Page 2
June 5, 1975
SOUTHWORDS
W e , the Class of '75, Do Hearby Bequeath... I, Karen Jacobsen, being of I, Carrie Rcckert, being of sound(?) mind and decayed collapsible mind and misassembody do hereby bequeath to bled body, do hereby bequeath Patti Gramse my 1(X) per cent to my buddy Laurie "The Dihuman hair faU to wear when vine Ms." Freeman, the followin the presence of a certain ing contents of the kit that goes young man since it seems to along with my presentation of turn him on. To Mark Bolan, the title of Elitor-in-Chief to I will one Super-Deluxe "Jake" her: two unidentified flying to show my appreciation for his arms; a copy of "How To Use kindness at the cast picnic. To Violence To Get What You Mary Bussert, I leave my stu- Want;" a couple thousand usependous leading ability that got less carbon sheets; a bottle of the Soprano section where it is stale Coke, a lot of gossip, a today — nowhere. To Miss bottle of shampoo, and a coupPhyllis Goll, I will my 7th se- le of unseen parents to occupy mester grale in gym and my you and your crew during Tuespromise to strive harder to day layout nights; a pair of achieve a better grade next slippery shoes; a very patient, year. To Martha Krai, I will but possibly ear-plugged, Mr. one weirdo and his favorite Betty; a spare set of contact song to turn him on for Senior lenses the next time some jerk Prom. Last but not least, I will (?) knocks them out; my darlto Laurie Freeman one pair of ings of the staff — "Big D.B." white pants to use as I have Barklow, "John-Boy" Ray, and in time of utter crisis. "Ralph" Meyer; and my famous quote — "If you don't get I, Fred Engler, being of highin, I'm going to wring your ly irregular mind and positively it And to the rest of the exhausted fingers, do hereby be- neck." staff, I leave lot of hope (and queath to Sam Abbate the re- faith, too, I aguess) mains of choir ensemble folder year will be as greatthatas next this No. 2 and all the thrills and one. excitement of accompanying concert choir, along with a compiled list of hints and seWe, the thrilling threesome, crets of piano accompanying Carol "Joann" Anderson, Kathy regularly "offered" to me by "Katie" Banke, and EUeen Wally Flechsig over my shoul- "Ellen" Connor, being of minds der for the last two years, sub- of essence and bodies with postitled, at his suggestion, "It's sibilities, bequeath to Mr. MasAll in the Fingers." trolonardo, "How to Tell ConI, Terri Katzera, leave Sue vincing Stories," including chapMail a memory book of those ters "My Life As A Missionary "Midge" situations; to Nick Va- Monk Among Leper Colonies," nella, I leave a whip to ward "A Night At A Jim Bowie off all of his girly fan club; Concert," and "Yes, We Have to Gail Krue, I leave a pair of No Moldy Clay." Also "A Guide binocs to look at Space and his On How To Remember Names." red machine; and to Patti Guin- As an added bonus, Carol geness, I leave a jar of weight-gain erously sacrifices five inches. pUls. We, James Cox and Thomas We, Dave Brachman and Jim Quinn, hereby leave our offices Davis of AP Biology, table 8, as co-chairmen of the 50-Yard being of spaced minds (due to Line Club to Oie new officers, formaldehyde and various orGreg Juru, president, anl Pe- ganic substances) and glucoester Nagle, vice-president in starved bodies, do hereby will charge of refreshments. Best of the following items: to an exLuck on not getting caught! cellent example of energy storI, Dan Palm, will everything age through liquids—Mr. D. G. "Uncle" Rakowsky, two frog to Beth Thomas. We, Gail Litrenti and Barb skeletons with accompanying Dnmelle, being of perverted skins and a can of Lysol to minds and voluptuous bodies, mask the smell due to the muldo hereby bequeath to all fu- titude of decomposing intestinal ture students of our former pig parts in the book cavity of French teacher, Mr. Mort Igel- our lab table; to Roy Hagman, a complete list of obscene lund's future Biology II AP stuwords and phrases which are dents, two dozen clean, sharp, deleted from his homework as- non-rusted, single-edged razor signments. (If he had just left blades and the book "128 Ways them in the stories, we would- To Draw A Chordata Urogenn't have been so curious to find tial System;" to