S
A Voice For The Voiceless.
tigma
ROBB NASH BRINGS
YOUTH HOPE IN THE DARKNESS
STIGMA STOMPER CREATIVE ARTS THERAPY STIGMA MAGAZINE | 1
#b4stage4 , He s ready to take off. Mental illness and addiction , shouldn t hold him back. Early intervention is the key.
A manifesto for better mental health and addiction care in British Columbia There is a clear opportunity sitting in front of all of us. If, together, we take the bold steps needed to improve mental health in our province, we can improve the lives of thousands of people across British Columbia. It is time to focus on prevention, early identification and early intervention. We currently pay for a system of care in the most expensive ways possible. People wait too long for care and too many people get their care from emergency departments and from police. We can offer proven choices and supports to help people recover—clinical services, medications, peer supports, counselling, family supports, and other therapies. And keep people connected to their families and their community. Intervening as early as possible preserves a person’s education, employment, social supports, housing—and It also costs less than the tragic revolving door of incarceration, hospitalization, and homelessness. The Canadian Mental Health Association is calling for community organizations, academic institutions, professional associations, labour organizations, elected officials and business leaders to value mental health and addiction care equally to physical health care.
GET LOUD. TAKE ACTION. b4stage4.ca
CONTENTS
S tigma
spring 2017
Stigma Magazine is one of Canada’s premier magazines addressing the
needs of the 1 in 5 people who expe-
rience a mental illness or substance
use problem in their lifetime. Stigma presents informative and inspiring articles that show readers not just how to deal with their mental health and
addiction, but how to enjoy a healthy life style. Publisher: BeYouPromise.org Creative Director: Julia Breese
Contact: info@stigmamagazine.com www.stigmamagazine.com 778-746-7799
On the cover: Robb Nash brings youth hope in the darkness. See p. 30. Published by:
5 Male Domestic Abuse: Lifting the Stigma................7 The Effects of Creative Arts Therapy........................9 Arts Therapy in Action.......................................12 Stigma Stomper..................................................17 Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism....20 A Map for Success: An Alternative to Abstinence ...25 Connecting to Help Disconnect........................28 Robb Nash’s Story............................................30 Stamping our Feet for Mental Health................36 The Interceder of Two Worlds...........................38 From the Publisher and Editor.................................
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 3
INSPIRING HOPE AND HEALTH
TAKE THE BE YOU PROMISE
WWW.BEYOUPROMISE.ORG Stigma Magazine is published by Be You Promise.Org
4 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
FROM THE PUBLISHER
H
ELLO AGAIN FROM THE ACTING PUBLISHER.
the heavily stigmatized and underrepresented male vic-
This is my second and last run under that title, as
tims of domestic violence and much, much more.
our upcoming summer issue will introduce you
I hope that these stories can inspire all of us to strength-
to our newly hired publisher, Jay McNeil. I won’t be going
en our bonds with one another. Our government and
anywhere soon, however; instead, Jay and I will be joining
neighbours have long marginalized the mental health
forces to continue growing and improving Stigma over
and recovery community in Canada, but when we unite
the next year.
and draw strength from each other, I truly believe we can
In the meantime I hope all of you enjoy this outside-the-
become too big and too powerful to ignore. Let us not
box issue of Stigma, focusing on innovative treatments,
forget or undervalue the people in these pages and the
the misunderstood and the often overlooked within our
very real contributions they can make to our continuing
already marginalized community. We have a new col-
struggle for justice, health care and equality.
umnist and articles that will take you through a day in the life of our hidden homeless, the innovative MAP programs being run by Shepherds of Good Hope in Ottawa,
Marie Engel
FROM THE EDITOR
W
HAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU were given a life-altering diagnosis or faced with an unexpected hurdle? Would you shut down, block others out and give up, or would you challenge yourself to
rise above your situation? For the brave, intelligent and resourceful people in this issue, the former was likely baring down on them, but they made a choice to be more than their illness or their struggles. They found a way to be themselves—maybe a new version of themselves, but probably a better one, too. They learned to express their pain and struggles, but then they went a step further: they took what they had discovered and used it to help others going through similar situations—whether through music (see our cover story on Robb Nash, p. 31), art (p. 9), or simply reaching out as one who’s been there (p. 28). Whether we experience a physical illness, mental illness or addiction, similar principles apply: when life gets tough, any one of us can become so much more when we share our story, give back and find ways to effect change for ourselves and those experiencing similar circumstances. What will you do?
Kate Lautens STIGMA MAGAZINE | 5
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By Cassie Hooker
I
F YOU ASK AROUND A BIT, chances are you will find
roughly 83 per cent of abuse incidents reported to the
that you know a woman who has, at some point in her
police involve female victims.
life, been the victim of abuse by her spouse or partner.
In an article put forth by the CBC, Don Dutton, a pro-
Awareness about female spousal abuse is abundant, and
fessor of psychology at UBC, insists there may be a fairly
rightly so. What’s not abundant is the awareness of male
simple reason for this discrepancy: “Men are less likely to
spousal abuse, which happens more than you might
report domestic violence to police than women are, and
think. However, men are conditioned to “suck it up,” they
police are less likely to take male complaints seriously. As
are told that admitting that they are being abused is
a result, we end up with a reporting system on the sub-
shameful, or they get somehow painted as the aggressors
ject in which men are selected out, and then government
rather than the victim.
agencies say, ‘look, it is only the women who are victims,’
All this amounts to a substantial difference between
which of course is a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
the number of female and male spousal abuse instances
To investigate why this may be so, I sought out Marcus
reported to the police in Canada. Although there is no ex-
Cheung, a social worker with the Calgary Counselling
act number, since these numbers tend to vary according
Centre, and asked him a few questions:
to which study you look at, Statistics Canada asserts that
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 7
The first step to stopping the abuse is to reach out
The Calgary Counselling Centre offers services to all types of people, covering a variety of needs. Can you give a rough indication as to what percentage of that number might consist of male spousal abuse victims? The Calgary Counselling Centre offers services to a wide range of the population, including male and females who have used or experienced violence in their relation-
Male domestic abuse victims are far less likely to report instances of abuse, or to come forward with their story. Why do you think this is? There is a stigma surrounding men who are facing abuse. It is mostly reported by women, and men can have difficulty being believed by public authorities and society in general. Asking for help can be considered a “weakness” in men, and this feeds into the social discourse that men are not able or supposed to talk about their feelings. Men are often reluctant to report abuse by their intimate partners because they feel embarrassed, or they fear they won’t be believed, or, worse, that authorities will assume that since they’re male they are the perpetrator of the violence and not the victim. All of these factors contribute to the under-reporting of abuse as experienced by males. Are there any initiatives being set forth by shelters or larger organizations to de-stigmatize male spousal abuse, and to elevate awareness of it so that it might eventually achieve the same level of recognition as female spousal abuse? Traditionally, the issue of men experiencing domestic abuse is rarely spoken about because of the ongoing belief and stigma. Since men usually do not report at the same level as their female counterparts, there is not much awareness about what the numbers actually are and how they present. In fact, much of the work around domestic violence against men is still in its infancy and little is known about the experience of this population. In order to de-stigmatize and generate more awareness on the issue of domestic violence towards men, the Male Domestic Abuse Outreach Program at the Calgary Counselling Centre has been delivering presentations to help educate and inform the police, shelters, hospitals and other stakeholders in social services on male victimization. We work with other service providers in the community to ensure these males can access the services they need and gain support to change their lives for the better. 8 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
ship. In 2016, the Calgary Counselling Centre saw 78 male and 113 female victims of domestic violence. However, the actual rate of domestic violence remains unknown, since it is something that has always been under-reported. As a greater society, how would you like to see Canadians—especially those caught in, or emerging from, an abusive relationship—move forward toward acceptance and healing? The first step to stopping the abuse is to reach out. Talk to a friend, family member or someone else you trust, or call a domestic violence helpline. Admitting the problem does not mean that you have failed as a man. If anything, that is an indication of courage, and sharing details of your abuse can be a critical step in validating your right to living abuse free. As for the public in general, we should approach the issue with compassion and an open mind. For example, it might be helpful for us to model caring behaviour to our young men and boys, and open up spaces for them to be vulnerable. We need to create safe spaces for these men and boys to talk about their feelings and emotions before they get into places where they can get hurt. We should also check our biases and our judgement, and be open to the fact that men may need to reach out and find resources; when they do, we should listen and support them and help them to find a way to be in a healthy relationship.
