Introduction
Welcome Home to the Truth of Who You Are
Welcome home. The journal that sits before you is a space for you to connect to the truth of who you are. There is no 10-step program for self-care. It doesn’t come in a pill and it can’t be ordered on Amazon. What serves me may not serve you. Your own knowledge of what you need most is within you. All you have to bring to this work is a willingness to be authentic and allow yourself space to listen to your truth. The first step in self-care is self-awareness. Once we know ourselves, we can begin to accept, and love ourselves.
The only aspect of self-care practice that is universal is that it is non-negotiable. Self-care is the energy we dedicate back to ourselves so that we may continue to help others. The world needs us to care for ourselves so that we are sustained to continue the work of helping others.
At times this commitment to yourself will bring uncomfortable feelings, since society and organizations are not always aligned with what is best for us. We must stand firmly rooted in loving ourselves and deepening our relationships with ourselves, so we will be equipped to guide others in their journey to self-love and wholeness.
This journal is a call to action for all of us to harness the power of caring for our brains and bodies in order to create the life that we were born to have.
The truth is we will never end suffering, trauma, or stress. You will be asked to do more with less. Your class size, caseload and patient volume will increase. There will be higher standards, more paperwork and less time. There will be flaws in the system whether it be health care, mental health, education, law enforcement or the military. There will be oceans of suffering and more people in need. It’s a tough world for helping professionals. We will need to find ways to live –and flourish in our work. How will we do it? How can we make peace with a world that has such vast capacity for joy and pain? The only way to answer that question is to look within.
My greatest hope is that this journal can be a guide as you begin or continue your commitment to self-care. This journey is non-negotiable. The world needs us to care for ourselves. As we guide others on their path to balance, strength, peace and love, we will have to take the journey for ourselves first. When you sit with the most broken people, what they need from you most is to be whole.
“Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
– Brene Brown, “The Gifts of Imperfection”
This process will instill the absolute necessity of the commitment you make to yourself. You will come away with self-defined strategies, activities or non-activities that make you feel connected to your body and alive, grounded in the knowledge that your commitment to self-care is imperative to your ability to help others. Can we bear witness to deep pain and suffering and live a life sprinkled with experiences of joy, connection and expansive aliveness? Can I grieve the losses in my life and still enjoy my lunch? The answer is yes. To be alive and complete, we have to make space to feel it all and choose what we want to grow in our lives. This journal is a space to process through an array of experiences that are designed to help you focus authentically on yourself, and connect to the divine wisdom within that waits to support you. The truth is that you have boundless wisdom and peace and capacity to live the life you choose.
Awareness is the space where all healing, growth and knowing begins. When we connect to the present moment and inquire about what we need most, the answers are all there for us. You infinitely know – it’s just making space to remember your truth. This journal is a space for you to come home to yourself and uncover all the truth and wisdom that lies within. So go on, be brave, stay vulnerable and feel your truth.
Defining Experience
Helping professionals and caregivers do not physically experience the traumatic event, but they emotionally experience it by caring for someone who has experienced trauma, or perhaps you are overwhelmed by toxic stress. An essential first step in a self-care plan is awareness of what is happening. If we are able to recognize signs and symptoms of stress, burnout, vicarious trauma, or compassion fatigue early then we are able to intervene effectively.
Stress is defined as condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal/social resources the individual is able to mobilize.
Burnout
According to David Ballard, American Psychological Association, PsyD, Burnout is “an extended period of time where someone experiences exhaustion and a lack of interest in things, resulting in a decline in their job performance. A lot of burnout really has to do with experiencing chronic stress. In those situations, the demands being placed on you exceed the resources you have available to deal with the stressors.” Burnout does occur suddenly, but creeps up slowly. Overachieving personalities that put a lot of pressure on themselves to excel can be particularly susceptible to burnout because they often try to push through heavy workloads and long work hours ignoring symptoms of chronic stress. Burnout can be observed in phases.
Phase 1 is characterized by high idealistic goals, and willingness to work tirelessly, causing one to fall out of balance with other aspects of life. At this stage you are stimulated and adrenaline is flowing. You are willing to work overtime, and weekends without pay neglecting personal needs.
Phase 2 can be described by experiences of shame and doubt. As we exert ourselves more and more to avoid fear we handle problems as they arise by blaming others, the system. This causes us to lose interest in our work, and question our own abilities. The first obvious symptoms may arise which is irritability, frustration, and disillusionment.
Phase 3 Experiences of positive emotions continue to decrease and you begin to ask, “What’s the point?” Thinking becomes rigid, motivation and creativity diminish. Somatic complaints begin to surface in varied forms.
Phase 4 Depression becomes the predominant feeling, and you feel like giving up. All aspects of life feel dreary. Mental and physical energy is completely exhausted. This stage can be dangerous and can cause serious illness or death. This stage requires outside intervention and your willingness to get your life back under control.
Vicarious Trauma
The profound shift in world view that occurs in helping professionals when they work with clients who have experienced trauma . Helpers notice their fundamental beliefs about the world are altered or damaged by repeated exposure to traumatic material. Vicarious trauma is a cumulative process of exposure and involves intrusive images or nightmares. (Perlman and Saakvitne)
Compassion Fatigue
Compassion Fatigue was a term first coined in 1992 by Carla Joinson, registered nurse, as a unique form of burnout that affected caregivers and resulted in a, “loss of the ability to nurture.”
Compassion Fatigue is defined as the deep, overwhelming physical, emotional, and spiritual weariness that helping professionals and caregivers can experience over time. Compassion fatigue damages our felt sense of hope, empathy, and compassion for other people and ourselves. CF can
profoundly change our personal and professional lives as we feel the qualities that allow us to connect to others erode.
The next few pages will provide you with tools to assess your experiences of stress, burnout, and compassion fatigue.