the rest of the out what they meant!) Also, school, a brighter future due for whoever wishes it, his home to the advances we have obaddress, if any of you future tained through mutational work students feel the urge to pom- done on the Biology I students out all your emotions and per- that are chained in the garage. sonal feelings, or need to describe your love life to him. I, Christiann Berquist, being Also, a recording of the only of unsound mind and wobbly note he sings in the song, "Au body, do bequeath to Judy BrenMeme Endroit." And to Mr. nan and Karen Klages, the plant Feichter, our beloved anthro- room, fish, fish tanks, labs, etc. pology teacher, a free lifetime in A308. I wish you absences membership to Margaret Mead's on dissection days and I cerfin club. tainly hope one of you can add
DqMurtinent Award Home Economics Mary Lee
Depat iiiiein Award Home Economics Barb Stinson
with the secret hiding places that the Electronics II class used to stash the parts they "lost" during experiments. To Mrs. Karlov, Mrs. Hamiltffli, and Mrs. Keen, those devoted ladies of the Audio Visual department, I leave my book entitled How To Properly Run The Audio/Visual Equipment And Return It Unharmed w i t h We, the students of Mr. New's enough copies for the entire 6th period Government/Democ- faculty of Maine South. And, racy Accelerated class, being of last but not least, to the famed socio-economic minds and ab- Maine South drama department We, Clar Keenan, Becky D. sent bodies, do hereby bequeath and Mr. MarteUo, I leave those Bnford, and Tammy Barbalace, the following assortment of od- perverted men of the lifting the spirits of past shows, being of exposable bodies, "in- dities to our favorite (anl only) staff, hope for the future, and a halfcredible" minds, and hoarse Government teacher, Mr. Tom eaten ham that, uncontest speaker voices, do here- New: one set of dice with no less someonesandwich talks Tim Kup"one's" (for playing "Ghetto" by bequeath to Mr. Skip Waginto eating a cockroach, oner, Mr. Stephen V. Granzyk, with his wife, his own classroom jack Mr. Thomas R. Kerth, and Mr. set of Math IV books, complete will never be found. I, Bonnie Jean Yepsen, b ^ g Vincenzo (?) C. Pinelli, our with a teacher's edition so he loyal and trustworthy (?) speech won't feel left out, 411 ways of of unsound mind and body, do coaches, the following assort- telling a class to "Quiet down," bequeath to Leila Seleen the ment of sundry items, all of next year's varsity basketball ability to miss my name comdeepest sentimental and esoter- team, the Rand McNaUy 3x5 pletely in roll call for choir. To ic value: 16 downy pillows (with notecard guide to "All There Is Renate Kol'in, I leave my posispecial non-tear covers), one to See and Do in Scenic Green- tions i n spring musicals, case of Mazo!a Oil (poly-unsat- field, Indiana," a bottle of Al- screams, and laughter in the urated, you know), a master berto Balsam Hair Conditioner, hope that she will have as much key to the seventh floor of 12 matching diagrams of The fun as I did. To Miss Miles, I Peoria's SW Howard Johnson's Frog from Biology IV AP, one leave m y regular comment (only the rooms with a view yellow bow tie to match his yel- about her exercises and dance of the river), four Maine North low pants, one 870 year old alli- steps, "This has got to be a gym suits to wear as substi- gator to wrestle with, and last joke!" Finally, to the Hallowed tute "jammies," four matched but certainly not least — 2 Halls of Maine South, I leave sets of goggles and vampire box seat tickets to The Game. peace and quiet because my bagpipes won't be echoing from teeth from the Heritage House, one box of Dramamine to counWe, Dayna Limperes and the walls. ter the effects of "Big G's" Michelle Nocolau, hereby wiU to We, Julie Atkinson and Jan driving, and one Polaroid cam- Miss Butler a dozen fresh roses; Blieceffer, of unconditionel bodera so that the evidence will to next year's Marlin officers, ies and eternally lost minds, do be immediately visible. directions to Miss Butler's house hereby will and bequeath the and our leftover toilet paper; follo^ving to our freshman I, Karen Aho, being of es- to all potential floaters, our friends from 5A