A COLLEGE STUDENT’s GUIDE TO…
DATING ABUSE IS A PATTERN OF CONTROLLING, INSULTING AND/OR VIOLENT BEHAVIOR IN CASUAL OR SERIOUS ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. DATING ABUSE can include mental/emotional, financial, technological, sexual and/or physical abuse, and it affects people regardless of age, race, class, gender or sexual orientation.
Call Day One at 800.214.4150 to talk about options, text us at 646.535.DAY1 (3291) or email us at info@dayoneny.org. It's free and confidential.
IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS HAPPENING
THESE ARE SOME EXAM
MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE Your partner constantly puts you down, calls you “stupid” or says you’re “only good for one thing.” PHYSICAL ABUSE Your partner says that if you did as you were told s/he would not have to act that way. Your partner shoves, punches, slaps, kicks, strangles, pushes or grabs you. SEXUAL ABUSE At a bar, you flirt with someone
who‘s been buying you drinks all night. You wake up the next morning in somebody else’s room with no clothes on. You can’t remember how you got there or what happened.
TECHNOLOGY ABUSE Your ex posts or shares sexual
images of you over the internet that you never intended other people to see.
FINANCIAL ABUSE Your partner forces you to buy things for her/him with your meal plan or campus dollars and/or intentionally destroys your things.
MPLES OF ABUSE AND WAYS A PERSON MAY REACT TO IT… AND YOU FEEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS. . .
YOU FEEL ANXIOUS AND BAD ABOUT YOURSELF.
AND YOU FEEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS. . .
YOU’RE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING A PERFECT PARTNER to keep him/her from hitting you. You see a lot
AND YOU FEEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS. . .
YOU’RE CONFUSED AND SCARED. You know you
AND YOU FEEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS. . .
YOU NO LONGER FEEL SAFE ON YOUR CAMPUS.
AND YOU FEEL SOMETHING LIKE THIS. . .
YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO COVER YOUR EXPENSES, and you can’t afford your books or other
You stop going to the classes that you share with your partner. Your grades go down.
less of your friends. You even quit your sports team because it’s too hard to hide the bruises from your teammates.
were too drunk to consent. You’re terrified about sexually transmitted illnesses and/or pregnancy.
You’re embarrassed because the entire student body now has access to the images, and people insult you every day.
necessary school and personal costs.
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. . .
TALK WITH YOUR SCHOOL’S COUNSELING CENTER OR ACADEMIC DEAN and see if you can get a class
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. . .
REPORT THE ABUSE to Campus Safety or reach out to
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. . .
DON’T SHOWER. Go to your campus health center or the
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. . .
SAVE ALL RELATED MESSAGES YOU’VE SENT, SEEN OR RECEIVED, AND REPORT THEM to your judicial
THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. . .
TELL YOUR RESIDENT ADVISOR OR THE STUDENT CONDUCT OFFICE about what’s happening. You can
transfer. If your school doesn’t take action, file a complaint with the Dep’t. of Education’s Office for Civil Rights.
the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 866.331.9474 or at www.loveisrespect.org. If you’re in New York City, call Day One at 800.214.4150 to speak to a counselor or lawyer.
nearest hospital and have them administer a sexual assault evidence exam. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Helpline at 800.656.HOPE.
affairs administrator or dean. If you’re in New York City, call Day One at 800.214.4150 to speak to a counselor or lawyer.
even ask a trusted friend to go with you for support.
HERE ARE THE FACTS:
THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT IS THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE SAFE FROM DATING ABUSE, SEXUAL ASSAULT AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
*The National Institute of Justice, U.S. Department of Justice. “The Sexual Victimization of College Women,” December 2000. **Black, Basile, Breiding, Smith, Walters, Merrick, Chen & Stevens. The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; 2011. ***Krebs, Linquist, Warner, Fisher & Martin. College Women’s Experiences with Physically Forced, Alcohol- or Other Drug-Enabled and Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault Before and Since Entering College. Journal of American College Health 2009; 57(6):639-647
AS A COLLEGE STUDENT, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO A SAFE ENVIRONMENT THAT IS RESPONSIVE TO INCIDENTS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT... TO AN EDUCATION FREE FROM DATING
ABUSE, SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE. Under a federal law called Title IX, most schools have a legal obligation to take immediate action to eliminate dating abuse, prevent it and address its effect. But first you have to report the abuse to the school!
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT... TO KNOW ABOUT REPORTED INCIDENTS
OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE ON YOUR CAMPUS. The Jeanne Clery Act requires colleges and universities in the United States to document violence, abuse and crime on their campuses and share that information with students and their families. This information should include reported dating abuse, sexual assault/harassment.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT... TO CLEAR SCHOOL POLICIES
ABOUT SEXUAL VIOLENCE. THE CAMPUS SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIM’S BILL OF RIGHTS REQUIRES SCHOOLS TO PROVIDE A POLICY THAT INCLUDES: - Procedures for reporting incidents and information about disciplinary proceedings, including the right to know their outcome. - Information about law enforcement, counseling services and how to change your class schedule and residence.
YOUR SCHOOL IS REQUIRED TO PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS AS A STUDENT.
YOUR CAMPUS MUST INFORM STUDENTS ON A YEARLY BASIS AND WHEN A CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED ON CAMPUS. Some do it via email or text.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT... TO CONFIDENTIALITY AND INFORMATION.
The Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act prohibits schools from releasing names or information about you or the person you’ve accused of assaulting you. However, schools may release an assailant’s name once s/he has been found guilty or responsible for a sexually violent act.
IN NEW YORK, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT... TO INFORMATION ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND STALKING. UNDER NEW YORK STATE EDUCATION LAW, SCHOOLS MUST: - Clearly state the penalties and procedures for addressing these offenses and say how they will alert students about them. - Have support services available for victims.
CALL DAY ONE AT 800.214.4150 TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR OPTIONS. YOU CAN TEXT US AT 646.535.DAY1 (3291), OR EMAIL US AT INFO@DAYONENY.ORG.
RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT ON CAMPUS ARE SERIOUS ISSUES. The new ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LAW intends to contribute to positive social change through helping to prevent rape and sexual assault on college campuses in New York. search “Enough is Enough New York” online for more information.
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Day One helps young people recognize the signs of abusive relationships, so they can make healthier choices from day one of dating. We provide legal and social services, educational workshops and organizing opportunities to teens and young adults aged 24 and under who are experiencing intimate partner abuse. You do not need the permission of a parent or adult for any of the services that we offer. Everything you discuss with Day One will be kept confidential. If you or someone you know needs help, call us toll free at 800.214.4150, check us out online at www.dayoneny.org, text us at 646.535.DAY1 (3291) or email us at info@dayoneny.org.
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