email anna@socialspider.com Interested in writing, editing, photography, or design? Then join Contrast magazine. You’ll learn new skills, meet celebs and get accredited media training. Come along to one of our Tuesday evening sessions at the Blue Hut, 47 Provost Street, London N1 7NZ (5 minutes walk from Old Street Station) If you would like us to run a workshop session in your school or youth organisation then please get in contact by phone 020 8521 5495 or email anna@socialspider.com.
Editorial
Hi everybody, welcome to the new edition of Contrast! In this issue we’ve got lots of stories for you, including a rundown of all the summer’s hottest festivals and carnivals, from the Wireless at the O2 to Notting Hill. We go behind the scenes of the online film-making project, Our Everyday Lives, which gives young people the chance to talk about the issues that affect them. Sarah Dougan shares her experience of coping with a mental health difficulty, we find out what gong-grabbing blockbuster Slumdog Millionaire has done for its young stars, and we find out more about Hackney’s LGBT project, the Green Door. The weather might be getting better but there is one big dark cloud looming: exams. If you get just a little bit of time while you’re revising, you might like to think about what you’re doing those exams for. College? University? An apprenticeship? A job? There are a lot of big decisions heading your way, so we’ve put together a quick guide to all of them, including putting the whole thing off by taking a gap year. The nu-rave design of this issue was chosen by Abi Oyéwumi and Elsa Mampuya. Contrast will have a new theme every issue. Meanwhile, Contrast has got a new home: the newly renovated Blue Hut near Old Street. It’s not blue and it’s not a hut, but with a dark room, music studio, video suite, two IT rooms, ping pong, pool and an outdoor sports area for football, basketball and tennis, who cares when there is so much to get involved in for free! To get directions and find out more, visit www.skyway.uk.com/bluehut Contrast Editorial Team To get involved in Contrast magazine, call Anna or David on 020 8521 5495 or email contrast@socialspider.com. Follow us on Twitter @contrasthackney and join our Facebook group: Contrast, Hackney’s youth magazine.
Editorial Team Issue Editor Durelle Stevens Fashion Editor Elsa Mampuya Film & TV Editor Abi Oyéwumi Music Editor Rachel Eriemo Politics Editor Rhasan Brunner Features Editor Lara Akinnawo Writers Sarah Dougan, Sarai Neale, Haneefa Armstrong, Omari Donnez-Stewart, Aliyah Desai & Andre Cole Assistant Designers Gordon Adeymi & Merzan Roudette
Contrast is published by Social Spider. Social Spider is a Community Interest Company registered in England, No 4846529 The views expressed in Contrast do not necessarily reflect those of Social Spider or Hackney Council © 2009 Social Spider Community Interest Company ISSN 1754-0623 Contrast is printed on paper that comes from sustainable sources and is monitored by the Forest Stewardship Council, an international organisation that promotes the responsible management of the world’s forests. Advertising: If your organisation is interested in advertising, please call Stephen on 020 8521 7956 or email: stephen@ socialspider.com Download our media pack from www.socialspider.com/contrastmediapack for information on our rates and specifications. Printing managed by: Ten Alps Publishing, 9 Savoy Street, London, WC2E 7HR Tel: 020 7878 2300 Contrast editorial team: Abi Oyéwumi, Christian Jensen, Durelle Stevens, Rachel Eriemo, Elsa Mampuya, Rhasan Brunner and Lara Akinnawo, Contrast assistant designers: Merzan Roudette and Gordon Adeymi Contrast staff team: Mark Brown, David Floyd, Stephen Gardiner, Laurie Penny, David Warrington & Anna Selby The Contrast team would like to thank: SkyWay, Fionn Greig, Agnes Marquis & Jimmy the wheel Contrast is funded by Hackney Youth Opportunity Fund which is managed by young people in Hackney Youth Service. Contrast is supported by: SkyWay, Hackney Libraries, Hackney Youth Parliament and Exposure Organisation Limited.