lunch, Debbie tranged body and a mind that recipes of all our "goodies;" and Laura: one soft pretzel, one never did exist, do hereby be- and to Julie Cox, a hearing aid carton of lemonade, 20 nickels, Terry, Brian, Mark, Jerry, and queath the following: to Kim so she will "hear no evil." Lisa to divide up between them Hendee, a personal phone at We. Laura Ogle, Pam Mays, as they see fit. work so I don't have to talk We, the senior varsity distance to your boss whenever I call ... and Karen Jacobsen, do hereby to Mr. Spear, as usual, a new bequeath, as former members runners, being of fast bodies set of batons only to be thrown of that astute organization. Con- and somewhat slower minds, do in the ceiling next year; to Mr. cert Choir, to Mary Bussert, hereby bequeath to Mike SandRico, my first and only fiddle Patti Gramse, and Sue Bressler, rock, Steve Senf, and Tim Mcteacher, Kreutzer Etudes and our tears and fears, and as a Namara, another year with Flesch scales. Need I say more? special bonus, a quantity of that Klancy — Enjoy it. And to And to orchestra I leave my previous quality, PATIENCE. Klancy, we leave a copy of "The mangled gown, in-class parties, For him whom we suffered un- Fan Club" and a six-pack of gross concertos, g-strings and der, we leave a microphone for beer so that he will know what other assorted goodies, but most the altos and to next year's en- we do on Saturday nights inof all, best wishes for a great semble, we donate three skirts, stead of running. three shirts, three vests, and time next year. all the darned jackets you want. I, Patti Tracy, of strange I, Natalie Petruska, freely will To Bronwyn Lange, we allot mind and even stranger body my mind to those who don't the presidency of the Spazs An- do hereby bequeath to Mr. graduate this year ... oops ... I onymous Club and to Mark Bol- Kerth, a year's supply of Vita-' forgot I don't have one. Instead an, the leadership of the Slaugh- Grow and a book on the art of I wUl my superb dancing talent ter of the Innocent. Finally to talking to plants. I also leave and coordination to fumble foot all the future women of Concert him a membership to t h e Scott Rix, alias Yogi Bear, and Choir, we leave the hope that "Short People of the World leave all my worn-out ballet your tenors and basses come Movement." To Miss Albrecht I leave a well-worn sweatshirt shoes to the new president of alive. (due to those COLD first period Orchesis, Kathy Siavelas. Best of luck to everyone. I, Guy Goerdo, still looking tennis games) and a tennis ball for my mind and trying to get that has bounced in one too I, Pam Lossman, do hereby rid of my body, do hereby up- many puddles. To Mr. Drennan will some of my most treasured hold this last Will and Testa- I leave a soft pillow for that and cherished belongings as fol- ment. To the ever popular Dan long bus ride up to Quetico and lows: To Wendy Miller, I leave Connolly, I leave all the milk my burnt socks from past canoe a life-time supply of too short cartons that he tried to juggle trips. To Mr. New I leave the dresses; to Randy Forty I leave and would end up dropping and hope (plus a few prayers) that the book Learn to Jitterbug. /or spilling. To Mr. No- his next year's Democracy class Square Dance, Foxtrot, and Pol- wak, in the Electronics depart- will be better (I doubt if it ka in 3 Easy Lessons; to all ment, I leave a map, marked could get worse).
better than I could. To Michael Davis Harris, I hereby leave my lost cause of the year, my memories of Probability and Statistics. May the computer accept all your programs and may your brain understand the difference between permutations and combinations. To Mr. Kent, I leave unadded numbers, incorrectly added numbers, an un cleaned storeroom, empty towel dispensers, and some silence OTifce I leave for good.
next year's Treble Choir Totsies I leave my big mouth; to Danny Palumbo I leave some lead weights for his head so he can stop growing; to Kirk Linde I leave the book 1001 filings to Do in Humanities; and finally to the remaining Orchesis members and especially to Miss Miles I leave my love.
Department Award Industrial Education Bill Dulisch
Department Award Language Anne Huedepohl
Department Award Language Gail Litrenti