THE REMARKER | THURSDAY, APRIL 17, 2014
Trying to find the secret
AIDAN DEWAR
W left.”
Page 18
OPINION
here did all the time go? For the last year or so, my mom often stops me and says, “Honey, there’s not that much time
I always had the same response. “We have so much time. A full year.” And then: “Six months still.” Then: “Three full months left!” And now? 35 days. Where did all the time go? I came in the third grade. After 10 years of early alarms, drives up and down Preston Road and friendships, it’s all coming to an end. Ten years of chapel, cafeteria and inside jokes and it’s all done. Ten years filled with triumph, failure and everything in between. And while it’s a cliché time for reflection, it’s a good time for reflection nonetheless. It’s hard to appreciate a place when it’s the only place I’ve ever really known. For the last ten years, I’ve been lucky enough to call myself a Marksman. And while we do our fair share of complaining, I think we all know how lucky we are to call this place home. The old adage, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone” rings true. I never really understood how special
this place was until the finish line was in sight. Where did all the time go? I began to really reflect after having a conversation with a friend from out of state. We were talking about how excited we were for college. We couldn’t wait for new cities, new challenges and new people. But then we started talking about school life. I said that I was looking forward to being back on campus to visit my teachers during breaks from college. He said he was never going to set foot on his campus again. I went on about how bittersweet graduation was going to be and how I was going to miss school. He expressed only frustration: No one even knows my name. Each student knows everybody in his grade’s name here. And many know most people’s parents and siblings. I have only 35 days left with those students. My teachers are as eager for the bell to ring as the students. My teachers start early and end late and encourage me to come in before and after school. I have only 35 more days with those teachers. Our principal doesn’t care about us and is a horrible speaker.
Mr. Holtberg knows each and every one of us, and I think I learn five new vocab words every time he speaks so expeditiously. It’s his senior year too, and he really is a special leader. He has 35 days left as well. Where did all the time go? After years and years of St. Mark’s, I think I had come to accept the experience as normal. I thought this was how school was. ut there’s a reason we have one of the highest alumni participation rates in the country. There’s a reason our faculty and staff stay here for 20, 30 and 40 years. There’s a reason why every senior’s last newspaper column is going to sound the exact same. If you don’t know that reason, it’s okay. I didn’t realize it until recently. It’s impossible to understand the reason until you have time to reflect. Until then, there are too many grades, sports, quizzes, parties, standardized tests and sleepless nights. But sometime, you will. Maybe you won’t realize it until you walk across a stage in May with a white tuxedo jacket. But there’s a reason we’ll all see some 18-year-old guys crying on May 23. I’ll let you figure it out by yourself.
B
squaringoff
Trix Rabbit
nergizer bunny, freaking relax. You’re always mad crunk poppin’ off. Stop incessantly beating that drum and take off those shades — you’re selling batteries. And while you’re at it, get a new outfit — your batteries aren’t pink. The way you act just raises the hares on my neck. The Trix Rabbit is the best rabbit in the game today. When you wake up from your nightly snooze, do you shake a few D-batteries out of an Energizer box to eat? nah. That’s what I thought — you eat delicious Trix cereal. Real talk — Trix aren’t only for kids, they’re for everybody. Plus, Trix comes up with actual creative names for his product. All the “Energizer Bunny” (if that’s his real name) came up with was AA battery, AAA battery, D battery, etc. This rabbit grabs life by the ears and names the flavors whatever he wants. Orangey orange? Okay okay. Grapity Purple? Fur sure. Rasp-orangey orange swirl? Shut it down. It’s over. Now I wasn’t going to mention it, but all’s fair in love and rabbit war. The Energizer Bunny has a thorough criminal record. He was once arrested for assault and battery (get it?). He even stole a 14-carrot ring once (go on?). Rumors were he even hijacked that Malaysian hareplane. (mmm….okay!). Alright relax. Alright Chuck, you’re up kid. I’m all ears.
Aidan Dewar
R
T
ANDREW GATHERER PHOTO
E
Editorial Board members Aidan Dewar and Charlie Golden square off for the last time. And in honor of Easter, they’re squaring off on the best hares in the game.
Energizer Bunny
rix, do you even know who I am, brah? You come up in here, you insult my glasses, my drum and my stamina. And what do you offer? Boyish enthusiasm? I say that because you have no friends your own age. Get some friends your own age. And you know what? You can’t even outsmart them! They can’t even read, and you’re the dumb one! They pull the same prank every time, hombre. You’re never going to get the cereal. You know what Einstein called doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result? Freakin’ dumb. And that’s what you are. Make fun of me all you want, broseph, but at the end of the day, I’m going to win this battle. Want to know why? Face it homie: I’ve got the looks, the sweet music and soon enough, I’ll have Lola Bunny. We all know that one of these days, old man Elmer Fudd is going to be tired of Bugs Bunny’s bull and decide to blow the rabbit’s brains out. And when that happens, Lola’s gonna be out on the market again. Who’s she gonna go for? The cereal junkie with floppy ears, or the battery-peddling billionaire with a sweet drum. You may love sweets, Trix, but your luck is about to go sour. Hold me back!!! Smell ya later, silly rabbit.
Charlie Golden
or ¿Trix Rabbit or Energizer Bunny?
REMARKER STUDENT NEWSPAPER
editor-in-chief creative director issues editor managing editor senior content editor business manager opinion editor graphics director head photographer special projects editor
Dylan Clark Sam Khoshbin Ryan O’Meara Aidan Dewar Charlie Golden John Caldwell Vishal Gokani Zuyva Sevilla Andrew Gatherer Alexander Munoz
deputy opinion editor Shourya Kumar news editors Alex Kim Vikram Pattabi life editors Cyrus Ganji Cole Gerthoffer sports editors Matthew Conley Teddy Edwards
campus coordinator Ford Robinson reviews specialist Nabeel Muscatwalla copy editor William Sydney staff artists Purujit Chatterjee, Joon Park staff photographers Halbert Bai, Harrison Chen, Arno Goetz, Riley
Graham, Alden James, Graham Kirstein, Cameron Lam, Adam Merchant, Tim O’Meara, Connor Olson, Nico Sanchez, Mason Smith, Corbin Walp staff writers Nick Buckenham, Jacob Chernick, Tabish Dayani, Will Forbes, Richard Jiang, Bradford Beck, William
Caldwell, Cameron Clark, Will Clark, Andrew Hatfield, Kevin He, Noah Koecher, Akshay Malhotra, Davis Marsh, Roby Mize, Philip Montgomery, Zachary Naidu, Matthew Placide, Avery Powell, Anvit Reddy, Philip Smart, Abhi Thummala, P.J. Voorheis staff assistants
Rish Basu, Aiden Blinn, Daniel Cope, John Crawford, Corday Cruz, James Hancock, Easton Honaker, Nolan Jenevein, Shaheer Khan, Case Lowry, Aidan Maurstad, Crawford McCrary, Rohil Rai, Gopal Raman, Ethan Shah. adviser Ray Westbrook
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