If you are in the Calgary area and have been the victim of spousal abuse, please contact the Calgary Counselling Centre at 403-691-5991 or visit calgarycounselling.com. If you live elsewhere in Canada and need support or information regarding spousal abuse, please call the Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime at 1-877-232-2610 or visit www.crcvc.ca.
THE EFFECTS OF CREATIVE ARTS THERAPY By Kerry Martens
D
EALING WITH THE EFFECTS OF ADDICTION has
(Brian Way; Development through Drama). The arts can-
been part of my world for close to 20 years. I find
not be learned through occasional or random exposure
the brain of a using addict or alcoholic does not
any more than math or science can. Consistent exposure
function the same as someone that might be considered
and engagement are essential for learning and teach us
“normal.” I work heavily in the fine arts at the Fresh Start
how to develop relationships in society.
Recovery Centre in Calgary, Alberta, and my research has
I’ve taken time in my career to be well-rounded with
proven the arts to be an integral part of the development
rough edges (of course) in regards to all fine arts. A dra-
of each human being and to our society. Those who have
ma major, I’ve taught dance, but I have also taken the
studied learning processes throughout the ages, begin-
DrumBeat Program (recovery-based djembe drums) to
ning with Plato, have emphasized the importance of the
assist others with their wellness to battle addiction. At
arts in the personal and brain development process. For
Fresh Start, each drumming class, held in the mornings,
example, drama helps develop concentration, the senses,
is dedicated to a specific topic such as relationships, iden-
imagination, physical self, speech, emotion and intellect
tity and community—to name just a few. The therapeutic
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 9
drumming class lasts 10 weeks, and the concepts aid the group with music techniques to calm and assess situations when feelings are heightened. Music therapy can be as simple as playing a song or introducing an instrument, like the African djembe drum, into a session. Studies have demonstrated the calming, focusing and healing effects of drumming on Alzheimer’s patients, autistic children, emotionally disturbed teens, recovering addicts, trauma patients, and prison and homeless populations. Study results demonstrate that drumming is a valuable treatment for stress, fatigue, anxiety, hypertension, chronic pain, mental illness, emotional disorders and a wide range of physical disabilities.
THE BENEFITS OF MUSIC One of the most natural responses to feeling sad, or being caught up in a case of the blues, is to turn on some music and let the beauty wash away those feelings. For those who suffer from depression, it’s never as simple as being a little sad or bluesy (which happens often with recovering addicts). Depression can affect all aspects of life, and for those facing the disorder, treatments can vary in effectiveness. Music, however, is a favoured way to help ease the issues that depression creates, especially in a clinical or therapeutic setting. The beats reach into the brain and help regulate natural rhythmic cycles that can be interrupted in a patient with depression. Listening to music can also promote relaxation, comfort or motivation. Music brings people solace and feelings of being understood, which help those battling negative thoughts, so they feel less alone in the struggle. Playing music also boosts the immune system and brings forth feelings of wellbeing, a release of emotional trauma and a reintegration of self. In general, the arts develop neural systems that produce a broad spectrum of benefits, ranging from fine motor
Cityscape with Community Partners
skills to creativity and improved emotional balance. In a study conducted by Judith Burton, Columbia University, research evidenced that subjects such as mathematics, science and language require complex cognitive and creative capacities “typical of arts learning” (Burton, Horowitz, & Abeles, 1999). In Arts with the Brain in Mind, Eric Jensen says “The arts enhance the process of learning. The systems they nourish, which include our integrated sensory, attention, cognitive, emotional, and motor capacities, are, in fact, the driving forces behind all other learning” (Jensen, 2001).
Group Performance at Ronald McDonald House
RECOVERY THROUGH ART The truth is, once we get past the stigma of what a using addict/alcoholic looks and acts like, then we can truly start to see how we can be part of the solution. For many years, studies have shown how to help addicts recover through programming, while very little research has examined the effect of fine art therapy with recovering persons. While in my role as a classroom teacher in Alberta, I realized that my efforts were not focused in the right
Mask Work, Part of Step 2 Outcome of Trust 10 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
area. I was ready to take a different approach, to come to a better understanding of the process of assisting others in a unique way. Being part of the community and developing a better program is what we do at Fresh Start Recovery Centre. While managing a creative arts program, we work hard to bring forth new research about recovering addicts, right from the centre—where the miracles happen. From what I am learning, the clients are smiling and laughing by the end of day. This compels me to research these positive feelings. To see a client, in their first week of group, go in not knowing their group members at all but create a bond after one day shows me that the Creative Arts Program at Fresh Start Recovery Centre is making a difference. If my work affects just one person, then that is the one person whom I have reached. The impact is rewarding; it is crucial to the program of recovery.
Be You Promise.Org ‘s focus is to educate and increase awareness about the risks and harms associated with substance use and promote safe and healthy living. Through education and outreach Be You works to encourage youth to “Be the Best You Possible”.
So, is the study of fine arts important in a recovery setting? I think so: I base my life on learning more, as the arts engage many areas of the brain and have far-reaching effects on the learner’s mind (Jensen, 2001). They promote social skills that enhance the awareness and respect of others. They enhance perceptual and cognitive skills. The arts have the capacity to engage everyone.
Stigma magazine put out an open call for people in recovery who have been using art as part of their healing process. Check out the following pages to
The Be You Promise Scholarship Program has been designed to support hardworking students graduating from high school in the South Vancouver Island area to further their education at a postsecondary institution. Ten $1,000 scholarships will be awarded.
see some of the top submissions.
