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Wads of Corruption

Leaked report presents evidence Stevenson administration tampered with student schedules for cash; students react with anger, shock

By Garden Gnome, Polar Ice and Mr. McGregor

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On Mar. 30 anonymous hacker @AnonymousPatriot leaked a secret about the Stevenson administration after hacking into hundreds of staff emails. Over the past ten years, various administrators have manipulated students’ schedules in order to run a betting ring.

By purposely manipulating student schedules to maximize the frequency of traveling and shortening passing periods, administration bet on which students would walk the most steps daily. Tracking devices were installed in student iPads in order to keep score. In particular, the administration targeted junior students with many reporting blisters on their feet and crushed hopes in their souls.

The administration was able to hide their actions in part due to counselors like Edgar Clancy. Because counselors are allowed to change students’ schedules, the manipulation initially went unnoticed.

“My favorite part is watching students’ motivation cripple under the pressure of reaching their classes on time,” Clancy allegedly said on a Zoom call with other administrators. “When I make schedules, I can’t help but make bets in my head about which students will come crawling toward me, begging for a schedule change, so it’s great we have this group. Wait, are you recording this?”

Clancy, who reportedly lost $78,000 to the betting ring, is currently in litigation with superintendent Erin Waddle, claiming that Waddle stole the money one night. However, anonymous sources from Clancy’s inner circle suggest that the litigation is an elaborate ploy to be cleared of the accusations in the report. Waddle herself, mentioned 12 times in the hacker’s report, vehemently denied Clancy’s claims and those featured in the report.

“I mean, hypothetically, if someone were to participate in a betting ring, it wouldn’t be illegal,” Waddle said. “I mean, I didn’t, but hypothetically if I did, I wouldn’t get fred, right? Wait, really?”

Waddle was most recently spotted leaving a Statesman press conference in great haste. Clancy and Waddle are two of 18 members in the administration facing accusations of participation in the ring, with Principal Zac Elbbog alleged to be the ringleader. It was last reported that an investigative committee has been established by the Board of Education, and if found guilty, staff could face reduced lunches and potential study hall duty. Counselors, including Clancy, could face mandatory walking marathons for their high level of involvement in the ring.

Despite backlash against the betting ring on moral grounds, for many students, the most shocking part of the ring was its effect on traveling rates. According to surveys fve years ago, the daily average of steps walked per student was only about 5,000; now, the average is 17,000 steps, leading P.E. skill test scores to skyrocket. Lucretia Jostens ’24 reportedly caused Elbbog to win $10,000 by tracking a daily average of 18,900 steps. “I spend a lot of time and energy navigating campus to be on time,” Jostens said. “While I’m quite upset that all my struggles have been due to the administration, I’ve never been in such good shape.”

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