New Venue for Young People The Blue Hut youth centre in Hackney has been taken over by SkyWay, who will be running a variety of wonderful new courses from its media hub and recording studio. There are photography classes every Tuesday from 6-9pm with Miguel and film making on Wednesdays 6-8.30pm As well as a Youth Enterprise Development Programme that offers support and guidance in bringing your business
Want a Career in Media? The Youth Service Network (YSN) is offering free media and marketing training to young people which could lead to part-time work and extra cash, as well as exceptional experience along the way. You could be trained and working in as little as three months! The Capture Squad is for young people who are serious about a career in media and marketing. You don’t need any experience or qualifications; it’s about getting real ‘hands on’ work experience. The part-time course will look amazing on your CV, help build your media portfolio and kick start your media career. Whether you want to be a scriptwriter, camera operator, editor, production assistant, researcher, runner, or work in promotions and marketing, if you’re creative, motivated and up for a challenge, all of these roles are well within your reach. The course is open to all 16-25-year-olds. For more information call 020 7923 0022, email info@ysn.org.uk or register at www.ysn.org.uk
ideas to life. There are also a variety of Holiday Programmes offering sports and fun days for young people aged 8-19 throughout the school holidays. And best of all, Contrast magazine will be working at the Blue Hut too, every Tuesday from 4.30 - 6.30pm. The Blue Hut is near Old Street at 49 Provost Street, Hackney, N1 7NZ. To find out more about what’s happening there email info@skyway.uk.com
Future Film Competition The Future Film competition is looking for entries from young filmmakers that capture the sights, sounds and spirit of London. Whether it’s tubes, trains, shoppers, skaters, bikers, drivers, hoppers, joggers, jumpers, dancers, jugglers... whatever it is that celebrates what London means to you and demonstrates the pace, vitality and character of this wonderful city on the move. The winning film will be chosen by a celebrity panel and have a new soundtrack specially written and recorded by Ronnie Scott’s house band, and the top five films will be screened at BFI Southbank. You must be aged between 11 and 18, your film must be no longer than three minutes and you must only use copyright-free music. Your film and completed entry form must be submitted by Friday 29 May Other than that you can do what you like. So grab a camera - Mini DV cam, mobile phone, super 8 - whatever you can get your hands on - and get filming! To find out more, visit www.bfi.org.uk/futurefilm
Young Women’s Event
Sharp Shotz Unsigned 09 If you’re a young musican aged under 25 and think you can write a completely original song, Sharp Shotz Unsigned 09 is looking for songs on one of two themes: guns/knives or drugs. All songs must have a positive message and all musical genres are welcome, from grime to classical and everything in between. You must be able to perform the song live as the ten finalists will play to a select panel at Real World Studios. Up for grabs is a once in a lifetime chance to record your song at the famous studios that have hosted the likes of Kylie, Goldfrapp and Massive Attack! For more info visit: www.sharp-shotz.com. Competition closes 10 May.
CYM Xtra!
Young women from Hackney are in for a treat: on Saturday 20th June there will be an all-day event from 12-5pm at Hackney Town Hall with dance, drama, and music performances. There will also be the chance to win a Wii Fit, take part in free workshops, be pampered and get some great career and health advice from a variety of experts. The event is also a unique opportunity to make Hackney a better place for young women. As part of the event you will be able to voice any ideas or concerns you may have and tell Hackney Council staff what you need or would like to see more of in the borough. Ciara McDonnell, Young Women’s worker, says; “If you enjoyed the Young Women’s Event in March, then you’ll love this one. If you are a young woman, aged 13-19, living in Hackney - come along and have fun!” For more information or to help plan the event and share your ideas: Text INFO to Ciara on 07891 514304 or email Ciara. mcdonnell@Hackney.gov.uk
If you play an instrument to Grade 4 or above and want to play with an orchestra, pick up new skills and learn from the professionals, CYM Xtra! may be just the thing. CYM Xtra! is a new strand of the Centre for Young Musicians Hackney that’s been set up to provide new opportunities to experienced young musicians, including composition and music technology workshops with leading artists like composer Matthew King and cellist Natalie Clein (winner of the BBC Young Musician of the Year, the Eurovision Competition for Young Musicians, and the Classical Brit Award!). If you’d like to get involved in CYMXtra! or any of the other courses run by CYM Hackney, visit www.hmdt.org.uk and follow the links.