For further information send an email to info@beyoupromise.org or visit www.beyoupromise.org/ scholarship
WHERE WILL YOUR CHOICES TAKE YOU? Be You Promise.Org | Suite 703 -1803 Douglas St. Victoria, BC E info@beyoupromise.org | P 778.746.7799 | TF 866.238.3077
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 11
AUTHOR & MODEL: MACKENZIE KESSLER 5 YEARS SOBER 1.1.12 OUR PASTS, BACK TO AS A TEAM, WE DUG DEEP INTO ADDICTION. WE THOUGHT WHEN WE WERE IN ACTIVE R OF EMOTIONS THAT ABOUT THE ROLLERCOASTE LT, SHAME, SADNESS, COMES WITH ADDICTION. GUI HELMING NEED FOR MORE. LONELINESS, AND THE OVERW G ADDICTS, WE WANTED TO AS ARTISTS AND RECOVERIN SUFFERING OF INDIVIDUALS BRING AWARENESS TO THE A PHOTOGRAPHER GIVES ME IN ACTIVE ADDICTION. BEING OWANCE TO PULL FROM THE OPPORTUNITY AND ALL MEMORIES. THE SERIES OF DIFFERENT EMOTIONS AND BLOG SHOWS THE PROMISED IMAGES THROUGHOUT THE RT WITH THE DRUNKEN CYCLE OF ADDICTION. WE STA ME AND GUILT, THEN DROWN HAPPINESS, FLOW INTO SHA FOR THOSE OF US WHO IN THE ARMS OF ADDICTION. E AND LEAD BEAUTIFUL, SURVIVE, WE MAKE IT OUT ALIV ABUNDANT, SOBER LIVES.
H PHOTOGRAPHY THIS IS ADDICTION THROUG OG.WORDPRESS.COM DANCINGDRAGONFLYDOTBL
12 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 13
A D R IF T
IN A SE A of
M&M s
BEFORE I STARTED WRITING
by Marc el
Poet’ ‘Fab le the Pr ic e
FOR A LIVING, PRIOR TO INSP IRATION BEING PLANTED BY POETS WO RKING WITH THE YOUTH, THE RE WAS A YOUNG BOY WITHOUT AN OUTLET— STRUGGLING TO FIND BALANCE. IN MY EARLY TEENS I WAS DIA GNOSED WITH BIPOLAR DISO RDER, DEPRESSION, AND ANXIETY . MY HOME LIFE WAS FERTILI ZED WITH LAYERS OF ABUSE AND TRA UMA. POETRY BECAME MY OUTLET , MY LIFE PRESERVER, THE ONL Y BUOY IN EYESIGHT AS I WAS STRUGG LING TO KEEP MY HEAD ABO VE WATER. I NOW TRAVEL TO SCHOOLS, COLLEGES, AND VENUES ACR OSS THE COUNTRY, LIVING TO SHOW INDIVIDUALS THAT WE ARE MORE THAN A DIAGNOSIS, AND THAT WE CAN CHANGE OUR STARS.
[DONT MIND ME] I’M SORRY,
“THIS ONE
THE “BIPOLAR”. I GUESS THAT WAS MEMORIES LIKE OM MY CHILDHOOD WHEN I CAN GO FR CARTOONS – SATURDAY MORNING Y I LOVE UNDERSTANDING WH
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PIZZA, AND TURTLES. HURDLES NDING WHY LIFE’S TO NOT UNDERSTA RLIN WALLS, SEEM TO MATCH BE L COMMERCIALS. TO PHARMACEUTICA AS I’VE CRUMBLED TOMS ES OVER THE SYMP BECAUSE THE JINGL NER BELL WITHIN. MATCHED THE DIN
IS AN EXCERPT: RE PLEASE NOTE THIS
14 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
AD MORE AT WWW.
STIGMAMAGAZINE
.COM
TIME, R THE LONGEST ILLNESS AND FO AL NT ME ITH W “I STRUGGLED IT. I DECIDED TO UNDERSTAND TO GET OTHERS W HO OW NOT KN ’T I DIDN CREATE ART THAT DEO AND FILM TO VI R FO N IO SS TO USE MY PA ILLNESS GOES G WITH MENTAL T ONE STRUGGLIN HA W S T OW SH ONLY THIS IMPORTAN S AWARENESS ON AD RE SP SO AL T RS KNOW THROUGH, BU , AND LETS OTHE END THE STIGMA S LP HE D AN T CAN SUBJEC UGH MY VIDEOS PE MY ART THRO HO I E. ON AL R YOU’RE NEVE HELP PEOPLE.” REACH OUT AND RAPHER FROM ER AND VIDEOG A PHOTOGRAPH LISA TOPPARI IS T THAT TO DEVELOP AR E WORKS HARD SH . DA NA CA ECTS O, ONTARI INSPIRING SUBJ OTHERS ABOUT D AN F EL RS HE SPEAKS BOTH TO EMPHASIZE N. LISA TRIES TO A CONVERSATIO UP K AR SP G ILL THAT W ES BY CAPTURIN E IN OUR DAILY LIV SE E W T HA W CURRENTLY THE BEAUTY OF INTO ART. LISA IS TURNING THEM D AN S NT ME MO THOSE COLLEGE. PHY AT DURHAM AND PHOTOGRA STUDYING VIDEO PHOTO IS A STILL FROM LISA TOPPARI’S “NOT JUST A PHA SE,” A FILM THAT AIMS TO COMBAT MISCONCEP TIONS ABOUT LIVING WITH DEP RESSION .
IDENTITY IS A FRAG TRANSIENT. IT IS A
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A MUNDANE DIMENSIO NS OF EGOIC WISH-FULFI LLMENT DISSOLVE AS INSTANTANEOUS LY AND SIMULTANEOUSLY AS THEY STRIVE TO ARTICULATE THE DIS TANCE BETWEEN REAL AN D IDEAL VISIONS. TH E ASPIRANT BEHOLD S ITS OWN GOLDEN HALO OF HU BRIS, JUST AS A NE W BECOMING ARRIV ES TO DISSOLVE THE SATIS FACTION. THE ACHIE VEMENT OF SELF-KN OWLEDGE IS A STREAM OF BECOMINGS, A KA LEIDOSCOPE OF DE SIRE DISPLACED BY TIM E. THE ENCOUNTER BETWEEN THE CONC RETE AND THE ABSTRACT IS BO TH IMAGINARY AND REAL—PSYCHIC MA PS OF DESIRE BECOME TH E TRAJECTORIES TH ROUGH WHICH WE NE GOTIATE SPACE AND TIME. TRAGICALLY BRIEF
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THE ARCHER MUST
AIM AND SHOOT WI SELY: THE ARROW OF AMBITION ARRIVES AND CREA TES MEANING JUST AS THE TARGET BE COMES THE DESTINATION OF EP HEMERAL TRUTH. TH E ASPIRANT AND AC HIEVER MELD TO SIMULTANE OUSLY COMPREHE ND THE LARGER EX PERIENCE FROM WHICH THE STREAM OF WISHING EMANATES. THE ZO DIACAL MYTHOS REACHES ITS ZENITH AS THE QUEST FOR WISDOM MANIFESTS IN WORLDLY SUCC ESS.
