spenser magazine: issue five

About 370 miles down the coast from Red's sits Pearl Oyster Bar in the heart of New York City. Pearl is run by Rebecca Charles, who works through 1500 pounds of lobster a week. Ms. Charles and a partner opened her version of a clam shack about fifteen years ago and she is motivated by the same principles in place at Red’s.

“I barely get to do any cooking any more. I have been reduced to a quality control expert,” Ms. Charles laments. “If a customer is unhappy I am horrified because it means that four redundant systems have broken down.”

The crux of the casual/luxury dichotomy is that you want to find yourself in the care of somebody who still respects the lobster even though they’re dealing in volume.

You’re looking for a benevolent despot of the lobster-rich, one who shovels it onto a hot dog bun like it’s nothing but loves every morsel like it’s their life’s blood. For example, Ms. Charles regards herself as a “tinkerer” who will fuss with anything until it’s better. In the case of the lobster roll, this meant moving the ancillary ingredients up while not mistreating the main event.

“Our job is to cook the lobster properly, shell it, and then make the best lobster salad possible,” she says.

This lobster salad goes on a Pepperidge Farm hot dog roll (top-sliced, harder to get than you might imagine) and comes close to perfect except, says Ms. Charles, “some people ask for it without celery, but you have to have celery, so now we mince it fine enough that it can’t be seen.”

I guess it’s a good thing that Rebecca Charles cares enough to try to make everyone happy. I hope it doesn’t drive her crazy because you know what they say about people’s opinions, and everyone definitely has one.

If you are having ten or twelve people over this summer and you aren’t going to roast a whole pig or a goat, then I have two things to suggest. First, don’t invite anyone who objects to the texture of celery, and second, get your largest stockpot out and cook up some lobsters. Your major hurdle is going to be laying in an adequate bun, because I can help with the lobster sourcing.