Dreaming With One Eye Open
A Memoir
Eun Sul Lee May 31, 2012 Tigard, Oregon
Written for My trusted children and their spouses Margaret & Steve and Edward & Amy and My lovely grandchildren Owen, Dahlia, and Kiana
Table of Contents List of Illustrations................................................ 4 Foreword ................................................................ 7 Prologue: The Chicken Wired House ............. 11 Part One: Roots and Childhood ..................... 17 1. The Guardian Tiger .......................... 19 2. Market Day Hero ............................. 33 3. The Three Scars ............................... 51 4. A Beast Called Independence........... 63 5. Joy Of Liberation ............................. 79 Part Two: Life During The War ..................... 97 6. One Sunday Morning ....................... 99 7. The Longest Summer ..................... 111 Part Three: Life After The War ....................... 131 8. Moving On To College .................. 133 9. The Two Guests.............................. 151 10. Dreaming Of Studying Abroad ...... 165 11. Grandmother’s Funeral .................. 179 Part Four: 12. 13. 14. 15.
Life In America ............................ 193 Discovering America .................... 195 Long Range Planning.................... 215 A Family Of Three Races .............. 233 Joy Of Teaching And Learning ..... 251
Part Five: 16. 17. 18. 19.
Life In Retrospect ....................... 271 Restoring Father’s Legacy ............ 273 Can’t Go Home Again................... 291 Last Words To Mother................... 307 Going Over The Hill ..................... 327
Postscript ........................................................... 349 Epilogue: Summing Up................................. 351 About the Author .............................................. 358
List of Illustrations 1. Family tree showing relatives on Father’s side........................ 13 2. Genealogical sketch of the Lee Clan of Junju ......................... 24 3. Births, deaths, and length of life for the past ten generations .. 27 4. My maternal great grandmother, (1866 -1942), ca. 1939 ........ 35 5. My maternal grandfather (1887-1956), ca. 1940 ..................... 38 6. Family tree showing relatives on Mother’s side ...................... 40 7. My mother holding me, ca. 1934 ............................................. 46 8. My grandmother holding me, ca. 1935 .................................... 49 9. With my brother, ca. 1938 ........................................................ 52 10. Kindergarten mothers with an American missionary lady ..... 66 11. Kindergarten picnic ................................................................ 69 12. Graduation from elementary school, 1947............................. 88 13. Military map of Kum River defense line, 14 July, 1950 ...... 107 14. With my friend, Kang on college campus, ca. 1954 ............ 146 15. Socially conscious students, ca. 1955 .................................. 149 16. With night school students, ca. 1956 ................................... 150 17. College graduation day, 28 March, 1957 ............................. 164 18. At work at Christian Children’s Fund, ca. 1960................... 174 19. Engagement photo with Rev. Kim, 25 June, 1961 ............... 177 20. Wedding picture with Rev. Miller, 16 May, 1964 ................ 209 21. Father’s prison photo, 26 April, 1930 .................................. 279
22. A sample of Father’s handwriting ........................................ 285 23. The father’s patriot’s medal of 15 August, 1993 .................. 287 24. Police assessment report on Father’s character.................... 319 25. A secret code designed by my father.................................... 322 26. Mr. Kim Bok Jin, a renowned sculptor, ca. 1939................. 325 27. The envelope of a letter sent to my grandfather in 1932 ..... 338 28. Eight characters engraved in rock on Mt. Kyeryong ........... 340 29. Kongju High School, destroyed during the Korean War ..... 343 30. Egashira Rokuroh, Principal of Kongju H.S., 1925-1930 ... 344 31. Monument commemorating my maternal grandfather ........ 348
Front cover: Garden sculpture (plywood, acrylic paints) designed by Chong and constructed by Eun Sul in 2008, commemorating the arrival of grandchildren. Shapes on each wing symbolize: new generation (chick), happiness (music note), intelligence (brain), and eternity (omega).
