepantmase rocks out on stage at the Nightmare Before Christmas show. It was one of the local bands featured at the festival.
Rocking out at Ventura Channing Chea
VC Campus editor Ventura College hosted its first annual Arts and Music festival themed after the hit Halloween movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas” last Friday, Oct. 22. More than 100 students, many of which were dressed in costumes, attended the live music and art exhibition on VC’s campus quad. The event lasted from 5 to 10 p.m. The ASVC put together a festival where local bands from Ventura County performed and student paintings were displayed. The event brought students together and helped campus clubs raise money. The festival included performances by Flyswatter, The Sealions, VID.DI.OUS, The Osteoblasts and several others. Tables were set up all around the quad so that clubs could pro-
mote themselves to any interested students. Other student organizations, such as the Student Health and Psychological Services, were also present. Many clubs handed out Halloween goodies and useful health and safety information. In the Fireside L.ounge, tables were also set up so that students could see the displayed work of schoolmates’ paintings. One of the featured student artists was 14-year-old Spencer Crosland. “I’m glad that people get to see it,” said Crosland, referring to his art in the gallery. “It feels pretty great.” Crosland was the youngest student to have art featured in the gallery. He also was responsible for redesigning the ASVC logo that is currently being used. ASVC only had a $750 budget to use for covering all expenses of the event. Such expenses included event security, decorations and
catering for band members and event organizers, which was provided by Chipotle. Before the semester began, ASVC Senators Martha Olin and Monse Ortega had discussed the idea of the festival, but it took the entire student government to bring the event into fruition. The project was an overall success. Parts of the event were documented, to be later posted on VC’s Pirate Soup. The original plan was for it to be an event just for the students’ fun and recreation, but after the recent ban placed on bake sales—making it difficult for clubs to make money—the festival became another opportunity for clubs and student organization to make money. “At first it was just for fun, but after hearing about the bake sale restrictions we wanted to use this event to help clubs fundraise,” said Ortega.
Vol. 8, No. 4
Features editor The advent of the holiday season can mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but there is one universal problem synonymous with the winter that affects people regardless of their age, race or creed. Contagious afflictions like the flu or the common cold are debilitating, enduring and prone to flourishing in environments like classrooms, libraries and other educational forums students find themselves frequenting. “We spend more time indoors, in rooms that may not get a lot of circulation, giving us more opportunities to be exposed to respiratory viruses,” said William Schaffner, M.D., chairman of the department of preventive medicine at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, in Nashville. While it’s hard to combat an invisible threat like the flu, there are preventative methods you can take to ensure you and you’re loved ones are exempt from this holiday curse. For students, juggling the responsibilities of maintaining a job, attending school, and having a social life can be an exhausting process, where health doesn’t seem like
a priority until it’s jeopardized. “I understand for students it is a difficult balance,” said Sharon Manakas, coordinator of health services at Moorpark College. “Prevention is key.” Elaine Tennen, health coordinator at Ventura College’s Student Health Center, recommended prevention as a practice to help students avoid various infections. “Basically, take really good care of yourself,” said Tennen. “Stay healthy, exercise well and sleep good.” Preventative methods can be as simple as thorough hand washing and disposing of used tissues, but there are more certain and direct tactics to combating the flu specifically. “I highly recommend the flu vaccine,” said Manakas. “If you could do the prevention part of it you’re ahead of the game.” The flu vaccine is available for $20 at your respective campus health center, and will be available for free on Nov. 12th, from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. in an event sponsored by the Ventura Public Health Department. For more information on services your local health center can provide, visit your health center located on campus or your campuses respective website.
Students get down at OC
Anna VanderStouwe Contributing writer
Photo by Chad Jones
Pink–The 2010 Moorpark College Womens Volley Ball team holds pink carnations as they eagerly wait to give them to a cancer survivor or in memory of one.
Volleyball team plays for a cure Kurtis Tollefson
Staff writer On Tuesday night the Moorpark College Lady Raiders women’s volleyball team, 3-0 in Western State Conference play, hosted the 6th annual Dig Pink event to support breast cancer. Fans and parents showed up to the game wearing pink to honor those who have breast cancer and for those who have lost the battle. Students had the opportunity to donate money at the front table
and purchase raffle tickets, all of which went towards the Sideout Foundation, originators of the Dig Pink campaign. Each Moorpark athlete had a flower that represented a survivor or a loved one who passed and they handed each flower to the families that have fought with cancer. Moorpark’s Erica Smith, #3, has fought against cancer for thirteen years. She had gone through chemo and blood transfusions, as
well as losing her hair three times. Today, she is cancer free. It was awesome to see all the people dressed in pink and all the money that we raised today for breast cancer,” said Smith. Moorpark started on a strong note, opening the game up to a 4-0 lead, forcing the Bulldogs to call a quick timeout. Karissa Flack, #14, came out aggressive,
See DIG, pg. 7
Walking onto Oxnard campus I hear the clear, loud resonance of an alarm go off. Peering around, everyone seems momentarily stunned, but curtly resume their previous activity. This is the first part of the Great California ShakeOut. This event is not only district-wide, but also statewide as the name suggests. Held every third Thursday in October, the ShakeOut this year occurred on the Oct. 21, at 10:21 a.m. Richard DeLaO, Chief of Police for the Ventura County Community College District, was the head coordinator and foremost contact in the event planning. Oxnard College’s President, Dr. Richard Duran, is the first in a chain of command at OC to set off the alarm in case of an earthquake. According to Duran, this is put into place to ensure the safety of the students, faculty and administration. “A general emergency plan for all disasters or dangers, including possible campus shootings,” said Duran.
Photo by Chad Jones
Quake–Angel Rios still studies under the table during The Great California Shake Out on Oct. 21 at Oxnard College.
“In fact, faculty members yearly attend what is known as ‘tabletop’ exercises and training and are given roles to fulfill in the presence of an emergency.” Duran explains that the federal training consists of four courses with the faculty put into teams. The purpose of the training and the drills are to remind people to stay vigilant, for the question is when, not if; referring to the large earthquake (about a 7.5 or greater on the Richter scale) that’s been estimated to have a 50% chance of occurring in the next 30 years. Samantha McClain, a 19-year-old OC student, was one of the students who experienced the Great California Shakeout. “It’s good to have an alarm, and although it
was very loud it was too short,” said McClain. “It would have been nice to have more instructions on what to do when the alarm sounded.” On all three campuses - Moorpark, Oxnard and Ventura—there are official designated emergency sites. Guy Bryan, a grounds-keeper at OC, thought that the drill was a good idea, but seemed somewhat concerned with the process. “Why is there no specific meeting place for everyone that we know of?” said Bryan. “It seems like they gave instruction for anyone who was inside a building, but what do we do if we’re outside?” For the full story and more Oxnard coverage, go online at http:// studentvoiceonline.com.