ell n n o D c M a r Cia
Mind the Gap After finishing your A-levels, and 14 years of continuous schooling, you finally get a chance to make some big life decisions. Christian Jensen finds out which of your options is top of the class
After secondary school, many young people ask themselves ‘what next?’ Continue in further education? Find a job and start work? Or maybe something completely different? Even though it has been viewed as a lazy option, or only for people who are too stupid or indecisive to ‘get on with their lives’, one option can be both exactly the right choice and life defining too: taking a gap year. The world is a big and confusing place, especially when you just get plunged into it as many young people do after secondary school. You might have some idea of what you want and possibly some heavy expectations on your shoulders but when the time actually arrives you are bombarded with thousands of choices and new possibilities. A new phrase has arisen in the last couple of years: ‘quarter life crisis’. It is taken from ‘midlife crisis’ where people realise they have sacrificed their youth for their career and desperately try to make up for it. Quarter life crisis refers to people who have just finished a long education only to
realise they don’t actually like the options they are left with. Maybe they took a job that had a great salary but turned out to be boring, not worth it after all or simply not as good a choice as it seemed when they started. They then face two choices: to take a job they don’t want or start over on another long period of education to replace the one they just ‘wasted’. Not an especially great situation to be in. The following options will help you make the most of a gap year and make sure you are as prepared as you can be for life afterwards. Travel Seeing what lies beyond the horizon and getting to know other cultures are some of the most amazing experiences you can have. Today there are many cheap and easy ways to see a big part of the world and maybe even make it a better place as well. Many organisations offer a volunteering position where you get your expenses paid in exchange for a bit of charitable work. Not only will you save some money but you will connect with the local area and people on an entirely different level. Why stay in a hotel when you could live in and help build a new village in the savanna or deep in the jungle with the locals. Many companies offer package solutions where you get to see several countries and have lots of opportunities to get the most out of them while you are there.
Try out the job now You might have an idea of your perfect job and dream
Useful websites Try out the job now You might have an idea of your perfect job and dream of starting it as soon as possible. Or maybe you have an idea of what a particular job might be like but fear you might be wasting your time getting a degree for a job that isn’t your thing after all. These doubts are never nice but they can be averted easily. Apply for the job you want right now (or one a bit lower in the food chain). Then you will get an impression of how the job really is and get an inside perspective. It might turn out you don’t like it anyway and then you save yourself a lot of hassle. On the other hand, it might be your dream job and you will have gained new contacts and experience that will help you later on - a winwin situation. Improve your CV If you know what you want to do but your CV or school results aren’t quite good enough, use your gap year to contact people inside the job or study area you’re going for and get some advice from people who were once in the same situation as you. Take some evening courses, or a part-time job related to what you want to do. Don’t settle for anything you don’t really want. Work hard to do what you love later. Make some money Some of the most in debt people in society are recently graduated students. Most young people finance their studies with a student loan which, with current university fees at £3,100 and expected to rise, can easily reach over £10,000 after a three year degree course. Spending a year building up a financial safety net is never a bad idea. Find out what you want If you just don’t have a clue, nothing seems to be that exciting or you don’t have anything you yearn for, locking yourself into a career or education you aren’t totally happy with could be one of the worst decisions you can make. Of course your choice now doesn’t determine the rest of your life but it is annoying and can be difficult to start over or change course later. Make a list of what you like and don’t like and then see what kind of jobs match up. Maybe get some advice from a careers advisor. You don’t have to choose right now and such an important decision should never be hurried anyway. It would be better to take a year off now to find out what fits you best, than later realise you wasted five, ten or 20 years of your life. A gap year is a great choice if you use it wisely. It can give you a head start that quickly covers the ground lost by not starting immediately, and put you on a path in life that is right for you.
