VULVATRON It’s the season of ghouls and frights, and who better to help us get in the mood than Vulvatron? A sultry alien-metal crackhead-vixen from the future, Vulvatron appeared on stage with GWAR for the first time earlier this year at Riot Fest Chicago. But don’t be fooled by her overtly domineering sexuality (and name)--her arrival in the band is integral to their survival. A great impending doom awaits GWAR, and Vulvatron, who has “summoned Planck quantities of energy to navigate the fabric of space-time back to this primitive era on Earth” is the band’s only hope. With her high-tech armor, cybernetic implants, and boobs which spew blood, she’s taken on a role as a secondary vocalist for the band. Vulvatron is currently splitting vocal duties with The Berserker Blóthar, a Scumdog warrior from the distant past who was sucked forward through a hole in the space/time continuum and deposited onstage before thousands of fans at this year’s GWAR-B-Q. Unlike Blóthar, high28
by
BRAD KUTNER
Were your mammaries surgically altered? All of the creatures from my time are genetically engineered to optimum proportions.
ranking Scumdog assassin Vulvatron comes from the distant future--she has arrived in our current time from the year 69000 to battle futurofascist forces. And with her mastery of quantum mechanics and the art of war, she’s a force to be reckoned with... when she’s not hung over, or high on crack.
What exactly spews from your boobs? Plasma platelets, I believe they are called on earth - hematocytes, also known as blood. Where does this blood come from?
Vulvatron was nice enough to let us in on her The blood of the groupies we sacrifice after home planet Scumdogia’s own Halloween the show the night before keeps the blood traditions, the key to having a good Halloween supply flowing. here on Earth, and her new role in the band. How do you and The Berserker Blóthar divide What skills make you great for the GWAR singing responsibilities? team? We start with a few fat chicks, and then we My skills are highly advanced compared to slay a few less-savory humans and, depending GWAR’s existing functions, and my armor is which way the head rolls, and who’s more much more suited for the type of battle they hung over and who does more crack, then we will be needing to engage in. Also, the human throw things musically in a certain direction. slaves seem to go crazy over my mammary glands, perhaps because in the last 67000 Halloween is coming up; do they celebrate years, armor has become more flattering to the holiday on Scumdogia? the female form. RVA MAGAZINE 18 FALL 2014