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Oxnard COLLEGE Student Voice • wwww.StudentVoiceOnline.com
Oct. 27, 2010
Blood, sweat and tears: My Road to Recovery Monica Valencia
OC Campus editor It was Apr. 17, and I was counting down the seconds to the starting kick off for the first game of our season in Redondo Beach. The San Diego Sting was the visiting team, but they stood no chance against us. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing, but I was mentally and physically prepared and ready for this game. After the first half, I went in full force. I stood for a split second and waited for the play to unravel and out of the corner I see their wide receiver heading my way. I took a few steps back to turn and run parallel to her. I tackled her straight to the floor and we both fell straight into the turf. In a splint second, there were football players piling on top of us, and that’s the moment that ended my first season as a professional women’s football player for the Los Angeles Pacific Warriors. The sound of heavy, colliding bodies trampled my leg, as I lay helpless on the field hoping for this to be a nightmare. All I remember is feeling the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. My right leg was twisted underneath six football players that watched me scream my lungs out. Within a month, I received the bad news that my entire Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) had been ruptured. I quickly opted for surgery to repair my injury knowing that it would take about a year to recover. On June 7, I had surgery at the West L.A. Veteran’s Hospital. Anyone with this type of injury
and surgical reconstruction should enter physical therapy within one to two days of surgery in order to initiate proper rehabilitation of the site. I was bed ridden for almost a month, not knowing what my limitations were because it took my doctors three weeks to get me to see a physical therapist. My crutches quickly became my best friends. Most nights, the pain I felt was almost unbearable and I had many sleepless nights full of desperation and anger. Luckily, I had an amazing friend who helped me through my tough time. Crystal Gonzalez, a 23-year-old health science major at California State Long Beach, helped me through the most critical post-surgery months. "I was there when Monica was injured and I could only imagine what she was going through," said Gonzalez. "She’s my friend and I know she needed my help, I was glad to do it." After a few weeks of disappointment with the physical therapists that were assigned to me by the Department of Veteran Affairs, I inquired about new physical therapists near Oxnard. There was so much paperwork, routing and approvals that needed to be done before receiving a decision on whether or not I was approved for new therapy. To my fortune, Athletic Physical Therapy in Oxnard came to my rescue. Dr. Ethan Ezaki, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is the Clinical Manager who decided to grant me with pro-bono work on my injury. "There are some cases where an individual's quality of life can be drastically improved with just a little effort and sacrifice by me and my company,"
Photo courtesy of Ethan Ezaki
We can rebuild her–Dr. Ethan Ezaki stretches out Monica’s leg before the rigorous therapy on her ACL injury.
said Ezaki. "In Monica’s case, her previous rehabilitation facility had failed to get her back to her sport. My goal was to show her that with quality rehabilitation, she would be able to return to the field in a condition that would allow her to perform at her very best." Dr. Ezaki specializes in sports injuries and is passionate about getting his patients back on their feet through rigorous and serious therapy. By the time Athletic PT began their pro-bono work on me, I had developed plenty of scar tissue and I had almost no strength in my quad. Brienna Fouts, Certified Athletic Trainer (ATC), is also assisting in my recovery and enjoys making a positive difference in people’s lives through Athletic PT.
Night of Horror Monica Valencia
OC Campus editor
Photo courtesy of Dina Pielaet
Video-poem–Phil Taggart stands behind the podium at the OC Lecture Series on Oct. 20, as he reads his poems
Poetry with a purpose Monica Valencia
OC Campus editor
With an artistic approach to a medium of video art combined with poetry, a story is revealed about a Ventura resident that suffers from swwwchizophrenia as he struggles to hang on to reality. Phil Taggart, poet, author and videographer, arrived at Oxnard College to share his poetry and video art with students and community members on his diary-like approach that chronicles his brother's life, living with a severe disability and battling with a grim mental disorder. "My brother influences my writing," said Taggart. "I am one of the few people that listen to him and his life is really tragic. Rick gives me something to write about, [his delusions] are his reality, but it's Rick." The presentation was part of the Oxnard College Literature, Arts and Lecture Series that was held on Oct. 20 in LS-8, which was titled, "Rick Sings: A Videopoem." The lecture painted an intimate portrait of who Rick is and his struggles with this type of psychosis that has often led to his homelessness, hunger and shift from reality. Taggart is a co-editor of the "Askew Journal" and author of "Opium Wars." He is an active advocate for mental illness
issues and has received accolades from various organizations for his work on these issues as well as homelessness awareness. Taggart recited several poems and anecdotes as video footage and still photographs played in the background as part of a video montage for his brother Rick, which showed him in interviews, lying on his bed, candidly posed and often smiling for the camera. "This video is giving Rick a voice," said Taggart. "With mental health issues, you are expected to get better and go back to work in society. For Rick, there is no help because he has degenerated." When asked about his collaboration with Rick for this project, Taggart explained that it wasn't a collaboration, but rather therapy for him to do this videopoem. Taggart also mentioned that there are many mental health issues that are not addressed, and that there are some services for these issues that have been cut drastically. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 26.2 percent of Americans (ages 18 and older) suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. They also show that this percentage translates into 57.7 million people, when applied to the 2004 U.S. Census residential population
estimation for ages 18 and older. Taggart spoke about showing Rick to the audience through his lens and through what Taggart essentially feels. He also explained that Rick is aware of his efforts in showcasing his video-poems and that Rick knows that Taggart is his brother, nothing more and nothing less. "This is about awareness," said Taggart. "This is about giving Rick and people like him a voice." This lecture was not just poetic, but unique in its scope. Students felt very in tune with the topic and voiced their concerns after the lecture. Michael Cozier was one of the many students that sympathized with Rick and his disorder. "I have a sister that is schizophrenic and its very important to show our community that people who suffer from this are in a constant battle with themselves," said Cozier. "I wish I could help my sister as much as Phil is helping Rick." Shelley Savren, English professor and coordinator for this lecture, was pleased to see students from her creative writing class attend the presentation. "This is a really unique thing that Phil Taggart is doing by combining photography and video art," said Savren. "I also think the subject of his presentation on mental illness and homelessness is really an important one."