www.apprenticeships.org.uk For anyone interested in learning by doing www.careersadvice.direct.gov.uk Careers advice and information from the government www.couchsurfing.com Go round the world sofa by sofa www.notgoingtouni.co.uk For alternatives to university www.projects-abroad.co.uk Volunteer projects for gap years www.skill.org.uk Training and careers for young people with any kind of impairment For anyone interested in working in the media try www.skillset.org www.thesite.org.uk/ workandstudy Lots of advice for what to do after secondary school www.vso.org.uk Overseas programmes for 18+
Fun in the Sun You don’t have to spend a wet weekend scraping mud out of your tent to enjoy a festival this summer, with Lara Akinnawo’s guide to what’s coming up in London The clocks have gone forward an hour, the days are longer, the nights are shorter. The sun is being less and less anti-social and our jackets more so. All of this can only mean one thing: festival time is near! So let Contrast be your ultimate festival guide and get the ins and outs of where every young person should be festivaling this year!
Turning Point 8-10 May Turning Point is three days of music, circus, fashion, film, talks, workshops and more at the Roundhouse in Camden. Everything on show has been handpicked by under 25s and some of the big names to make an appearance will be Zane Lowe, Tinchy Strider, Beardy Man and Kano. Find out more and book tickets at www.roundhouse.org.uk/
Love London, Love Your Planet 4-28 June If you care about the environment and want to do more to help save the Earth, Love London, Love Your Planet is probably the largest annual green festival in the world. Hundreds of green events will take place across the capital, sharing ideas and celebrating innovations and giving advice on how we can all do our bit to make London cleaner, greener and more sustainable. Find out more at www.lovelondon.org.uk
Wireless 2009 4-5 July Looking for something a bit bigger? This year the Wireless festival in Hyde Park looks like being the biggest ever. Featuring acts such as Kanye West, Basement Jaxx, Dizzie Rascal, The Streets, Paul Oakenfold and many more, you’ll need to get your tickets early. Check the line-up and buy tickets at www.wirelessfestival. co.uk
Carnival de Cuba 1 August Carnival de Cuba, well known for its family-friendly atmosphere, takes place at Burgess Park in Southwark. Attractions include Cuban cocktails and smoothies, Cuban, Latin and World food, free kids’ activities, dance workshops and much more. For more info visit www.carnival-de-cuba.com
Carnaval del Pueblo 2 August
5th London Poetry Festival 7-10 August
Carnaval del Pueblo will be joining with Carnival de Cuba this year, sharing the same weekend and the same site at Burgess Park. Featuring the very best in Latin American music with artists flying in from South America: Queen of the Drums, Brazilian dancers, Cuban music, salsa, son, cha cha cha, and a spectacular show by the world tango championship dancers, the carnaval expects over 60,000 people. For more info visit www.carnavaldelpueblo.co.uk
If you fancy something a bit more relaxed after all that, the London Poetry Festival is also in Hackney this year. It’s a regular poetry event celebrating contemporary English poetry and promises to be a poetic feast!
Underage Festival 2 August Underage festival is set to take place right here in our very own Hackney at Victoria Park! It is a strictly 14-18 year old event and will feature acts like Ladyhawke, Hadouken! Tinchy Stryder and more. Remember to bring ID - with no over 18s, this time you’ll need to prove you’re under age. More info and tickets at www.efestivals.co.uk/festivals/ underage/2009
Notting Hill Carnival 23-25 August The one not to be missed by any serious carnival goer, Notting Hill Carnival is an annual explosion of music, food, colourful costumes, dance, and most of all, a celebration of culture and diversity! It is Europe’s largest carnival with hundreds of thousands of visitors every year enjoying the vibrant atmosphere. More info at www.nottinghillcarnival.biz
Wherever you decide to go this summer, stay smart and stay safe by sticking close to the people you came with, getting your bearings early on, finding out where everything is (like toilets, exits, payphones, first aid, food and drink) and being prepared. But most importantly, have fun!
