Come Back to Church by Heidi Wong
With almost everything we know experiencing a digital transformation in the past year, it’s sometimes surreal to think we ever used to actually do things “in person.” During the past 15 months, we have witnessed work “off-sites” morphing into draining “virtual summits.” Neatly structured plans dissolved into organized chaos before finding their footing in the “new normal.” Playing Settlers of Catan with a board, table, and snacks turned into “bring your own snack” while attempting to replicate the familiar banter over Facetime and Wi-Fi. While some praise the efficiency gained as a result of a virtual event—“I’m so glad we didn’t have to travel for that!”— this format often leaves us wanting.
The Insufficiency of Digital Presence You may have attended a virtual wedding during the course of the pandemic. The sub-par audio quality, static video frame, and other small squares cheering on mute were never the ideal experience but rather the accepted norms given the circumstances. Feelings of joy for the newly wedded couple coalesced with a sense of lingering discontentment. I felt like the well-intentioned livestream made me feel like I was being shown a cheapened glimpse of their radiance. The groom was dashing and the bride beautiful, yet for such a sacred event and celebratory occasion, the experience felt incomplete. You may have attended virtual funerals as well. You witnessed the shuddering of shoulders that could only imply
soul-wrenching sorrow. From behind your screen, you realized that the halting moments of silence were not due to Wi-Fi issues but rather due to emotions overwhelming those sharing in memoriam of the deceased. But you only heard echoes of what was in the vicinity of the microphone and could only see from one particular vantage point. When the stream ended, you were back in your room, grieving in a ringing silence. For such a sacred and somber occasion, the experience felt disrespectful and wrong. While you saw others mourning together, no one could see you. While neither the wedding nor funeral is primarily about you as an attendee, to be acknowledged in your presence still holds weight.
Being Seen The phrase “being seen” has proliferated throughout the AAPI community in the past year. In the wake of ongoing anti-Asian hate crimes or even in light of a film like Minari, many in the AAPI community have expressed feeling like the world is now finally seeing their story for the first time. It has emboldened some and empowered others to speak up and no longer be satisfied with being relegated to the fray. It is shining a light on pain and darkness, boldly declaring that it is “not okay” and that there is a better way forward. It emphasizes that this better way requires community, affinity, and commitment. Crowds have gathered to speak up, boldly, audibly, and visibly.
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