Single Mums Business Magazine Winter 2022

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Welcome to the Single Mums Business Magazine, a publication that showcases and celebrates single parents in the UK whilst helping to raise awareness of some unnecessary barriers to homes, work, and finance.

When I founded the SMBN in 2019 I could never have imagined how many amazing solo parents I would meet, all doing the best to utilise their skillsets, make work work, and not only survive, but thrive in a one income per household family. This magazine was created to support their business exposure and give them an opportunity to voice their own challenges, in a bid to help others.

It has been quite a productive year, membership has grown significantly, we have enjoyed our third annual SMBN Awards, we have secured over £8000 in grants for members in most need, with thanks to the Smallwood Trust, we have gained positive exposure for members as sponsors of the Women in Business BIG SHOW in Kent, we have helped to furnish a home for a mum new to single parenting as she fled domestic violence, and, we have hand delivered and enjoyed conversations with our new Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, as well as other MP’s, who I hope, will have read the letters and magazines I gave them. As I always say, ignorance is a genuine lack of knowledge due to not having had applicable lived experience, and that can be forgiven, to a degree, but, once you have that knowledge, you are duty bound by spiritual law to do your best for those who depend on you. It was also a real joy to share my own story at the Purple Shoots South Yorkshire launch, as they shine their angelic light on more precious and vulnerable lives. I would also like to thank Martin Lewis, for his incredible work in standing up for millions of desperate people and his work with Money and Mental Health.

There are so many serious issues out there that quite honestly, women fighting to work in sync with childcare should not be one of them, fighting for a home or to not need a food bank should not be consuming our energy. Let’s get this sorted so we can focus on others that need us. We have many angels, but it should not be on them, our Government must do better.

www.singlemumsbusinessnetwork.co.uk Business Network with a Social Conscience for Single Mums in the United Kingdom

It was great to Sponsor The Women in Business BIG SHOW in KENT in August 2022, and to continue to drive traffic to our Member Directory!

The show is fantastically affordable to exhibit and is brought to you by Sian Murphy who hosts The Women In Business Radio Show.………………………………………………………………

The Women In Business Radio Show broadcasts weekly from Channel Radio in the UK and US, it features inspiring guests, tips resources and laughs for anyone in business - but especially Women In Business!

Listen Live 11am GMT every Thursday at http://www.channelradio.co.uk

on-Wye to Kent and I was very proud of my work work work’ summer holiday. I am also very grateful to SMBN member Genny Jones aka Confident Queen for helping out on the day!

Looking for a new Mobile SIM?

If you follow the Single Mums Business Network on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram OR LinkedIn, this will not be news to you! as caring and sharing is what we do! This is why I raise awareness of MOBLOX:

Piers has always impressed me with his humanity and business knowledge, so I needed to make him aware of the SMBN. As per every initial contact, I was ignored, but I dropped him a gentle reminder every 6 months for three years until eventually I ‘rang a bell’. Even fish behind a radiator eventually gets up ones nose, even if it is invisible to the naked eye! I was excited to hand him one of our first A5 magazines at the Festival of Enterprise pre Covid, and even more excited when, two years later he showed our mag off to his audience, retweeted us, and shared our Insta story. This is very powerful stuff. Fresh hope of being seen and heard is the undercurrent of everything the SMBN is about, and so, with that gratitude, when somebody gives me the time of day, I do what I can to reciprocate! Alas… check out MOBLOX!!

At the moment, for a limited time I believe, you can pick Piers’ brains when he does a LIVE Q&A every Thursday at 4pm. Head over to PiersLinneyTV on YouTube, also, if you head over to the Moblox website, there is an abundance of information and advice for small businesses, there is a Community, and, he has launched his own Mobile SIM, (more to come), totally inspired by not ripping of small business owners and putting profit before people. You can do your own homework from here. But my point is, make the effort, and don’t wait to be saved, we have to be proactive in changing things for the better, and we must always help those who help us, and those who don’t! that is the best of humanity!

There have been times over the years where I have desperately needed help! Simple things that are just physically or financially too much; so we are looking for our very own trusted SMBN SOS team!

One thing I always struggled with was not being able to afford counselling when I needed somebody to talk to, or not having anybody to call to help me move (again) or even if the money was there, not knowing who to trust when I needed some skilled professionals to help me in the home. A simple TV ariel fix would leave me propositioned and feeling vulnerable in my home and so after two years of similar discussions with other single mums particularly; myself and the partners plan to manifest an SMBN SOS bus! So that when a member is in dire straits either emotionally or practically we can send out an SOS to members and trusted external contractors and professionals to see who is free to volunteer for a day or two to help make everything okay.

In August we were able to help a new member with furniture, furnishings, a Grant thanks to the Smallwood Trust, and some much needed practical and emotional support! SMBN supporters donated goods and used their vans! When we have our own SMBN SOS bus, we can use it to transport goods or pile on to turn up and help, or just talk, if a safe circle, good cry and box of chocolates is all that is needed.

So if you fancy being on our database to potentially give some time, and join our imminent directory of trusted and publicly accountable skilled professionals, watch this space or get in touch via email to smbn@singlemumsbusinessnetwork.co.uk And if you have that bus….. you know where to send it!

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EMPOWERMENT SANCTUARY

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Get on the waitlist here:

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The Empowerment Sanctuary is a healing, uplifting and supportive space where you will learn to eradicate your old beliefs and replace them with magnetic new ones. The transformation in your life can be quick and powerful, yet gentle.

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You will feel good knowing you are deserving of fulfilling your dreams whatever they might be and you will grow to feel safe enough to go for them all with without guilt or fear!

There is no other membership out there that combines what I teach: subconscious, energy, meridian, and conscious co-creation work. I have got all bases covered so you are all set for success.

The Empowerment Sanctuary is first and foremost though, a community. When you enter, you'll join a circle of wonderful women beings just like you who are excited and motivated to transform their relationship with themselves and their life.

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with Cover Girl Rebecca Ingram

I work tirelessly to help Single Mums in Business in the UK gain business exposure whilst encouraging the flexible working movement, dispelling misconceptions and reducing stigma.

During the six years that I was trying to build my company I could not access the help I needed. Exhibiting was unaffordable, banks turned me away due to poor credit, TV was out of reach, advertising was expensive, and the jobs that fitted my skillset and salary insisted full time or nothing. I will now help others so that they do not suffer as I have. Motherhood should not be a financial penalty.

When I first wrote to the Prime Minister in 2015 I explained these challenges, I had a response from the Prime Minister’s office to advise that my letter had been passed to the DWP. The DWP responded that they were introducing Universal Credit, that would make work work for single parents. I realised that they really didn’t understand the problem. I didn’t want to go onto UC, I wanted to continue my career and enjoy financial autonomy and pay tax in, not need it out. When I finally managed to speak to the Prime Minister at the Hustings in August I explained my frustration that his true belief was that those who needed food banks also needed upskilling or help into work. Most of us on the ground floor know that we have very skilled hard working people who cannot afford to buy food as well as pay living costs, but alas the message was delivered.

Rishi promised to look at the Social Impact Review and my accompanying letter. It worries me, I’m not sure any of them understand, but we must try, complaining without actively doing all you can to raise awareness amongst those who can implement positive change is like looking at the running machine whilst complaining about lack of exercise. We cannot wait for the grass to be greener, we have to water the grass.

I am consistently doing all that I can to raise awareness of members businesses and the barriers that they endure, and I normally try to evidence this on camera!

Having to turn to the state for support, when you have always been a proud tax payer with a strong work ethic, purely as a result of childcare v presenteeism, is a painful degrading reality, and a great economic cost, that could be resolved so easily with either work fitting into childcare or childcare covering work, one has to give, and I am very hopeful now, that Rishi, with his first hand knowledge of the Social Impact Review, will be able to address this.

The Social Impact Review addresses:

• Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution

• Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution

• Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution

• Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance

..and is printed on the next few pages.

It will be really nice to remove these barriers so that we can finance our own stability, instead of being forced to beg for help, further fuelling the stigma and misconceptions about our community’s work ethos, and focus on other matters that need our attention, such as unethical capitalists, the environment and more vulnerable members of society who need our help in so many ways.

With every change comes renewed hope, renewed hope for action, change, and a better future for us all, and whatever your political views, this is todays’ reality, and this is where less drama, and more productive focus is needed.

I do not know what the next three months looks like, but I know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I also know that our Prime Minister is acutely aware of our community, and it fills me with great pride that SMBN members have benefitted from this incredible exposure, at the highest level.

I promised our ladies I would get our message to the top, and despite my head being held under water by most who could help me do that, I did it anyway.

That is what the SMBN is about, fighting spirit, not giving up, standing up for our right to be heard, and reinforcing that fact that the SMBN means that fighting SOLO is no longer fighting SOLO.

It certainly feels as though the last year has been focused on internal politics between politicians, deflecting away from a society crying out for help, suffering at the hands of greed, let us hope now, that with the scandals and hustings finally over; and with close observation by our compassionate KING CHARLES III, that the Government can refocus on the sick and suicidal society suffering in its shadows.

As we celebrate members and help to raise awareness of their product or service, we have some serious work to do. The Social Impact Report below was widely distributed since its publication in February last year, and we are seeing some great changes, but we will continue to share it until these barriers cease to exist…

SingleMumsBusinessNetwork SocialImpactReview

1.BarrierstoWork,CosttoEconomyandSolution

Most women, following reproduction, face barriers to work that did not exist prior to becoming a primary carer.

Barriers

Drawing on my own personal experience I had a strong work ethic from age 14 when I began working part time, I worked full time immediately following my GCSE’s for 20 years prior to starting a family age 35. I had full expectation of maintaining a full time salary albeit with a little flexibility, and being self sufficient whilst continuing to pay my mortgage which at this point was 10 years and £60K down the line.

During maternity leave, when my request for flexible, or pro rata, slightly reduced hours was declined, due to the full time hours being required to suit the needs of the business under my job description, along with not wanting to set a precedent for other members of staff who may want to work flexibly, I found myself in a situation where I had to advise I would not be returning to work, simply due to the logistical problem of fitting work and the commute into childcare hours. Whilst some women will have (physical) co parenting or grandparent support, millions do not, including those in marriage.

I was not too concerned initially as I had several qualifications and a strong work ethic and so I confidently went about searching for work that would support my needs as a primary carer to work a little more flexibly. This was when I was faced with the reality of suddenly entering a job market with millions of other, intelligent, capable, experienced, and qualified mothers, all needing this flexible / pro rata work. I found work but it was incredibly low pay, under market value for the level of responsibility, due to the high demand for part time work. Consequently, I needed to apply for Income Support, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Reduction, and I was living in relative poverty without a reasonable food budget, let alone any disposable income. In a short space of time my home was repossessed, and I was trapped in the private rental sector, further increasing my outgoings and need for benefits.

As I continued to search for work in line with my skillset and salary scale, I was met on a daily basis with hundreds of social media posts inviting me to work for free, for companies with zero corporate responsibility with respect to the supply chain or Modern Slavery Act, under the ruse of self employment, or I was invited to work in the care sector, which, whilst is an incredible thing to do, is low paid and often underutilises your skillset.

Cost to Economy

The cost to the economy is evident. Instead of paying tax on a full time or 0.7FTE wage, I was in receipt of benefits, the long term impact of this will be more evident throughout this review.

Solution

When I worked in Tenerife in 1998 the local government enforced a law that meant any ex pat business had to employ a 20% local workforce, to ensure their native Canarians were not at a professional or financial disadvantage. It would be reasonable to ask the UK Government to introduce similar legislation to ensure that we do not suffer a disadvantage because of being a primary carer. It is presenteeism that drives benefits and costs the economy billions. Legislation would need to ensure at least 30% of the UK workforce are employed 0.7 or 0.8 FTE in every pay scale. Where flexible and part time working does exist currently, it is mostly an option for support staff and not senior employees. Support staff are more likely to be on a lower wage and consequently are more likely to need universal credit to top up their income.

The real drivers of universal credit are the companies who have a pay scale that does not support levelling up the country and UK economy, and insist on 9 5, 8:30 4:30, 9 5:30 or later with an hour for lunch. If you cannot commit to these hours you are often locked out of work in line with your skillset and salary scale that you have previously worked towards achieving.

We need to reformulate the company pay structure to visually support the circular economy, rather than the hierarchy economy. These companies would then have corporate responsibility for social impact and the UK benefits bill would be reduced by billions.

Equally we need to explore the possibility of a more modern school year. We no longer need children to work the farms on the summer or stay home in the heat. We are in the 21st Century, but still operating as if it were the 19th Century.

It is easy to see how a circular corporate structure would support a circular economy. The thinkers would not have an operation without the doers. We need to level up salaries and remove any structure that leaves the entry level or support staff without sufficient basic needs. This is relevant for every UK employee currently living in relative poverty because of a pay scale that is not in sync with the cost of living. Capitalism = benefits = cost to economy.

1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution

2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution

3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution

4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance

2.BarrierstoFinance,CosttoEconomyandSolution Barriers

Once you enter a world of low income, relative poverty, and without means to put by disposable income for a rainy day, your barriers to finance increase significantly. Consequently, your level of debt further increases when life has a habit of facing you with unaffordable essential expenditure, and you end up in a trap that leaves you, and the economy, in tatters. Again, drawing on my own personal experience. Once I faced the barriers to continue my self sufficient salary, in quick succession my home was repossessed, my credit file damaged to such a degree that I could not access affordable consolidation or rainy day loans, and my only options were high interest loans, pay day loans, and other high interest borrowing. These loans were not used for luxury living, short breaks or big screen TV’s, they were used to cover essential bills, rent shortfall, and food. I was advised to declare myself bankrupt on several occasions, but my adversity did not sway my pride, and desire to repay all borrowing in full. I did not want to have a negative impact on the economy or supply chain, and with help entered arrangements to pay debts long term rather than write them off. But I understand why people do write them off, as often it is unethical, capitalist lending that leaves you vulnerable to loss of life if you do not evidence the results of high interest lending.

Consequently, with a determination not to be reliant long term on benefits as a result of low pay and high rent, I persevered with setting up my own company and working on a self employed basis, alongside part-time work, studying a law degree and solo parenting. But of course, the credit score and lack of asset security, meant that banks and other high street lenders would not help me escape the financial pit of relative poverty and I was judged only on credit score, not on work ethic, acumen, or business potential. These barriers to finance resulted in me being unable to kickstart my business and walk away from needing to claim income support.

CosttoEconomy

Again, it is clear how financial barriers cost the economy. From the costs of bankruptcy to the long-term need for benefits due to financial adversity. Already pensions are affected.

There are many ways to resolve the financial barriers that exist. Regulation of loans and cost of living alongside access to business finance and greater business support. Many women choose self-employment as a measure to continue working when society makes it very difficult for you to earn a living in line with your skillset in the sanctuary of employment security, pensions, and corporate responsibility. If the work force unwittingly holds primary carers back due to presenteeism and capitalism the UK must do better to help people help themselves generate a reasonable salary when they have a strong work ethic. The first solution would be to address the credit scoring system that leaves millions of people without access to finance. The UK is particularly good at offering student loans and it would serve well to offer similar self employment or small business loans. As with the bounce back loans, the bank could be obliged to lend to those in financial hardship with the promise of government underwriting. The best possible thing the Government can do is remove financial barriers and stop banks from holding people back from helping themselves. This money can either be recovered from company income, wages, or worst case scenario benefits, as some other small loans are. But C19 has helped millions of UK constituents see that universal credit would never be a lifestyle choice by anybody who has ever drawn a wage, and that it is a truly degrading, humiliating and unsustainable way of living, if you want any life at all. This would save the economy billions in the long term on benefits, and until the last breath, pension credits.

Equally more attention needs to be given to bank charges, and higher cost of bills due to lower income. To elaborate, when you earn a higher wage and have disposable income you are likely to pay your bills annually, or quarterly, from Council Tax, Car Tax, Home Insurance, Car Insurance, TV Licence, Water and Electricity. When you have been unable to budget for these due to living without disposable income, you have to pay these monthly, when you pay these monthly, you pay more for the ‘privilege’ of doing so. When you are paying bills monthly in adversity, normally this has to be by Direct Debit. If you pay by standing order you can easily move the payment by a couple of days if you are without means, which is often a reality when you live with negative income, in work poverty. Consequently, unable to self manage direct debits, banks will charge you for unpaid direct debits, the company will also charge you for unpaid direct debits, because it is more administration for them, instead of you. With the reality of so many in financial hardship, we need to understand that this is not poor money management, this is poor governance of income v cost of living, and inability to have the autonomy to manage one’s outgoings on a weekly basis without incurring charges.