"It is amazing to be part of a person's road to recovery because you get to see them improve and progress and you are with them every step of the way until they reach their goals," said Fouts. "I am proud to be part of an organization that cares about each individual patients and their progress." As an athlete, I realize the importance of injury rehabilitation and the importance of getting quality care for yourself. I am more than grateful that a clinic like this one stepped in to offer a helping hand in such a crucial time for me as an athlete and as a person. Without the help of Dr. Ezaki and Fouts, my road to recovery would have been cut short and my future career as a professional women’s football player would be over.
For those hungry for some well-crafted, vintage gore, Oxnard College’s associated student government has the solution. Horror movie aficionados will find themselves at home at Oxnard College ASG’s “Scary Movie Nite,” an evening showcasing three Academy Award winning horror classics. All films will be presented on Oct. 29 at the OC Student Lounge across from the amphitheatre. The event itself is free and everyone is ab-
solutely encouraged to attend for some classic Halloween fun. The snack bar will be open and with an assortment of refreshments available for purchase. For those that are looking for a milder embodiment of the Halloween spirit, the animated feature “Monster House” will suffice, screening first in the series at 5:30 – 7:15p.m. Following that will be the essential Alfred Hitchcock classic, “Psycho”, at 7:30p.m. Ending the evening is the notoriously menacing feature “The Exorcist”, at 9:30p.m.
Illustration courtesy of ASG
Scary Movie Nite showtimes
This festive commemoration of some of the most well-regarded horror benchmarks is one great way to get into the holiday spirit, so join your fellow students and peers to celebrate the season.
Community Market helps fund OC Scholarships
Photo by Greg Branam
Most of the proceeds from the OC Community Market, held on Saturdays and Sundays, help fund the many student scholarships that are awarded every year through the OC Foundation
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Photo courtesy of vcpiratesoup.com
Arrr–The brand new online journal for Ventura College is still a work in progress. The ASVC is hoping it can become a place for students to connect with each other online.
Hungry for new a website? Just try some Pirate Soup Samantha Cervantes Contributing writer
Ventura College is in development of Pirate Soup, a new online media source for students to express any of their ideas about campus life to an interested audience. ASVC President Kathleen Leonard helped establish a website where different types of students could share favorite hobbies and/or activities online and give insight on the subject to others. “Pirate Soup will
connect students to campus life and support club voices and students’ creativity,” said Leonard. It only took around one year to get the website approved by the school board and begin its production. Starting out as talk and brainstorming, former ASVC President Kea Kenamu wanted to create an accessible site that allowed students to reach out to each other and offer information others might find useful. Leonard, taking the place of Kenamu as ASVC president, was
committed to carrying out his legacy for Pirate Soup. As she agreed during her election, she took the idea to the school board and it was eventually approved unanimously. Their reasoning for the vote was to adopt Pirate Soup as a legacy for VC. Leonard hopes the student body will adopt the website and offer insight on what they are best capable of offering to their peers. She wants to encourage students to re-
alize that they all have talent in them that they can share. However, Leonard was not alone in getting the website established. ASVC Vice President Joe Ruiz, a major in Agricultural Science, was also a major help. He believes people should not forget about the agriculture that surrounds them. With Pirate Soup, Ruiz is going to make videos with Phil McGrath for Agricultural Development that will hopefully get students, staff and faculty to get
involved. Amy Jones from 451 Media created the website with the AS. Jones is considered as the one who runs Pirate Soup and decides what will be added and what is not appropriate, and although it’s stationed in Ventura, it will not be available to only Ventura students. “The site will be available to the general public, meaning, it will not require a password to view the content,” Jones stated in an email. Students from Oxnard College or Moor-
park College are able to access the website as well and add their own ingenuity if they would like. Pirate Soup is going to be a new media source for communication between students on the campus along with the other two junior colleges. The ASVC is hoping it will create unity within the student bodies as well as give each other information to help one another and pique interests. Visit the site at www.vcpiratesoup.com.
VC East Campus raises breast cancer awareness
Channing Chea
VC Campus editor Ventura College East Campus hosted its second annual Breast Cancer Awareness Day on Oct. 24.
The Associated Students of East Campus organized a breast cancer awareness event for the second year. Educational materials for breast cancer were given out to students. Some of the items
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given out included pink buttons, stickers and pencils, representing the international symbol for breast cancer, a pink ribbon. To read more, go to StudentVoiceOnline. com.
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Fundraising through golf Cameron Heffernan Sports editor
VC hosted its fourth annual Brian Marshall Golf Classic Fundraiser at the Saticoy Country Club Oct. 18. The competition honors the late coach Brian Marshall and raises funds for the VC athletic department. Tim
Harrison, dean of athletics for VC and the events coordinator for the past two years, praised the golf tournament. “It’s just a great event to bring not only past alumni to, but the community as well. Brian Marshall represents what all coaches do,” said Harrison. “This is our fourth year and
we hope to carry on for years to come.” Brian Marshall’s son, James Marshall, was also out on the greens. “The important thing is they are raising money for VC athletics, it’s great that they are honoring my father given all the coaching positions he had over the years,” said Marshall.
ASVC: Eat and educate Channing Chea
VC Campus editor
The ASVC will be hosting a fundraiser for a foreign school at California Pizza Kitchen on Thursday, Oct. 28. Therese Kubilos, the event coordinator knows that any amount of money will help students in other countries get a better education. “The money they make is what supports their efforts to aid in bettering the education of the Nicaraguan communities,” said Kubilos. The benefit event is being held at the CPK in
the Pacific View Mall. Anyone and brings in the yellow flyer distributed by the ASVC will have 20 percent of their check automatically donated to La Mariposa School in Nicaragua. 100 percent of proceeds “aid the efforts to educate and support the less privileged children in Nicaragua,” as posted on the event’s flyer. La Mariposa Spanish School is a younger school, only open for five years. It is an immersion Spanish school, and is also an eco-hotel.
All of the teachers are native Nicaraguans and have plenty of experience in the education workforce. The school, located in rural Nicaragua, helps to create an experience where students will learn much about the culture of the native Nicaraguans. To obtain more information on La Mariposa Spanish School and Eco-hotel, visit www. mariposaspanishschool. com. For more Ventura College coverage, go to www.studentvoiceonline.com
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Swinging for old times’ sake- The Brian Marshall Golf Classic was held on Monday,Oct. 18.
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Student Voice • www.StudentVoiceOnline.com
Oct. 27, 2010
Candidates in the upcoming election meet students at MC Alison Skinner Staff writer
Civics day brings electoral hopefuls.
