LIVING BEYOND
By Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., D.N.C.C.M., F.A.A.E.T.S. Continued from page 26
UNDERSTANDING SUICIDE
This poem was read to the staff of Wayside House (a nonprofit women’s treatment center who have been helping women for over 40 years) and I happened to be there that day for a holiday event. I was so moved by her words that I thought it was important to share with you how some people in recovery are feeling. She wanted to express her gratitude and it brought tears to many eyes. To all of you out there struggling with addiction, there is hope- Amanda has found it and so can you.
GOING IN CIRCLES By Amanda W. 2017
Fight or flight I won’t, I might I’m home, I’m leaving I can’t, I’m believing in me. For the first time I don’t want to pick up I want to be free I see the light Yet it’s so far away My demons wait close by They want me to come play Misery Is Company and madness is home to me Anxiety is familiar Happiness is a freaking trigger My brain is pure chaos My thoughts are Madness I’m lost ... The wholehearted parenting manifesto The giving tree Every single group Encouraging me to see I’m surrounded by women Who not only succeed, but they believe in me... In me? That’s difficult to swallow, What is it that they see? All I see is failure An addicted mother of three. I threw my life away for addiction My mother swears a hopeful future is fiction. Now I’m surrounded by complete strangers Who gently guide me to recovery. They lovingly shut out all dangers to my sobriety. I can breathe again... God... Grant me the serenity... Bless me with bravery This is where my heart will reside I’m grateful, no longer a failure But a recovering woman of Wayside!
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It is absolutely necessary that we recognize that suicidal thoughts may be caused or influenced by a number of physiological, neurological, biological, or psychological disorders; which eventually flood the mind of the individual. The thoughts may be subtle or they may be vivid messages producing powerful feelings and strong emotions. The thoughts may linger indefinitely waiting for the optimum time to be triggered. Robert Gebbia, CEO for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, AFSP, states that “It’s especially important to be mindful of the way we discuss suicide because with mental illness, words matter. Telling a suicidal person that they are being selfish or cowardly does not inspire courage, it could even make them feel worse. It’s important to understand that people who are feeling suicidal do not choose to feel that way; their feelings are a symptom of their mental illness.” Suicidal individuals frequently feel desperate, isolated and alone. It is not uncommon for someone feeling suicidal to express feelings of hopelessness and despair. “Research suggests that those who do attempt suicide are not thinking rationally. For example, one study found that lower levels of serotonin, a key factor in brain function related to behavioral control and decision-making, led to inability to make choices, impulsivity, and lack of flexibility.” Suicide is not a selfish act nor is it a cowards way out. THE HEALING PROCESS
“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die”
~ Juliette Lewis
For many who have attempted suicide, there is a feeling of regret, shame, confusion, resentment, and possibly anger. It is essential that you ask for help. The healing process is a process indeed. It is through a series of cautious steps that you will ultimately find your place of peace and sincerity. It is the healing process that will serve as your pathway to health and wellness. The journey of the healing process begins with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Allow yourself time to heal. Be certain to establish a safety plan. Be aware of your personal triggers. Practice relaxation techniques such as breathing, journaling, and meditation. Establish a list of preventive activities such as: walking, exercise, reading, listening to uplifting music, being artistic, being around others, and taking time for yourself. Do not punish yourself for thinking certain thoughts. Live your life daily and without regret, blame or shame. Identify your positive network. Be willing to reach out to those closest to you. Do not fear asking for compassion, understanding, comfort and support. Be certain to find a clinician that you trust and identify with. Allow yourself plenty of time to grieve, process and recover. Avoid making any hasty or sudden changes, such as selling your home or quitting your job. Consider taking time for yourself and making time for those who positively support you. Always allow yourself the right to share your thoughts and emotions with those that are significant participants in your life. Do not overwhelm yourself by taking on new tasks, assignments, or projects.
Always remember, that you are not alone. Learn to be your best advocate, ally and friend. There are others who are trained to offer support and guidance through the process of your struggles. Dr. Asa Don Brown, Ph.D., C.C.C., D.N.C.C.M., F.A.A.E.T.S. Website: www.asadonbrown.com References Provided Upon Request
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