The Real Slumdogs
Audiences of Slumdog Millionaire might have wondered if it was possible for a slumdog to actually win a million. As Abi Oyéwumi finds out, it probably isn’t Slumdog Millionaire, a dramatic feel-good movie, centres on Jamal, his brother Salim and friend Latika, who all come from the slums in Mumbai. Jamal becomes the first Indian contestant to win Who Wants to be a Millionaire after every questions relates to his life growing up in the slum. The movie tries to show that everything happens for a reason, and if you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything you want in life. You may recognise Dev Patel, who plays Jamal, from Skins on TV. The Slumdog star is only 18 yet he’s won more awards that most actors in the industry inc luding several BAF TAs
and Grammys. He got an A* in his GCSE drama and auditioned for Skins after his mother saw an advert in the newspaper. He went along even though he had a science exam the next day and who cares how well he did in the exam because having got the part in Skins, he was spotted by Slumdog director, Danny Boyle’s daughter, and got the part of Jamal. His mother obviously knew he had raw talent. Perhaps everything does happen for a reason, just like in the film. Two of the other young actors in Slumdog actually come from the slums the film is set in: Rubina Ali, who plays the young Talika, and Azharuddin Mohammed Ismael, who plays the young Salim. They don’t get enough credit for their performance in more demanding roles and it has been reported in the media they didn’t get paid very much either. It was quite a controversial move to use real children from the slums in the film, and the producers worried that giving them loads of money would distort their lives too much. Instead they were paid small amounts, found places in a special school for disadvantaged kids and given a trust fund they can access if they stay in school until they are 18. The producers also gave £500,000 to a charity that helps improve housing for children in India’s slums and when Azharuddin’s hut in the slum was bulldozed, the producers sent money to help out. Azharuddin’s father was quoted in The Economic Times as saying: “My son has taken on the world and won. I am so proud of him but I want more money. They promised me a new house but it hasn’t happened. I’m still in the slum. I want the money now; it is of no use later.” Meanwhile Rubina’s father apparently went even further. According to the News of the World, he allegedly tried to sell Rubina to an undercover reporter for £200,000. Perhaps starring in a massive international blockbuster distorted their lives so much anyway that the effect of the money would only have meant the young actors and their families weren’t sleeping outside under some plastic sheeting every night. Mumbai is one of the richest cities in India, but more than half of the people there live in slums without clean water, electricity, or basic sanitation. More people already live in Mumbai than in any other city in the world, and the slums are growing faster than the rest of the city. The people living there will always struggle to achieve what they want in life. We’re lucky to live somewhere where we can follow our dreams, and if we’re successful, enjoy all the distortions money, success and international super-stardom can throw at us.
Behind the Green Door The Green Door Youth Project is for young people aged 13-25 who are questioning their gender identity or sexuality, or who identify as lesbian, gay, bi, trans or queer. Green Door member Sarai Neale tells us more. Before I came to the Green Door Project I thought I was too old because most youth projects in Hackney are for people aged 13-19 but the Green Door is for people up to 25. It has really helped me. Before I came I wasn’t comfortable with being a lesbian. I didn’t even identify as LGBT because of my up-bringing and because of my parents. I thought queer people didn’t exist! Having a role model is incredibly important when the whole of society is telling you what you’re doing is wrong. To see and be part of a community and to see older couples is very important. I am really glad I have the Green Door. I wouldn’t be a whole person if I didn’t. It made me realise that it is possible to be who I am and succeed. I grew up half in London and half in a small town so I can see the difference. I see living in London as an opportunity to know other people and not feel isolated. The young people here are more accepting and more open than I’ve experienced elsewhere. Perhaps it is because some Hackney young people have had harder backgrounds and have had to struggle that they are more accepting of diversity. You don’t have to be sure that you are trans, lesbian, gay or bisexual. Don’t think everyone will know who they are and be confident. Even if you’re slightly in denial, never feel like you have to be sure. If you’re questioning anything you should come along to a session and try it. Think of the Green Door as an open place where you can explore who you are. Although the sessions are held in Hackney, you don’t just have to be from east London, you can be from anywhere. Everyone is welcome. The best thing about the Green Door is the support you