Banks profit from poverty and refuse to help people out of poverty. This all costs the circular economy and has negative social impact. Disposable income is spent in the economy. Charges and debt cost the economy by increasing the need for benefits and debt relief.

SocialImpactReview

1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution

2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution 3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution

4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance

3.BarrierstoHome,CosttoEconomyandSolution

Barriers

Entering a world of low pay or barriers to finance leaves you in a situation where you consequently face barriers to home. Again, drawing on my personal experience. I had worked for a decade prior to securing my first mortgage and I paid my mortgage for a decade prior to having to enter a world of low paid work and needing a benefit top up in order to survive. Due to the simultaneous adverse credit score I faced significant barriers to home. As part of my career journey I was a qualified estate and letting agent, and I not only witnessed, but was instrumental in, discriminating against prospective tenants with poor credit score or in receipt of benefits, and pricing both sale and rental property, at a rate that was pleasing only to the landlord or vendor, without real Governance or understanding in my twenties of how this would adversely affect the economy long term, leave very vulnerable people destitute, and support the long term rental trap. I am pleased that I was duly punished for this with my own experience. I returned to the same estate agent that I worked for when I was a married homeowner, and landlord, a year later as a single mum on benefits, with a poor credit score and without a guarantor, begging for an affordable property for myself and my daughter, after already being turned away by every other estate agent, and knowing fully why. They did not help me. I had to turn to private, accidental landlords, who advertised in press rather than through an agent. Consequently, these landlords / homes, were either more expensive, short-term, in poor condition, or unethical or unsafe in some other way. I moved several times with my daughter, always paying my rent, albeit with the help of pay day loans, with the constant lack of understanding from those closest to me. Asking why I lived in an expensive house instead of an affordable town house or why I was moving again, they did not understand that the affordable, long term, secure town houses were let to those who looked good on paper, and without a guarantor I was turned away, over 100 times during 6 years of begging.

Of course, my frustration, was that if I had had some help with my mortgage, I could have saved my home, my own estate, my child’s secure future, if there was help in this way I did not know about it. The UK creates booklets of advice for some minority groups, and I think if a similar booklet had been given to me in the maternity ward, the cost to the economy would have been significantly reduced.

Cost to the economy

Because of this rental trap, I needed benefits, the cost to the economy is clear, but when I was eventually awarded a social housing tenancy, my income covered my rent, and so I no longer needed housing benefit, so was it me on benefits, or my landlords. Landlords who profited and gained estates at the cost of the taxpayer. My rent was £200 more than my mortgage, every month for six years.

The cost to the economy over a lifetime is significant. It is not only the cost of needing to apply for housing benefit to pay private rent, but also the long term impact of that private rent leaving the tenant without disposable income, without means to improve the credit score, without means to apply for or save for a mortgage, yet the monthly outgoings of private rent are often equal to, or more than, monthly outgoings for a mortgage. This means reduced means to save a pension, and this means paying rent to the last breath.

Solution

If you remove barriers to homeownership, you remove the need for housing benefit and pension credits in later life. Of course, nobody would want benefits to buy somebody a house, although it is arguable that benefits are exactly what buy landlords houses. It is reasonable to set a standard for a person to evidence a decade of work, tax contributions, and ability to pay rent before they become a homeowner, at least then if they do fall on hard times and need benefits, they are still paying into their own estate and not that of another person. The long term saving to the economy is great, and after a decade of payslips and financial autonomy nobody will choose benefits long term. If a person can pay their own mortgage for 20 or 30 years, they can then spend disposable income into the economy for the last 1/3 or 1/4 of their life. If they do not have a mortgage, they will be struggling to pay rent in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s 90’s and so on. This will have an impact on each generation in that family, without inheritance, security, or the bank of mum and/or dad to help them.

Equally, governance of the private rental sector. This has come a long way with respect to discrimination and fees (albeit discrimination remains subtle), but price setting is ungoverned.

Private rent is a capitalist enterprise, which could at the very least offer grounds for a mortgage where deposit or credit scoring is adversely affected due to barriers to finance and work in sync with salary and skillet. The Government have offered to grants to landlords, but this money could be used to put the estate in the rightful hands of the one paying for it. Credit scoring and barriers to deposit have a lifetime affect on the economy and carries a greater penalty than bankruptcy or manslaughter.

We must accept that houses are no longer £7000. We no longer live in a society where a man’s wage will pay for the cost of living, whilst his wife takes care of all childcare, school holidays, cleaning, cooking, sick days and so on and has equal share to his pension and permanent stability as a result. We live in a society where 1 in 4 households with dependents are single households. One salary no longer enables the cost of living or provides the opportunity to save a mortgage deposit. And women are no longer able to cover school holidays on top of full time work, pension, homeownership, and high private rents. We need to make it okay for one salary to cover one cost of living, otherwise we force people to remain in abusive relationships and make adults less accountable for their behaviour and marriages hard to leave. A marriage should be a happy place, and a financial benefit, not a financial necessity.

SocialImpactReview

1. Barriers to Work, Cost to Economy and Solution

2. Barriers to Finance, Cost to Economy and Solution

3. Barriers to Home, Cost to Economy and Solution

4. Stigma, Misconceptions, and Ignorance

4.Stigma,Misconceptions,andIgnorance Stigma

It is often perceived that a single mum has made bad choices, that she has made a lifestyle choice, and that she is a single mum because she is work shy or uneducated. We must challenge this and help to raise awareness that most of us have a strong work ethic, happy and healthy children, and are single by being divorced or widowed after trying to do it by the book.

Misconceptions

We do not need upskilling, we need barriers removed so that we can use our skills, we do not need a rich man, we need barriers removed so that we can create our own stability and estate, we do not need apprenticeships, we need work in sync with childcare. We do not need charity; we need access to 100% finance to build our own business regardless of adversity.

Ignorance

When I refer to ignorance, I never mean to cause any real offence, ignorance is simply lack of knowledge or experience. I was ignorant and was still a perpetrator to these barriers in my early 30’s. If you do not understand what holds people back and how easily that can be changed that is forgivable, but once you know, you must do something about it. These barriers are created by society. These barriers can be removed by governance of society.

Closing word

Thank you for reading the Social Impact Review created by the Single Mums Business Network, UK. Crucially many of us are in business as a measure to make work work as a primary carer. We do not want to suffer financial hardship because of procreation, and we are doing all that we can to be financially self sufficient whilst working hard to ensure that these barriers do not equate to long term cost to the economy. Until things change there are many ways that the Government can help us to succeed in self employment and we would welcome an audience to discuss that. We can contribute to the UK economy; we can be considered for public sector contracts and we can import and export where we are in manufacturing or supply goods or services. We also need protecting from ungoverned unethical recruiters who enjoy great profit without corporate or social responsibility. We are fighting to build our own pension and provide some stability for our children. Whilst this document is relevant to all primary cares, single dads, and parents in marriage, the focus here is on the 90% of single parents and primary carers in the UK who are women, but it hopes to have a positive impact in reducing barriers to all, regardless of sex or status.

We have had some fantastic landmark rulings of late whereby mothers have successfully taken legal action against employers for not enabling them to work flexibly around their childcare barriers. This sets a lifechanging precedent and, in [21.09.21] news suggested that the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy (BEIS) planned to allow millions of workers to request flexible working from day one at a new employer, replacing the current 26 week period…these requests can still too easily be denied, and, can leave a lady feeling vulnerable for feeling awkward. We need to take the onus off the lady, and implement this (flexible working) as an automatic right at law.

For this we thank the Government and the Judiciary for taking positive steps in the right direction, but we do have a mountain to climb and we need legislation ensuring that childcare hours and working hours are governed properly to ensure that barriers to work no longer exist.

When we are healthy and have a strong work ethic we should not need to touch the public purse at all.

In response to mydaughter’s school confirming that they would continue to closeat 5:15I argued:

'As it stands unless a role finished at 5pm on the dot in *town* or *town* and parking is outside of work and you are prepared to drive putting speed ahead of safety to park outside of school to meet the 5:15 deadline this is extremely stressful,anddangerous.

1 in 4 families are single parents. and most two parent families have one parent at home to avoid the childcare battle. In atwo parent family where one partner earns £28K and theother partner faces barriers, the UC entitlement is £3000, this rises to £4700 for £24K household income and so on. If you multiply this by a class of 30 these 45 minutes cost the economy approx. £115,000 per year in UC. For a single parent this likely to be more. Only a small % of the economy are top earners. If both partners could work full time their household income could increase by at least £18K per annum for your averageofficejob, and the economy would benefitfrom an extra £4K per personin tax (£120Kclass of 30).

If 1in 4families aresingle parents this increases. So for a school with 150 pupils, 45minutes ofchildcare provisionlooks something like this.

150 parents unable to work full time

3in 4 of those parents married = cost to economy £431,250

1in 4 single parent = cost to economy £450,000 (150 / 4= 37.5x 1000x 12)

17:15childcareclosecosttoeconomyperannumper150pupilschool£881,250 thisisaveragewithoutknowledgeof specificlocaldata.

Ifall150canworkfulltimefor£18Kwouldresultapprox.£500Kannualtaxincome.'

I added

'I hope the school can provide a better opportunity and outcome for the families within it and the greater social impact. Funds from the public sector purse should be to support public sector pay and those with disabilities. They should not be used to cover childcarebarriers with an ablebodied workforce.'

I cannot complain about this situation enough, and I cannot believe those who hold the public purse strings and could easily legislate work in sync in childcare are not making this right! Needless to say I did not get a reply,andso neither me nor any 1 of those 120 parents who may be looking for work can apply for most full time roles out there… andthebattlecontinues…Disclaimer myfiguresmaybeoutbutpaymethetreasurer’ssalaryandIwillsitdownfor anhourortwowithacalculator!(hmmm...canthetreasurerworkflexibly?!)

It was really great to hear Martin Lewis talk about the MIF being lifted in the beginning of November 2020, as part of his C19 televised support; until this, many people wouldn’t know about it or understood how it worked.. Let me explain.

If, because of all the reasons explained, you are out of salaried work, and fighting to grow a business because you do not want to live on benefits, you may still need to rely on benefits for a while. When you are a single mum on benefits, the period that you have to draw a full time wage from your business is 12 months. Most men and women in my network know that it takes a few years to build a business to such a level that you can cover your business expenses, pay for continued growth, and draw a full time wage.

A married mother will often have the stability of her husband’s income while she builds her business around childcare. If her husband’s salary worked the same way benefits did, the Government would take several hundred pound of that every month, regardless of whether or not his wife was bringing money in from her business, because she ‘should’ be. This will leave them short for rent, food, bills, council tax and so on, and certainly without disposable income.

I hear you argue that her husband earns that money, but a single mum doesn’t earn benefits, but we need to understand. We trust 20% + of our wages to the Government every month without question, for a lifetime, in agreement that we will not be destitute in our hour of need, in health, or income. Single mums in business have not chosen a benefit

lifestyle, they are not workshy, they are desperate to work, they have an extensive skillset, but because of childcare restrictions v presenteeism they lose their careers and are asked to work part time in low skilled andlow paid work.

Sowhat isthebigger picture?

If a single mum ‘gives in’ on building her business at the stroke of 12, she is then forced into under skilled and under paid work, and is equally forced into needing benefit top ups for the duration of being a single parent. However, if she is supported and encouraged to build her business for a couple of years, until she DOES achieve that income, she will not need benefits for the rest of her working life, and she will go back to payingtax sooner rather than later.

It is critical to remember, that most mums end up in business because they need the flexibility around childcare. If it was that appealing, all men would do it too, but it is much easier to enjoy a salary, a pension, work comradeship and have the children looked after by their primary carer.

I apologise this text leans towards women at home and men in employment, but that is based on the majority. I am aware that this applies to many fathers and single dadsalso.

So what do we need? Understanding, humanity, and appreciation that we are trying to be financially independent long term. And that the short term money we may need is our tax, that we paid without question, to ensure we are all okay if we have a physical or practical barrier.

This is a real life Cinderella story of desperately fighting before the clock strikes 12.

It has never been more crucial to help people get away from needing universal credit. Anybody who has experienced it knows that it is no life at all, and UC income does not offer enough to cover rent and utilities and food, something always has to give, leading into either being cold or unhealthy as carbs and junk food are much cheaper than a healthy diet or needing NHS support for physical and emotional problems as a result. We have already covered the fact that so many are dependent on UC due to barriers that should not exist, and whilst it aims to help it is not enough and whilst the government will remove the uplift to further encourage those who can work, to work, they need to make sure that those who can work, can work

pyramid who benefit from this lifestyle, and it is understandable that so many fall prey to this, as they are so desperate to find a way to make work work and escape the relative poverty trap, with high private rents to pay they will take desperate measures, and essentially what they are doing is losing the window of opportunity to focus on their ‘own’ business, and build their own steady income, whilst the MIF does apply.

I speak from experience of seeing those who suffer most.

To be clear it is not your business if you cannot choose to have your own ecommerce website or PR literature etc.

Itisglorifiedunpaid employment.

The Minimum Income Floor relaxations being lifted fell at the same time as the UC uplift removal, and so if for example you have a child aged between 5 and 12, you will need to be earning the minimum wage at 25 hours per week, that increases to 35 aged 13. That is very difficult to achieve in 12 months. Turnover, yes, profit, more time is needed. This is why I am so passionately protective when it comes to single mums falling prey to certain MLM schemes, get rich by investing in Cryptocurrency schemes and high ticket sales loops.

Selling stuff for another company, working for free, for their benefit, is really not okay, not when it is sold as an achievable full time income, which normally it is not, and less so as time goes on and the market is more saturated with more and more recruited into the MLM industry in order to achieve pyramid style income. These companies need to be honest about average income, and pay proportionate holiday and sick pay and pension, instead of recruiting with the promise of a work from home full time salary lifestyle. They are unethical and it is only those at the top of the

These companies upset me as it is me who ends up trying to clear up their mess instead of spending quality time with my daughter. I do not blame the women who fall for it, but I will not pretend to support it either. It should be used as pocket money in spare time, and if that blossoms then great.

High end ticket sales are equally unethical, they charge desperate people lots of money to tell them to charge lots of money and so on, but what are you charging for? What is the skill? If the skill is to charge people to charge people you won’t sleep well at night at the end of the day. We all need to work for a living, and we need to remove these desperate situations of high private rent, low wages, panic MIF, destitute level UC and so on that leaves people helpless to properly help themselves.

Be very careful what you but into and who you give your time to, please. At least when I buy something from Boots I know the lady on the till gets steady salary and perks etc, and I still love the Body Shop as they operate differently.

Purple Shoots Business Lending (“Purple Shoots”) is a not-for-profit micro finance organisation and a registered charity.

They can help you in two ways:

• Through finance. We provide small business loans at fair rates, we aren’t sharks! It’s easy to apply, with some simple forms to fill in and a meeting. We can offer help with the form filling. Sounds too good to be true? We have a track record of six years, helping people who needed a hand up, not just more hand outs. and we have made a real difference to many people’s lives.

• By creating self reliant groups (SRGs) We provide a place for you to get together with other local people and learn new skills. Come and get empowered! Share your ideas and save and make money with other people. Take back control over your life and make better opportunities for yourself, your family and your community.

Being financially independent and working to save money might seem like a pipe dream. The thing is, all you need is a ”break” and Purple Shoots is committed to offering you one.

Purple Shoots is a registered UK charity and a Responsible Finance Provider. www.purpleshoots.org

‘Purple Shoots has helped start around 600 new businesses in recent years. That's 600 plus people who are no longer on benefits and who have a chance of making a go of something for themselves!’

Purple Shoots have been a lifeline for me personally and I am proud to have pledged to donate 5% of all member fees to Purple Shoots in 2021. This will run from 1st April 2021 to 31st March 2022.

www.workforgood.co.uk/businesses/single-mums-business-network/

It has been a privilege and a joy to watch Purple Shoots expand since they came to my rescue, and last week they invited me to their South Yorkshire launch with their Divisional Director Richard Kirtley where I was able to share my story to help their new audience understand the incredible impact of their work. As I said in my speech;

Purple Shoots is not ‘just’ responsible finance. It saves lives, it saves children from losing mothers. It supports the economy, and the banks as they help people recover as an alternative to administration, they help you to continue to use your skills, upskill, increase confidence, and attend interviews with your headheldhigh.