Moorpark College students got a little taste of California politics on Civics Day. Booths were set up to encourage students to participate in November’s upcoming election. Students were able to stroll down Raider Walk Oct. 14 from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. and talk to election-office officials, party members and candidates. Voting registers aided students in filling out registration forms quickly, enabling them to be on their way. Representatives from both parties regarded the event as a success after so many
students showed interest in registering. Lindsay Kaye, a representative from Moorpark College for the Republican Party, explained the need for such an event at a community college. “People can ask questions directly so it helps students get a better picture of who to vote for,” said Kaye. “It encourages college students, who for the most part are the worst about voting, to get out there and gain their voice.” Candidates for the Ventura County Community College Board were also in attendance, with booths on either side of Raider Walk. Dan Peate, one of the candidates for Board trustee, found Civics Day to be important in his relationship with the students. “I want them to know me and talk to
me,” said Peate. “They’re the reason I’m running. I put them first and I want them to know that.” Diane McKay, Peate’s opposition in the run for trustee, expressed her own connection with community college students and universities alike. “I took classes at a community college and my daughter transferred from one. I feel like I can relate to this whole thing,” said McKay. “It’s hard to know who to vote for, and I hope that this helps with us being here.” Students like Colette Hapip, an 18-year-old with an undecided major, expressed their gratitude in being able to attain more information regarding the elections. “I think Civics Day is a great thing,” said Hapip. “I wouldn’t even know who to vote for or even that there was an
election going on without being here.” Other students like Patrick Stover, a 25-yearold sociology major, found the election office’s booth to be very useful. “It makes it a lot easier to know how to register and vote,” Stover said. “It’s cool to have two candidates here but I’ve already made up my mind.” Tim Allison, the democratic candidate for Congress, also attended the event. Allison explained his desire to connect with college students. “I’m passionately concerned with a student’s future,” said Allison. “We have a great responsibility to help students get involved. It’s time we looked at our future leaders and had them be a part of all of this.”
Photo by Lucas Hinojosa
Students meet election hopefuls during Civics Day
Photo By Cameron Kolkey
Ferial Masry (front) and Jeff Gorrell (back) face off
Body of student discovered at hiking spot in Santa Monica Greg Branam Staff writer
Moorpark student, Tristan Sayre, found dead in Santa Monica Mountains on Oct. 15 Photo by Lucas Hinojosa
Sayre
The body of an 18-year-old Moorpark College student was discovered at a popular hiking spot in the Santa Monica Mountains, according to authorities.
Sayre went for a hike on the previous day near the Sandstone Peak area of the Santa Monica Mountains and never returned home, according to Senior Deputy Shane Matthews with the Ventura County Sheriff’s Aviation Department. It isn’t yet known what happened, but Michael Tellez, Ventura County Deputy Medical Examiner said it was deemed an accident and the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head.
Students get ready for boo at the zoo- EATM will be putting on animal performances
Boo at the Zoo: EATM animals love Halloween costumes too Lucas Hinojosa Staff writer my.
Lions and snakes and baboons- oh
Coming this Halloween, Moorpark Colleges American Teaching Zoo proudly presents its yearly haunted event, Boo at the Zoo. Watch as Moorpark’s teaching zoo gets transformed into a ghostly land of Halloween fun. The zoo will have a kid’s zone area, which is going to have a number of Halloween themed games for kids. The Exotic Animal Training and Management students themselves will be in charge of running the entire event. Attractions will include animal shows, face paintings, trick-or-treating with the animals, raffles, prizes and more. Shows will be taking place every hour on the hour. Alisa Behar, Zoo operations assistant, said that this year they are going to have a creepy crawler’s booth where attendees can see and touch some of the zoo’s snakes, roaches and other creepy crawlers. “Boo at the Zoo is for everyone,” said Behar. “I think that probably most of the activities that are going to be going on are a little bit more towards kids, but there will still be animal shows going on throughout the day.” There are only two teaching zoos in America; Moorpark is one of them and the other is in Florida. In addition to the many activities which will be taking place on this two day event, a costume parade for kids
will be set up. This year, Boo at the Zoo is going to be having appetizers and drinks, which were not available last year. Every area of the zoo will be decorated and themed differently to fit the Halloween season thrill. The parrot area will be transformed into a parrot pumpkin patch, where as the primates are going to be pirate themed. There is going to be a carnivore feeding which will be taking place on both days. During this particular show, visitors can come and see a hand full of the carnivores at the zoo being fed. America’s Teaching Zoo at Moorpark College has a variety of animals to come and see, including an African lion, two mountain lions, a hyena and a couple of baboons. In addition, the zoo has an alligator for which they have built a new enclosure, which is now on display to the public. Boo at the Zoo will be taking place Oct. 30 and Oct. 31 from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Adults are $5 to enter, seniors and children are $4, and children 2 and under are free. “Students get in free as well, so it’s a cool thing for them to come up to the zoo especially, if they have never been here before,” said Behar. For more information on Moorpark College’s Teaching Zoo or the Boo at the Zoo event, please visit www.moorparkcollege.edu and look for the icon entitled “Teaching Zoo” or call 805-378-1441.
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Oct. 27, 2010
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‘Rent’ bedazzles at MC Tonisha Franklin Staff writer
Photo courtesy of Moorpark Performing Arts Department
Modern Day Love - Mimi, played by Joelle Georgeoff, lights up the stage in the Moorpark College production of “RENT.”
AIDS, drug addiction, same sex relations and exotic dancing combined with real friendship, true love and modern day living was expressed through dance and music in the rock opera “RENT.” The stage was realistically set in the back alley of an apartment complex where the characters live. Along with this massive set, a live band off stage right accentuated the live atmosphere of the show. No pre-recorded music was used for this production. The question is, did it meet the expectations of the director, cast, as well as the audience? The cast members, who live and breathe the production whether in rehearsal or live on stage, say yes. “I think we finally solidified our characters,” said cast member Pablo Gonzalez who played the infamous Angel. “It feels so real now.” The director of the musical, Rolland Petrello, Moorpark College professor of Communication Studies and Theatre, said he was very happy with the produc-
tion. He anticipated an 80 percent theatre capacity per show, a number that was met and surpassed. “The play was very colorful,” said 18-yearold MC student Kelly Eisenbrand. “I felt the chemistry between Angel and Collins was the most realistic.” The two characters Angel and Collins were together in a homosexual relationship, and their surrounding friends looked to their companionship in the highest regard. Other cast members were non-students and there to support their community as well as to enjoy the show. Some members saw the production elsewhere and were curious to see Moorpark’s reenactment. “Even though it was hard to hear over the band at times, I did enjoy the singing,” said Brandon Plush, 23, who had the chance to see the same production on Broadway. “I was, however, disappointed with the dancing, my impression was there was to be much more of it.” For more information, please contact the MC box office at (805) 378-1485.