PLEASE NOTE THIS IS AN EXCERPT: READ MORE AT WWW.S
TIGMAMAGAZINE.COM
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 15
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STIGMA E P O H S Y A W L A IS E R THE S HELP Y A W L A IS E R E H T D AN By Andrea Paquette AKA the Bipolar Babe
I
FELT A SHARP PAIN IN MY heart at the age of 25 when the doctor uttered the words, “You have bipolar disorder.� Disturbing thoughts flooded my mind with memories of mother’s endless hospitaliza-
tions, mental breakdowns and the horror of a mental illness that nearly claimed her life. My brain automatically went to that place, the place that told me that I was doomed to a similar fate. My bipolar journey has been extremely challenging and there is not one day that passes where I am not reminded that I have a mental illness. However, my life has become extremely manageable over the years and longterm stability is a gift that I deeply appreciate and cherish. My mother resisted any type of mental health treatment for most of her adult life, but continuous blame for her condition from others certainly did not help the situation. Her mental illness eventually became medication resistant, and it is a possibility that it may have always been. My mother drowned in a type of self-stigma that significantly influenced her refusal to take pharmaceutical medications on a long-term basis. There is a common nagging lie that convinces many people living with mental illness that they are somehow at fault for having to rely on medications to stay well. Mental illness is not a visible condition, and there is a rampant falsehood that mental disorders can be managed with strength and perseverance.
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 17
My mother eventually complied with a medication re-
self-esteem. I suffered from intense visual disturbances
gime, but she still suffered ongoing mental breakdowns
and overpowering spells of paranoia that altered my state
over the years. Her condition became so severe that my
of reality. I now consider that these experiences may have
stepfather made a heart-wrenching decision to approve
also been partially due to having suffered a major mental
the administration of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
health breakdown. I stopped my medication regime cold
Many assert the use of ECT is barbaric, but for my mother,
turkey during the early months of my diagnosis, which
it was the catalyst that saved her from a year-long cation-
led to an incapacitating depression that made a simple
ic state. Her mental capacity heightened with the bene-
trip to the grocery store seem the equivalent of climbing
fits of ECT, and she soon became a woman who had the
a colossal mountain range.
ability to have a conversation, laugh and express herself
In my most desperate moment, I attempted to write a
once again. My mother is not the same person that I knew
letter explaining my reasoning for wanting to end my life,
growing up, as her personality has changed, most likely
but I could not form one single coherent sentence on the
because of ECT and the countless mental breakdowns
page. I was soon hospitalized for a suicide attempt that
that she has endured over her lifetime. Our family does
landed me in the intensive care unit for three days, and
not mourn the changes in my mother’s mental capacity,
eventually, the psych ward became my home for over a
but instead, we remain immensely grateful to have her
month.
with us today.
Instead of continuing to resist medication, I eventually
I personally resisted psychiatric medication because
entrusted my mental health to a knowledgeable and car-
of its dreaded side-effects, which included gaining 30
ing psychiatrist. I realized that mental illness is not some-
pounds in a three-month period and battling uncontrol-
thing that I am able to manage on my own. I wish that I
lable cystic acne that only lowered my already deflated
had this valuable insight sooner. Over the years, I have acquired numerous self-management strategies that have immensely contributed to my recovery. I consistently adhere to a prescribed daily cocktail of pills; it took 11 years of trialling various psychiatric medications for my bipolar disorder to go into a type of remission. I still experience my higher and lower moods, but I now have the pleasure of being in the stable realm most of the time. I am aware and take action when I notice a need for more quality sleep and I remain mindful about the importance of overall physical health. I have had the pleasure of working with a psychiatric nurse to garner the power of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and I have learned to strategically alter negative thought patterns that once kept me constrained to old ways of being. I have also included dialectic behavioural therapy (DBT) in my mental health toolkit and benefit from the practice of mindfulness, once again, effectively changing
Take the Stigma-Free Pledge Today!
thought patterns that do not serve my mental wellbeing.
Learn about stigma, understand its impact and be accepting of yourselves and others.
truly the acceptance of our challenges that allows us to
WWW.STIGMAFREEZONE.COM 18 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
It is never easy to admit having a mental illness, especially when someone may need help for it; however, it is move toward a hope for peace and stability. Our greatest strength lies in our ability to reach out, and there is undoubtedly always help, and there is always hope.
S
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BONDAGE, DOMINANCE, SADISM and MASOCHISM Pushing Your Personal Boundaries
By Cassie Hooker
B
DSM IS ABOUT WHIPS AND HANDCUFFS, ISN’T IT? It’s about getting your jollies, sexually, by dominating others or allowing yourself to be dominated, right?
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in social, sexual and personal expression, BDSM—bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism—has a stigma that paints it as taboo and even abusive. According to the mainstream perception, BDSM is entirely sexual in nature, it’s abusive, and it only appeals to psychological deviants. So, it could hardly be considered a useful and positive means of self-exploration, much less self-healing, right? Admit it: BDSM is not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of alternative forms of self-improvement or therapy. It may not even be the last thing that comes to mind when you think of these things. In fact, it may not even register on that list at all. That’s probably because you, like millions of others, have a certain idea of what BDSM actually is.
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• A practice done only by people with unhealthy minds In reality, it’s more like this: • Sexual or non-sexual, depending on the participants’ needs • About trust, communication and self-exploration • Safe: Any play is conducted with the safety of all parties in mind • Sane: All parties must be sober or drug-free and in full possession of their faculties • Consensual: All activities are agreed upon before play commences, and each person’s limits are decided—BDSM is always consensual, abuse is not • Something that should be de-stigmatized, so that its participants can feel more at ease with themselves and their needs Michael Castleman, M.A., is a San Francisco–based journalist who has written about sex and sexuality for over 36 years. “The myth is that it’s abusive,” he says. “Actually, it’s about trust and communication.” While it often does include sexual gratification, this is not always the case. In fact, the two can be separated completely. In a nutshell, BDSM focuses on roleplay, whether sexual or not, that revolves around the application of dominance, submission, bondage and other forms of power-exchange. Sometimes it involves the consensual giving or receiving of pain. Sometimes it involves giving control of yourself to another. Most of the time, it involves stretching your personal boundaries, and opening your mind to new experiences, what-
hep c • aids • hiv • prevention • testing • treatment
ever that may entail. The key is that any act that takes place in the context of BDSM is done safely, sanely and consensually, with proper communication between all parties involved.