There are many ways to be self employed and earn a full time income, exceeding what you would earn in standard employment governed by minimum wage, here are some ideas. The only thing you HAVE to do is work really hard at it! Self employment isn’t a ruse to keep people quiet for a year, nor is it a ticket to an easy life where you only work a few hours per week for a passive income. What it is, is an opportunity to set your own earning limits, to attend your own meetings and school plays, and to genuinely excel at doing what you love that also serves others and remunerates you. Most of the suggestions below can easily generate £100 per day £2K per month, for 5 x £20. plus an hour to set aside tax. Get thinking, get doing! Only you can stop you! The benefit of the MIF is that you have 12 months to say ‘this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do, this is me, this is what I do……’

The list is ENDLESS but crucially you can spend two decades or a lifetime on benefits or you can spend a couple of years training up to do something you LOVE. If you are 46, you will be fully qualified in pretty much anything by 50 and you can spend 25 years enjoying work and paying a big fat tax bill we just need GOVERNMENT to make sure there aren’t barriers, we need to make sure all of these careers can be worked in childcare hours, OR, you need to learn everything there is to know about self employment and work for yourself. There is always a way. If THEY won’t help you, help yourself instead.

I’m Claire Harris founder of Pets 2 Places, the worlds first pet taxi franchise. Pets 2 Places is so much more than just a taxi service though.

It’s a multi award winning company with heart, ethos and passion.

Pets 2 Places was founded in 2014, as a service that takes customers with their pets to the vets. It quickly grew into taking owners anywhere they needed to go with their pets, including groomers, kennels, over to see their friends, even on holiday and for divorced couple’s sharing custody of their dog/s.

Pets 2 Places isn’t just about the service though, I’ve become the country’s leading expert on pet transport, I’ve created an awareness day to highlight the importance of transporting pets correctly. Pet Travel Safety Day is now an annual awareness day on 1st July. Alongside this awareness day I aim to educate all dog owners and other pet professionals about transporting pets with the creation of a dog transport course.

I’m also looking to undertake some research and development into accidents involving dogs, to create my own range of crash tested equipment.

I love what I do and I have built a great business around my family commitments.

I am offering franchise opportunities across the UK, this is a comprehensive package with tailored help and support. No two customers are the same so no two franchisees are the same. I can help franchisees not just with training on day to day running of the service and the high level of customers service we offer, but also marketing and publicity for their business, gaining them free advertising.

I can’t wait to build my team and help other people to love what they do.

Pop on over to our social media to see how much our customers truly value the service and what I do.

I can’t think of a better role than being with animals all day and called an angel and a god send all day. Its truly an honour to be able to help people with their pets.

Franchisees need to be animal lovers and be good with people, that’s it, no need to have any business knowledge, no marketing background. I can teach people all of those things, what I cant teach is how to be a good person in their core. If you really want to help people, I want to hear from you

Founder of Pet Travel Safety Day on July 1st #pettravelsafetyday

And since we wrote the last article on the left, Claire has already set up her first successful franchisee! Solihull is the first place to have a Pets 2 Places pet taxi service franchise. Nicola Hughes has come from a background of childminding and swim kids instructor, and with her own menagerie of animals at home, a pet taxi is the perfect opportunity.

Nic who turned 50 last year was really excited to start the service in her own area. She said animals and I’m great with people, with my background I have a lot of experience with working with all sorts of people so this seemed the ideal opportunity for me.’

Already a success after only a few weeks, found her customers come in all shapes and sizes. ‘One lady I have helped is housebound so I take just the dogs to the vets, when the vet gave medication in a tiny syringe, the owner said she wouldn’t be able to do this as she has arthritis and can’t manage the syringe, it’s ok though I to help give the medication every day, whatever we can do to help our customers we do. It isn t really going above and beyond it’s just being a good kind person’

Whether it’s vets, groomers, kennels, over to visit friends or even on holiday; Pets 2 Places Solihull is on hand to help owners with their pets where ever they need to go.

‘I think I’ve finally found my dream job, its a pleasure to be able to help people with their pets, and the customers are so grateful, its really nice to hear how much of a difference I’m making in their life just by offering a small amount of help’

One customer said ‘I needed to get my cat to the vets in an emergency, she hasn’t been eating or drinking for almost 24 hours, I was so worried how

I would get there, but the vets gave me the number for Pets 2 Places, it was so easy to book and Nic was really nice, even carried the cat to the car for me. Sadly my cat didn’t make it but having Nic to help me, just made it a bit less stressful’

If you need a pet taxi in Solihull or the surrounding areas, give Nic a call on 07549007268 or pop over to our website

Retail Entrepreneur Theo Paphitis! being recognised as a highly coveted Small Business Sunday winner. ‘On Sunday 4th September, Claire Harris, owner of Pets 2 Places Ltd tweeted Theo about her business during ‘Small Business Sunday’ and on Monday was delighted to find she was one of the lucky weekly winners to gain a retweet by Theo to his near half a million Twitter followers.’ Congratulations Claire!

SMBN Member Pollyanna England is brainchild and founder of Nirvana Investors. We are also very proud that Pollyanna is a member of the SMBN .

Pollyanna’s work is SO valuable and a true lifeline when you are trapped into a lifetime of renting instead of paying into your own estate.

Thank you Pollyanna for the work that you do and for leading by example.

Nirvana Investors celebrated their 2nd Anniversary on 16th October 2022 and at the SMBN we are so proud of what they have managed to achieve.

My company houses vulnerable women and children so that they can have a safe home that they can purchase from the company after renting for 5 years. While they are there, they can decorate, improve and have pets.

Our Exeter family moved in to their beautiful home at the end of October and are settling in nicely, having a birthday party for her son now that she can invite friends round as she has the space and a big garden, it was a huge success!

I received the keys for our Upton property and will be getting to work on getting it habitable as it is currently in urgent need of some attention. After a complete refurb, I will be looking for a couple or a single person to move in here as it is a one bedroom apartment.

I have Estate Agents searching for a big property in Barnsley for my next project and I am very excited about this, as it will be able to house multiple families in a safe environment as well as having access to continue support and education.

Nirvana Investors has returned our first investment with interest with another being returned in December, for which I am extremely grateful for. Without my investors none of this would be possible.

It is my absolute pleasure that I received the award for Best Start Up business from the SMBN. It was very emotional and a delight to be recognised for the work I do.

Nirvana Investors | An Innovative Approach To Investment & Home Owning

In the last few issues I (Jules) have shared the calculation below on how damaging it is to be trapped into long-term rental, not only for the tenant, but for society as a whole, and the UK tax purse.

If a person needs benefits and is locked into rental property for a lifetime, benefits are needed for life, costing the economy and tax payer more, and the next generation are also less likely to secure a mortgage without the equity or stability of mum or dad. These proposals offer the greatest incentive to lifestyle claimants, as you only qualify if you meet the work requirements, I would imagine this will be circa the current MIF requirements. You reduce the need for Pension Credits, and home owners are more likely to have equity to pay for their own care.

The savings to the economy are huge, the motivation is great, and ultimately, the humanity of enabling every working person to own their own home, rather than pay the mortgage of a more privileged neighbour who has a deposit, is the greatest currency of all. Humanity. Try not to be too judgmental about those in adversity. Be a big enough person to question your own beliefs about the real barriers that exist, and who may be actually be responsible for these.

Our current Chancellor Jeremy Hunt recently confirmed that he has little interest in capping the private rental market, enabling landlords to charge high rents without consequence. This is deeply disappointing; inhumane in fact, and lives and livelihoods are clearly collateral damage.

Private renting: Rent increases GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

I thank Pollyanna for stepping up first and enabling home-ownership where society said no. She has already saved lives, and as a culture, a United Kingdom, we can save millions more...

https://www.shelter.org.uk/

Alimenti was set up following my experience of working with small food producers in my role with Sodexo, as the technical lead for the buying team. I had coached several micro and small business owners through the approval process and felt that I could make a living from doing this independently. I have a wealth of experience as a microbiologist and technical manager working in factories producing everything from bacon to ready meals. I was also commissioned to writeachapterforahandbookfor global distribution for 3M on rapid hygiene assessment technologies. If you would like a free download, get in touch for the link. My clients now range from start

ups to established food businesses that want to grow their business. They are producing ready meals, sauces and pastes, snacks, and alcohol, at all temperature ranges from frozen through chilled to ambient, as well as handling these in a warehouse. They use all sorts of packaging from bottles to cases to trays made from plastic, compostablematerialandwood.

There are allergen free products andallergenicproductsinthemix.

Some of my clients have accreditationssuchasSALSA.

I am qualified as a BRCGS lead auditor for food.

Alimenti Food Sciences getting to the core of food safety

I can help food producers with any aspect of food safety from HACCP to microbiological testing plan review. Whilst a HACCP plan, and its review is a legal requirement, testing plans are often set up and left running with no one on the organization qualified to review them. I can help with this and may even save you money on the testing required.

I am always happy to have an informal chat with food business owners who want to grow their business.

My website is www.alimenti.co.uk

Get in touch and let’s talk about what keeps you awake at 3am. Let me take the stress of food safety away and you can sleep again.

Louise Roberts

anorexia

Before you read this article, I need to say that I am not a qualified doctor or psychiatrist. Any eating disorder must be monitored by a medical professional.

But what I will say is that I am a mother who has done as much as I can to help my daughter and learned a lot on the way that can help you on a compassionate and practical level.

It all ‘started’ back in August 2021. I say ‘started’ in inverted commas because an eating disorder usually starts way before this, the unhelpful thoughts and beliefs have filtered in ages ago, perhaps years ago, but it ‘started’ in the sense that I saw the signs. We were in Portugal and my 12 year old daughter started to want to have Caesar salads for lunch and dinner. This was different to her usual preference for food variety, including ribs, roasts, ice creams and sweets.

love singing her songs, but I remember, even as a young girl, I found it so upsetting that she had died from an eating disorder and when my daughter developed one, it was as if my greatest fear came true. Once my daughter’s eating disorder was apparent, I took her to a private doctor, who was one I trusted. She was a compassionate and empathetic doctor, but I realized that she wasn’t an eating disorder specialist and came from a very clinical approach, which worried me. We had sat there in her doctor’s room and were told that my daughter had two weeks to improve or the doctor would take drastic action.

After this, we drove to Kingston to Costa Coffee. As we sat there, my daughter seemed out of it and unaware of the severity of the doctor’s visit and I looked at her and broke down in tears. We went to an art shop after this because my daughter is talented at art and this keeps her happy. I said to her that she could have what she wanted from the shop, desperate to do anything to help her. As she was walking around looking at the art supplies, I wondered if this was the last time we would do this.

I remember how stressful it was to find restaurants that served Caesar salads. Occasionally, she would have a Caesar salad as room service in the hotel and then I’d take my younger daughter somewhere to get something else. She was becoming more withdrawn and anxious. We were in the tail end of the Covid crisis and we had experienced extensive lockdowns, which hadn’t helped her mental health.

By October 2021, she was a shell of herself, BMI of 14, skeletal and almost zombie like. It was stomach churningly heartbreaking. I remember the singer Karen Carpenter from when I was a little girl. I used to love her song ‘Please Mr Postman’ and used to

As a teacher and educator, and also ironically, a newly qualified therapist and coach at the time, I was very well aware that children needed emotional support to tackle hurdles, one that I personally feel the medical industry doesn’t provide enough of, or rather, that it is very hit and miss, even with those qualified in helping children with eating disorders. In my mind, I had to do what I could as parent to help her and this is what I did. I was undertaking many other therapy courses already such as CBT and child psychotherapy but put the eating disorder ones as a priority. I trained with NCFED (eatingdisorders.org.uk) which is a top eating disorder training body. I also trained with NEDDE (www.nutriology.co.uk)

From one mother to another:

When your child develops

I found a mum who had been through the same with her daughter and joined her support group and a Facebook support group. I was very vocal and open and told many people in a desperate attempt to get as much helpful advice as possible.

I scrutinized my life, my ambitious parenting, her distant father, my mother, who has always used unhelpful language about weight and had looked after my daughter a lot while I was a teacher, and I pondered her best friend, who seemed to also have an unhealthy relationship with food.

As a parent, you need to question whether your type of parenting, although not wrong, works for the type of child you have. I completely relaxed my parenting with my daughter. I informed her school. I requested a queue jump from them as my daughter was also having limited time to get her lunch at school and was a slow eater, so this wasn’t helpful. I took the pressure off my daughter completely. When someone has an eating disorder, no one is to blame, but there can be environmental triggers. People who have eating disorders usually have a genetic predisposition to it.

Everyone has a predisposition to different disorders but it is important to also look at the environmental triggers and to make drastic changes, if necessary, because it is ultimately a case of life and death and the earlier eating disorders are treated, the higher the success rate.

approach and the words you use are going to affect your child the most rather, than the occasional visits to the doctor or psychiatrist. In fact, I’d say it is compulsory and a duty of care for every parent to do this. This is easier said than done for some parents. Due to my business success, I was able to financially invest in eating disorder courses and to become qualified, knowing as much as possible, but some people do not have this money.

However, there are many places to go for advice and lots of free resources online but I’d always advise going to the NCFED initially. It is important for parents to get support for their own mental health.

I was petrified of my daughter getting to the point of having to go to a residential clinic because I knew from my therapy training that when in there, they can learn the tricks of the trade with others about hiding food and unfortunately it is a game of in, out, in, out, in, out, even at the hospital stage.

Children are at home most of the time so it is important as parents to get trained because your

Having a child with an eating disorder, without a doubt, affects the family environment and the dynamics of the family. Other siblings may be impacted. It is important to make sure everyone is getting the support they need. I definitely had moments where my mental health suffered and thank goodness for all the support I had. Just knowing people were there, helped me in itself...

Mealtimes are tricky. Some medical professionals will advise having family meals together, although in my experience this can also affect other siblings. I coached one sibling who had a sister with an ED, who would make sure she had less at mealtimes than her sister and was very competitive. This wasn’t healthy for the other sister and she also started to develop an ED. Therefore, I would say to have dinner together or separate at mealtimes when a child is going through an ED is a personal choice.

For my daughter, separate was better. She could eat at her own pace and didn’t feel like people were watching her and also it didn’t impact her sister. With this, you do have to also make sure they are actually eating their food and not hiding it, but in a non confrontational way.

best for your child depending on their personalities and how they respond.

Children with eating disorders are going to have an eating disorder voice that comes out. This is usually the unhelpful voice and is the form of oppositional behaviour which speaks to you externally and the child internally. It is important to realise that it is just a part of your child and not them and to help them identify when they are using the eating disorder voice.

Lots of people with eating disorders find it hard to trust. So trust is very important to help your child through an eating disorder. Lots of eating disorders are about control. People feel a lack of control in other aspects of their life so they use food to feel more in control, which isn’t logical but it is their subconscious trying to find a way to fix the situation. This is why eating disorders are very common in high achieving households with lots of expectations. A child deciding to become vegetarian or vegan is a huge red flag and can be the start of an eating disorder and the motives behind it need to be looked at. Starting to miss out certain food groups can also be a red flag.

One third of people with eating disorders are on the autism spectrum. And with my daughter this also proved to be true. In the recent months she has been diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) , which can also include restrictive behaviours, like restricting food. Girls and women are very good at masking ASD and can take many years longer to get diagnosed compared to boys and men. ASD can also manifest as anxiety so it important as a parent to gauge which approach is

The eating disorder has come out to keep your child safe but in an unhelpful way and in my opinion, the more it is ignored or the more you or your child argues with it, the stronger it will become. It is important to work with it and show compassion to help to understand it and to help designate it another role, rather than the eating disorder, to help your child. We also do not have scales in our house which is a personal choice.

‘As a parent it is also important to think of your own relationship with food and the language you use around weight, what you are modelling to your child and how it may be impacting them.’

At the moment, and for about three months, my daughter has been back to eating like her usual self and she is happier and is socializing more. I am grateful every day.

I help coach parents and children so you are welcome to book with me via my website:

www.daniellebaron.co.uk

I am delighted to welcome Danielle Baron to the Single Mums Business Network!