get, not just from the staff but from each other as well. We all support each other. It is like another family: we have homecooked dinner together and have discussions over the dinner table. There is a sense of security. It is an environment where you can relax; even if you want to come and do absolutely nothing that’s fine. If you’re not out at work, school or college it is a struggle. The Green Door can be the only place where you can actually relax and be yourself. We would encourage anyone to come along - we don’t bite! As well as a supportive environment the Green Door offers a range of activities such as workshops on cooking, healthy living, sexual health, journalism, CV building, creative writing, drama and art, music and LGBT specific issues. There are also fun trips out, film nights and chill-out evenings for young people to socialise and relax with their peers. We also have parties and residential trips! There are a range of services which young people can use including homework and job searching help, informal counseling sessions, a youth support team to offer advice on schools, college, work and emotional support and a health and sexual health clinic. The Green Door project meets every Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5:30 to 8:30pm. Wednesday evenings is a group for young trans people, or those questioning their gender identity. If you would like more information or would like to go to one of the weekly sessions please call Fionn on 020 8533 2324 or 07772 565546, or email fionn.greig@hackney.gov.uk
Everyday People Our Everyday Lives TV is giving young people the chance to talk about their and things that concern them. Rhasan Brunner finds out how to get involved Our Everyday Lives TV (OEL TV) is a project at Mouth That Roars, a production studio in Hackney, where young people get the chance to make documentary-type films about issues like teenage pregnancy, drugs, body image, the latest fashions and more. The way the discussions are filmed makes it feel like you’re not watching a clip, but sitting in a circle of friends being part of the discussion. The group films are combined with short story clips written and directed by the young people involved. One of these, about peer pressure, shows a girl trying to pretend to her so-called friends that she isn’t seeing a boy called Jordan, who they don’t want her to go out with - when we know she’s just been on the phone to him! Another clip gets you involved in a discussion about fashion, starting with the problem of non-uniform days. “If you don’t have a name brand, people will judge you. If you’ve got a fake name brand, people will judge you.” Says one girl in the group. Her friend adds that “You’re just paying for a label, and at the end of the day, they’re all being made in the same sweatshops by people who make one pound a day.” Contrast got behind the cameras and spoke to the OEL TV crew to find out more. Samuel says: “OEL TV is based on young people and issues they may have in their everyday lives. It’s really good for young people as by the end of the day they all learn something.” At OEL TV young people can have fun and make films, which is a great learning experience.
OEL TV gives young people a place to come together and discuss issues. Young people get to put forward their ideas and find out what other young people think about them. Even if everyone disagrees it just makes the debate better. Muhamed says: “You get to hear what other young people have to say about issues at hand.” “You can learn new things from it,” Sebastian says. “You find out stuff about other issues and you gain more knowledge. Many of the crew working on OEL TV are young people who joined up because they were interested in film-making and wanted to help young people get their voice heard. Kelly says: “Originally I wanted to get involved in acting, but since then I’ve been doing other projects that are opening up other aspects in media.” Samuel joined because he thought it would be a good way to show people what life is like for a teenager living in London. Nearon joined as an aspiring film maker. “I like to make films with other young people,” he says “And it’s a good thing to add to my CV.” The young people at Mouth That Roars have learned a lot from being part of the OEL TV crew. They’ve gained confidence and learnt new media skills.
If you’d like to be part of the OEL TV audience, join Nearon says: “It’s a good way to get people to socialise. As the crew or have any ideas or issues you’d like to see part of the audience they can talk about young people’s discussed, email Mouth That Roars at mouththatroars@ everyday situations. Also, young people get to be heard.” btconnect.com or call 020 7729 2323 or 020 7729 2381 Once the films have been made, other young people can watch them on the OEL TV website. Watch OEL TV at www. oureverydaylives.tv
www.oureverydaylives.tv
Poetry Wish list At first I thought Japan Then Barcelona. Then I changed my mind, Africaans, it would be enough to be fluent. A beach house. A pair of wings. A characteristic nonchalance . A day to swim in the ocean. But most of all the ability to walk into a storybook. and meet imaginary characters. Haneefa Armstrong
I just want to tell you
Do You Want Some? (Part 2) This is part two Yes it’s true To be continued Is what I said I’m still on about an apple That’s bright, crunchy and red Still sweet and big And shiny And true
After William Carlos Wiliams
It reminds me of fun
I just want to tell you I have taken the artwork that was hanging on the wall
It reminds me of you
I know you were going to sell it it matches my bedroom
And food
It reminds me of all good things Happiness, sunshine, fresh air
Only two parts to this Special innovation
All those wonderful Splats of red, blue, green and white
Recite this to all
I just wanted to tell you thank you
Red Hot Anchovy
Aliyah Desai
My Eyes I give you my eyes Because love is blind You have a nice body especially your behind I love the way you’re generous I love the way you’re kind And that’s the reason I give you my eyes Because just being in your presence is enough You’re not dull, better yet you’re wise Even when things get hard and tough I give you my eyes Because my love for you is strong You correct mistake when I’m wrong I give you my eyes.