‘Read’-ing between the lines: creativity through poetry Devien Carrion
Staff writer Potential poet laureates gathered at “The Read” to flex their creativity and express their emotions though the written word. Poetry fans met at the Moorpark College library/learning resources building on Oct. 20 for readings from three guest speakers and first timers. One of the special speakers and first up to the mic was Helga Winkler, MC Spanish professor. Reading some origi-
nal poetry and pieces from foreign countries, Winkler expressed the importance of expanding poetry horizons. “I encourage [students] to read poetry from another country,” said Winkler. “It’s amazing how much you can learn just by reading poetry from other countries.” Following Winkler, student poets bravely took the mic to read their original works, which was rewarded with gracious applause. Hart Schulz, MC English professor, was
the next speaker, opening with the lighter side of poetry, keeping it comedic and light hearted. Showcasing works from Germany, Schulz compared and contrasted American and German poetry. In hopes of sparking students’ creativity, Schulz distributed free poetry books to the crowd. David Cabrera, an MC student, expressed his surprise at the poetry potential at MC. “I didn’t know we had so many talented writers here at school,”
said Cabrera. The last guest speaker was Jade Shames, a poet for over 10 years, freelance writer and writer at Demand Studios. Shames read original work from his book. Shames takes much of his inspiration from his own life, such as a poem he wrote about his grandfather. “Many of my poetry comes from personal experiences,” said Shames. If you want to submit any of your own poetry contact Schulz at hschulz@vcccd.edu
Poetry in motion: New perspective on the literary world for a new age Lucas Hinojosa Staff writer
Photo courtesy of Magnet Releasing
Review-’Monsters’ in mexico Infected Zone - Whitney Able in MONSTERS.
Kenny Redublo A&E editor
When disaster strikes, panic ensues. As the situation turns dire, logic seems impossible and grief sets in. What happens when we move on? Where the typical monster movie ends, that’s where “Monsters” begins. Set a year after NASA discovers a possibility of alien life on Europa, a moon of Jupiter, a probe sent to collect spores from the planet crash lands in the Mexican ocean. Soon after, new life forms are discovered and half of Mexico is deemed the Infected Zone. Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy), an American photojournalist, is sent on a special assignment to escort his boss’s daughter Sam Wynden (Whitney Able) back from Mexico into the US. After failed attempts to easily and safely return home, Kaulder and Sam must take their chances through the Infected Zone. At its core, “Monsters” is essentially a road movie. The exotic scenery, the varying modes of transportation, the consistent yet so far away destination are all elements of the typical road movie, but aliens are thrown into the mix. This dangerous factor does not seem to create any sense of dread
upon the journey though. Maybe due to the acceptance of the creatures or just pure ambiguity, nothing seems to phase the main characters in their unfortunate ordeal. Trying to capitalize on their reallife relationship, Able and McNairy’s on-screen chemistry comes off as strangely dull. With flat line deliveries and boring conversations, the use of improv was wasted from these two actors. Though not masterfully acted, “Monsters” has its scenery to rely upon. Vast landscapes and thick jungles littered with the ravages of the creatures convey the film’s strong points. The delicate cinematography shows where this first time director’s (Gareth Edwards) roots and strengths lie. Edwards lets each shot tell its own story, but that, in turn, takes away from the actors. Paired with a subtle ambient score, “Monsters” is more a visual and aural treat than a narrative driven film. As a cheap complete indie package, “Monsters” excels in aspects like CG, even surpassing some blockbuster films, cinematography and score to hide its minuscule budget, but its plot holes and flat performances keep this film from being the breakout sci-fi hit it has the potential of being.
Photo by Cameron Kolkey
Poetry power - Prof. Hart Schulz uses the power of words for free creative expression through poetry.
Through the power of language and imagery, poetry readings at Moorpark College will soon be looked at from a new perspective and appreciation. The Read event is a series of poetry readings which takes place four times every semester. The readings hold a time where students and anyone from the community can come out to read their poetry and have it be recognized from students, teachers, and anyone from the community. On Nov. 18, the last poetry reading for the semester will be taking place with something more than just words being fed into the mind. This year, the producers for the Read were focusing on working with individuals interested in exploring new ideas and possibilities in poetry. It did not take long for the thought of motion picture and poetry to come into action. Tim Samoff, instructor of the Multimedia Department and Moorpark College, was quickly approached to help. With help from his graphic students and poets coming together, stories and poetry readings were able to come alive and spark emotion through listening to creative poetry and viewing art through images and videos all at the same time. Currently there is a total of 6 different pieces which will be presented on Nov.18. Through the duration of poets reciting their poems, a film will wash over them and be displayed on a screen right behind them while they are performing. Most of the films being displayed were produced and created by Samoff’s graphics students.
Not all of the poets who are reciting their poems are students. A lot of the poets come from the outskirts of the community to touch the lives of more listeners. Most of the poets are part of a performance group entitled “The Workshop.” The workshop poets spent most of their summer performing at different poetry venues, festivals and library readings to expand the importance of poetry. Sandra Hunter, English Professor at Moorpark College and contributors to the Read events, said that having the workshop poets and graphics students work together on a project is an example of what is currently in the hype of the many ways society wants to hear and see poetry come to life. “You are seeing a lot of this crosspollination of art in a number of different areas, so this is really exciting for us because we have never tried anything like this before,” said Hunter. “Right now the pieces are growing day by day.” Everyone from the community is welcome to come and be a part of the poetry readings and motion picture screenings. The Read event on Nov. 18 will be located of the 3rd floor of the campus library and will only take up around 30. It’s absolutely free. Just be ready to open up your mind to new thoughts, imagery, and feelings. “I think that events where you get infatuated in the experience, whether it is color infatuation, sound infatuation, or emotional infatuation, you become a part of that event,” said Hunter. “You as an audience member become very much a part of the event and you are not just observing it anymore, you are a part of the creative process and I think that is such a vital part to any performance.”
Opinion Page 6
Student Voice • www.StudentVoiceOnline.com
Oct. 27, 2010
2010 MIDTERM ELECTION SECTION
Depressing choices for governor James Harding Online editor
Just days remain until the Nov. 2 election and divisive rhetoric and misleading attack ads seem to be the weapon of choice for both candidates. Both Jerry Brown, the Democratic candidate for governor, and Meg Whitman, the Republican candidate, say the fiscal vitality of the state is their top priority. However they couldn’t have more different plans about how to bring about the economic growth needed] to solve the state’s eco-
Photo illustration by Devan Lotz
Who will win? - We’re not sure yet, but the real question is whether we want either of them as our governor.
nomic challenges. In the most recent debate, both candidates agreed that California’s government had grown too large and expensive to sustain and is in
need of reform. Instead of elaborating on their different plans to fix the state’s fiscal situation, they spent most of their time attacking each other, successfull avoiding
Yes on Prop 21: Save California state parks
Photo illustration by Chad Jones
Not just for treehuggers - The California State Parks Initiative will help us reconnect with nature.