Danielle catalyses children and adults to rise like a phoenix from the flames and to reach their optimum potential. She is an entrepreneur, inspiring 11+ and 7+ entrance exams tutor, rapid transformational therapist®, business coach for overachievers, a life coach for all, an NLP Master practitioner and she is also certified by the ILM.

One of Danielle’s much-loved abilities is being an overachiever because she thrives on the excitement and follows her passion, which is to help people live fulfilling lives. Over the last five years of her tuition business, Danielle has become extremely popular and respected in the tuition industry and is a mentor and coach to other tutors, to help them increase revenue in their businesses, but ultimately to be the best tutors they can be. Her own tuition service incorporates coaching for parents and children throughout the exam process and NLP classes for children to help them with lack of confidence, bullying, anxiety and to help them focus on the imminent goal of exams and to visualise and believe in their success.

Danielle’s second business, coaching and therapy, has been a long time coming and her personal interest in people and psychology led her to investing in the most high quality courses to be the best for her clients. For her rapid transformational therapy ®, she had the privilege of personally being mentored by Marisa Peer, world renowned therapist. Rapid transformational therapy is a combination of NLP, CBT, psychotherapy and hypnosis. It has been Danielle’s personal experiences which have led her to where she is today.

I trained as a coach in 2018, adding various modalities to my work along the way, including hypnotherapy, reiki, trauma recovery techniques and the latest addition, breathwork.

With these, I help women shift their old patterns and move on to feel happier, healthier and free to live life their own way. I offer 1:1 sessions on line and in person, as well as courses and programmes. This work helps people ensure they have rock solid foundations on which to build their lives, knowing they have the tools and inner resources to meet challenges and move forward, no matter what.

The tools and techniques I deliver to my clients have served me during some major life changing circumstances including divorce, bereavement, and facing a pandemic (in case you forgot...) as a self employed single mum. It seems that the next global challenge is knocking at the door.

Like Jules, who runs SMBN, I am absolutely passionate about how incredible single mums are, and I believe we deserve a chance to build our lives into something beautiful, rather than just trying to avoid abject poverty.

The problem is, I see a lot of single mums striving really hard to make things work without having solid foundations or emotional stability. This leads to chronic stress and burnout. Having the tools to emotionally regulate and rise to life's inevitable challenges from a place of power and dignity, helps us to extract ourselves from some of the difficulties that face us, or to relate to them differently. These tools were not taught to us at school and many of us didn't have the privilege of an upbringing where our emotions were heard, validated and allowed. Women then find themselves attempting to parent lovingly, build businesses or work diligently, build positive relationships, all without the ability to deeply connect with themselves, let alone others.

My work in the World is to normalise doing the 'inner work' that leads to us feeling genuinely happy, and being present and able to do our important work in the World, whether that's raising happy kids, building an incredible business, or both!

I would like to extend a special offer to readers of the SMBN magazine with an exclusive 20 % off my course 'The Empowered Divorce'.

This course is a brilliant starter course is you've decided to turn the tide of an acrimonious divorce, or if you're early in the process and want to start off on the right foot.

It incorporates modules focusing on your wellbeing with practical tools focussing on communication and negotiation skills, as well as introducing some truly life changing parenting concepts that will support

your kids' wellbeing and mental health while going through this upheaval.

Use the code SMBN on my course available here: https:// clairestandencoaching.thrivecart.com/theempowered-divorce/

www.studentsinmind.co.uk

Wellbeing in the Workplace and Education?

The answer is Yes!

I am Sarah, founder of Students in Mind, where we place wellbeing at the heart of the classroom.

However, a classroom doesn’t just exist in a school or college building. It can exist within all our workplaces. The environments where we are constantly learning and developing.

So, recently I took this education to Weightmans, a country wide firm of solicitors. I ran an empowering bespoke wellbeing workshop for their newly appointed interns. A workshop where the interns learned how to address limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome as well as ways to develop resilience and improve self worth.

Alongside this they improved their knowledge on the benefits of mindfulness and meditation and how to use them in their work or university environments to bring calm and stability when times seem difficult.

By engaging with one of the Students in Mind workshops, Weightmans showed themselves to be a forward-thinking employer when it comes to educating their staff.

There is so much benefit to investing in your people for the long-term; for sustainability in employment, as well as university and for future proofing the workplace.

Educating staff in the tools of wellbeing sends a message of positivity to employees and sets you ahead as proactive employers.

Furthermore, Students in Mind is working on several projects with Liverpool John Moores Universtity (LJMU). The LCR 4.0 Start programme helps to find the best ways to make sustainable wellbeing easily accessible in education.

They understand that by developing emotional resilience alongside academic achievement, potential is maximised, and success rates increased, in both education and life.

www.studentsinmind.co.uk

At Students in Mind, we believe that sustainable wellbeing is the way forward in both education as well as the working environment.

Ask yourself what staff would be attracted by proactively promoting mental wellbeing.

Ask yourself how students and teachers would feel if their wellbeing was cared for every day.

There is no downside to being educated in these tools and strategies, only growth and happiness.

Now, who doesn’t want that?

Sarah Harvey BA, MA

Students in Mind™

www.studentsinmind.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/HarmonyBusinessAcademy

WHATISMINDITATION?

It'smycoinedphraseforMindfulness&Meditation! AsyouknowIliketoblendtreatmentsandpractices inallmysessions,soforthisinpersonandonline monthlymeetupI'mbringingtheseallmyskillsto thetable!Iwillhaveaconnectioncirclewithteaor cacao,we'llflowintoaguidedselfmassageofthe face, neck, shoulders or hands, I'll teach you a mindfulness technique and then it's time to relax withaguidedmeditation.

Thisisamixedgroupforfemalesandmales,Iam opentoover11'sjoiningustoo,pleasecontactme todiscuss.

WHERE,WHEN?

• TheQueensHotel,Mercure,Bournemouth

• AndonlinewillbeviaZoom

• 3rdTuesdayofthemonth

19:30till21:00

Pleasearriveearlierifyouwouldlikedinnerordrinksat thehotel You'llalsohave10minstopackupanddepartinpeace.

WHATISINCLUDED?

Cuppa&Connection

Essentialoils

SelfMassage

Mindfulness Meditation

HOWMUCHISIT?

£25persession OR

£20permonthtojointhemonthlymembership

WHATDOESTHEMONTHLYMEMBERSHIPINCLUDE?

For£20amonthyou'llreceive:

EntrytoeverymonthlyMinditationSession

20%offJane'sretreatsorworkshops

£5off121sessionswithJane

Awelcomegift

Recordedmonthlyminditationssenttoyourmobile

HOWDOIBOOK?

Pay£25hereforaonesession https://py.pl/4ztSxRcSVmv

Subscribehereforthe£20monthly membership https://pay.gocardless.com/ AL0005PQXSJQ31

https://janescanlan.teachable.com/

EndofYearCeremonialRetreat

EARLYBIDTICKETS£55

Thisceremonialretreatisallaboutclosingdownthe yearwithlovingkindness.Alltoooftenwewantthe yeartoend,brushingunderthecarpetanytoughexperiencesandforgettingthegoodones.Thisisamomenttoheal,celebrate,concludeandfinallyclosethe yearwithloveandappreciation.

WHERE,WHEN?

TheQueensHotel,Mercure,Bournemouth

AndonlinewillbeviaZoom

Saturday17thDecember

9:00till17:00

Pleaserememberyourswimsuitsforthespaintheafternoon

WhatHappensInTheDecemberCeremonialRetreat?

EndofYearCoachingSession

End

ofYearCeremony

Coffee&CakeBreak(provided)

Massage Movement

Mindfulness

Meditation Sound

LUNCHBREAK(thehotelhassomefabulousoffersforus,seebelow)

UseofSpafacilitiestill5pm: Warmpool Jacuzzi Sauna SteamRoom

£55EarlyBirdTicketsBOOKHERE https://py.pl/KLTs4

Bonuses

BybookingthisCeremonialRetreatwecanalsoofferyou theseroomratesandlunchofferswhenyoumentionyou havebookedwithme...

17thDecemberTheQueensHotelOffer: £90.00perroombasedonsoleoccupancy £100.00perroombasedondouble/twinoccupancy Bothincludebreakfast,Wifiand withflexible2pmcancellationon theday

17thDecemberTheQueensHotel LunchOffer: £15.00pplunchmenuwitheithera wrap/sandwichorsaladanda healthysmoothie Discountedafternoonteaat£20.00 perpersonwithprosecco(usually£24.95pp)

NewDawnPurpose&IntentionRetreat

EARLYBIDTICKETS£55

ThisJanuaryworkshopisallaboutstartingtheyear withpositivity,loveandintention.Iknowasamum aftertheChristmasholidaysIrushbacktobusiness, backtoschool,backtohomeworketcetc

Butwhatiftherewasanotherway? Ifoundanewyearafewyearsagoandeveryyear mylifegetsbetter,I'dliketoshowyouhowIdoit. I'dlikeamomentofyourtimetohelpyoucelebrate, tuneintoyourpurposeandcreateintentionsforthe comingyear.Wewillbedoingalifeaudit,goal setting,tuningintowhatlightsusupandsettingfire tothatwhichholdsusback!

WHERE,WHEN?

TheQueensHotel,Mercure,Bournemouth

AndonlinewillbeviaZoom Saturday28thJanuary 9:00till17:00 Pleaserememberyourswimsuitsforthespainthe afternoon

WhatHappensInTheJanuaryWorkshopRetreat?

Learntheskillsofpurpose&intentionlifecoaching Connect,CoCreateandActivateyourintentions intotheyearaheadceremony

Coffee&CakeBreak(provided)

Massage Movement

Mindfulness Meditation Sound

LUNCHBREAK(thehotelhassomefabulousoffersforus, seebelow)

UseofSpafacilitiestill5pm: Warmpool Jacuzzi Sauna SteamRoom

BOOKYOUREARLYBIRD£55TICKETSHERE https://py.pl/zM6Bz

Bonuses

BybookingthisWorkshopRetreatwecanalsooffer youtheseroomratesandlunchofferswhenyou mentionyouhavebookedwithme...

28thJanuaryTheQueensHotelOffer: £90.00perroombasedonsoleoccupancy £100.00perroombasedondouble/twinoccupancy Bothincludebreakfast,Wifiandwithflexible2pmcancellationontheday

28thJanuaryTheQueensHotelLunchOffer: £15.00pplunchmenuwitheitherawrap/sandwichorsalad andahealthysmoothie Discountedafternoonteaat£20.00perpersonwith prosecco(usually£24.95pp)

https://www.facebook.com/CherishTransformUpgrade

MINDFULMEANDER

Monday&Friday

Southbourne

9.0010.30

Acommunitygroupfullofpeopleintotheholistic wayofliving,thingslikeyoga,meditation,seadipping,naturalandholistictherapies,growingyourown veg,usingtherefillshopsetc. EXPECTTOLAUGH

ALOT Wehavehadallagesjoinusfrombabies rightthroughto80s!!

DonationBased

Thisisadonationcommunitygroup,suggesteddonation£2persessionor£10amonth https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/JaneScanlan

THEROUTE

9.00MeetattheTOPoffisherman’swalkzigzag

9.10Meditation&MindfulnessTechniquesonfisherman’swalkbeach

9.20OptionalDip(timeincludesgettingreadybefore &after).Thosenotdippinggettoexplorethebeach andplaywiththedogsiftheysowish

9.45BriskWalktoRiva...youhave2optionshere, FASTWALKviaGordon’sZigZag(longerroute), BRISKWALKviafisherman’swalkZigzag.

Pleasechooseonethatwill workforyourleveloffitness.

Thiswillhelpyouwarmupafter theseadip,especiallyinwinter!

10.00CoffeeandChatsatRivaorbringyourownflask

.......RECAP........

MondayandFriday 9amtermtimeonly

Donationbased

MEDITATION

QUICKDIPoptional BRISKWALK COFFEEflaskorRiva ATTENTIONdipisatyourownriskandisnot acoachedsession,nooneisaswimmingcoach, lifeguard,Hoffexpertetc

WellbehavedDogswelcome Kids,buggiesandmobilityscooterswelcome #MindfulMeander

Mental Toughness and the Female Mindset

Optimizing your Confidence, Your Resilience and Your Positivity

THE KEY TO SELF AWARENESS AND THE POWER TO MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES

Over decades, having faced every kind of abuse, three disastrous marriages, serious car crashes, near death and long term illness, bankruptcy, near death from Covid/long Covid, and recently dealing with the death of my parents and my only sibling’s desire to destroy me in court over their Will, my resilience has been tested again and again.

BUT I do not see myself a victim! I share the teachings that helped me overcome these challenges they have given me my life’s purpose: “How can I help others triumph over their own life’s battles?”

So, as a resilient warrior, (such an honour to be co recipient of this year’s SMBN ‘Resilience Warrior’ award!), I commit to helping as many women as I can to achieve toughness, strength, resilience

One way in which I can do this is as a Licenced Mental Toughness Assessor. Let me tell you a little more about ‘mental toughness’…

Are you known as a ‘tough nut’ or a ‘softie’? Do you charge forth regardless, or tend to keep your head down? Whatever your inherent personality, does it serve you well? Are you confidently in control of your life, or are you frustrated and frazzled and wondering why others seem to sail through their stresses?

I’ve always been known as sensitive and compassionate a nurturer, a server, and yes, in the past a people pleaser and even doormat. It took many challenges to strengthen my toughness muscle, long before I’d even heard of ‘mental toughness’! Having developed my mental toughness, I'm so grateful to now be more able to cope with what life throws at me and probably like many of you, as SMBN members, it’s thrown rather a lot!

There is nothing wrong with being sensitive the opposite of being mentally tough is being mentally sensitive. In fact, most of us have aspects of mental toughness and mental sensitivity and there is a place for both elements and everything in between. Being a sensitive empath is a superpower in its own right as long as it doesn’t create self sacrifice to your detriment. Dictionary descriptions say:

‘To tough it out: strong and resilient during a time of difficulty.

‘Sensitive’: thoughtful and sympathetic, acutely perceptive.

What exactly is Mental Toughness?

We can define it as ‘a personality trait which determines, in some part, how individuals perform when exposed to stressors, pressure and challenge irrespective of the situation’.

The thing is, the mentally tough do have an advantage in climbing the leadership ladder, and achieve greater success in their chosen field, be it education, business or sport. So can the more mentally sensitive. It is self awareness that matters.

Research shows that female mental toughness scores rise sharply with managerial level. This doesn’t necessarily mean that female senior managers are more mentally tough than their male counterparts, it suggests that for women to progress when competing with males in organisations, they need to be more mentally tough than males to make the same degree of progress.

As a career woman, do you need to ‘be more man’? No!

www.susiemackielife.com

The language used to describe men and women leaders is, shall we say, interesting?! Men might be described as assertive, diligent, passionate, while women with the same traits are described as bossy, demanding, excitable. Hmmm!

The 21st century woman faces huge self image and self belief challenges, with external influences potentially making many feel even more mentally sensitive than they need:

• The flawless ‘perfection’ we see in the media is unattainable because it is not true!

• Yet we still feel we must aspire to it.

• Self acceptance: unreasonable expectations of ourselves who’s perfect?

• Not enough ‘me time’, putting ourselves last on the list.

• Confidence in what we DO, but lack of self worth in who we ARE as a woman.

Can I develop my mental toughness? Absolutely!

Developing mental toughness is an experiential learning process. Your MT reports suggest behaviours that a mentally tough person would adopt. In one comprehensive framework, the mental toughness concept embraces mindset, character, resilience and learned optimism.

Mental toughness is a significant factor in:

WELLBEING: MT individuals enjoy greater wellbeing and are comfortable in their own skin. BEHAVIOUR: MT individuals demonstrate more positive behaviours they tend to see opportunity where the mentally sensitive see threats.

ATTAINMENT: MT individuals typically achieve more than mentally sensitive individuals. They strive ‘to be the best they can be’, with a wide range of valuable and tangible outcomes in almost everything they do.

We can show a link with psychological safety, trust, curiosity and even diversity. Powerful stuff!

You don't need to stay stuck with low confidence and low self esteem, there are ways to move towards accepting and loving yourself and I am here to help you.

• Who you are now is not ‘it’ you are on your way to who you will become.

• Who you will become is a choice you make.

• Stop comparing yourself to others. You are YOU. That’s who you are meant to be.

