Underage
What to do when your teen starts dating
from page 6
By Tresa Erickson Feature Writer
the program’s Facebook page, offers parents a number of tips for having more meaningful c onver s at ion s w it h t hei r ch i ld ren about d r i n k i ng , including: • A sk ing open-ended quest ions, such as “If t here’s drinking at the party, what will you do?” or “What do you think about kids who drink?” • L i sten i ng w it h a n open mind. In other words, stay focused on what your child is saying right then, not on what he or she has said in the past, or what parents think their child should be saying.
When discussing drinking, parents should ask open-ended questions, such as “If there’s drinking at the party, what will you do?”
“O u r Fa m i l y Ta l k A b out Drinking program is designed to help parents begin the conversation and maintain an ongoing dialogue, whether their • S et t i ng consistent, clea r child is in elementary, middle boundaries. or high school, or even headed
to college,” said Kathy Casso, vice president of Corporate Social Responsibility for Anheuser-Busch. To lea rn more, v isit w w w. facebook.com/ABFamilyTalk. Source: NAPSI
When you were a teen, the guys did the asking. Today, that’s no longer the case. Girls are just as likely to do the asking, sometimes as early as age 12 or 13. Generally, at this age, dating occurs in a group setting, that is, a group of friends pair up and get together for a night at the movies or the bowling alley. This kind of setting alleviates the pressure of being one-on-one with someone and gives teens an opportunity to get to know each other. Unfortunately, it also sets the stage for peer pressure. Teens in a group setting are more likely to succumb to
peer pressure and do something they wouldn’t otherwise do. Talking to your teen before they go out about the social pressures they might face will help ensure they ma ke t he r ig ht decision should the situation arise. Whether your teen chooses to go out as part of a group or a pair, you need to set some ground rules regarding where and when the date can take place. Public places are ideal, and depending upon the activ it y planned, you may want to insist on adult super v ision. A couple of teens going to the movie theater might not pose as much risk as them going to a concert. In that case, you might
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want to escort your teen and their date to the concert, sitting several rows away from them. As for time, you probably want to insist on a time f ra me for t he date when places are busier, say the early evening rather than the late night. Go ahead and set a curfew to ensure your teen is home at a reasonable time. You might also want to learn a little something about your teen’s date, especially if you do not know them. Find out who their date is and where the two of them met. Be wary of any meetings that took place online. In fact, you might want to monitor your teen’s online activity to ensure they are not accidentally putting themselves in danger. Arrange to actually meet your teen’s date, whether at the front door or inside the house. Although first impressions can be deceiving, actually seeing the person your teen is going out with may make you relax a little. Communication is important when teens are dating. Keep the channels open and be willing to discuss whatever may come up, even if it’s a subject you’re not comfortable with. Make sure your teen knows where you stand on important issues like drugs and alcohol and that they can call on you, day or night, in the event they get into a situation they shouldn’t. Finally, be flexible. Yes, you shou ld set good g rou nd rules, but you should also be willing to change them as the need arises. What works for your teen as a 13-year-old may not work for them later. You may have to be a little more lenient as they mature and extend their curfew with each passing year. The key to maintaining a good relationship with your teen when they are dating is communication. Talk with your teen often and work with them to establish ground rules that suit them and you.
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