At special occasions
My Name Why can no one pronounce my name? Sarai It ain’t that hard Sarai Sarah with an ‘i’ Sarai Sarai as is if that might help. or ‘sore’ ‘eye’ but that’s not the way it’s spelt. Saraia, Sara, Sari, Suri, Sarah, Saray, Saroo, Saraiarai, Savia, Savi That ain’t right! Well, I suppose it’s a little my fault. Sarai means troublesome. I bet you didn’t guess that! Sarai Neale
Omari Donmez-Stewart
Poetry written by young people across Hackney. If you would like your work featured in the magazine, email it to contrast@socialspider.com
It’s Good to Talk
In trying to cope with a mental health difficulty, Sarah Dougan found out that the things that can help the most are sometimes the hardest to ask for
My first experience with a mental health problem was in my first year of secondary school. My mum and step-dad had just divorced and I had to move house, all on top of moving up to secondary school. These things combined with problems with my friends led me to get very down and I turned to self-harm as a coping mechanism. At first I kept it to myself. Then as I got worse I confided in one my friends. She took it very well (as she already had a friend who did the same thing). She was also the one who encouraged me to tell a teacher. I managed to tell one of my P.E. teachers about some of the things I had gone through and about how I was feeling. She reacted very well, not over-reacting and scaring me but taking me seriously enough to get me help. She said she would speak to my guidance teacher and in the meantime I could always go and speak to her if I needed someone to talk to. She also encouraged me to tell another of my friends so that my support network increased. Whilst waiting for my guidance teacher to get back to me, I decided to tell another of my friends and also my mum. My friend took it quite badly and told me I was just doing it for the attention. She also decided to tell loads of people in my year so then I had people coming up to me in the corridors calling me things like ‘razor’ or ‘psycho’. I also lost a lot of friends as they didn’t understand what was wrong with me or how to cope with it. This was all going on while I was still waiting for my guidance teacher to get back to me and therefore made me feel more down than ever. My mum decided that she would take me to the doctors as I wasn’t getting help quickly enough at school. My doctor was very understanding and asked to see me again without my mum so that I could talk as openly as I needed to. She then referred me to a mental health nurse in my area who would see me at school. When I first saw the mental health nurse I thought my problems were getting worse. I didn’t like talking to someone through fear that they might think I was
making everything up. However, as I had more sessions I began to open up more and found that the more I opened up, the better I got. Sometimes just saying what the problem was out loud would make it seem less scary, so the talking therapy I received was exactly what I needed. Some of my friends took a little longer to come round and would do things like check my arms for marks, and then shout at me if they found any. But once they began to understand a bit more, they began treating me like they did before they found out about my mental health problem. Although getting help was hard at first, without it I wouldn’t be in the place I am today. Although there is still a stigma attached to people with mental health problems, through education, people are slowly coming round to the idea that sufferers are just normal people.
Sarah is a member of YoungMinds Very Important Kids group. The YoungMinds Very Important Kids panel provides a much-needed voice for children and young people with mental health problems. The panel members campaign regionally, feed into national policy-making, and talk directly to the media about their experiences and ideas on how to improve support for young people. For more information please visit www.youngminds.org.uk
www.youngminds.org.uk