PAGE 20
‘It’s not a good thing, but it’s a conversation that has been part of the African American community for years.’ — Vera Ingram
Vera said. “You’re never quite sure, but it’s always in the back of your mind because you hear stories. I think you have more phones around now, so everything is being recorded, so [police brutality videos] may have heightened the awareness of other people, but that awareness has always been there for us.” The Ingram parents gave their version of “the talk” to their sons senior Will and eighth grader Harrison Ingram. When talking to his sons, Tyrous emphasized the importance of respecting police officers. “One of the things, just growing up as an African American male, I know is to be able to be obedient to elders and adults,” Tyrous said. “We’ve made sure that Will and Harrison know that if they are stopped, they are respectful, saying ‘Yes sir, no sir.’ Do whatever it is they ask you to do and don’t give any reason to [police officers] that you are a threat to them because their lives are on the line as well. They’re humans, and they make mistakes.”
T
The reporter’s voice echoed off the walls in the empty room. Sitting alone on the couch, she watched the news unfold. Another shooting. But when she looked back up at the television, her heart stopped. The gunshots were in Dallas. She rushed to the phone, telling her son to come home immediately. Then, she dialed her husband, who was with their other son at basketball practice in DeSoto. She wanted everybody back in the house — immediately. As she made sure everybody would come home safely, one thought continued to haunt Vera Ingram.
Was the shooter black? With the alarming frequency of police brutality incidents or shootings on the rise, many black parents around the country have changed their approach to parenting. Specifically, some parents are educating their kids on how to respond and comply with police officers. For parents like Vera and Tyrous Ingram, “the talk” has always been a necessary part of their parenting because of the freedom and various influences that their kids have. “For many African Americans, we have thought that maybe we’re getting pulled over or targeted a little bit more than other people,”
yrous also stresses to his kids the importance of having dignity and being perceived well by others. Additionally, he makes sure they know the harsh realities of the world rather than just the sheltered St. Mark’s environment. “As [Will is] driving, whether he’s out at the fair, at the mall, or what have you, how he carries himself and how he speaks, with correct grammar and all of that stuff, makes a difference in how people perceive him,” Tyrous said. “That’s for everybody, but for [Harrison and Will], we really stress and hone in on that because there’s some bad things that go on in here, and they need to be aware that there are consequences. If you leave your bag at St. Mark’s, nothing will happen. But if you leave your bag at a basketball game or the gym, it’s probably not going to be there. So it’s those kind of realities that we make sure to hit on.” While police and civilian shootings have been put under the national spotlight as of late, Vera believes that the conversation that she’s had with her sons has remained the same throughout the years. “I could remember my dad saying the very same thing to my brother and me,” Vera said. “It’s not a good thing, but it has been a conversation that has been part of the African American community for years, if not forever.” With the media playing an important role in the coverage and perception of the shootings, Tyrous believes that the shootings do not reflect the collective consciousness of policemen. In fact, Tyrous believes steps have been taken to better the relationship between police officers and people in communities around the nation. “We’re McDonald’s owners and one of the things that we’re doing is ‘Coffee with a Cop,’” Tyrous said. “And that’s really gained a