“Life is lived forward, but it is understood backward. My life has become more meaningful with a better understanding of my past.�
Foreword
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fter my retirement in 2005, it occurred to me that writing about my life would be a good way to share my life experience with our children and grandchildren, for I used to like to read about well known people’s lives in history books. Actually, this idea was an extension of writing about our family history for Margaret when she was gathering information about her grandfather. But I found it very difficult to start writing about my own life right away, realizing that I had forgotten about many things, and I was unable to piece together certain events I remembered. It took me five years to prepare to write. It was a helpful exercise to gather old records and photos and organize them into scrapbooks. I also read again several books on Korean history, World War II, and the Korean War. In this process, I was able to reconfigure my memories and to organize numerous stories into a frame of reference.
Passing on a Shadow Like the Chinese saying, “The man departs, there remains his shadow (人去留影),” my image of the world has been a mirror of my life, and its shadow is worth passing on to the next generation. I might not have gone where my mother wanted me to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. My life story is perhaps more complicated to write about than those of most of my American friends. My early life was framed in two major wars, World War II and the Korean War. I received my
Eun Sul Lee formal education in three different languages: Japanese (grades 1–5), Korean (grades 6–12 and college), and English (graduate study). There are some other aspects of my life that are also far different than my friends born in the United States.
Phases of My Life Tracing back, my life stories can be divided into several phases. I have lived through turbulent times since the 1930s on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. My story starts from the earliest memory of my life in the chicken wired house in the Land of Morning Calm on the other side of the Pacific Ocean (Prologue). My roots are imbedded in dynamic family history, and my childhood was spent under the Japanese colonial rule (Part One). The outbreak of the Korean War in 1950 was the first turning point of my life. The war was tragic and forever changed our family and my life (Part Two). While my life before the war reflects my personal background over which I had little control, my life after the war was largely guided by my own conscious choices about the direction of my life. My postwar life in Korea covers the last two years of high school, my college years, and four years of employment (Part Three). The second turning point of my life was the decision to come to the United States for graduate study. I intended to go back home after my graduate study, but ended up living in the States for most of my adult life (Part Four). As I aged, I had to attend to some unfinished business in Korea that restored my father’s legacy and gave me closure, satisfying my long-lasting yearning to return to Korea. Chong and I also retired to Oregon (Part Five). Finally I attempt to sum up my life (Epilogue).
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Dreaming With One Eye Open
The Trick of Memory In constructing my stories, I tried to add details as much as possible, and at the same time I made a conscious effort not to invent stories. Nevertheless, some stories might be exaggerated and some might not be included, to avoid recalling an unpleasant experience. It was helpful to recall case-based stories and to think about how each one related to other cases before writing down the stories. I also tried to tie my stories to important historical events. As a result, I was able to develop a more realistic view of history as it related to my life experience. Referencing historical dates was necessary, especially in searching my father’s records and writing about him. My memories were often vague and misplaced, and it was very helpful to conduct extensive fact checking using Google searches. I was surprised to find that many Korean reference materials are now available on Google. Unavoidably, I mention many names of relatives in my stories. To help understand their relation to my life, I have included at the beginning of the book two family trees, illustrating the lineage of both of my parents. To place my life experience in proper context, I describe some historical facts and analyze what I have learned and understand about them many years after the actual events took place. I also incorporate some old documents and photos. Additional documentation and photos can be found among the source materials contained in the scrapbooks. But the effort to illustrate my entire past turned out to be uneven. Some old family photos were lost, and some relevant photos never existed. I have never seen any photo of my grandfather. This is my life story, and I wrote it in several iterations. It is my sincere hope that my grandchildren will be curious about my life, will read with an open mind, and keep this book as a source for discovering their heritage. Life is lived forward but it is understood backward. My life has become more meaningful with a better 9
Eun Sul Lee understanding of my past. But I know that everyone does not see the world through the same eyes. My intent is to share the story that I know, and I invite my children and grandchildren to write their own stories. Finally I appreciate the skillful editing and suggestions made by Linda Hamilton of Stories to Last.
“The family registry indicated that I was formally designated as the head of our family on May 3, 1937, a month after my grandfather’s death. I was three years old. Whether I knew it or not, it was unmistakably my destiny.”