22 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
In 2013, a study by Dr. Andreas Anne Johannes Wismeijer
ically. Also, having a Sub that suits me well gives me the
was conducted to explore the psychology of BDSM practi-
feeling that I have someone that totally and utterly de-
tioners. In this study, 902 practitioners and 434 non-prac-
pends on me, who is giving me the privilege of protect-
titioners were given detailed questionnaires; the results of
ing her,” says Greyhawk, a long-time member of Victoria’s
these questionnaires were then compared against the Big
BDSM community. “That feeling of having someone that
Five personality dimensions (extraversion, agreeableness,
has put their trust in me is much like being back in the
conscientiousness, emotional stability and intellect), and
military, where people’s lives depended on my actions.
considered attachment styles, rejection sensitivity and
When I am in my Dom headspace, all my actions have an
subjective wellbeing. The BDSM practitioners were also
impact on myself and my Sub; therefore, I have to keep
separated into three groups: Doms (meaning they like to
my head straight and push things that might otherwise
be dominant), Subs (meaning they like to be submissive),
trigger me out of my mind.”
and Switches (meaning they go back and forth between being a Dom or a Sub).
The thing about BDSM is that it encourages participants to learn about themselves. It encourages them to accept
According to Dr. Wismeijer, “The results mostly suggest
what they need to feel fulfilled, and even love it. It encour-
favourable psychological characteristics of BDSM practi-
ages openness, honesty, communication (with yourself
tioners compared with the control group; BDSM practi-
and your partner) and even self-confidence; because other
tioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open
practitioners are excited to interact with you, it has a way
to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection
of boosting your self-esteem. It encourages its participants
sensitive [and] had higher subjective well-being.” This is a
to gain or even regain their sense of identity. It is because
far cry from the common idea that practitioners of BDSM
of this that many people who have endured abuse, or any
are maladjusted or otherwise mentally unwell. Since peo-
trauma, seek out BDSM. Whether you choose to be a Dom,
ple who are more extroverted and less neurotic tend to
a Sub or a Switch, the practice of BDSM can put you on
be happier overall, it comes as no surprise that those with
the path to healing.
these traits are also more secure and have a higher sense of well-being.
If you are interested in learning more about BDSM,
If BDSM practitioners are more psychologically bal-
please visit https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-
anced, as Wismeijer seems to be suggesting, is it possi-
about-sex/201206/loving-introduction-bdsm and http://
ble that practising it could be positive, even therapeutic?
www.whatisbdsm.com.
The answer to that question is “yes.” Granted, it is not a recognized form of therapy; that is to say, you probably won’t find any licensed therapists who have the practice of BDSM in their bag of tricks. Even today, it still carries a certain social stigma, but the growing popularity of books and movies featuring a BDSM theme may indicate that it is slowly gaining a foothold in mainstream society. “For me, BDSM helps
with
my
PTSD by giving me a release phys-
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 23
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AMANAGED MAPALCOHOL FORPROGRAM SUCCESS OFFERS AN ALTERNATIVE TO ABSTINENCE
By Marie Engel
F
OR ABOUT 15 YEARS, DOCTORS, NURSES and so-
first thing in the morning, he would never stick around to
cial workers have been quietly running an innova-
get it and no one could connect with him. Our director at
tive harm reduction initiative out of the Shepherds
that time brought in a bottle of wine and gave him the
of Good Hope shelter in downtown Ottawa. The Managed
wine, so he stuck around inside and he could actually get
Alcohol Program, or MAP, implemented here isn’t the first
his medication. From there they started looking into how
or newest initiative of its kind, but the current overdose
an operation like that would work. There was actually
epidemic has piqued public interest in the organization
one in Toronto at the time that was already open, so they
and put them suddenly on the public’s radar, for better
started connecting with the people there and developing
or for worse.
what that would look like for us here in Ottawa.
Stigma spoke with Holly Whidden, MAP program man-
A lot of people in the media that we’ve talked to say
ager, to shed some light on the organization and the ef-
that it’s a controversial program, but we like to describe
fect it has on those enrolled.
it as more innovative. We don’t think it’s controversial— we’ve identified an issue that isn’t being resolved by tradi-
How did the MAP come into being at the Shepherds of
tional methods, so the most negative feedback we get is
Good Hope shelter?
from people who are involved in more traditional or wide-
There was a client that was an alcoholic in one of our re-
ly accepted methods of abstinence-based recovery; the
covery programs. This client needed a certain medication
negative feedback is either from lack of understanding
but because he was so driven to go out and get alcohol
about what the program does or the way that it helps.
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 25
How many clients do you have now? We have two separate locations for our MAP. In our downtown shelter location, we just expanded from 12 to 24 beds. But we also have a supported housing program and they have
them have family that is in similar situations or family who backed out and hasn’t been supportive for a while. It gives them the chance to spend time together and build new bonding relationships. Ottawa has a larger Inuit population, so the
about 50 beds there—that’s the Oaks. It’s
fact that we have a few people in the
a residential program. We like to think
program who are of the same cultural
about the MAP as a graduated program;
background and they can share cultural
the downtown location is where we’ll
things with the rest of the clients—and
identify clients who have the need for the
everybody is really interested in learning
MAP, and from there we’ll stabilize them. The goal is for them to move out to the Oaks for more long-term housing.
it—I think that’s been really beneficial for them. We also have a Christmas party and it’s always very well attended. They can bring friends and family members—it’s really good to see them
Could you describe what a typical day looks like in a
all together in this very traditional-looking family gather-
MAP program?
ing environment.
They get 14 “pours” throughout the day. The first starts at 7:30 in the morning, and it’s 7 oz of our house-brewed
Is the goal of the Managed Alcohol Program to eventu-
wine. From there, every hour on the half hour, each per-
ally get people into a long-term recovery situation?
son gets 5 oz of wine, but that is assessed throughout the
The goal for everyone is different. The purpose of the
day so if people are, say, coming up just past lunch and
program is to get people at a stable level so they can start
showing that they’re a little bit intoxicated, they might be
to work towards other things that are important in their
asked to sit out for one of the pours and then they can be
life. We like to bring them in and identify what their goals
reassessed for the next one. Or they can also be offered
are. As soon as you take away the need for someone to
what’s called a special, which is 2.5 oz of wine mixed with
go outside and find where they’re going to get money
water and diluted a little bit. This goes on throughout the
or where they’re going to get alcohol for their first drink,
day and the last pour is at 9:30.
that’s able to help you focus on their medical needs or
In between drinks people hang out; there’s a very big community feeling within the program. The MAP down-
their mental health or connecting with family, seeing what type of housing they want to get.
town is a pretty tight-knit group. Everybody hangs out
The goal for most of our clients is to have them graduate
together in their common spaces—they watch TV, there’s
from the shelter to the Oaks. We do have some people
games, there’s some videogames, there’s some musical
that end up going out into their own independent hous-
instruments, they have art, they play board games—crib
ing and that’s fine; we do have people that eventually do
is really popular. The Oaks is also very community-based:
want to decrease the amount that they’re drinking, and
they have a pool table and a piano, and they go on day-
we’ve had people who have stopped drinking altogeth-
trips. Sometimes we’ll go out to visit them at the Oaks
er. The more immediate goal is to get people stabilized
or they’ll come down here. They’re actually going on an
on drinking the wine that’s in the program or drinking a
ice-fishing trip in February. We try to bring up lots of ac-
structured amount of alcohol throughout the day.
tivities to keep people busy and inside.