Matthew Murphy Staff writer
Prop 21 is a sleeper on the November 2 ballot, not having garnered the attention of the governor’s race, Prop 19 or Prop 23. It’s quite an important measure though; its passage would create a trust fund for state parks funded via an $18 fee attached to non-commercial vehicle registration. Prop 21’s passage means the improvement of woefully-underfunded state parks. Day-use parking is removed for registered
vehicles, for a start. Prop 21 will also allow parks to receive proper staffing, maintenance, and a return of park amenities that were cut. If you want trails to be well maintained, beaches kept clean and safe and basic services like well-stocked bathrooms, Prop 21 will get this done. Opponents of the bill have a number of concerns, but the big one is that we wouldn’t need the fee if the state budgeted properly in the first place. It would be prefera-
ble to spend current state revenue more wisely. In this case, however, we should take the opposite perspective. Mike Genest, former state financial director, on the California State Parks Initiative website called Prop 21 “a longterm, dedicated funding source that gets state parks off the constant budget rollercoaster.” Prop 21 puts state park funding in the hands of concerned citizens instead of leaving it with lawmakers who have chronically underfunded them. It’s supported by teachers, park rangers, firefighters and nature preservation societies like the Sierra Club, as well as public health advocacy groups. State parks provide a way to easily reconnect with nature, and their existence shouldn’t be jeopardized by the whims of politicians. Prop 21 gives our state parks steady funding that can’t be interrupted or siphoned off for other purposes. Saving our state parks is worth the cost of this bill. Vote Yes on Prop 21.
any substantive debate on the issues. Brown has been involved in politics in California for 40 years, serving as Governor from 1975 to 1983. He is
Student voters’ guide to Props 19-27
Moorpark
”I’d vote yes, because even though I don’t smoke, it’s about personal choice.” -Tina Way, 33, Nursing
“I don’t smoke weed myself, but the legalization will help stabilize our economy.” -Direk Cartright, 28, Theater
ing this tax will cost the state an estimated $4 billion to $4.5 billion annually. Eliminating this tax will disproportionally benefit wealthy individuals and businesses because 95 percent of this tax is paid by the wealthiest 5 percent of Californians. The California Tax Payers Association claims that this tax cut constitutes a conflict of interest since Whitman will not have to pay an estimated $8 million to $41 million annually on her investments. Neither candidate is perfect or even desirable as governor, but one thing is certain: California cannot afford to trust an outsourcing millionaire to balance the state budget without making harmful cuts to public education.
A rundown of all the propositions on the ballot Frank Runyeon Opinion editor
Who has time to read the whole ballot? Just take a quick look at our summary of the propositions on the ballot. Prop 19 legalizes possession of 1 ounce of marijuana for adults 21 and over and seeks to tax and regulate it like alcohol. Supporters predict large tax revenues and a profit loss for Mexican drug cartels. Opponents say it’s a poorly written
What do you think about Prop 19? Ventura
indeed a career politician although certainly would describe himself as a career public servant. Whitman, on the other hand, is fresh out of the private sector where she worked as CEO of eBay and as a board member of Goldman Sachs. Whitman has not voted for 28 years, according to public records. She also embraces “trickle-down economics.” The embodiment of this belief is her desire to eliminate the capital gains tax. The elimination of this tax may encourage businesses to relocate to California or ones that are here to expand but will leave another huge hole in a state budget that already looks like Swiss cheese. According to thinkprogress.org, eliminat-
Oxnard
”I oppose Prop. 19 because I know it will lead to increased crime and more addiction.” -Rosa Infante, 34, Sociology
Ventura
Moorpark
Oxnard
“By legalizing marijuana you take a huge amount of income from the criminal element.” -Noel Mercado, 38, Sign Language
“It takes away the mystique of the whole thing; the feeling of being rebellious.” -Alex Stevens, 18, Health Care
”I oppose Prop. 19 because it will be accessible to everyone on a legal basis after the age of 21.” -Alberto Machuca, 22, Fire Tech.
Student Voice Staff Editor Brennan Whitmore
MC Campus editor Richard Vinson
Sports editor Cameron Heffernan
Student Life editor Dustin Brewer
Online editor James Harding
OC Campus editor Monica Valencia
A&E editor Kenny Redublo
Copy editor Robert Pond
Opinion editor Frank Runyeon
VC Campus editor Channing Chea
Photo editor Chad Jones
Producers Keilah Vidal Casey Gates Raeana Reed
7075 Campus Rd. Moorpark, Calif. 93021 Phone: (805) 378-1552
Illustration by Devan Lotz
law that will have “severe, unintended consequences.” Their chief concerns include more stoned drivers and a protected class of pot-smoking employees. Props 20 & 27 propose two different solutions to the issue of redistricting, that is, redrawing the boundaries of voting districts. Voting yes on Prop 20 empowers a citizen’s commission to map new districts and provides a clear definition of what a district is. Voting yes on Prop 27 would return the responsibility of defining the term and redistricting to the legislature. Whatever you choose, only vote yes on one of them! Prop 21 proposes an $18 annual vehicle surcharge for state parks, deposited into a secure trust fund. Aside from replenishing Yosemite’s coffers, this charge gets you free entrance into state parks. Although opponents say it’s just the “car tax” in disguise. Prop 22 prevents the state from borrowing funding from transportation, redevelopment, or local government projects or services. This will prevent the state from raiding local funds— something supporters hail as a long-awaited solution to an unfair situation. But opponents say it will hurt state schools and firefighting while benefiting redevelopment agencies. Prop 23 suspends air pollution control law
AB23 until unemployment stays under 5.5% for one year—which is unlikely anytime soon. Those for Prop 23 say that suspending the law will create more jobs and allow the state to recover economically. Opponents assert that Prop 23 is a scheme by Texas oil companies to repeal clean energy efforts and that it would hurt the “green energy” sector. Prop 24 repeals tax breaks for businesses. Supporters say much of the tax revenue would go towards ensuring that schools are well funded. Opponents say repealing tax breaks would cost Californians over a hundred thousand jobs. Prop 25 makes the budget approval process easier by lowering the votes required to a simple majority; tax changes would still require a twothirds vote. Prop 25 also punishes legislators for a late budget by giving them zero pay for every day it’s late. Prop 26 expands the definition of a tax, which will pass regulatory fees—currently paid by businesses—to the public as taxes. In effect, fees for oil recycling, hazardous waste management, and alcohol education programs currently paid for by oil, tobacco, and alcohol companies would be passed to average taxpayer. See the official voter guide online for a more in-depth look: www. voterguide.sos.ca.gov/ propositions/
Staff writers: Devien Carrion Morgan Murray Sally Garcia Lucas Hinojosa Jennifer Santana Lindsay Shuman Kurtis Tollefson Greg Branam
Alysha Zapata Tonisha Franklin Jurel Battad Matthew Murphy Ali Skinner Raeana Reed Gabrielle Altabef Andrew Smith Anna VanderStouwe
Fax: (805) 378-1438 Email: StudentVoice@vcccd.edu
Sports Oct. 27, 2010
Student Voice • www.StudentVoiceOnline.com
Page 7
Photo by Richard Vinson
Defending her turf- Oxnard defender Alicia Valdez fights off Moorpark mid-fielder Amanda Viescas, Oxnard’s defence was sorely tested all afternoon by a determined Moorpark offence.