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Prologue
The Chicken Wired House A New Home
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worker carried cooking stove fixtures piled high atop an A-frame on his back, fixtures to be installed in our new house. I toddled along behind him, wondering what our new house and our new neighborhood would look like. Though it was not far from our old house where many relatives lived together, it felt a world away. When we arrived, the man got busy putting the finishing touches on the wood-burning stove in the kitchen. Two other workers were putting up a fence around the house with bamboo poles and chicken wire. My mother had told me to stay there until our move was complete, warning me not to return to our old house. I wandered around to get a better look at the place. It was a strange-looking, newly built house with a cement roof, much smaller than our old house in a much smaller lot than our old spacious lot. It had three rooms, probably big enough for the four of us, my grandmother, mother, younger brother, and me.
Eun Sul Lee I was to grow up in this chicken wired house. It was the late summer of 1938, a few months before my fourth birthday. It was three years before Japan’s surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, which would trigger the Pacific War between the United States and Imperial Japan. My family and I lived in the territory that was considered to be on the enemy side. How could I ever sense the impending chaos and irrevocable change that was coming? I was also unaware, at such a young age, of significant events that took place in our old house and led us to the chicken wired house. I have only a few episodic memories of my first home (see Figure 1 for a family tree of my father’s side): We had a water pump in the yard, and my brother often tried to climb up the pump holding a puppy. One day, my second uncle brought home a large snake on the back of his bicycle and boiled it in a medicine pot in the backyard. My first uncle once cut a rear leg of a bullfrog while shoveling a ditch in front of the house, and I had fun carrying around the frog leg, which still kicked and twitched. I also remember carrying a water bowl and walking very slowly so I wouldn’t spill it as I delivered it to my first uncle working at the far end of our backyard. On more than one occasion, I tried to wake up my aunt in the morning by tickling her nose with a chicken feather. My first uncle and his wife had a boy a little older than me. My cousin might have been ill, because he always watched me play rather than engaging with me. My second uncle’s wife often chased me out when I entered the kitchen. Once our dog wiggled under some construction materials piled up on the side of the house, and I had a hard time retrieving him. From these short, sporadic memories I sensed that I lived among many relatives.
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Dreaming With One Eye Open
A Broken Chain Moving to a new house meant that our extended family was splitting up. My grandfather had moved his family to the old house after my father died in 1936. After my grandfather’s death in the spring of 1937, we had moved there too. I was orphaned twice before I knew it. My father died 13 days before my second birthday, and my grandfather passed away five months and 16 days before my third birthday. I thank God for sparing me from the burden of remembering these tragedies in the family. Evidently, my aunt and my second uncle got married at the old house after my grandfather’s death, but I was not aware of this. I did not have the foggiest idea that I became the head of our family in my infancy. The family registry indicated that I was formally designated as the head of our family on May 3, 1937, a month after my grandfather’s death. I was three years old. Whether I knew it or not, it was unmistakably my destiny. Being the head of a family carried a special meaning in the traditional Korean culture that prevailed while I was growing up. 13
Eun Sul Lee This tradition was rooted in the Confucian value system that guided and supported extended family inclusion and ancestor worship. The old patriach sat at the top of the family hierarchy and maintained it. He was responsible for the livelihood of all family members and managed the family properties. If the father should die, then the first son became the nominal head of family. The first son was thus groomed and trained by the family to succeed his father. My father was the first son. He was supposed to succeed my grandfather, but he died before his father. The chain of succession was broken. Considering his premature death, my father did not even have a chance to obtain proper training. The situation I faced might represent a hopeless case in Confucian tradition. Perhaps my relatives and family friends expected me to grow up fast and take on the responsibilities of the patriarch. No wonder those elderly relatives who visited our family when we moved to the chicken wired house patted my head longer than I could endure, and some even shed tears while holding my hands. How had this break in the chain occured? Could the mystery of our family’s past be unraveled? Our chicken wired new house was located in a neighborhood adjacent to Kongju High School. Not long after our move, my grandmother and I were on the street in front of the school on our way to visit a family friend. My grandmother stopped at the school gate to look into the neatly landscaped yard. She proudly told me, “Your father attended this school.� I remember this scene not because of the significance of her comment, but because we stood there for a long time. I was not conscious of the absence of my father. He was not a real person I could relate to at that time. In due time, I was to find out why and how my father died at such a young age leaving two toddlers behind.