Is therapy a part of the MAP? How important is that sense of community for your clients?
We have referrals to any type of counselling that the clients might need. We have a partnership with Ottawa
It’s definitely one of the most important things. A lot
Inner City Health—they’re a team of nurses, and both the
of the people are disenfranchised from family. A lot of
Oaks and us have a registered nurse that stays in the pro-
26 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
gram on a daily basis as well as a mental health nurse
enough to be able to address these issues, whereas if
that comes in to see them. If they want any additional
they weren’t, they’d probably be outside, more concerned
counselling or anything else, we can make the referrals
about getting alcohol than what doctor’s appointment
through the nurses, but we don’t have a lot of in-house
they have that day.
therapy.
What does a success story look like for a client? Long-term alcohol consumption, particularly at the lev-
Success is different for everyone. Sometimes it can be
els you’re describing, obviously has health effects. How
just a matter of getting stabilized and in the routine of
do you address those for you clients?
the MAP and not drinking outside. Sometimes it’s getting
When we bring people into the program, their health
off the non-consumables that they’re drinking. Or it can
gets a lot more stabilized from when they’re drinking out-
be that now that they’re on the routine and not worry-
side. A lot of people who we’re bringing in for the first
ing about their next drink, they can make other chang-
time are really in the midst of their addiction. Sometimes
es in their life, like get a health card and their other IDs
they’re drinking non-consumable alcohols like rubbing
back or get in touch with family. But we’ve had people
alcohol or mouthwash, so bringing them in to stabilize
that have stabilized in the program and have moved out
on the wine actually decreases a lot of health problems.
into their own independent housing. And we have peo-
But, obviously, because of the length of time that they
ple that have moved on to the Oaks and have decided to
will or have been drinking, there are long-term effects.
slow down the amount that they’re drinking, and then a
The nurses regularly do bloodwork and there are client
couple people stopped altogether. It can look different
care workers all day as well to take their vitals and moni-
for everybody. And sometimes people come into the pro-
tor their medications. If there are mental health concerns,
gram a few times before they really get committed to it,
they can talk with them. The nurse works with their doctor
so it can be the fifth time and they’ve been in the pro-
above them and we try to monitor them as much as we
gram for five months now and they’re doing great. That’s
can. The fact that they’re in the MAP and they’re letting
a success story for us.
us help them manage their alcohol keeps them around
S
This interview has been condensed and edited.
Stigma Magazine is planning a Recovery Day Vancouver Island event for September 2017 If you are interested in attending the event contact us via email at info@stigmamagazine or call 778-746-7799
tigma Stigma Magazine | A Voice for the Voiceless | www.stigmamagazine.com STIGMA MAGAZINE | 27
CONNECTING TO HELP DISCONNECT By Marie Engel
I
N OUR LAST ISSUE, STIGMA spoke to Eric Bourgault about his personal history struggling with a virtually unknown problem here in Canada: internet addiction. Throughout his early life, Bourgault suffered physical, emotional and spiritual damage from his overpowering addiction to the screen, and his story is littered with examples of these problems being overlooked or dismissed by doctors who don’t treat or even acknowledge internet addiction as a real and serious health risk. After a long process involving biking across multiple countries, working on organic farms, studying under holistic wellness teachers and spending years completely disconnected from the digital world, Bourgault now considers himself to be in successful recovery from his addiction. He sat down with us again to outline what recovery looks like
28 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
for people with internet addictions and the simple steps we can all take to address compulsive technology use in our lives. Recovery can be difficult to define for internet addicts. Many of the typical expectations of abstinence that apply to chemical addictions, for example, are simply impossible for internet addicts living in a digital world. “To me, moderation is the key,” Bourgault says. “To create a space, a tech-free space—this is how I was able to create this recovery. For me it means there’s no WiFi, no data plan on my phone. That allows me to respect my sobriety.” This means that when Bourgault needs WiFi, he must leave his home and access it in a public space where it is available. He also has no television in his home. “When you’re at home and you don’t have any WiFi, you create
something else, you work with what’s available around you,” he explains. “This technology is used as a tool, so it doesn’t use me; I can use it for what it’s supposed to be [used for] and when I want to shut it down, I can shut it down.” The tech-free space is one of the defining elements of Bourgault’s sobriety, but there are many pieces of advice he offers for others looking to “disconnect to reconnect” in their lives: • Set boundaries around screen time and stick to them. • Be aware of how much time you are spending online or in front of a screen. • Find someone to be accountable to if needed. • Identify what you want from your life and set goals that take you away from the screen and towards your goal. “For me it was more about being in places where I would not be exposed to the temptations,” Bourgault recalls. “In other words, to be in places where I was off the grid. You don’t have to worry much, because there’s no connection whatsoever. Now, I’m not saying that people need to do that, but in my case that’s what I did, especially since back in the day there were no services available. There was not even an understanding of this phenomenon as we know it today.” Many people, and Bourgault included, have suffered real physical side effects from excessive and compulsive internet addiction. Bourgault suffered headaches, depression, urinary tract infections, prostate issues and myopia, among others. However, when he went to the doctor, not only were these issues undertreated, they were not even identified as being related to his addictive internet use. As a part of a program he’s developing to help people disconnect and recover, Bourgault offers advice on how people can begin to recover from, or even avoid altogether, the damage internet addiction can do to your body:
Fostering support for others
There are still no programs, services or organizations in Canada to address the problem of internet addiction, so Bourgault is developing his own system to help people take back their lives from internet and technology addiction. His program follows many of the characteristics of harm reduction programs, most noticeably the philosophy that you should meet people where they’re at and work towards helping them achieve goals that they have set for themselves. “It took me almost 10 years to create something, Digitox, which is a business where I act as a digital detox consultant and wellness coach,” he explains, “where I use all the background and things I have developed for myself for those who are ready to take a good look at their screen excess time.” “I am not a doctor or a therapist,” Bourgault is quick to say, “but I would approach a person coming to me as an active listener with lots of empathy, because I’ve been there. What I want to know is: what do they expect from this time online, and does it match what they’re looking for? Based on that I’m going to provide them some suggestions, and we’ll go step by step.” If Bourgault’s story, his symptoms and the lack of treatment and compassion he has encountered sound familiar to you or one of your loved ones, then you are not alone. Canada is behind the curve when it comes to addressing the reality of internet addiction and we can’t maintain this ignorance for much longer without a heavy cost to our friends and neighbours. If you would like to learn more and get involved, at a personal or professional level, with Bourgault and his work with Digitox you can go to his website at www.digitox.ca for more information.
• Set a timer for one hour before you go to sleep and disconnect to address sleep disorders caused by internet use. • Set a timer and get up to stretch for five minutes every hour to address physical pain and posture issues. • Make sure you are taking breaks to rest your eyes and avoid myopia.