MC Women’s soccer takes 2-0 win over Oxnard Richard Vinson
MC Campus editor
MC womens soccer wins crucial WSC game. Moorpark women’s soccer improved their record to 4-1 in Western
State Conference play Friday afternoon with a convincing 2-0 win over inter-county rival Oxnard. Moorpark’s offense was effective with dynamic duo Amy Cole and Lindsey McClellan leading the charge with great ball handling which gave them a large number of shots on goal. Moorpark took the lead early with a goal by Cole in the first half and
never let up. In the second half Moorpark’s offense sealed the game with a sliding kick by McClellan which found the left corner of the goal. Strong midfield and dominant backfield play allowed Moorpark to keep their lead throughout the game. The immense force of the Moorpark midfielders Katheryn Klamecki and Briana Brooskin
kept Oxnard off-balance throughout the match and Oxnard was unable to come up with any sustained drives. Oxnard’s few shots came from long distance and Oxnard appeared unable to get its forwards coordinated. Moorpark women’s soccer coach Eric Privat believed that the key for the game was the drive and anticipation for the team.
PAY OFF
“The girls were very eager for victory in this cross county rivalry game, and they played a very physical and aggressive game,”said Privat. Moorpark’s physicality was especially evident on defense where they kept Oxnard without any significant shots on goal. This win will give Moorpark momentum for its upcoming game
against Santa Barbara City College. Privat believes that next week’s game will be a big one. “We needed to have a strong mental performance today to get us ready for Santa Barbara,”said Privat. Oxnard will attempt to get back on track against Hancock College this Tuesday. Oxnard’s record falls to (2-4-1) in WSC play.
DIG: MC Volleyball Digs for a Cure
Photo by Chad Jones
Digging for a cure-Chelcy Westphal sets up Jessica Soprano for the spike.
continued from pg 1
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with 3 kills in a row for the Lady Raiders early on. “I wanted to stay aggressive and put them away early,” said Flack. The Raiders were too much for the Bulldogs in the first game, resulting in Moorpark winning 25-16. Flack continued her dominance in game two, overpowering the Bulldogs. The Raiders continued their dominant play in the second game and opened with a 9-4 lead causing the Bulldogs to call another timeout. Allan Hancock came out looking like a different team, cutting the lead to 3 points with the
score 12-9. The Bulldogs put up a fight, but it wasn’t enough as the Raiders won the second game 25-17, Raiders. After the game Howard Davis, athletic director, announced that over $1,200 was raised for the fight against breast cancer. “It was unbelievable,” said Davis. “Especially since we have a cancer survivor on our team, it was really special.” Moorpark swept Allan Hancock three games to zero. The Lady Raiders aspire to continue their winning streak as they host Santa Barbara this Friday, which will be one of the biggest games of the year for MC.
Student Life
Page 8
Student Voice • www.StudentVoiceOnline.com
Oct. 27, 2010
2011 Honda CR-Z is best of both worlds Channing Chea
VC Campus editor With styling even more retro than the common hybrid, Honda combines sport car thrills with Smart Car stamina in its new sport-hybrid. The CR-Z sport hatchback—not to be confused with the CR-V crossover S.U.V.—is a car in a class of its own. The unique body style will turn heads, and the fun styling of its instrument panel will keep you playing with the buttons, and if you aren’t impressed by its looks, check out the dashboard. The CR-Z is possibly the first ve-
Photo by Cameron Kolkey
The Dash-You cannot tell from the photo but the dashboard is 3-Dimensional. Trust us, it’s awesome.
hicle with a three-dimensional display. The Speedometer, R.P.M. gauge and other doohickeys pop out at you when you turn on the car. Intrigued
Butera’s Billiards hosts second annual Scaryoke in Moorpark Lindsay Shuman Staff Writer
Halloween is fast approaching and Butera’s Billiards is kicking it off with their second annual Scaryoke event. Guests will be able to participate in several contests to win prizes, which include karaoke and best costume. Various prizes will be given away including a $500 custom pool cue. Guests can come sing their heart out and even win a prize. Garret Clark, a 20-year-old chemistry major at Moorpark, attended the inaugural Scaryoke and anticipates a larger turn out this year. “Everyone gets really into it, there’s no such thing as a bad
yet? Well, if not, don’t worry. We’re just getting started. Unlike anything expected from a hybrid, the CR-Z didn’t have anything constantly reminding you that you’re driving a vehicle that runs partly off electricity. Apart from the energy consumption gauge, it doesn’t spew information at you that the average person believes as useless. All of this added to the instrument panels simplicity. At idle, the CR-Z is even quieter than the average hybrid, e.g. the Toyota Prius. The interior was detailed and stylish; something one would expect from a sports car. The sound system provided a very clear sound. It wasn’t too mumbled or too strong in bass or treble. Of course these settings could be adjusted, but the default settings were comfortable enough for the driver not to worry about tweaking them. The CR-Z was truly impressive performance-wise. It felt like I was driving a regular car, not because it was run-of-the-mill, but because it was comfortable and familiar. I could hear the engine upon accelerating, which I didn’t mind since the car was particularly responsive. When testing the turning radius, I may as well have been driving a Smart Fortwo. I was able to execute consecutive 360s in less than a 20-foot diameter circle. Honda has also perfected the CR-
Photo by Cameron Kolkey
Sleek and sexy- The 2011 Honda CR-Z awaiting its new master at Simi Valley’s First Honda car dealership showrooms.