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Dreaming With One Eye Open
Conservative Kongju My hometown Kongju was a historic town. Its old name was Ungjin. It was established as the capital of the Paekche Kingdom, dating back to 475 A.D. Paekche was one of three kingdoms that existed in the center of the Korean Peninsula, with the other kingdoms to the north and south. It was represented by an ideal fortress facing the Kum River to the north and surrounded by rugged mountains on three sides. It served as a cultural and administrative center in this region throughout its history. Kongju and its surrounding region was known to be one of the most conservative areas in Korea. Many prominent landowners resided in the region for many generations. People in this area spoke slowly, reflecting stable communal living for a long period of time. Out of this serene atmosphere grew a sense of common heritage and a conservative attitude. If any social change were to take place in Korea, this region would be the last to embrace it. How could anyone who grew up here pursue a dream in a new world waiting to be born?
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Part One Roots and Childhood
“I never met my father. He was introduced to me only as a character in stories.�
Chapter One The Guardian Tiger
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history for a country or person generally begins with legends and myths. My life was also bound up with legendary tales. Many things I knew about my family were what I heard from people around me while I was growing up. They might have heard these stories from their elders. Nevertheless, the stories were important ingredients in shaping my early life. Most of our family stories came from my grandmother and mother. I grew up in an incomplete extended family of three generations only with female adults. This motivated my interest all the more in accumulating family stories, perhaps more than someone who grew up in a normal familial atmosphere. I never met my father. He was introduced to me only as a character in stories. My father was born in a remote village called Bungae (meaning lightning village) about 40 miles east of Kongju, the middle region of Korea. Steep mountains surrounded the village on three sides with the fourth side open to the winding Kum River. The village was only accessible by crossing the river twice. I was attracted to the first story I heard from my grandmother about my father because it was about a tiger. One day my great grandfather was returning home from his business in Kongju before dusk. While entering the village he spotted a tiger coming down from the hills. The beast sat down behind the
Eun Sul Lee shrubs along the entry way to the village. Then he saw that his toddler grandson (my father) was busy trapping mud-fishes in the stream parallel to the entry way, his back to the hidden tiger and unaware of any danger. To alert his grandson, Great Grandfather shouted out his grandson’s name repeatedly, “Chulha, Chulha!” He walked cautiously toward the stream. The tiger did not make any further move, and he was able to grab his grandson and take him home safely. When they got inside the house, my great grandfather told my grandmother, “Chulha has a guardian tiger that will protect him throughout his life.”
Lightning Village Lightning Village was not our family’s original homestead. Our family used to reside in a sizable village called Saetuh (meaning “renewed field”) in a valley in the southwestern outskirts of Kongju. Renewed Field probably used to contained fertile rice paddies. Our ancestors were landowning Yangban aristocrats and occupied the largest family compound in the whole valley. Several buildings on the compound had tiled roofs, and windchimes hung at all four corners. When my grandfather was eight years old in 1894, his family moved to Lightning Village to escape from a peasant uprising known in contemporary Korean history as the Donghak Revolt. The uprising started in a southern province, and as the peasants’ appeals gained momentum they marched northward. Their final battle against the government forces, aided by an invited contingent of the Japanese Army, was staged in the southern hills of Kongju. During the battle, our family compound was taken over by the rebels, and it was burned down when they retreated.
A Stored Past When I was growing up, I saw some evidence to back up this family story. In our storage, we had several items that were salvaged 20
Dreaming With One Eye Open from the ashes after the Donghak revolt. There were two large earthen jars for storing rice. The jars had cement patches covering holes in their bellies. My grandmother explained to me that the holes were punctured by Donghak warriors to check how much rice was within. We had two hand-made spears abandoned by Donghak warriors. In our kitchen, we also had two celadon bottles with partially burnt necks. These seared celadon bottles were used to store sesame oil.