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 29
30 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
G N I COM B A C K TO
LIFE
ROBB NASH’S STORY BRINGS YOUTH HOPE IN THE DARKNESS
By Marie Engel
“When I was 17, I was in a car accident. Found dead
fortunately prevalent in our society. Nash is not unique
on arrival, no pulse, not breathing. My parents got
because something bad happened to him, or because he
that call. But, as you can tell, I came back to life,
suffered, or even because he came through the suffering
they got me to the hospital, rebuilt my skull with
and healed. It isn’t what was taken from Nash that makes
metal, and my chest and shoulder. They never
him a remarkable person, but rather what he has given
thought I would wake up from my coma, but I
after experiencing his own tragedy.
did. When I woke up I didn’t know who I was,
For the last six years, Nash has been travelling back and
who my parents were, and sometimes when
forth across Canada giving free presentations to schools
people tell my story they talk about me like
about his story, and the stories of hundreds of young Ca-
I was enlightened, like I woke up wanting
nadians who have come up to him to hand them their
to change the world. But it wasn’t like that
suicide notes, the razors they use to self-harm and other
at all. I went through a really, really dark
meaningful mementos—symbols of his impact and their
time.”
new resolutions for self-care.
My conversation with Robb Nash
“Not a lot of people die and come back to life,” he says.
could be said, perhaps, to have start-
“I realized that I wanted to do something that matters
ed off on a dark note. The story of
this time.”
a tall, athletic high school kid cut
For Nash that meant sharing his story.
down in his prime is one that is un-
“I called and talked to the semi driver that hit me,” he
STIGMA MAGAZINE | 31
recalls, “and it set him free. He didn’t know that I had
for years on the road playing from Canada to Japan for
come back to life. And it wasn’t so much what it did for
real audiences, poised for success and maybe even fame,
that guy as what it did for me. I hung up the phone and I
when again, everything changed. He was offered what
thought, ‘whoa, that felt good. It’s something you learn in
he calls a “Johnny Cash-style” tour—him and a guitar—tell-
the 12-Step programs, using your story to help other peo-
ing his story across Canada. It was a nine-month, unpaid
ple because it’s part of your own healing. I wanted to tell
tour in prisons, junior detention centres, reservations and
my story to as many people as I could, so other people
schools. His record company told him that he wouldn’t be
wouldn’t have to die like I did before they started to live.”
able to do it.
When he sat down to figure out how he was going to
“It felt right,” Nash says, “so to do the tour I had to rip up
manage that, the answer turned out to be music. Not a
my record deal, my publishing deal and my management
conventional choice for someone whose worst grades
deal; everyone thought I was crazy but it was honestly one
were in music, but he started a band and turned out a
of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”
studio album.
In the beginning he was just telling his story, the story
“We were terrible,” Nash says. “My purpose was what re-
of his accident. He didn’t talk about the dark places he
ally got me through those first years with concerts where
had gone afterwards, the suicidal thoughts that he hadn’t
there were only six people in the audience. By the fourth
shared with anyone before.
album we got pretty good.” That was when Nash was offered a record deal that came with an international tour. He was getting ready
32 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
Then, he was called to a school that was still reeling from a recent suicide, where one student was still living but had entered into a suicide pact with her dead classmate.
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STIGMA MAGAZINE | 33
“The principal said, ‘we don’t know who this other person is. Can you come right away?’ Because they had heard
Especially, since we don’t charge a dollar for the work that we do.”
about our show, and how effective it was,” Nash says. “So
It’s been six years since Nash hit the road with his gui-
for the first time I sat in front of an audience, a school,
tar for that first tour and now, along with his band, he
and I had gotten to this place where I knew it was time to
is still going strong across Canada to schools, reserves,
talk about it, so I shared that I had had my own suicidal
prisons and almost anywhere else people might bene-
thoughts. I said: ‘I just want you to know that you’re not
fit from hearing the story he has to tell. His band works
alone.’ And after the show a young girl came up and she
with the schools they visit to make sure the students who
handed me her suicide note.”
reach out get help and continue to better their mental
It was the beginning of what would become something
health. He sees students from other visits waiting for the
of a pattern for Nash. Six years later, he now discusses the
bus when they pull in to a school they’ve played at before.
subject with the easy confidence of someone who’s told
When asked about the future, Nash has mixed feelings.
a tale so many times it just sounds natural. He’s collect-
“When we started the tour we only went to high
ed hundreds of suicide notes, razors and more from stu-
schools,” he says, “but what we saw the Grade 12 students
dents who heard that message, that they are not alone,
doing at the beginning of this tour, that’s what the Grade
and found the strength to reach out for help.
8 students are doing now. And what the Grade 8 students
“It was a nine-month tour,” he says, “and I thought that
were doing, that’s what the Grade 5 students are doing.
would be the end of it. But at the end of the nine months,
I think we’re starting to finally get people talking, I think
schools were still calling, saying they’ve never seen some-
there’s been a lot of movement towards trying to break
one get through to the kids like that. They asked us to
down the stigma, but there’s still a long ways to go.”
come back, and back, and we just kept getting booked.
34 | STIGMA MAGAZINE
Learn more about Robb Nash at www.robbnash.com.
STAMPING OUR FEET FOR MENTAL HEALTH
B4 IT’S TOO LATE By Marie Engel
The time for patience has ended. If there is one statement that can unite all the different speakers of the Canadian Mental Health Association of BC’s B4Stage4 Conference into something definitive, it is that. We have no more time to be patient, to wait and see what the future will bring to mental health and addictions care in Canada. Our patience is, quite literally, killing people through a gradual attrition of health while they linger in health care limbo for years. This, the conference made clear, is not an issue isolated to certain demographics but instead one of the great
unifiers of our generation. The truth is, no matter where you’re born or what colour you are, you’re probably going to receive subpar and insufficient mental health care in Canada. Over the three-day conference, people from every walk of life took the stage and told a remarkable range of stories about a wide spectrum of substance abuse and mental health disorders, yet they all remained linked by one simple fact: when they or their loved ones got sick, they were all told, in one way or another, that there was virtually no help available to them. That they had to wait or,
most shockingly, that they had to be more ill before any help could be provided to them—a concept reflected in the name of the conference itself. B4Stage4 refers to the idea that we don’t wait until cancer is at stage four before treating it, so we shouldn’t wait that long to treat mental health issues, either. And within this gathering, the speakers—all of them—are determined that this is something we need to end, that there is no more time left for patience and polite nudging. It’s time to get mad. Stamp our feet. Make demands instead of requests. Day one’s keynote speaker was Norman Lamb, the British MP who spearheaded the UK’s initiative to integrate physical and mental health care. This act went a long way to equalizing mental health by letting people choose where they wanted to be treated, reducing wait times, and bringing the importance of preventative mental health care to the forefront. He conveys that despite how far ahead they are in the UK compared to here in the far west, he feels the work in the UK is just beginning. “I’m totally impatient for change,” he says to a room packed with the men and women who have gathered to represent mental health and addictions care in BC. “Government now says the right things…but the gap between the rhetoric and the reality for families is vast.” He should know. An integral part of Lamb’s talk centred on his own family: a son who suffered with severe OCD and substance abuse issues and a sister who took her own life after prolonged inpatient care failed to provide for her. Lamb’s voice rises with obvious passion as he describes the endless stories of mental health care failing to provide for the most vulnerable members of society, lambasting the inaction on every level of government to deal with what has become a scientifically and mathematically undeniable need. He is clearly angry at times, undeniably sad at others. It is a tremendous talk and seeing it come pouring out of a dapper, unassuming little man who could be anyone’s neighbour, grandfather, or friend would make any listener believe that we are truly on the cusp of social change and progress. The long list of speakers during the event included the CEO of Mental Health America, who told the story of his son Tim’s long descent into severe schizophrenia, and how the reactions of the schools and health care system made his family feel powerless to help their child; psychiatrist Michael Pond, who told the story of his alcoholism
and eventual recovery, heavily critiquing our societal reliance on 12-step programs that don’t address the needs of many substance abusers; a strikingly young woman named MJ Ziemann, who recounted struggling with an eating disorder and yet being told she wasn’t sick enough to qualify for treatment; Recovery Day founder and longtime advocate Annie McCullough; and a variety of other scientists, politicians and care providers who are, just like Lamb, impatient for change. In pursuit of that change for Canada, the CMHA of BC assembled a mental health care manifesto for the conference, which is still available online to sign and support. Lamb and his fellow speakers left the crowd with the message that we must stop defending the indefensible and stop lauding our health care system and our reputation as a compassionate, caring people when we have left so many without the help they need. Acknowledging our shortcomings and recognizing the steps we need to fix it is just our first step. You can visit the CMHA of BC’s website at www.cmha.bc.ca or go directly to view the B4Stage4 Manifesto and add your name to their petition for change at www.B4Stage4.ca.