• Become the best you. Make that choice. It will take time and work. But do it. You are worth it.

www.susiemackielife.com

We need to understand how and what we FEEL to become mentally strong to be aware of our thought processes, beliefs and values. Otherwise, how can we respond to our stressors and challenges with purpose and positivity?

I'm not saying that to be mentally tough we must detach ourselves from our emotions rather, we must embrace them! Then, we can master them.

Having completed a mental toughness assessment (done online, takes about 15 minutes) your feedback report is based on the four elements of Challenge, Commitment, Confidence and Control. Each of these are split into two elements as in the image below:

In essence, the benefits of understanding and implementing mental toughness include:

• Helps us to understand elements about ourselves which is fundamental to our performance and wellbeing. We can answer the ‘why...?’ questions.

• It helps to explain the link between working culture and the individual.

• Allows the ability to evaluate reliably what you are doing, with true evidence based practice for development.

• It is an enabler, which translates into personal success with greater impact.

“I was fascinated by the results and felt you delivered them beautifully. You were kind and empathic and I always felt supported. Whilst I was surprised my score was so leaning towards the mentally sensitive measure, I understand why. Thank you for providing me with more insight into myself.” Tania Jones

Award winning Advocate for Women who challenges the perceptions of society, Susie empowers women to become authentically confident in who they ARE as well as what they DO.

Susie at the Single Mums Business Network Awards 2022 Blissfully unaware she was about to walk away with the Resilient Warrior of the Year Award. Susie is a beautiful person to know, and it is an honour to have her as a member of the SMBM

The BOOK – Single Mum & 21st Century Peasant –

Breaking out of Benefits Jail, is available for pre-order now!

I have held a number of webinars to address barriers to adequate work, homes and finance, and consequential benefits. This book shares my own journey as a Single Mum and self proclaimed 21st Century Peasant, as I share information, advice and tips on how to escape the benefits trap, as I did. It is not linear. I thought it was, before I knew. I thought it was black and white, you simply get a job. If you are reading this; the chances are you already know what a battle it is, not to need support, when there are barriers and sharks at play.

But trust me, it can be done! I am a single mum, my daughter is ten, benefits are behind me, and I enjoy paying tax again instead of needing to continue to claim it back. I wasn’t privileged at all, I didn’t have the bank of mum and dad or free or cheap lodgings to help me get on my feet, the banks refused to help as soon as I was in hardship, and the sharks fed from my wounds, enjoying profiting from my desperation. Landlords rejected me and friends and family were too fearful to act as guarantors. Between the banks, the landlords, the 9 5 presenteeism, and cheap unhealthy diet I bled hard, I cried hard, and I didn’t want to carry on at all, but we do, for our children, and my daughter was my guiding light back to peace, pride, purpose and disposable income!

What I share with you is not a get rich quick scheme, it is not a high ticket trick to feed from your hunger, this is sharing what I have learned in a decade, what I wished somebody had told me in my first week of being a single mum, it is intended to save you from wasting too much time and to guide you to do everything you can to help yourself in a positive way.

The purpose of this book is to have a positive impact, and to support the work of the SMBN, which is a business network with a social conscience, full of women contributing to not only helping themselves, but helping each other, and helping our wider community.

The book release date is 12th December 2022. The intention, to ‘break free in 2023’. You can pre-order it now..

I initially set up in business, in 2017, as a virtual assistant and juggled the business with being a single parent, carer, dog walker and full time employment within the health and social care sector.

Things for me started to change in 2016 when I was asked to complete the NHS IG toolkit and support data protection compliance in my employed role. In 2020, I began to focus on data protection training and qualifications, gaining the PECB Certified Data Protection Officer qualification. This was the start of my moving away from being a VA to consulting, giving small businesses advice on compliance and data protection.

In early 2022, things in my employed world were changing, and I was put under formal consultation and at a crossroads. One route was to stay employed and do a LOT more travel or take redundancy and take the plunge to go fully self employed. My mum was my backup, especially with childcare for my son, so I no longer had that in place after her death in 2019. The change in role meant travelling and more extended hours were not realistic with a school age child. So, no matter how scary the thought, rebranding and going self employed seemed logical. So, in July 2022, Michelle Molyneux Business Consulting was born.

I find what we do exciting; I am aware it is not the most interesting of areas, and that is also why people look to outsource data protection and compliance. It is one area that can be dry, boring and, as one client put it a cure for insomnia.

We love supporting our clients in different ways.

•

Power hour

Clients use the hour either in 1 chunk to discuss and create an action plan around one area, like subject access requests, or in chunks of 15 mins as and when they have those questions that have a quick answer to, e.g. can I add people I have met at networking to my email marketing list?

•

Health check

We complete a health check on their data protection compliance tailored to the size of their business. We know that a micro business will not need the complex audit and assessment a large organisation does.

From the initial assessments, we create a full report and step by step action plan that will enable them to become compliant.

•

Projects

Whether it is writing one policy, implementing data protection or putting in place other fundamental processes and procedures for our clients, we are here to help. We work with them to create bespoke documentation that is easy to follow and implement.

• Remote Data Protection Officer / Privacy managers

For any business with a legal requirement to have a DPO, but doesn’t have the resources internally or for any organisation that wants that ongoing data protection/privacy support. We support businesses, and charities with all the day to day management, from implementation and monitoring to being the central point of contact for all queries and incidents. Clients are relieved to know they have someone with the depth of knowledge to manage it.

•

Training

Whether it be an introduction to data protection, manager level training or record management, we can create a training package to suit you. Training can be done virtually, eLearning, and we can do it on site, depending on location. I have quite an analytical way of thinking and can systematically see processes, which helps when I support clients in putting processes in place.

What II find important is that the policies, procedures and processes are written in an easy to understand way, using everyday language.

I am passionate about data protection, quality assurance and compliance. I love what I do, and my clients are relieved to know there is someone to manage this for them.

If systems, processes or data protection make you groan or run to do everything else on your to do list, why not call me?

Owner Michelle Molyneux Consulting

Phone: 07906 849167

Email: michelle@michelle-molyneux.co.uk Website: www.michelle-molyneux.co.uk

m Michelle Molyneux, founder of Michelle Molyneux Consulting.

Our mission is to support businesses to be data savvy.

‘Friend of the SMBN’, Caron Kipping

Divorce & Separation Coach

Caron is a Divorce Coach specialising in supporting people in abusive and controlling relationships or dealing with post-separational abuse.

Caron supports women (yes, and men) with many issues such as recognising abusive behaviour, conflict around child contact, Family Court issues, and financial abuse. Caron also offers guidance to help you move on – dating after abusive relationships, rebuilding confidence and setting goals for the future.

Caron is happily re married (the proof there is life afterwards!) and works part time as an accredited Divorce Coach and part-time at The Dash Charity domestic abuse charity where she has worked for many years as a domestic abuse specialist (or Independent Domestic Violence Advocate if you want the long version) and has worked there in several roles over the years, supporting survivors in high risk abusive relationships and educating professionals on how to respond better.

Caron is passionate about raising awareness and is often found on a podcast or being interviewed to offer her viewpoint or advice on abusive relationships.

Please visit Caron’s lovely website and read more here: https://caronkippingcoaching.com/

The Single Mums Business Magazine was created to compliment the Single Mums BusinessNetworkbyofferingmembersa

platform to use their voices, to increase their opportunities to be seen and heard, as well as to help them gain exposuretotheirbusinesses. HereSMBN Member Carly Newman shares her thoughts, and how she hopes to be a positivecontributorforchange.

What does it mean to be a single mum today and how can we best navigate our way through it?

I’m Carly, single Mum to Ezra. I work in a leadership role in my day job but like many of you craved more flexibility, freedom, balance and earning potential that wasn’t at the expense of my family. So during the pandemic, I used the time to figure out what I really wanted and embarked on a coaching certification and training and started my own business. Since then I have been balancing full time work, running a coaching business, studying, and being a single parent. I also campaign and frequently speak to media about how things such as the cost of living crisis, cuts to Universal Credit, cost of childcare can disproportionately impact single parents.

you were left behind, you're sort of missed off, forgotten or you're just overlooked a lot of the time. We are very much not in this together “

I have always felt strongly about the amount of pressures and expectations put on us as women and as mothers and significantly for, single mothers.

So my passion and focus is finding ways in which we can realistically reduce the pressures and expectations put on us by others and by ourselves. I spend a long time thinking about how we can better manage the load and balance of everything more effectively and how can we live without so much stress and overwhelm as Mums.

However I think an important part of this is helping us to understand that the problem doesn’t all lie with us as individuals and the work cannot all fall to us as single mums when there are so many external things at play.

What we are experiencing is real for so many, the juggle is real, the pressure, the expectations are real, and significantly, the systems we live in that seek to oppress and benefit from doing so are very much real. The systems that are there keeping us buried, keeping us small, keeping us burnt out, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, guilty and not feeling good enough because it benefits them to do so.

Earlier this year I was invited to give a speech at the House of Commons, the event was put on by the charity Gingerbread which supports and campaigns for single parents.

In a world that is always telling us we need to be doing it all, do more, work harder and if we don’t then ultimately its our fault, we are doing something wrong how do we as single parents navigate our way through all of this as well as raise our children alone, work, run businesses and stay sane?

My speech focused on my experience as a single parent throughout the pandemic as well as coming out of the pandemic and the impacts of the cost of living crisis on many of us.

“But one of the similar feelings that came up throughout and continues to, is this feeling as a single parent that

If we take on all the responsibilities and try to do it all, we set ourselves up to fail, to not feel good enough, to give up, to make unsustainable choices. We also ignore and dismiss the huge things going on around us that exist and make this so difficult for so many people. We ignore inequality, poverty, racism, mental health, capitalism and the patriarchy to name a few.

When we take responsibility for things and choose accountability it can be extremely empowering, it can be a catalyst for really important change because it puts you in control. Responsibility and accountability play a very important part in this but I believe change comes from collective responsibility and I want you to bare this in mind when you are doing the work, trying to make changes, trying to improve things, when you're burning out trying to do the work to make things better.

But if we take on all the responsibilities and try to do it all, we can set ourselves up to fail, to not feel good enough, to give up, to make unsustainable choices. We also ignore and dismiss the huge things going on around us that exist and make this so difficult for so many people. We ignore inequality, poverty, racism, mental health, capitalism and the patriarchy to name a few.

that disproportionately affect single parents. But with the knowing that collectively we can create meaningful changes one step at a time in our own wonderful ways, whatever that looks like.

With all that said, I don’t want us to feel powerless (we are powerhouses) because we absolutely can create change, change for ourselves and change for others.

Through my coaching work, campaigning, media work and community on social media I am thinking about, talking about, and sharing how we can better gain more confidence and knowledge to do the things we need to, to reduce overwhelm, stress and pressure that we experience as Mums in order to live in ways we really want to.

I’m always thinking about how I can support myself as well as others to take responsibility where we can and where we want to but with enough awareness and compassion for ourselves when it comes to the things we can’t do, we can’t control, can’t change. Accepting the things that are far bigger than us that are real and still going to present us with daily challenges. And I invite you to consider this could mean for you.

Cary’s full speech via Gingerbread can be found here: 'Everything is double and yet we end up with half' Carly's single parent story Gingerbread

You can connect with Carly on FB here: MumPowerment | Facebook

And on Instagram here: Carly Newman (@carlynewmanhere) You can visit Carly’s website here: Coaching For Single Mums | Carly Newman Coaching

I continue to campaign about the cost of living crisis, issues with universal credit, housing and other issues

Single mums business network

-members voices

People only see your mask; standing in a packed room, smiling, laughing, being outrageous and surrounded by people. They think you are so confident and have so much in life. And maybe you do: You may have the career, kids, the house, marriage...all the things that society and the status quo has told you that you should have to be happy and successful.

Physically, you are RIGHT there ……….. but emotionally, you feel a despairing emptiness and loneliness, just wanting to escape your mind and feeling trapped inside your own head.

You feel numb, fake and like you don’t really deserve any of this.

If they really knew, they'd think you're mad

So you throw yourself into tasks, try every fad from the gym, to getting dressed up, getting out there and putting positive affirmations all around the bloody house. But eventually that motivation burns off and here you are again in your pit of loneliness with nothing but the latest Netflix binge, feeling like a failure, broken, just not good enough, feeling like maybe nothing will ever really make you happy.

You want to feel connected, to really be able to love properly. You want motivation and confidence that lasts and doesn’t burn you out. And mostly, you just want to feel happy. To be able to enjoy life and the people around you.

You are not broken or irreparable

I was deemed a success to my friends and family and checked off every box of what a successful woman should have done by my age: I'd moved away, got the degree, house, marriage, kid and even the high flying job. To the outside world, I was unstoppable. I was constantly in work and in a £40k a year job, managing others and

supporting others through trauma and abuse.

I got outstanding recognition from external agencies as well as my own colleagues and managers.

But in reality, I felt like a ship about to hit an iceberg, ploughing through every day hiding behind a fake smile and sense of humour to keep people from realising that I felt like an imposter. I felt alone even in the fullest of

rooms, like a massive failure about to be caught out. I battled with my weight, my mind, and with anyone who said they loved me, cause what was there to love?

In 2015, My marriage broke down and I was thrown into the world of a single parent.

It was becoming a single mum that broke me, but also made me

I was suddenly looked at differently; I remember being asked by a friend if I was going to dye my hair blonde and start drinking Lambrini out the bottle with a puffa jacket on (referencing TV’s popular Single Mum characters of Vikki Pollard or Bianca Jackson). I got a warning from work after a 10 year clean record as I struggled with childcare and balancing everything suddenly on my own.

In April 2016, my 29 years of battling finally came to a head as I contemplated ending my life. I’d been talking to a counsellor and on the anti depressants from the GP for months now

What’s the point of being successful if it constantly feels like a lie?

I finally realised that the biggest and most dangerous bad habit I had wasn't drink or work or anything external, it was my mind.

What ensued was several years of getting real with myself and aware of all the thoughts that kept leading back to the same place. I left my £40k a year job and took an £18k one with more flexibility, so that I could be a mum as well as retrain in something I believed would genuinely help others.

In my time of working with children and teenagers, my main undeniable strength was always being able to find a bespoke plan for each child, which is how I quickly progressed into management and creating my own in house training programmes My approach with people was always my strength, and I could easily combine different methods to find something that worked for each individual. This is what I do in my coaching work now.

We explore how the mind works to understand why those thoughts are there and pinpoint where they have come from, so that we can challenge them and get back in control of your mind and life. You can get in control of the thoughts in your head, be confident, and then get motivation that is consistent because you aren't trapped by thoughts that you can't anymore.

One Size Does Not Fit All!

After working in Residential Care for over 10 years, using typical counselling skills, therapeutic and psychological skills, I realised that one size does not fit all, and this is why the Social Care and Health systems in this country had so often failed people; Everyone is squeezed into this tiny square mould, and if you don’t fit, then you are broken, unfixable, a ‘problem’. We are told to either take pills, have counselling, or are just left as broken and to feel irreparable. Generic counselling and medication does work for SOME of the population, but we need to realise that it doesn’t for all and start investing in other alternative and proven approaches so that there is more help being offered to the public, and less

people feeling that the only way out is suicide.

As a society, we accept that people have different tastes in music, food, preferences in partners and respond to these different stimuli in varying ways, and so why do we think that one limited and dated method/approach will work for everyone who is struggling?

If I could change one thing, it would be to make our GP surgeries more like a community hub for Health and Social Care, whereby all local services are promoted and offered whether it is coaching, a gym membership, reflexology, nutritionists for allergies, etc. We browse shops, hair styles, cars, fitness classes, and so we should be supported to try out different methods when it comes to our mental health. I believe that this would not only save the NHS and tax payers money by reducing the amount currently paid out in Sick Pay, but it would also mean for happier and more balanced people and better overall wellbeing in our workforce, children and adults, which ultimately leads to less suicides and people leaving loved ones because they just didn’t know where else to turn.

Find out more at www.hiyascoaching.com

A bit about me

My name is Genny Jones and I am an accountant who can train you to understand the basics of bookkeeping and Accounts so that you can be able to confidently manage your business finances and be confident when you communicate with your accountant or other interested parties. With over 25 years of working in the profession with various accounting firms, businesses, charities and individuals, I have developed my services based on the needs which have identified and from the services I have provided over the years.

How I can help you

Review of your current bookkeeping systems

Coach you to be confident in understanding the journey from when you buy or sell something to the end products of your profit and loss and balance sheet.