Imperial Rule Since there was no other suitable residence to return to, our family continued living in Lightning Village for the next 30 years. During this period, an important historical change took place. The Japanese imperial empire annexed Korea in 1910. The Kingdom of Chosun (1392-1910) ceased to exist, and Japanese colonial government laws were imposed on the Korean Peninsula. This was not an armed invasion but a forced protectoral treaty. There might be numerous reasons for yielding sovereignty to Japanese colonial power. It was evident that most of the high officials in the King’s court and the learned elite chose personal gain, which they expected from the Japanese occupation, rather than the sacrifice necessary to defend their country. But from a long view of Korean history, it might have been inevitable. The Kingdom, after 500 years of continuous rule, was starting to decline. It failed to usher in the necessary reforms to stop colonial expansion of Western powers in the late 19th century. The monarchy was too weakened and unable to put down the Donghak peasant revolt without bringing in the Japanese army. In contrast, Japan was able to institute the necessary reforms to counter Western expansion within and around its borders. Korea made several attempts to introduce similar reform, but the conservative forces prevailed and maintained the status quo. Most of the reformers in Korea felt that the only way to save the country was to join the Japanese rather than resist Western forces alone. 21
Eun Sul Lee
Carrots and Sticks After the annexation to Japan, the Korean people gradually awakened to their circumstances, and nationalistic sentiment grew. In 1919, they staged a major uprising to declare the independence of Korea. The Japanese ruler brutally crushed the uprising, reinforced his harsh colonial policies, and tightened security measures. Japanese colonial policy contained both “carrots and sticks.” This persuaded the majority of people, especially landowners, to support colonial rule, which protected their property rights. A small number of nationalists chose self-exile in China and Russia, where they set up a provisional government, but over time, most of those 33 signatories of independence ended up taking the “carrots” too and collaborated with the Japanese. By the time I was born, the Empire of Japan fully controlled Korea and started to expand their presence into northern China using Korea as their launching pad. My life began against this historical backdrop.
Over Twenty Generations Our family history stretches far back into the dawn of Korean history. Our family had been known as the Lee (Yi) of Junju. In old days Junju was called Wansan. The genealogy of this grand clan dates back to the first century. The preamble of our genealogy indicates that a patriarch named Han, who held the high position of Sagong (modern day equivalent of interior minister) in Silla Kingdom (unified Korea after the defeat of Paekche and Koguryo), married into the royal family of Kim. At his retirement, he was given a sizable estate around Wansan. Among his 22nd generation of offspring, was the founding King of Chosun (Yi Dynasty) in 1392. The second King was Jungjong and his tenth son was Dukchun-Kun (Prince). The grand clan branched out to many sub-clans (Pa) as the clan multiplied. Our family’s Pa branched out starting with Dukchun-Kun. 22
Dreaming With One Eye Open The shrine of Dukchun-Kun is located in the northern outskirts of Kongju. The four-volume genealogy of Dukchun-Kun Pa, published in 1983, contains 167,055 entries, encompassing over 20 generations. I was born as the 18th generation offspring of Dukchun-Kun (See Figure 2).
