Don’t worry about loving “too hard.” Get that thought out of your head. Don’t go into love with low or high expectations. Just go with the flow. So…you went through that terrible relationship last year and you finally walked away from it. Good for you. Now you’re feeling as if you didn’t get a good return on the investment of your mind, body and soul. And on top of all that, you managed to convince yourself that you loved that person too hard? So as a result, you vowed to never love anyone again, and if you do, you’ll be careful not to subject yourself to such conditions again. And whether you know it or not, you’re now willingly held hostage by your relationship regrets while, the person who caused these regrets has gone on with their lives and is living happily ever after with someone else. Well, I personally know how it feels to love someone with the very core of your heart. I know how it feels to love someone to where it’s almost impossible to put the words together to express how you feel. You would be willing to do anything, even give up your heaven to go through hell with them while putting your own wants and desires aside to make them happy. I personally know how it feels to give your all until the end. I have loved so much . . . to the point where it wasn’t humanly possible to love any more. Then out of nowhere, a curveball comes along and turns your world upside down…and you’re left heartbroken. In some cases, such an experience would leave a person bitter. It would make a person shut down and not open their hearts to anyone else. No one wants to be hurt again. There’s no reason why you should put up a wall around yourself. There’s no reason you should have to shield your heart from the possibility of being hurt again. It’s not fair to you nor is it fair to the “next”
person. Believe it or not, it’s not even fair to the person who hurt you. Think about it…they were just being who they really are. Can you fault someone for being who they are? No. But you can take responsibility for having made that choice…right? Do you have relationship regrets? Well, let’s dissect them. What is the one thing all those regrets have in common? You guessed it…the person who has them. That’s YOU! In all your relationships, you are what’s known as the “common denominator.” That means all the people you ever dated have at least one thing in common. That’s “YOU”! All the regrets you are carrying around are a direct result of decisions made by YOU. There would have been no relationship had YOU not chosen those people. So you have to take responsibility for the part you play. That doesn’t mean beat yourself up over your mistakes. You just have to learn from them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you make “bad” decisions. You just have to start making better decisions. Do things a little different. At least it will put you in a different situation. You cannot get new results by doing the same ole thing right? In a perfect world, we should be free to love as much and as hard as we want to. And we are really free to do that. However, unfaithfulness, disloyalty and deceit remind us that this world is not perfect at all. So what do you do? How do you assure yourself that hurt will not come knocking at your door? Well…you can’t. You can’t prevent life from doing what it does. But here’s what you can do... Don’t worry about loving “too hard.” Get that thought out of your head. Don’t go into love with low or high expectations. Just go with the flow. Let it happen. Don’t over think it. In any relationship, just give it your best shot. If you don’t give it your best, then what’s the point of trying? Love has consequences. But if done right, love should not be stifled by its consequences. No one knows how much time they have left. So why waste it all wallowing in your past mistakes? My great grandmother used to say, “Be thankful that it’s as well as it is.” Life can always be worse and regrets can be the least of your problems. So let it go and keep it moving! Don’t pull last year’s regrets into your New Year! Leave them behind where they belong. Allow 2015 to be a year of new beginnings and no regrets. Besides, how can you pack for a new trip if you still haven’t unpacked your bags from the last one? Southern Soul l January 2015
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