Help you to recruit, support or supervise your bookkeeper.

Training courses via zoom or in person:

Basics of taxation for self employed and businesses

Prepare sales projections and cashflow forecasts.

Pricing of your products or services

Understand your Profit and Loss and Balance sheet

Website: www.gennyjonestraining.com Email: infor@gennyjonestraining.com Mobile: 07490830038 Instagram @gennyjonestraining Twitter @gennyjones

Genny Jones

Happiness and Wellbeing Consultant

I have been working in the accounting profession for 25 years in various roles. Over the years I have overcome a period of work burn out, depression and low self esteem to developing my own unique happiness and wellbeing sessions aimed at businesses to help employees manage their stress levels so that they can be more productive.

I work to help people not to take themselves too seriously by having time for fun and laughter. I specialise in using laughter and humour to help people cope with everyday issues. My services and sessions are very practical and I share the techniques which have helped me , as well as those learned from others through my continued training.

My services

Practical Happiness Tool Box with items to help maintain happiness

One to one happiness and wellbeing coaching

Energiser at your event 15 minutes to get your audience smiling and feel good as demonstrated during my appearance on Britain’s Got Talent

Escape to Happiness Island Sessions:

Over the years I have developed this my unique sessions which can be for an hour or half a day and can also be used for team building and employee engagement. I had the pleasure of demonstrating some of my techniques when I appeared on Britain’s Got Talent and even got yeses from the 3 judges and also got listed in the Independent on Sunday happy list 100 of people who go out of their way to share joy with others

The sessions are fun packed, interactive and can include:

Assessing your current happiness level

Tips on being happier

Visualisation

Laughter Yoga

Singing and Dancing

Arts and Craft

Benefits of the session

-

At the end of the session participants will:

Have better understanding of the need to have time for fun

Feel good

Be more productive

Have a positive outlook to life

Take with them a simple booklet with practical tips to cope with everyday life

Happiness and Wellbeing Toolbox

It’s amazing how quickly things can change isn’t it! For 23 years I had been a PE teacher at an inner city high school in Newcastle Upon Tyne. I had worked at the same school all that time. I got married, had two fantastic kids and got divorced, all whilst working there!

Back in 2018 a colleague sent an email to all staff saying he was leaving teaching and was now a qualified Will Writer. My mum had been going on at me to get my Will in place, worried that my ex husband would potentially benefit from my estate!

So, I replied to the email asking if I could get an appointment booked in. That’s when I realised this sounded like a great opportunity and something I could work around my kids (then 8 and 11) and my school work!

The Will Guys agreed to take me on and train me up! I realised very quickly that this was my dream job, I loved it! It was such a good feeling knowing I was helping people make sure they were protecting their lovedones.

Then the pandemic hit. At this point in 2020 I was still a full time teacher and part time Will Writer. I decided to develop my knowledge further and signed up to do the ‘Estate Planning’ qualification. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but, 3 tough exams later and 2 months down the road and I passed it! At around the same time I was called in for a meeting with my headteacher. They told me they wanted me to become Head of Sixth Form but wouldn’t get any more money or time to do this! This was a chance to get out!

This was just the push I needed and I made a life changing decision that I would ask for a financial settlement, leave teaching and go full time with The

Will Guys! I am a great believer in things happening for a reason and I was delighted when they offered me redundancy instead. Best decision I have ever made!

I quickly became qualified in ‘Protection’ too so trained all through the summer to be able to advise clients on life insurance, critical illness cover, family income benefit, income protection and building and contents insurance. I absolutely love this too. I take great pride in making sure my clients understand their options and more importantly understand the products.

I guess this is the teacher coming out in me. There is such a gap in people’s knowledge of all this, as people just think they are trying to be sold something. But actually, if you think about it, these products are here to protect you and your family if you aren’t able to work or sadly pass away.

One thing the pandemic has taught us is that we don’t know what is round the corner and that anything can happen in a blink of an eye.

I feel very blessed and grateful for the job I am doing now. It’s the best feeling ever knowing that I am making a difference and helping others.

AboutELY

The Charity was set up in memory of Emma Louise Young (E.L.Y.). Emma tragically lost her life in a road traffic collision. She was just 23 and our only daughter. We set up the fund in March 2011 with the objective to relieve financial hardship for families within the County if their son or daughter, between the age of 17 to 25, is tragically killed in a road traffic collision.

We provide a condolence gift to contribute towards the funeral costs so a family can mourn and arrange their child’s funeral without the added stress and financial burden. We also provide help and support through other groups, such as looking into life insurance, will writing and emotional support for victims of road traffic collisions. Our other objective is to support young people across the county to become safer drivers, educating them in road safety to help reduce road collisions involving young drivers.

Fiona Scott, of SCOTT MEDIA

I have been networking for several years and it is my networking journey that inspired and continues to inspire the SMBN, from not being able to attend 7am meetings, from joining networks who focussed on me promoting them and not vice versa, to not affording professional PR guru’s like Fiona.

I connected with Fiona in the early days of KIH Products, but I just couldn’t afford her professional skills, and so that is why I try and help my ladies in this way. We all need PR for sales. As soon as I turned a corner with KIH Bed sales and decided to help other single mums I didn’t even have to think about where to go I went straight to Fiona, who I had observed for years. She worked with me in the first year, she was always very clear about how she would get our name out there, what my realistic expectations should be, time scales, and she taught me a lot about what I needed to do. I valued her expertise and respected her fees, and she was right.

We now have a great relationship with the press, I am often contacted by radio and mainstream national press, I am often contacted directly and I post in our closed members group asking members to submit their stories. The SMBN is the go to for single parent stories and PR, and that is because Fiona worked hard to help me get on their radar in the beginning. In the last 12 months not only have we been in national press, we have also featured on BBC Radio in several counties, on ITV news, BBC news, Channel 5, and more.. and that is snowballing.

I was delighted when Fiona decided later to join as a friend of the SMBN. For somebody who I have admired for so long to then demonstrate that they have enough faith in what I am doing to join as a friend well, actions speak louder than words don’t they! you can join as a friend by the way regardless of sex or status, essentially friends are not in the closed member group (single mum chat) but they do enjoy year round exposure in the mags, which is the cheapest in print exposure going like this one.

You are very lucky now! Things have moved on from when I started out! You have mediums like me helping you with exposure and you have so many affordable offerings such as Fiona’s.

You have to choose business expenditure over wine expenditure, and you have to respect those who work so hard to help you on your journey.

You can visit Fiona’s main website here: https://scottmedia.uk/ and trust me when I say she knows her profession

So with gratitude, love, and hopefully some sound advice! Jules x

I’m Jules, and I founded the Single Mums Business Network in 2019. I had faced ridiculous barriers to market and grow my product, the KIH Bed. I was frustrated with the barriers to secure employment, in line with my skillet and salary scale, that would sync with available childcare, and I was painfully aware of how negatively I was now perceived by a society who had previously treated me as an equal, when I was married, a homeowner, with a functional credit score and normally engaging with others in a professional manner. I was now rejected by landlords; friends and family were too fearful to be a guarantor to help me find a steady home and I had to move at least once a year with my child. It was hell, and there was not a single penny disposable income to help myself. Despite my best efforts in employment, self employment, and business. I turned a corner when I ran a £5 FB campaign for part time legal work; benefitted from responsible finance to market my KIH bed to the correct audience, and swallowed my pride in that I would have to find a non capitalist social landlord, who would give us some security for reasonable rent. But that all took years, and near loss of life, whilst sustaining further trauma by loan sharks, bailiffs and banks.

I was mildly trying to raise awareness of how some affordable PR would have helped me years earlier, but then when my own best friend of over 30 years accused me of not wanting to put food on the table, I realised how misunderstood I, and thousands like me, actually were. If the person closest to you, in knowledge of your strong work ethic and life long generosity questions you, you have your work cut out explaining it to a stranger who has never been a single parent. There is a serious problem with society sentencing us to low paid work, and then judging us when we cannot afford childcare and fuel in advance, and living in destitution until for your first pay day

I learned the heard way that when I called the tax credit office chuffed to bits that I had a job one year; my payments were ceased immediately so that they could recalculate once I was paid. I broke down before the 2nd week of my wonderful new job, and was fired as a potential liability when they learned of my destitution. The irony, I would not have been destitute if I were a thief.

And so, as I am acutely aware of the pains of single mothers like me (single fathers are more likely to be met with sympathy than stigma and accusations of lifestyle choice), I will continue to work until we can stop single mums feeling as though they are worthless peasants. At least now I know that in evidence, my daughter will always know, that I have always done everything I can, to put food on table.

Equally as each Christmas I struggled, I was advised to start putting money away, ‘even just £5 per week’. It is SO hard to explain negative income to those who have never experienced it. You just can’t put a single penny aside let alone £1, when every week you are juggling the basic living costs to scrimp £20 or £30 to shop for cheap unhealthy food, fuelling depression and obesity, and further judgement from those who look on and truly believe, that it you who are to blame. The Help to Save scheme really demonstrates this lack of understanding; there is a deep rooted belief that it is poor money management, and complete lack of comprehension of negative income.

I knew what I was fighting for, a proud tax payer for 20 years I just wanted to continue paying in, not drawing out, and, eventually I did. Through a combination of flexible skilled work, business and a secure home. Society were pushing me to need benefits for another decade. But alas, I pay tax, I am happy, my daughter is happy, and I do not accept judgmental people as friends.

It was never really me benefitting from benefits, it was the capitalist landlord and the presentism minimum wage employer, I was just the medium who had to claim for their gain.

MEMBERSHIP

You can join the SMBN as a member if you are a Single Mum in employment, business or an unemployed single mum wanting to be surrounded by positive information and advice around business or work, and you can join as a friend, if you are married or male! but, we have strict rules against MLM recruiting, so if you join and are targeted for MLM, or gambling investments, that person will be removed. It is a safe space to support you on your ‘own’ business or work journey.

As a private member of the Single Mums Business Network, here are just some of the great benefits you will receive:

Exclusive discounts for participating members and friends products and services

Vibrant social events that bring members, friends, and sponsors together such as summer party and winter ball / awards (all family friendly!)

Access to immediate wellbeing advice and professional advice via Inclusion in the Employee Assistance Programme by PAM Assist, because we care about our members

Support with personal and professional development with monthly national zoom meetings and 1 1’s

Inclusion in the quarterly Single Mums Business Magazine and on website

Invitation to complete a 12 week business planning, accountability and growth – personal and professional development course with smbn certification that you are ready to thrive in life and business

You will be actively demonstrating that you are supporting our positive social impact mission whilst supporting other single mums in business as it is not only you who benefits from your membership

Branded SMBN t shirt following 6 months successful membership

Benefit from the SMBN’s good external relationships with stakeholders

You will be investing in your commitment to succeed in financial health and autonomy

All you need to do is make a nominal commitment of £10pcm, or £2.50 per week

I am Nehaya; Mum, Fitness Instructor, Wellness Coach and now SMBN Partner, with a focus on Members' Wellbeing and Engagement.

my experience and expertise in these areas were, I had no clue on marketing, advertising or what a Business Plan was! It was then whilst networking that I discovered how the words "mum" and "divorced" were toxic in business, being tarnished with the stigma of being lazy, unreliable or wanting a handout. After being in £40k jobs and the top, this was a new low. So when I met Julie and the SMBN, it was a breath of fresh air to be with people who got me.

Supporting others has always come naturally to me whether in my professional or personal life, and so I jumped at the chance to be more invested in the SMBN: I am hopeful that the three of us can make a difference not just for all the single parents, but also for the children being raised facing that same stigma and struggle, which so many are still oblivious to.

I became self employed so that I could develop an individual centred bespoke support package for people struggling with low self worth and motivation: I had seen how the care sector had let down so many families and children by constantly using the same "one size fits all" solution, instead of working with the person's styles and interests to create a more realistic programme and therefore gain better outcomes. I quickly learnt that as great as

I am hoping that my role will allow all of the members to feel safe and supported no matter what is going on. Whether it is an emotional or physical battle, we are here to fight it together and not feel alone anymore. My virtual door is always open, waiting with either a hug, a joke, or just a listening ear.

https://www.fab va.co.uk/about

https://esthernagle.com/

https://nirvanainvestors.com/

https://linktr.ee/susiemackie

https://www.facebook.com/BossMum2BossMum/

https://www.facebook.com/auroratreatments

https:// singlemumsbusinessnetwork.com/2022/08/14/ welcome new member rachael namiiro founder of billdup use bill payments to improve your credit score to the smbn/

Clothing And Fashion Shows | Teri Chance Boutiques

Intro to me

As well as spending the past 10 years slowly building* the off grid eco retreat venue that I call home, *literally building with my own hands and those of my many helpers), I’ve worked for 20 years in a few roles within health and wellness, (including a few years where that took a back seat, and though I still did massage, I fitted it in at, or worked it around, the events and festivals which became my “day job”. But for even longer I’ve been a mum to two (now grown up) girls. I had my kids young so never really knew adult life without them.

Although they are now adults that hasn’t meant the problems and challenges have stopped. In fact for a few difficult years they seemed to get bigger than ever before and I longed to return to those hazy childhood days. I have always considered parenthood as the most important, and by far the hardest, job I have done.

And my work

In my wellbeing journey so far I have worked as a massage and body work therapist, a yoga and Pilates teacher, a healthy plant based chef, and a more recently; incorporating elements of all of that, as a health & wellbeing coach.

Although I have in the past, worked with many men and still do occasionally, I now find myself mostly focused on mid life mothers. Particularly lone single mothers or those in abusive relationships, as the challenges we face can are different to those with more support, and I fully empathise and understand these particular challenges.

As parents or carers, we often tend to put our own needs last. With the best intentions, life often gets in the way, we are well trained in putting others needs first.

We need to learn to put our own wellbeing at the top of our To-Do lists.

Because what happens if you don’t?

I help exhausted, overwhelmed parents find the time for selfcare, to fit in fitness, sleep better & eat better, because I learnt the hard way, what happens if you don’t.

12 years ago, I didn’t know the physical dangers of chronic stress. I had survived all the s*i* life had thrown at me, as well as all the self-inflicted, burning of that proverbial 2 ended candle.

I didn’t take proper care of me. Like most folk, I didn’t realise how important it was.

I thought I was indestructible. The truth was very different. A combination of years of working crazy hours with little sleep at festivals; combined with first with being a young lone mum, then in an abusive relationship, had left me chronically stressed, & far more physically damaged than I realised.

I ignored my body’s cries for rest. If I was tired, I fuelled myself on coffee. I continued to push myself. I had something to prove to the world.

Jan 2010. I qualified as a Personal Trainer. The next day I collapsed with severe “burn out” for me that meant, multiple debilitating allergies, (Including being allergic to my own sweat which made all the skin on my face fall off) and chronic fatigue.

I couldn’t work. I could barely get out of bed for 3 months

I spent my sofa months learning how to heal & how to prevent this happening again.

I do not want to go back there, and I want to prevent you from ever have to go through the anguish of not having the energy to get out of bed to take care of your kids, to go to work, or even just have a nice time out with friends.

My burn out was severe, and took years to recover from.

Is it time to value yourself enough to make your health &wellbeing a priority?

I love motivating and enabling people to become healthier & happier

As well as in person Wellness retreats and glamping breaks here on my magical mountain in Spain** I also offer a range of services online.

Weekly group classes ( Slow Calming Yoga, and Positive Pilates, (pets welcome!) as well as 1to1 sessions, (these are stand alone classes or part of an affordable Wellness membership) I am developing some specialist courses and self care sessions such as Menopause support, Guided Massage and Fascial Release .

Home Sierra Nature (wellnessandwilderness.com)

the skin care industry and have been a massage/beauty therapist for over 20 years. I specialise in treating the skin from the inside out, skin health and well beingaremypassion.

I offer bespoke facials to treat each individuals skin concern, using state of the art technology like CACI non surgical machine and Environ’s DF machine. The facials are from 30 minutes to 2 hours long. Most include a complimentary treatment of your choice, a scalp massage, a foot scrub and massage or a minimanicure allowingsometimefor helptowardsfeelingrelaxed.

I believe it’s important to take time out for ourselves from our busy schedules, when you feel your best, you look your besttoo!

As my salon is called Aurora Beauty, inside and out, I offer skin specific supplements too, Jane Iredale cruelty free mineral make up, to treat your skin wholistically, along with a thorough consultation to look at lifestyle and how we can work together to achieve the bestresultsforyourskin.