Genealogical Data The entries in the genealogical records are arranged in vertical columns showing the generations in chronological order, tracing male linage. The information for each male consists of his name and the title of his social position, if he held one, along with the surname and family origin of his spouse. It also includes dates of birth and death and the burial sites of the man and his spouse. Daughters’ names were not entered, and instead sons-in-law’s names are shown without dates of birth and death. The possession of well-documented genealogy used to be considered a source of social status and reputation. The genealogy was updated at the clan’s conventions. Wealthy clans staged lavish conventions to show off their social status. The social value of genealogy has diminished in recent years but it still has historical value when studying family origins and the skeleton biographies of our ancestors. I studied our genealogy and learned a few fascinating things. I was interested in calculating the lifespan of our ancestors, tracing back through the last ten generations, which encompasses over 300 years. The results are shown in Figure 3. It turns out that my father’s life span was the shortest, and my mother’s life span was the longest in the last 300 years of our family history. It is worth noting that Dal Sun and his wife died in their 30s in the same year, within two and a half months of each other. This indicates that they died from an infectious disease. Myun Yoo’s wife (Lady Lim) died at age 27. Most likely she died from complications related to childbirth. 23
Eun Sul Lee
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Dreaming With One Eye Open
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Eun Sul Lee It appears that our ancestors lived relatively long lives during the 17th and 18th centuries, reflecting their wealth in an era of social stability. It is also interesting to note that our ancestors tended to choose spouses of about same age as themselves, deviating from the prevailing marriage custom in agrarian societies where young boys were arranged to marry older girls to increase domestic helping hands. This deviation from general rule might also reflect our family’s high social status at that time.
Historical Anecdotes Apart from the genealogy, I accumulated numerous stories that have helped me formulate my impressions of my ancestors. My greatgreat grandmother (Lady Yun) was the only child of a wealthy family and brought considerable inherited wealth to our family. She evidently was a lady of large stature, tall and strong. The above average stature of male members in our family might have been inherited from her. She made frequent trips to her parents’ home while her father was ill, carrying sack of exotic grains under her arms to avoid to be seen in public. It was culturally incorrect for a lady from prominent families to carry anything on her head or back. Although a servant might have accompanied her, she preferred to carry the precious gift for her father by herself. Unlike most Korean women at that time, she was highly educated as though she was a boy and learned Chinese characters and literature. She later taught her son the Chinese classic literature, deviating from the usual custom in that male dominated society. My great grandfather was a scholarly type, and his calligraphy was well admired. He wrote my father’s marriage proposal to my mother’s family, and I still have that proposal in my study in Oregon. As mentioned earlier, Great Grandfather had to move his family to Lightning Village and lived there until 1921, nearly 30 years. He taught his sons and grandsons—Chinese literature —and the village kids as well. My grandfather grew up in Lightning Village, got married there, 26
Dreaming With One Eye Open
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Eun Sul Lee and my father was born there in 1909. Even though they lived in a remote, isolated place, they were able to maintain close ties with many prominent families afar, as evidenced by my grandfather’s marriage to a lady from a prominent Hahn family in another province in 1900. The Hahn family operated a brewery in the town of Chochiwon when I was growing up.
A Tradition of Education My grandfather was more adventurous than his father and groomed himself as a businessman and politician. His handwriting was not good enough to write important correspondence, and he often called upon his younger brother’s calligraphic talent. He managed to acquire land-surveying skills and ran a wholesale earthenware and pottery business. He recognized the importance of formal education and was, unlike his father, planning to move out of Lightning Village. He wanted to move closer to Kongju to educate his sons and also needed to expand his business in a rapidly changing social and political atmosphere. Finally in 1922, when my father was thirteen, our family moved out of Lightning Village and settled in a large house across a creek from Renewed Field, the original base of our family. The new place was called Hyogae (meaning “devotee’s basin”). It was located in the northwestern outskirts of Kongju. My grandfather was able to entertain more guests and visitors at home. His popularity and reputation grew rapidly, and he was appointed a councilman for the township. Considering the prevailing social and political climate, he might have been friendly to influential Japanese in the area, successful in his communications despite his poor Japanese language skills. He was also ceremonial officer of the local Confucian Temple. My father started his formal education in 1919 at the age of ten while living in Lightning Village. He attended a newly built elementary school in the larger, neighboring village of Gongam (meaning “holey rock”). By that time, a new road was built over the 28
Dreaming With One Eye Open mountain connecting the two villages. When our family moved to Hyogae, my father transferred to Kongju elementary school as a fourth grader. Since Kongju was a major city in the area, most of his classmates were about two years younger than him. My grandfather and his younger brother tried to improve the situation for my father. At that time my father’s uncle was a newly appointed teacher at Kongju elementary school, having completed normal school in Chongju. Conveniently, my father’s uncle and his wife lived in the same household as my father’s extended family. After some intensive tutoring from his uncle, my father was able to pass an entrance examination to Kongju Secondary School a year ahead of his classmates. My father started his secondary schooling in 1923. A few years later, my father’s uncle was transferred out to another newly starting elementary school north of Kongju, and he established his own household there. My father was very close to his uncle and often visited him whenever he was having a rough time with his father.