Helping one person at a time, Reverend Al and donors like you deliver proactive services to the most vulnerable members of our community. GIVE TODAY AT
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STIGMA MAGAZINE | 37
THE INTERCEDER OF TWO WORLDS By T. L. Alton
S
ETTLING IN FOR THE WINTER’S NIGHT, I peer up-
The abrupt dripping of water, coming from the inside of
wards at the stardust currents filling our galaxy. I
my 1991 vehicle, is a reminder that my sleeping conditions
pause for a moment, in awe of the immense radi-
are not ideal. The sound of zippers sliding back and forth to
ance surrounding me. Unfolding my sleeping bag, I place
access my possessions has become all too familiar. Living
several hand warmers inside the layers of dense cotton.
out of bags requires a sense of ingenuity. However, earli-
My street clothing masks my thermal socks and flannel
er in the day when grabbing a coffee from Tim Horton’s, I
pajamas. The toque covering my head has room only for
considered myself fortunate. I saw a man covered in debris,
my eyes to gaze out to the nearby canopy of trees that ex-
wrestling with the biting cold, while birds chirped nearby
tends to the intersecting skyline.
in the shrubbery.
For many, this picturesque scenery would be reminis-
My descent into this social crisis happened over the
cent of winter camping in British Columbia. For me, it is
course of four months. I went from paying my monthly bills
another day of survival. I am not nestled into a local camp-
and rent on time to receiving two major work injuries that
site; instead, I am homeless and living in my car at a local
sidetracked my plans. The loss of employment graduated
church’s parking lot.
into a Workers Compensation Board claim and, months
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later, approval for medical employment insurance. I could
shelters, as I do not suffer from alcohol or drug addictions.
no longer perform the 40 hours of labour and needed to
Likewise, I was not fleeing an abusive domestic relation-
reconsider future work. Later, a full body scan revealed
ship. These pertinent factors determine the placement ei-
early arthritis in several joints. I began weekly physiother-
ther in a local shelter or in a rehabilitation facility.
apy and attended sessions on pain management held by
Another cause of stress was filling out all of the forms re-
the Arthritis Society. In between WCB coverage ending
quired for BC Housing and Income Assistance. As a former
and approval of E.I., there was a six-week delay. With no in-
government employee, my job was once writing and filing
come, I had no choice but to move out of my home, place
letters. None of this seemed to matter when after mounds
my stuff in storage and start sleeping in my vehicle.
of frustration, I finally accomplished submitting my paper-
While I have received stigma before, due to my two men-
work to BC Housing. It occurred to me that others with a
tal health diagnoses of bipolar and post-traumatic stress
disability, with a lack of education and living with addic-
disorder, I was surprised at the looks of disdain I received
tions would be consumed with the aggravation of trying
for being homeless. Pulling up to a parking space, with my
to navigate the system.
car fully loaded, a woman emerged from a business to in-
Weeks later, I spoke with a social worker who recom-
struct me that I could not park there. Glancing over to the
mended I contact BC Housing about my application. To
sign stating two-hour parking, I inquired why not.
my dismay, I found out my file had not been activated yet,
Lowering her voice, she replied, “I mean, you can’t stay here to sleep.”
as I had checked off the wrong boxes for a place to live. Every unit I had chosen was for 55+ and I was not eligible.
Her assumption was wrong. I pointed over to my bank
I did not know I had made this costly mistake—and it is
of 20 years and said, “That’s good, because I came to do
up to those who apply to be vigilant about checking on
some banking.”
status.
Being homeless has not halted my writing; rather, it has enhanced it. I am able to see things, without my
My next shock came when I found out the long waiting periods associated with BC Housing.
rose-coloured glasses. I have attended several non-profit
I was told that a single woman, with no spouse or chil-
fundraisers and provided coverage of each event as T. L.
dren, has a wait time ranging from one to five years for a
Alton the writer, instead of the mentally ill, homeless lady
bachelor and seven to 10 years for a one-bedroom unit.
living in her vehicle. In December, I was asked to speak at
To those that believe no one would live in their vehicle
the closure of the Stop Human Trafficking workshop, host-
for three to five years, awaiting housing, know that these
ed by the Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria. Af-
people do exist. For myself, receiving the means of a lim-
ter, I sent my blog posts to the charitable organizations
ited, fixed income does not get me a place to stay, amidst
involved in the event, explaining my situation and that I
the lack of affordable housing. The cramped living condi-
was invisible amongst them. It furthered my passion for
tions of the burgundy, damp interior of my car is where I
social causes and making a difference.
dream of a secured home to live.
With my home gone and without an income, I realized
When the holiday season was upon us, my life was in-
the gift in my words could be used to advocate for myself
undated by acts of benevolence that saw me receive food
and others. Instead of being swathed in embarrassment, I
and temporary shelter, in addition to the generosity of
shared with others my journey, leading me to where I am.
people I had never met. Today, I continue to lead my life,
Soon, an unseen community began to take form; much
split in two. Much like the diagnosis of bipolar, my identi-
like the discovery of the lost City of Atlantis, life started
ty once felt like being caught on a swing set from morn-
emerging around me as car-campers helped me to real-
ing until night. Now, I walk a tightrope of living homeless,
ize I was not alone.
carrying the stability pole of normalcy. This balancing act
While finding some common ground with others, I remain divided from some at not being able to stay at most
sees me intermingle with the rest of the social order, while striving to find my new place in this world.
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