Now recently becoming a SMBN member, I’m very inspired by other members stories and achievements and am so grateful to have been told about this group and be motivated by their support and efforts, wish I’d have found SMBN earlier! I’ll be sure to spread the word! One day I’d love to open a school teaching facials andmassage.

Laura,AuroraBeauty 07988805482

FriendoftheSMBNCarolMcIntyre

FounderofExecProVA

It is always lovely to welcome a new member or new friend to the SMBN, but it’ s something extra special when a member has a break then re joins, or renews their membership. It’s a real pleasure to extend a warm second welcome to Carol McIntyre, after her confirmation of renewal of being part of what we are so proud to be. A force for good.

WhychooseCarol?

‘Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I’m one of the most compassionate, caring people you will ever meet. Me and the team are passionate about helping our clients thrive in whatever business they do. I’ve always prided myself on being super efficient with a ‘can do’ attitude and nothing is too much trouble. My clients know, all they need do is ask. I’ve managed offices for large corporations and had a successful EA career as well as mentoring teams of PA’s. I now run my own successful business and have an awesome team who work with me. We are all motivated because we value each others skills. It’s not all about work though, we have a lot of giggles along the way which makes us fun to work with. We understand the importance of giving fantastic customer service and our vast experience lets us know which systems and processes really work for you. Equally important, we are reliable, honest, flexible and fit in with our clients’ needs and everything we do is treated with the highest integrity and confidentiality.’

Exec Pro VA Virtual Assistants (exec pro va.com)

SMBNMember–MichelleForster

Founderof TricordSolutionsHR

I am delighted to welcome Michelle Forster, Founder of Tricord Solutions HR, to the Single Mums Business Network. Here is what Michelle says: I am a single mum with three teenage children and I decided about 18 months ago, after losing my job at the beginning of the pandemic, to take the plunge and start my own HR Consultancy Business with the likes of Laura Callahan cheering me on.

The first 6 months were non existent and then suddenly business took off and I haven’t looked back since, but I need the support of single fellow business mums who can stand alongside with to keep me going and for us to rally alongside each other and cheer each other on when the going get tough. So if you have a HR itch that I can scratch, contact Tricord Solutions for help!

Michelle Forster | LinkedIn

Michelle is certainly in the right place! We celebrate ourselves as hard working women at the SMBN who have a real ‘can do’ attitude and we cheer each other on in the most positive way to succeed despite owning a status that still carries a lot of stigma and sadly often shame. We all get it, but we don’t need to focus on it, we’re in a safe shared space where we just don’t need to explain why we can’t go to that 7am breakfast business networking meeting or that charity event tomorrow night. We are primary carers, using our skills and abilities to make work work and we have each others backs. Come on in!

FEEDBACK

Julie works tirelessly to support and connect single mums in business. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and if there’s a way to get something done, she’ll find it.

As a single parent, I have found this group very inspiring and useful. We all encourage and support each other . “Julie Hawkins just want to say thank you very much for this mornings SMBN Members Only Weekly Open House Meet up. I really treasure these sessions, and today I had an amazing light bulb moment. At a time when I am trying to develop my business, thanks you for helping me see clarity. I am now working on your wonderful suggestions and tips.” I recommend the SMBN because I have benefitted a great deal since I became a member and know many others who have also benefitted.

Genny Jones https://www.gennyjonestraining.com/

Absolutely love being part of this Network and their meet ups. Such an inspiring, positive and wonderful bunch of women. Julie is amazing for setting this up and is always petitioning for the best for all women, mums and parents xxx Nehaya Zitawi https://www.hiyashealing.com/

Julie works tirelessly to support and connect Single Mums Business Network. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and if there’s a way to get something done, she’ll find it.

Kirsty Tyler https://www.wyefieldwm.co.uk/kirsty.html

I am really grateful for this award I have wine and absolutely so blessed to be a part of Single Mums business network and also honoured to be a county coordinator for Surrey. Thank you to the founder Julie Hawkins for your heart and passion and all you give back to us Single Mums in Business.

Lidia Peto Holistic Fitness and Coaching

Absolutely can not thank this network enough, its more than networking and more than business!! Today I find myself totally overwhelmed by the support from Julie in helping my family.

Kirstie

I am so grateful to have found the Single Mums Business Network. They have been an immense support through my transition to full-time business owner. Julie Hawkins the founder is so passionate, encouraging and supportive, I honestly would not be doing what I am doing today if it wasn’t for her and the lovely ladies in SMBN.

Shannon Andrews The Hand Lettering Studio

Finally posting pics from our 11th Anniversary from a few weeks ago! What a lovely time we had.

Over 11 years we have hosted 100s of meets, face to face such as day trips and over the pandemic we added zoom to the mix and continue with both. From dancing everyday (during covid), to a cocktail night to Q&As with Experts and answering member queries. We've done it all! Here's to many more.

‘sic utere tuo ut alienum non laedas’

Literally translated you could argue that this relates to property matters, but, for me it means that we should not cause others harm in order to gain what we want, we must live and work with clean hands, be ethical and help each other, and we must not extinguish another persons light to make ours shine brighter.

In the next few pages you will hear from other single parent organisations who are either members, friends, or who participated in the #singleparentday event last year. As I, and many more, have been refused exposure for years by organisations that are publicly, and privately funded to help us.

I wanted to do better, I wanted to focus on the outcome, rather than the ego or income. I am very proud to help to promote other single parent organisations, as there are 3 million UK single parents in the UK who need to know who and what is out there for them. By restricting our information to our services only we risk not having the capacity to help everybody. This is where single parents feel alone, and helpless, this is what leads to single parent suicide. We have a duty to each other and the community we serve to share all that we know, and help as many as we can.

The Government and DWP want to see Single Parents working, and we know how to make that happen, we know exactly what support is required, in order to enable every UK parent to thrive with financial autonomy whether in work via employment or business.

By helping us share this information you are helping the economy, and saving lives. Thank you.

Noreen Khan is the Director of NEESIE, a community voluntary group transforming lives of single mums and their children daily. She has a strong passion for developing communities and building resilience in all spheres of community life. She is a well travelled professional and has worked in all areas of cross cultural and transformational development for multi national corporations, businesses, and communities throughout the world. She is a professional compere and public speaker and formally a presenter on Television and Radio.

Her organisation, NEESIE, provides a platform for Single Mothers and their children to grow independently and better their lives. Neesie facilitates prosperity through dedicated support mechanisms in collaboration and partnership with local communities, schools and public and private sector organisations and anchor organisations. Support is provided to a broad spectrum of society and from diverse backgrounds. Noreen has been a catalyst for change, advocating for the Human Rights and freedom of choice for Single Mothers and lone parents on a national and political agenda. A defiant leader and advocate for better Welfare reform changes to Tax credits and Universal credit, she has staunchly worked to bridge the poverty gap and creating an imbroglio situation for Single parents who will find themselves in a constant state of forlorn emotional calamity.

NEESIEs’ ultimate aim is to build capacity among single mothers to ensure their full and active participation in society. This is done through Reassurance of understandings and empathy of situations; Development through tailored interventions; and Progress within society, moving towards engagement and social integration and develop a strong foundation that encourages resilient communities. Noreen is committed to developing the plight of single mums and reaches across many boundaries, hence has developed an international presence across four continents through collaboration and partnership working.

Noreen Khan Info.neesie@gmail.com

facilitating prosperity for single mums

“

a platform for single mothers and their children to enable them to grow independently and better their lives”

Neesie Facilitating prosperity for Single Mum’s and Women with children

It's been over seven years since I became a single mum. Like many, the road has been a rocky one with plenty of ups and downs but one thing I’ve noticed from my own experiences, and that of single parents around me, is that we are often invisible and, worse still, actively discriminated against across almost all areas of life. From the attitudes of landlords and employers, to the fees charged at many attractions across the UK.

Nothing highlighted this more than when the pandemic first hit Britain with full force back in March 2020. While everyone was affected by the school closures and social isolation that the first lockdown ushered in. It was quickly evident that single parents had been entirely forgotten about. From how would we do the weekly shop, to how on earth can you home school and work effectively, with no childcare or outside support? Spoiler: You can't.

Having spent many years writing about single parenting and trying to raise understanding of the reality of single parenting the good, the bad and the ugly I knew I had to go one step further and push for real policy change.

During that first lockdown, I hand delivered a letter to Dominic Cummings house, the then adviser to the Prime Minister, outlining what it was really like for single parents in lockdown. Fast forward a couple of weeks and my lobbying, together with the work of other groups, to secure support bubbles for single parent households.

For me, this was just the beginning. The real issue is that single parents are not included in the Equality Act, and this is why we are so often ignored by policy makers. So,I setup SingleParentRights totry andaddress this.

Single Parent Rights is a single parent led campaign group fighting for single parents to be added to the Equality Act alongside those who are married and in civil partnerships. If you want to learn more or get involved in the campaign you can visit our website at, Single Parent Rights or follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

RuthTalbotFounder Single ParentRightsCampaign

Followusontwitter @SglParentRights Followus onInstagram:@SingleParentRights

I am Nicola Booth, a 34 year old single mum raising a 10 year old girl.

I created Single Parents Support and Advice Services (running under a different name at that time) in October 2012 when I became a single mother, sat at home on an evening thinking there must be other single parents in this situation, so a local Facebook page was made and gone from strength to strength over this time to a now fully registered charity!

support, one for emotional support and one for our first charity shop in Barnsley. Our aim is to support single parents to gain access to services which normally have long waiting lists or costs involved so they are unable to access them, for example counselling. This now includes emergency food parcels and energy top ups. We also Run surplus food projects all over the UK to help beat food waste and feed our families in need.

SPSAS is a charity for single parents all over the UK. We aim to combat isolation and loneliness through uniting as a community. We have two main Facebook groups and sub groups to help members with mental health support, domestic abuse support, parents with children with additional needs and more! We also have Facebook pages, one for the organisation, one for free legal

We are proud to say that we are ALL volunteers in SPSAS, even me! All our services are FREE and we run on grants and donations.

SPSAS Single Parents Support and Advice Services, Lone Parent

I have always been a huge fan of Ten2Two, but again it took me YEARS to learn of their existence. Women (and men) regularly fall into traps because there isn’t enough knowledge and support signposting them to specialist agencies who help them find SALARIED work for PROFESSIONAL pay. We really must do better, and at the point where we enter into a situation where 9-5 is unmanageable we need to know what is out there to avoid a decade of destitution. Why does this never get airtime? This is news that people need to hear!

Ten2Two has been working to change attitudes and approaches to part-time, flexible and remote working for more than 14 years. They work with businesses around the UK to help them understand the benefits of employing a flexible workforce, offering support and services to make flexible working a reality. Ten2two works as a recruiter to source high calibre professionals for flexible roles across all levels and all sectors in business. They design and implement returner programmes and consult with businesses to help shape future focussed staffing models.

Since their launch in 2007, they have seen the employment landscape shift in favour of more flexible working arrangements and a greater acceptance from employers that even senior, professional jobs can be done successfully on a part-time basis. MD, Deborah O’Sullivan says “when we first launched, we would have to explain to our clients the various types of working formats available and that part time roles weren’t just for junior positions. Now, especially following the pandemic, our clients come to us asking for all levels of candidates in all sorts of formats from three days per week, five short days remote working or other flexible working formats.”

Ten2Two aims to help mothers (and fathers!) achieve a work life balance by finding rewarding work with local employers working hours that suit life’s other demands such as the school run or nursery schedule. Their slogan says it all Drop kids off. Have a career. Pick kids up. They are looking forward to expanding their business reach further across the UK in the coming years.

Find out more at www.ten2two.org

I didn’t want my daughters to grow up in a world where the glass ceiling is still so stubbornly thick. Where if you have other commitments, societal attitudes make it hard for you to achieve your full potential. Never mind the countless studies that have shown that part time and flexible workers are more productive!

And, I knew there must be some good employers out there ones who value their staff and the output they bring, whatever hours they work.

I just hadn’t found them yet...

New beginnings

Full disclosure I love Recruitment I love helping people find their dream job as I know how transformative the right opportunity can be. But the Recruitment market I, and so many of my friends, experienced was broken. It was only working for those who could work full time. Until Investing in Women, in my 12+ years of Recruitment, I had never (not even once) recruited someone for a part time role.

It is hard for those of us who prefer to work part time or flexibly to find our dream roles as there are so few about. We end up having to apologise or justify why we want part time. “I want part time BECAUSE…”

And I want to change that.

In June, I launched the Investing in Women job board. We only advertise part time or flexible roles and champion the positive effects part time working has on society and the economy. Did you know, for example, that more flexible working could unlock £55bn and create 51,000 jobs?

And almost six months in I can promise you there are some amazingly thoughtful and considerate employers out there. Phew!

Ones that want to recruit and progress talent just like you, on hours that work for you and your family.

Through my job board, Investing in Women, I am determined to help you find the right job. One that

works for you and your family, challenges you (in the best way possible), develops your skills and experience and allows you to continue progressing up the career ladder.

Why?

Because you are too talented for your skills to go to waste!

Are you ready? Search the Investing in Women job board to find your next flexible or part time job.

And while you are there please consider this your invitation to join my empowering Facebook Group Working Mums UK. This is YOUR group where you can expect to find all the tools, strategies, training and inspiration you need to flourish at all stages of your career.

Pull up a chair, get cosy, and meet some new mum friends. Our community is full of like minded female professionals willing to offer support, advice or a friendly ear.

I can’t wait to get to know you better.

Lots of love, Liz xxx

Meet

’s what Liz says;

Do you want to:

• Be available for school pick up and drop off

• Watch your toddler’s delight as they pop bubbles at their favourite toddler group

• Meet your mum friends on Friday afternoons whilst your kids play, and you drink Prosecco (busted –maybe that’s just me and my friends!)

• Take long weekends without eating into your annual leave

I did too, but call me greedy, unrealistic or misinformed I didn’t feel this should mean I shouldn’t be able to climb the career ladder in a fulfilling job that allowed me to develop my skills and experience. But this is something I have witnessed happen time and time again to so many friends and colleagues. Those that want to work fewer hours after having children often find themselves side lined, underpaid and undervalued.

And I had a feeling it was about to happen to me…

Oh sh*t

…

Last September, at the height of the Covid pandemic, I was made redundant from a job I loved (yep I was an economic victim of the Covid pandemic). I had worked part time in the Recruitment team at one of the Big 4, recruiting HR Consultants into their Consulting practice.

Now straight up. here’s what they don’t tell you about looking for a part time job…

I quickly discovered it wasn’t easy to find ‘good quality’ part time roles. To maintain my family friendly hours, I would have to take a big step down in my career (and a significant cut in salary, thus making childcare unaffordable).

Each time I mentioned part time with a Recruiter, they quickly told me the role was full time only, or worse, they ghosted me! I mean how rude!

But my daughters were only little (2 and 3 years old). And I didn’t want to miss all the precious milestones working in a full time role. I decided enough was enough...

Liz! Another amazing woman who has decided enough is enough and is doing something about it! Here

It has always been important to me to make it clear that the SMBN is not about misandry, it’s simply old school boy school girl school mentality we need to focus! I signpost to male only networks and organisations, as you will see on the next few pages, and I share with you here a blog post from February, which will hopefully shed some light on my personal view which I hope will help some men.

unique challenges.

Hawkins

This blog has been eating away at me for some time, as they always do. I am signposted before I blog and fed material that only pushes me to offer my perspective. A year or two ago I had a conversation with a friend, who said that they just didn’t know what was expected of them anymore, as a man, where all they hear about is equality which is often translated as misandry. I have the benefit of a strong female network, some identify strongly as feminists, others find the term offensive, and I have previously blogged about women supporting women, asking what about the men. It is now time to elaborate on that blog, and hopefully, whilst undoubtably upsetting some, offering others some much needed insight into what many women, hope, men will show up as in the 21st Century.

Firstly, I am all for equality, but I also love feminine and masculine energy, and how we differ physically and mentally in many ways. Equality is just (for me) about not being at a disadvantage, especially financially, because of your sex, or being more vulnerable because of it, just as with race, nationality, age, religion or disability.