Quarrels Between Father and Son According to my grandmother, my father often quarreled with his father and rebelled against him. Evidently, my grandfather did not approve of his son’s extracurricular activities. My grandfather tried to discourage my father from reading any books other than textbooks for the fear that the outside reading might lead his son to liberal ideas. My father did not like his father’s traditional values and his conformist tendencies. My father often criticized snobbish Japanese people in front of his father, ignoring his father’s advice to get along with the Japanese. After arguments with his father, my father often ran away to his uncle’s house and stayed there for several days. On many occasions, my grandfather dispatched a servant to fetch his son from his brother’s house. My father kept his books at his uncle’s rather than bring them home to avoid troubles with his father. 29
Eun Sul Lee The difference of opinions between my grandfather and father can be understood better in the backdrop of the changing beliefs and systems in Asia at the dawn of the 20th century, as mentioned above. My grandfather was conservative and tradition-oriented. He believed in Confucian ethics and ancestor worship. He also believed in geomancy and retained a geomancer for a long period of time in an effort to relocate ancestors’ tombs to astrologically preferable sites. My grandfather’s conservatism also prevailed in the family. He did not send his only daughter, ten years younger than my father, to school. He not only neglected his daughter but also ignored his wife’s opinions. My grandmother wanted to have her portrait taken but her wish was not fulfilled until my grandfather died. My father was fond of his younger sister and often protested to his father on her behalf. While uncertain of his father as a role model and seeking out mentors, my father was influenced by the new nationalistic movement. As his conviction grew stronger, my father challenged his father’s conservative ideas more frequently and started to play dangerous pranks in the neighborhood. According to my second uncle, my father and his younger sister often sneaked out of the house at night to post anti-Japanese slogans on signs and trees along the highway. His sister stood lookout while my father posted the slogans. Evidently, my father’s two younger brothers did not share his view and were more obedient to their father.
Arranged Marriage My parents got married in 1924 when my father was fifteen and my mother was sixteen. It was an arranged marriage but not through a professional matchmaker. Rather, it started when my maternal grandfather happened to visit my grandfather as a house guest. My maternal grandfather was an active businessman, and he occasionally traveled to the District Court located in Kongju to deal with legal disputes. 30
Dreaming With One Eye Open During one visit to Kongju sometime in 1922, a mutual friend introduced my maternal grandfather to my grandfather. During his visit, my maternal grandfather was impressed by the three handsome boys in the family and envied them, since he had only two daughters at that time. Both grandfathers liked each other and became trusted friends right away. A year later, both families approached each other through a mutual acquaintance, and a marriage was successfully arranged. The traditional arranged marriage was a strange social custom prevailed at that time. It is hard to imagine that my mother met my father for the first time on her wedding day. To honor my great grandfather’s wish to see his grandson’s wedding before his death, the wedding was expedited. They married on February 20, 1924, and my great grandfather passed away two months later. Following the prevailing customs, the wedding took place at my mother’s house in Yangchon (meaning “sunny village”), five miles south of Chongju. Because of my great grandfather’s illness leading to his death, my mother had to postpone her journey to her new home in Kongju to live with my father’s family until October of that year. Most of the stories about our family came from my grandmother or my mother. My grandmother’s stories were generally brief and spontaneous to cover many different topics. My mother’s stories were selective, but more comprehensive. My mother was fond of telling me stories about our family that she heard from her grandmotherin-law (my great grandmother). But she did not volunteer to talk about my father when I was growing up. She even refused to add any details to some stories about my father that I briefly heard from my grandmother. Despite numerous stories I heard about my father, I was unable to develop the feeling of connection to my father when I was growing up.
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