Z’s braking, and along with the Antilock Braking System, the car also has electronic braking. This allows the car to stop on a dime without any pull, skid, or clicks from the ABS. The steering gave plenty more road-feel and was easy to handle. Like many new-age hybrid or sport vehicles, the CR-Z has three performance options. “Sport” immediately and significantly ups the car’s responsiveness, “Normal” is exactly what it sounds like and “Econ” saves you some gas. When turning sharply, the car showed no signs of body roll or leaning. I find it impressive that Honda
found a way to defy gravity. The car is only a two-seater, but provides exceptional storage. The CR-Z may be more fun to drive, but it doesn’t get nearly as good of gas mileage as the average hybrid. But with 33/38 M.P.G. and a base price of under $20,000, Honda is making pretty good headway. The Honda CR-Z is the best of both worlds. Great gas and a fun, fast ride. You can have your cake and eat it too. And after that, go back for seconds and thirds. The college student looking to make an investment for transportation would not be disappointed. But what else would you expect from a Honda?
Cyber-Bullying: No longer fun & games
Michael Lemerand Features editor
costume there,” said Clark. “Everyone just wants to oneup each other.” Scaryoke will be held at Butera’s Billiards, located at 476 W. Los Angeles Ave. in Moorpark, and will go from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. Friday, Oct. 29. Alcohol will be available for the majority of the night to those 21 and over, and according to owner and professional pool player Sal Butera, Butera’s Billiards has the largest selection of imported and domestic beer in Moorpark. There is no cover charge for entry, and although alcohol will be served, the event is for all ages so anyone is invited to join the festivities. “We have a variety of age groups, and it’s a fun and safe place to come and hang out,” said Butera.For students looking for a place to hang out in-between parties and show off their costumes, Butera’s is ready for a night of “scaryoke.”
“Cyber-bullying” is a term that, surprisingly, doesn’t carry very much gravity when mentioned in the news or in public discussions. While it has been a sinister mechanism resulting in fatal, tragic consequences numerous times, it’s still being confronted with a subdued and ineffective response. Defined by Bell Belsley, the founder of stopbullying.org, “cyber-bullying” is the use of “information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated and hostile behavior by an individual or group that is intended to harm others.” Not exclusive to the public schools people often associate any form of bullying with, the medium of communication technologies has given a new dynamic to the perpetrators of this harmful, invasive attack; it has given them a comfortable forum to do things their conscience wouldn’t permit in a more tangible social setting. Take, for example, the tragedy of Megan Meier. After creating a profile on the
popular social networking site Myspace, the 13-year-old was befriended by a teenagboy named Josh Evans. Unbeknownst to Meier, who had a history of manic depression and suicidal impulses, “Josh Evans” was a fabrication by Lori Drew, a 49-year-old mother of one of Meiers’ former friend. Meier frequently exchanged messages with Drew’s fake profile, and she quickly found herself attracted to this disarming stranger. Quickly as it started, the tone of their conversations took a foul turn, culminating in a message as cold as it was effortlessly simple: “Everybody in O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you.” Meier was then found hanging in her closet the same day that message was sent. Drew was convicted on the matter in 2008, but the ruling was reversed and appealed in 2009 because the preceding judge ruled the government’s theory to be unconstitutional. Also take into account the suicide of Ryan Halligan, a 13-year-old boy that com-
mitted suicide after being bombarded with derogatory homosexual accusations. Other than some minor changes to Vermont’s legislation, no one was held accountable for their part in Halligan’s suicide. More recently, the suicide of Tyler Clementi, 18, a freshman at Rutger’s University that jumped off the Washington Bridge after someone in his dorm filmed a sexual encounter between Celmenti and another man and posted it online. Though there are amendments being made to suit societies rapidly evolving technological communication mediums, it’s clear that other measures need to be taken to control this epidemic. This is an issue that isn’t federal or state responsibility; it is a matter of discipline, humanity and personal responsibility. This is something we need to instill in our children and maintain in our personal affairs. This is something we need to diffuse if we are able to do so. It is a disservice to these deceased, young individuals to continue looking for a federal or state solution to a problem that should end precisely where it started.
Humor- Ferguson McCheese runs for mayoral office Dustin Brewer
Student Life editor While coverage for this years’ election has been extensive and abundant to a point of over-saturation, one dark horse candidate has gone largely unmentioned. Ferguson McCheese has been mayor of McDonaldland for over 30 years and could lead the state with strict laws that have proven effective for his entire tenure as mayor. As a child, young Ferguson was often criticized for his appearance. Kids would try to feed him to birds and would call him names like ‘Poppy Seed’ and ‘Meat Breath.’ As a result, he vowed to make sure that no one would experience the hardships he had to endure. His efforts have proven successful. McCheese has kept crime in McDon-
aldland to a minimum, with hamburglary as the only real threat to town security. Also proving to be a man of the people, McCheese was able to build a working relationship with the Grimmace. Previously an outcast, he has become a pillar of strength to the community. McCheese also has a strong stance on Proposition 19. He believes that citizens have the right to hold the lettuce, as long as it’s less than one ounce. In perhaps his biggest contribution in his entire career, McCheese green lit a rehabilitation program for former coke addicts, leading to the recovery of Ronald J McDonald. McDonald was previously a notorious coke fiend he ended up in a gutter, having fried half the nerves in his brain and permanently staining his face white.
McCheese’s program helped turn McDonald into a successful fast food icon, and
while some questioned McCheese’s sanity to let a former coke hound monitor what young
children were eating, McDonald’s quickly became one of the largest chains in the world. However, his career hasn’t always been golden arches and ice cream sundaes. A domestic abuse charge filed by his wife Patty McCheese left his reputation in doubt faster than you can say ‘mad cow disease.’ During this time, several tell-all books were written about McCheese, many of them framed him as a man with a love for prostitutes larger then Elliot Spitzer. Others shone a light on his use of illegal supplements to keep him looking fresh. Also leaked were pictures that showed him engaging in other fast food chains without the use of any condiments. But McCheese was able to get out from under the heat lamp and restore his image. He passed a
bill that helped to keep (tater) toddlers in school and to make sure that all their school supplies were kept in top shape. McCheese was recently re elected for a record 8th term in office, but after running uncontested for his entire career, he faced stiff competition from Roger Noid, a Pizza Hut marketing designer. McCheese was able to win by a marginal percent after a campaign focused on how Noid could ruin McDonaldland and turn the lively town stale. Throughout his career, Mayor Ferguson McCheese has faced times both good and bad, but like a stale bun, he stayed firm in his beliefs and has proven that even having a cheeseburger for a head, can’t stop you from reaching your dreams. A vote for McCheese is a vote for freedom.