I am also passionate about women supporting women, but not because of misandry, because I believe it is our inherent tribal nature, to be more of a community and to have healthy relationships and support with those who are similar to us and understand our

Men have had healthy support networks for many years, via work, social, sport, and networks that used to be male only such as the Masons. I see a lot of displeasure from men at the mention of female only business networking, and I suspect this is a little down to ego. I never witnessed such displeasure around the WI (Women’s Institute) whereby the (old) public perception was baking and fundraising, or around book clubs or knit and natter clubs, but when business networking started rolling out female only network it was offensive to many men, who feel business is their world.

The focus is what women have in common, and meeting with like minded people whilst maintaining a safe space to talk about female things, sometimes. The networks I attend are very professional but if we need to talk about menstruation, ovulation, menopause, pregnancy, or indeed disadvantages such as reduced pensions or challenges as normally predominantly primary carers it is a relaxed environment to do that..

There is a lot of room for equality and we can close some of those differences, but we will always have (I hope) femininity and masculinity. I fear that with feeling misplaced many men will suffer with mental health problems due to feeling lost or unfulfilled if they feel they have lost their place in the world as providers and protectors.. but I want to make clear how I think we need men to step up as men in

Masculinity, Equality, Mental Health and Purpose for the 21st Century Man | Julie

the 21st century, and I will attempt to do that with simple clarity and examples.. I have a few men in my network, and I refer to a few famous faces who seem to have a very healthy balance and view of masculinity, purpose, equality, femininity and so their minds appear to be strong, and they are role models for men who are lost.

Let’s look at Michael Ray, Paul O’Grady, Marcus Rashford, Professor Green and I have a couple of incredible men in my network who I know will read this who are working incredibly hard at the moment to create something for the greater good, you should know who you are..

If you are not already familiar with Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, please embark on your own further study. A lot of work that I do is to try and ensure that people’s basic needs are met, as I know that we have limited ability to help others when we lack security and safety. Normally once our basic needs are met we can progress to form healthy relationships with others and hopefully at this stage, feel inspired to help others and increase our sense of purpose. Many people lack motivation to do this once their basic and psychological needs are met they leave others in the purple and green zones therefore never reaching the orange zone! How is this relevant to masculinity, mental health and purpose for men who only hear about equality and women supporting women? let me explain..

Due to lack of equality, many women have been and still are vulnerable to not having their basic needs met. That is why many women support women. These basic needs could easily be met, and at the moment it is mainly men who have the power to do this, at the top, by addressing the hardships that mainly come as a result of child bearing.

Whether by being a stay-at-home wife and losing pension or by barriers to work in line with their skillset and salary due to challenges with childcare. We have amazing feminine bodies and we really do need to procreate, at least most of us do. This bit men can’t do, and I’m not sure they would if they experienced childbirth equivalent to 47 bone fractures and their skeletal structure being torn apart leaving 20 or 30 years of muscle definition ruined in a flash! So, we need to work on accepting that women need to survive despite facilitating life. C19 has given many male CEO’s unique insight into how you can love your family but still crave the workplace, we all enjoy that, and need that; we need people.

So what about the men?!

Many men are noble and kind, and they support themselves and their families

Look at war heroes, look at historic regulators, these men knew something was wrong, and they went above and beyond, not to only line their own pockets but to fight for the vulnerable, to fight for families who were overpaying taxes, to fight to protect the nations women, children, and men who could not fight for themselves, these men had purpose, fulfilment. We now have a safer war to fight, there is little risk to body and mind, only risk of upsetting peers. We need men to fight for our safety, we need men to fight against misogyny, rape, trafficking, out of balance inflation, racism, homophobia, ageism, child abuse, domestic abuse, discrimination, homelessness, all things that should not be happening in the 21st Century. I see so many posts and articles across my social media channels and in the press about women fighting against these issues, setting up charities, campaigning, supporting each other, but it is less frequent to see men helping us fight this war. We have a Government, we never argue that we pay tax on everything, from birth to death, but we still bear heavy judgement and shame if we need that tax, and are often left destitute whilst out tax pays for lavish lifestyles and lunches. There is a war, but too few soldiers.

I friend once said to me ‘I don’t know what a woman wants me to be – If I open a car door or offer to pay for a meal I am afraid I offend, and if I don’t I go against the chivalry I understood to be right’ – my only advice was not to be who he thought he should be, but to be his true self and transparent about that so that the right woman would go to him. Personally I love chivalry and door opening, but if we sit at a desk working together all day I want the same pay cheque, and if we bring up a family as a team, I want the same pension, and same estate, and if I am to bring up a family alone, as 1 in 4 families do now, I

want barriers to home, work and opportunities removed, so that we are not the ones who suffer when society permits a parent to abandon a child, financially.

So how do you fight a war when you have not been enlisted? Where do you start? Let’s look at it on a smaller scale – if you can help only six people, the world would be a better place overnight! Your children would be safer, happier, and not destitute on their death bed. I mentioned earlier Michael Ray, Paul O’Grady, Marcus Rashford, Professor Green. These men are all doing something to help others, or to help those more vulnerable. Michael fights for equality, for Dads, for his daughter, he optimises masculinity but he is not afraid to call out other men or women, he is making a difference, he therefore has purpose, self-actualisation and good mental health. He could easily just focus on his partner and his daughter but he does more than that, he is a warrior and unafraid to show his love for his family whilst promoting equality inside and outside of the home.

Then we have Paul O’Grady who – despite being a well paid celebrity, has a genuine passion for helping others – in his case, dogs (and cats) at Battersea, – here is a man who some would question his masculinity, but he is using his strength to help those who are vulnerable, what can be more masculine than that? and then we have Marcus Rashford – if you don’t know what he has been up to you must be living in a cage – a very wealthy and successful football player, who used his platform to stand up for families across the UK, . *Continued on next page

He put vulnerable people above his own need to be popular, and despite the hammering from some of his capitalist testosterone fuelled football network has used his fame for good, despite the stigma, he has seen wrong and he is fighting a war that should not exist.

and lastly I make reference to Professor Green aka Stephen Manderson, who talks openly about mental health and supports so many others, he could easily hide behind his music and tattoos but he has purpose, he did not lose motivation when he and his were okay, he identified his place as a man in this world and is helping to heal the wounded from this psychological war.

But you do not have to be rich or famous to make a difference and be a man in the 21st century.

I guarantee that at least half a dozen people within your reach need your help. I read articles of men who set-up football clubs for disadvantage children and men who set up carpentry sheds for the lonely and elderly, these men have little resource or time, but they reach out and help who is within their reach, those who need them, those who cannot fight their own war.

My biggest heartbreak is seeing how little is done to protect women and children in this Country. How many men stand by and turn a blind eye to rape, abuse, trafficking. hunger, poverty and abuse towards minority groups.

Men who are not motivated because they are not struggling or directly affected, and they wonder what their purpose is because they take offence at the mention of equality. From where I am standing, we need men more than ever to show that they are the

protectors, and not the perpetrators. There is no in-between, you are either okay with it, or you are not.

Some tribes banish men who lay with a woman against her will, they say it is not ‘their way’ – it should not be anybody’s way. We have laws in this country but we do not have enforcement. We do not have men banishing each other or setting a strong example of what is right or wrong, we have unregulated violent porn and ungoverned increase of property prices, ungoverned capitalism and ungoverned presenteeism and discrimination.

We live in a Country, where you should feel safe to walk the street at night, where you should not be vulnerable because of your age, sex, race, sexuality or religion, we live in a Country where our basic needs should be not be a lifetime of struggle to achieve, and we live in a Country where I hear all too often, that men do not know where they stand. So let me say, you may not know where you stand but stand you must.

Do not be the perpetrator, the bully; be the protector. We can celebrate masculinity and femininity and support equality, where there is fear of safety, there will be fear of equality. We need community we can trust, men we can trust, men we know will be educated not to cause pain, we need Governance from the top to make sure that these crimes will not be tolerated in our society.I am a strong and independent woman, but this is a call to action for modern masculinity, and clarity of purpose to stand up and use that testosterone for good. We can all help somebody. There is no time to be lost. We do need you. Our children need

Dads Unlimited (DU), a registered charity, supports dads with their mental health because of family breakdown, and to help them reduce parental conflict with former partners in order to improve their co parenting relationships. The issues they are regularly presented with are anxiety, depression, PTSD, domestic abuse, loss of contact with their children, loneliness, isolation, self harm and tragically suicidal ideation.

or without their children.

We work hard to focus on making sure the voice of the child is at the heart of the family breakdown process, whilst simultaneously working to reduce male suicide, help male victims of domestic abuse, and reduce parental conflict post separation to improve outcomes for their children.

DU is run by a group of people (trustees and staff) who have lived experience of the issues involved and have succeeded in dealing with them; and was established from a growing awareness of a significant number of men who are desperate for information and support after relationship breakdown and enforced separation from their children, but finding little or none out there. Desperation is not too strong a word for the plight of these men; the stress of their situation can, over time, affect their mental health to the point of suicidal thoughts and, in some cases, to suicide itself.

We provide wrap around unlimited support on all of these issues by putting in early interventions to reduce parental conflict so as to improve co parenting through our trauma informed services of 1:1 Mentoring, Mental Health counselling, Male Victims IDVA service, Support Group Meetings, Family Court

Support / Barrister Representation Service, Co Parenting workshops, and plenty of community activities for dads to enjoy with

The impact of family breakdown, on mothers, fathers, children, and on society, is immensely damaging all round. Much has been written about the impact of family breakdown on children, especially in relation to absent fathers. Much has been written about the impact on mothers bringing up children on their own. Much less has been written about the impact on fathers, especially where they have been denied regular and meaningful access to their children.

Our vision is that children from separated families have an equal opportunity through a positive and nurturing co parenting environment.

AboutNavwhofoundedDads Unlimited

In 2013 I began my journey into a world which, and I didn’t know it at the time, would transform the rest of my life. I was a Single Dad who saw his son one night in the week and most weekends. Things changed for me a lot, not only was I so used to being in a partnership, but as that had ended I had to try and find out

Before, my life consisted of conference calls, meetings, meetings about meetings, getting up early, coming home late, analysing budgets, articulating strategy, tactical negotiations, giving speeches, travel, holding to account, leading teams, holding 1:1’s, shaping visions and values, building organisations, developing policies and processes, operational delivery, working on difficult legal issues and cases, building bridges with communities, and anything else corporate life had to throw at me.

Now it’s all about school runs, cleaning, homework, ironing, washing, sports days, school plays, food shopping, budgeting, entertaining in the holidays, cooking, exercising, learning maths and English again, reading, negotiating, teaching, chauffeuring, answering endless questions and organising play dates. To be honest the list is pretty endless just when you think you’ve mastered something along comes something else and the whole thing starts again. I’ve never been so tired.

But that’s not always how it was.

necessity. We are not anti women or anti mothers. We are only Pro Dad.

Absolutely crucial to this, and what you also may not know is that according to the Office of National Statistics the number of men who are now Primary Carers for their children has risen by almost 137% in 3 years from 2013. In fact, that number is now 406,000 Single Dads, which represents 14% of the Single Parent population. With this rapid rise and if this pace continues, we will have parity between the sexes in less than 30 years. There is currently a vacuum, with no one trying to appropriately fill it.

When I started down this path I looked everywhere for advice, for help and for support or for just someone saying I was doing alright. But I didn’t find anything or anyone. And especially not another Dad in my exact position. So I literally made things up as I went along, or asked a few Mums who I knew would help me out. But I really wanted to meet someone else who would help and understand. There were good days and bad, but as I was told just try to be ‘good enough’. And because I couldn’t find anything that’s how Dads Unlimited was born. Out of

Butnowthereis. Dads Unlimited.

It’s the best job I’ve ever had one that never

www.dadsunltd.org.uk

‘Because as Dads we are growing the Women and Men of the future and we’re doing it well, but we could do it better.’

thanks you but always rewards you.

I first connected with Michael on LinkedIn in 2019, and realised that he faced challenges as a single dad that I could not even imagine as a mother, he talked about not being able to be the parent in the room for his daughter’s ballet performance, and how that made him, and Charlie feel. I completely understood where he was coming from, and so interviewed him to discuss the different challenges faced by mothers and fathers, and where sexism hinders equality for both sexes. You can watch the interview on the SMBN website. Michael is in Australia but his message and education is universal, and I feel very proud to know him with all that he continues to achieve, and the permanent mark he is making for his daughter. He has written a book, information below, and I would encourage you to visit his website and read his blogs, especially if you are feeling pretty hard done by as a father. He is a true voice of reason, a gamechanger, and no doubt his daughter will be forever proud. Michael will come to the UK as a speaker if we can ensure it pays for him and his family to visit us. Contact him if you are interested.

Michael Ray is an Australian solo dad, a speaker, advocate and a published author with his book "Who Knew?" "Who Knew?" explores global issues around parenting past and present and discusses how we must change our ideologies instead of conforming to the status quo. He talks through his own experiences as a solo dad and how he has had to constantly challenge old valuesand misconceptions that are still accepted in today's societies.

Order "Who Knew?" from www.michealray.com.au or;

Amazon - https://www.amazon.com.au/Who-Knew-Michael-Ray-ebook/dp/B094FQCC6Z

Booktopia- https://www.booktopia.com.au/who-knew--michael-ray/book/9780648771876.html

We had SUCH an INCREDIBLE night with our children at the 2022 SMBN Awards at the Hatherley Manor Hotel in Gloucester. To share a room with so many incredible, hardworking women who have all felt pain to the core was a unique experience that none of us will ever forget. Please enjoy the pictures, they speak for themselves!

When you work really hard in employment, your work is recognised by pay increases or employee of the month stickers! and when you work hard in study, your work is recognised by certificates or qualifications. When you work hard in business, it is easy to feel like you are suffering in silence and nobody has any idea what you are going through to make things happen behind the scenes! Awards are such a great opportunity to submit an essay about what you have done and what you plan to do! and it’s really nice to be awarded recognition for your efforts and authenticity. Don’t be shy to nominate yourself or somebody you think is awesome! What is the worst that can happen really?! we don’t issue a list of who applied! We only disclose if you make it to the finals, so go ahead, tell your story and enjoy your glory!

Google SMBN Awards to enter for 2023!

If you’re a bit of a philanthropist and you fancy some PR in this mag and across our social media channels why not sponsor us! Details on the website, or if reading on line you can click HERE. The SMBN a Social Enterprise! We are self sufficient wherever possible, but we DO accept sponsorship if you just love what this is about and you want to put your name to it!

The Charity Learning Consortium are dedicated to providing affordable and effective learning solutions for charitable organisations. Membership includes a suite of eLearning, charity specific video content, a learning management system and access to a vibrant community for members to connect and share good practice. You also get a whole host of other goodies as part of an annual subscription.

Hundreds of charitable organisations benefit from collaborating with us. Bringing them together enables the Consortium to offer cost-effective, quality eLearning to more than a million people across the UK.

Our collaborative approach paves the way for learning and development success, with ongoing support, fantastic networking opportunities, relevant workshops, and an inspirational Charity Learning Conference & Awards.

Please get in touch with our friendly team to find out more!

eLearning That's Affordable for Charities and the Third Sector | CLC

Thank you ‘Friends of the SMBN’

Google SMBN to join as a friend and benefit from increased biz exposure whilst endorsing your support for our work

CORPORATE MEMBERSHIP

Corporate Member benefits:

• Invitation to social events that bring members, friends and sponsors together such as summer party and winter ball / awards (all family friendly!)

• Inclusion in the quarterly Single Mums Business Magazine

• Logo with link on SMBN website

• You will be actively demonstrating that you are supporting our positive social impact mission whilst supporting other single mums, and our friends, in business

• You will be committed to understanding and accommodating single mothers, and fathers with barriers to childcare

• You will be demonstrating that you are socially responsible employer and that you are actively choosing to remove barriers with a view to supporting the circular economy and enabling a tax in instead of tax out enforced culture

• Annual presentation for your team

• Your employees benefit from immediate specialist support and full member benefits should they become a single parent via separation, loss of a partner or through choice.

• Certified SMBN tick as a socially responsible corporation

Corporate Membership Single Mums Business Network [smbn]

Visit singlemumsbusinessnetwork.com/corporate membership

Corporate Membership not only makes sense as a Marketing investment, it’s also great to support economic impact for tenders.

Whatever joy there is in this world, All comes from desiring others to be happy, And whatever suffering there is in this world, All comes from desiring myself to be happy. […]

where SOLO no longer means SOLO

Master Shantideva